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Audible Audio
First published April 1, 2015
To put a lack of cleanliness in the ranking order, this apartment fell somewhere between filthy stinkin' disgusting and sweet-mother-of-Moses-what-poor-creature-died-in-here?
"You sure you don't want to go?" I asked, hopeful.
"I would rather glue acorns to my naked body and be eaten alive by an army of rabid squirrels."
I had endured every sick death ever conceived by man or nature. I was caught in a mudslide, eaten by a lion, got run over by a crappy purple Scion...
Okay, okay, those are the lyrics to a Train song. But the first two really did happen. I was sure the Scion would be only a matter of time.
Specter was a tall, statuesque blonde with full lips and eyelashes that belonged on a camel. Okay, maybe that's not the best comparison in the world since she was a drop dead gorgeous cold hard ten, and camels are...camels. But seriously. Her eyelashes were huge.
Seriously, the guy was like a smiley mutant hybrid between the Joker and the Cheshire Cat.

