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Yes Yes Hell No: The Little Book for Making Big Decisions
What does it take to create an extraordinary life? One where you make a difference, have amazing relationships, achieve your dreams, live your purpose, and experience great happiness?
You have to be able to:
Make big decisions. A big decision is a choice where the stakes are high and you feel conflicted about the alternatives.
Create big wins. A big win is a goal that’s heartfelt, specific, and scary. It’s a dream or a desire that matters so much it frightens you.
Make friends with your fears. The problem with big wins and big decisions is that they trigger your fears. And the harder you fight against those fears, the stronger they become. Instead, your opportunity is to release the inner conflict by learning how to turn your fears into some of your most trustworthy friends.
This book contains what may be the single most powerful and reliable tool there is for developing these three skills. This tool works in a wide range of areas. It’s free, fun, and non-fattening. Plus it creates remarkable results. And it all starts by discovering what it means to experience a Yes Yes Hell No!
“One of the most simple and powerful technologies I’ve ever seen for making big decisions in life…from one of the great leaders and coaches in the field.”
– From the Foreword by Jack Canfield, Co-Creator of Chicken Soup for the Soul® and Co-Author of The Success Principles
“Brian Whetten demystifies the hidden process of effective decision making in this straight talking new book. It's indispensible.”
– Barnet Bain, Producer of What Dreams May Come
“This may be the most impactful book you’ll ever read.”
– Steve D’Annunzio, President of Mission Driven Advisors
"Cuts like a diamond..."
- Steve Chandler, Best Selling Author
You have to be able to:
Make big decisions. A big decision is a choice where the stakes are high and you feel conflicted about the alternatives.
Create big wins. A big win is a goal that’s heartfelt, specific, and scary. It’s a dream or a desire that matters so much it frightens you.
Make friends with your fears. The problem with big wins and big decisions is that they trigger your fears. And the harder you fight against those fears, the stronger they become. Instead, your opportunity is to release the inner conflict by learning how to turn your fears into some of your most trustworthy friends.
This book contains what may be the single most powerful and reliable tool there is for developing these three skills. This tool works in a wide range of areas. It’s free, fun, and non-fattening. Plus it creates remarkable results. And it all starts by discovering what it means to experience a Yes Yes Hell No!
“One of the most simple and powerful technologies I’ve ever seen for making big decisions in life…from one of the great leaders and coaches in the field.”
– From the Foreword by Jack Canfield, Co-Creator of Chicken Soup for the Soul® and Co-Author of The Success Principles
“Brian Whetten demystifies the hidden process of effective decision making in this straight talking new book. It's indispensible.”
– Barnet Bain, Producer of What Dreams May Come
“This may be the most impactful book you’ll ever read.”
– Steve D’Annunzio, President of Mission Driven Advisors
"Cuts like a diamond..."
- Steve Chandler, Best Selling Author
238 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 1, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
April 1, 2023
This was another title in the 'read the oldest unread book in my Kindle library' challenge, and I was expecting to DNF it somewhere in the first 25% of the book. So it was something of a surprise that I read it through to the end, even if it took me the entire month of March to finish.
A lot of it IS the same general tropes we've come to expect from cis-het-white-male coaching-slash-self-help, but perhaps because Mr Whetton has burnt out twice, and spent a fair amount of time in therapy to recover, there's just a little more nuance to it than I've seen from previous writers in the genre. Not a lot mind you, but a little.
For a start, there's a recognition that our fears exist for a reason - they're not always just a stumbling block to be muscled through on the strength of discipline and willpower. There's also a recognition that not everyone wants the same thing, and trying to grow a business or a career to the highest possible level genuinely isn't a good goal for everyone.
That said, I got thoroughly sick of all the women Mr Whetton coached who apparently thought they wanted career success, and it turned out they just wanted to have a loving family and be a mother (I wouldn't have objected if this was just what one or two women wanted, if there had also been guys who wanted the same thing, or more than one woman who genuinely wanted career success).
And it was also frustrating to see the the idea of modelling promoted as though it was just basic common sense (ie: if you want to do something, find someone who's already done it, and model what they've done to the letter). Yeah, ummm, no. Unless you are exactly like them - and in fact, exactly like they were at the time they had that success (because they'll have changed since then, and the same steps may no longer work for them either), it ain't gonna work the same way.
That said, I did like the overall idea of treating the voices of fear, reason and intuition as partners in any decision, and listening carefully to what each has to say without assuming that any one of them has the whole story. In particular, I love the nuance of refusing to assume that just because fear says not to do something, it's therefore the obvious thing to do.
But still, it's nice that the field of self-help has moved on at least a little in the 9 years since this book was written.
A lot of it IS the same general tropes we've come to expect from cis-het-white-male coaching-slash-self-help, but perhaps because Mr Whetton has burnt out twice, and spent a fair amount of time in therapy to recover, there's just a little more nuance to it than I've seen from previous writers in the genre. Not a lot mind you, but a little.
For a start, there's a recognition that our fears exist for a reason - they're not always just a stumbling block to be muscled through on the strength of discipline and willpower. There's also a recognition that not everyone wants the same thing, and trying to grow a business or a career to the highest possible level genuinely isn't a good goal for everyone.
That said, I got thoroughly sick of all the women Mr Whetton coached who apparently thought they wanted career success, and it turned out they just wanted to have a loving family and be a mother (I wouldn't have objected if this was just what one or two women wanted, if there had also been guys who wanted the same thing, or more than one woman who genuinely wanted career success).
And it was also frustrating to see the the idea of modelling promoted as though it was just basic common sense (ie: if you want to do something, find someone who's already done it, and model what they've done to the letter). Yeah, ummm, no. Unless you are exactly like them - and in fact, exactly like they were at the time they had that success (because they'll have changed since then, and the same steps may no longer work for them either), it ain't gonna work the same way.
That said, I did like the overall idea of treating the voices of fear, reason and intuition as partners in any decision, and listening carefully to what each has to say without assuming that any one of them has the whole story. In particular, I love the nuance of refusing to assume that just because fear says not to do something, it's therefore the obvious thing to do.
But still, it's nice that the field of self-help has moved on at least a little in the 9 years since this book was written.
September 27, 2020
I think this book is one of the most helpful books I have read so far. Its not a book about becoming more decisive in all decisions though but about one way of making big decisions that I personally find very helpful. I highly recommend using the corresponding workbook to get the most out of it. I have actually read it a few times now and it has helped me to make some big decisions with much more certainty and conviction.
August 28, 2017
Useful topics (connection, contribution, growth, creativity) but preachy and cheesy in some parts. Good way of thinking about rational, intuitive, and fear-based decision-making.
January 1, 2020
Many ideas are repackaged from other coaches but awesome to hear again. A lot of the statements on fear really resonated with me. Still need to take action on some exercises.
September 28, 2015
Covers many important concepts and contains some very good tips on decision-making process. However, the writing came across as very self-absorbed and self-important, which was reenforced by too many pages spent on his personal anecdotes and history. Since the author would appear to consult with a variety of clients and problem situations, I think a revised edition could include more case-study variety that is less focused on himself, while also tightening many of the redundant areas of the book. As it is, though I read the whole, I came to the conclusion a quick scanned reading would have been as effective.
May 10, 2015
As with many books of this sort, this one tries to do too much with a very simple idea. While every work needs a clear, simple thesis, not all theses are worthy of a full-length book. I found the first section of the book interesting. The author's analysis of how decisions could be viewed through the lenses reason, intuition, and fear helpful, but the rest of the book was so broad in its topics and the connection to this initial idea was so tenuous that I lost interest.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews