The Festive and the Furious

by Heide Goody, Iain Grant

A BRAND NEW comedy from the best-selling authors of the Clovenhoof books.

One month to Christmas. One stressed-out sales manager. One Winter Wonderland that might just descend into chaos.
Charlotte Mitchell is determined to put Hedgelord Garden Centre at the heart of the community where it belongs. All she needs is the perfect festive season—lights, decorations, Santa, and the biggest Christmas display in town. But there’s just one Jack Hartigan, her infuriatingly charming rival from Bloomers Garden Centre, has the same idea.
Christmas is a battlefield, and Charlotte needs to win.
She can handle lazy employees, manic elves, and a herd of out-of-control reindeer. She might even keep her legendary temper under wraps. But when an ill-advised decorating stunt hits the headlines for all the wrong reasons, Charlotte faces her biggest challenge yet.

Will Charlotte win the day? Will the frosty relationship thaw between her and Jack? Can she save herself, save Hedgelord, and also save Christmas?

Genres: Christmas, Comedy

420 pages, Paperback

Published August 25, 2025

Reviews

[Andy Angel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Christmas is coming . . . and so is total chaos (away, come on, it's Goody and Grant, what else would you expect).

Hedgelord Garden Centre and it's rival Bloomers are both vying for the custom of the local celebrity world record holder for the most christmasly decorated house but that is only the tip of the iceberg.

A Christian sales manager with anger management issues and a ban from every church in the local area, idle workers (with a side line in cannabis smuggling), reindeers on site, new seasonal elves in training and only one month to The Big Day. I kinda knew what to expect with it being my two favourite nutters writing this book but even by their standards of mayhem they've surpassed themselves here.

The story has a very Carry On film/Superstore feel to it. A good amount of the time you can see what is coming but when the joke or scene lands it is often both cringe and joyous.

I always get a good laugh with Iain and Heide and I'm happy to say there are another two books in the series coming very soon.

Merry Christmas

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heide and Iain pull it out of the bag yet again.
This Christmas story is set around a garden centre and its rival.
We have both trying to win over the local Christmas fan who spends considerable money.
Charlotte runs her garden centre but also has a Christian heart and a high level of anger issues! Trying to control her temper and beat her competitor Jack.
Love the take on the book name too.
A laugh riot and I love Luka, Gallagher and Anika trying to get through each day and the madness of working in the garden centre.
Book 2 looks good too read the blurb and sounds fun

[Hilary Mortz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Looking for the perfect Christmas comedy? Even if it’s August and there’s a massive heatwave? Look no further and - to make the prospect even better - The Festive and The Furious is merely Book 1 of a seasonal trilogy that promises to be packed tighter than a top-range luxury Christmas cracker with a cast of fantastic characters and their awesome mad-cap adventures.

I honestly tried not to read The Festive and The Furious too fast because I was enjoying it so much, but hey - it’s a trilogy and I can’t wait to read more about the rival garden centres and find out who finally ‘wins’ Christmas.

Heide Goody and Iain Grant have totally nailed it, as usual. 🎅🎄

[PD Doling · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Festive & The Furious by Heide Goody & Iain Grant.

Terry Pratchett applied logic to fantasy for comic effect, Grant & Goody do the same by applying sod's law to reality.

The authors have clearly been through elf boot camp more than once & have taken copious notes!!

What we have here is the usual madness applied to a festive setting. It's surprisingly restrained to be honest & that maintains the sense of reality which only adds to the comedy; I'm tempted to get a Christmas job at a garden centre just to see what I can emulate/get away with!

An ideal festive read, it's light, fun, with characters you're rooting for & a setting you know damned well is happening just down the road. Charlotte's rage is also disturbingly real & her app continues the brilliant tradition of infuriatingly helpful technology!

Heartily recommended, even if I am now humming carols in bloody August!!

[Yvette Salmon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow reading Christmas book in August what can I say . It put me in the Christmas mood . I liked all the blunders along the way . This book starts a month before the day and all the things that can and do go wrong but also can go right . A good laugh along book. Would recommend a read.

[Colin Murtagh · Rating 5 out of 5]

This so appeals to my sense of humour, even if I am reading Christmas books in September.
I do have a bit of a soft spot for Iain and Heide. I loved Clovenhoof when it started, and the Sealfinger series is an amazingly funny piece of work, but could they make someone as grinchy as me read a Christmas book. Well yes they can.
The story revolves around two Garden Centres, around the Christmas build up. There's Hedgelord, with the very sweary angry Charlotte in charge of the prep and publicity, and Bloomers with the slightly slimy Jack Hartigan both in competition to supply local celebrity Nick Bellingham with his record breaking Christmas decorations.
This you may think would be enough for a book, however you've not see the staff at Hedgelord. Gallagher and Luka, the oddjob men, who seem to have an eye open for any opportunity to turn a profit. Anika, who wants to drop out of uni but is too scared to tell her parents she's got a job as an elf. Daffyd the elf trainer, who may be a little too obsessed, and not forgetting Sophie and Karen. The cast are all very believable, if slightly dialled up, but it's the situations that make it.
This so easily could be turned into a Christmas movie, even if not quite suitable for kids. Could even see Michael Buble in a cameo. Or maybe not.
Wonderful silly seasonal fun, what more could you want. Although I do want Charlottes watch

[Alyson Read · Rating 5 out of 5]

Christmas, little does she know what kind of madness and mayhem she and other newbies Sophie (from the café) and Gillespie are about to encounter as they undergo elf bootcamp training and start work at Hedgelord Garden Centre. A battle is ensuing between Charlotte, in charge of Hedgelord’s seasonal promotions, and the slimy Jack Hartigan from its nearby rival Bloomers as they go head-to-head in a race to win the prized custom of local record-breaking Christmas decorator Nick Bellingham. Of course, the antics of plantsmen Gallagher and Luka turning an animatronic polar bear into a first a killing machine then a singer of sweary songs and also hiding drugs in the reindeer hay are setbacks to say the least. It’s going to take a mighty big plan to ensure they all save their own skins, their jobs and indeed Christmas!
Oh, I did enjoy this first book in the series! It’s very funny, it’s clever and it’s heartwarming in an odd way. Of course, Christmas is a very big deal in the retail world and with competition fierce, all the stops are pulled out by the two rival ventures in this hilarious romp through the world of grottos, mince pies and all things sparkly! All the characters are vividly painted and very likeable, but my absolute favourite has to be Luka. Never again will I see my local garden centre Planters in the same light again and I can’t wait to read book 2, Runaway Santa.

[Merry-Ellen Unan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Are you getting tired of your seasonal reading being nothing but tropey H@llmark Christmas movies in book version? Crave some edgier humor (and a lot more swearing), but still looking for relatably flawed characters you can root for (even as their choices make you want to bang your head off the wall)? Hoping for a light but engaging Yuletide read, complete with elves, punctuated by your own embarrassed snorts?

Looking for deep, thought provoking literary themes that stir your social consciousness?

If I had your interest right up until that last one, then you've found a book for yourself!

You can't go wrong with a Goody/Grant collab, and existing fans will be delighted with the brand new cast of annoyingly loveable weirdos in The Festive and The Furious. The non stop antics in this ridiculous but basic human pre-holiday romp will keep you turning the pages until your work alarm goes off (and you hate yourself a little.)

Not for children's bedside stories or family read-a- longs. Pour yourself some bubbly, and vent some festive frustration through the kind of players who are more likely to blindly bulldoze, than to joyfully frollick, through this escapade.

*Canadian icon trigger warning 🎶

[Angie Petty · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a story of two garden centres who are competing for the Christmas market. Both particularly want the custom of Nick Bellingham who has a massive display and attracts the local and national press. If they can get his business it will be good advertising. Charlotte works for Hedgelords and Jack works for Bloomers. These two are responsible for the sales however neither appear to be a responsible adult. They are out to sabotage each other but end up sabotaging eveything with many laughs on the way. Charlotte has a bad temper and even has an app on her watch to count her swear words, the watch constantly vibrates on her wrist. There is a lot going on at Hedgelord two of the employees have been asked to deliver a sack of weed but the car breaks down so they hide the weed in a bale of hay and the reindeer eat it all. This ensues in lots of slapstick moments. Anika is a university drop out and hasn't yet told her parents she has got a job in the garden centre which leads to mayhem. Very funny story if slightly ridiculous, there are lots of laugh out loud moments and provided you can cope with Charlotte swearing constantly this is a brilliant book for a Christmas present. It would make a good Christmas sitcom.

[Ian Oulton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever had one of those days? A day that starts with one plan. A good plan. But we do not live alone on this green planet we call home. Other people’s innocent ideas come into play. Well, mostly innocent, if you discount the idea of fraternising with the criminal underworld resulting in drug addled reindeer.

​This book is a delightful festive farce that follows Charlotte Mitchell, a sales manager determined to create the ultimate Christmas display for her garden centre.

Her plans are immediately thrown into chaos by a charming rival, Jack Hartigan, and a series of hilarious mishaps. The authors expertly blend a cozy mystery with fast-paced humour, making for an entertaining and easy read. Fans of British comedy and lighthearted Christmas stories will find this a perfect holiday treat, filled with charming characters and a chaotic, yet heartwarming, plot.

Heide Goody and Iain Grant, known for their witty and imaginative comedy series like Clovenhoof, bring their unique style to the holiday season with The Festive and the Furious.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great title and cover for this book about Christmas mayhem ( that was more than enjoyable in mid August )

Charlotte is a great character and her determination to make Hedgelord Garden Centre the ‘place to be’ up to and inc Christmas is contagious…..I also really liked Anika and made me LOL with her thoughts re Garden Centres and their patrons,we all thought it when we were younger and its without shame I can say I now kinda like visiting them ( with parents or elderly friends of course! )

Charlotte and Anika were my 2 favourite characters in the book,strong,resilient and feisty

It is of course a Christmas book and so the Crimbo theme is strong throughout as expected but not all sugary….

My only point to mention is the language used is definitely not typical Christmas fayre ( fair? ) but does fit with the books characters

A good funny read about a Garden Centre and its staff where literally anything can and does happen

[Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh my what a fun read!!

Christmas has landed at the garden centre and Anika on the blag, manages to get herself a job as an elf. Charlotte is stressing about the one up man ship she desires against a local rival garden centre. And there is Luka and Gallagher who are just lazy but manage to get themselves in a pickle.

Grant and Goody share the narratives around the characters with great comic effect. The workers at Hedgelord made me chuckle as they raced through this festive few days. Charlotte’s stress leapt off the page, my eyes rolled at the antics her underlings performers whilst I smirked.

This is the first I’ve read from this writing duo and I thoroughly enjoyed this festive caper. It was fun and pacey, the chaos of Christmas with a twist. I can imagine some of the antics happening at my local garden centre – I can’t wait for the Runaway Santa.

[C I KESZEI · Rating 4 out of 5]

A rollicking good festive farce

I have read almost everything these two hugely talented authors have written and for me, that sets the benchmark for any new work.

This reminded me of a Tom Sharpe story, with a slowish build up of many characters all running towards a colossal finale, inevitably involving fireworks (literally in this case). The undercurrent between the two main protagonists suggests a form of forbidden fruit for them that may play out into something else further down the line.

Very well written, and I feel bad giving only four stars. It wasn't as fast paced as the Clovenhoof series, and I was reading it over the festive period, with lots of interruptions. That may have influenced my rating, and I will read the next installment in fewer sittings, to see if that helps.

[MaryJo Legg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Take two garden centers competing for the one customer who goes all out for Christmas decorations and add in a "smarty pants" elf and two employees of one of the garden centers, mix well, then put a dash(er) of cannabis into the reindeer food along with a drug courier job gone wrong, and then top with a Christmas crooner imposter and the real Christmas crooner, and you end up with the side-splitting antics in "The Festive and the Furious." Luca shines with his dry wit, Gallagher elicits sympathy with his hard-knock life, Anika just wants to find her place in life, and Charlotte struggles with her anger issues and swearing. Looking forward to the next installment of life at the Hedgelord Garden Centre.

[Karen Cuddy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was such a fun surprise for me. Charlotte Mitchell, the sales manager at Hedgelord Garden Centre, is under pressure to beat their rivals at Bloomers Garden Centre during the festive season. Add in Anika, a 19-year-old student ready to quit university who talks her way into a job as an elf, plus the antics of workers Luka and Gallagher, and you’ve got chaos in the best possible way. I found it hilarious from start to finish — all the scheming, stress, and over-the-top attempts to impress a VIP visitor had me laughing out loud. It’s not my usual genre, but I loved every page and it put me firmly in the festive spirit. Thanks to the author and TBC reviewer group for the opportunity to read.

[Tammy S. Dewhirst · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the moment a main character has a watch that counts the times she swears, I knew The Festive and the Furious was going to be a fun read. Funny and fast, two garden centres compete for the grand prize of Christmas decorating accounts. Tempers flare and fun ensues. There are several laugh out loud moments that I won’t spoil for readers of this review. The characters are engaging and feisty…and sometimes foolhardy. Someone else said that the book reminded them of the “Carry On” films and that reference is apt. It’s like a Tim Dorsey book not set in Florida and with slightly less drugs. The Festive and the Furious is a read that will not want to put down and will get you in the holiday spirit. Pick it up today.

[Dr S. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m a big fan of Heidi and Ian’s previous works (especially the superb “Odd Jobs” series), so I was keen to read this festive delight, even in the midst of the hottest August on record.

The Festive and the Furious did not disappoint. Set in a garden centre at the brink of Christmas, you already know that tensions will be high, targets will need to be met at all costs and everyone will be willing to go above and beyond to make the season the best ever.

Enter manager Charlotte and her team of highly-trained elves, plantsmen/part-time reindeer wranglers and a giant animatronic polar bear, add a dash of unhealthy competition with the rivals down the road, and get ready for a wild sleigh-ride. Just don’t ask what happened with the pigeon at the carol concert….

[Leanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book made me feel so light and happy. It's blend of festive fun and blunders was just the tonic that I didn't know I needed. Now I am singing Christmas songs in the shower in August! It was great to know that everyone gets frustrated and Charlotte let's her frustrations out through swear words but all in good faith. I never knew so much could happen in a garden centre but it does in this book with mischievous elves. This story feels like joy and it was nice to read something light and fluffy.

[Jacquie Parry · Rating 5 out of 5]

A total triumph from this very talented pair
I absolutely loved it and finished it in two days
I also have the audio book which really adds and extra dimension
I was lucky enough to get an advance copy so.im well pleased
The characters are brilliant, funny and clever
The Elf training part is one of the funniest things ive ever read!
I cant wait for the next one in the series
In fact im going to start it again

[Gem Louise · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was sent this book to review and I was pleasantly surprised, I couldn't put it down it was so good!
Hedgelord Garden Centre is Competing against their Rival Bloomers Garden Centre, In the run up to Christmas they pull out all the stops to impress with a few funny mishaps along the way, Think swearing polar bear, awol reindeer and a saucy elf,.
This book will give even the Christmas scrooges a giggle

[CJ Holland · Rating 5 out of 5]

What IS an elf?
Where is Luka from?
Polar bear - fight or flight?

These questions and more may be answered; but more importantly, can Charlotte save Christmas at the Hedgelord garden centre and how many F words is too many when December seems to be conspiring against you and your boss is bell of the non-festive kind?

Really looking forward to the next book. My job application at the local garden centre may depend on it

[Lavender Jade · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook review.

I had so much fun listening to this book, seriously, I laughed myself silly. The story is unrepentantly absurd with twists around every corner, the characters are quirky and one hundred percent delightful, and the narration (Matthew Lloyd Davies) is excellent, I loved the accents. A wonderful first in series!

A review copy of this book was sent to me by the authors. All of the above opinions are my own.

[Liana · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to like this more, and started out not liking at all. There were alot of characters, a couple of whose stories I did not care about. It was also quite a slow start. However, it did start to pick up a bit more than halfway through and there were some truly funny moments. None of those moments I can actually remember what was said, so as a whole, not the biggest impression. It was like watching a funny Xmas movie. I am a fan of athe Clovenhoof books, though!

[Sue Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I never thought I would read a Christmas book in August but this one was entertaining especially the reindeer poo. Charlotte is doing her best to keep her garden centres best christmas customer but Jack who is from a rival one is trying to tempt him away. It's bonkers in places but very enjoyable loved it.

[A.A. Abbott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Put a couple of part-time cannabis smugglers and a herd of reindeer together, and trouble is sure to follow! This bright, breezy Christmas comedy goes behind the scenes at a garden centre, as two rival outfits compete for the business of the blingiest customer in town. There are many priceless moments, and if you're hoping to lose yourself in an escapist read, look no further.

[Lisa Schuck · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're expecting the typical rom com Christmas story... don't. Two gardening stores with yearly Christmas displays are in competition. Not only to be the best, but to get the biggest Christmas displays customer in the area. Mix that with the personal, chaotic, lives of several people that work there and you get a million laughs a minute. Definitely get a copy of this and devour it.

[julie young · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my word, this festive fun, disaster strewn , laugh out loud antics did not disappoint. Hilarious, heartfelt , joys of christmas, grotto competition and rivalry, chainsaws and poorly reindeer. What more could you need.

[Sarah Buggins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very funny and a really good festive book.

[Margaret McCulloch-Keeble · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a word, ludicrous. It reminds me of a book I read years ago by Carl Hiassen, one zany escapade after another.Cleverly put together, I adored the swearing.

[alison willis · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF. Just couldn’t get into it. I didn’t find it funny at all. Reminded me of a low-budget TV supermarket sitcom.