…But It’s Okay If I Do It: True Confessions of an Unintentional A$$HOLE

by Shirley Laffa, Virtual Voice (Narrator)

But It’s Okay If I Do True Confessions of an Unintentional A$$HOLE is a light-hearted look about gaining valuable insights when coping with a variety of relatable, yet sometimes absurd real-life scenarios.

Shirley Laffa doesn’t mean to be an A$$HOLE. But hypocritically tells herself it’s okay if SHE does it, in a pinch. Like after failing to recognize a celebrity guest at a work event or getting caught naked by her potential mother-in-law. This book will strike a chord with every woman who tries to be perfect in an imperfect world.

While attempting to become a ballerina/waiting tables and then enduring cubicle hell, Shirley learns essential lessons. Compounded by the pitfalls of demanding parents, she agonizes with obsessive worries and second-guessing herself. As a recovering people pleasing addict and chronic sufferer of foot-in-mouth disease, hilarious laugh out loud antics showcase Shirley’s own brand of offbeat self-help and unique humour.

We can all relate to embarrassing ourselves; struggling with relentless approval seeking; nagging obsessions about weight; relationships; and workplace tribulations. But taking the opportunity to gain collective wisdom from universal mistakes will lead you to ultimately realize we’re all in this together, and need to be kinder to ourselves, and to each other.

Giddy up for a guilty pleasure ride on an amusing cringe-worthy tour. You’ll be sure to depart feeling lighter, wiser and more in charge of your own destiny!

Genres: Nonfiction

Audible Audio

Published August 26, 2025

About the author

Shirley Laffa has learned plenty from the school of hard knocks.

While trying to become a ballerina, she waited tables, then worked at countless offices to make a living, learning valuable lessons from mistakes along the way.

She relies on humour and perseverance to continuing growing and embracing all of life’s teachable moments.

Medium stories: https://medium.com/@shirley.laffa

Reviews

[Glen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this book in a goodreads drawing.

A woman with OCD, anxiety and a host of other conditions pens humorous stories about the times she was impolite, or worse, unintentionally (usually) and the lessons learned.

Very funny.

[Stephanie Schiff · Rating 5 out of 5]

If Shirley Laffa is an unintentional A$$hole, I need more A$$holes in my life :-). And I'd love to meet her.
Reading her book is like hanging out with your best friend, and laughing over things that have made you uncomfortable, or that you've lived through, but never had the guts to talk about because you just...can't. And she actually understands what it's like to be an extroverted introvert.
This book made me laugh out loud, and unable to look at a public restroom the same way ever again.
Can we be friends, Ms. Laffa??

[MA Eisele · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book I can relate to, because I too have been an unintentional jerk many times. The author and myself have that in common, however we're both a work in progress. I received this book as a Goodreads giveaway, so I want to say thank you. It was an easy and quick read. There's a bit of humor, but I appreciated the author's introspective quips the most. She's candid and that makes it most interesting. We're all only human and wisdom is something we gain through life experience.

[EarnedIt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick fun read

Shirley seems like a great person, inclusive, self-aware, and humble. I could relate to so many of her stories and situations, it was funny to find myself thinking, is this person me?
This is a collection of very short mostly funny stories from the author’s life with a moral at the end of each of them. You will be able to relate to some if not all instances irrespective of your age. I wish I could write a book with her combining my quirky stories with hers that might not be so bizarre after all. Remember we are not alone in this. If you thought of something and wondered whether others do it as well, chances are they do.

[Nesie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Must Read! Very relatable at times and completely authentic. Thank you so much for writing this. It helps others who have felt the same. It was brave to write this memoir. Definitely hoping for a series from this very talented author with such a great writing style.

[Amanda Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute Little Book

I won this from a Goodreads giveaway. This was a quick, humorous book with anecdotes and what the author concluded by her experiences. Recommended.

[Ali · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cute, humorous, relatable.

[Elizabeth O'Keefe · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really thought this would be funnier, or maybe not as 'normal life things we all do that make us seem like a turd at times'. We all have those moments, the things we maybe do or say that are ill timed, it happens. Short read, overall - Meh.

Thank you for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Shirley Laffa's "...But Its Okay If I DO It: True Confessions of an Unintentional A$$HOLE" takes us on a journey of experiences that are all too familiar. From the cringeworthy recounting of Consumer's Distributing questionable "massager" to workplace toilet ettiquette to heartfelt confessions of hating team sports and the hilarious chocolate craving induced winter storm roadtrip, Laffa's true confessions show personal, real-life experiences in all their awkward, comical, absurd, touching and sometimes notstalgic glory.

I recommend Laffa's "...But It's Okay If I Do It: True Confessions of an Unintentional A$$HOLE" for anyone in need of a lighhearted easy read. If nothing else, Laffa shows that we're not alone in our experiences. And that many of life's trials and tribulations in our personal and professional lives are universal. I found myself nodding in agreement many times throughout the book and felt validated and "seen" realizing it wasn't just me who thought this way or had these experiences.

In a world that's full of anger, hatred, and toxicity, treat yourself to some off-beat, whimsical stories that will definitely put a smile on your face. I'm looking forward to future works by Shirely Laffa.

[Beatrice · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ms. Laffa has put together a collection of frank, funny and engaging “confessions” that are readable and relatable. There are laugh-out-loud moments, shake-your-head stories, and some tales that may bring tears to your eyes. Laffa’s honesty helps us to step back and take a look at the hang-ups (social and otherwise) that so many of us have. It’s a relief to be reminded that we can and should laugh at ourselves. Lighten up already! When Laffa reveals her own foibles, it’s not just to give us a chuckle - she’s also allowing us to be the imperfect humans we are.
With its brief and pithy stories, this book makes a great gift, and an excellent addition to any collection of self-help or humour books.

[Emaline Ashe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I connected with Shirley through the Medium writer's platform. Her candid and personal pieces made me laugh, empathize, and feel as if I were conversing with a close friend.

This book is a shining example of Shirley's forthright, humorous, and personal style. Each vignette is hilariously written and demonstrates Shirley's self-awareness of the human flaws that we all possess.

The vignettes are funny, yet relatable and teachable moments to smile and learn from. And the moral at the end of each story is just icing on the cake.

This book demonstrates how we all can benefit from giving a little more grace to each other, as well as to ourselves.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a short read and I really enjoyed listening to it. I recognized myself in some of the short stories. And I could relate to a lot of the situations. If you want a short but funny book, I recommend this one.

I received this from a Goodreads Publishing Giveaway. My review is honest and voluntary.

[Julie Good · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful and humorous

Shirley shares her life with us, the good and the bad. All the while teaching the reader how to navigate through life being an unintentional a$$hole, finding humor and self-acceptance.
I enjoyed this book immensely.

[Yvonne Marks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read. The author relates real life incidents that are easy to relate too as we all have our shortcomings and can be called an asshole at times. Some of her stories made me laugh and others make you cringe.
Thanks for the free book.

[Maribel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, it was the perfect book to read before bed. Just a nice stress free funny read.

Thank you Goodreads Giveaways for a free copy in exchange for my honest review!

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

My kind of book

I could relate to so many chapters, story lines, life experiences in this book. Its almost like she was writing my story.

[Janet McMillan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of essays on being an asshole

Some of the essays are excellent, some cringe worthy, most of the rest are good. It was a cute idea. Reminds me of a bathroom humor book.

[Anthony Jesse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Before I purchased this book, I had read some of Laffa’s articles on Medium and was familiar with her writing. So, I already knew it was going to be good and very funny. I wasn’t disappointed. I sat down to read, and once I started, I couldn’t put it down. I read it in a single sitting and literally laughed through the whole thing.

In addition to the humor, the book is well organized and thoughtful. It consists of a series of vignettes, arranged in six categories. Each vignette describes a faux pas committed by the author that just about anybody can relate to. And at the end of each there is a single-line moral to the story. These words of wisdom are as funny as the vignette they’re attached to, but they also offer somewhat serious advice on life. And that is the true mark of good comedy: It makes you laugh but also makes you think.

I highly recommend this little gem.

[M.A. Quigley · Rating 5 out of 5]

We all have life stories to tell about things that make us who we are today. Laffa admits she’s an extroverted introvert which comes through each story as she shares her thoughts and feelings. The author looks at life’s problems she encounters and whether she’s being an arsehole or not. There are morals that she’s learned at the end of each story. Let’s face it, some lessons are hard and others are easy. We’re only human and the trick is not to be too hard on ourselves. The book is funny, and at times thought-provoking discussing walking, eating dieting, dirt, cleaning, feeling validated, and many more topics that readers will be able to relate to in some shape or form.

[John McGinniss · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have followed Shirley on Medium.com (and Twitter) for some time. I always look forward to her latest post to see what new adventure she will take me on.

My girlfriend purchased the book, and we spent the afternoon at the beach, reading and laughing and OMGing through her stories.

She gives amusing insights into very relatable situations she has found herself in.

The best part is that you feel you are sitting across the table with your fun friend over coffee or wine and having a good time.

I look forward to her next round of adventures!

[Rmplift, Rachel Phillips · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a quick read of stories of the author, then a "moral of the story" at the end of them. I don't know what I was expecting but this wasn't it. It's OK. Book seemed more like a lecture. A cool way to go about it though.

I won this from the Goodreads Giveaway!

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unintentional a$$hole

...But it's okay if I do ot: True confessions of an unintentional a$$hole by Shirley Laffa is a short, humorous collection of silly situations in which the author has found herself and -as it turns out- MAY have behaved badly. Quick and amusing tead.

[Rachael Tyrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found Shirley Laffa's book hilarious and her observations spot on. Easy to read, the perfect book to escape the doldrums of daily life. I feel like there is a slight unintentional jerk in all of us but with Ms. Laffa's unique and poignant perspective, you know what, that's okay.

[Eric Rench · Rating 5 out of 5]

Novella Review by Freelance Writer and Book Reviewer Eric Rench, aka AVJoe, formerly known as Fiction Author Shay Mills.

I wrote this review for the author on May 11th, 2023. It was rated PG, so here is my updated—unrated review. “Muahaha!”

“Hello authors, book reviewer looking for a funny tale to spike my blood sugar!”

What in the fuck was I about to read? The title?! Why did she use dollar signs for the letter ‘S’? Oh, I know, Amazon wants to be family-friendly, yet they sell books riddled with romance blurring the lines of rated G to rated, “I think this is porn!” But, hey, we can’t let an author say, A'HOLE! (Please feel obliged to insert F@$%ING SARCASM).

Okay, down the rabbit hole, we go. The novella and the shit storm hitting me like an avalanche that was destroying a Swedish mountain resort caused my mind to jump start my cognitive juices. My mouth delivered a slow giggle to roaring laughter louder than Jim Carrey in any role — overacting in spontaneous combustion.

I can’t pass up a tale that tickles my funny bone in any genre. The vignettes provided by Shirley Laffa, masquerading as chapters, were engaging and chalked full of tidbits, with lessons at the end. To say I was surprised is an understatement.

Delivered in spades!
The Novella is told in random order based on the moral lesson from the author’s experience in her eclectic and hectic plethora of jobs and life’s way of saying, “WTF!” So, what do a server, an executive assistant, a flight attendant, and an educated marketing professional who doesn’t shy away from being an extrovert/introvert have in common? Why Shirley, of course.

Her storytelling felt like conversing with a friend at a familiar place, perhaps over drinks or at your favorite restaurant, as she opened up about her inner struggles and the mistakes that led to valuable lessons. She doesn’t boast about her errors; instead, she offers humorous and sincere insights that readers can relate to or find solace in.

Wow, that was well said. I just impressed myself. Okay, simply put, this novella was too damn funny.

In the mix of confusion at times, maybe because I am a guy, her experiences apply primarily to women (for example, the unpleasantness of flatulence in a public place while men high-five over the same broccoli-induced rupture of a distinct aroma that doesn’t smell like flowers). But, at the same time, other parts of her moral teachings (slap me in the bollocks) apply to any gender since we are all human beings. Some of us are monkeys flicking our feces at the passersby in a zoo.

My takeaway
Okay, my serious take on her, Novella. Shirley Laffa is a genius because of her ability to sit you down, make you laugh at yourself, and share her insecurities. It takes a seasoned author to come forth and laugh at the moments that define who they are.

After all, mistakes are learning lessons, and she points them out in various tones, beginning with a slice of cheese (smelly but delicious) and laughing at that.

I won’t spoil her chef-like wit or her ability to apply innocent remarks so that you say, “I relate!”

Bluntly put, “F$@%ing Bravo!”