Eat Bitter: A Memoir of Food, Family and Resilience

by Lydia Pang

A beautiful and fearless exploration of food and feelings – with bite – for fans of Crying in H Mart and Midnight Chicken.

‘Touching, absorbing and unflinching… shows you how to stomach life’s shit, celebrate the ugly, and keep going' Angela Hui

Eat bitter is a Chinese proverb meaning ‘endure hardship to taste sweetness.’ For Lydia Pang, it embodies the struggles of her Hakka ancestors, a persecuted Chinese ethnic group whose ingenuity shaped a food culture rooted in fermenting and foraging.

Pang reimagines eating bitter as a philosophy to confront her own burning out, testing her marriage, navigating fertility struggles and caring for a parent. Through eight recipes, she shares food as memory and the silly egg noodles her father cooked when her sister was ill, the bone broth she boiled in New York while homesick and courgettes grown in rural Wales as a gesture of reconnection.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Food, Aapi, China, Biography Memoir, Foodie

276 pages, Kindle Edition

Expected publication May 14, 2026

Reviews

[Mai H.]

Memoir March TBR

Non-fiction November TBR

📱 Thank you to NetGalley and HarperOne

[emily]

‘Despite not speaking Hakka, I speak this language of food and care fluently. Gunggung and Pawpaw taught me that food is the backbone of our social interactions and gatherings, and ultimately what binds us together through hardships and celebrations as a family. It's how we explain ourselves to each other. And making wontons with Dad actually brokered conversations we would have never had. It forced me into a state of introspection I'd been violently avoiding. I chose to keep the fact that we were moving back to the UK a secret from everyone. For my family, I packaged it as a wonderful, festive surprise, a TikTok reveal moment.’

This was not for me, unfortunately (had to skim the second half, unfortunately), but I can imagine someone who's completely unfamiliar with Chinese/Hakka culture appreciating it more. Parts of it felt 'Googled' to me, and parts of it felt overly romanticised (I mean, I don't know, but like, 'Hakka' people were literally massacred in the past (the way they were written about (or rather not written about enough?) in this book just didn't sit right with me, but it might work for a different reader, I'm just not the right one for it), and also I didn't like the tone as well. To put very simply (even though perhaps oversimplified) it was far 'too white' (in my personal opinion, of course). I came for the 'Hakka' bits, but I felt 'scammed', like it was just a marketing thing/tool or something (even though obviously that's not the case, I just didn't find what I was looking for, this felt too 'on the surface' for me, and also lacking substance/context, etc.). But to reiterate, if you're not familiar with Chinese/Hakka culture, you might really enjoy this. I think I just wanted more from this, 'expected too much' from it so to speak. In any case, this is after all a kind of 'memoir', so I'll leave this unrated. Hope it falls into more suitable/better hands. I'm sure I'm just an outlier, I can imagine other readers appreciating/liking it for more than I did.

Personally (instead of this), I'd recommend Shape of a Life: One Mathematician's Search for the Universe's Hidden Geometry & Delicious Hunger instead (even though the latter isn't written by someone with a Hakka background (I don't think)). And I would even go as far as to recommend The South and/or anything by Tash Aw in general (even though probably not 'Hakka' related as well, I just find his writing far more interesting (again, just my personal opinion). Or even Mourning a Breast by Xi Xi . And one last recommendation/book that I sort of wish I had re-read instead of reading this would be : Chang Yu-Ko's Whisper (while it's not got anything to do with 'Hakka' culture/people, it's just a far more interesting text to me personally).

[Violet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lydia Pang is so impressive- her studies, her career, and if you look her up and find pictures, she simply looks like the coolest person who ever lived. And she wrote a very good food memoir... one of my favourite types.of memoirs. Drawing on her Hakka heritage, she writes lovingly about her family, her eccentric parents, her grandparents recipes and growing up in Wales. Because she is also a millennial, there's a lot I recognised myself in, and I found the whole collection of essays very touching and well-written. The recipes (there's one at the start of each chapter) sound very appealing and I loved the writing, despite finding at times that it started to read a bit too much like self-help.

Free ARC sent by Netgalley.

[Jess]

Unrated as it's a nonfic.

"‘eat bitter’, which means to endure hardship before tasting sweetness."

This was a surprisingly good read for me! As much as I appreciate a nonfic, this was different to the usual types I'd usually sway towards so I didn't have my expectations too high but I really did enjoy this.

This is definitely one for foodies & those who might want a different take on a self help book. I found this to be deeply insightful & reflective; I think each chapter will resonate with different readers respectively, there's something for everyone & anyone to take from this which I think is great. I especially loved all the food metaphors dotted among each chapter as well as learning more about the Hakka & Chinese culture. Self help books are not my go to at all & though this felt like one, especially toward the end, the way this is written helped me enjoy it & I came away feeling inspired & unexpectedly moved whilst also wanting to read more of Pang's writing.

Admittedly, I only requested this for the cover (I'd also assumed it was a fiction somehow), but I'm glad to have enjoyed this way more than I'd anticipated & it's definitely a book I'd recommend to any nonfic reader.

Thank you Vintage & Netgalley for my free eARC!

[AJ✨ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the author for sending me an ARC in exchange for my honest review!

I both deeply admire and adamantly dislike this collections of short memoir essays.

The more I read, the more I asked myself the questions Lydia Pang was shoving down my throat. While this does border on "self-help" and sways a bit far from the edges of "foodoir" for my taste...by the end, I think I really understood.

Deep in my own belly, I understood what she was told her whole life. "Eat bitter" is akin to my own mother's mantra "Life sucks - deal with it." Pang expounds on that saying dealing with it is not learning from it. "Stew", "ferment" - all the words she uses to give herself and us permission to sit in the sad, uncomfortable and painful. I get it, Lydia - a meal is better (dare we say LIFE is better?) when it hits all the taste buds and all the sensory cells are firing. Who wants a flat, one note, overly sweet cake (life?) anyway?

What I didn't like? The air of arrogance that permeates the whole text. Even by the end when I feel the most connected to her. She opens up about her struggle with fertility and at my age, it's something that I am unendingly empathetic toward. I also wanted more food! There's a lot of food descriptive words used ("smelly", "chewy", "sinewy", "sugary") but I wanted a little bit more of the actual recipe in her work. She was overly repetitive at times - not in the melodic, artistic way. In that arrogant way - like she just wanted to hear herself keep talking, keep on sounding profound. Like she was trying a bit hard. I think there's room to cut sentences and paragraphs from this work without any loss of structure, beauty and detail.

Major dislike? She forced me to look at myself and reflect in a way that was really fucking hard and I wasn't fully ready for. It's the same reason I came to admire this work. Fuck you Lydia Pang, for making me cry. Thank you Lydia Pang, for encouraging me to "simmer" and "congeal". I felt better in the morning.

[Patricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author LYDIA PANG is a creative influencer who has worked at advertising and fashion agencies, eventually establishing her own business. This memoir boldly and bravely tells the story of her journey. She says "Guts are the only true ingredient for creativity." Having read "EAT BITTER," I'd say she is entitled to make that claim.

Her heritage comes from Hakka Chinese who moved to Wales, where she grew up. Later, her life, education, and work took her to New York City, Portland, Oregon, London, and back to Wales. Therefore, she contended with being seen as different, which often required some adjustments . And she did indeed adjust, making the most of it. Her appearance and fashion sense were stunningly GOTH. She said, "I simply wasn't built to carry any embarrassment about our differences; instead, I believed that being different was significantly cooler than being the same as everyone else." Furthermore, she said, "Embracing the contradictions of your own identity rather than seeking to flatten them will strengthen you when you have to stand up for yourself, to evolve or create."
I include these comments of hers because I think they can significantly inspire her readers and they can learn from her.

The title is explained along with Hakka philosophy regarding life's ups and downs; eating the bitter and then reaping the ensuing sweetness that comes along to counter act it. Chapters are preceded by a recipe to set the theme, but it's not a cookbook.

I would like to thank the publisher, HARPER ONE, for the uncorrected proof. The book will be available in May. I think it would be a good choice for a book group.

[lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book wants desperately to be Crying
In H Mart. It comes close, especially with the emotion close to the surface that doesn’t quite go much deeper. However, there’s not much more than some brief mentions of things the author has gone through in life that were hard, kinda. I wanted to hear more about her sister and her mother (other than they were smart and badass) and her grandparents (other than they were good cooks and showed their love through food). I loved the little mentions of Hakka history. I wish there was more.

Also, unlike Crying in H Mart, this book was very preachy. Much of it read like a self help book. I kept skipping over the paragraphs that lectured on bonds of family and ways to get through the hard times because it became annoying. I truly do not care what the author’s opinions are for ways to have a successful divorce. It seemed to get a little better as the book went on, but it never lost that self help edge.

Mostly I was frustrated by the vignettes that Lydia Pang seemed to think were so deep and sad, so raw and visceral. She never, ever went deep enough to give that feeling although I’m sure they felt that way to her. It seemed like she was trying too hard to find a lesson for the things that happened to her, that she was desperate to learn something from the pain she endured. But I didn’t feel that there was anything to “learn” about her hard experiences. It would have been enough to just read about them if she had written well enough. I didn’t need the lesson.
Honestly read Tastes Like War or even Crying in H Mart. Leave this one for later.

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bitter by Lydia Pang explores the Chinese concept of “eating bitter” and what that means in the context of food, memory, and ancestry. It looks at the importance of food,  food gestures, and how these shape who we are.

This book explores Hakka Chinese and their history, which I was pleased about, as I’ve read many books about China and food over the years, and this added to my knowledge.   I enjoyed  reading about the creative, distinct ways of cooking that are embedded in Hakka ancestry, not just as recipes but in highlighting the healing power of food. It encouraged me to think about my own nostalgic dishes and how I eat as well as what I return to and why.

Pang's writing is self-aware and emotionally attuned. Intelligent, measured, and considerate. Elegantly written and thoughtfully structured, with eight recipes at the start of each chapter, which I appreciated.

A reflective book about endurance, rituals, and the quiet power of food, which I wholeheartedly recommend.  I received a free advance review copy from NetGalley, and this is my honest review.

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an eviscerating, visceral, pungent read - all adjectives that I’m sure Pang would approve of! I gulped this down in 2 sittings: it was too good to savour slowly, so good that I’ll be doing a re-read. So much resonated with me and inspired me, not least the bravery of the author in recognising that their philosophy for life - the titular ‘eat bitter’ - required fine-tuning. The reflections on Welsh culture and dual heritage reminded me of Angela Hui’s Takeaway: Stories from a Childhood Behind the Counter (which I also enjoyed), but Pang moves beyond Wales in her expansive odyssey across continents and life stages. I wish I could taste the recipes described here, even though (or because) they are so unique to the author’s family table. Best read with a comforting congee set to warm in the rice cooker.

[Josephine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This might be my favourite book of the year so far. The author examines the Chinese proverb “eat bitter” meaning “ensure hardship to taste sweetness.” Using her own experiences growing up and living with her mixed Chinese/Welsh family, and, crucially, detailing 8 recipes, she explores food and the act of cooking as medicine. This might make it sound like any self help book but it is not. The author is wonderful at weaving in her own personal stories while looking at how they can be applied to the philosophy. It is brutally honest, extremely relatable and hopeful without providing all the answers. And I would love to try some of the recipes! Overall, I found it incredibly moving and will be both recommending it to and buying it for friends.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read this book.

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Hakka culture, “eating bitter” means to endure pain alongside sweetness, in both food and life. It's very much like the "Hillel sandwich" in the Passover Seder, where participants combine bitter herbs (like parsley or horseradish) and sweet charoset (typically a mix of apples, nuts, and sweet wine). The contrast is what makes it interesting; the sweetness makes the bitter more palatable.
In Lydia Pang's memoir, we learn about her Hakka culture, her Welsh upbringing, and her self-described "oddball" family. There are a few core recipes included, one or two that seem eminently doable to the weekend chef, and the rest I can't imagine myself ever attempting. At times, it's a confessional: how food saved her from burning out in her career, saved her marriage (eventually), and helped ease her infertility issues. It's all out on the page, admirably so. 3.8 rounded up. Well narrated by the author.
My thanks to @LydiaPang, @HarperAudio, and #NetGalley for early access to the audiobook of #EatBitter for review purposes. Publication date: 19 May 2026.

[Katy Wheatley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Eat Bitter is the Hakka Chinese principle of enduring hardship in order to celebrate sweetness when it comes. Lydia Pang uses this as a way to look at key events and relationships in her life and attempt to piece together understanding, acceptance and some kind of roadmap for the future. Each chapter starts with a recipe that encapsulates a time or experience for her and she then unpacks and meditates on how she worked through the bitter, difficult elements in that chapter of her life and came to understand them and use them going forward. She embraces and expounds on the knotty, unpalatable complexities of life and is at times unnervingly frank about her experiences which give this book a darkly edgy feel which is entirely in keeping with the themes and central idea of it.

[Linda Foster · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lydia Pang’s heritage is in the Hakka culture, a persecuted Han Chinese sub-ethnic group, with a rich culinary tradition. The Hakka food culture is robust, savoury and aromatic, rooted in the resourcefulness and resilient nature of the Hakka people. Lydia embodies her culture and cuisine whole-heartedly in this memoir with her eight food choices. There’s a recipe at the start of each chapter which is integral to the story Lydia recounts. She highlights the food as she deals with sadness, trauma and all the difficulties and complexities of life. Her grandparents, her relationship with them, and the food that they cooked was immensely important to her.
“Eating bitter” means enduring hardship to appreciate future sweetness. A thought-provoking memoir.

[Em · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lydia Pang is a very cool woman. I googled her after I read this and came across her instagram.

It's fascinating to read of just how much food can influence a person and their culture when I myself am not a food driven person at all. And I guess that's the whole idea. You don't have to be driven by food for it to have a long lasting impact on various areas of your life. It was very bittersweet in places but delightful to learn about Lydia and her ancestry and how food has changed the way she perceived hardship.

It does get a little preachy at times though and that's my only negative feeling. I don't want to be preached at when I read a memoir; I just want to learn.

Thank you to netgalley and the publisher.

[Jane Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I actually didn’t realise that this was non-fiction when it was offered to me as an ARC. I took awhile to read it because I was dipping in and out of it but it was quite appropriate for that. It felt like returning to one of those long read articles in the Guardian - you’re still interested in the topic but you don’t need to be completely locked into a narrative flow.

I did like the concept of eating bitter, though I am definitely guilty of the opposite - it’s quite eye-opening when you realise that we are all conditioned to eat conveniently and cook with a minimum of attention, using air fryers, microwaves and crockpots to do the work for us so we don’t have to engage until we eat.

This isn’t food porn but it will make you hungry for food and connection.

[wade · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title of the book means "endure hardship to taste sweetness" and uses Haiki family recipes to give example of how this statement is true in her life. The good side of the book is it emphasizes taking time and slowing down in your life, exalting members of your family and tradition, consistency and loyalty as a bulwark to a good life. On the downside, Pang is pretty full of herself and struggles to show herself a funny, wild and creative rebel which she is not. Also, I can't believe how perfect her family is.

[Always Reading Between The Wines · Rating 4 out of 5]

Eat Bitter by Lydia Pang
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Pang uses recipes and the ingrained familiarity of food and eating to illustate her memoir and her family's Hakka cultural heritage, including the persecution that has been faced by the Hakka community. This was an immersive and educational read, which showed thw links between not only identity, cultural and food; but also between the comfort of food and those complex, difficult and trying times in life. I love how Pang discussed the struggles she had faced and the way food and cooking had been a comfort to her at these times.

[LX · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you so much for a proof!

4.25!I wasn't sure what was happening when I went into this but the way this just felt relatable at times, homely when talking about family the good and the bad parts.

You can relate to it or not, it can help you feel deeply or not or just make you think and feel more about life and making the most of things even if they don't go the way you planned.

What got me was the last like paragraph, mainly the last line. And that's damn right to that and I needed to read that and just let it simmer with me for a while.

[Jen G · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting premise and strong food writing, but it fell flat for me due to the self-helpy/preachy vibe. I also got the sense that the author was depicting how she wanted to be perceived rather than a true story of her real self. It felt too carefully curated to portray a certain image/style than an honest memoir. Hakka culture is fascinating and I would like to learn more about it. Thanks to NetGalley and Harper for the eARC.

[Kirst · Rating 4 out of 5]

Went in blind reading this. Fairly surprised by the depth of the authors experiences and her emotions. As a woman who is always exploring grief and themes around transformation i enjoyed the reflection this book brought me.

[JXR · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gorgeous memoir with some superb plotting and fantastic vibes. it's quite interesting, and I'd definitely recommend it. 5 stars. tysm for the arc.

[Mob · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing