The Maidenheads: A Novel

by Benny B. Peterson

A bighearted debut novel about queer yearning, indie musicians, and bushwacking a thorny path back to your first love

Jamie is bad at endings, which is why she's stuck at a dead-end Baltimore newspaper job, continuing to have break-up sex with her first-ever hetero partner, and haunted by the what-ifs of her ex-girlfriend Mari—a charismatic and brilliant musician—and their former band together, the Maidenheads. Since they (and their band) broke up a decade ago, Jamie hasn't been able to sing.

Then an unexpected opportunity to perform in DC with Mari's successful new band arises, and Jamie jumps at it. What begins as a return to music becomes a reckoning—with the weight of unfinished love, the voice she long buried, and her own complicated past. But as Jamie channels more of her energy into the band, other threads in her life begin to fray, and she must make some urgent choices about her future.

Electric, spine-tingling, and filled to the brim with tenderness and honesty, The Maidenheads is a novel about the tenacity of first love, the life-changing power of music, and the difficult, necessary work of becoming yourself.

Genres: Fiction, LGBT, Romance, Queer, Contemporary, Adult, Lesbian

336 pages, Hardcover

Expected publication May 26, 2026

Reviews

[Ellen Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a burst of nostalgia for me and not just from the early 2000s chapters, but more so with the theme of first love and coming of age. Jamie’s character is awkward at times but relatable and endearing. Her relationship issues, career woes, and past regrets are something every reader can relate to. And when he ex Mari is in town with her band and they come face to face and have to grapple with their past. I felt so many emotions as I read from fear and frustration to hope and admiration. This is a book I’ll think of for years to come. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Maria Viale · Rating 4 out of 5]

*Before I get into the review, I want to make your I'm not misgendering the main character - there were times were it felt implied that she was nonbinary, but I don’t think her pronouns were addressed. If I’m incorrect in my assumptions, please accept my apology, I’m happy to go back and edit the review with the correct pronounce. This story also has really heavy topics and themes, so it's important to check your triggers before diving in.

In The Maidenheads, we follow Jamie as she finds out she's pregnant with her ex-boyfriend's baby.
Jamie is a copyeditor for a magazine, and has lingering feelings from the band she was in her teenage years - but it feels like she's more hung up on her girlfriend at the time, Mari. For a long time while reading this book, I thought it was the story of how two queer people fall in love through their love for music - the obsession with how great they are together when they play and create music together. But it feels more like the music is just an instrument used to help Jamie understand herself and her trauma and attachments - not necessarily her love for music, but how her love for music feels tied to her identity.

Mari and Jamie were in a band called the Maidenheads that forms a little bit of a cult-classic following. These characters are very flawed and very honest and very selfish in their own way - even the protagonist, Jamie. Everything she does is for Mari, but even that feels very selfish. It feels like an obsession and a hyper-fixation, and a desperate need to be everything for Mari, to exist for her and for what she needs from Jamie. It all stems from a very honest feeling of not belonging. You can see as the story progresses that the only time Jamie has felt "right" is when she is with Mari and/or performing with her.

This isn't necessarily a love story - the entire time that Jamie and Mari start to rekindle their relationship, as a reader, you're waiting for the other shoe to drop. You're able to pick up on these very toxic tendencies between the two characters, and at times, they are both very very frustrating and unlikeable. A lot of the time, I was worried that this book was going to lack in the completion, but the resolution and the end felt properly paced and satisfying, giving not only Jamie, but Mari, a conclusion that made sense and redeemed them both. It felt like Jamie was able to heal and understand this unhealthy attachment to Mari, understand how essential it was to find a rhythm in her own life that brought her peace and joy.

Overall, I thought it was a really unique and really honest story - at times a little frustrating, but I have so much appreciation for the rawness and realness of the story and characters, the courage in the telling of this story.

[hon · Rating 5 out of 5]

We meet Jamie in her late twenties but, through flashbacks, are able to follow her from her young teens. When we first see Jamie in her youth, her parents have just divorced, she’s moved to her mums new house in the city—where her mum is ready for her Sex In the City era—she’s lost touch with all her old friends and she is a total outsider in her new school, with absolutely no friends. That is, until she meets Mari in gym class. Mari is an unmistakable outsider too, with her imperfect skin, shaggy black hair, strange personality and Georgian accent (Georgia the country, not the city). Jamie isn’t sure about Mari, but isn’t given much choice when Mari sits next to her on the bus and asks what music she’s listening to and if she wants to stay on the school bus to come to her house. Jamie finds Mari a little off putting at first, but Mari is persistent and unrelenting. Their friendship finally begins when Mari invites herself over to Jamie’s and they spend hours listening to music together. We follow them through their teens, witnessing awkward first kisses, the feeling of a first relationship and their conjoined love of music. When Mari hears Jamie’s voice for the first time and Jamie finds out Mari can play piano, it’s only a matter of time before they end up doing songs together. This is how The Maidenheads are formed and at seventeen years old they gain minor fame when Mari writes a song about their peer, Emmy, committing suicide over a boy and are discovered at a gig by someone working on an upcoming thriller movie who wants their song “Forgotten” and them to play in a scene. The movie ends up being originally hated for hurtful lesbian stereotypes, but it continues to propel them forward. Ten years later, Jamie is recently broken up with her long-term boyfriend and working at a journalling agency when she ends up at a Les Somnambules concert, Mari’s new band. Mari, who she’s been separated from for a decade. When she meets Mari again for the first time in years, her life turns upside down. We follow Jamie while she struggles with having her first (and possibly only) love back in her life, wanting to play music, her dad’s new family and all the other hardships that comes with life.

How to even begin with this book? I’m not sure if I even have the words to do it justice, or if any words in the world really could. This is a phenomenal debut novel, so much so that I had to double check if it actually was one. Above anything else, this book is emotional, it’s honest, it’s raw. It’s unapologetically gritty and at times leaves a bad taste in your mouth, except you can’t help but ask for more and more and more. The younger scenes with Jamie and Mari felt like a punch to the gut. It captured perfectly the feeling of realising you have a crush for the first time on a girl—on your friend. It’s terrifying, exciting, feels a little wrong but, fuck it, because it’s amazing too, you know? It also made me realise and come to terms with my possible internalised homophobia, which I always thought could never have been me and this book really does hit you that deeply, may make you realise things about yourself that you hadn’t before. It’s rawness and emotion I believe really does touch you in a way that it’s impossible to ignore what feelings it may dredge up.

The love story—if you can truly call it that—in this book is all consuming, both for the characters and, in my case at least, the reader. Without giving too much away, I really found myself both hating and loving the characters—sometimes simultaneously. One moment I adored them and couldn’t get enough, and the next I was mad at them and couldn’t believe the things they had said or done. But either way, I still couldn’t get enough. The writing in this book is wonderful, and really my only complaint is that the book had to end at all. I couldn’t recommend this book enough to literally anyone—whether you’re straight or gay, whether romance is normally your thing, it doesn’t matter. This is a book that stays with you, and I truly think everyone should give it a chance to do so.

Thank you to Benny B. Peterson, Dutton and Netgalley for this ARC in return for an honest review!

[Georgina Krotje · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️I adored this debut, and was so impressed with the characters and writing style. It was nostalgic, adoring and anxious. I was on the edge of my seat at times! For music fans, for people who cast rose coloured lenses of their first loves, for obsession, for identity and people who appreciate difficult relationships I highly recommend. Thank you Dutton Books for this advanced reader copy!

[Liralen]

4 stars; review to come May 2026

[bailey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very gripping, filled with queer yearning, nostalgia, and emotional intensity. This will be an extra fun read for music fans, especially any that happen to be familiar with the music scene in DC. I loved seeing the journey our main character went on, even when she was frustrating at times. It made me want to sing, hug my baby, and call my mom.

This book would pair well with “Idlewild” by James Frankie Thomas; “Interesting Facts About Space” by Emily Austin; and “Margo’s Got Money Troubles” by Rufi Thorpe.

I read a digital ARC from NetGalley.

[Crista Falco · Rating 5 out of 5]

So when I read the synopsis of this book a few words stuck out to me. Namely: queer, Baltimore, DC, and punk music. Considering those four words quite literally describe me I knew I had to read this one, and I am happy to report this book did not disappoint.
I love any author who can truly capture sapphic yearning and how all encompassing this kind of love can be, especially at a young age. Peterson gets it. I honestly don’t have an eloquent way of putting how this book made me feel reading it. I just felt seen.

I especially loved the setting of the punk scene in DC and Baltimore because (not to dox myself), but this is where I grew up so seeing these places highlighted with an obvious reverence truly warmed my heart.

I of course loved the characters. They were so real I couldn’t help but root for them all. I tend to struggle with books based around bands because you can only say so much to invoke music without hearing the actual music the author is referring to. However, I feel as if Peterson easily conquered that obstacle and I was able to understand exactly what kind of music The Maidenheads were supposed to invoke.

This book is truly a love letter to the queer music scene, and it was everything I hoped it was when I picked it up. I will be recommending this one to anyone who will listen and I will definitely be looking forward to future releases from this author!

[Joan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Review of Uncorrected Digital Galley

After two years of living together, Jamie Cain has moved out of Peter’s home. But their relationship continues sporadically with Peter coming to Jamie’ apartment once or twice a week.

Ten years ago, she’d been part of a musical group, the Maidenheads; now Jamie works as an editor at the “Baltimore Bugle.” The breakup of the group had also been Jamie’s breakup with her girlfriend, Mari Dvali.

Mari was her first love; Peter, her first male lover.

And now, she’s discovered that she is pregnant.

=========

The story moves between the present day and the past [to provide the necessary backstory]. The focus of the story is on self-discovery and on relationships.

Jamie [the main character here] is sometimes difficult to like; her choices are often likely to leave readers puzzled. Nevertheless, readers are likely to empathize with her struggles.

The music focus is informative and interesting; the plot twists and turns in some unexpected ways. Readers who enjoy learning about music will find much to appreciate here.

I received a free copy of this eBook from Dutton and NetGalley and am voluntarily leaving this review.
#TheMaidenheads #NetGalley

[Victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is yet another book that I would probably not have picked up on my own. But I am so glad I agreed to read it because I truly enjoyed it.

This is a coming-of-age tale on a different timeline because while many people have their lives mostly figured out by the time they graduate from high school/college, it takes Jamie the next decade to finally realize who she is as a person.

A really bad break up with her first girlfriend, Mari, as high school ends, leaves Jamie stuck in such a deep rut that she doesn’t really function well at anything. And, most importantly, as the vocalist for the band she was in with Mari, The Maidenheads, she can no longer sing. But a second chance with singing, and with Mari, changes all that but there are plenty of twists and reconnoitering along the way.

Personally, I was way too preoccupied during the time this book takes place (raising a child, starting a church) that I was unfamiliar with a lot of the music. But having been a staff writer for a daily newspaper, lifestyle editor at another, and finally editor at a small every-other-week tabloid, I could really relate to that aspect of Jamie’s life.

All the characters and their lives seemed very real.

[Ella · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Dutton for the eARC. 4.5 stars!

The Maidenheads follows Jamie, who’s stuck at a small paper and still internally wrecked by a breakup they’ve been pretending they moved on from. When they end up back around their ex’s new band—the project their ex built after Jamie bailed on their old one—everything they’ve been avoiding about the breakup, their Queerness, and their own identity hits at once.

Jamie is not written to be likable, and they are an absolute mess for most of the book, but it works. Peterson lets them be insecure, avoidant, petty, unsure about gender, unsure about desire—all the real ways people behave when they’re not totally comfortable in their own skin.

The music side isn’t glamorous at all. It’s loud punk shows, weird band dynamics, and having to stand next to people who also dated your ex—while your ex is still onstage with you. It’s not some huge comeback arc; it’s just what forces Jamie to actually deal with themself.

Definitely more literary fiction than romance—no neat reunion, no clean wrap-up—just someone trying (and failing, and trying again) to figure themselves out.

Really strong debut. I liked it a lot.

[Olivia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really loved the nostalgia of reading about the 2000s indie music scene! Even though I was born in 2002 when the high school timeline takes place, I listen to a lot of music from that time so loved getting all of the references to fugazi and Elliott smith and the other bands that shaped the maidenheads sound. Mari was kind of insufferable at times and but the author really captured the allure of yearning for your first toxic ex. The family dynamics shifting throughout the book and the relationship between both Jim (Jamie) and her father accepting and opening up to each other about their own queer identities after so many years of distance was really beautiful to read. I also loved the casual way Jim accepted his own gender identity throughout the book and it was not made a huge deal, just was overall accepted. 4 stars instead of 5 only because I suffer from a debilitating fear of being pregnant and have a hard time reading books where the main character is. Overall thought this was such a fun debut novel though and loved this book! Will be looking forward to reading more by Benny! thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC🫶🏻🫶🏻

[Danna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jamie Cain is a journalist at a low-budget music paper. Her experience as an adolescent rockstar wasn’t a requirement of the job, but it did help Jamie land the role. When we meet Jamie, she’s almost 30 and floundering. Despite spending a lot of her life as queer, Jamie has recently broke up from a longterm heterosexual relationship.

In a moment of weakness of self-inflicted confusion, Jamie decides to attend the show of her ex-girlfriend’s new band, The Somnambules. To Jamie’s surprise, her ex, Mari, is excited to see her. Jamie is quickly swept up in a whirlwind romance that seems to be the answer to all her problems, including the overwhelming guilt she’s held onto since Jamie and Mari broke up in high school.

Overall, The Maidenheads was good. At times, Jamie’s self-pity wore at me, but it seemed largely realistic. The relationship between Jamie and Mari was overwhelming and bad, even with its sweeter moments. I didn’t particularly like most of the characters, but it didn’t get in the way of my enjoyment of the book. Recommended.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. 3.5 stars rounded up.

[nathan · Rating 2 out of 5]

major thanks to Dutton and NetGalley for the arc in exchange for my honest thoughts:

".. 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳. 𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩."

butch babes with bushes out for kate bush. the local indie scene set in dc with earnestness, but beyond the feel-good, it’s too self contained to amount to anything, and for way too long.

actually, it behooves me that benny even teaches on university campuses as this lacks any literary merit. all the work aims to do is to reflect what feels like pages ripped from diary entries. mere scenes that escalate plot and for plot’s sake, to a very obvious end: perhaps we aren’t meant to be with who’s of our loves, but to live through what and when in mere fantasy. the work itself lacks any literary merit, seems like one big mood piece better executed in an atmospheric hulu mini-series with its budget aimed to support the awakenings of indie-alt music that you can later listen to in a spotify playlist, but other than that, there’s very little here, as the quotation above literally sums up the entire book.

in short, benny should’ve put out their playlist for this book than the book itself lol

[Stacy40pages · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Maidenheads by Benny B Peterson. Thanks to @duttonbooks for the gifted copy ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Jamie is in an odd place with her Baltimore newspaper job she doesn’t really like and hooking up with her ex, her first hetero partner. She is haunted by her ex-girlfriend Mari and their ex-band, The Maidenheads. When she gets a chance to perform with Mari’s new band, she jumps on it.

This book was a true hit of nostalgia for me, especially since it takes place in my area. I recognized so many places; one I was at last month- 9:30 Club, and one a long lost memory from my youth- Commander Salamander. This story was aching with new age angst and two individuals who had a hard time letting go of each other, despite their rough past history. The evolution of the story and ending were pretty genuine and seemed true to life.

“I was abnormal, that was clear. But I also knew abnormality was a kind of freedom. Perhaps if I was abnormal, the rules didn’t apply to me. Perhaps I could wear what I wanted to wear, listen to what I wanted to, form my own opinions.”

Read if you like:
-Music fiction
-Queer romance
-2000’s settings

The Maidenheads comes out 5/26.

[em · Rating 3 out of 5]

a messy, gay, music-filled book.

a compelling cast of characters, but didn’t find myself fully invested in any one relationship or person. however, there was a lot i liked that the author did in terms of characterization for their characters, such as the awareness & exploration of certain topics like sexuality, abortion, body image, pregnancy, etc. there was a lot of great, real, humanly raw content here that was refreshing to read about instead of an overly perfect world often depicted in contemporary literature.

the writing style kept me interested, but also didn’t add anything to the story. plot is where my atrophy set in while reading because… nothing really happens. it was a lot of character conflict, but often the same conflict happened multiple times. i wish the book was more plot driven (or at least more experimental) to add another, more interesting element for the reader.

recommend this one if you like a band/music premise, but not sure it was outstanding in other aspects. thanks to net galley for the advanced readers copy in exchange for my honest review!

[Nina · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Maidenheads follows Jamie, who is working at a small magazine in Baltimore, and has just ended her first relationship with a guy. As a teen, she was one part of the queer duo, The Maidenheads. Jamie decides to attend a concert where her ex-girlfriend and band partner's new band, The Somnambules, is playing. Mari is excited to see her and they both quickly get swept up in a new romance and band partnership as Jamie joins her band temporarily.

This book was good at times and not so good at other times. Jamie's character was very authentic and I think her self-doubt and self-pity made her more relatable and also more insufferable. Her relationship with Mari was always toxic back in high school and in the present time. It was overwhelming to read at times because of how they both seemed so intertwined and reliant on each other for assurance. Overall, I would recommend this book especially for those who love music.

[Firetruckmama · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received an eARC of this book from NetGalley and the publisher, for which I thank them.

“The Maidenheads” is a debut novel by Benny Peterson. This book’s difficult for me to review because on one hand I really liked the parts about the band and music … but I really disliked the main characters. Granted, they’re not easy characters to like in general, but I also kept waiting for something - anything - to happen where they’d engage their brains and, shocking, think about their actions before having a moment of “gee, that was a bad decision” later down the road. I also felt a bit disconnected from this book - there’s character conflicts but the plot doesn’t always move forward with those conflicts. If you like books about bands and music, along with coming of age and queer stories, this book may be up your alley.

[Bianca Palmisano · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Maidenheads threads a needle few books do: crafting an antihero that I both hate and am compelled by in the first few pages. This is a queer crash-out novel, a love song to our most toxic ex, the one we can never truly detangle from our sense of self.

At 336 pages, The Maidenheads reads astonishingly fast, never dragging and peppered with lyrical descriptions of the euphoria of performing. I've read it twice, knew how it ended, and still found myself leaning forward into the plot, cheering on the growth and self love the main character, Jamie, wrestles with deserving.

The book is a triumph: a tribute to queerness, to DC punk, to dirty sex, to gender outlaws, and all the messy ways we craft our futures.

[Venneh · Rating 4 out of 5]

This feels like a very specific kind of early '00s indie film, the kind I would've watched in high school and would've made my personality around, possibly. This is a story about two messy young queer girls and the band they make in their high school years, and their reunion decades down the line as one of them deals with the early stages of pregnancy from a mid ex, and the other deals with major relationship drama and manipulation issues. It's a wild ride full of questionable, passionate choices and a pretty solid soundtrack. Like I said, it's a very specific kind of vibe that I would've ate up when I was younger, doesn't quite hold up for me in my 30s, but is still a solid read, and a good debut for Peterson. Worth a read in May!

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you, Dutton, for providing the copy of The Maidenheads by Benny B. Peterson. I love books about aspiring musicians, and the performances and band were my favorite parts of the book. Jamie and Mari were great in the past, but in the present, they were less interesting. I kept waiting for something to happen, something earthshaking, that would shock Jamie out of her apathy. I hated how she just took what she thought was easiest and couldn't make a decision based on sound reasoning. This book wasn’t really for me, and the conclusion and the actions leading up to it felt abrupt and not satisfying. Readers who can identify with the ending will love this book! 3 stars

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Debut novel The Maidenheads, by Benny Peterson brings first loves, angst, confusion, queer yearning, musical nostalgia and so much more.
Following Jamie and Mari throughout their teen love to their tumultuous present love brings back all the memories of high school romance and first time flirtings. The struggles of being in a band and how demanding it is of everyone. The novel also shows how to navigate through difficult relationships and time.

There are a few triggers in this book and I'm not recalling a trigger warning page, so just be careful if abortions or cheating is a trigger.

Lovely debut novel.

[Jules · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Maidenheads captures the vortex of messy first love.

Jamie is a character we can all relate to at some point in our lives, maybe before therapy and some perspective. Mari is written with experience. The self-serving, chaos wrapped in a creative, talented, and irresistible beauty that destroys all common sense.
Ahh, we’ve all been had by that combo.
The Maidenheads is a trip to the isolating place where the past holds too tight, the present feels impossible, and the future is a privilege we’ve not yet dared to hope for.

Thanks to NetGalley and Dutton for the ARC!

[Elena Hect · Rating 2 out of 5]

[e-ARC received from NetGalley February 2026]

There are some stories that are messy, painful, and raw in a way that feels lived-in. Benny Peterson, whatever your story is, I hope you've healed. Seeing Jamie -Jim - finally, finally picking herself up was cathartic, and the prose carried occasional brilliance about desire, bodies and hunger; but the rest was so bleakly pained and downwards spiraling I almost put this book down like four times. I don't think it's for me.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Maidenheads is boiling with nostalgia, emotional intensity and queer yearning.

This novel is as gripping as it's loud like a punk show.

The Maidenheads goes to that place inside where the past holds too tight and the present feels impossible. A familiar feeling for us all in some way.

This is a strong debut that I enjoyed very much.

Many thanks to Edelweiss+ and Dutton for the DRC in exchange for my honest opinion.

[savannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been chewing on this book for months now. reading it felt like eating a jolly rancher—I’d let it roll around in my mouth, sucking the flavor from it as hard as I could, and yet it remained delicious. anyone can tell that this story was written by a queer person, for queer people. how special. and the prose? so stunning, and that’s ultimately what made me keep coming back for more. toxic yuri with a side of gender fuckery, actually executed well? its a dream come true!

[Bee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got the opportunity to read The Maidenheads as an ARC through NetGalley.

Writing style was great; story was just not necessarily what I thought it would be based on the summary. I would definitely still read something else by the author.

CW:
homophobia
biphobia
drinking/drugs
unplanned pregnancy
abortion
sexual assault
toxic relationship dynamics

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for the advanced copy for my honest review. Jamie was a fascinating character to follow. Seeing her story unfold brought back nostalgia from back in the day being a teenager and how being an adult sometimes that past can show back up in the present. I would definitely read from this author again!

[Ginny · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant and beautiful queer love story (but not a love story in the way you’d expect) that will especially touch people with connections to D.C. and Baltimore (the 9:30 Club is a character in its own right in this novel). Absolutely devoured this! My thanks to the author for the ARC, can’t wait for this story to get into the hands of eager queers everywhere

[mimi · Rating 3 out of 5]

More so a 3.5!

It’s always refreshing reading queer stories from queer voices.

The beginning turned me off a bit, but once the characters stopped being afraid of the word “bisexual,” I actually fell into it.

I hated the main character & their love interests. But it was, again, a refreshing read. Especially since my lesbian identity and experience does not look like any of the characters.

[JXR · Rating 5 out of 5]

phenomenal and well-written book that dives into the indie music scene and handles its characters really well. 5 stars. tysm for the arc.