Emma was happy with her life. Sure it wasn't normal, but she wasn't built for normal. As a train-sexual, yes those kind of trains, her hometown island was paradise. Full of railways and trains that the locals didn't pay much attention to, she was usually free to not so discretely indulge in her urges while riding the rails.
Except now that her ex-boyfriend’s car company is threatened to rip up the tracks and destroy the trains, Emma’s at risk of losing far more than just reliable transportation.
If she wants to save the trains, she'll have to open her heart a little and ask for help. Lucky for her, she caught the attention of a trio even more determined to save the rails than she is…the trains.
Railed is a spicy why-cho-cho-choose romance between a woman and her three train shifters (f,m,x) full of train puns and trains arriving...loudly.
Zane E Stori (she/her) is a chaos bisexual who lives for a good pun. Zane has never met a bit she wouldn't commit to. Her entire goal as an author is to make you tilt your head in confusion and ask yourself and others why these books exist. Packed full of puns and queer joy, Zane hopes her stories bring a little bit of humor and queer joy back into the world.
🚂I Came for the Sound Effects (Was the pun intended? you'll never know) So I got on board by the promise of sound effects, and the audio seriously made this entire experience like 10x more fun. 😂 I almost want to wish this was a longer trip, but I also know it was long enough for what we had. Got to giggle about this with my only Isabelle 3.5⭐
✨A Little Bit of Everything This delivered on plot, characters, and smut all in a short novella. Resolutions made sense and were actually quite well paced. I do wish maybe we had one more spicy scene, but I can survive. The characters are all so unique, although you don’t really get in deep. Don’t get the wrong idea though hahaha. 👀 I wish we got some Jamie POV, but I guess it tracks for his personality.
🔊GIVE ME MORE SOUND EFFECTS 🚂 I do wish the audio had more sound effects. They were literally carrying me and giving me such a high, and I was giggling and kicking my feet at every single one. Honestly, every sound effect was basically a tiny serotonin delivery. 😂🎧 The narrators did a great job portraying the different characters and really keeping this light and engaging and not cringey at all. I also wanted to know more about the mechanics going on and in.
🚆Commitment to the Bit I also appreciate the author’s commitment to the bit with all the contextual words that are related to the train culture themselves. I love when a book commits to its gimmick.
💌 Thank you NetGalley and Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op for the ALC. It was a delight. 📖
-- Pre-read: 🎧I was secretly begging for this to have sound effects and IT DOES!!! 🚂🚅🛤️ Now I am equally living and dying for this!
You all can thank Youssra for that opener 🤣 But this was actually SO FUN! There were obviously a ton of train puns, and the commitment to the bit was admirable. For being such a short listen, the plot flowed really well, and there was not nearly as much train sex as I was expecting from the blurb 😂 Everything (and everyone) came together perfectly 🤪 The narration was excellent as well! I was crying with laughter from the sound effects in the audio, and it really just made the whole experience better. I honestly wish there were even more. My one wish was for the moans to be train whistles though, and I am thrilled to say I was not disappointed 🚂 Truly an unforgettable ride 😂🤭
Thank you NetGalley, the author, and Victory Editing for the advance copy! 🚂
🎧Narrated by Richard Pendragon & Cassandra Medcalf -Never listened to these narrators before and they were ok. Can’t say they were great but the train sound effects were amazing.
How do I even review this 🤣🤣 So this is an audiobook for the novella Railed and I urge anyone who wants to read this to get the audiobook because of the sound effects! It releases Sept 22nd. Had I read this with my eyes, my rating would be abysmal but the sound effects made me cackle which made me rate it higher. This also makes the cringe factor higher but I had a good time due to the endless train puns and sound effects.
Emma moved home and she’s there to save her beloved trains because Big Carma (yes like big pharma lol) wants to remove them and take over the island. She has a dirty little secret in that she loves the trains, like LOVES them. She daydreams about trains which felt very Sheldon Cooper until she started physically getting off while riding them home from work. 😂 Sheldon would never 🤣🤣
Gage, Rosie and Jamie are the trains. Gage is obsessed with Emma getting off on him every time she rides him home. It’s a bit creepy he’s watching her without her consent if I really think about it but it’s fucking trains. Literally & figuratively. 😂
The 3 trains are in a poly relationship and want to bring Emma in too so Conductor Rosie gets in there first while Emma is riding Gage home. This book is unapologetically queer and I was here for it. It’s also super unhinged. It took me awhile to understand if this was train shifters or something else but I’ll let you discover what’s going on so you’ll be as surprised as Emma. It made me cackle and my life since the end of 2024 has been tragic misery so anything that makes me genuinely laugh, hard at that, even though the cringe was real, is very welcome over here.
There is a scene on Jamie later that had me screaming due to the sound effects *CHOO CHOO* and everything else that happened. Emma realizing she might be train-sexual while Gage is telling her: “That’s a good rail slut” made me cackle, cringe and ask myself why the fuck this exists which ironically is exactly what it says in the author’s note. She wants people to ask why this book exists so there you go author!
This author also states that this is an alias for her other name and that 6 letters in Zane E Stori are in her other penname. Does anyone know? Also didn’t realize until it was said out loud what her penname actually said. And yes, it’s a fucking zany story. WTAF.
I received an ALC from netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
I was very confused at first. Then I realised this book was never going to make conventional sense—and once I embraced that, I had an absolute blast. It's funny, wildly original, unapologetically queer and very steamy. The whole experience put a smile on my face.
This is definitely erotica rather than a sweet romance, and it's not going to be for everyone. But if you're looking for something completely bonkers that refuses to choo-choo-choose just one genre, climb aboard. 🚂😂
Thank you to Zane E. Stori, Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this ARC. All opinions are my own.
This was one of the dumbest things I have read in a while, which was as expected. The author is self-aware, don’t worry. What I didn’t expect was how incredibly hilarious it was, and entertaining.
The plot, and basically everything else, was awful. Relationship development? What’s that? Everything was rushed and/or phoned-in and honestly you can barely call this a novella.
However… so entertaining! The PUNS! So many train puns packed into every single page. The wild plotline just made me laugh through the entire read. There were a lot of “spicy scenes”, however they were far too hilarious to be considered sexy. I love the pro-public transit agenda of this novella as well. Honestly it was a great time as long as you don’t try to take it seriously.
Thank you (very much) to NetGalley for providing a free ARC. This honest review was left voluntarily.
"I'm going to bury my train so far in your tunnel," I growled. "All aboard,"
🚂🚂🚂
Do I know why I read this? No.
Am I upset I read this? Also no.
This was exactly what I thought it would be and I cracked up. There is plot though. And it low key reminded me of Two Weeks Notice with Sandra Bullock where she wants to save a historic landmark. Except this was about trains…and the trains also happen to be conductors/people.
And she has an unhealthy obsession with trains. And riding them 😈
thank you to netgalley and victory editing for providing me with an ALC of this book for an honest and voluntary review from me!
if you told me 2 years ago that i would be spending my weekends reading a train based why choose book and genuinely having an incredible time, i wouldve thought you were joking. now here i am doing exactly that
honestly this book was so incredibly (perhaps even scarily) fun - by no means was it a literary piece of art but if youre looking for something that will genuinely make you laugh and have fun with then this is a billion starts lmao...
i would love to know what the narrators of this book were thinking when they read the brief of this book and accepted it? just like the author, they honestly committed to the bit incredibly and made this so fun to listen to😭
Thank you to NetGalley and Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op for the opportunity to listen to an Advanced Listener's Copy (ALC). All thoughts are my own.
This audiobook is narrated by Cassandra Medcalf and Richard Pendragon...and holy moly is it hilarious!!! There are train sound effects sprinkled throughout that sped up as people arrived and "choo-choos" that celebrated excitement. I was laughing sooo much! So, if you're looking for a short listen (or read), this one is only 2 hours, 15 min (~113 pages) and will definitely make you laugh.
Got the audiobook for review on netgally. A very quick moving why cho-cho-choose romance (gha I love saying that!) Filled with so many train puns that was both funny and oddly an hot read. Its not a a serious kind of romance and dont really make sense at all but was super fun and gave me the giggles. Its always interesting to read unhinged, weird and silly romances to see if I can still find them hot and with this, yes. Cho cho!
What a fun train shifter romance! Our FMC, Emma, is super passionate about trains and is trying to save them from being destroyed. Yet little does she know that her favorite trains to take into work are actually shifters! Oh and she is train-sexual, and only finds herself satiated when she is on the train. This develops into a why choose relationship with 2 trains, a conductor, and Emma and a whole host of funny train puns during intimate scenes. The whoo whoo train whistle made me giggle every time. I rated this 3 stars because it was a short time and felt like more details could have been added and the ending felt rushed, but it was still an enjoyable listen.
This book was sent to me on NetGalley, all thoughts and opinions are my own.
You had me at sentient, shifter and all the choo-choo-choosing. When I saw this book on NetGalley, I pressed so fast request I don’t think I even had time to breathe. Is absolutely ridiculously good. To the point of where can I find one, sorry 3 of them, yeah i think I'm no longer pansexual, I converted into trainsexual ??
This is an MMFF and is absolutely delicious, train shifters x human. The train puns has my laughing so hard and kicking my feet. Is entertaining. Hilarious. With spice of the charts.
The audiobook, I have to give it to them Cassandra Medcalf and Richard Pendragon they did such an amazing job narrating this. I wanna hear all the bloopers coz I already know it's impossible to keep a straight face the entire book.
Thank you to NetGalley and Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op for providing me with an Audio ARC in exchange for an honest review.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5/5 Stars)
⚠️ Warning: This is more erotica than romance. ⚠️
If you're looking for an off-the-tracks, full-steam-ahead, bonkers of a joystick read, then look no further, because this story cho-cho-chooses you! 😉 😂
I haven't laughed this much at a short audiobook in a while.Railed is a short novella that mixes romance, humour, and satire, and honestly, I had a great time listening to it.
The title alone gives you an idea of the sort of humour you're getting into. 😂
There were so many moments where I found myself laughing because of how ridiculous some of the situations were. Also, the added sound effects just made me laugh louder and harder! 🤣
I think what worked for me was that it didn't take itself too seriously. It knew exactly what it was and went full steam ahead, racing down the tracks hard and fast. 🤣😂
Sometimes you just want something funny that you can sit down and enjoy without having to think too much, and this did exactly that. The story is short, so it doesn't hang around for too long or drag things out.
I actually think the length worked in its favour because the jokes and situations kept moving.
I listened to the audiobook narrated by Cassandra Medcalf and Richard Pendragon, and I thought they worked well together. Their voices suited the tone of the story and helped make some of the funny moments even better.Their voices fit what the audiobook was trying to achieve; I can imagine the narrators must have had a blast making this.
This won't be for everyone, especially if satire, silly humour, and going full steam ahead on morphic trains aren't your thing, but I personally had a lot of fun with it.
For me, the biggest reason this gets 5 stars is simple:It made me laugh. A lot.
Sometimes that's exactly what I want from a short story.
So, all aboard and take a ride—the paradise station is waiting to punch a hole in your ticket! 🎟 😂🤣👌
A huge thanks to Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op, Zane E. Stori, and NetGalley for the opportunity to listen to this ALC in exchange for an honest review!
I requested this title because the premise made me laugh. A why-choose romance featuring train shifters and approximately enough train puns to derail an entire railway system? *Tom Hanks voice* ALL ABOARD! 🚂
This book delivered on all the chaos and shenanigans you can imagine and then some. The puns are ridiculous, the premise is even MORE ridiculous, and somehow the whole thing is wild enough to be genuinely fun.
That said, I did wish the characters and relationships had a little more time to develop. Everything moves pretty quickly, which makes sense for a novella, but it also left me wanting a little more substance between all the… locomotion.
The audio performances by Cassandra Medcalf and Richard Pendragon were great, they both brought so much personality to each role. However, Richard's parts sometimes sounded like they were recorded in a wind tunnel, so a remaster of his early scenes in particular might be worth a revisit.
Some puns to expect: Tracks, Smokestack, Rails
2.5/5 for the vibes and the sheer human creativity 🥳
Update: I was blessed with a ALC of the audiobook and let me tell you - IT'S TOTALLY WORTH A LISTEN! Let this be my petition that all sentient object audiobooks have sound effects!!!
For the most part, this was a lot of fun: a romance between a throuple or train shifters (m/f/enby) who begins a relationship with a self-proclaimed "trainsexual" human woman, who is fighting to keep the railway system on her cozy island from being destroyed by a car company/"big carma". It doesn't take itself very seriously, and there are SO many train puns.
My biggest issue was with the first direct interaction between Emma, the human, and the trains. For one, the way Gabe almost stalks her is sort of creepy, though of course he can't help but notice her as she is mastubating on/in him (as she is taking the train, naturally). That said, she is also masturbating in a public place, so I guess she is aware of possibly being watched? While I was willing to just roll with the flow of that dynamic, I really hated how Emma's other first meeting with another train shifter was bascially assault and non-consensual. And it's never acknowledged again?? It felt especially odd when later there is a lot of care taken to establish consent.
What really surprised me was the quality of the audiobook production. Dual narrators and fun sound effects!?! It was really well done, and added a lot fot he atmosphere of the book.
The plot around saving the railway and thus the trains was also fun, though I wish there had been more care taken to establish the worldbuiding surrounding the train shifters. We never really get into the "hows" or "whys" or "from wheres".
The kinky (D/s) dynamic between the throuple and then also with Emma was fine, but honestly, with the train puns and train sex I felt like it didn't really need the additional kink. Also want to point out that I needed a lot of suspension of disbelief for the sex scenes, mainly due to general lack of care towards sexual health in normal terms (no condoms, switching from anal to vaginal sex) and in train-sex specific terms (hot steam as cum?? how tf wouldn't that be a very horrifying visit to the ER??) and speed of orgasms (like damn, that can't have taken longer than 30s for everyone).
I received an ARC and reviewed honestly and voluntarily.
My goodness. When I saw this pop up on NetGalley, I was like “…say what now?” My son is obsessed with trains and I’m far more attuned to train sounds than I ever have been before, so I figured I had to read this.
It is as off the rails (pun intended) as you’d expect. What I didn’t anticipate was how hilarious, queer, inclusive, and great at consent it would be! There are three train characters who are poly, one of whom is nonbinary. It’s told in an alternate POV between the trains and our human protagonist. There are SO MANY TRAIN PUNS. I laughed out loud multiple times and was reading passages to my husband and sending them to friends.
There’s also a lot more plot than I expected? The protagonist is running a save the railways project because her bitter ex boyfriend, a car company nepo baby, is trying to tear up all the train tracks to bring more cars to the island in a quest for revenge. It’s of course super easy barely an inconvenience solved away at the end, but hey, this is a train-sexual erotic novella, what did you expect? 🤪
Every time a train got off and went WOOOO WOOOO I died. This book was too funny.
Rating solely based on enjoyment, not on its quality as ~literature~
Have you ever wanted to fuck a train? Have you ever wanted to fuck a train that's in a queer polycule with other trains? Then this is the perfect book for you 😂
It says in the 'about the author' section that their main goal is to confuse readers and make them question why these books exist and boy did she deliver because what the fuck did I read???
I truly don't know how to rate this, was it a masterpiece? No! Was it moving? No! but it sure was a fun little gay time and for that it got 3 stars, the extra star was for the author well and truly committing to the bit with the amount of train puns
Emma has always had an unusual relationship with trains. Living on an island where railways are an important part of life, she is deeply and sexually fascinated by them. Her peaceful little world is threatened when her ex-boyfriend's car company plans to replace the railway with roads, potentially destroying the trains and the tracks Emma loves. Determined to save the railway, Emma finds herself drawn into an even stranger situation when she discovers that three of the trains aren't quite what they seem. They are train shifters, capable of taking human form, and they have noticed Emma too. What follows is a fast, spicy and completely crazy romance.
ALC. I don’t even know where to start with this. This is the hardest book I’ve ever had to rate. It was ridiculous, but it was meant to be. But it was so clever & funny, but stupid at the same time 😂😂😂😂 It was mental, f*ked up, but hilarious. What’s not to love in a why choose romance with trains?’ The fact it’s called railed? Brilliant. And the fact it’s labelled as a why choo- choo- choose romance? Phenomenal. Zane E. Stori, take a bow for that alone 😂😂😂😂😂 Would I recommend it? Yes. For the right reasons? Maybe not. But this book will never leave my mind that’s for sure 😂 the audio for the sounds they make in sex is worth it alone 😂😂😂😂 mind is blown.
Thank you Netgalley for this ALC of Railed: A Why Cho-Cho-Choose Romance.
Like the author wrote this book to commit to the bit, I requested this ALC also to commit to the bit.
I feel like I have to give it a 5 star rating simply for the absolute unhinged chaos that this book was. It had me cackling alone in my house while doing my chores. I showed my best friends an excerpt of the part that sent me straight into orbit it was so funny.
Catch me and my friends adding "CHOO CHOO" to our collective vocab from here on out.
Surprisingly, and maybe I should have given Zane E. Stori more credit before I judged, but this did have a plot! It wasn't just senseless train smut (would have been fine if it was) but you could tell some real pondering went into this.
Did I go into this blind because I saw it as an ALC on Net Galley? Yes Do the train puns deserve a star? Also yes
In Zane’s author bio on good reads it states: “Her entire goal as an author is to make you tilt your head in confusion and ask yourself and others why these books exist.” That was definitely accomplished with this one. There could be more to the plot, but overall this is just a quirky book about trains. The narration was just okay. This is not my type of book and is not something I would recommend.
Thank you Net Galley and the publisher for the free ALC!
For the majority of my time listening to this book, my head was tilted to the side and I was thinking “what the heck am I listening to??” which essentially is the point of a book by @authorzaneestori ! While I was utterly confused by alien train people, I was thoroughly entertained the entire time. I will definitely never be able to look at, or ride, a train the same way ever again!
After seeing this book I knew I needed to listen. Trains- sexual 🤣This book was a riot. So much fun. Cute story with a plot. Audiobook a MUST. Sound effects were awesome.
The train euphemisms and puns are off the rails and I love it hahaha. Also, the names?? Miles for a car company guy and Gauge for a train, etc?? And train-specific curse words?? lol so good. This was so campy and silly.