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The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook
Welcome to the We Do Not Care where the bras are optional, the chin hairs are thriving, and the menopause meltdown is mutual.
Do you wake up with night sweats at 3:26 am, overstimulated, furious at anything breathing (including yourself), wondering how you’re going to get through the next day without losing it at your kids/partner/co-workers?
Welcome to the We Do Not Care Club: where the bras are optional, the chin hairs are thriving, and the menopause meltdown is mutual.
Do you wake up with night sweats at 3:26 am, overstimulated, furious at anything breathing (including yourself), wondering how you’re going to get through the next day without losing it at your kids/partner/co-workers?
If you wish everyone would leave you alone, no longer care about bras that fit, clothes with buttons (elastic forever, baby), or cellulite anywhere then welcome to the We Do Not Care (WDNC) Club. You're now a card-carrying member with an exclusive invite to the biggest hormonal party in town.
This Club is for anyone in perimenopause and menopause who are over it. Here is a list* of things We Do Not Care about:
Shaved legs.
Half-painted big toenails.
Unplucked chin hair.
Wearing the same bra all week. Or wearing bra – full stop.
Wearing PJs all day. At least we have something on.
Being on time. Be happy that I showed up.
People who think we have a sh*tty attitude. That's on them.
Cancelled plans. We didn't want to go anywhere anyway.
What's for dinner. If you're hungry, do something about it yourself.
If you're cold – don't even think about touching the air conditioning.
Melani Sanders, Founding Member of the We Do Not Care Club, is here to tell you that it's ok – in fact welcomed – not to care. You're not alone. We are all in the same boat, just out here trying to survive.
This book is your life raft, girls. Let's hold on for dear life – and get through this together.
Do you wake up with night sweats at 3:26 am, overstimulated, furious at anything breathing (including yourself), wondering how you’re going to get through the next day without losing it at your kids/partner/co-workers?
Welcome to the We Do Not Care Club: where the bras are optional, the chin hairs are thriving, and the menopause meltdown is mutual.
Do you wake up with night sweats at 3:26 am, overstimulated, furious at anything breathing (including yourself), wondering how you’re going to get through the next day without losing it at your kids/partner/co-workers?
If you wish everyone would leave you alone, no longer care about bras that fit, clothes with buttons (elastic forever, baby), or cellulite anywhere then welcome to the We Do Not Care (WDNC) Club. You're now a card-carrying member with an exclusive invite to the biggest hormonal party in town.
This Club is for anyone in perimenopause and menopause who are over it. Here is a list* of things We Do Not Care about:
Shaved legs.
Half-painted big toenails.
Unplucked chin hair.
Wearing the same bra all week. Or wearing bra – full stop.
Wearing PJs all day. At least we have something on.
Being on time. Be happy that I showed up.
People who think we have a sh*tty attitude. That's on them.
Cancelled plans. We didn't want to go anywhere anyway.
What's for dinner. If you're hungry, do something about it yourself.
If you're cold – don't even think about touching the air conditioning.
Melani Sanders, Founding Member of the We Do Not Care Club, is here to tell you that it's ok – in fact welcomed – not to care. You're not alone. We are all in the same boat, just out here trying to survive.
This book is your life raft, girls. Let's hold on for dear life – and get through this together.
256 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 13, 2026
528 people are currently reading
7161 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 82 reviews
December 5, 2025
As many others who will be moved to read this book, I joined the We Do Not Care Club after seeing Melani's tiktoks... and they have brought me so many laughs. Even more than that, they have brought me comfort and understanding - it is so nice to know that other women out there are experiencing the same thing and they GET IT. Perimenopause is not for the weak.
This handbook was light-hearted and fun to read. I never tire of hearing different examples of the things we just do not care about anymore. More than that, there were other nuggets of wisdom and examples of amazing women who accomplished so much while experiencing the same things we are today. I will echo other reviews and say that ebook is not the best format for this - definitely recommend a physical book or even audio.
A sincere thank you to NetGalley and William Morrow/Harvest for the opportunity to read an early copy.
This handbook was light-hearted and fun to read. I never tire of hearing different examples of the things we just do not care about anymore. More than that, there were other nuggets of wisdom and examples of amazing women who accomplished so much while experiencing the same things we are today. I will echo other reviews and say that ebook is not the best format for this - definitely recommend a physical book or even audio.
A sincere thank you to NetGalley and William Morrow/Harvest for the opportunity to read an early copy.
November 23, 2025
Melani Sanders is so funny! She writes and shares about her perimenopause journey with humor and wit. Although I read this ARC digitally, I think this book would be best in print and/or audio. If you are interested in midlife, pick this one up — it is both informative and entertaining.
Thanks to Harvest and Netgalley for this ARC.
Thanks to Harvest and Netgalley for this ARC.
February 4, 2026
Now and forevermore referring to my lady hood as the bush burger.
January 19, 2026
We Do Not Care! Melani Sanders is on point with this book. I am a new fan. I will definitely watch the TikTok videos. I felt seen and heard while reading. Finally, some people understand what I have been going through since I was 26. We have similar stories. My journey to menopause also began surgically. The announcements at the beginning of each chapter were so relatable. Plus, I loved the advice from WDNC members around the world. I was pleased to find that there is a chapter of WDNC members in my state. Just the mention of perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause is taboo to some. Melani did her research when she wrote this. I learned a lot of things I didn't know humorously. I love this book. I hope she writes more.
January 31, 2026
I absolutely love Melani and I appreciate the WDNC community she started with her relatable honesty and deadpan humor. She is enabling open discussion and awareness of the condition, struggle, and evolution of those of us in peri/menopause. This book is also relatable and funny, but I rated it only three stars because even though I love the idea of all the things I’m free not to care about anymore, I found it the content repetitive. The book could have been much shorter. I personally don’t care much for some of the contributors’ male-bashing quotes throughout the book. (Although I do find the historical oversight and lack of attention to women’s healthcare needs - which maddeningly continues even today - to be very disturbing.) I stand in solidarity with my fellow WDNC members as I snuggle on the couch with my blanket and coffee wearing yesterday’s clothes, my readers perched atop my bed-head, and eating chocolate and cheese for breakfast. I simply do not care that it’s not a proper breakfast. At this point I will eat whatever takes the least amount of effort to scrounge up.
February 3, 2026
If you love Melanie Sanders and the "we do not care" club on Instagram, you will love the audio version of her book. She's real, authentic, out there, and doesn't hold back. It's just a damn shame that women's health issues are under researched and not learned about until one reaches "that" age. Melanie's book advocates for change. I learned a lot. Too late for me but, I will be sharing what's happening to my body (again) with my daughters.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook
By Melani Sanders
Release Date: 1.13.26
Thank you, @harvestbooks, for a finished copy of Melani Sanders debut, The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook.
I typically start my year with a self help book to kick things off, and this was a great choice. Melani, a woman just like the rest of us, was fed up last May and took to social media stating that she no longer cared to do it all. In the midst of menopause, she was giving herself permission to not have it all together all the time and through that sharing she found that she was alone. Fast forward to today where she has a mass following shouting yes girl to all of her revelations and making up the WDNC Club.
Full transparency, I had never heard of Melani Sanders until the publisher approached me with the chance to read her book. I tabbed this book up real good, felt seen/heard, and laughed throughout.
Note, that if looking for medical advice, this is not the book, but this instead is a space created by women for women as we all navigate an area that is lacking in information, support and guidance. This is an interactive handbook that encourages tabbing, highlighting and fill in the blank. It also references how to set up your own club or join in online. I enjoyed the sections on what women no longer care about and women in history (their contributions and what they didn't care to adhere to in society).
Finding out that i'm not the only one waiting up in the middle of the night, is reassuring. (P.s. it's 3:15 am while I write this review 😉). Although, the focus of the book is on perimenopause, menopause, and post menopause, all women can relate to the pressures placed on us by society to perform at an unrealistic level in work, family, relationships, society, etc. This book shows that we can give ourselves permission to say we no longer care to adhere to those expectations.
By Melani Sanders
Release Date: 1.13.26
Thank you, @harvestbooks, for a finished copy of Melani Sanders debut, The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook.
I typically start my year with a self help book to kick things off, and this was a great choice. Melani, a woman just like the rest of us, was fed up last May and took to social media stating that she no longer cared to do it all. In the midst of menopause, she was giving herself permission to not have it all together all the time and through that sharing she found that she was alone. Fast forward to today where she has a mass following shouting yes girl to all of her revelations and making up the WDNC Club.
Full transparency, I had never heard of Melani Sanders until the publisher approached me with the chance to read her book. I tabbed this book up real good, felt seen/heard, and laughed throughout.
Note, that if looking for medical advice, this is not the book, but this instead is a space created by women for women as we all navigate an area that is lacking in information, support and guidance. This is an interactive handbook that encourages tabbing, highlighting and fill in the blank. It also references how to set up your own club or join in online. I enjoyed the sections on what women no longer care about and women in history (their contributions and what they didn't care to adhere to in society).
Finding out that i'm not the only one waiting up in the middle of the night, is reassuring. (P.s. it's 3:15 am while I write this review 😉). Although, the focus of the book is on perimenopause, menopause, and post menopause, all women can relate to the pressures placed on us by society to perform at an unrealistic level in work, family, relationships, society, etc. This book shows that we can give ourselves permission to say we no longer care to adhere to those expectations.
January 17, 2026
It's ok, but I prefer her videos.
February 7, 2026
3 stars, because there about half this book was 5 stars for me, and about half was 1 star.
I loved the audiobook - because the author narrates it! Also, I didn’t like the audiobook because I couldn’t easily skip or skim the parts I didn’t want to read. Also, I think the book pages would have visual appeal which obviously is missing in the audiobook. Still, her voice is so fantastic and funny!
What I really like about Melani Sanders,this book, and the WDNC club -
She speaks her mind, often in a very funny and relatable way
She legitimizes the physical, mental and emotional changes in this season - all of which can leave you feeling different than what you think of as yourself. This is not necessarily a bad thing! It’s just a big change.
She educates about menopause, hormonal changes throughout women’s lives, in ways that I’ve not heard before. She is an advocate for women in this season of life.
She seems to have a strong marriage, and I appreciate the way she talks about her husband, and, especially, the way he talks about her.
I liked her phrase “I’m at capacity” - a recognition and respect of limits in our lives as we age. I’ve learned this and am still learning it - that my limits, my capacity, may be much smaller than what I think or what I want - but that is okay. I have to respect whatever capacity I have. It is good enough.
Things I didn’t really like about the book:
The amount of more graphic material and profanity. For some, the more sexual parts of the book might be helpful; for me they were just very uncomfortable.
The underlying message (for the most part) that you have to choose between taking care of yourself and taking care of others.
The repeated mantra “you are enough.” I’m not interested in whether I’m, by myself, enough or not - because I live with the Spirit of Christ in me. That’s who makes me whole, makes me enough. Jesus is more than enough! It’s not what my husband thinks of me, or what anybody else thinks of me - just that Jesus died for me and I belong to Him. THAT is enough for me!
My own perspective, as a post menopausal woman who walks with Jesus - what I don’t care about anymore is:
trying to impress other people.
Thinking I have to be the smartest, funniest, best woman in the room. Good enough is good enough. God is enough.
Proving my worth by my productivity. I’ve already made a difference in the world, with ministry and friendships and bringing two sons into the world who are now amazing young men who chose amazing wives.
My own way of understanding why it matters to not care about the small stuff or other people opinions: because I have limited capacity. Those are extra, vain, self-interested concerns. And my concerns in this season of life are not about how I look, or my reputation, or how much I can accomplish. Instead, I want to care for myself in such a way that I am full of the love of God and freed to share that love with others. To share the wisdom and life lessons God’s given me with others. To love my sons with all of me. Caring for myself better is not an end in itself. “Self-care” is not self-indulgence, but making sure I’m at my best in my body and mind and spirit, so that I can serve God and others with true joy and freedom - not because others are watching or I have something to prove. But just because God’s love is so full and so worth sharing with those around me.
So what I DO care about is leaning on God and receiving all He has for me so that I am my best self. And then pouring that love on others so they are their best selves. Letting go of all the externals and self-consciousness and drivenness that plagued me in my earlier adulthood, I have so much MORE capacity to love and serve with joy and freedom and inner peace.
So that’s my message. All the things that I do not care about any more I can release. And then, even with a more limited capacity physically, emotionally and mentally, I still have plenty of reserves to share with others. Plenty of reserves with which to see and deeply appreciate the beauty of the world and others and even myself.
This season of post menopause can be hard and yet it also is so so very good and rich and liberating. There is much to look forward to!
I loved the audiobook - because the author narrates it! Also, I didn’t like the audiobook because I couldn’t easily skip or skim the parts I didn’t want to read. Also, I think the book pages would have visual appeal which obviously is missing in the audiobook. Still, her voice is so fantastic and funny!
What I really like about Melani Sanders,this book, and the WDNC club -
She speaks her mind, often in a very funny and relatable way
She legitimizes the physical, mental and emotional changes in this season - all of which can leave you feeling different than what you think of as yourself. This is not necessarily a bad thing! It’s just a big change.
She educates about menopause, hormonal changes throughout women’s lives, in ways that I’ve not heard before. She is an advocate for women in this season of life.
She seems to have a strong marriage, and I appreciate the way she talks about her husband, and, especially, the way he talks about her.
I liked her phrase “I’m at capacity” - a recognition and respect of limits in our lives as we age. I’ve learned this and am still learning it - that my limits, my capacity, may be much smaller than what I think or what I want - but that is okay. I have to respect whatever capacity I have. It is good enough.
Things I didn’t really like about the book:
The amount of more graphic material and profanity. For some, the more sexual parts of the book might be helpful; for me they were just very uncomfortable.
The underlying message (for the most part) that you have to choose between taking care of yourself and taking care of others.
The repeated mantra “you are enough.” I’m not interested in whether I’m, by myself, enough or not - because I live with the Spirit of Christ in me. That’s who makes me whole, makes me enough. Jesus is more than enough! It’s not what my husband thinks of me, or what anybody else thinks of me - just that Jesus died for me and I belong to Him. THAT is enough for me!
My own perspective, as a post menopausal woman who walks with Jesus - what I don’t care about anymore is:
trying to impress other people.
Thinking I have to be the smartest, funniest, best woman in the room. Good enough is good enough. God is enough.
Proving my worth by my productivity. I’ve already made a difference in the world, with ministry and friendships and bringing two sons into the world who are now amazing young men who chose amazing wives.
My own way of understanding why it matters to not care about the small stuff or other people opinions: because I have limited capacity. Those are extra, vain, self-interested concerns. And my concerns in this season of life are not about how I look, or my reputation, or how much I can accomplish. Instead, I want to care for myself in such a way that I am full of the love of God and freed to share that love with others. To share the wisdom and life lessons God’s given me with others. To love my sons with all of me. Caring for myself better is not an end in itself. “Self-care” is not self-indulgence, but making sure I’m at my best in my body and mind and spirit, so that I can serve God and others with true joy and freedom - not because others are watching or I have something to prove. But just because God’s love is so full and so worth sharing with those around me.
So what I DO care about is leaning on God and receiving all He has for me so that I am my best self. And then pouring that love on others so they are their best selves. Letting go of all the externals and self-consciousness and drivenness that plagued me in my earlier adulthood, I have so much MORE capacity to love and serve with joy and freedom and inner peace.
So that’s my message. All the things that I do not care about any more I can release. And then, even with a more limited capacity physically, emotionally and mentally, I still have plenty of reserves to share with others. Plenty of reserves with which to see and deeply appreciate the beauty of the world and others and even myself.
This season of post menopause can be hard and yet it also is so so very good and rich and liberating. There is much to look forward to!
December 7, 2025
This is the Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook - accept no substitutes! Seriously, there are people out there who are selling merchandise and trying to capitalize on the WDNC Club popularity, but only items authorized and/or written by Melani Sanders (aka @justbeingmelani) are the real thing. And the real thing is worth every penny.
Most of us women "of a certain age" know Melani through her viral social media videos. She records these wearing a variety of hats, a neck pillow, several pairs of glasses, and a yellow highlighter stuck in her hair. After spitting out the cap to the highlighter, she proceeds to the announcements, which consist of a number of things that "we do not care about today." Example: "We do not care if we RSVP'd to your invitation. We wanted to go then. We don't now. We're not going." These things that we do not care about hit so close to home and are so laugh-out-loud funny that the WDNC movement has spawned chapters all over the globe and earned Melani the Creator of the Year award from People Magazine.
But let's talk about the book - I'm here to tell you that it is absolutely wonderful - far more than I expected. In addition to the "today's announcements" section in every chapter, there are messages from OB/GYNs and other women's health specialists, profiles of women through history who simply did not care (from. Helen Keller to the Queen of Hearts), sample agendas to start your own club, and quite a few pages where women can list what they do not care about today, what self-help works for them, and other resources (notable is a section that deals with how to advocate with your elected representatives for laws and policies favoring menopausal women. Melani includes a sample advocacy letter and then, in typical Melani fashion, suggests it's probably not a good idea to use the word "coochie").. It's all lighthearted but also very serious. A running theme is that menopause changes are very real, and require support, not just women thinking they have to live through it. A message that resonates with many of us - which is one of the reasons this is so popular.
I hope and fully expect this book to be a bestseller. Many thanks to Harvest and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this advance copy in exchange for my honest review.
Most of us women "of a certain age" know Melani through her viral social media videos. She records these wearing a variety of hats, a neck pillow, several pairs of glasses, and a yellow highlighter stuck in her hair. After spitting out the cap to the highlighter, she proceeds to the announcements, which consist of a number of things that "we do not care about today." Example: "We do not care if we RSVP'd to your invitation. We wanted to go then. We don't now. We're not going." These things that we do not care about hit so close to home and are so laugh-out-loud funny that the WDNC movement has spawned chapters all over the globe and earned Melani the Creator of the Year award from People Magazine.
But let's talk about the book - I'm here to tell you that it is absolutely wonderful - far more than I expected. In addition to the "today's announcements" section in every chapter, there are messages from OB/GYNs and other women's health specialists, profiles of women through history who simply did not care (from. Helen Keller to the Queen of Hearts), sample agendas to start your own club, and quite a few pages where women can list what they do not care about today, what self-help works for them, and other resources (notable is a section that deals with how to advocate with your elected representatives for laws and policies favoring menopausal women. Melani includes a sample advocacy letter and then, in typical Melani fashion, suggests it's probably not a good idea to use the word "coochie").. It's all lighthearted but also very serious. A running theme is that menopause changes are very real, and require support, not just women thinking they have to live through it. A message that resonates with many of us - which is one of the reasons this is so popular.
I hope and fully expect this book to be a bestseller. Many thanks to Harvest and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this advance copy in exchange for my honest review.
January 22, 2026
The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook is the permission slip so many women didn’t know they were desperately waiting for. Melani Sanders delivers a hilariously honest, deeply validating, and unexpectedly tender guide for navigating perimenopause, menopause, and everything that comes after with zero apologies and a whole lot of truth.
This book works because it refuses to medicalize, sanitize, or minimize what women are experiencing. Instead, it names it. Loudly. With humor. From brain fog and night sweats to rage flashes and the radical decision to stop pretending we’re fine, Sanders captures the lived reality of this stage of life with uncanny precision. You feel seen on page one and it never lets go.
What makes this more than just a comedy read is the underlying solidarity. Beneath the laughs is a strong current of reassurance: you’re not broken, you’re not failing, and you’re not alone. The WDNC Club isn’t about giving up it’s about finally letting go of impossible standards that were never designed for women at this stage of life.
Sanders’ voice feels like the friend who tells the truth you’re afraid to say out loud, then hands you coffee and a blanket and says, “Same.” The result is a book that feels less like self-help and more like survival gear.
This is a rallying cry, a release valve, and a lifeline wrapped in humor. For anyone who is over it but still wants connection, laughter, and understanding this book belongs on your nightstand (or in your she-shed, pajamas optional).
Melanie M. Ham
melaniemhamliteracy@gmail.com
This book works because it refuses to medicalize, sanitize, or minimize what women are experiencing. Instead, it names it. Loudly. With humor. From brain fog and night sweats to rage flashes and the radical decision to stop pretending we’re fine, Sanders captures the lived reality of this stage of life with uncanny precision. You feel seen on page one and it never lets go.
What makes this more than just a comedy read is the underlying solidarity. Beneath the laughs is a strong current of reassurance: you’re not broken, you’re not failing, and you’re not alone. The WDNC Club isn’t about giving up it’s about finally letting go of impossible standards that were never designed for women at this stage of life.
Sanders’ voice feels like the friend who tells the truth you’re afraid to say out loud, then hands you coffee and a blanket and says, “Same.” The result is a book that feels less like self-help and more like survival gear.
This is a rallying cry, a release valve, and a lifeline wrapped in humor. For anyone who is over it but still wants connection, laughter, and understanding this book belongs on your nightstand (or in your she-shed, pajamas optional).
Melanie M. Ham
melaniemhamliteracy@gmail.com
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
We Do Not Care Club Handbook by Melani Sanders presents a humorous, candid look at life during perimenopause, menopause, and post menopause, framed as a membership guide for women navigating hormonal changes. Using short reflections and lists, the book touches on shifting priorities, physical symptoms, and everyday frustrations through a shared club-like perspective.
I first came across Melani’s TikToks this past summer, and as a postmenopausal woman, I immediately felt that spark of recognition. That same feeling carried right into this book. It is deeply relatable and genuinely funny, but what surprised me most is that it is not just humor for humor’s sake. Woven throughout are thoughtful reminders about taking care of yourself, along with little nuggets of wisdom from women both past and present, and solid, credible input from medical voices like Dr. Mary Claire Haver.
More than anything, this book made me feel seen. It felt like sitting down with a friend who gets it and who reminds you that you are not alone in this stage of life, and that you do not need to apologize for who you are right now. While I read this as an advanced ebook copy, I would absolutely buy a physical copy for myself. The design elements are fantastic, and this is very much a book you want to hold in your hands, flip through, and revisit.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced copy of this ebook in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
I first came across Melani’s TikToks this past summer, and as a postmenopausal woman, I immediately felt that spark of recognition. That same feeling carried right into this book. It is deeply relatable and genuinely funny, but what surprised me most is that it is not just humor for humor’s sake. Woven throughout are thoughtful reminders about taking care of yourself, along with little nuggets of wisdom from women both past and present, and solid, credible input from medical voices like Dr. Mary Claire Haver.
More than anything, this book made me feel seen. It felt like sitting down with a friend who gets it and who reminds you that you are not alone in this stage of life, and that you do not need to apologize for who you are right now. While I read this as an advanced ebook copy, I would absolutely buy a physical copy for myself. The design elements are fantastic, and this is very much a book you want to hold in your hands, flip through, and revisit.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced copy of this ebook in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Unless you’ve been under a rock, there’s a good chance that you have heard of Melani Sanders and her “We Do Not Care Club” movement. What started out as a video filmed in her car as a cry for understanding turned into a phenomenon. The We Do Not Care Club is just that. A club for women who have just about had it, done, finished, and don’t care whether you or anyone likes it or not.
When it was announced that a handbook would be published to accompany the movement, I was excited to see what Melani would come up with. There are tidbits from a few menopause experts, excerpts from various WDNC club members discussing their experiences with menopause, and several lists of WDNC honorary members (Rosa Parks, Queen Elizabeth, Edie Windsor) to include their backstories.
Melani also added chapters on body image, sleep and sex, and the all too real balancing act we all face. Each chapter begins with the now famous “WDNC Announcements” which will make you chuckle. The WDNC handbook gives the reader a more intimate look into the authors life, versus more of the WDNC videos that have been viewed by millions.
Since it is being described as a “handbook” I would recommend a physical copy over digital if you want to jot down notes, and use your yellow highlighters.
Thank you to NetGalley and William Morrow | Harvest Publishing for providing an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
When it was announced that a handbook would be published to accompany the movement, I was excited to see what Melani would come up with. There are tidbits from a few menopause experts, excerpts from various WDNC club members discussing their experiences with menopause, and several lists of WDNC honorary members (Rosa Parks, Queen Elizabeth, Edie Windsor) to include their backstories.
Melani also added chapters on body image, sleep and sex, and the all too real balancing act we all face. Each chapter begins with the now famous “WDNC Announcements” which will make you chuckle. The WDNC handbook gives the reader a more intimate look into the authors life, versus more of the WDNC videos that have been viewed by millions.
Since it is being described as a “handbook” I would recommend a physical copy over digital if you want to jot down notes, and use your yellow highlighters.
Thank you to NetGalley and William Morrow | Harvest Publishing for providing an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
January 25, 2026
Raise your hand if you are a woman out there who is fed up with all the years of raging hormones, pressures of society to always at your best, putting everyone else before yourself, etc. and as a thank you for all that you have been through and done, you now find yourself at the threshold of perimenopause, fit to be tied by all the “joys” that come with it.
The We Do Not Care Club was born out of woman venting her frustrations and other women hearing that and connecting with the message. It is a way to come together, support each other and find comfort in the fact that we are not alone.
This is a fun lighthearted read. We all arrive at this point at different times and in different ways, but the best part about this book is realizing that no matter how or when you get there, you are not alone and whatever you need to do to get through it is ok.
Filled with information and humor, this book takes an often taboo subject and normalizes it. What I
love is that from the original rant has sprung groups that have formed across the country that women can join and find support and companionship, and this book is the handbook. Women supporting women is always important and so uplifting to see.
Thank you to William Morrow for the gifted copy of this book and for bringing me into the We Do Not Care Club fold! While this is a big movement on TikTok, I learned about it through this book and am so glad that I did.
The We Do Not Care Club was born out of woman venting her frustrations and other women hearing that and connecting with the message. It is a way to come together, support each other and find comfort in the fact that we are not alone.
This is a fun lighthearted read. We all arrive at this point at different times and in different ways, but the best part about this book is realizing that no matter how or when you get there, you are not alone and whatever you need to do to get through it is ok.
Filled with information and humor, this book takes an often taboo subject and normalizes it. What I
love is that from the original rant has sprung groups that have formed across the country that women can join and find support and companionship, and this book is the handbook. Women supporting women is always important and so uplifting to see.
Thank you to William Morrow for the gifted copy of this book and for bringing me into the We Do Not Care Club fold! While this is a big movement on TikTok, I learned about it through this book and am so glad that I did.
February 4, 2026
We Do Not Care. And you know why we don't care? Because we have cared too much for way too long. We are worn out from caring and from being told how we should care about things that we don't need to care about.
The story goes that in May 2025 (the Mother's Day month), Melani Sanders was sitting in her car, turned on her camera, and posted a very honest "I'm struggling, is anyone else?" video. Sanders, already known in the TikTok world for content, suddenly became known for new content, that of peri and post menopause and the in-between of menopause. By conveying serious matters through humor, Sanders has created a massive community of women who are unseen and ignored in both the medical system and society. She has given us visibility. She has given us a place to congregate, connect, and laugh.
This handbook provides really great information for women who need it but haven't received it for one reason or another. For someone who is in the throes of menopause and/or has done their homework, no thanks to the uninformed and uneducated doctors they may have seen and received no assistance or empathy from, this book doesn't contain any surprising information. But it does contain useful and good information, with each chapter starting with a list of things we do not care about. I read the book in print, but I'm going to listen to it again on audio simply because I love hearing Melani Sanders' voice.
The story goes that in May 2025 (the Mother's Day month), Melani Sanders was sitting in her car, turned on her camera, and posted a very honest "I'm struggling, is anyone else?" video. Sanders, already known in the TikTok world for content, suddenly became known for new content, that of peri and post menopause and the in-between of menopause. By conveying serious matters through humor, Sanders has created a massive community of women who are unseen and ignored in both the medical system and society. She has given us visibility. She has given us a place to congregate, connect, and laugh.
This handbook provides really great information for women who need it but haven't received it for one reason or another. For someone who is in the throes of menopause and/or has done their homework, no thanks to the uninformed and uneducated doctors they may have seen and received no assistance or empathy from, this book doesn't contain any surprising information. But it does contain useful and good information, with each chapter starting with a list of things we do not care about. I read the book in print, but I'm going to listen to it again on audio simply because I love hearing Melani Sanders' voice.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Well this was a delight! I love The WDNC videos and the tone remains that of a smart, snarky sister who knows what is headed your way. Even though I am on the crone side of meno-madness, it was still a comfort to read that it wasn't me that was bonkers, that it was just part of the ride.
Melani has her signature list of things we simply do not care about, along with examples of honorary WDNC members throughout history and quotes from women who have been through it and know whereof they speak.
Some of the chapters are a little slight and the formatting of the ebook was monstrous. I can only assume that is because it is a pre-publication Netgalley version and they will will fix it. But honestly, I think the print version of this is the way to go. There is talk of awarding yourself points for you awesomeness and keeping track of your points in the back - an impossible task in an ebook, needless to say. But the content is delightful.
Melani's voice and attitude come through in writing as strongly as they do in her videos and it is a welcome tone for women of a certain age. I'd even buy one of those affirming desk calendars if she created it, and I hate those things! If you are between the ages of 40 and death, you're going to want to read this one.
Melani has her signature list of things we simply do not care about, along with examples of honorary WDNC members throughout history and quotes from women who have been through it and know whereof they speak.
Some of the chapters are a little slight and the formatting of the ebook was monstrous. I can only assume that is because it is a pre-publication Netgalley version and they will will fix it. But honestly, I think the print version of this is the way to go. There is talk of awarding yourself points for you awesomeness and keeping track of your points in the back - an impossible task in an ebook, needless to say. But the content is delightful.
Melani's voice and attitude come through in writing as strongly as they do in her videos and it is a welcome tone for women of a certain age. I'd even buy one of those affirming desk calendars if she created it, and I hate those things! If you are between the ages of 40 and death, you're going to want to read this one.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
This book is a rallying cry for women who are exhausted, overstimulated, hormonal, and officially over it. Melani Sanders uses humor and honesty to normalize the many physical and emotional shifts that come with perimenopause, menopause, and post menopause. From night sweats to brain fog to sudden rage at minor inconveniences, nothing is off limits.
What makes this book work so well is its tone. Sanders does not talk down to the reader or try to sugarcoat the experience. Instead, she leans into the absurdity and frustration of it all, creating a space where laughter and relief go hand in hand. The WDNC Club concept feels like a collective sigh of recognition.
This is not a clinical or instructional book, and readers looking for medical guidance may want to pair it with other resources. That said, it excels at emotional validation. It reminds women that letting go of unrealistic expectations is not failure. It is survival.
Funny, comforting, and cathartic, The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook feels like a friend who gets it. Highly recommended for anyone navigating hormonal changes and ready to stop apologizing for existing.
What makes this book work so well is its tone. Sanders does not talk down to the reader or try to sugarcoat the experience. Instead, she leans into the absurdity and frustration of it all, creating a space where laughter and relief go hand in hand. The WDNC Club concept feels like a collective sigh of recognition.
This is not a clinical or instructional book, and readers looking for medical guidance may want to pair it with other resources. That said, it excels at emotional validation. It reminds women that letting go of unrealistic expectations is not failure. It is survival.
Funny, comforting, and cathartic, The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook feels like a friend who gets it. Highly recommended for anyone navigating hormonal changes and ready to stop apologizing for existing.
January 14, 2026
I’ve been sick lately, and sitting down and listening to this was very cathartic.
The lists of the things we do not care about are so fun - just like the videos the author is known for. Hearing her read the book brought a lot of humor to it in my opinion, so I’d recommend the audiobook.
This gives some empathetic, albeit vague, insight into perimenopause, menopause and general womanly body processes. It also emphasizes the very real and disheartening shortcomings in the medical field regarding knowledge of the processes women go through and the nuances of it.
I enjoyed the chapters about random hard-ass women achieving greatness later in life. I also liked the lowkey flex of chapters starting with quotes from women like “Stevie N” or “Shania T.”
I think this book is fun and definitely makes you feel that you’re not alone. It lacks a bit of substance and depth, relying on anecdotes and quick-paced self-help suggestions to fly by, but if you’re in the mood for a quick, low-stakes read about women getting older, go for it.
The lists of the things we do not care about are so fun - just like the videos the author is known for. Hearing her read the book brought a lot of humor to it in my opinion, so I’d recommend the audiobook.
This gives some empathetic, albeit vague, insight into perimenopause, menopause and general womanly body processes. It also emphasizes the very real and disheartening shortcomings in the medical field regarding knowledge of the processes women go through and the nuances of it.
I enjoyed the chapters about random hard-ass women achieving greatness later in life. I also liked the lowkey flex of chapters starting with quotes from women like “Stevie N” or “Shania T.”
I think this book is fun and definitely makes you feel that you’re not alone. It lacks a bit of substance and depth, relying on anecdotes and quick-paced self-help suggestions to fly by, but if you’re in the mood for a quick, low-stakes read about women getting older, go for it.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
As a member of the perimenopause community, I loved this book. It captures exactly how I’m feeling in this stage of life: the gradual shedding of the desire to care about things that no longer deserve my energy. The We Do Not Care Club Handbook feels like a warm, funny, validating group chat in book form. What I appreciated most is the sense of camaraderie. This book invites you to laugh, commiserate, and recognize yourself in other people’s experiences.
It was also fun to see familiar TikTok voices contributing pieces. Knowing some of these writers from social media made the book feel current and communal, like a snapshot of what this moment feels like for so many people right now.
If you’re looking for something that will make you laugh, help you better understand what your body is going through, and remind you that you are not alone in this weird, wild, and sometimes frustrating transition, this book is absolutely worth picking up.
It was also fun to see familiar TikTok voices contributing pieces. Knowing some of these writers from social media made the book feel current and communal, like a snapshot of what this moment feels like for so many people right now.
If you’re looking for something that will make you laugh, help you better understand what your body is going through, and remind you that you are not alone in this weird, wild, and sometimes frustrating transition, this book is absolutely worth picking up.
January 24, 2026
A friend at work showed me one of Melani’s We Do Not Care Club videos last spring, and I laughed harder than I had in a long time. I’ve since followed her videos myself, and I am impressed at how she brings laughter (and good advice) to a time of life that can be overwhelming. I was so excited to hear that she released a book!
Her fun personality shines through her writing in The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook. Sprinkled throughout the fun is a message of belonging, self-care, friendship, and the reassurance of knowing that you are not alone. She also provides helpful information about the stages of the menopausal transition and what can help.
I read the ebook copy, but I think that this is one that I would enjoy even more in print or audio. Even in ebook form, though, it is still an enjoyable and light-hearted read.
I am grateful to Harvest and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this advance copy in exchange for my honest review.
Her fun personality shines through her writing in The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook. Sprinkled throughout the fun is a message of belonging, self-care, friendship, and the reassurance of knowing that you are not alone. She also provides helpful information about the stages of the menopausal transition and what can help.
I read the ebook copy, but I think that this is one that I would enjoy even more in print or audio. Even in ebook form, though, it is still an enjoyable and light-hearted read.
I am grateful to Harvest and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this advance copy in exchange for my honest review.
January 30, 2026
Please enjoy this book. So much fun and honesty. I remember her video last May. Definitely a delightful and obviously much needed club. I’m 70 and find so much to relate to even now. My daughter and daughter-in-law are in their early 40s and I got each of them a copy. Also, this inspired me to be open with my daughter about my menopause journey and available to her. I’m so glad we can talk about all of this. I was lucky to have a good gyno back when I started going through all of the hot mess of peri/menopause. He was like, “Let’s get you some help so you can live your life without all these symptoms.”
It’s true that the other side can be a great place for creativity and a sense of freedom. I did go ahead and finally write that book and another one and got them published. I’m taking up tap dancing, too. Love those Irish tap-dancing brothers on Instagram.
Hope her book tour comes out to the west coast. I’ll be there!
It’s true that the other side can be a great place for creativity and a sense of freedom. I did go ahead and finally write that book and another one and got them published. I’m taking up tap dancing, too. Love those Irish tap-dancing brothers on Instagram.
Hope her book tour comes out to the west coast. I’ll be there!
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you to William Morrow for the gifted book.
The older I get, the more I get confused by my own body. The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook is a lighthearted book about peri, current, and post-menopause and filled with personal experiences about what all women may go through.
I enjoyed the personal vignettes, although I could have done with the word ‘coochie’ a lot less. But the first hand stories really resonated with me and made me feel like I was one of many and not alone in my bodily worries.
This is best read in physical form, as it includes lots of parts where you can write in your own experiences, which I think makes it an even more fulfilling read. Overall, this was fun and enjoyable and made me a little less scared for the future in my own body.
The older I get, the more I get confused by my own body. The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook is a lighthearted book about peri, current, and post-menopause and filled with personal experiences about what all women may go through.
I enjoyed the personal vignettes, although I could have done with the word ‘coochie’ a lot less. But the first hand stories really resonated with me and made me feel like I was one of many and not alone in my bodily worries.
This is best read in physical form, as it includes lots of parts where you can write in your own experiences, which I think makes it an even more fulfilling read. Overall, this was fun and enjoyable and made me a little less scared for the future in my own body.
January 17, 2026
Melani is a rock star. From the first WDNC Club video I caught on Facebook, to the People Magazine article, to the two days spent reading this handbook (I could have finished it in one sitting if I didn't have to go to work.), it's been an amazing ride.
Best parts of the handbook:
Lists of things we don't care much about anymore (I can't pick a favorite edition.).
Lists of Honorary WDNC Members Throughout History: What better way to empower women than by reminding us what those before us have accomplished.
Tidbits on Melani's personal journey.
The reason it's a 4.5/5:
The membership card, patches, excuse cards, and Pause Points Score Chart are all fun additions to the handbook, but I won't use them because I NEED TO PASS THIS BOOK ON TO EVERYONE I KNOW!
Best parts of the handbook:
Lists of things we don't care much about anymore (I can't pick a favorite edition.).
Lists of Honorary WDNC Members Throughout History: What better way to empower women than by reminding us what those before us have accomplished.
Tidbits on Melani's personal journey.
The reason it's a 4.5/5:
The membership card, patches, excuse cards, and Pause Points Score Chart are all fun additions to the handbook, but I won't use them because I NEED TO PASS THIS BOOK ON TO EVERYONE I KNOW!
January 28, 2026
I was introduced to Melani's instagram posts by another menopausal friend. Her posts are hilarious and so relatable. I love her story and am amazed at the huge support she has quickly gained around the world! I really liked listening to the audiobook because Melani reads the book. It feels like you are sitting down with Melani having a conversation and laughing about this time in life. The book did feel repetitive at times, the subject dragged for me and I didn't like some of the sex talk. Overall, it is light and fun, so don't take it too serious. It's full of a few facts about this time in life, also had good quotes to help women through the peri, menopause & post-menopausal time of life. "You got this girl!"
January 12, 2026
Synopsis: Melani Sanders started a movement called the “We Do Not Care club” after posting about her new found opinions during perimenopause. This book highlights that you are enough, not alone and how to cope with the changes during perimenopause.
Thoughts: I’ve followed Melani on Instagram for awhile and she is hilarious. I always find myself in agreement of most of the topics on her WDNC agenda. I did think this book would be better off read as a physical book vs and e-book, as there are places to write your own notes, cut out badges and lists etc.
Thank you to Melani Sanders, HarperCollins and NetGalley for the advanced e-book copy!
Thoughts: I’ve followed Melani on Instagram for awhile and she is hilarious. I always find myself in agreement of most of the topics on her WDNC agenda. I did think this book would be better off read as a physical book vs and e-book, as there are places to write your own notes, cut out badges and lists etc.
Thank you to Melani Sanders, HarperCollins and NetGalley for the advanced e-book copy!
January 26, 2026
Finally - Answers!
This is such a fantastic, no holds barred read. You will see yourself in it. The focus on peri/menipause, while central to the book, is not just information for management of women’s health, it's therapy in the best way possible. You will want to learn more because it serves as a jumping point to add clarity to this season of life. I wanted to get to this part of life so bad another friend warned there would be trade-offs. Well now that I'm here, and thanks to this book, it's not as scary anymore. Your soul will be soothed, your cup will fill a bit, and you might just pee a little thanks to laughter and joy.
This is such a fantastic, no holds barred read. You will see yourself in it. The focus on peri/menipause, while central to the book, is not just information for management of women’s health, it's therapy in the best way possible. You will want to learn more because it serves as a jumping point to add clarity to this season of life. I wanted to get to this part of life so bad another friend warned there would be trade-offs. Well now that I'm here, and thanks to this book, it's not as scary anymore. Your soul will be soothed, your cup will fill a bit, and you might just pee a little thanks to laughter and joy.
December 20, 2025
I found Melani's videos and have been cracking up about all the things We Do Not Care About anymore and was excited to see that she wrote a book. My favorite parts are really the lists of things We Do Not Care About but it was also fun to read about Melani's journey through perimenopause and other people's comments & stories. Hopefully all upcoming generations will know about what to expect far in advance instead of having women's experiences shushed away.
Thank you to the Publisher & NetGalley & the WDNCCs around the world.
Thank you to the Publisher & NetGalley & the WDNCCs around the world.
January 25, 2026
The We Do Not Care Handbook is a great read and full of laughs. The book provides testimonials of those who are in the trenches and serve as encouragement. Women are reminded to advocate for themselves and to keep going/replace doctors when doctors are not listening, which is important advice, but not always easy to execute. The book has excellent resources for anyone at any phase of the journey. The key reminder is to be true to yourself, be honest with yourself, and remember that this is a pivot- not the of your life. I highly recommend this book.
January 27, 2026
The official We Do Not Care Club Handbook is something this “older than dirt” reviewer would love to have had when my “change” began. It says what we all felt but were forbidden by society from discussing…except maybe with that special BFF. Melanie’s video posts have made all the members of the WDNC club lifetime BFFs! She tells women it’s okay to put oneself first on our list of those we nurture, and this book is full of examples of women who have. My review of this book from NetGalley is voluntary. Most highly recommend.
January 31, 2026
I recently won a final hardcover copy of this book in a Goodreads Giveaway and will be sharing with my sisters, as it’s absolutely hilarious and full of reassuring anecdotes and stories! I loved how real this book is, though given Melani’s TikToks and general online presence, I’m not surprised—she’s fantastic! This book is amazingly reaffirming and has made me feel more comfortable in my body and in my relationships with others. The playlists and other supports help make my day-to-day endurable and give me a true bounce to my step!
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