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The Man Who Forgot How to Read
The remarkable journey of an award-winning writer struck with a rare and devastating affliction that prevented him from reading even his own writing
One hot midsummer morning, novelist Howard Engel picked up his newspaper from his front step and discovered he could no longer read it. The letters had mysteriously jumbled themselves into something that looked like Cyrillic one moment and Korean the next. While he slept, Engel had experienced a stroke and now suffered from a rare condition called alexia sine agraphia, meaning that while he could still write, he could no longer read.
Over the next several weeks in hospital and in rehabilitation, Engel discovered that much more was affected than his ability to read. His memory failed him, and even the names of old friends escaped his tongue. At first geography eluded he would know that two streets met somewhere in the city, but he couldn’t imagine where. Apples and grapefruit now looked the same. When he returned home, he had trouble remembering where things went and would routinely ?nd cans of tuna in the dishwasher and jars of pencils in the freezer.
Despite his disabilities, Engel prepared to face his dilemma. He contacted renowned neurologist Dr. Oliver Sacks for advice and visited him in New York City, forging a lasting friendship. He bravely learned to read again. And in the face of tremendous obstacles, he triumphed in writing a new novel.
An absorbing and uplifting story, filled with sly wit and candid insights, The Man Who Forgot How to Read will appeal to anyone fascinated by the mysteries of the mind, on and off the page.
One hot midsummer morning, novelist Howard Engel picked up his newspaper from his front step and discovered he could no longer read it. The letters had mysteriously jumbled themselves into something that looked like Cyrillic one moment and Korean the next. While he slept, Engel had experienced a stroke and now suffered from a rare condition called alexia sine agraphia, meaning that while he could still write, he could no longer read.
Over the next several weeks in hospital and in rehabilitation, Engel discovered that much more was affected than his ability to read. His memory failed him, and even the names of old friends escaped his tongue. At first geography eluded he would know that two streets met somewhere in the city, but he couldn’t imagine where. Apples and grapefruit now looked the same. When he returned home, he had trouble remembering where things went and would routinely ?nd cans of tuna in the dishwasher and jars of pencils in the freezer.
Despite his disabilities, Engel prepared to face his dilemma. He contacted renowned neurologist Dr. Oliver Sacks for advice and visited him in New York City, forging a lasting friendship. He bravely learned to read again. And in the face of tremendous obstacles, he triumphed in writing a new novel.
An absorbing and uplifting story, filled with sly wit and candid insights, The Man Who Forgot How to Read will appeal to anyone fascinated by the mysteries of the mind, on and off the page.
176 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2007
31 people are currently reading
938 people want to read
About the author
Howard Engel
32 books29 followersHoward Engel was a pioneering, award-winning Canadian mystery and non-fiction author. He is famous for his Benny Cooperman private-eye series, set in the Niagara Region of Ontario.
He and Eric Wright are two of the authors responsible for founding Crime Writers Of Canada. He had twins Charlotte and William with authoress, Marian Engel. He has a son, Jacob, with his late wife, authoress Janet Hamilton: with whom he co-wrote "Murder In Space".
A stroke in 2001 famously caused "alexia sine agraphia". It was a disease that hampered Howard's ability to comprehend written words, even though he could continue to write! He retired in Toronto, where he continued to inspire and mentor future authors and writers of all kinds. Maureen Jennings, creator of the Murdoch novels and still-running television series, is among them.
Unfortunately, he died of pneumonia that arose after a stroke. True animal-lovers: Howard's beloved living cat, Kali, is included by their family in his obituary.
He and Eric Wright are two of the authors responsible for founding Crime Writers Of Canada. He had twins Charlotte and William with authoress, Marian Engel. He has a son, Jacob, with his late wife, authoress Janet Hamilton: with whom he co-wrote "Murder In Space".
A stroke in 2001 famously caused "alexia sine agraphia". It was a disease that hampered Howard's ability to comprehend written words, even though he could continue to write! He retired in Toronto, where he continued to inspire and mentor future authors and writers of all kinds. Maureen Jennings, creator of the Murdoch novels and still-running television series, is among them.
Unfortunately, he died of pneumonia that arose after a stroke. True animal-lovers: Howard's beloved living cat, Kali, is included by their family in his obituary.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 70 reviews
April 2, 2016
I don't usually read 'brain'-books. It is a phase I have left behind me. But since some of the problems this writer talks about resemble my own I was tempted.
Even though acquiring my brain injury is in my past, it still shapes my present. And I find, especially when meeting new people, that explaining the invisible after effects of my stroke are still quite impossible. So reading someone else's descriptions can sometimes be very helpful.
I didn't particularly like reading this book, for me, the story itself was of little interest. My focus was on particular details. How he describes how he experiences time, for instance. Or how he knows where certain streets are, but not know where they go.
And his problem with alexia, was mine, and where reading is now back on, I'm still below zero (pun intended) with numbers.
The afterword by Oliver Sacks moved me. 'It is a struggle that calls for heroic determination and courage, as well as great resourcefulness, patience and, not least, humour- simply to survive...'
That touched something in me as well. Because I agree. And am proud to survive. And thrive. And recognizing my own determination in making it so.
Ha. It is not very often that a book review ends in a proud statement about myself. But this one did. And it feels good.
Even though acquiring my brain injury is in my past, it still shapes my present. And I find, especially when meeting new people, that explaining the invisible after effects of my stroke are still quite impossible. So reading someone else's descriptions can sometimes be very helpful.
I didn't particularly like reading this book, for me, the story itself was of little interest. My focus was on particular details. How he describes how he experiences time, for instance. Or how he knows where certain streets are, but not know where they go.
And his problem with alexia, was mine, and where reading is now back on, I'm still below zero (pun intended) with numbers.
The afterword by Oliver Sacks moved me. 'It is a struggle that calls for heroic determination and courage, as well as great resourcefulness, patience and, not least, humour- simply to survive...'
That touched something in me as well. Because I agree. And am proud to survive. And thrive. And recognizing my own determination in making it so.
Ha. It is not very often that a book review ends in a proud statement about myself. But this one did. And it feels good.
February 28, 2009
Spoiled by Oliver Sacks' magnificent prose, I felt that Engel's memoir didn't quite measure up. Upon reflection, however, the amazing achievement of being able to continue writing after the stroke which led to his disability - alexia sine agraphia - overshadows any faults. Engels memoir is not only entertaining, it provides a unique perspective on what happens to stroke patients and how they handle lasting disability.
Read-alikes would include Bauby's The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Cytowicz' The Man Who Tasted Shapes, and of course, anything by Sacks, but especially A Leg to Stand On.
Read-alikes would include Bauby's The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Cytowicz' The Man Who Tasted Shapes, and of course, anything by Sacks, but especially A Leg to Stand On.
June 4, 2010
How do I give a lukewarm review to such an astounding and incredible story and author? It is indeed an incredible tale, but unfortunately it contains so many of Engel's acknowledged deficits that the prose is quite dry. Large elements are repeated across several chapters and the same analogies appear over and over.
The Oliver Sacks afterword is cleverly left until after you have worked through Engel's tale, and immediately reveals what was missing: a clinician's knowledge, comparison to others' experiences with alexia, and an editor's pen.
The Oliver Sacks afterword is cleverly left until after you have worked through Engel's tale, and immediately reveals what was missing: a clinician's knowledge, comparison to others' experiences with alexia, and an editor's pen.
May 25, 2010
Howard Engel...penulis fiksi kriminal yang begitu gemar membaca dan membaca adalah hidupnya tiba-tiba suatu hari karena stroke harus kehilangan kemampuan membacanya (Alexia Sine Agraphia). Bagaimana rasanya bila seorang penulis yang dalam pekerjaannya juga berhubungan dengan membaca untuk mengedit kembali tulisannya harus kembali belajar membaca seperti anak kecil?
Ketidak mampuan itu tidak menjadikan Howard putus asa. Selama dalam masa rehabilitasi Howard terus dan terus belajar untuk mendapatkan kembali kemampuannya dalam membaca dan mengingat nama, orang ataupun situasi dan kondisi yang mulai memudar. Perjuangan Howard tidak sia-sia dan itu dibuktikannya dengan peluncuran buku baru Benny Cooperman.
Menghadapi penyakitnya Howard begitu tenang dan bukannya loyo tapi malah semakin semangat bagaimana caranya untuk sembuh. Top lah...karena begitu cintanya dengan dunia baca dan menulis Howard tidak menyerah. Semoga buku ini bisa menginspirasi banyak orang bahwa menyerah dengan keadaan tidak baik dan lebih baik berusaha sampai titik darah penghabisan.
Ketidak mampuan itu tidak menjadikan Howard putus asa. Selama dalam masa rehabilitasi Howard terus dan terus belajar untuk mendapatkan kembali kemampuannya dalam membaca dan mengingat nama, orang ataupun situasi dan kondisi yang mulai memudar. Perjuangan Howard tidak sia-sia dan itu dibuktikannya dengan peluncuran buku baru Benny Cooperman.
Menghadapi penyakitnya Howard begitu tenang dan bukannya loyo tapi malah semakin semangat bagaimana caranya untuk sembuh. Top lah...karena begitu cintanya dengan dunia baca dan menulis Howard tidak menyerah. Semoga buku ini bisa menginspirasi banyak orang bahwa menyerah dengan keadaan tidak baik dan lebih baik berusaha sampai titik darah penghabisan.
December 31, 2011
Pretty amazing story.
What happens to a writer who suddenly learns that he can't read. One morning he gets up, picks up the paper and determines that it must be printed in a foreign language. It is subsequently determined that he had a stroke and was left with alexia - the ability to write but no longer able to read.
"When my mind froze up, writing can only be compared to trying to move a ton of raw liver uphill by hand."
Engel is a mystery writer and wonders how he is going to be able to earn a living if he can't read what he has written.
I thought his description of the time in the rehab center was excellent. How he learned to start finding his way around again, going to the grocery, going on a walk and being able to find his way back.
He was able to write a mystery story putting his protagonist, Bennie Cooperman, in the hospital. Not sure if he gave him alexia or not but did give him some form of mental illness or brain damage (probably temporary) and he has to resolve a mystery while in the hospital.
He apparently still has some problems but they are getting better and he is working with them.
And, Oliver Sacks wrote an afterword. Not sure if Engel was just told aobut Sacks or if he had known about him before his stroke. But somewhere in this process he wrote Sacks a letter and eventually went to visit him. Sacks also wrote an afterword for the mystery story, Memory Book: A Benny Cooperman Detective Novel.
What happens to a writer who suddenly learns that he can't read. One morning he gets up, picks up the paper and determines that it must be printed in a foreign language. It is subsequently determined that he had a stroke and was left with alexia - the ability to write but no longer able to read.
"When my mind froze up, writing can only be compared to trying to move a ton of raw liver uphill by hand."
Engel is a mystery writer and wonders how he is going to be able to earn a living if he can't read what he has written.
I thought his description of the time in the rehab center was excellent. How he learned to start finding his way around again, going to the grocery, going on a walk and being able to find his way back.
He was able to write a mystery story putting his protagonist, Bennie Cooperman, in the hospital. Not sure if he gave him alexia or not but did give him some form of mental illness or brain damage (probably temporary) and he has to resolve a mystery while in the hospital.
He apparently still has some problems but they are getting better and he is working with them.
And, Oliver Sacks wrote an afterword. Not sure if Engel was just told aobut Sacks or if he had known about him before his stroke. But somewhere in this process he wrote Sacks a letter and eventually went to visit him. Sacks also wrote an afterword for the mystery story, Memory Book: A Benny Cooperman Detective Novel.
February 27, 2009
This is a fascinating book on a number of levels. The whole concept and detailed description of the author's wrecked perception after his stroke was amazing and thought provoking. I also loved reading his thoughts and feelings about the writing process in general - both before and after the "insult" to his brain. It was a very quick and easy read, but one that left me pondering for a long time.
February 19, 2009
I couldn't get past the few few chapters. While I think the conversational tone is fine to use in writing, the author was too repetitive about inconsequential information. For instance, pointing out who Lolly was every time he used the name.
February 27, 2017
Howard was kind enough to talk to me about his journey after I lost the ability to read post stroke. Great man. Great writer.
April 19, 2010
-Aku kecanduan buku. Aku selalu membawa dua atau lebih buku di mana pun berada. Kantorku dipenuhi dengan rak buku. Aku kecanduan kata-kata yang dicetak- (p.7)
-Di mana pun aku menetap, di benua apapun, semua ruang horizontal sudah menyanggah tumpukan buku- (p.19)
-Alexia adalah duri utama untuk diriku. Sine agraphia merupakan cara yang ditawarkan untuk membuatku merasa nyaman. Aku serasa diberi tahu bahwa kaki kananku harus diamputasi tapi aku bisa menyimpan sepatu dan kaus kaki- p.39
Buku ini adalah sebuah memoar dari seorang penulis best-seller yang menderita penyakit, yang seakan menutup pintu utama ke dunianya.
Howard Engel gemar sekali membaca. Dalam beberapa kutipan di atas, nampak bahwa buku dan dirinya tak dapat dipisahkan. Seorang penulis umumnya adalah seorang yang gemar membaca, namun seorang pembaca tidak selalu suka/mampu menulis. Howard telah mencapai fase dapat menulis dengan baik, terbukti dari larisnya novel thriller yang ditulisnya.
Di suatu pagi, bangun dari tidurnya, tiba-tiba Howard tidak dapat membaca tulisan pada surat kabar langganannya. Seakan-akan itu adalah tulisan dari negara lain dengan bahasa lain. Namun yang salah ternyata bukan surat kabar itu. Howard pun mengalami hal yang sama untuk tulisan-tulisan lain yang ada di sekitarnya, besar ataupun kecil. Howard tidak buta, ia masih dapat melihat sinar mentari maupun orang-orang di sekitarnya, wslaupun gangguan itupun berkembang menjadi sulitnya ia membedakan atau mengenali wajah orang, bahkan sulit membedakan antara tomat dan jeruk.
Howard mendapatkan suatu penyakit yang disebut alexia sine agraphia akibat stroke yang menyerangnya. Penjelasan lebih lanjut tentang penyakit ini ada dalam buku ini. Gambarannya, Howard tak lagi dapat membaca, suatu hal yang sangat digemarinya, walaupun ia masih dapat menulis. Bayangkan, jika suatu hal sangat kita sukai, sudah mendarah daging, tiba-tiba direnggut dari kita oleh sebuah penyakit, bagaimana terguncangnya ? Aku sendiri yang bukan penulis profesional (lebih cenderung pada pembaca) kalaupun dihadapkan pada penyakit yang sama, bisa jadi stres. Guncangan yang dialami Howard lebih besar, karena meskipun ia masih dapat menulis, ia tidak akan dapat membaca maupun mengedit tulisannya yang seperti ceker ayam. Howard seolah menemui pintu yang tertutup untuk masa depan dan kebahagiaannya.
Bayangkan, seorang tukang pijat refleksi yang tiba-tiba tak dapat menggunakan tangannya, atau seorang penyanyi yang tiba-tiba suaranya hilang, atau seorang fotografer yang kehilangan penglihatannya ?
Masa-masa berat dialami Howard, kala ia menjalani terapi di rumah sakit, maupun menjalani hari-harinya di luar rumah sakit. Howard harus belajar dari awal lagi, dan menerjemahkan huruf dalam kata-kata seolah-olah itu relief dari tulisan zaman purbakala. Howard menghadapi itu semua dengan semangat dan emosi yang naik turun. Perjuangannya patut diacungi jempol.
Lalu apakah penglihatan Howard bisa kembali seperti semula ? Ataukah untuk selamanya Howard tak bisa membaca lagi ?
Jawabannya dapat ditemukan dalam buku ini. Perjalanan Howard diceritakan secara runtut, meski aku kurang mendapatkan sentuhan pribadi dalam buku ini. Bagaimana akhirnya Howard bisa lebih mengenali dirinya dan pekerjaannya melalui peristiwa ini.
Aku menjadi tahu bagaimana Howard menghadapinya, meskipun aku belum tahu apakah aku akan dapat menghadapinya sekuat Howard, jika saja aku mengalami yang sama ?
-Di mana pun aku menetap, di benua apapun, semua ruang horizontal sudah menyanggah tumpukan buku- (p.19)
-Alexia adalah duri utama untuk diriku. Sine agraphia merupakan cara yang ditawarkan untuk membuatku merasa nyaman. Aku serasa diberi tahu bahwa kaki kananku harus diamputasi tapi aku bisa menyimpan sepatu dan kaus kaki- p.39
Buku ini adalah sebuah memoar dari seorang penulis best-seller yang menderita penyakit, yang seakan menutup pintu utama ke dunianya.
Howard Engel gemar sekali membaca. Dalam beberapa kutipan di atas, nampak bahwa buku dan dirinya tak dapat dipisahkan. Seorang penulis umumnya adalah seorang yang gemar membaca, namun seorang pembaca tidak selalu suka/mampu menulis. Howard telah mencapai fase dapat menulis dengan baik, terbukti dari larisnya novel thriller yang ditulisnya.
Di suatu pagi, bangun dari tidurnya, tiba-tiba Howard tidak dapat membaca tulisan pada surat kabar langganannya. Seakan-akan itu adalah tulisan dari negara lain dengan bahasa lain. Namun yang salah ternyata bukan surat kabar itu. Howard pun mengalami hal yang sama untuk tulisan-tulisan lain yang ada di sekitarnya, besar ataupun kecil. Howard tidak buta, ia masih dapat melihat sinar mentari maupun orang-orang di sekitarnya, wslaupun gangguan itupun berkembang menjadi sulitnya ia membedakan atau mengenali wajah orang, bahkan sulit membedakan antara tomat dan jeruk.
Howard mendapatkan suatu penyakit yang disebut alexia sine agraphia akibat stroke yang menyerangnya. Penjelasan lebih lanjut tentang penyakit ini ada dalam buku ini. Gambarannya, Howard tak lagi dapat membaca, suatu hal yang sangat digemarinya, walaupun ia masih dapat menulis. Bayangkan, jika suatu hal sangat kita sukai, sudah mendarah daging, tiba-tiba direnggut dari kita oleh sebuah penyakit, bagaimana terguncangnya ? Aku sendiri yang bukan penulis profesional (lebih cenderung pada pembaca) kalaupun dihadapkan pada penyakit yang sama, bisa jadi stres. Guncangan yang dialami Howard lebih besar, karena meskipun ia masih dapat menulis, ia tidak akan dapat membaca maupun mengedit tulisannya yang seperti ceker ayam. Howard seolah menemui pintu yang tertutup untuk masa depan dan kebahagiaannya.
Bayangkan, seorang tukang pijat refleksi yang tiba-tiba tak dapat menggunakan tangannya, atau seorang penyanyi yang tiba-tiba suaranya hilang, atau seorang fotografer yang kehilangan penglihatannya ?
Masa-masa berat dialami Howard, kala ia menjalani terapi di rumah sakit, maupun menjalani hari-harinya di luar rumah sakit. Howard harus belajar dari awal lagi, dan menerjemahkan huruf dalam kata-kata seolah-olah itu relief dari tulisan zaman purbakala. Howard menghadapi itu semua dengan semangat dan emosi yang naik turun. Perjuangannya patut diacungi jempol.
Lalu apakah penglihatan Howard bisa kembali seperti semula ? Ataukah untuk selamanya Howard tak bisa membaca lagi ?
Jawabannya dapat ditemukan dalam buku ini. Perjalanan Howard diceritakan secara runtut, meski aku kurang mendapatkan sentuhan pribadi dalam buku ini. Bagaimana akhirnya Howard bisa lebih mengenali dirinya dan pekerjaannya melalui peristiwa ini.
Aku menjadi tahu bagaimana Howard menghadapinya, meskipun aku belum tahu apakah aku akan dapat menghadapinya sekuat Howard, jika saja aku mengalami yang sama ?
May 15, 2011
A fascinating glimpse at the struggles of a stroke victim suddenly stricken with a rare condition called 'alexia sine agraphia'.
Doesn't sound fascinating though, does it?! I thought so as well when I started this book snuggled into my bed - and was promptly asleep after 5 pages. (Books that are text book related have that effect on me unfortunately). So - note to self - don't read this one in bed.
So once I got to reading this one sitting up in a chair, the story was very revealing and very interesting. Alexia sine agraphia is a condition where you can write, but you can't read what you've written. It affects your ability to read - in essense, it becomes a very difficult procedure, if even one that you can conquer at all. In this case the stroke doesn't affect you at all bodily, it strikes you in your brain, specifically where you handle language.
What made this book so interesting was that the man the stroke happened to was a writer by trade. He's written many books - primarily a detective series following a specific character - and he happened to be a voracious reader... of everything. So when he woke up to the start of his stroke and he realized that his friends weren't pulling a world class joke by putting out a serbo-croatian paper on his front doorstep and that something was seriously wrong,he had the presense of mind to know it and head to the hospital. Then came the struggle to come back to a semblance of normalacy. It's that fight to become a shadow of your former self that makes this book a trully fascinating look at our inner workings of the mind.
Personally, I can't imagine loosing the ability to read. It is such a huge part of what I am and what I enjoy. So when you read someone else's struggle to overcome the handicap, you can't help but be amazed. I'll give you this much, Howard Engel is a fighter. He took the challenge head on and through hard work and a wonderful circle of friendly support, he has been able to continue with his writing career. It's inspiring to say the least.
Doesn't sound fascinating though, does it?! I thought so as well when I started this book snuggled into my bed - and was promptly asleep after 5 pages. (Books that are text book related have that effect on me unfortunately). So - note to self - don't read this one in bed.
So once I got to reading this one sitting up in a chair, the story was very revealing and very interesting. Alexia sine agraphia is a condition where you can write, but you can't read what you've written. It affects your ability to read - in essense, it becomes a very difficult procedure, if even one that you can conquer at all. In this case the stroke doesn't affect you at all bodily, it strikes you in your brain, specifically where you handle language.
What made this book so interesting was that the man the stroke happened to was a writer by trade. He's written many books - primarily a detective series following a specific character - and he happened to be a voracious reader... of everything. So when he woke up to the start of his stroke and he realized that his friends weren't pulling a world class joke by putting out a serbo-croatian paper on his front doorstep and that something was seriously wrong,he had the presense of mind to know it and head to the hospital. Then came the struggle to come back to a semblance of normalacy. It's that fight to become a shadow of your former self that makes this book a trully fascinating look at our inner workings of the mind.
Personally, I can't imagine loosing the ability to read. It is such a huge part of what I am and what I enjoy. So when you read someone else's struggle to overcome the handicap, you can't help but be amazed. I'll give you this much, Howard Engel is a fighter. He took the challenge head on and through hard work and a wonderful circle of friendly support, he has been able to continue with his writing career. It's inspiring to say the least.
May 6, 2015
The author, a writer of the Benny Cooperman series of detective novels had a stroke and was stricken with alexia - the inability to read, although he could still write, slightly restricted vision and a really bad memory. This book is the story of his time from the stroke until he had his first post-trauma novel published.
Its a slight book, very simply written (which I enjoyed) and somewhat repetitive. He's a brave man, one of life's 'triers', but the book would have been better off as an essay in a suitable magazine.
Five stars for courage, four stars in admiration, but three stars for enjoyment.
Its a slight book, very simply written (which I enjoyed) and somewhat repetitive. He's a brave man, one of life's 'triers', but the book would have been better off as an essay in a suitable magazine.
Five stars for courage, four stars in admiration, but three stars for enjoyment.
May 23, 2011
What is your passion life? What would you do if you could no longer do it? That was the case for Howard Engel, who is writes novels about crime. But one summer morning, he encounters he can no longer read. What would happen to him, his life, his passion?
This is a memoir based on his road to recovery from this rare medical condition after having a stroke. His challenges and his need to continue to write. I found it an easy and quick read. I better understand the challenges of having a stroke and all the physical and mental effort needed to perform simple daily activities. Kudos to Howard and wishing much success of his future novels.
This is a memoir based on his road to recovery from this rare medical condition after having a stroke. His challenges and his need to continue to write. I found it an easy and quick read. I better understand the challenges of having a stroke and all the physical and mental effort needed to perform simple daily activities. Kudos to Howard and wishing much success of his future novels.
May 3, 2023
RICK “SHAQ” GOLDSTEIN SAYS: “THE AUTHOR & I HAVE KNOWLEDGE BY EXPERIENCE, AND NO KNOWLEDGE BY DESCRIPTION CAN MATCH THIS.”
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Five-and-one-half years ago I almost died during brain tumor surgery. Going into brain surgery, you would think that my fear of dying was my biggest fear… but it wasn’t! I told my son Justin that I wasn’t afraid of dying, because I know I raised him correctly, and he became the man he is today… and being the man he became, I was prouder of him than anything I had ever done in my entire life… so I knew he would be ready to carry on. I also was able to say goodbye to him the way I wanted to, as the second’s ticked away leading to my surgery. A lot of people watch too many movies, so they think everybody gets to be like John Wayne… and get to give a big emotional speech as they die in someone’s arms. My absolute biggest fear… which I told my son, and my brain surgeon… is becoming a “vegetable”… or having this super-fast brain I was blessed with… locked in a body… and not be able to communicate. I made my son promise to tell me the truth, and not lie to me after the surgery, if I made it through, and couldn’t repeat certain key statistics to him such as all fourteen Major League ballplayer’s who won the triple crown.
I survived the surgery (I wasn’t told for three weeks about what really happened during the surgery.) despite some unexpected developments, including bleeding in the brain, which occurred during the surgery. When I was allowed to go home, I didn’t know what Jello was… I didn’t know what a lamp or dresser were… I didn’t know what a bagel was. And probably the most heart-wrenching memory “shortcoming” was that periodically I knew who Justin was… but I couldn’t remember that he was my son. It was the most frightening thing I had ever experienced… and remember I just went through major brain surgery. I had always felt such empathy for the poor human beings that suffered from the ever growing curse of Alzheimer’s disease. Many people wonder, “What does that feel like?” Here’s the best way I can explain it to you from firsthand knowledge: IT’S LIKE OPENING UP A FILE CABINET DRAWER TO GET SOME INFORMATION THAT’S IN A FILE FOLDER. YOU KNOW THE FILE FOLDER IS IN THERE… BUT THE DRAWER IS TWELVE INCHES DEEP… AND YOU CAN ONLY REACH IN TEN INCHES. IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW HARD YOU REACH… IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW HARD YOU STRETCH… YOU CANNOT REACH IT! That’s what it feels like, when your brain no longer automatically gives you information you know you have… but can’t get at.
The author, Canadian writer Howard Engel, is the creator of “the beloved detective Benny Cooperman series.” Howard did not have to count down the hours and minutes to brain surgery… he simply went to bed one night… woke up on July 31,2001, went to the front door to pickup his newspaper, “and it looked the way it always did in its make-up, pictures, assorted headlines and smaller captions. The only difference was that he could no longer read what they said. The letters looked like Cyrillic one moment and Korean the next. Where he could make out the text, the letters of the words appeared as though he was trying to make them out through a heat haze; the letters wobbled and changed shape as I attempted to make them out.” He was put in the hospital and was diagnosed as having had a stroke, which resulted in alexia sine agraphia, which means he can still write… but he can’t read… what he just wrote!
Howard leads you through a very brief tour of his early life in which he informs the reader that his absolute greatest passion in life has always been reading. Now, about the stroke he says: “which put us out of the writing business by robbing me of the thing I loved above all things: the ability to read.” To me, the real benefit to potential readers, is understanding a phrase I learned in a book written by a religious author, who stated one of the first steps in coming back from a major health/physical setback, is “ACCEPTING THE NEW NORMAL”, and Howard shares his courageous adjustments utilizing the same theory. Howard finds out that in addition to not being able to read… he can’t seem to remember people’s names and match them with faces. He experiences the EXACT SAME HEARTBREAK AS I DID with his son Jacob. “When asked, I think I was unable to pinpoint my exact relationship to Jacob, which puzzled me more than it alarmed me.”
Howard starts devising tricks to help his memory of people’s names… which offices to get to by remembering pictures on the wall… he overcame his initial fear of using a computer again, and has worked extremely hard to identify patterns in words to slooowwwlllly identify them. Howard has not only written the book I’m reviewing, but he has painstakingly taken this horrifying personal experience, and used characters and knowledge he’s picked up along the way, to write a new Benny Cooperman book, built around a plot in which Benny has a serious brain injury, and has to solve the mystery of how he wound up in the hospital, without leaving the grounds.
I feel this very short book would be very helpful to any patient or family member that is facing brain surgery, or overcoming any type of stroke. It gives hope and guidance without a single instruction… Howard just shares with readers the notes he took along the way. And by the way… I am cancer and tumor free five-and-a-half-years later… and MY SON JUSTIN is my best friend in the world! I have been blessed!
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Five-and-one-half years ago I almost died during brain tumor surgery. Going into brain surgery, you would think that my fear of dying was my biggest fear… but it wasn’t! I told my son Justin that I wasn’t afraid of dying, because I know I raised him correctly, and he became the man he is today… and being the man he became, I was prouder of him than anything I had ever done in my entire life… so I knew he would be ready to carry on. I also was able to say goodbye to him the way I wanted to, as the second’s ticked away leading to my surgery. A lot of people watch too many movies, so they think everybody gets to be like John Wayne… and get to give a big emotional speech as they die in someone’s arms. My absolute biggest fear… which I told my son, and my brain surgeon… is becoming a “vegetable”… or having this super-fast brain I was blessed with… locked in a body… and not be able to communicate. I made my son promise to tell me the truth, and not lie to me after the surgery, if I made it through, and couldn’t repeat certain key statistics to him such as all fourteen Major League ballplayer’s who won the triple crown.
I survived the surgery (I wasn’t told for three weeks about what really happened during the surgery.) despite some unexpected developments, including bleeding in the brain, which occurred during the surgery. When I was allowed to go home, I didn’t know what Jello was… I didn’t know what a lamp or dresser were… I didn’t know what a bagel was. And probably the most heart-wrenching memory “shortcoming” was that periodically I knew who Justin was… but I couldn’t remember that he was my son. It was the most frightening thing I had ever experienced… and remember I just went through major brain surgery. I had always felt such empathy for the poor human beings that suffered from the ever growing curse of Alzheimer’s disease. Many people wonder, “What does that feel like?” Here’s the best way I can explain it to you from firsthand knowledge: IT’S LIKE OPENING UP A FILE CABINET DRAWER TO GET SOME INFORMATION THAT’S IN A FILE FOLDER. YOU KNOW THE FILE FOLDER IS IN THERE… BUT THE DRAWER IS TWELVE INCHES DEEP… AND YOU CAN ONLY REACH IN TEN INCHES. IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW HARD YOU REACH… IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW HARD YOU STRETCH… YOU CANNOT REACH IT! That’s what it feels like, when your brain no longer automatically gives you information you know you have… but can’t get at.
The author, Canadian writer Howard Engel, is the creator of “the beloved detective Benny Cooperman series.” Howard did not have to count down the hours and minutes to brain surgery… he simply went to bed one night… woke up on July 31,2001, went to the front door to pickup his newspaper, “and it looked the way it always did in its make-up, pictures, assorted headlines and smaller captions. The only difference was that he could no longer read what they said. The letters looked like Cyrillic one moment and Korean the next. Where he could make out the text, the letters of the words appeared as though he was trying to make them out through a heat haze; the letters wobbled and changed shape as I attempted to make them out.” He was put in the hospital and was diagnosed as having had a stroke, which resulted in alexia sine agraphia, which means he can still write… but he can’t read… what he just wrote!
Howard leads you through a very brief tour of his early life in which he informs the reader that his absolute greatest passion in life has always been reading. Now, about the stroke he says: “which put us out of the writing business by robbing me of the thing I loved above all things: the ability to read.” To me, the real benefit to potential readers, is understanding a phrase I learned in a book written by a religious author, who stated one of the first steps in coming back from a major health/physical setback, is “ACCEPTING THE NEW NORMAL”, and Howard shares his courageous adjustments utilizing the same theory. Howard finds out that in addition to not being able to read… he can’t seem to remember people’s names and match them with faces. He experiences the EXACT SAME HEARTBREAK AS I DID with his son Jacob. “When asked, I think I was unable to pinpoint my exact relationship to Jacob, which puzzled me more than it alarmed me.”
Howard starts devising tricks to help his memory of people’s names… which offices to get to by remembering pictures on the wall… he overcame his initial fear of using a computer again, and has worked extremely hard to identify patterns in words to slooowwwlllly identify them. Howard has not only written the book I’m reviewing, but he has painstakingly taken this horrifying personal experience, and used characters and knowledge he’s picked up along the way, to write a new Benny Cooperman book, built around a plot in which Benny has a serious brain injury, and has to solve the mystery of how he wound up in the hospital, without leaving the grounds.
I feel this very short book would be very helpful to any patient or family member that is facing brain surgery, or overcoming any type of stroke. It gives hope and guidance without a single instruction… Howard just shares with readers the notes he took along the way. And by the way… I am cancer and tumor free five-and-a-half-years later… and MY SON JUSTIN is my best friend in the world! I have been blessed!
June 19, 2015
Mr. Engel deduced that he had had a stroke one morning as he looked at his newspaper and saw hieroglyphs instead of words. The interesting feature of this condition was/is that he could still write while not being able to read what was just written.
Interesting to folks interested in brain dysfunctions and recuperation and adjustment to brain damage.
Interesting to folks interested in brain dysfunctions and recuperation and adjustment to brain damage.
July 15, 2008
enjoyable. not an oliver sacks book, but still an interesting step into neurology for the non-scientist!
November 21, 2017
Another book that got picked up because I was too lazy to move from where I was sitting. Although it was sitting nearby because I had selected it from a stack of my mother's books as one I wanted to read instead of just pass on to others. The title of the book made this in a way a horror story for me, because I have been reading non-stop since I was 3 years old and being unable to read is one of my all-time greatest fears. I had eye surgery last year because my reading was being affected by a vision problem enough to outweigh my fears of the surgery going wrong. Also, I read for my job, but that was secondary to my reading for pleasure.
This tells the story of a man who had a small localized stroke that resulted in him being unable to read, although he could still write. This man was a novelist, so it was a problem for him. He also had memory impairments and a general sense of detachment that made him struggle to think critically. This is his story of putting the pieces back together and even being able to write another novel, although it has not been easy. He talks of still having to sound out words letter by letter. Still, he compulsively buys books just as before the stroke, even though he struggles to read them. The account was well-written and interesting and accessible and it was a quick and humorous read. (His sense of humor never failed him -- in the diary entry written just a few days after the stroke, he stated that his weekend out of town had been canceled due to weather "stayed home and had a stroke instead.") I am actually interested now in reading his mysteries, particularly the one written after the stroke in which the protagonist deals with the effects of a head injury.
I also found it interesting to read this book because my mother had underlined or highlighted some passages and she has been dealing with memory loss in the last few years, so I got some insight into her perspective on things.
This tells the story of a man who had a small localized stroke that resulted in him being unable to read, although he could still write. This man was a novelist, so it was a problem for him. He also had memory impairments and a general sense of detachment that made him struggle to think critically. This is his story of putting the pieces back together and even being able to write another novel, although it has not been easy. He talks of still having to sound out words letter by letter. Still, he compulsively buys books just as before the stroke, even though he struggles to read them. The account was well-written and interesting and accessible and it was a quick and humorous read. (His sense of humor never failed him -- in the diary entry written just a few days after the stroke, he stated that his weekend out of town had been canceled due to weather "stayed home and had a stroke instead.") I am actually interested now in reading his mysteries, particularly the one written after the stroke in which the protagonist deals with the effects of a head injury.
I also found it interesting to read this book because my mother had underlined or highlighted some passages and she has been dealing with memory loss in the last few years, so I got some insight into her perspective on things.
July 18, 2018
I didn't learn to read until I started school, but once I began reading, I haven't stopped. I almost always have something nearby that I'm reading, and my appetite for reading shows no signs of waning. So the idea that I might somehow 'forget' how to read is completely alien and, frankly, a bit terrifying.
But that's exactly what happened to novelist Howard Engel after suffering a minor stroke. The brain damage caused by the stroke gave him alexia, an inability to process visual data related to letters and words. It doesn't impact the language centers of the brain, so he could still understand words and could even write, but he found that he simply could not read.
This memoir tells how this life-long reader learned to cope with a sudden inability to read, and how he was able to find ways to work around the impacts of his stroke to continue his career as a writer. His story is told with candor and humor, and shows how attitude can impact how we cope with sudden changes in our abilities. Life changes, but we can adapt and thrive even so. And while the idea of not being able to read is still discomforting, it is good to know that one can learn to adapt to such a situation.
But that's exactly what happened to novelist Howard Engel after suffering a minor stroke. The brain damage caused by the stroke gave him alexia, an inability to process visual data related to letters and words. It doesn't impact the language centers of the brain, so he could still understand words and could even write, but he found that he simply could not read.
This memoir tells how this life-long reader learned to cope with a sudden inability to read, and how he was able to find ways to work around the impacts of his stroke to continue his career as a writer. His story is told with candor and humor, and shows how attitude can impact how we cope with sudden changes in our abilities. Life changes, but we can adapt and thrive even so. And while the idea of not being able to read is still discomforting, it is good to know that one can learn to adapt to such a situation.
October 13, 2022
I am drawn to biographies and brain books, and this is both without getting too technical or lost in the science. I was honored to meet Oliver Sacks many years ago after reading many of his works, and I loved Engel's descriptions of Dr. Sacks and also his words in the Afterword. I was not familiar with Howard Engel before this, but I felt connected to him as he told his story, and I will look up his novels in just a moment.
The writing got better and better as the book concluded, almost like we walked through some of his brain healing along with him. He is not prideful, as are many that write memoirs. Reading this book was like interviewing an old friend and letting him tell me his experience with this stroke. I found it very enjoyable. His symptoms did improve but did not go away, yet he kept moving forward.
The writing got better and better as the book concluded, almost like we walked through some of his brain healing along with him. He is not prideful, as are many that write memoirs. Reading this book was like interviewing an old friend and letting him tell me his experience with this stroke. I found it very enjoyable. His symptoms did improve but did not go away, yet he kept moving forward.
March 31, 2019
I found this memoir very interesting to read. Although I do not have the makings of a psychologist in me, I am always interested in learning about another person's mind and what makes them tick. I love reading, so I was able to develop an immediate connection to Mr. Engel when I read about his own adoration of the written word. I was also able to understand a bit of his frustration and dejection when he learned that he could still write, but not read. After all, reading is the essence of writing, so how is one supposed to write without being able to read?
I think that Harper Lee's words about reading from To Kill a Mockingbird perfectly complements what reading means to people like Howard Engel: ���Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing.” I feel that way too.
I think that Mr. Engel was very brave and very determined to have been able to write two very good books after his peculiar stroke. Also, I am extremely interested in the Benny Cooperman detective novels now. It's not every day that you get to learn about a character and his background from his creator before you actually meet him in his element. I do hope that my local library has/gets some Benny Cooperman novels. I can't wait to meet him!
I think that Harper Lee's words about reading from To Kill a Mockingbird perfectly complements what reading means to people like Howard Engel: ���Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing.” I feel that way too.
I think that Mr. Engel was very brave and very determined to have been able to write two very good books after his peculiar stroke. Also, I am extremely interested in the Benny Cooperman detective novels now. It's not every day that you get to learn about a character and his background from his creator before you actually meet him in his element. I do hope that my local library has/gets some Benny Cooperman novels. I can't wait to meet him!
Read
May 17, 2021CBC
June 24th 2005
Author Howard Engel learns to read again
The Story
It was a cruel fate for a man who made his living as a writer. In 2000, mystery author Howard Engel suffered a stroke which brought on a rare neurological condition: he could no longer read, even as his ability to write remained intact.
Now, five years later, Engel is back on his way to being able to read, and has also published a new novel.
Memory Book is his 11th entry in the Benny Cooperman mystery series. In this clip from CBC-TV, he talks to Hana Gartner about recovering his ability to read and how he managed to write a new novel.
https://www.cbc.ca/archives/entry/aut...
June 24th 2005
Author Howard Engel learns to read again
The Story
It was a cruel fate for a man who made his living as a writer. In 2000, mystery author Howard Engel suffered a stroke which brought on a rare neurological condition: he could no longer read, even as his ability to write remained intact.
Now, five years later, Engel is back on his way to being able to read, and has also published a new novel.
Memory Book is his 11th entry in the Benny Cooperman mystery series. In this clip from CBC-TV, he talks to Hana Gartner about recovering his ability to read and how he managed to write a new novel.
https://www.cbc.ca/archives/entry/aut...
April 12, 2020
Very interesting read on someone who had a stroke and lost the ability to read, and yet could write no problem. Alexia is a condition when there is a damage in the area of the occipital cortex in the brain. Brain is such a fascinating organ.
August 8, 2017
I found this book to be rather "ho hum" at the best of times. What really clinched it for me is when he referred to the Nurses and Residents doing rounds with the Physician as "inferior beings". I myself am a Nurse and we work as a team. I don't for a minute consider anyone involved in the team as a "lesser being".
July 27, 2018
An interesting story. Loved the Oliver Sacks cameo.
August 13, 2019
Very interesting insight into our maleable brain. How a writer lost his ability to read but became a writer again and lived productively for another 18 years with his disability.
August 26, 2023
I had high expectations about this kind of memoire after reading and loving Brain on Fire. This was an interesting concept, but largely repetitive and slow. The afterword was the best part.
November 4, 2023
Interesting, because I didn't know this condition was possible (until I read about Engel in an Oliver Sachs book), and it's truly amazing that Engel was able to continue his career as a writer.
June 19, 2024
3 stars… Had to read for class. Interesting but nothing special
May 1, 2025
Interesting and somewhat miraculous story of a writer whose stroke leaves him unable to read. The degree of recovery is remarkable.
May 4, 2025
It's a fascinating story, but unfortunately the stroke he had causes his writing style to suffer. The story is pretty disjointed.
May 16, 2025
Well done!
Well done - fascinating story. Was so impressed with his calm acceptance and dogged persistence. I thought of Dr Sacks and was glad to see him mentioned.
Well done - fascinating story. Was so impressed with his calm acceptance and dogged persistence. I thought of Dr Sacks and was glad to see him mentioned.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 70 reviews