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The Light Switch Myth: A beginner's guide to creating realistic and sustainable change
The Light Switch Myth challenges the idea that change should be instant, permanent, and all-or-nothing. Drawing from my own lived experiences, alongside my understanding of multiple therapeutic approaches and proven models of change, it blends personal stories, compassionate insights, with practical evidence based strategies to create a new vision of what sustainable transformation looks like.
This book is for anyone who has felt defeated by “quick fix” promises or overwhelmed by the pressure to do everything at once. Instead, it offers a gentler path: one step at a time, rooted in self-compassion, flexibility, and realistic tools that actually last. It can be a starting place to shift away from perfectionism, harsh inner dialogue, and unrealistic expectations of what real change looks like. I have travelled this path and know it is possible to integrate new approaches and strategies that are kinder, more sustainable, and ultimately more rewarding. I wrote this book to help others who struggle in the ways I once did and sometimes still do.
Inside, not only will you learn about the origin and cost of some of our unhelpful and limiting beliefs and strategies but you will find encouragement, relatable examples, and small practices that help you trust yourself, quiet shame, and create meaningful progress without burning out.
Key themes of the book are:
~The relationship we have with ourselves is foundational to quality of life and quality of connection with others Learning to respond to ourselves with ~Compassion and unconditional love is possible and does make a difference.
~Change/growth is non linear
~Shame, guilt, perfectionism block progress and they do not actually work as a motivator
~Personalizing our efforts based on our own values and internal feedback lends to change being meaningful , sustainable, and often enjoyable
~Small steady shifts/steps work better and faster than big leaps/overhaul
~Choosing support and resources that mirror compassionate approaches is more effective than those that pressure or make false promises/exaggerated claims.
We all hope for support, encouragement, and understanding from others, but what if we could also learn how to provide that to ourselves, particularly when we are struggling to create change, grow, or heal in ways that are important to us. What if we aligned our efforts towards growth and change to our own personal values and heart felt desires. What if we learned to listen to our inner guide to find what is a fit for us and personalized our plans so that they embody our likes, want, and needs. And what if we felt deeply grounded in the truth that we are worthy and good enough just the way we are so that our efforts towards change rise up from hopes and not from feeling we have to be better.
This book is for anyone who has felt defeated by “quick fix” promises or overwhelmed by the pressure to do everything at once. Instead, it offers a gentler path: one step at a time, rooted in self-compassion, flexibility, and realistic tools that actually last. It can be a starting place to shift away from perfectionism, harsh inner dialogue, and unrealistic expectations of what real change looks like. I have travelled this path and know it is possible to integrate new approaches and strategies that are kinder, more sustainable, and ultimately more rewarding. I wrote this book to help others who struggle in the ways I once did and sometimes still do.
Inside, not only will you learn about the origin and cost of some of our unhelpful and limiting beliefs and strategies but you will find encouragement, relatable examples, and small practices that help you trust yourself, quiet shame, and create meaningful progress without burning out.
Key themes of the book are:
~The relationship we have with ourselves is foundational to quality of life and quality of connection with others Learning to respond to ourselves with ~Compassion and unconditional love is possible and does make a difference.
~Change/growth is non linear
~Shame, guilt, perfectionism block progress and they do not actually work as a motivator
~Personalizing our efforts based on our own values and internal feedback lends to change being meaningful , sustainable, and often enjoyable
~Small steady shifts/steps work better and faster than big leaps/overhaul
~Choosing support and resources that mirror compassionate approaches is more effective than those that pressure or make false promises/exaggerated claims.
We all hope for support, encouragement, and understanding from others, but what if we could also learn how to provide that to ourselves, particularly when we are struggling to create change, grow, or heal in ways that are important to us. What if we aligned our efforts towards growth and change to our own personal values and heart felt desires. What if we learned to listen to our inner guide to find what is a fit for us and personalized our plans so that they embody our likes, want, and needs. And what if we felt deeply grounded in the truth that we are worthy and good enough just the way we are so that our efforts towards change rise up from hopes and not from feeling we have to be better.
- GenresSelf Help
221 pages, ebook
Published September 8, 2025
2 people are currently reading
662 people want to read
About the author
Kerisma Vere
2 books19 followersKerisma Vere is a writer and coach based in Aldergrove, British Columbia. Her work is rooted in both personal transformation and a passion for helping others develop a kinder, more compassionate relationship with themselves — a shift she believes leads to stronger connections with others and a richer quality of life.
Kerisma has always loved the outdoors, and in more recent years can be found on her mat at the gym or diving into a good book. She brings lived experience and formal training to her work, holding certifications as a personal trainer and in nutrition, alongside a college education. With integrity, compassion, and a deep belief in paying it forward, Kerisma writes with honesty and heart about what it means to create lasting, sustainable change.
Her personal history includes trauma, struggles with mental health, and addiction — experiences that have shaped her voice as both coach and author. Through years of recovery, she has discovered meaningful and sustainable ways of healing, which inform the wisdom and compassion woven throughout her writing.
Kerisma has always loved the outdoors, and in more recent years can be found on her mat at the gym or diving into a good book. She brings lived experience and formal training to her work, holding certifications as a personal trainer and in nutrition, alongside a college education. With integrity, compassion, and a deep belief in paying it forward, Kerisma writes with honesty and heart about what it means to create lasting, sustainable change.
Her personal history includes trauma, struggles with mental health, and addiction — experiences that have shaped her voice as both coach and author. Through years of recovery, she has discovered meaningful and sustainable ways of healing, which inform the wisdom and compassion woven throughout her writing.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
November 3, 2025
empowering
I picked up The Light Switch Myth because I’m tired of books that promise “instant transformation” and leave you feeling like a failure when life doesn’t magically shift overnight. This book is the opposite of all that fluff — and honestly, it’s exactly what I needed.
Kerisma Vere writes in a way that feels like sitting down with a wise friend who gets it. There’s no judgment, no pressure to be perfect, no unrealistic “just flip a switch and change your life” pep talk. Instead, she breaks change down into small, human steps and encourages grace along the way. I found myself underlining so many lines because they hit right where they needed to.
What I loved most was the honesty. Change isn’t instant, and she doesn’t pretend it is — but she shows how it is absolutely possible, and sustainable, when you build it the right way. It left me feeling hopeful and actually excited to make progress instead of overwhelmed.
If you’ve ever tried to improve your life and felt frustrated or stuck, read this. It’s gentle, empowering, and practical — and I genuinely feel lighter, more capable, and more patient with myself after finishing it.
Highly recommend. 💛
I picked up The Light Switch Myth because I’m tired of books that promise “instant transformation” and leave you feeling like a failure when life doesn’t magically shift overnight. This book is the opposite of all that fluff — and honestly, it’s exactly what I needed.
Kerisma Vere writes in a way that feels like sitting down with a wise friend who gets it. There’s no judgment, no pressure to be perfect, no unrealistic “just flip a switch and change your life” pep talk. Instead, she breaks change down into small, human steps and encourages grace along the way. I found myself underlining so many lines because they hit right where they needed to.
What I loved most was the honesty. Change isn’t instant, and she doesn’t pretend it is — but she shows how it is absolutely possible, and sustainable, when you build it the right way. It left me feeling hopeful and actually excited to make progress instead of overwhelmed.
If you’ve ever tried to improve your life and felt frustrated or stuck, read this. It’s gentle, empowering, and practical — and I genuinely feel lighter, more capable, and more patient with myself after finishing it.
Highly recommend. 💛
October 3, 2025
Book Review – The Light Switch Myth: A Beginner’s Guide to Creating Realistic and Sustainable Change by Kerisma A. Vere
Kerisma A. Vere’s The Light Switch Myth is a compassionate, insightful guide for anyone who has ever felt defeated by the false promise of “overnight transformation.” Instead of offering yet another rigid system or quick-fix formula, Vere invites readers to take a gentler, more human approach to change—one rooted in self-compassion, values, and sustainability.
What makes this book stand out is its honesty. Vere acknowledges the pressure we place on ourselves—the perfectionism, the spirals of shame, the disappointment when results don’t come quickly—and dismantles the myth that real growth can be flipped on like a light switch. Through personal recovery stories, professional coaching insights, and trauma-informed practices, she provides tools and reflective prompts that help readers understand why change often feels so difficult and how to approach it differently.
The book shines in its use of original imagery and relatable constructs, making complex concepts feel accessible. Instead of dictating one “right way,” it empowers readers to design their own path, creating supportive structures while nurturing inner motivation and worth.
Warmly written and deeply practical, The Light Switch Myth is not just about creating change—it’s about changing the way we relate to change. It’s perfect for anyone tired of unrealistic expectations and ready to embrace growth that is slow, steady, and truly sustainable.
Kerisma A. Vere’s The Light Switch Myth is a compassionate, insightful guide for anyone who has ever felt defeated by the false promise of “overnight transformation.” Instead of offering yet another rigid system or quick-fix formula, Vere invites readers to take a gentler, more human approach to change—one rooted in self-compassion, values, and sustainability.
What makes this book stand out is its honesty. Vere acknowledges the pressure we place on ourselves—the perfectionism, the spirals of shame, the disappointment when results don’t come quickly—and dismantles the myth that real growth can be flipped on like a light switch. Through personal recovery stories, professional coaching insights, and trauma-informed practices, she provides tools and reflective prompts that help readers understand why change often feels so difficult and how to approach it differently.
The book shines in its use of original imagery and relatable constructs, making complex concepts feel accessible. Instead of dictating one “right way,” it empowers readers to design their own path, creating supportive structures while nurturing inner motivation and worth.
Warmly written and deeply practical, The Light Switch Myth is not just about creating change—it’s about changing the way we relate to change. It’s perfect for anyone tired of unrealistic expectations and ready to embrace growth that is slow, steady, and truly sustainable.
November 1, 2025
Deconstructing the Cultural Narrative of Instantaneous Transformation
Kerisma Vere's "The Light Switch Myth" offers a critical and necessary deconstruction of the pervasive, yet flawed, model of change as an immediate, binary event. This work is a sophisticated synthesis of personal narrative and psychological insight that posits a more humane and sustainable paradigm for personal growth.
Vere's thesis is compelling: the societal emphasis on rapid, total transformation is not only ineffective but actively harmful, fostering a cycle of perfectionism, shame, and eventual disillusionment. She systematically argues that these forces are counterproductive as motivators, instead serving as the primary barriers to genuine progress.
The book's intellectual contribution lies in its framework for a values-based, iterative process of change. Vere asserts that growth is inherently non-linear and that its sustainability is derived from aligning efforts with intrinsic personal values rather than external, punishing metrics. The methodology championed is one of cumulative micro-shifts, grounded in self-compassion and internal feedback, which ultimately prove more efficient and resilient than grandiose, all-or-nothing gestures.
This is a vital read for those seeking to replace the exhausting pursuit of quick fixes with a deeply integrated, self-determined, and intellectually coherent approach to transformation.
Kerisma Vere's "The Light Switch Myth" offers a critical and necessary deconstruction of the pervasive, yet flawed, model of change as an immediate, binary event. This work is a sophisticated synthesis of personal narrative and psychological insight that posits a more humane and sustainable paradigm for personal growth.
Vere's thesis is compelling: the societal emphasis on rapid, total transformation is not only ineffective but actively harmful, fostering a cycle of perfectionism, shame, and eventual disillusionment. She systematically argues that these forces are counterproductive as motivators, instead serving as the primary barriers to genuine progress.
The book's intellectual contribution lies in its framework for a values-based, iterative process of change. Vere asserts that growth is inherently non-linear and that its sustainability is derived from aligning efforts with intrinsic personal values rather than external, punishing metrics. The methodology championed is one of cumulative micro-shifts, grounded in self-compassion and internal feedback, which ultimately prove more efficient and resilient than grandiose, all-or-nothing gestures.
This is a vital read for those seeking to replace the exhausting pursuit of quick fixes with a deeply integrated, self-determined, and intellectually coherent approach to transformation.
October 12, 2025
The Light Switch Myth is a very inviting and accessible read. The book has a decisively safe, non-judgemental tone that is perfect for the genre. Kerisma does a great job of breaking intimidating concepts into easy-to-understand ideas by using metaphors and down-to-earth anecdotes. Even when I was reading at the end of a long day, I was able to process and internalize what I was reading, which I think is a very helpful quality for a self-help book. Throughout the book she also incorporates gentle and thought-provoking reflection exercises which meaningfully add to the rest of the book.
My main complaint is that the first half of the book, which focuses on unpacking the Light Switch Myth, is fairly repetitive/redundant - I think the same information could have been effectively conveyed in half as many words. I personally have little patience for reading the same thing five times over. But perhaps for other readers, that could provide helpful emphasis for remembering new concepts and ideas.
Overall, I would certainly recommend The Light Switch Myth as an accessible way to dip your toes into self-improvement and personal growth, especially if you've never tried therapy or counselling before.
My main complaint is that the first half of the book, which focuses on unpacking the Light Switch Myth, is fairly repetitive/redundant - I think the same information could have been effectively conveyed in half as many words. I personally have little patience for reading the same thing five times over. But perhaps for other readers, that could provide helpful emphasis for remembering new concepts and ideas.
Overall, I would certainly recommend The Light Switch Myth as an accessible way to dip your toes into self-improvement and personal growth, especially if you've never tried therapy or counselling before.
November 20, 2025
The Light Switch Myth by Kerisma Vere is a wonderful, helpful volume of how to implement change for self-improvement. Wanting to change easy. But actually doing it, and staying that way, can be very difficult. This book explores the “how” of implementing change and tips to uphold once accomplished. The talented author highlights challenges to change, such as old habits, pain, and pressure. The author also does a brilliant job of breaking down the Five Responses to change, such as “Reactionary” and “Intentional” among others. I like how the book begins with a self-assessment to help establish a foundation of where you stand before the attempt to change. I also enjoyed how the book describes how we inherit concepts of change through expectation (for example, from parents). One of the most helpful chapters was Five that discusses shame and getting stuck. The section on believing something is wrong with us if we can’t change is insightful and showcases the author’s extensive experience and guidance for moving forward. Overall, a great guide and tool for those who seek self-improvement and the means for getting there through real change.
Want to read
October 20, 2025I came across The Light Switch Myth while browsing one of my favorite Listopia collections, and I’m so glad I did. From the very first chapter, Kerisma Vere’s voice felt refreshingly human, grounded, insightful, and deeply relatable.
So many books on personal growth promise “instant transformation,” but this one stands out because it dismantles that illusion. Vere reminds us that real change isn’t a dramatic overnight switch, it’s a steady process of awareness, compassion, and consistency. I found myself nodding along to the metaphors, especially the way she reframed failure and progress.
What I love most is how the author doesn’t speak at you; she speaks with you. Her approach is both practical and encouraging, and it left me feeling lighter, more self aware, and surprisingly patient with my own growth journey.
If you’re tired of unrealistic “quick fix” self help books and want something that actually honors the messy, beautiful process of becoming, this is the one. It’s earned its place on my favorite Listopia for a reason.
So many books on personal growth promise “instant transformation,” but this one stands out because it dismantles that illusion. Vere reminds us that real change isn’t a dramatic overnight switch, it’s a steady process of awareness, compassion, and consistency. I found myself nodding along to the metaphors, especially the way she reframed failure and progress.
What I love most is how the author doesn’t speak at you; she speaks with you. Her approach is both practical and encouraging, and it left me feeling lighter, more self aware, and surprisingly patient with my own growth journey.
If you’re tired of unrealistic “quick fix” self help books and want something that actually honors the messy, beautiful process of becoming, this is the one. It’s earned its place on my favorite Listopia for a reason.
November 3, 2025
Change comes in small steps
The best advice for how to navigate a situation comes from those who have already done it. This book offers excellent guidance from someone who has struggled with substance abuse, relationship issues, weight management, etc. and successfully brought herself to a better place. The author reflects on her “lived experiences” and discusses relevant research from professionals like Dr. Kristen Neff and Dr. Gabor Mate. In the book, readers are shown a compassionate pathway for lasting change. The book ends with an assessment to embark on this journey. I applaud the author for sharing her trials and triumphs and for helping others through wellness coaching.
The best advice for how to navigate a situation comes from those who have already done it. This book offers excellent guidance from someone who has struggled with substance abuse, relationship issues, weight management, etc. and successfully brought herself to a better place. The author reflects on her “lived experiences” and discusses relevant research from professionals like Dr. Kristen Neff and Dr. Gabor Mate. In the book, readers are shown a compassionate pathway for lasting change. The book ends with an assessment to embark on this journey. I applaud the author for sharing her trials and triumphs and for helping others through wellness coaching.
November 9, 2025
The Truth About Change: It’s Not a Light Switc
In The Light Switch Myth, Kerisma Vere rightly identifies that changes aren’t like a light switch that can turn on and off with the push of a button.
Changes can be reactionary, intentional, adaptive, survival-based, or transitional, but lasting transformation happens only when it’s intentional and internally motivated. The book rightly suggests that each person’s path to change is unique, shaped by their environment, personality, and life circumstances.
A key idea throughout the book is the importance of intrinsic motivation. Change becomes sustainable when it’s rooted in what you truly value, not in what you think you should value.
In The Light Switch Myth, Kerisma Vere rightly identifies that changes aren’t like a light switch that can turn on and off with the push of a button.
Changes can be reactionary, intentional, adaptive, survival-based, or transitional, but lasting transformation happens only when it’s intentional and internally motivated. The book rightly suggests that each person’s path to change is unique, shaped by their environment, personality, and life circumstances.
A key idea throughout the book is the importance of intrinsic motivation. Change becomes sustainable when it’s rooted in what you truly value, not in what you think you should value.
November 3, 2025
Kerisma Vere’s The Light Switch Myth dismantles one of the most harmful modern beliefs, that change should happen instantly, perfectly, and forever. With honesty, warmth, and evidence-based wisdom, Vere guides readers toward a slower, kinder model of growth rooted in compassion and sustainability.
Blending personal experience with therapeutic insight, the book replaces self-criticism with curiosity and shame with understanding. Vere reminds us that progress isn’t a light switch to be flipped, but a dimmer to be adjusted one small step at a time. Her reflections on perfectionism, guilt, and self-acceptance make the work feel deeply human and profoundly hopeful.
Blending personal experience with therapeutic insight, the book replaces self-criticism with curiosity and shame with understanding. Vere reminds us that progress isn’t a light switch to be flipped, but a dimmer to be adjusted one small step at a time. Her reflections on perfectionism, guilt, and self-acceptance make the work feel deeply human and profoundly hopeful.
November 6, 2025
Thoughtful, compassionate, and refreshingly honest about how real change actually happens. The author doesn’t pretend that transformation is fast or easy.
This book combines personal stories with clear, evidence-based insights. You can tell this isn’t theory pulled out of thin air, it’s grounded in both professional understanding and lived experience. There’s a warmth and humility to the writing that makes it easy to connect with, even when it’s challenging you to rethink how you approach growth and self-compassion. It won't “fix” you. Instead, it will show you how to meet yourself where you are, take small steps, and build habits that last.
This book combines personal stories with clear, evidence-based insights. You can tell this isn’t theory pulled out of thin air, it’s grounded in both professional understanding and lived experience. There’s a warmth and humility to the writing that makes it easy to connect with, even when it’s challenging you to rethink how you approach growth and self-compassion. It won't “fix” you. Instead, it will show you how to meet yourself where you are, take small steps, and build habits that last.
September 28, 2025
"This book has really helped me to make positive changes in my health and lifestyle. One of the things I’ve struggled with is being really hard on myself and feeling like I have to change everything right away. I have struggled with perfectionism in my life, and that kind of thinking usually just leaves me paralyzed . Ijust finished reading a book called The Light Switch Myth, and so far I’ve found it to be a really helpful resource.”
October 2, 2025
This book feels like a gentle coach in your corner. Kerisma’s writing is encouraging, realistic, and full of empathy. I found myself nodding along and taking notes on ways to be kinder to myself while working toward my goals. The exercises are actionable, and the stories make the concepts stick. I’ve already recommended it to friends who struggle with “all or nothing” thinking, it’s the kind of book you can return to again and again.
October 30, 2025
The Light Switch Myth by Kerisma A. Vere is a beautiful and deeply reflective story that makes you think about life, choices, and the emotions that shape us. The author’s writing feels honest and poetic, pulling you into a world that’s both real and magical. Every chapter has a message that stays with you, and the storytelling feels warm yet powerful. It’s the kind of book that touches your heart and leaves you thinking long after you’ve finished reading.
November 1, 2025
A thoughtful, compassionate guide to creating lasting change, The Light Switch Myth reminds us that transformation is gradual, not instant. I appreciated the personal stories and focus on self-compassion, though some points felt repetitive. Still, it’s encouraging and relatable for anyone tired of “quick-fix” promises.
October 13, 2025
Great insight on initiating change in our lives. Well thought out, easy to grasp, a must-read for anyone in therapy, counselors too!
October 5, 2025
Book Review: The Light Switch Myth: A Beginner’s Guide to Creating Realistic and Sustainable Change by Kerisma A. Vere
The Light Switch Myth by Kerisma A. Vere is an inspiring and compassionate exploration of what it truly means to create lasting change. In a world where people are constantly told to transform their lives instantly and chase perfection, Vere challenges that illusion with honesty and grace. She reveals that change is not something that happens suddenly, like flipping a light switch, but something that unfolds gradually through understanding, patience, and consistent self-compassion.
Drawing deeply from her personal recovery journey, coaching experience, and trauma-informed practice, Vere offers a perspective that feels both wise and deeply human. She speaks directly to those who have struggled with self-criticism, burnout, and the disappointment that often follows failed attempts to change. Instead of promising quick results, she provides readers with tools that help them connect with their values, reshape their self-talk, and build a foundation for genuine growth.
What makes this book exceptional is its warmth and authenticity. Vere writes with empathy, offering reflections and exercises that guide readers to think about why they want to change and how they can do it in a way that truly fits their lives. Her tone is understanding rather than prescriptive, and her focus on sustainability ensures that the lessons she shares can be applied long after the final page. Each concept is made accessible through vivid imagery and relatable examples, which help readers internalize the message that progress is not linear but deeply personal.
Vere’s approach dismantles the unrealistic expectations that often lead people to give up on themselves. She invites readers to view change as an ongoing relationship with self-awareness rather than a final destination. The message is clear and empowering—growth takes time, but it is possible when built on kindness, purpose, and patience.
The Light Switch Myth is not just a guidebook but a conversation with the reader, one that encourages self-acceptance while still striving for improvement. It offers hope for anyone who feels trapped in cycles of perfectionism and self-doubt, reminding them that real transformation begins with gentleness and honesty.
Kerisma A. Vere has written a book that speaks directly to the heart of personal development. It is practical yet soulful, structured yet deeply human. For anyone seeking a path to change that honors their pace and their humanity, The Light Switch Myth stands as an essential and transformative read.
The Light Switch Myth by Kerisma A. Vere is an inspiring and compassionate exploration of what it truly means to create lasting change. In a world where people are constantly told to transform their lives instantly and chase perfection, Vere challenges that illusion with honesty and grace. She reveals that change is not something that happens suddenly, like flipping a light switch, but something that unfolds gradually through understanding, patience, and consistent self-compassion.
Drawing deeply from her personal recovery journey, coaching experience, and trauma-informed practice, Vere offers a perspective that feels both wise and deeply human. She speaks directly to those who have struggled with self-criticism, burnout, and the disappointment that often follows failed attempts to change. Instead of promising quick results, she provides readers with tools that help them connect with their values, reshape their self-talk, and build a foundation for genuine growth.
What makes this book exceptional is its warmth and authenticity. Vere writes with empathy, offering reflections and exercises that guide readers to think about why they want to change and how they can do it in a way that truly fits their lives. Her tone is understanding rather than prescriptive, and her focus on sustainability ensures that the lessons she shares can be applied long after the final page. Each concept is made accessible through vivid imagery and relatable examples, which help readers internalize the message that progress is not linear but deeply personal.
Vere’s approach dismantles the unrealistic expectations that often lead people to give up on themselves. She invites readers to view change as an ongoing relationship with self-awareness rather than a final destination. The message is clear and empowering—growth takes time, but it is possible when built on kindness, purpose, and patience.
The Light Switch Myth is not just a guidebook but a conversation with the reader, one that encourages self-acceptance while still striving for improvement. It offers hope for anyone who feels trapped in cycles of perfectionism and self-doubt, reminding them that real transformation begins with gentleness and honesty.
Kerisma A. Vere has written a book that speaks directly to the heart of personal development. It is practical yet soulful, structured yet deeply human. For anyone seeking a path to change that honors their pace and their humanity, The Light Switch Myth stands as an essential and transformative read.
October 1, 2025
The Light Switch Myth
by Kerisma A. Vere:
5 outof 5 🌟
*The Light Switch Myth* refuses that template, not because it lacks structure, but because Kerisma A. Vere recognizes that change is less like assembling furniture and more like cultivating a garden. You don’t hammer growth into place; you nurture it, tend to it, and sometimes wait through long, silent seasons before anything sprouts.
What struck me most while reading is that this book is not about adding more to your life but about subtracting—the shedding of unrealistic expectations, cultural scripts of perfection, and harsh inner dialogues. Vere almost acts as a gentle archaeologist, inviting readers to brush away the layers of shame and “not-enoughness” to rediscover what was always there: worthiness and capacity. Few books in this genre center so strongly on *permission*—permission to go slow, to stumble, to not have a linear path.
Her trauma-informed lens gives the book its depth. Many self-help works overlook how personal history shapes our pace of change, but Vere insists that acknowledging wounds is not weakness—it is wisdom. This perspective shifts the tone from “fix yourself” to “befriend yourself,” which is radical in a culture obsessed with optimization.
The reflective prompts are deceptively simple, but they are designed less as tasks and more as mirrors. Instead of directing readers to “do better,” they invite you to notice—notice where your self-talk sabotages you, where external pressure dictates your choices, where your own values might gently redirect you toward sustainability.
I also appreciated the imagery woven throughout. The titular myth of the light switch isn’t just clever; it becomes a thread tying the whole work together. The metaphor reframes the false promise of instant brightness into an understanding that light comes gradually—sometimes as a flicker, sometimes as dawn.
This book does not celebrate speed; it celebrates durability. In a marketplace full of quick fixes, The Light Switch Myth feels almost countercultural. It’s not a guide to becoming “new” overnight—it’s a companion to becoming more yourself, over time.
by Kerisma A. Vere:
5 outof 5 🌟
*The Light Switch Myth* refuses that template, not because it lacks structure, but because Kerisma A. Vere recognizes that change is less like assembling furniture and more like cultivating a garden. You don’t hammer growth into place; you nurture it, tend to it, and sometimes wait through long, silent seasons before anything sprouts.
What struck me most while reading is that this book is not about adding more to your life but about subtracting—the shedding of unrealistic expectations, cultural scripts of perfection, and harsh inner dialogues. Vere almost acts as a gentle archaeologist, inviting readers to brush away the layers of shame and “not-enoughness” to rediscover what was always there: worthiness and capacity. Few books in this genre center so strongly on *permission*—permission to go slow, to stumble, to not have a linear path.
Her trauma-informed lens gives the book its depth. Many self-help works overlook how personal history shapes our pace of change, but Vere insists that acknowledging wounds is not weakness—it is wisdom. This perspective shifts the tone from “fix yourself” to “befriend yourself,” which is radical in a culture obsessed with optimization.
The reflective prompts are deceptively simple, but they are designed less as tasks and more as mirrors. Instead of directing readers to “do better,” they invite you to notice—notice where your self-talk sabotages you, where external pressure dictates your choices, where your own values might gently redirect you toward sustainability.
I also appreciated the imagery woven throughout. The titular myth of the light switch isn’t just clever; it becomes a thread tying the whole work together. The metaphor reframes the false promise of instant brightness into an understanding that light comes gradually—sometimes as a flicker, sometimes as dawn.
This book does not celebrate speed; it celebrates durability. In a marketplace full of quick fixes, The Light Switch Myth feels almost countercultural. It’s not a guide to becoming “new” overnight—it’s a companion to becoming more yourself, over time.
November 3, 2025
The book starts from a simple but profound premise: “Humans are relational beings.” And being social often means pretending from time to time. It’s an instinct inherited from before we became fully human, when survival meant making yourself appear bigger or more menacing in the face of danger. Sun Tzu turned that instinct into strategy: “Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.” The same logic applies to modern society, except that pretending has become a way of life rather than a situational response; it often lacks meaning now. The author captures this insight perfectly.
Where I differ is in the role of emotions – especially regarding children. It’s not right to make everything about emotions. They matter, of course, but so do adaptability, discipline, and the capacity to grow. Criticism and expectations are part of a child’s development; remove them, and the result may be an adult who remains a spoiled child. Social expectations have their place too – no one grows in their absence. As the author rightly says, “the right results come from recognizing your limits.” Life is about balance: too much or too little of anything won’t help. No single way of thinking applies to everyone. We are not machines – we are human, and we are different.
The book also explores the patterns and pitfalls of modern society: “They reinforce the unrealistic vision of instant change and a future without struggle.” Again, the author is spot on, especially when following with: “It means we begin to honor the full arc of growth – the plateaus, the spirals, the pauses, and the relapses – not as signs of failure, but as signs that we are still in the game.”
This is an insightful book – one that might change your life for the better. Or it might not. That depends entirely on you. To quote the author once more: “A road tells you where to go. A path asks you to notice where you are.”
Where I differ is in the role of emotions – especially regarding children. It’s not right to make everything about emotions. They matter, of course, but so do adaptability, discipline, and the capacity to grow. Criticism and expectations are part of a child’s development; remove them, and the result may be an adult who remains a spoiled child. Social expectations have their place too – no one grows in their absence. As the author rightly says, “the right results come from recognizing your limits.” Life is about balance: too much or too little of anything won’t help. No single way of thinking applies to everyone. We are not machines – we are human, and we are different.
The book also explores the patterns and pitfalls of modern society: “They reinforce the unrealistic vision of instant change and a future without struggle.” Again, the author is spot on, especially when following with: “It means we begin to honor the full arc of growth – the plateaus, the spirals, the pauses, and the relapses – not as signs of failure, but as signs that we are still in the game.”
This is an insightful book – one that might change your life for the better. Or it might not. That depends entirely on you. To quote the author once more: “A road tells you where to go. A path asks you to notice where you are.”
November 12, 2025
In the film, “What About Bob,” Bill Murray plays a needy neurotic, named Bob Wiley, who proves to be the bane of existence of a renowned psychiatrist, Dr. Leo Marvin, played by Richard Dreyfuss. In the movie, Dr. Marvin has just published a book, titled “Baby Steps,” which advocates a slower and more deliberate path to achieving optimal and lasting mental health.
Although “Baby Steps” is a fictional tome, readers are fortunate that author Kerisma Vere has published a useful book that seems to make the philosophical bent of “Baby Steps” jump off the silver screen and into the hands of readers who are also interested in making positive changes in their lives that may take longer, but actually last longer or prove amenable to further modification at a later time. Her book is “The Light Switch Myth: A beginner's guide to creating realistic and sustainable change."
Using anecdotal reports as well as proven developmental strategies, Vere dispels the notion that changes in one’s life need be immediate and permanent, and introduces methods to achieve sustainable changes in personal growth by using baby steps that are gentler, more realistic, and healthier for the psyche than many conventional strategies. The end goal of her program is a life that relies less on self-deprecation and more on self-acceptance.
“The Light Switch Myth” is well-written, argumentatively consistent, and encouraging. The book is well-edited and formatted, with ample room for reader self-evaluation.
Another fictional character, Stuart Smalley, comedian Al Franken’s self-proclaimed “member of several 12-step programs - but not a licensed therapist,” shared with the world his daily affirmation, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” Although he never read “Baby Steps,” reading “The Light Switch Myth,” may be the secret to his personal growth, optimism, and self-satisfaction.
Although “Baby Steps” is a fictional tome, readers are fortunate that author Kerisma Vere has published a useful book that seems to make the philosophical bent of “Baby Steps” jump off the silver screen and into the hands of readers who are also interested in making positive changes in their lives that may take longer, but actually last longer or prove amenable to further modification at a later time. Her book is “The Light Switch Myth: A beginner's guide to creating realistic and sustainable change."
Using anecdotal reports as well as proven developmental strategies, Vere dispels the notion that changes in one’s life need be immediate and permanent, and introduces methods to achieve sustainable changes in personal growth by using baby steps that are gentler, more realistic, and healthier for the psyche than many conventional strategies. The end goal of her program is a life that relies less on self-deprecation and more on self-acceptance.
“The Light Switch Myth” is well-written, argumentatively consistent, and encouraging. The book is well-edited and formatted, with ample room for reader self-evaluation.
Another fictional character, Stuart Smalley, comedian Al Franken’s self-proclaimed “member of several 12-step programs - but not a licensed therapist,” shared with the world his daily affirmation, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” Although he never read “Baby Steps,” reading “The Light Switch Myth,” may be the secret to his personal growth, optimism, and self-satisfaction.
October 19, 2025
I recently came across The Light Switch Myth while exploring one of my favorite Listopia lists, and it turned out to be a hidden gem that deeply resonated with me. The title immediately intrigued me, but it was the clarity, insight, and compassion in the writing that made it stand out. Kerisma A. Vere offers something rare in the personal growth space; a guide that is both grounded and deeply human.
Right from the start, Kerisma challenges the common belief that change is instant or effortless, what she calls “the light switch myth.” Instead, she offers a refreshingly honest view of transformation. one that unfolds in layers, over time, with patience and grace. She writes:
“Learning and transformation happen in layers. We rarely uncover every layer the first time we encounter something, no matter how hard we try.”
“One little trick I have found helpful. I often ask myself, what direction are your feet pointed? Even if I don’t have it in me to move forward, simply setting the intention, imagining my feet pointing forward,can reframe my sense of progress.”
Those lines hit home for me. They reflect not just practical advice, but a philosophy of change that is gentle, intentional, and rooted in real life. That tone carries throughout the book. Kerisma doesn’t write from a pedestal, she writes as someone who’s walked the road, who understands that transformation isn’t always linear, and who speaks with a voice that’s supportive, never preachy.
Right from the start, Kerisma challenges the common belief that change is instant or effortless, what she calls “the light switch myth.” Instead, she offers a refreshingly honest view of transformation. one that unfolds in layers, over time, with patience and grace. She writes:
“Learning and transformation happen in layers. We rarely uncover every layer the first time we encounter something, no matter how hard we try.”
“One little trick I have found helpful. I often ask myself, what direction are your feet pointed? Even if I don’t have it in me to move forward, simply setting the intention, imagining my feet pointing forward,can reframe my sense of progress.”
Those lines hit home for me. They reflect not just practical advice, but a philosophy of change that is gentle, intentional, and rooted in real life. That tone carries throughout the book. Kerisma doesn’t write from a pedestal, she writes as someone who’s walked the road, who understands that transformation isn’t always linear, and who speaks with a voice that’s supportive, never preachy.
November 8, 2025
The Light Switch Myth is one of those rare books that speaks to you like a friend who has finally decided to tell you the truth. Not the comfortable truth, but the kind that actually helps you. From the very first chapter, it becomes clear: this isn’t another feel-good promise about how you can completely reinvent your life by Monday if you just “believe in yourself hard enough.” Instead, it’s a grounded, compassionate guide for anyone who’s tired of trying to change overnight — and failing.
The author does a brilliant job of deconstructing the fantasy of quick transformation. They remind us — gently but firmly — that real change is a process, not a spark. That habits, environments, and even our self-talk all play a quiet but monumental role in shaping who we become. And best of all: they don’t just tell you what to do — they walk you through how to do it in a way that feels genuinely manageable.
What I appreciated most was the sense of honesty. There's no preaching, no “guru” tone. Just practical steps, relatable examples, and a deep respect for the fact that—yes—making real change is hard, but it’s also completely possible when done with patience and strategy.
If you're done with quick fixes and you're ready for something real — something you can actually build your life on — this book might be the beginning of that shift. It certainly was for me.
The author does a brilliant job of deconstructing the fantasy of quick transformation. They remind us — gently but firmly — that real change is a process, not a spark. That habits, environments, and even our self-talk all play a quiet but monumental role in shaping who we become. And best of all: they don’t just tell you what to do — they walk you through how to do it in a way that feels genuinely manageable.
What I appreciated most was the sense of honesty. There's no preaching, no “guru” tone. Just practical steps, relatable examples, and a deep respect for the fact that—yes—making real change is hard, but it’s also completely possible when done with patience and strategy.
If you're done with quick fixes and you're ready for something real — something you can actually build your life on — this book might be the beginning of that shift. It certainly was for me.
November 9, 2025
Inspiring and heartfelt
As a person who can’t go past a personal development book since embracing Bob Proctor’s Born Rich program back in 1993, I didn’t think there was much to learn about the subject that I didn’t already know. However, this book did give me a few nuggets.
It highlighted something I am guilty of doing to myself every day—cracking the whip and lamenting when I stuff up, when I should grace myself with a little more compassion and understanding that I give to everyone else. I am also guilty of rarely asking for help and taking everything upon myself. So these things need to change.
I agree with everything this book offers and have utilised the ‘eat an elephant one mouthful at a time’ approach rather than setting myself up for failure by pushing too hard to get missions completed in impossible deadlines. I also agree that coaching can help. I had a coach who helped me clean my house by doing one drawer or one cupboard per week, and photographing and emailing her the before and after. It was a commitment, and I lived up to it. I even finally cleared out my roof space as a result.
There were a few typos in the book. However, I won’t deduct a star because the information was heartfelt and good. I appreciated the author being real and putting herself out there by sharing her personal struggles with the reader—an inspiring read.
As a person who can’t go past a personal development book since embracing Bob Proctor’s Born Rich program back in 1993, I didn’t think there was much to learn about the subject that I didn’t already know. However, this book did give me a few nuggets.
It highlighted something I am guilty of doing to myself every day—cracking the whip and lamenting when I stuff up, when I should grace myself with a little more compassion and understanding that I give to everyone else. I am also guilty of rarely asking for help and taking everything upon myself. So these things need to change.
I agree with everything this book offers and have utilised the ‘eat an elephant one mouthful at a time’ approach rather than setting myself up for failure by pushing too hard to get missions completed in impossible deadlines. I also agree that coaching can help. I had a coach who helped me clean my house by doing one drawer or one cupboard per week, and photographing and emailing her the before and after. It was a commitment, and I lived up to it. I even finally cleared out my roof space as a result.
There were a few typos in the book. However, I won’t deduct a star because the information was heartfelt and good. I appreciated the author being real and putting herself out there by sharing her personal struggles with the reader—an inspiring read.
October 20, 2025
Reading The Light Switch Myth felt like receiving a warm, understanding hug for my soul. Kerisma Vere dismantles the myth that change should be instant and effortless, offering instead a compassionate roadmap for sustainable transformation. Her approach is rooted in self compassion and patience, reminding us that "learning and transformation happen in layers" and that setbacks are not proof of failure but part of the natural nonlinear process of change.
What resonated most with me was the gentle invitation to take one steady step at a time. As Cyndy shared in her review, "I walked away with a lighter perspective. I don't have to flip a switch, I can take one steady step at a time". This sentiment echoed throughout the book, offering a refreshing perspective on personal growth.
Kerisma's personal journey from critic to compassionate ally adds depth and authenticity to the narrative. Her commitment to integrity and accessibility ensures that this book is not just a guide but a companion for anyone seeking meaningful change
If you're tired of quick fix promises and are ready to embrace a kinder, more sustainable path to transformation, this book is for you. It offers not just strategies but a mindset shift, a reminder that progress is not linear, and that's okay.
What resonated most with me was the gentle invitation to take one steady step at a time. As Cyndy shared in her review, "I walked away with a lighter perspective. I don't have to flip a switch, I can take one steady step at a time". This sentiment echoed throughout the book, offering a refreshing perspective on personal growth.
Kerisma's personal journey from critic to compassionate ally adds depth and authenticity to the narrative. Her commitment to integrity and accessibility ensures that this book is not just a guide but a companion for anyone seeking meaningful change
If you're tired of quick fix promises and are ready to embrace a kinder, more sustainable path to transformation, this book is for you. It offers not just strategies but a mindset shift, a reminder that progress is not linear, and that's okay.
October 20, 2025
The Light Switch Myth isn’t just another self help book, it’s a compassionate reality check for anyone tired of believing transformation happens overnight. Kerisma Vere dismantles the illusion that change is a single dramatic moment, and replaces it with something far more sustainable. the grace of small, layered progress.
What struck me most was how gently this book invites honesty. Vere reminds us that growth isn’t about flipping a switch, but about returning, again and again, to awareness, self compassion, and choice. I found myself breathing easier as I read, realizing I didn’t need to “fix” myself instantly to be worthy of growth.
Her voice is calm, grounded, and deeply human. Each chapter feels like sitting with a wise friend who tells you the truth, but with kindness. The examples are practical, the reflections sincere, and the exercises quietly transformative.
By the end, I understood something I’d missed for years: real change doesn’t erase who we’ve been, it integrates who we’re becoming.
This book doesn’t promise instant miracles. It offers something rarer and more powerful, permission to evolve at your own pace. I’ll be revisiting it often.
What struck me most was how gently this book invites honesty. Vere reminds us that growth isn’t about flipping a switch, but about returning, again and again, to awareness, self compassion, and choice. I found myself breathing easier as I read, realizing I didn’t need to “fix” myself instantly to be worthy of growth.
Her voice is calm, grounded, and deeply human. Each chapter feels like sitting with a wise friend who tells you the truth, but with kindness. The examples are practical, the reflections sincere, and the exercises quietly transformative.
By the end, I understood something I’d missed for years: real change doesn’t erase who we’ve been, it integrates who we’re becoming.
This book doesn’t promise instant miracles. It offers something rarer and more powerful, permission to evolve at your own pace. I’ll be revisiting it often.
November 13, 2025
The Light Switch Myth is a refreshingly compassionate and grounded guide to personal growth. Kerisma Vere dismantles the toxic belief that transformation must be instant or absolute, offering instead a more humane, realistic path toward lasting change. Through heartfelt storytelling and evidence-based insights, Vere bridges the gap between psychology and lived experience, making this book feel both deeply personal and highly practical.
What stands out most is her gentle, nonjudgmental tone. She reminds readers that growth is non-linear, that shame and perfectionism do more harm than good, and that small, steady shifts often lead to the biggest breakthroughs. The book is full of simple but profound reflections and actionable tools that encourage readers to build self-trust and kindness along the way.
This isn’t just another self-help manual—it’s an invitation to slow down, breathe, and believe that progress born from self-compassion can truly last. Thoughtful, relatable, and quietly transformative.
What stands out most is her gentle, nonjudgmental tone. She reminds readers that growth is non-linear, that shame and perfectionism do more harm than good, and that small, steady shifts often lead to the biggest breakthroughs. The book is full of simple but profound reflections and actionable tools that encourage readers to build self-trust and kindness along the way.
This isn’t just another self-help manual—it’s an invitation to slow down, breathe, and believe that progress born from self-compassion can truly last. Thoughtful, relatable, and quietly transformative.
October 20, 2025
I actually discovered The Light Switch Myth through a Listopia placement, those lists are one of my favorite ways to find books that aren’t just motivational noise but genuinely thoughtful. I’m glad I clicked into this one.
What I appreciate most about Kerisma’s approach is how honest and almost disarming it feels. She doesn’t sell the fantasy of overnight transformation, instead, she talks about change in a way that finally feels humanly possible. The examples and reflections are practical but still compassionate, like she understands the emotional side of trying to change just as much as the strategic side.
This book doesn’t shout at you to “do better.” It makes you breathe and pay attention. It helps you understand why your old efforts may have failed without shaming you for it. That tone, wise, realistic, but still genuinely hopeful, is what makes it stand out for me.
I’m walking away not just motivated, but clearer. And that’s rare.
What I appreciate most about Kerisma’s approach is how honest and almost disarming it feels. She doesn’t sell the fantasy of overnight transformation, instead, she talks about change in a way that finally feels humanly possible. The examples and reflections are practical but still compassionate, like she understands the emotional side of trying to change just as much as the strategic side.
This book doesn’t shout at you to “do better.” It makes you breathe and pay attention. It helps you understand why your old efforts may have failed without shaming you for it. That tone, wise, realistic, but still genuinely hopeful, is what makes it stand out for me.
I’m walking away not just motivated, but clearer. And that’s rare.
November 27, 2025
I have been working through this book slowly. It has been such a useful resource for the things I am working on. I often find the more academic books kind of complicated and unrelatable but this book is like having my own coach who has been there and is sharing how she dealt with similar struggles and roadblocks as my own. I like how she breaks down different therapy models into simpler language that is easier for me to understand and apply. I also like the repetitive theme of learning to treat myself with compassion and self love- but not just in a you "should" but in a here are some things you can do to help make those kinds of shifts. I think others who are working on self worth, treating themselves with more kindness and trying to build a healthier life would also really find this book helpful and a bit different from all those books that try to convince us things should be easy or quick .
November 26, 2025
Simple and Honest Book About Real Change
The Light Switch Myth is a very nice book that teach me a lot about how real change happen. The author explain that change is not fast or magic. It is slow, with small steps every day. I like this idea because many times I try to change quickly and then I feel sad when I fail. This book make me understand that small progress is still progress.
The writing is easy and friendly, so I never feel confused. The examples are simple and feel like real life. I like how the author talk about habits, mindset, and how to keep going even when you feel low. It make me think about my own life and what I can do better.
Overall, this is a helpful and positive book. It gives hope and practical tips for anyone trying to improve their life in a slow but steady way. I enjoyed reading it.
The Light Switch Myth is a very nice book that teach me a lot about how real change happen. The author explain that change is not fast or magic. It is slow, with small steps every day. I like this idea because many times I try to change quickly and then I feel sad when I fail. This book make me understand that small progress is still progress.
The writing is easy and friendly, so I never feel confused. The examples are simple and feel like real life. I like how the author talk about habits, mindset, and how to keep going even when you feel low. It make me think about my own life and what I can do better.
Overall, this is a helpful and positive book. It gives hope and practical tips for anyone trying to improve their life in a slow but steady way. I enjoyed reading it.
October 16, 2025
The Light Switch Myth dismantles the fantasy of instant transformation and replaces it with a grounded roadmap for real, sustainable change. Blending memoir, psychology, and practical tools, Vere shows that growth is not a switch but a process built on compassion, self-awareness, and small, steady steps.
Key Takeaways
1. Change is non-linear, more like a spiral staircase than a straight line.
2. Shame and perfectionism block progress; compassion unlocks it.
3. Personalization matters, so design your own sustainable system.
4. Small, steady shifts and harm reduction work better than big overhauls.
5. Supportive tools and communities can guide, not pressure, your path.
A must read for all who wants real change.
Key Takeaways
1. Change is non-linear, more like a spiral staircase than a straight line.
2. Shame and perfectionism block progress; compassion unlocks it.
3. Personalization matters, so design your own sustainable system.
4. Small, steady shifts and harm reduction work better than big overhauls.
5. Supportive tools and communities can guide, not pressure, your path.
A must read for all who wants real change.
November 4, 2025
Change That Feels Human
The Light Switch Myth is an honest and compassionate guide to what real transformation looks like. Kerisma Vere writes with warmth, humility, and experience, offering a perspective that feels both gentle and deeply practical.
This book reminds you that change does not have to happen overnight to matter. It encourages small, steady steps instead of perfection and shame. The tone is kind and relatable, and every page feels like a conversation with someone who understands what it means to struggle and grow at the same time.
It is a refreshing take on personal growth that replaces pressure with patience and guilt with grace. A book that helps you stop fighting yourself and start learning how to truly support your own healing.
The Light Switch Myth is an honest and compassionate guide to what real transformation looks like. Kerisma Vere writes with warmth, humility, and experience, offering a perspective that feels both gentle and deeply practical.
This book reminds you that change does not have to happen overnight to matter. It encourages small, steady steps instead of perfection and shame. The tone is kind and relatable, and every page feels like a conversation with someone who understands what it means to struggle and grow at the same time.
It is a refreshing take on personal growth that replaces pressure with patience and guilt with grace. A book that helps you stop fighting yourself and start learning how to truly support your own healing.
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