widow— widower— widowest— a grief mosaic

by Aaron M. Simmons, Polly G. Simmons

After Aaron’s wife Polly died, they wrote a book together.

It started with the intense process of creating the memorial service and writing her eulogy. He put everything he had into it.

But then a strange thing happened — the writing kept coming. It came out in letters and poems and short essays that explore the impact of becoming a widower in his 40s, what it means for him and their three young children, how to be a solo father, and where to go from here. Talking about grief is like staring into the sun, so Aaron doesn’t come at it directly, but through the side door, through the windows, in little snippets that were bearable to write.

At the same time, he discovered Polly’s journals, written in her idiosyncratic style, sort of like ee cummings with dashes. What a gift she left! In her writings she contemplates her art, their kids, being a mother, the loss of her own mother, her 16-year relationship with Aaron, and (presciently) the nature of death.

Aaron’s musings with Polly’s diary — by turns funny, poignant, and sad — interleave to form a mosaic of the life that was lost and the lives she left behind.

Genres: Grief, Memoir

Hardcover

Expected publication January 20, 2026

Reviews

[Jessica Weil · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an Advanced Reader Copy of this book.

This book is a beautiful exploration of grief, love, and loss, and it took me on an emotional journey I didn’t quite expect. Even though I haven’t lost a spouse, the emotional landscape Aaron describes resonated deeply with me because of my own experience losing my mom, who was also my best friend. I’ve read many books about loss in an attempt to understand and process my grief, but this one felt uniquely honest, and in many ways it hit the hardest.

One of the things I appreciated most was the way Aaron wove Polly’s writing and art into the book. Including her voice made her feel present on the page, not just as a memory but as a dynamic, creative person (which she very much was!) whose thoughts and experiences still matter. Reading her reflections on motherhood, identity, and the daily moments that made up her life made me wish I could've talked with her about them. Her insights added a richness and intimacy to the book that made it feel like a shared conversation.

Aaron’s writing itself is remarkable, honest, vulnerable, and often unexpectedly funny in the moments where humor is the only thing that makes the heaviness bearable. He doesn’t try to dress up his grief or make it palatable; instead, he presents it in all its raw, messy, human truth. Nothing about his story feels trite, sentimental for the sake of it, or overwritten.

I can't wait to own a physical copy of this book, I will surely treasure it.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an Advanced Reader Copy of this book.

This is one of the most original books that I have ever read—and I don't just mean for books that are about grief and loss. It is truly original in its approach, perspective, and content representation. This work of art is at once an homage and an exploration. I have already talked to basically everyone I know about it, and will continue to recommend it to whomever will listen. We've all lost someone who we care about, and the way that Aaron Simmons honors his wife's memory and her legacy is a thorough and touching example of how we connect and keep moving through.

The collaboration between Aaron's perspective and Polly's creativity is a rich conversation that positions both of their artistic identities as core to their relationship. The content provoked tears, laughter, questions, deep reflection, and wonder. I can honestly say that this book has changed how I look at relationships and our memories of the same. Communication is its own art form and this work is a beautiful extended letter of love. Thank you, Aaron, for your devotion to sharing your experience.

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in one sitting, which is pretty rare for me. It was honest, vulnerable, romantic, dreamy, reflective, and sad. When Aaron said he'd written a book "with" his late wife I didn't quite know what that would look like in the pages. Aaron weaved together Polly's diaries and artwork with his reflections of their life together. His reflections were honest, vulnerable, reflective and sad. I could feel the processing of emotions through the words. I often found myself reflecting on what such an event would do to my life and how I could change something small today to not less regrets in the future. As far as Polly, I never met her, but I wish I did. She seems like my kind of lady, creative and unapologetically herself. Her diary entries are dreamy and hopeful. Altogether, it's a moving read that will make you smile, cry and reflect.

[Betsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author’s journey through grief is brave, caring, heart-wrenching, and deeply thoughtful. His love for his wife shows on every page. The book is a loving testament to his late wife, revealing his uphill journey toward accepting grief.

[RJ Dickson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This past year, four loved ones in my life died, so I read stacks of books on grief and loss. Aaron Simmons’ widow—widower—widowest—a grief mosaic is by far the best. What does it mean to be the “best” book on grieving and death? I’m new to the genre, so I’m no expert. But for me Aaron’s was the best because he’s able to convey strength while working through what must be the most difficult time of his life, the unexpected death of Polly, his wife and the mother of their three children. By including her work in the book—photos of her art and entries from her journal—he brings Polly to life while making her a co-writer. He engagingly describes his fears and achievements as a suddenly solo dad, bringing his family to life as well. This gives us a clear glimpse of the person they all loved and lost. Aaron’s imagery and concise descriptions work well throughout the book. He’s never wordy or maudlin—which grief books can be, I’ve learned. Many of his images stick with me, weeks after I read them. I’ll speak of just one here: in the first weeks after Polly’s death, while his mother helps care for his kids, Aaron is walking, walking, walking in the hills for hours a day, trying to absorb that he has lost his loving and capable life partner and that their three children (ages 11, 8, and 5) have lost their mother. As you read certain sections of the book, you’ll want a handkerchief.

But the book does far more than make readers cry. Aaron shares how unequal he feels to raising his kids without Polly and yet how determined he is to pull his family through this crisis. He doesn’t know how he is going to come through it and yet, as we read, we realize he is coming through it, and that his writing itself, entwined with images of Polly’s art and words, is enabling him to come through it. His “grief mosaic” is about loss and loneliness and resilience and rebirth along with deep respect for a person who can never be with us again. It’s got some humor to make it all bearable and some hard-earned wisdom. But it’s also about the power of art and writing to connect and heal. It’s so much more than a book about grief, which is the main reason it’s the best book about grief that I have read. I hope we get a sequel in a couple of years, so we can see how this unique family is doing.

As I finished widow—widower—widowest, I felt better able to face my own hardships. With the book, Aaron has portrayed how strong a person can be in the face of sudden and wrenching loss. He conveys that he and his kids will work through this agonizing absence, and that if you and I ever face such a calamity, we possibly could too.

[Suzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't put this book down. And I keep talking about it to whomever will listen to me.

The book is a collection of art and short writing that keeps you completely engaged and wanting to read 'just one more short story' before putting it down. It makes you feel all of the feeling from tears of laughter to tears of heartbreak.

The book is a collaboration between Aaron and his late wife, Polly, primarily on the topics of parenting, marriage, family, love, and loss. It's weaves together Polly's artistic expression and Aaron's compelling storytelling. The book takes the reader into the world and family these two created and the grief left behind when Polly unexpectedly passed away.

[Tim · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an advance copy of this from the author.

Wow.

I didn’t really know Polly, and knew Aaron mainly through shared hobbies and nerdery, so I wasn’t sure what to expect - but I came out of this book feeling like I got to know Polly a bit, and got a glimpse of a really difficult time in Aaron’s life.

This is not an easy read - it is what it says on the cover, a mosaic of grief, and grief is a challenging emotion.

Aaron manages to generate laughter along with tears, and I think that is the highest compliment I can give. He shared his emotions, but also managed to pull some of mine out of me (a challenge of its own, since I’m a Nordic descended nerd who grew up in the Upper Midwest).

For a glimpse into how one man manages his grief when he loses his wife, this book is well worth your reading time and attention.

[Yi-Hsin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an Advanced Reader Copy of this book.

This is a book that will stay with me for a long long time.

It's a story of life, death, grief, and life anew. Told from the perspectives of two distinct narrators: Aaron and his departed wife, Polly. Aaron masterfully weaves their stories from their shared life, ruminations on grief, and thoughts on feminism, housework, and parenting together with his wife Polly's journal entries, poetry, and art. It is deliberate, thoughtful, and vulnerable. I loved it.

It's hard to describe the emotional and philosophical scope of this book. It wrestles with so many core human concepts. What does it mean to love? What does it mean to live a fulfilling life? How do we make sense of death? How do we live with death? It's a challenging, thought-provoking, and ultimately loving read. Aaron's love for his wife permeates every page. It's an unflinching portrait of life, marriage, and death.

Aaron replaces the standard wedding vows with, "Will you Speak for me when I'm dead?" And he does this, beautifully. He talks about what a gift it was to find Polly's writings, and I thank him for sharing those with us, for letting us get a glimpse of this remarkable person, and for opening himself for us to know him too.

[Marsha Prior · Rating 5 out of 5]

Received advanced copy.

In the forward of this tender, open-hearted book, the author questions whether he and his late wife, Polly, are writers. After only a few pages, the answer arrives unmistakably: yes! They are writers—beautiful, gifted writers.

Struck by the tragic and far-too-soon death of Polly, Aaron Simmons crafts a tender and devastating tribute to his wife, seamlessly weaving her words and artwork with his own thoughtful, honest, and aching journey through the landscape of unending grief. What emerges is both intimate and expansive, a dialogue that continues even in absence.

Widow–Widower–Widowest peers into death, sorrow, and pain, yet never loosens its hold on life. It understands grief not as a singular event but as a living, breathing presence—one that reshapes time, memory, and the self. Simmons’ memoir cradles what was shared and cherished: the small rituals, the creative communion, the ordinary moments rendered sacred through love. At the same time, it bears witness to the vast, echoing silence left behind, honoring absence as faithfully as presence. In doing so, the book becomes not only a testament to loss, but a quiet, enduring affirmation of love’s persistence—its ability to speak, create, and endure even when one voice is gone.

[Sean Burns · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an advance copy of this book from the author.

This is a powerful story about what happens when the unthinkable happens. Aaron lost his wife Polly suddenly in the middle of the night. They had three young children. This could happen to anyone. The story details how Aaron deals and copes with this horrible life-shattering event. The extra-interesting part of the book is that Polly is an artist and she left behind a wealth of art and writing. Her writing style is unique (and full of dashes)....Aaron beautifully combines his writing with hers (taken from her journal writings, found after she died) and mixes in photos and examples of her artwork throughout the book....the book is a tribute to their life together that is intimate and heart-wrenching. And beautiful. And, at times, humorous. As such, it is a bit of an emotional roller coaster ride (you will cry), but I enjoyed the thoughtful way the story was composed and arranged. I also really appreciated/enjoyed seeing the art Polly had created. This is a story that should make everyone think deeply--appreciate the people in our lives--and better appreciate our (short) time on this planet.

[Mark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Blown away. It's really hard to take the biggest and most devastating parts of life like love, marriage, death and grief, and treat them with both the specificity and multitude of angles we experience them in. Aaron and his late wife Polly have a shrewd, sparing writing style that thwarts self-indulgence for honesty and humor. This book made me cackle and hitch my breath. This is not a self-help or wallowing grief book. But it will rip your heart out. Aaron Simmons weaves something I've not seen before and it's beautiful, hilarious and the kind of unresolved treasuring of a loved one that makes the loss of them so much more devastating. Probably the most unique take I've seen on an experience like this that will intrigue those who haven't lived it, and resonate deeply with those who have. Polly, his wife, is clever, fascinating and perplexing in her own right, and the conversation had here will run you through a gamut of emotions.

[Halcyon-Days · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an Advanced Reader Copy of this book.

This is one of the most beautiful books I have read in a long time. How could a book about grief be so bursting with life? Polly lived so incredibly brightly, and you feel her life resonating across the pages, enlightening and brightening everything and transforming the world into art. Aaron, her widower, speaks with such deep and abounding love for his wife and the mother of his children you can feel the floor fall out from under you, tumbling into the abyss as he copes with suddenly losing her, writing with her, to her, crafting a bridge across the impassable valley of death. This book makes me want to live and to love the way that Polly lived and Aaron loves. I'm crying as I write this review. I feel changed and haunted and anguished and hopeful. This is not just a book for those who have experienced grief, it is a path to living life. It's a clarion call to give life to your creativity and be yourself. Fuck it, I'm Polly <3

[Carrie Ives · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an advance copy of this from the Author.

I would often read a bit and then stop to reflect on what I had just read. I expect that I will read this book again as an example of living an intentional life. I also will go back and look at the art again. I have done some of that already.

While this book dealt with grief and death, there was happiness, laughter, and life there also. I was a bit worried that this book would be too sad and make it hard to read. It did have sadness, it is a grief mosaic after all. I took it just a little bit at a time, sometimes a whole chapter, sometimes just a part of one, and sometimes I read much longer than I expected.

I wish I had gotten to meet Polly. I am glad that Aaron shared some of her with us in this book. I am glad that he chose to speak for her. I think he did a good job selecting her writing and images of her art to tell the story not only of his grief, but also of her life and their life together.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an advance reader copy of this book.

This book doesn’t tiptoe around grief—it plunges straight into the heart of it. Aaron writes with a raw, unguarded honesty about his wife, the sudden tragedy that took her, and the strange, disorienting landscape of life after loss. Woven through his reflections are pieces of Polly’s journals and her art, forming a mosaic that exposes the fragile, human ways we try to make sense of the unthinkable.

Both Aaron and Polly are deeply introspective, and together they offer a front-row seat to grief so intense I sometimes had to step away just to breathe. Aaron’s love for Polly burns through every paragraph, and his sorrow sits so close to the surface that you can feel it pulling you into its undertow. It’s a beautiful, heart-wrenching, unforgettable read.

[Heather Caspi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I almost didn’t read this book, knowing that it might make me cry… and it did, but it also took me through an entire journey of emotions around life, love, and death, that made me so glad that I took the opportunity to read it when offered an advance reader copy.

I’m forever changed and inspired by this absolutely stunning collection of memories and contemplations woven together from the authors – the husband after his wife’s sudden death, and the wife from her earlier writings. They manage to put words to many of the questions and feelings around these topics that we often keep at arms-length, not knowing how to face them, or not wanting to… and they make it inviting and riveting to do so. This book offers a window into their life story that not only memorializes Polly, but also brings light and perspective that may stay with readers long after they finish it.

[Kate Lumsden · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an advanced reader copy
This piece, a combination of essays, poetry, and art gives moving insight to parenthood, marriage, and grief. Polly, who passed away suddenly, left poetry and art that speaks volumes of truth the experience that is motherhood and what it means to be a feminist operating by your own rules. Aaron, who stepped into the role of widow and single father following the loss of his wife, shares the joys and pains of finding your person and then experiencing tremendous loss. Often funny and stunning moving, this book is so much more than a memoir on grief, it's an exploration of family and the events that shape us.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once you start reading you don't want to stop. Honest, heartfelt, poetic, creative, thought provoking, loving...glimpses into Aaron's feelings and grief as the widower, and Polly's feelings and life prior to her death and treasures she left behind. Your heart is pulled to both of them separately and intertwined together as you experience both authors contributions. This beautifully written quick read is for a general audience. You don't have to be a widow/er/est or have even experienced loss to enjoy it's intellect and artistic offerings. However, for those who have or are experiencing grief, it will pull you in and hug you, reminding you that you are not alone in this world.

[Abigail L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

widow— widower— widowest— is one of those rare books that quietly shifts something inside you. Through Aaron’s deeply human essays and Polly’s luminous journal entries, you witness love not ending, but changing form. It’s not just about loss—it’s about how memory, humor, parenting, and the daily grit of survival can become art. I found myself alternately laughing, crying, and pausing to reread certain lines just to let them sink in. What I loved most is how real it all felt—grief written not as tragedy, but as an ongoing conversation between two souls. It made me think about my own life, love, and what it means to keep someone alive through words.

[Mike Simmons · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aaron Simmons has created a unique take on the grief narrative that makes for a compelling read.

Aaron’s ability to plumb the depths of his anguish from the death of his wife Polly and to be willing and able to express this through a gifted writing style is profound.

The challenges of being a solo dad of their 3-young children, ages 11, 8 and 5 drive a touching and heartfelt storyline.

The rollercoaster ride of emotions: fear, anger, guilt, led the author to growth and wisdom in the family’s 3-year journey.

In a genre so often authored by a grieving widow, a widower expressing grief with such depth and clarity is rare and remarkable.

[Owen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most unique books I've ever read. The way it mixes her journal entries, his post-death thoughts, and her art - all as a means to both celebrate her life and process his grief - makes for a really compelling read. It is sad of course, because you know Polly has passed away already and that knowledge colors much of what you read and see, but it's also funny, quirky and a fascinating look into two people lives, separately and as a couple.

If you only treat this as a grief book or some kind of self-help book you're doing it and yourself a real disservice. It really stands on its own as a work of non-fiction that reads like a novel.

[Kathy Curto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wings that don't get clipped, a gecko tattoo, a haunted house and that person who plays the guitar at parties. And the Peace Corps. It's all here, and more.
This collection, Widow-Widower-Widowest: A Grief Mosaic, is a tender, funny and poignant blend of the voices of those who made it: Polly and Aaron. Poetry, prose and visual art is braided together in a manner that stirs the soul, nudges the heart and redefines grief in necessary and illuminating ways. There is great beauty on these pages. I am in awe of how this book has made me think, feel, grieve and wonder about how love lives on. This is handholding, on the page and off. In life and in death. And in life, again and ongoing.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a beautiful collection of art, essays and journal entries by Aaron and his late wife Polly, who passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. Out of imaginable loss, Aaron has somehow created something both devastating and hopeful, giving us all the gift of knowing Polly through both of their words. While it is a story of loss and grief, it is also full of humor and thoughtful reflections on love, partnership and fatherhood. This is a book that I could not put down, and I have not stopped thinking about it since.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

This isn’t your grandma’s grief book—it’s heartbreak with a side of humor and a whole lot of humanity.
So, I cracked open “widow— widower— widowest—” thinking it’d be heavy, but wow—it’s raw, messy, and totally beautiful. Aaron and Polly basically write to each other across time, and somehow it feels like you’re eavesdropping on love itself. There’s real talk about parenting, loss, art, and even boogers on the wall (yep, that happens). I laughed, I ugly cried, and I finished it feeling oddly… hopeful. Read it if you’ve ever loved deeply—or lost someone who made the world brighter.

[Ssimm11 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a window into the author, Aaron's heart, showing us his vulnerability and his authenticity as he is moving through the world post the other author, his wife Polly's passing. I think opening yourself up to the world is the hardest thing to do and he does it so beautifully and powerfully. I loved hearing his perspective and then hers on their life they built. I hope we are all as lucky to have found a love like he did. I hope this book gives comfort to those who have and have lost. Feeling not alone in something so big is such a gift.

[Valerie Hedge · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am blown away by the honesty of this book. Polly was a remarkable thinker... I have never read anything like it. It is viscerally funny, and then smart, and then tragically sad. This story is a beautiful meditation on the reality of life and living, and not living (or no longer living). It is also a very honest reflection on the ties that bind and inspire us to move on, sometimes by yoke sometimes by towline.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful collection of essays and reflections from a father who unexpectedly lost his wife and had to find a way forward with his three kids. There is sadness, grief, humor, and creativity. One of the most interesting parts is how the author interleaves his own writing with journal entries from his late wife. The echos that reverberate between the sets of writings hold it together and make it a real collaboration between the writer and artist.

[Rachel A · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grief can feel like a solitary road, but this book offers something rare and transformative: companionship. Polly’s art and words reach through time to join with Aaron’s insightful reflections, reminding us that love doesn’t end, creativity endures, and connection transforms. Tender, honest, and full of heart, this book is a moving reminder that even after loss, creativity and memory can keep a relationship beautifully alive.

[Barbara Tarleton]

This book is great. I felt like a time traveler. We’re back in time listening to Polly’s thoughts and then jump forward to Aaron’s present day. They seem to correspond: Polly’s thoughts and Aaron’s day. It shows Aaron reaching and grabbing for anything that will make him feel better and to enable him to move on. I can see the transition in his words. I just want to look at him and say good job. I am pleased.

[Nicoled · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book gives a poignant view into a marriage, the loss of a partner and the process of grief. Readers also experience pieces of Simmons’ wife through her writing and art that provide a counterpoint to the story of her loss. Each piece of the mosaic adds a layer to this complex and intimate story.

[Summer G · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful tribute to the love and appreciation we can only find in close relationship with one another. What a gift to be a part of the process of honoring each other's incomprehensible complexity. The author allows us to imagine how our own mosaic of life might be received and supports us in the letting go of the stories we weren't able to see to the end.