Dorośnij. Zostań rodzicem, na jakiego zasługują twoje dzieci

by Gary John Bishop, Olga Podmiotko (Translator)

To, kim jesteś jako rodzic, jest znacznie ważniejsze od tego, jak wychowujesz.

Nieważne, jak bardzo chcesz zostać dobrym rodzicem – i tak jesteś na przegranej pozycji. I to zanim urodzi się twoje dziecko.

Czas więc zrewidować wzorzec „idealnego rodzica” — ową mityczną postać sklejoną z własnych doświadczeń z dzieciństwa, wpływu rodziców, uwarunkowań kulturowych, treści z mediów społecznościowych i wszystkiego innego, z czym miałeś do czynienia. Odetnij się zatem od przeszłości i podejmij kroki, by zacząć wychowywać w miłości, przebaczeniu i moralności.

Niezależnie od tego, czy jesteś rodzicem, czy chcesz nim zostać, czy po prostu masz rodziców, ta książka dotknie sedna tego, kim jesteś i jak postrzegają cię inni — byś mógł w pełni przejąć kontrolę nad swoim życiem i pokazać swoim dzieciom, jak mają kierować własnym.

Nieważne, jak poukładani wydajemy się na zewnątrz – wszyscy zmagamy się z tym samym: próbujemy budować życie na fundamencie tego, co zrobili lub co zaniedbali nasi rodzice w okresie, gdy formowała się nasza osobowość. Pracując nad sobą, zawsze lub niemal zawsze w jakiś sposób nawiązujesz do doświadczeń zebranych podczas pierwszych dwudziestu lat spędzonych na tej planecie. – Gary John Bishop

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Personal Development, Psychology

224 pages, Paperback

First published September 12, 2023

About the author

Gary John Bishop began his life journey in Glasgow, Scotland. The grit and wit of his early life have contributed to his tough-love, in-your-face approach to coaching. Coupled with world-class training and development, Gary has created a potent brew of effectiveness and the ability to reach through the crust of people's lives and root out the deeper issues that consume them and tie them to their hurdles. His ability to elevate and expand people's greatness makes the kind of life-altering impact that is so rare in the industry. Gary's hyper-awareness and years of elite training allow him to assess each client and guide them to the path that best expresses their lives; with micro precision, he cuts straight to the heart of what is going to make a difference.

Gary's experience and quick ascent to becoming a senior program director for one of the world's leading personal development organizations is proof that he is dedicated and committed to what is possible for every client and person he encounters. He doesn't claim perfection. He's been through life and doesn't sugar coat his folly. He uses his experience as both a human and a world class coach to mentor and coach people to raise the bar higher for what they once thought would be their greatest self.

Gary John Bishop is one of the leading Personal Development experts in the industry with a global reputation that has impacted tens of thousands of people worldwide. His "urban philosophy" approach represents a new wave of personal empowerment and life mastery that has caused miraculous results for people in the quality and performance of their lives.
 He calls it like it is while being influenced by ontology, phenomenology and the philosophy of some of the world's greatest thinkers. You be inspired, unburdened and grounded. Working with Gary creates the space to be an altered version of you. The greatness you once imagined becomes a reality, only its bigger, better and more incredibly freeing than you dreamed it could be. His work life changing.

Gary is willing to say what needs to be said. His writing is a higher level experience and the benefits of his philosophies have touched lives worldwide.

Reviews

[Niki Schuster · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good message if you're a parent and worried about how your kids will turn out and how good you are doing as a parent. At the very least, the last chapter is worth it. Understanding that you can't blame your choices on your past and how you were raised is a big focus. I definitely recommend for any parents, especially those of 12-16 year olds. It's eye opening.

Plus, if you listen to the audio book on Spotify, listening to Gary John Bishop drop the f-bomb with his Scottish accent is totally worth it 😂

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I get his approach isn't for everyone, but he raised some questions about what I believe about parenting and why I make some of the choices I do with my kids, that feel like seismic mental shifts that I wouldn't have ever reached on my own. Did I enjoy a hard look at myself? Not entirely, but that's the point, isn't it?

[Natty · Rating 3 out of 5]

Same as all his books. Drilling that one thing into your mind. Not bad, but should have more reviews, and there should be a disclaimer...

[Taylor · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is not a parenting book. It's a self help book that curses too much.

[April · Rating 2 out of 5]

Angry Author 😡

Bishop's book is a practical guide for parents, filled with wisdom and actionable advice. It challenges traditional parenting norms and encourages parents to be more self-aware and intentional. A must-read for those seeking to raise well-rounded, confident children.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would’ve given this book 5 stars but I can’t bc of the language. Most of Gary Bishops titles say the F word so it’s not shocking but I just can’t recommend this to everyone bc of language. But I LOVED the concepts and ideas!

[Angie Arnold · Rating 2 out of 5]

Challenges your own version of history and the omissions/additions the brain creates to compensate for the lack of accurate recall of the past as a child growing up and the impressions you make of your own parents that can subconsciously transfer on to your own children. Last chapter is the most useful in terms of creating a basic summary of an action plan to be a better parent.

[Ally Hecht · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author challenges the reader by looking back on their past history and reflecting on their own relationship with their parents and how their parents grew up.

It was honestly a little hard to get through the book. It wasn't until halfway through the book until the information became relevant to actual parenting advice.

[Sierra Flores · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved his honesty and use of ~colorful language~ however, I was expecting a little more. A quick read, a few good points, but it’s nothing I couldn’t have googled. 😬

[Wanda ❣️ · Rating 3 out of 5]

He used a lot of words to say: to be present, to let go of your own childhood, and to enjoy the experience.

[Chomiczkowe.recenzje · Rating 3 out of 5]

Q: Lubicie poradniki książkowe? Jeśli tak, to z jakiej dziedziny?

Od czasu do czasu sięgam po książki związane z rodzicielstwem. Trafiałem już na lepsze i gorsze pozycje, stąd wiem, że wszystkiego można się spodziewać. Tym razem niestety natrafiłem na pozycję z tej drugiej kategorii. "Dorośnij. Zostań rodzicem, na jakiego zasługują twoje dzieci" Gary'ego Johna Bishopa to bardziej poradnik rozwoju osobistego utrzymany w coachingowej konwencji niż poradnik związany z rodzicielstwem, choć pojawiają się tam również i takie kwestie.

Nie będę Wam odradzał tego tytułu, ale nie mogę go Wam również polecić. Decyzję pozostawię Wam, ponieważ ta książka na pewno znajdzie swoich zwolenników, którym taki styl leży. Mnie niestety autor tą pozycją nie przekonał. Nie zaprzeczę, że są tutaj poruszone ważne kwestie i rzeczy warte uwagi, tylko że jest to kropla w jeziorze, bo na ocean ta książka jest za cienka. Tytuł ten ma 200 stron, a tak naprawdę przydatne uwagi i rozwiązania myślę, że można było zmieścić na 20 stronach. Reszta to coachingowe gadanie przeplatane wulgaryzmami, co do takiego poradnika kompletnie mi nie pasuje, no i oczywiście cytatami filozofów i znanych ludzi, bo w coachingowym poradniku muszą być cytaty.

Jak mówię, książka zawiera przydatne informacje, ale nie ma ich tak wiele, żeby według mnie była warta uwagi, a styl mnie po prostu odrzuca, stąd nie mogę wystawić jej wysokiej oceny. Ale jak mówię, na pewno znajdą się jej zwolennicy, do których po prostu taka forma przemawia.

Więcej moich recenzji znajdziecie na Instagramie @chomiczkowe.recenzje, gdzie serdecznie zapraszam.

[Mike Zickar · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some people might really enjoy this book or find it of value, but for me the book seems targeted to people who are angry and frustrated at their own parents and how to resolve that anger so it doesn't tarnish your kids. If that's you, you might find the book of more value.

I felt like the book is largely a repackaging of ideas that the author has explored previously and I was frankly surprised how little about parenting or family life was in the book. I listened to the audioversion and I wasn't really clear if the author was himself a parent until the final part of the book, which I found to be the most useful. The author talks about how he doesn't like to get into specifics of his life and experiences, but I found the most useful and powerful part of the book was when he shared a particularly poignant interaction with his own son. I wish the book was filled more of that, and less general thoughts about reshaping your own narrative.

[Lucyna Tomoń · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ta książka nie spodoba się wszystkim. Wcale nie z tego powodu, który deklaruje autor, że prawdy w niej zawarte mogą być niewygodne (choć to prawda). Raczej dlatego, że jej język jest bardzo specyficzny. Padają przekleństwa.
Co nie zmienia faktu, że poleciłabym ją bardzo bardzo wielu osobom.
W stu procentach zgadzam się bowiem z autorem co najmniej w trzech kwestiach:
-najpierw musimy ogarnąć siebie, by móc dobrze wychowywać nasze dzieci
-język kształtuje naszą rzeczywistość (bardzo! Mogłabym mnożyć przykłady!)
- autentyczność jest KLUCZEM w rodzicielstwie. I w życiu.
Wydaje mi się, że trzeba się przekonać do tej książki samemu ale ja kupuję tę wersję świata, którą kreuje autor i w wielu miejscach się z nim zgadzam.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

[Audiobook] This book is a bit wacky, no surprise given the author. But I will try any parenting book, even occasionally a wacky one. It focused a lot of dealing with your own trauma before bringing kids into it. Ok, fair enough. The first 3/4s were ok, kind of random, leaving me wondering when we would get to the parenting stuff. The last 1/4 was actually 5 stars. I’ll remember the story of the author on the phone with his kid from across the world. “Ok, what do you think we should do next?” Or whatever it was. Yes.

[Megan Larson Comden · Rating 2 out of 5]

While it has some valid points, Grow Up wasn't my favorite book, but that could totally be a me thing.

3 hours is relatively short for an audiobook, but in this instance it felt a bit dragged out. The author seems to be pushing hard for people to take ownership of their situation and included elements of stoicism and radical acceptance. These things resonated with me. I think the delivery was a little off. It was just okay, but I am definitely willing to try another book by this popular author!

[Cindy Lu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Normally I’m a big fan of this author and always appreciate his hard-hitting truth-telling. I picked this up expecting another dose of that tough love—but it fell well below his usual standard. I was disappointed, though I still respect his work enough to keep reading whatever he puts out. This one might land better with gentler readers, but I prefer his no-BS approach and have no interest in catering to the snowflake mindset floating around these days.

[Analisa Carrillo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book basically tells it how it is. The language used is explicit, but also makes you giggle.

I love how open and honest the author is and the analogies used. I think it's important for every parent to read this book because, whether we like it or not, we tend to bring everything that happened to us in our childhood into our present as parents..

[AM · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book that could have been a blog post, honestly. However, it did have some helpful advice.

The big messages are:

Let go of the story you tell yourself about your own childhood and stop parenting out of comparison to that.

Live with radical love and forgiveness for everyone.

Live with integrity. Live with authenticity.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Even though this book was short and sweet, there was a bit too much preamble before he got into the meat of his advice. I did like it overall and there were some parts about forgiveness that were quite eye opening. I would give another one of his books a try, or listen to one on audiobook because I'd like to hear his tone as much of the book sounded somewhat sarcastic.

[kevin browning · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an amazing book for those who wish to become the parent their kids deserve. Even though I don't have kids, the ideas of suthdnticity, forgiveness, and stopping the blame resonated with me and have me rethinking my views on teaching young adults.

[David Shane · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite authors, always helping us, point the finger inward to look for solutions. I enjoy the humorous tone in all his books, this is no exception. If you ever get the pleasure, he narrates his own audio books as well, which is amazing.

[Alexis · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great reminder to me as a parent of the main emotions I should be focusing on as I am raising my son. Some of the points hit home, but I needed to read them. Gary did a great job showing me what I need to work on and how to improve as a parent.

[Sherri · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a thing I read.

While there was definitely some helpful advice in here (primarily about owning our own issues so that we don't pass them down), it mostly felt like the author was just giving himself a pat on the back for being a decent parent.

[Erin Gatlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is straight forward. Fantastic read in my self improvement journey.

[Annie Meyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great tips and advice in a REAL format. Some cussing, but it gets the point across! Great read.

[Heidi Stewart · Rating 5 out of 5]

Be authentic to your children. Let them See who you are. Don't carry the baggage of your childhood or past and give to your kids. Be better.

[Amelia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Could have done without the swearing.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

only gets to his point around page 122
love, forgiveness, integrity, authenticity. show up as a parent and in life with this.
thats the whole jist of the book.

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick read, good thoughts. Language sort of harsh which is on brand for him... But overall I thought it was pretty good

[Lindsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s a must read for everyone