What do you think?
Rate this book
Autoimmunity and the Good Girls: How Permission to Put Ourselves First Has the Power to Keep Us Well
“Sara’s an architect of change.”—Maria Shriver
The inspirational, deeply researched wellness journey by the award-winning filmmaker, activist, and founder of Women Rising, shining a light on how too many girls are trained to self-silence and serve others—and how we can heal.
When Sara Hirsh Bordo was growing up in a big Texas-Lebanese family, as the eldest daughter, she was expected to take care of everyone else around her at the expense of her own needs and worth. But the more she gave of herself, the more ill she became with everything from autoimmune disease to cancer. As an award-winning filmmaker, she spent decades empowering other women and telling their stories, all the while watching her own health decline. She soon came to realize that only when she was sovereign in her own voice did she grow stronger and healthier.
When she funded the first quantitative research at the intersection of female empowerment and autoimmunity, she found overwhelming confirmation of her theory that girls in caretaker roles—especially eldest daughters—are disproportionately likely to develop autoimmune conditions later in life, whether that's Hashimoto's thyroiditis, endometriosis, Crohn's disease, type-1 diabetes, chronic fatigue syndrome, irritable bowel syndrome, fibromyalgia, or others. This groundbreaking study was endorsed by former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Richard Carmona and received national media attention.
In this audiobook, you will learn from her insights,
inner child work, including how to remother and reparent yourself how to unlearn your primary role as a caregiver impacts of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) on autoimmunity and poor health shocking facts from her research, such as the fact that more than 6 in 10 women with autoimmune diseases were raised as either the oldest or only daughter in their families moving personal narratives from the women surveyed—and how they have healed Incorporating proprietary, evidence-based research, practical resources, exclusive expert interviews, and inspiring stories, Autoimmunity and the Good Girls is a rousing testament to the missing modality in women’s health—our voices, our needs, and our desires.
The inspirational, deeply researched wellness journey by the award-winning filmmaker, activist, and founder of Women Rising, shining a light on how too many girls are trained to self-silence and serve others—and how we can heal.
When Sara Hirsh Bordo was growing up in a big Texas-Lebanese family, as the eldest daughter, she was expected to take care of everyone else around her at the expense of her own needs and worth. But the more she gave of herself, the more ill she became with everything from autoimmune disease to cancer. As an award-winning filmmaker, she spent decades empowering other women and telling their stories, all the while watching her own health decline. She soon came to realize that only when she was sovereign in her own voice did she grow stronger and healthier.
When she funded the first quantitative research at the intersection of female empowerment and autoimmunity, she found overwhelming confirmation of her theory that girls in caretaker roles—especially eldest daughters—are disproportionately likely to develop autoimmune conditions later in life, whether that's Hashimoto's thyroiditis, endometriosis, Crohn's disease, type-1 diabetes, chronic fatigue syndrome, irritable bowel syndrome, fibromyalgia, or others. This groundbreaking study was endorsed by former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Richard Carmona and received national media attention.
In this audiobook, you will learn from her insights,
inner child work, including how to remother and reparent yourself how to unlearn your primary role as a caregiver impacts of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) on autoimmunity and poor health shocking facts from her research, such as the fact that more than 6 in 10 women with autoimmune diseases were raised as either the oldest or only daughter in their families moving personal narratives from the women surveyed—and how they have healed Incorporating proprietary, evidence-based research, practical resources, exclusive expert interviews, and inspiring stories, Autoimmunity and the Good Girls is a rousing testament to the missing modality in women’s health—our voices, our needs, and our desires.
304 pages, Hardcover
Published June 2, 2026
About the author
Sara Hirsh Bordo
1 book4 followersSara Hirsh Bordo is a 15-time award-winning documentary filmmaker and founder/CEO of the female empowerment and impact-driven production company Women Rising. Her directorial debut, A Brave Heart: The Lizzie Velasquez Story, premiered at SXSW, where it won the Audience Award and secured global distribution. Beyond the screen, Sara has directed live events for women and girls from Prevention magazine’s Health & Wellness Summit to the United State of Women Summit keynoted by Former First Lady Michelle Obama. Sara has also been honored to storytell and strategize for inspirational partners from ConnectHER International Film Festival to Toyota, espnW, and Warner Bros.’ Wonder Woman franchise.
For more than fifteen years throughout Sara’s filmmaking work, she was living with Hashimoto’s disease and other diagnoses that catalyzed her curiosity and commitment to understand her own health story. In 2023, she funded the first sociological research at the intersection of female empowerment and autoimmunity in American women. The findings of “Autoimmunity and the ‘Good Girls,’ ” which Sara made public for free, has been downloaded across 18+ countries.
Now, healthy and with a passport that won’t quit, Sara is Aunt Sissy to nine nieces and nephews, and Godmother Sara to three godchildren. A portion of Sara’s proceeds from every sale will be donated to the Society for Women’s Health Research. This is her first book.
For more than fifteen years throughout Sara’s filmmaking work, she was living with Hashimoto’s disease and other diagnoses that catalyzed her curiosity and commitment to understand her own health story. In 2023, she funded the first sociological research at the intersection of female empowerment and autoimmunity in American women. The findings of “Autoimmunity and the ‘Good Girls,’ ” which Sara made public for free, has been downloaded across 18+ countries.
Now, healthy and with a passport that won’t quit, Sara is Aunt Sissy to nine nieces and nephews, and Godmother Sara to three godchildren. A portion of Sara’s proceeds from every sale will be donated to the Society for Women’s Health Research. This is her first book.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
February 7, 2026
I think I found this book at the right time. Had I found it years ago, I don’t think it would have made sense yet. I’m going to explain some personal history.
When I was in my twenties, I had a non cancerous bone tumor. I had another a few years later. I’ve dealt with a lot of chronic pain for over twenty years now. If someone had tried to explain the concept of this book to me then, I think I’d have thought they believed my pain could be wished a way with a positive attitude and I wouldn’t have been receptive to figuring out what the book actually meant.
Now, I’m also dealing with fibromyalgia.
Fibromyalgia is an autoimmune disease and dealing with an autoimmune disease isn’t the same as dealing with my other chronic pain.
I’d was in a cycle of stress and flares that felt impossible to break out of.
I had to add an anxiety medication to my other list of medications and also started seeing a pain counselor. This type of counselor advises on ways to better handle your illness and pain because the stress from the illness and pain actually makes it worse.
One of the first things we talked about was a stressful situation I’d been dealing with lately…guess what, it had to deal with standing up for myself when doing that wasn’t viewed as being “good”. I told her about how hard it was but that I felt like I had to stand up for myself if I wanted to protect my health.
And she said one of the first things she’d been planning to discuss with me was something she referred to as “Aggressive communication”. Sounds scary, right? It’s actually about saying “no” when it’s the right decision for our health. I told her that I’d spent half my life aware of my physical limitations but had only recently become aware of my emotional limitations. I’d never stuck up for what was right for myself emotionally because I’d been expected to be a peacemaker and to be good and to defer to what made someone else happy.
But when it came down to my health being a motivator? Then I had to stand up for my emotional health. It was more important to be healthy than to be thought of as being good.
This book acknowledged that and how we get in that position and how hard it can be to break a cycle like that.
This book isn’t saying there’s a problem with being an empath or a caregiver (thank Goodness or I’d need to become a new person lol). It’s saying that we can be only a care giver to others, we have to care for our own health and emotions too.
The book also discussed several other things my pain counselor has recommended too.
I got to read an early ebook edition from NetGalley and also recommended this book to a few friends who have pre-ordered the physical copy.
When I was in my twenties, I had a non cancerous bone tumor. I had another a few years later. I’ve dealt with a lot of chronic pain for over twenty years now. If someone had tried to explain the concept of this book to me then, I think I’d have thought they believed my pain could be wished a way with a positive attitude and I wouldn’t have been receptive to figuring out what the book actually meant.
Now, I’m also dealing with fibromyalgia.
Fibromyalgia is an autoimmune disease and dealing with an autoimmune disease isn’t the same as dealing with my other chronic pain.
I’d was in a cycle of stress and flares that felt impossible to break out of.
I had to add an anxiety medication to my other list of medications and also started seeing a pain counselor. This type of counselor advises on ways to better handle your illness and pain because the stress from the illness and pain actually makes it worse.
One of the first things we talked about was a stressful situation I’d been dealing with lately…guess what, it had to deal with standing up for myself when doing that wasn’t viewed as being “good”. I told her about how hard it was but that I felt like I had to stand up for myself if I wanted to protect my health.
And she said one of the first things she’d been planning to discuss with me was something she referred to as “Aggressive communication”. Sounds scary, right? It’s actually about saying “no” when it’s the right decision for our health. I told her that I’d spent half my life aware of my physical limitations but had only recently become aware of my emotional limitations. I’d never stuck up for what was right for myself emotionally because I’d been expected to be a peacemaker and to be good and to defer to what made someone else happy.
But when it came down to my health being a motivator? Then I had to stand up for my emotional health. It was more important to be healthy than to be thought of as being good.
This book acknowledged that and how we get in that position and how hard it can be to break a cycle like that.
This book isn’t saying there’s a problem with being an empath or a caregiver (thank Goodness or I’d need to become a new person lol). It’s saying that we can be only a care giver to others, we have to care for our own health and emotions too.
The book also discussed several other things my pain counselor has recommended too.
I got to read an early ebook edition from NetGalley and also recommended this book to a few friends who have pre-ordered the physical copy.
May 24, 2026
Let me begin this review with a definition and background on myself. In autoimmunity, the immune system gets confused and the body mistakingly attacks its own healthy organs and cells. It can be genetic, triggered by stress or environmental factors. About 80% of people diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder are women. Most common types are rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, alopecia, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, and Multiple Sclerosis. There is no cure but it is treatable. I was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disorder three (3) years ago, which prompted my interest in reading any and everything about autoimmunity. So here I am reviewing Autoimmunity and the Good Girls: How Permission to Put Ourselves First Has the Power to Keep Us Well.
Women have been told to be good, put others first, be caretakers and neglect their own needs. This comes at a cost per award-winning filmmaker, activist, and founder of Women Rising, Sara Hirsh Bordo. Lives are compromised and so are immune systems. She funded quantitative research with results showing women raised in caretaker roles (eldest daughters) are disproportionately likely to develop autoimmune diseases.
"The most common reflection women share with me is they had no idea that how they were raised created the body they now live in." ~ 10%
I expected a personal account of the author's own experience with being diagnosed (✔️) along with careful, relevant research supporting the conclusion that firstborn daughters or "good girls" are likely to develop an autoimmune disorder (🫤) and ways to empower or heal in a healthy way (❤️🩹). What I got was an author saying we make our own selves sick; being a good girl growing up creates a compromised immune system in womanhood. Who wants to read that?! While lying on my deathbed the last thing I would have wanted to hear was, "You did this to yourself." And I firmly disagree that my body attacks itself because of how I was raised.
While I appreciate the anecdotes and personal experience that Bordo shared, the tone was very shame-on-you. I fully understand that her experience is not my experience. But there may be readers that take Bordo's word as gospel. This would create the opposite effect of the book's purpose. It lacks an expert's opinion, facts from a medical professional, acknowledgment of other studies, and female empowerment. I was this close 🤏🏾 to DNF'ing but wanted to see if it got better before I stamp it as unrecommended to Bookhearts. I am left uninspired, offended and unheard after reading Bordo's Autoimmunity and the Good Girls.
Even so, I recognize the effort it takes to release a book and that milestone is worth celebrating. So Happy Early Pub Day to Sara Hirsh Bordo! Autoimmunity and the Good Girls will be on shelves June 2, 2026.
Disclaimer: An advance copy was received directly from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions are my own and would be the same if I spent my hard-earned coins. ~LiteraryMarie
Women have been told to be good, put others first, be caretakers and neglect their own needs. This comes at a cost per award-winning filmmaker, activist, and founder of Women Rising, Sara Hirsh Bordo. Lives are compromised and so are immune systems. She funded quantitative research with results showing women raised in caretaker roles (eldest daughters) are disproportionately likely to develop autoimmune diseases.
"The most common reflection women share with me is they had no idea that how they were raised created the body they now live in." ~ 10%
I expected a personal account of the author's own experience with being diagnosed (✔️) along with careful, relevant research supporting the conclusion that firstborn daughters or "good girls" are likely to develop an autoimmune disorder (🫤) and ways to empower or heal in a healthy way (❤️🩹). What I got was an author saying we make our own selves sick; being a good girl growing up creates a compromised immune system in womanhood. Who wants to read that?! While lying on my deathbed the last thing I would have wanted to hear was, "You did this to yourself." And I firmly disagree that my body attacks itself because of how I was raised.
While I appreciate the anecdotes and personal experience that Bordo shared, the tone was very shame-on-you. I fully understand that her experience is not my experience. But there may be readers that take Bordo's word as gospel. This would create the opposite effect of the book's purpose. It lacks an expert's opinion, facts from a medical professional, acknowledgment of other studies, and female empowerment. I was this close 🤏🏾 to DNF'ing but wanted to see if it got better before I stamp it as unrecommended to Bookhearts. I am left uninspired, offended and unheard after reading Bordo's Autoimmunity and the Good Girls.
Even so, I recognize the effort it takes to release a book and that milestone is worth celebrating. So Happy Early Pub Day to Sara Hirsh Bordo! Autoimmunity and the Good Girls will be on shelves June 2, 2026.
Disclaimer: An advance copy was received directly from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions are my own and would be the same if I spent my hard-earned coins. ~LiteraryMarie
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
A revolutionary, eye-opening biographical medical exposé masterclass!
"A groundbreaking data-driven study showing how chronic caregiving and self-silencing physically shatter a woman's immune system."
In AUTOIMMUNITY AND THE GOOD GIRLS, fifteen-time award-winning filmmaker and activist Sara Hirsh Bordo departs from her usual cinematic documentary portraits to deliver a deeply atmospheric, evidence-based health and memoir mystery.
The story hinges on an acclaimed female director tracking down an invisible biological link between societal identity conditioning and terminal physical collapse.
Eldest daughter caretaker vs. a self-sabotaging immune system.
Elevator Pitch
An award-winning filmmaker facing a dual diagnosis of autoimmune disease and cancer funds the world's first quantitative research connecting female empowerment to chronic illness, uncovering a shocking pattern of how childhood caregiving roles compromise adult physical survival.
Setting
The modern landscape of competitive media production mixed with the sterile, high-stakes environments of medical research labs. The ultimate setting is the internal matrix of the female body itself, transitioning from a Texas-Lebanese household defined by traditional family service to the global stage of international medical recognition.
Vibe
Empowering, validating, and revolutionary!
It pairs the clinical, data-driven authority of an expert investigative report with the raw, vulnerable intimacy of a life-saving medical memoir.
Genre
Non-fiction / Health & Wellness / Memoir.
Themes
~The High Cost of Being "Good":
How training girls to be polite, quiet caretakers physically manifests as chronic adult illness.
~The Eldest Daughter Syndrome:
The disproportionate health risks born by eldest or only daughters raised under intense domestic caretaking burdens.
~Sovereign Self-Permission:
Learning that reclaiming your personal voice and setting hard boundaries is a vital medical necessity rather than a selfish choice.
~Re-Mothering and Archetypes:
Healing the inner child through modern and mystical feminine frameworks to reprogram the autonomic nervous system.
SARA HIRSH BORDO: THE SYSTEMIC INVESTIGATOR
Turning profound personal physical collapse into a global crusade for women's healthcare reform.
Standout Characters
~Sara Hirsh Bordo: The fierce, relentless protagonist; an autoimmune-diagnosed documentarian who refuses to accept standard medical dismissals and uncovers a groundbreaking data link.
~Dr. Richard Carmona: The 17th U.S. Surgeon General; a towering, expert medical authority whose crucial endorsement validates Sara's global health findings.
Author Writing Standout
Bordo’s trademark background as an investigative filmmaker shines through in her meticulous, highly empathetic rendering of personal and collective data. She completely avoids dry, clinical academic text, writing the everyday logistics of physical collapse, statistical analysis, and emotional breakthrough with striking, tactile realism.
Takeaway
When women stay small and silent to keep the peace, their bodies will eventually internalize the war; true health requires the sovereign permission to put ourselves first.
Title Significance
Autoimmunity and the Good Girls acts as a brilliant, direct indictment of a cultural phenomenon. It explicitly connects a clinical physical diagnosis to a gendered societal expectation, highlighting that the biological mechanism of a body attacking itself is inextricably linked to a girlhood trained to attack her own boundaries.
Metaphor
The compromised immune system serves as the central metaphor of the book. It represents a broken home security network—an internal, defensive force that has been so systematically trained to ignore its own needs that it can no longer distinguish between external threats and its own fundamental architecture.
Why You Should Read
Read this if you are a fan of deeply validating, mind-body medical non-fiction like When the Body Says No by Dr. Gabor Maté, or if you want a revolutionary text that provides an empirical, liberating roadmap for healing chronic illness through radical self-preservation.
My Thoughts
Fascinating! The book succeeds beautifully in building immediate systemic tension. The data-driven findings are perfectly captured—especially the staggering statistic that over 6 in 10 women with autoimmunity were raised as eldest or only daughters. Sara is an unforgettable, fiercely articulate lead whose raw vulnerability and documentary eye make this text incredibly grounded. A masterfully executed, life-saving climax. If you have ever expereinced auto-immune diseases and being the eldest daughter, you will relate.
I appreciated the author's insights, research, and her personal experiences. As a vegan for many years, an avid cyclist, health-conscious, and like to have control over my health, a type A personality, perfectionist/Virgo, workaholic, and very frustrated with the medical and health care system.
This book is an extraordinary treasure, with a wealth of information and resources, offering a breath of fresh air as it illuminates the struggles shared by many. It reveals the intricate connections between these challenges, making it clear that we are not alone in our experiences. The insights within its pages resonate deeply, showing just how intertwined our lives can be.
Verdict: 5 / 5 Stars.
"A groundbreaking, masterfully executed medical exposé that pairs shocking quantitative data with an unforgettable story of female reclamation and healing."
Recs
~When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress by Dr. Gabor Maté (for the definitive, foundational study on the mind-body stress-disease connection)
~The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture by Dr. Gabor Maté (for more essential, five-star reading on how societal trauma shapes physical illness)
Special thanks to Harper One and NetGalley for graciously sharing an advanced reading copy in exchange for my honest thoughts.
Blog review posted @
JudithDCollins.com
@JudithDCollins | #JDCMustReadBooks
My Rating: 5 Stars
Pub Date: June 2, 2026
June 2026 Must-Read Books
June Newsletter
On a personal note: The author's journey and moving story struck a deep chord within me. Absolutely brilliant! As the eldest daughter myself, I found elements of my own journey reflected in its pages. I have navigated a long and challenging path with autoimmune conditions that have shaped my life in significant ways. Even now, I continue to grapple with the complexities and struggles that accompany these health challenges. The themes of resilience and perseverance in the story resonated with my own experiences and feelings.
My Autoimmune history:
~Giant Cell Arteritis (GCA/TA) Temporal arteritis (please add GCA to your list in the book)
~Polymyalgia rheumatica (PMR)
~Arteritic Ischemic optic neuropathy (AION)
~Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency due to long-term steroid (Dexamethasone) treatment for GCA.
~RRMS Relapsing-Remitting Multiple Sclerosis
~Hypothyroidism (Hyper) in the past
~Thyroid Nodules
~Fibromyalgia
~Positive ANA
~DNA AB (DS) Crithidia, IFA (positive)
~IBS Irritable Bowel Syndrome
~Lyme Disease
~Epstein-Barr
~Very high SED/CRP levels over 100
In addition, very serious allergies, degenerative disc disease, tachycardia, osteoporosis, and cataracts (due to steroids), Mast Cell Activation, Multiple Chemical Sensitivities: Severe medication, chemicals, environmental, and food allergies; familial hypercholesterolemia, Electromagnetic sensitivity (EHS), Chronic rhinosinusitis, poor recovery, heavy bleeding starting at age 11, long extensive intense labors (childbirth-twice), cystic ovaries, partial hysterectomy at an early age, plus more.
"A groundbreaking data-driven study showing how chronic caregiving and self-silencing physically shatter a woman's immune system."
In AUTOIMMUNITY AND THE GOOD GIRLS, fifteen-time award-winning filmmaker and activist Sara Hirsh Bordo departs from her usual cinematic documentary portraits to deliver a deeply atmospheric, evidence-based health and memoir mystery.
The story hinges on an acclaimed female director tracking down an invisible biological link between societal identity conditioning and terminal physical collapse.
Eldest daughter caretaker vs. a self-sabotaging immune system.
Elevator Pitch
An award-winning filmmaker facing a dual diagnosis of autoimmune disease and cancer funds the world's first quantitative research connecting female empowerment to chronic illness, uncovering a shocking pattern of how childhood caregiving roles compromise adult physical survival.
Setting
The modern landscape of competitive media production mixed with the sterile, high-stakes environments of medical research labs. The ultimate setting is the internal matrix of the female body itself, transitioning from a Texas-Lebanese household defined by traditional family service to the global stage of international medical recognition.
Vibe
Empowering, validating, and revolutionary!
It pairs the clinical, data-driven authority of an expert investigative report with the raw, vulnerable intimacy of a life-saving medical memoir.
Genre
Non-fiction / Health & Wellness / Memoir.
Themes
~The High Cost of Being "Good":
How training girls to be polite, quiet caretakers physically manifests as chronic adult illness.
~The Eldest Daughter Syndrome:
The disproportionate health risks born by eldest or only daughters raised under intense domestic caretaking burdens.
~Sovereign Self-Permission:
Learning that reclaiming your personal voice and setting hard boundaries is a vital medical necessity rather than a selfish choice.
~Re-Mothering and Archetypes:
Healing the inner child through modern and mystical feminine frameworks to reprogram the autonomic nervous system.
SARA HIRSH BORDO: THE SYSTEMIC INVESTIGATOR
Turning profound personal physical collapse into a global crusade for women's healthcare reform.
Standout Characters
~Sara Hirsh Bordo: The fierce, relentless protagonist; an autoimmune-diagnosed documentarian who refuses to accept standard medical dismissals and uncovers a groundbreaking data link.
~Dr. Richard Carmona: The 17th U.S. Surgeon General; a towering, expert medical authority whose crucial endorsement validates Sara's global health findings.
Author Writing Standout
Bordo’s trademark background as an investigative filmmaker shines through in her meticulous, highly empathetic rendering of personal and collective data. She completely avoids dry, clinical academic text, writing the everyday logistics of physical collapse, statistical analysis, and emotional breakthrough with striking, tactile realism.
Takeaway
When women stay small and silent to keep the peace, their bodies will eventually internalize the war; true health requires the sovereign permission to put ourselves first.
Title Significance
Autoimmunity and the Good Girls acts as a brilliant, direct indictment of a cultural phenomenon. It explicitly connects a clinical physical diagnosis to a gendered societal expectation, highlighting that the biological mechanism of a body attacking itself is inextricably linked to a girlhood trained to attack her own boundaries.
Metaphor
The compromised immune system serves as the central metaphor of the book. It represents a broken home security network—an internal, defensive force that has been so systematically trained to ignore its own needs that it can no longer distinguish between external threats and its own fundamental architecture.
Why You Should Read
Read this if you are a fan of deeply validating, mind-body medical non-fiction like When the Body Says No by Dr. Gabor Maté, or if you want a revolutionary text that provides an empirical, liberating roadmap for healing chronic illness through radical self-preservation.
My Thoughts
Fascinating! The book succeeds beautifully in building immediate systemic tension. The data-driven findings are perfectly captured—especially the staggering statistic that over 6 in 10 women with autoimmunity were raised as eldest or only daughters. Sara is an unforgettable, fiercely articulate lead whose raw vulnerability and documentary eye make this text incredibly grounded. A masterfully executed, life-saving climax. If you have ever expereinced auto-immune diseases and being the eldest daughter, you will relate.
I appreciated the author's insights, research, and her personal experiences. As a vegan for many years, an avid cyclist, health-conscious, and like to have control over my health, a type A personality, perfectionist/Virgo, workaholic, and very frustrated with the medical and health care system.
This book is an extraordinary treasure, with a wealth of information and resources, offering a breath of fresh air as it illuminates the struggles shared by many. It reveals the intricate connections between these challenges, making it clear that we are not alone in our experiences. The insights within its pages resonate deeply, showing just how intertwined our lives can be.
Verdict: 5 / 5 Stars.
"A groundbreaking, masterfully executed medical exposé that pairs shocking quantitative data with an unforgettable story of female reclamation and healing."
Recs
~When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress by Dr. Gabor Maté (for the definitive, foundational study on the mind-body stress-disease connection)
~The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture by Dr. Gabor Maté (for more essential, five-star reading on how societal trauma shapes physical illness)
Special thanks to Harper One and NetGalley for graciously sharing an advanced reading copy in exchange for my honest thoughts.
Blog review posted @
JudithDCollins.com
@JudithDCollins | #JDCMustReadBooks
My Rating: 5 Stars
Pub Date: June 2, 2026
June 2026 Must-Read Books
June Newsletter
On a personal note: The author's journey and moving story struck a deep chord within me. Absolutely brilliant! As the eldest daughter myself, I found elements of my own journey reflected in its pages. I have navigated a long and challenging path with autoimmune conditions that have shaped my life in significant ways. Even now, I continue to grapple with the complexities and struggles that accompany these health challenges. The themes of resilience and perseverance in the story resonated with my own experiences and feelings.
My Autoimmune history:
~Giant Cell Arteritis (GCA/TA) Temporal arteritis (please add GCA to your list in the book)
~Polymyalgia rheumatica (PMR)
~Arteritic Ischemic optic neuropathy (AION)
~Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency due to long-term steroid (Dexamethasone) treatment for GCA.
~RRMS Relapsing-Remitting Multiple Sclerosis
~Hypothyroidism (Hyper) in the past
~Thyroid Nodules
~Fibromyalgia
~Positive ANA
~DNA AB (DS) Crithidia, IFA (positive)
~IBS Irritable Bowel Syndrome
~Lyme Disease
~Epstein-Barr
~Very high SED/CRP levels over 100
In addition, very serious allergies, degenerative disc disease, tachycardia, osteoporosis, and cataracts (due to steroids), Mast Cell Activation, Multiple Chemical Sensitivities: Severe medication, chemicals, environmental, and food allergies; familial hypercholesterolemia, Electromagnetic sensitivity (EHS), Chronic rhinosinusitis, poor recovery, heavy bleeding starting at age 11, long extensive intense labors (childbirth-twice), cystic ovaries, partial hysterectomy at an early age, plus more.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Growing up in a big Texas-Lebanese family, Sara Hirsh Bordo quickly learned that being the eldest daughter meant taking care of everyone else - before, and often at the expense of herself. Like the Giving Tree, the more she gave away of herself, the more she suffered, facing a slew of diseases covering the spectrum of poor immunity to cancer as she grew up and kept her "Good Girl" habits. Watching her own health decline - even when she used her voice as an award-winning filmmaker to uplift the voices of other women - led her to the realization that only when she was sovereign in her own voice did she grow stronger and healthier.
Bordo also wondered inf her own "Good Girl" tendencies lead to similar poor health outcomes in other women. This question would lead her to fund the first quantitative research at the intersection of female empowerment and autoimmunity, giving weight to the idea that girls in caretaker roles—especially eldest daughters—are disproportionately likely to develop autoimmune conditions later in life. Part research, part memoir, and part exploration, Bordo's work stands as a rousing testament to the missing modality in women’s health—our voices, our needs, and our desires.
I really, really wanted to love this book. I am constantly looking for new books and research at the intersection of health, medicine, race, gender, and class, and how the external factors we take for granted affect health (especially if they're well-researched, medicine-heavy, and are accessible to both scientific and lay readers). I unfortunately found this book lacking in several key factors that would have made it a good and recommendable read for my audience.
I thought the book started off on a great foot, interconnecting the author's lived experiences with the research she advertises as a key component of this book, but after about the first 30% of the book, I feel like the storytelling somewhat went off the rails. There was not enough information on inclusions/exclusions for the "study" she did, and it's not clear if she did any digging into other similar research projects, or just assumed she must be the first person to ever do a 'study' on this topic. Even a cursory Google search brings up several reputable articles (NIH, etc.) on similar subjects. I also don't think there was enough scientific background given throughout the book, and especially in the first part, to give the research presented and the author's claims overall the kind of weight I expect when reading books written for the layperson that aim to make scientific claims - and there were several instances where I thought that complex subjects were broken down far too simply and definitely would leave a lay reader confused if they tried to go do their own research. Having read many books on scientific subjects that have been written for a lay audience, it's incredibly obvious that the author does not have a scientific background and the book would have greatly benefitted from a ghostwriter or a collaborator to tackle the research/science aspects in defense of the author's claims.
The organization of this book also left a lot to be desired, especially towards the back half of the books. The author jumps around quite a bit, and while she loosely follows her own "awakening" to her realization that she needed to put herself first for her own health, we take a lot of side quests into the various "healing" methods she tried throughout the years to help her symptoms, jumped around her personal timeline, and occasionally went back to the main "research" that is allegedly the prime fixture of the book. I had a hard time staying engaged with the material and had to go back and read several sections because I got very lost on what I was supposed to be taking from each section (if anything). This was further complicated for me personally by the "treatments" the author experienced as part of her healing - the author at some points talks about seeing dozens of doctors, a functional medicine practitioner, and various eastern and western alternative health practitioners, presents all of these treatments as facts/hard science without a lot of background and/pr sources (her sources section is paltry compared to the 20 percent-ish I'm used to in science-based books), and being that she has no healthcare background I am wary of recommending her to other laypersons who might see all the various things she tried and take them as gospel instead of with several grains of salt and the input of a trusted physician. I, of course, have my own biases as a doctor myself, but I found many of the claims made by the author along her healing journey to be worthy of skepticism.
And finally - and this is more petty than anything, and part of my personal opinion as a reader - I think the author sensationalized some of her background and the reactions she had from others for readability, and though we're all the main characters in our own stories, the drama surrounding some of her anecdotes was off-putting for me and made it even harder to try and focus critically regarding the claims she was making. The author has every right to present her story exactly how she remembers/feels is correct, but it did not resonate positively with me as a reader.
Overall, I think there are huge links between stress and autoimmune diseases, particularly in women/AFAB individuals, and especially in eldest daughters, but the way in which Bordo went about discussing and 'researching' this phenomenon did not resonate with me as a physician/scientist, and I won't be recommending this book to my audience as a result. I think there is certainly a way to craft a tale of research/scientific inquiry threaded through with the author's personal biography, but this was not achieved in this specific book.
Bordo also wondered inf her own "Good Girl" tendencies lead to similar poor health outcomes in other women. This question would lead her to fund the first quantitative research at the intersection of female empowerment and autoimmunity, giving weight to the idea that girls in caretaker roles—especially eldest daughters—are disproportionately likely to develop autoimmune conditions later in life. Part research, part memoir, and part exploration, Bordo's work stands as a rousing testament to the missing modality in women’s health—our voices, our needs, and our desires.
I really, really wanted to love this book. I am constantly looking for new books and research at the intersection of health, medicine, race, gender, and class, and how the external factors we take for granted affect health (especially if they're well-researched, medicine-heavy, and are accessible to both scientific and lay readers). I unfortunately found this book lacking in several key factors that would have made it a good and recommendable read for my audience.
I thought the book started off on a great foot, interconnecting the author's lived experiences with the research she advertises as a key component of this book, but after about the first 30% of the book, I feel like the storytelling somewhat went off the rails. There was not enough information on inclusions/exclusions for the "study" she did, and it's not clear if she did any digging into other similar research projects, or just assumed she must be the first person to ever do a 'study' on this topic. Even a cursory Google search brings up several reputable articles (NIH, etc.) on similar subjects. I also don't think there was enough scientific background given throughout the book, and especially in the first part, to give the research presented and the author's claims overall the kind of weight I expect when reading books written for the layperson that aim to make scientific claims - and there were several instances where I thought that complex subjects were broken down far too simply and definitely would leave a lay reader confused if they tried to go do their own research. Having read many books on scientific subjects that have been written for a lay audience, it's incredibly obvious that the author does not have a scientific background and the book would have greatly benefitted from a ghostwriter or a collaborator to tackle the research/science aspects in defense of the author's claims.
The organization of this book also left a lot to be desired, especially towards the back half of the books. The author jumps around quite a bit, and while she loosely follows her own "awakening" to her realization that she needed to put herself first for her own health, we take a lot of side quests into the various "healing" methods she tried throughout the years to help her symptoms, jumped around her personal timeline, and occasionally went back to the main "research" that is allegedly the prime fixture of the book. I had a hard time staying engaged with the material and had to go back and read several sections because I got very lost on what I was supposed to be taking from each section (if anything). This was further complicated for me personally by the "treatments" the author experienced as part of her healing - the author at some points talks about seeing dozens of doctors, a functional medicine practitioner, and various eastern and western alternative health practitioners, presents all of these treatments as facts/hard science without a lot of background and/pr sources (her sources section is paltry compared to the 20 percent-ish I'm used to in science-based books), and being that she has no healthcare background I am wary of recommending her to other laypersons who might see all the various things she tried and take them as gospel instead of with several grains of salt and the input of a trusted physician. I, of course, have my own biases as a doctor myself, but I found many of the claims made by the author along her healing journey to be worthy of skepticism.
And finally - and this is more petty than anything, and part of my personal opinion as a reader - I think the author sensationalized some of her background and the reactions she had from others for readability, and though we're all the main characters in our own stories, the drama surrounding some of her anecdotes was off-putting for me and made it even harder to try and focus critically regarding the claims she was making. The author has every right to present her story exactly how she remembers/feels is correct, but it did not resonate positively with me as a reader.
Overall, I think there are huge links between stress and autoimmune diseases, particularly in women/AFAB individuals, and especially in eldest daughters, but the way in which Bordo went about discussing and 'researching' this phenomenon did not resonate with me as a physician/scientist, and I won't be recommending this book to my audience as a result. I think there is certainly a way to craft a tale of research/scientific inquiry threaded through with the author's personal biography, but this was not achieved in this specific book.
Review of advance copy
Thanks to Libro.FM for the ALC Librarian Picks for May.
I am rating this book 3.25 stars!
As you can see I started and finished this on May 1st, as its a very easy read and to be fair the narrator's speed boosted up to 2x was a perfect setting to listen the whole day. I am also coming in with this viewpoint as someone who is chronically ill with endometriosis and other underlying factors.
There are some really good things from this book, mainly with the idea of the 'good girl narrative'. I think this framing in terms of our health, boundaries, and gender is an extremely important conversation. As someone who's experienced a similar journey with my therapist and the help of IFS therapy, it's helped myself a lot (and perhaps my chronic pain, but I'll hold off on that). This section of the book along with her own narrative and life experiences I think is the strongest part of this book.
Tying in the autoimmune portion... is much weaker. "Self compromised equal immunocomprimised" is an interesting claim... and I agree the first half is extremely harmful, but her work here does not scientifically or with any hardcore research to tie the two together.
To claim to be the first I think is incorrect (maybe when this book was drafted) but lately I've seen a lot of it in the sense that our body and autoimmune and not a lot of studies were talked about here. Doctors and insights are mentioned but also as someone with the audiobook (and an anthropologist student) I CRAVE the citations. So I'd be curious to see the physical data inside the book than listening.
But ultimately just because remapping herself worked for her autoimmune issues (Hashimoto's, mold, adrenal fatigue) doesn't mean that it is backed in research. She's clear and careful not to label anything a cure or a work-for-everyone, but the writing comes across matter of fact when connecting her body and her mental states of 'good girl' and traumatic experiences. Hey, it worked for her which is great, but ultimately I think the steps she takes are really just baby steps into a good and mindful practice way of life, not necessarily a possible break from a chronic issue.
Ultimately I do think there are some good and questionable aspects to this book, and I think a good stepping stone for more research, but doesn't necessarily provide anything substantial to the scientific world other than her lived experience and I think a survey of 1000 people that just talked about their autoimmune issues and their 'good girl' (or eldest daughter syndrome experiences).
It's really missing the connective portion of what good research is, but all I can hope for is that someone who needs to hear the "self compromised" part finds their path and any small or large amount of healing. And also, I hope this introduction to the modern perhaps not chronically ill population, encourages further scientific study of this possible link.
I am rating this book 3.25 stars!
As you can see I started and finished this on May 1st, as its a very easy read and to be fair the narrator's speed boosted up to 2x was a perfect setting to listen the whole day. I am also coming in with this viewpoint as someone who is chronically ill with endometriosis and other underlying factors.
There are some really good things from this book, mainly with the idea of the 'good girl narrative'. I think this framing in terms of our health, boundaries, and gender is an extremely important conversation. As someone who's experienced a similar journey with my therapist and the help of IFS therapy, it's helped myself a lot (and perhaps my chronic pain, but I'll hold off on that). This section of the book along with her own narrative and life experiences I think is the strongest part of this book.
Tying in the autoimmune portion... is much weaker. "Self compromised equal immunocomprimised" is an interesting claim... and I agree the first half is extremely harmful, but her work here does not scientifically or with any hardcore research to tie the two together.
To claim to be the first I think is incorrect (maybe when this book was drafted) but lately I've seen a lot of it in the sense that our body and autoimmune and not a lot of studies were talked about here. Doctors and insights are mentioned but also as someone with the audiobook (and an anthropologist student) I CRAVE the citations. So I'd be curious to see the physical data inside the book than listening.
But ultimately just because remapping herself worked for her autoimmune issues (Hashimoto's, mold, adrenal fatigue) doesn't mean that it is backed in research. She's clear and careful not to label anything a cure or a work-for-everyone, but the writing comes across matter of fact when connecting her body and her mental states of 'good girl' and traumatic experiences. Hey, it worked for her which is great, but ultimately I think the steps she takes are really just baby steps into a good and mindful practice way of life, not necessarily a possible break from a chronic issue.
Ultimately I do think there are some good and questionable aspects to this book, and I think a good stepping stone for more research, but doesn't necessarily provide anything substantial to the scientific world other than her lived experience and I think a survey of 1000 people that just talked about their autoimmune issues and their 'good girl' (or eldest daughter syndrome experiences).
It's really missing the connective portion of what good research is, but all I can hope for is that someone who needs to hear the "self compromised" part finds their path and any small or large amount of healing. And also, I hope this introduction to the modern perhaps not chronically ill population, encourages further scientific study of this possible link.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
There are books you read. And then there are books that read you.
Autoimmunity and the Good Girls is the second kind, the kind that holds up a mirror so precise and unsparing that you find yourself in tears before you've finished the introduction. Not because you are sad, exactly. Because you are finally, undeniably seen.
I do transformational work. I've spent years holding space for women finding themselves beneath layers of roles they didn't choose, and stories handed to them before they were old enough to question them. I thought I understood this terrain. And then Sara Hirsh Bordo walked me back through my own “girlhood”, and I had to sit with the humbling recognition that the guide still has her own ground to walk.
Her central argument is both scientifically grounded and deeply human: that what girls are taught about their worth, lives in how much they give, how little they need, how quietly they endure, doesn't stay in childhood. It gets written into the body. Across more than a thousand women with autoimmune conditions, Sara found the same story: girlhoods shaped by caretaking, self-suppression, and no permission to need anything at all. Her case that this chronic self-abandonment may be biological, not merely psychological, is rigorous and hard to dismiss.
When I read that nearly 70 percent of the women in her study were the oldest or only daughter, I didn't just note it. I felt it land. The exhausting vigilance about others' feelings. The discomfort with being cared for. The way putting myself last had become so habitual I'd confused it with being good. Sara doesn't flatten her argument into self-help formula. She moves between research data, leading trauma and health scholars, Jungian archetypes, ancient goddess mythology, and the voices of women she has spent years listening to. The framework she builds: Permission, Epigenetics, Authenticity, Coherence, is elegant and earned. It maps so closely onto the work I do that I kept stopping to write in the margins. Not in disagreement. In recognition.
The final section, built around what she calls the Seven Gates of a Good-Girl Revolution, is where the book becomes a genuine companion. She doesn't just diagnose; she accompanies. Each gate is treated with the care and specificity of someone who has walked the path herself and watched hundreds of others walk it too.
Reading this reminded me that there is something genuinely sacred about a book that refuses to separate a woman's health from her history, her body from her story, her illness from the long silence that preceded it.
Sara Hirsh Bordo has written the book I wish had existed when I was eleven years old, already asking a question I didn't yet have words for. I am grateful it exists now, for every woman still learning that her needs were never the problem.
Read this. Give it to your daughters. Give it to yourself.
Autoimmunity and the Good Girls is the second kind, the kind that holds up a mirror so precise and unsparing that you find yourself in tears before you've finished the introduction. Not because you are sad, exactly. Because you are finally, undeniably seen.
I do transformational work. I've spent years holding space for women finding themselves beneath layers of roles they didn't choose, and stories handed to them before they were old enough to question them. I thought I understood this terrain. And then Sara Hirsh Bordo walked me back through my own “girlhood”, and I had to sit with the humbling recognition that the guide still has her own ground to walk.
Her central argument is both scientifically grounded and deeply human: that what girls are taught about their worth, lives in how much they give, how little they need, how quietly they endure, doesn't stay in childhood. It gets written into the body. Across more than a thousand women with autoimmune conditions, Sara found the same story: girlhoods shaped by caretaking, self-suppression, and no permission to need anything at all. Her case that this chronic self-abandonment may be biological, not merely psychological, is rigorous and hard to dismiss.
When I read that nearly 70 percent of the women in her study were the oldest or only daughter, I didn't just note it. I felt it land. The exhausting vigilance about others' feelings. The discomfort with being cared for. The way putting myself last had become so habitual I'd confused it with being good. Sara doesn't flatten her argument into self-help formula. She moves between research data, leading trauma and health scholars, Jungian archetypes, ancient goddess mythology, and the voices of women she has spent years listening to. The framework she builds: Permission, Epigenetics, Authenticity, Coherence, is elegant and earned. It maps so closely onto the work I do that I kept stopping to write in the margins. Not in disagreement. In recognition.
The final section, built around what she calls the Seven Gates of a Good-Girl Revolution, is where the book becomes a genuine companion. She doesn't just diagnose; she accompanies. Each gate is treated with the care and specificity of someone who has walked the path herself and watched hundreds of others walk it too.
Reading this reminded me that there is something genuinely sacred about a book that refuses to separate a woman's health from her history, her body from her story, her illness from the long silence that preceded it.
Sara Hirsh Bordo has written the book I wish had existed when I was eleven years old, already asking a question I didn't yet have words for. I am grateful it exists now, for every woman still learning that her needs were never the problem.
Read this. Give it to your daughters. Give it to yourself.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
This is one of those books that feels painfully relevant and deeply validating all at once. It doesn’t just ask what is happening to women’s bodies, but it asks why, and it dares to trace that answer all the way back to girlhood.
There has been a growing conversation about the link between autoimmunity and suppressed emotions, especially anger, and how autoimmune diseases disproportionately affect women. But Sara goes further. She connects the dots between adverse childhood experiences, emotional self-erasure, and the physical cost of being raised to be “good.” Good daughters. Good helpers. Good girls who never take up space, and never, ever ask for what they truly want.
What struck me most was her exploration of the eldest daughter role. As an eldest daughter myself with autoimmune disease, this section felt like she was holding up a mirror. The expectation to caretake, to manage everyone else’s emotions, to never need help ourselves and it’s not just exhausting, it’s embodied. Sara’s research backs this up in a way that feels both sobering and validating, highlighting how women raised in caretaker roles are disproportionately affected by autoimmune illnesses.
She also beautifully unpacks people-pleasing, chronic self-sacrifice, never saying no, and never asking for help and how these patterns quietly accumulate in our bodies over time. This book makes it impossible to ignore the truth so many women already feel in their bones: years of minimizing ourselves and our emotions come at a cost.
What I truly appreciated is that this book isn’t just diagnostic, but that it does feel hopeful even when we ourselves do not. She offers practical tools, reflections, and guidance for how to move forward. She talks about remothering ourselves, reclaiming our voices, honoring our needs, and learning that it is never too late to heal. The message is clear: sovereignty over your life, your body, and your boundaries matters.
Blending memoir, research, expert interviews, and women’s lived experiences, this book really feels like both a reckoning and a permission slip. Permission to say no. Permission to rest. Permission to be real instead of good. Permission to heal and be who we are meant to be.
This is a powerful, compassionate book that so many women will see themselves in and one that may just change how you understand your body, your past, and your path forward.
Thank you to NetGalley, Sara Hirsh Bordo, and HarperOne for the eARC of this book.
There has been a growing conversation about the link between autoimmunity and suppressed emotions, especially anger, and how autoimmune diseases disproportionately affect women. But Sara goes further. She connects the dots between adverse childhood experiences, emotional self-erasure, and the physical cost of being raised to be “good.” Good daughters. Good helpers. Good girls who never take up space, and never, ever ask for what they truly want.
What struck me most was her exploration of the eldest daughter role. As an eldest daughter myself with autoimmune disease, this section felt like she was holding up a mirror. The expectation to caretake, to manage everyone else’s emotions, to never need help ourselves and it’s not just exhausting, it’s embodied. Sara’s research backs this up in a way that feels both sobering and validating, highlighting how women raised in caretaker roles are disproportionately affected by autoimmune illnesses.
She also beautifully unpacks people-pleasing, chronic self-sacrifice, never saying no, and never asking for help and how these patterns quietly accumulate in our bodies over time. This book makes it impossible to ignore the truth so many women already feel in their bones: years of minimizing ourselves and our emotions come at a cost.
What I truly appreciated is that this book isn’t just diagnostic, but that it does feel hopeful even when we ourselves do not. She offers practical tools, reflections, and guidance for how to move forward. She talks about remothering ourselves, reclaiming our voices, honoring our needs, and learning that it is never too late to heal. The message is clear: sovereignty over your life, your body, and your boundaries matters.
Blending memoir, research, expert interviews, and women’s lived experiences, this book really feels like both a reckoning and a permission slip. Permission to say no. Permission to rest. Permission to be real instead of good. Permission to heal and be who we are meant to be.
This is a powerful, compassionate book that so many women will see themselves in and one that may just change how you understand your body, your past, and your path forward.
Thank you to NetGalley, Sara Hirsh Bordo, and HarperOne for the eARC of this book.
Review of advance copy
Autoimmunity and The Good Girls - How Permission to Put Ourselves First Has the Power to Keep Us Well by Sara Hirsh Bordo
Thanks to the ALC program by @librofm I had a superb experience going over so many cases and studies and educating myself about stereotypes and autoimmune diseases. Impressive work!
Blurb:
For generations, women have been told to be “good”—to put others first, to silence their own voices, to neglect their own needs. But a new groundswell of evidence reveals the cost: when our lives are compromised, so are our immune systems.
Raised in a big Texas-Lebanese family as the eldest and only daughter, Sara Hirsh Bordo grew up caring for everyone else’s needs at the expense of her own. Later, as an acclaimed director lifting up other women’s stories, she watched her own body collapse under the weight of autoimmune disease and cancer. Only when she finally reclaimed sovereignty over her own voice, did she heal.
Determined to understand this link, Sara funded the first quantitative research at the intersection of female empowerment and autoimmunity. The results were groundbreaking: women raised in caretaker roles—especially eldest daughters—are disproportionately likely to develop autoimmune diseases such as Hashimoto’s, lupus, multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and more. This study, endorsed by former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Richard Carmona, garnered national media attention and has been shared across 20 countries.
My thoughts 💭
Hisch Bordo’s work is impressive and extremely thorough. If you feel that you need to be educated on this topic, this is certainly the book I’d recommend. It is a great source of information and firs hand knowledge written for us women to understand the importance of our relationship with ourselves.
I am beyond grateful to the author for her commitment to spread awareness about such a crucial aspect in women’s lives: autoimmune diseases and our role in society. With open arms I present this book to all of you out there, go get yours!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 @librofm #sarahirshbordo
#autoimmune #womenautoimmunediseases
Thanks to the ALC program by @librofm I had a superb experience going over so many cases and studies and educating myself about stereotypes and autoimmune diseases. Impressive work!
Blurb:
For generations, women have been told to be “good”—to put others first, to silence their own voices, to neglect their own needs. But a new groundswell of evidence reveals the cost: when our lives are compromised, so are our immune systems.
Raised in a big Texas-Lebanese family as the eldest and only daughter, Sara Hirsh Bordo grew up caring for everyone else’s needs at the expense of her own. Later, as an acclaimed director lifting up other women’s stories, she watched her own body collapse under the weight of autoimmune disease and cancer. Only when she finally reclaimed sovereignty over her own voice, did she heal.
Determined to understand this link, Sara funded the first quantitative research at the intersection of female empowerment and autoimmunity. The results were groundbreaking: women raised in caretaker roles—especially eldest daughters—are disproportionately likely to develop autoimmune diseases such as Hashimoto’s, lupus, multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and more. This study, endorsed by former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Richard Carmona, garnered national media attention and has been shared across 20 countries.
My thoughts 💭
Hisch Bordo’s work is impressive and extremely thorough. If you feel that you need to be educated on this topic, this is certainly the book I’d recommend. It is a great source of information and firs hand knowledge written for us women to understand the importance of our relationship with ourselves.
I am beyond grateful to the author for her commitment to spread awareness about such a crucial aspect in women’s lives: autoimmune diseases and our role in society. With open arms I present this book to all of you out there, go get yours!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 @librofm #sarahirshbordo
#autoimmune #womenautoimmunediseases
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
My first worry I might feel disappointed reading this book was the mention of mold and heavy metal poisoning, then a reference to Dr. Gabor Maté. Then came the references to trauma, and I knew The Body Keeps the Score would haunt this read.
With few references to published, peer-reviewed studies, this book relies on the anecdotal story of a woman experiencing painful trauma who believes her silence, caregiving nature, and society have made her sick.
Do I think society can make you sick? Sure. I believe modern western society isn’t paced for most humans, that our cities, diets, and daily lives are poisoning us with forever chemicals, nanoplastics, and that unrelenting stress can trigger a myriad of health concerns. I believe modern western society is sickening, particularly for women.
But this book isn’t Caroline Criado-Perez’s Invisible Women. It doesn’t point to data, studies, or seek to make a case for women’s systemic dismissal based on historical study. Instead the author relies too heavily on her own worldview and experience. In one passage she recalls a rash on her left leg—“an area linked to feminine energy”—after an unwanted and confusing experience in adolescence at a friend’s house. This retelling unintentionally diminishes the gravity of her experience: the trespass and the deep discomfort of being young and not having the language for what’s happening. Instead, it distills the moment into a woo-y, Body Keeps the Score-style claim about where trauma “lives” in the body. It is easy to believe the body could erupt in shingles after a deeply distressing event where a child doesn’t feel she can safely disclose to and be comforted by her caretakers. I don’t think the left leg is a source or site of feminine energy. That line of reasoning is where I find myself dismissing the author’s premise though it should have been an easy sell.
I want to read stories that explore autoimmune diseases, that explore conditions plaguing women and actually seek answers. But I also want something grounded in more than butterfly analogies.
With few references to published, peer-reviewed studies, this book relies on the anecdotal story of a woman experiencing painful trauma who believes her silence, caregiving nature, and society have made her sick.
Do I think society can make you sick? Sure. I believe modern western society isn’t paced for most humans, that our cities, diets, and daily lives are poisoning us with forever chemicals, nanoplastics, and that unrelenting stress can trigger a myriad of health concerns. I believe modern western society is sickening, particularly for women.
But this book isn’t Caroline Criado-Perez’s Invisible Women. It doesn’t point to data, studies, or seek to make a case for women’s systemic dismissal based on historical study. Instead the author relies too heavily on her own worldview and experience. In one passage she recalls a rash on her left leg—“an area linked to feminine energy”—after an unwanted and confusing experience in adolescence at a friend’s house. This retelling unintentionally diminishes the gravity of her experience: the trespass and the deep discomfort of being young and not having the language for what’s happening. Instead, it distills the moment into a woo-y, Body Keeps the Score-style claim about where trauma “lives” in the body. It is easy to believe the body could erupt in shingles after a deeply distressing event where a child doesn’t feel she can safely disclose to and be comforted by her caretakers. I don’t think the left leg is a source or site of feminine energy. That line of reasoning is where I find myself dismissing the author’s premise though it should have been an easy sell.
I want to read stories that explore autoimmune diseases, that explore conditions plaguing women and actually seek answers. But I also want something grounded in more than butterfly analogies.
Review of advance copy received from Author
As a woman living with a tricky, interconnected web of chronic illnesses, including an autoimmune disease, I've spent years figuring out how to best manage my health. That path can be a lonely and frustrating one. Doctors don't always listen well or take our stories seriously when complex symptoms are impacting our daily life-women still get labeled as 'difficult' patients instead of being approached with compassion and curiosity. Over the years, I've expanded my definition of what 'healthy' means to me to include my emotional and spiritual wellbeing, and a crucial part of that process has been finding empathetic voices that look at women's lived experience with disease from a social and epigenetic lens. That is exactly what Sara delivers with this groundbreaking book. She writes with a level of empathy that is rare to find in discussions about women's health, and the study her book is based on spoke to me personally. I, like the other women mentioned in her writing, am an eldest daughter living with autoimmune disease, and her unique perspective on the pressures faced by that demographic was not only a lightbulb moment for me, but an invitation to think about my wellbeing in a way that puts me more in the driver's seat of my life. She has inspired me to use my voice, create better boundaries with family and friends, and consider the ways I have prioritized other's wants over my very real needs in the past and to start advocating for them now. In a world where autoimmunity can feel like a mystery with few satisfying answers, this book delivers tangible hope and a fresh perspective that has changed my life, and could change yours, too.
May 25, 2026
This one came along at the exact right time!
While I don’t relate to or agree with everything in this book (for instance; I am not an eldest daughter, yet have struggled with ulcerative colitis since age 14; I don’t relate to the the psychic or Seven Gates Sun directions), there was so much for me to take away from this book and the information within it.
As a “good girl” who has spent her life trying to do the right things and to caretake and mother and support others, I have a tendency to accept and prolong symptoms too long, shove down my own worries when others need help, and put up with daily struggles that I’ve had to learn to deal with when it comes to my autoimmune disease.
This year has knocked me back and, along with this book, I am again reminded that I must prioritize my health and the management of my disease and take all aspects of my results, treatment options, and potential surgeries into my own hands.
Thank you to the author, Sara, for her diligent research and opinions on this topic that hits me right in the chest.
Some meaningful quotes from this book:
“Self-silencing is making us sick, over-giving is keeping us that way, and abandoning our own wants and needs for a lifetime can create an immune system in identity crisis.”
“START now. SAY no. CHOOSE differently. ASK YOURSELF more. BE vocal. CHALLENGE the doctors’ orders if they aren’t listening. KEEP asking questions if they don’t have the answers you need or if the answers they do give just don’t feel right.”
Thank you to @netgalley and @harperonebooks for this inspirational ARC! Catch it one June 2nd!
While I don’t relate to or agree with everything in this book (for instance; I am not an eldest daughter, yet have struggled with ulcerative colitis since age 14; I don’t relate to the the psychic or Seven Gates Sun directions), there was so much for me to take away from this book and the information within it.
As a “good girl” who has spent her life trying to do the right things and to caretake and mother and support others, I have a tendency to accept and prolong symptoms too long, shove down my own worries when others need help, and put up with daily struggles that I’ve had to learn to deal with when it comes to my autoimmune disease.
This year has knocked me back and, along with this book, I am again reminded that I must prioritize my health and the management of my disease and take all aspects of my results, treatment options, and potential surgeries into my own hands.
Thank you to the author, Sara, for her diligent research and opinions on this topic that hits me right in the chest.
Some meaningful quotes from this book:
“Self-silencing is making us sick, over-giving is keeping us that way, and abandoning our own wants and needs for a lifetime can create an immune system in identity crisis.”
“START now. SAY no. CHOOSE differently. ASK YOURSELF more. BE vocal. CHALLENGE the doctors’ orders if they aren’t listening. KEEP asking questions if they don’t have the answers you need or if the answers they do give just don’t feel right.”
Thank you to @netgalley and @harperonebooks for this inspirational ARC! Catch it one June 2nd!
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
This book is a powerful read for women interested in exploring the deeper connections between women’s health, societal roles, and autoimmunity. Through thoughtful reflection and independent research, Bordo weaves together her personal journey with broader questions about how women’s lived experiences intersect with chronic illness and well-being.
Driven by curiosity and a desire to better understand her own health, Bordo shares an honest and compelling narrative that highlights the relationship between female empowerment, identity, and autoimmune conditions. Her willingness to investigate beyond conventional explanations creates space for readers to reflect on their own experiences and consider new perspectives on wellness.
Bordo’s work serves as an invitation to begin important conversations around women’s health. By exploring the intersection of personal narrative and emerging ideas about mind, body, and societal influence, the book shines a light on areas that are often overlooked in traditional research. It encourages greater awareness, curiosity, and dialogue making it both an inspiring and thought-provoking contribution to the conversation around women’s health.
Driven by curiosity and a desire to better understand her own health, Bordo shares an honest and compelling narrative that highlights the relationship between female empowerment, identity, and autoimmune conditions. Her willingness to investigate beyond conventional explanations creates space for readers to reflect on their own experiences and consider new perspectives on wellness.
Bordo’s work serves as an invitation to begin important conversations around women’s health. By exploring the intersection of personal narrative and emerging ideas about mind, body, and societal influence, the book shines a light on areas that are often overlooked in traditional research. It encourages greater awareness, curiosity, and dialogue making it both an inspiring and thought-provoking contribution to the conversation around women’s health.
Review of advance copy received from Author
It was a privilege to read every beautifully crafted word that pulled me through. There were tears, some laughter, a steady flow of emotions that were lit by Sara Hirsch Bordo's breathtaking narrative, by the science, and by the gentle guidance.
The reading was dizzying .... seeing/feeling my own damaged wings, a reader's flow continuously interrupted by surfacing memories marking my own (dis)empowerment while keeping pace with her courageous journey. Sara's book is not one to be picked up, read through, and shelved. It is a guardrail to hold firmly. One that will be read, reread, and referenced until it is worn.
The experience of reading this book has opened me and has allowed energy and emotion to breathe inside me instead of being held down with superhuman force and now is the time to act on my own empowerment journey. Reading Sara's book has allowed me to not only begin to understand myself better, but to articulate the work to be done and know how to begin.
This book resonates so powerfully because it speaks to a societal undercurrent that needs a voice and Sara has provided this.
The reading was dizzying .... seeing/feeling my own damaged wings, a reader's flow continuously interrupted by surfacing memories marking my own (dis)empowerment while keeping pace with her courageous journey. Sara's book is not one to be picked up, read through, and shelved. It is a guardrail to hold firmly. One that will be read, reread, and referenced until it is worn.
The experience of reading this book has opened me and has allowed energy and emotion to breathe inside me instead of being held down with superhuman force and now is the time to act on my own empowerment journey. Reading Sara's book has allowed me to not only begin to understand myself better, but to articulate the work to be done and know how to begin.
This book resonates so powerfully because it speaks to a societal undercurrent that needs a voice and Sara has provided this.
Review of advance copy
As a physician, I am impressed how skillfully Sara draws an essential connection between identity and immunity. This correlation may not have been proven in a cell biology lab, but the paradigm Sara presents the reader is actually more useful than a medical formula—a brilliant theoretical framework that makes visible what medicine keeps missing: that the way women are raised to silence and abandon themselves may be inseparable from the way they get sick.
Most physicians do not know the extensive range of Autoimmune diseases! This book introduces the full panoply of these challenging conditions, along with a healthy dose of optimism for preventing—and even reversing—the diseases. The substance, the insights, and the structure of this book genuinely wowed me.
What Sara has built here is a sensitive textbook for an optimized life, one that crescendos toward its final message: Prove to the little girl inside of you that you are finally listening. Read it.
Most physicians do not know the extensive range of Autoimmune diseases! This book introduces the full panoply of these challenging conditions, along with a healthy dose of optimism for preventing—and even reversing—the diseases. The substance, the insights, and the structure of this book genuinely wowed me.
What Sara has built here is a sensitive textbook for an optimized life, one that crescendos toward its final message: Prove to the little girl inside of you that you are finally listening. Read it.
Review of advance copy received from Author
As a father of two girls, I was anxious to dive into this topic. Reading about Sara’s journey—and the journeys of many other women from her research—was a real eye-opener. These are themes yet to be discussed in my own circles, but they feel incredibly important. It made me think about my role as a father: how can I empower my daughters to be good to themselves and not just to others?
We’re in the era of the “girl dad,” and I’m so proud of that. But supporting my girls means more than the encouragement I was already giving—it means raising girls who know they have the right to speak up, take up space, and even disappoint others. That was a big takeaway for me.
Sara’s own personal story is raw, gives the emotional weight needed, and her transformation is inspiring. This book gives real hope to women living with autoimmune disease and shows that healing can come for others too.
Sara’s background as a documentary filmmaker really shines through in the way she weaves together research, interviews, and her personal journey. I felt captured and compelled by her story! Ultimately, this book was a wake-up call that left me hopeful and engaged.
We’re in the era of the “girl dad,” and I’m so proud of that. But supporting my girls means more than the encouragement I was already giving—it means raising girls who know they have the right to speak up, take up space, and even disappoint others. That was a big takeaway for me.
Sara’s own personal story is raw, gives the emotional weight needed, and her transformation is inspiring. This book gives real hope to women living with autoimmune disease and shows that healing can come for others too.
Sara’s background as a documentary filmmaker really shines through in the way she weaves together research, interviews, and her personal journey. I felt captured and compelled by her story! Ultimately, this book was a wake-up call that left me hopeful and engaged.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I enjoyed the author’s reflections and found parts of them relatable, especially as the eldest daughter of immigrant parents. The themes around being the “good girl” and constantly putting others first definitely resonated with me.
I was hoping for more depth on the research side. The book makes some bold claims about the link between behavior and autoimmune diseases, but it lacks substantial scientific support and does not clearly cite research to back them up.
Overall, I think it’s a meaningful and relatable read from a personal perspective, but it fell a little short for me in terms of substance.
Thanks to NetGalley and HarperCollins Publishers for the arc! All opinions are my own.
I was hoping for more depth on the research side. The book makes some bold claims about the link between behavior and autoimmune diseases, but it lacks substantial scientific support and does not clearly cite research to back them up.
Overall, I think it’s a meaningful and relatable read from a personal perspective, but it fell a little short for me in terms of substance.
Thanks to NetGalley and HarperCollins Publishers for the arc! All opinions are my own.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
An easy fulfilling read. A thought provoking and accessible book on really becoming an advocate for one’s well being in today’s world. Learning Sara’s journey combined with all the research and science that went into this book made it stand out from other books on wellness. And last but not least, if you have ever faced poor health, get ready to feel seen and to have new tools and resource.
I really loved this book and will be gifting it all my female friends and colleagues for birthdays and just because it’s about the #1 most important thing in life: our health.
I really loved this book and will be gifting it all my female friends and colleagues for birthdays and just because it’s about the #1 most important thing in life: our health.
June 3, 2026
3⭐️
I knew from the cover and description that this is the sort of book that would be an instant 5 stars for me. Unfortunately, this did not happen. The core argument, whilst I can relate to it in some senses, is a major simplification of what’s going on, and also shifts the blame for chronic illness on women’s bodies, not the healthcare system and its failure to understand women’s health. I also found it bizarre how a book on chronic illness did not make any mention of disability, as the crossover between these two categories (and the shared experience of ableism) is very high.
I knew from the cover and description that this is the sort of book that would be an instant 5 stars for me. Unfortunately, this did not happen. The core argument, whilst I can relate to it in some senses, is a major simplification of what’s going on, and also shifts the blame for chronic illness on women’s bodies, not the healthcare system and its failure to understand women’s health. I also found it bizarre how a book on chronic illness did not make any mention of disability, as the crossover between these two categories (and the shared experience of ableism) is very high.
Review of advance copy received from Author
This book felt like a mirror for so many women who have spent years being “good,” productive, and selfless while quietly abandoning themselves in the process. It’s a powerful reminder not to shame ourselves for getting burned out. In such a thoughtful and compassionate way, it asks us to look at the deeper cost of constantly putting ourselves last.
I really enjoyed this one. Sara has such a powerful voice.
— Giovanna Silvestre, author of Confused Girl: Find Your Peace in the Chaos
I really enjoyed this one. Sara has such a powerful voice.
— Giovanna Silvestre, author of Confused Girl: Find Your Peace in the Chaos
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews