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Autoimmunity and the Good Girls: How Permission to Put Ourselves First Has the Power to Keep Us Well
Not yet published
Expected 2 Jun 26“Sara’s an architect of change.”—Maria Shriver
The inspirational, deeply researched wellness journey by the award-winning filmmaker, activist, and founder of Women Rising, shining a light on how too many girls are trained to self-silence and serve others—and how we can heal.
When Sara Hirsh Bordo was growing up in a big Texas-Lebanese family, as the eldest daughter, she was expected to take care of everyone else around her at the expense of her own needs and worth. But the more she gave of herself, the more ill she became with everything from autoimmune disease to cancer. As an award-winning filmmaker, she spent decades empowering other women and telling their stories, all the while watching her own health decline. She soon came to realize that only when she was sovereign in her own voice did she grow stronger and healthier.
When she funded the first quantitative research at the intersection of female empowerment and autoimmunity, she found overwhelming confirmation of her theory that girls in caretaker roles—especially eldest daughters—are disproportionately likely to develop autoimmune conditions later in life, whether that's Hashimoto's thyroiditis, endometriosis, Crohn's disease, type-1 diabetes, chronic fatigue syndrome, irritable bowel syndrome, fibromyalgia, or others. This groundbreaking study was endorsed by former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Richard Carmona and received national media attention.
In this audiobook, you will learn from her insights,
inner child work, including how to remother and reparent yourself how to unlearn your primary role as a caregiver impacts of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) on autoimmunity and poor health shocking facts from her research, such as the fact that more than 6 in 10 women with autoimmune diseases were raised as either the oldest or only daughter in their families moving personal narratives from the women surveyed—and how they have healed Incorporating proprietary, evidence-based research, practical resources, exclusive expert interviews, and inspiring stories, Autoimmunity and the Good Girls is a rousing testament to the missing modality in women’s health—our voices, our needs, and our desires.
The inspirational, deeply researched wellness journey by the award-winning filmmaker, activist, and founder of Women Rising, shining a light on how too many girls are trained to self-silence and serve others—and how we can heal.
When Sara Hirsh Bordo was growing up in a big Texas-Lebanese family, as the eldest daughter, she was expected to take care of everyone else around her at the expense of her own needs and worth. But the more she gave of herself, the more ill she became with everything from autoimmune disease to cancer. As an award-winning filmmaker, she spent decades empowering other women and telling their stories, all the while watching her own health decline. She soon came to realize that only when she was sovereign in her own voice did she grow stronger and healthier.
When she funded the first quantitative research at the intersection of female empowerment and autoimmunity, she found overwhelming confirmation of her theory that girls in caretaker roles—especially eldest daughters—are disproportionately likely to develop autoimmune conditions later in life, whether that's Hashimoto's thyroiditis, endometriosis, Crohn's disease, type-1 diabetes, chronic fatigue syndrome, irritable bowel syndrome, fibromyalgia, or others. This groundbreaking study was endorsed by former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Richard Carmona and received national media attention.
In this audiobook, you will learn from her insights,
inner child work, including how to remother and reparent yourself how to unlearn your primary role as a caregiver impacts of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) on autoimmunity and poor health shocking facts from her research, such as the fact that more than 6 in 10 women with autoimmune diseases were raised as either the oldest or only daughter in their families moving personal narratives from the women surveyed—and how they have healed Incorporating proprietary, evidence-based research, practical resources, exclusive expert interviews, and inspiring stories, Autoimmunity and the Good Girls is a rousing testament to the missing modality in women’s health—our voices, our needs, and our desires.
304 pages, Hardcover
Expected publication June 2, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Growing up in a big Texas-Lebanese family, Sara Hirsh Bordo quickly learned that being the eldest daughter meant taking care of everyone else - before, and often at the expense of herself. Like the Giving Tree, the more she gave away of herself, the more she suffered, facing a slew of diseases covering the spectrum of poor immunity to cancer as she grew up and kept her "Good Girl" habits. Watching her own health decline - even when she used her voice as an award-winning filmmaker to uplift the voices of other women - led her to the realization that only when she was sovereign in her own voice did she grow stronger and healthier.
Bordo also wondered inf her own "Good Girl" tendencies lead to similar poor health outcomes in other women. This question would lead her to fund the first quantitative research at the intersection of female empowerment and autoimmunity, giving weight to the idea that girls in caretaker roles—especially eldest daughters—are disproportionately likely to develop autoimmune conditions later in life. Part research, part memoir, and part exploration, Bordo's work stands as a rousing testament to the missing modality in women’s health—our voices, our needs, and our desires.
I really, really wanted to love this book. I am constantly looking for new books and research at the intersection of health, medicine, race, gender, and class, and how the external factors we take for granted affect health (especially if they're well-researched, medicine-heavy, and are accessible to both scientific and lay readers). I unfortunately found this book lacking in several key factors that would have made it a good and recommendable read for my audience.
I thought the book started off on a great foot, interconnecting the author's lived experiences with the research she advertises as a key component of this book, but after about the first 30% of the book, I feel like the storytelling somewhat went off the rails. There was not enough information on inclusions/exclusions for the "study" she did, and it's not clear if she did any digging into other similar research projects, or just assumed she must be the first person to ever do a 'study' on this topic. Even a cursory Google search brings up several reputable articles (NIH, etc.) on similar subjects. I also don't think there was enough scientific background given throughout the book, and especially in the first part, to give the research presented and the author's claims overall the kind of weight I expect when reading books written for the layperson that aim to make scientific claims - and there were several instances where I thought that complex subjects were broken down far too simply and definitely would leave a lay reader confused if they tried to go do their own research. Having read many books on scientific subjects that have been written for a lay audience, it's incredibly obvious that the author does not have a scientific background and the book would have greatly benefitted from a ghostwriter or a collaborator to tackle the research/science aspects in defense of the author's claims.
The organization of this book also left a lot to be desired, especially towards the back half of the books. The author jumps around quite a bit, and while she loosely follows her own "awakening" to her realization that she needed to put herself first for her own health, we take a lot of side quests into the various "healing" methods she tried throughout the years to help her symptoms, jumped around her personal timeline, and occasionally went back to the main "research" that is allegedly the prime fixture of the book. I had a hard time staying engaged with the material and had to go back and read several sections because I got very lost on what I was supposed to be taking from each section (if anything). This was further complicated for me personally by the "treatments" the author experienced as part of her healing - the author at some points talks about seeing dozens of doctors, a functional medicine practitioner, and various eastern and western alternative health practitioners, presents all of these treatments as facts/hard science without a lot of background and/pr sources (her sources section is paltry compared to the 20 percent-ish I'm used to in science-based books), and being that she has no healthcare background I am wary of recommending her to other laypersons who might see all the various things she tried and take them as gospel instead of with several grains of salt and the input of a trusted physician. I, of course, have my own biases as a doctor myself, but I found many of the claims made by the author along her healing journey to be worthy of skepticism.
And finally - and this is more petty than anything, and part of my personal opinion as a reader - I think the author sensationalized some of her background and the reactions she had from others for readability, and though we're all the main characters in our own stories, the drama surrounding some of her anecdotes was off-putting for me and made it even harder to try and focus critically regarding the claims she was making. The author has every right to present her story exactly how she remembers/feels is correct, but it did not resonate positively with me as a reader.
Overall, I think there are huge links between stress and autoimmune diseases, particularly in women/AFAB individuals, and especially in eldest daughters, but the way in which Bordo went about discussing and 'researching' this phenomenon did not resonate with me as a physician/scientist, and I won't be recommending this book to my audience as a result. I think there is certainly a way to craft a tale of research/scientific inquiry threaded through with the author's personal biography, but this was not achieved in this specific book.
Bordo also wondered inf her own "Good Girl" tendencies lead to similar poor health outcomes in other women. This question would lead her to fund the first quantitative research at the intersection of female empowerment and autoimmunity, giving weight to the idea that girls in caretaker roles—especially eldest daughters—are disproportionately likely to develop autoimmune conditions later in life. Part research, part memoir, and part exploration, Bordo's work stands as a rousing testament to the missing modality in women’s health—our voices, our needs, and our desires.
I really, really wanted to love this book. I am constantly looking for new books and research at the intersection of health, medicine, race, gender, and class, and how the external factors we take for granted affect health (especially if they're well-researched, medicine-heavy, and are accessible to both scientific and lay readers). I unfortunately found this book lacking in several key factors that would have made it a good and recommendable read for my audience.
I thought the book started off on a great foot, interconnecting the author's lived experiences with the research she advertises as a key component of this book, but after about the first 30% of the book, I feel like the storytelling somewhat went off the rails. There was not enough information on inclusions/exclusions for the "study" she did, and it's not clear if she did any digging into other similar research projects, or just assumed she must be the first person to ever do a 'study' on this topic. Even a cursory Google search brings up several reputable articles (NIH, etc.) on similar subjects. I also don't think there was enough scientific background given throughout the book, and especially in the first part, to give the research presented and the author's claims overall the kind of weight I expect when reading books written for the layperson that aim to make scientific claims - and there were several instances where I thought that complex subjects were broken down far too simply and definitely would leave a lay reader confused if they tried to go do their own research. Having read many books on scientific subjects that have been written for a lay audience, it's incredibly obvious that the author does not have a scientific background and the book would have greatly benefitted from a ghostwriter or a collaborator to tackle the research/science aspects in defense of the author's claims.
The organization of this book also left a lot to be desired, especially towards the back half of the books. The author jumps around quite a bit, and while she loosely follows her own "awakening" to her realization that she needed to put herself first for her own health, we take a lot of side quests into the various "healing" methods she tried throughout the years to help her symptoms, jumped around her personal timeline, and occasionally went back to the main "research" that is allegedly the prime fixture of the book. I had a hard time staying engaged with the material and had to go back and read several sections because I got very lost on what I was supposed to be taking from each section (if anything). This was further complicated for me personally by the "treatments" the author experienced as part of her healing - the author at some points talks about seeing dozens of doctors, a functional medicine practitioner, and various eastern and western alternative health practitioners, presents all of these treatments as facts/hard science without a lot of background and/pr sources (her sources section is paltry compared to the 20 percent-ish I'm used to in science-based books), and being that she has no healthcare background I am wary of recommending her to other laypersons who might see all the various things she tried and take them as gospel instead of with several grains of salt and the input of a trusted physician. I, of course, have my own biases as a doctor myself, but I found many of the claims made by the author along her healing journey to be worthy of skepticism.
And finally - and this is more petty than anything, and part of my personal opinion as a reader - I think the author sensationalized some of her background and the reactions she had from others for readability, and though we're all the main characters in our own stories, the drama surrounding some of her anecdotes was off-putting for me and made it even harder to try and focus critically regarding the claims she was making. The author has every right to present her story exactly how she remembers/feels is correct, but it did not resonate positively with me as a reader.
Overall, I think there are huge links between stress and autoimmune diseases, particularly in women/AFAB individuals, and especially in eldest daughters, but the way in which Bordo went about discussing and 'researching' this phenomenon did not resonate with me as a physician/scientist, and I won't be recommending this book to my audience as a result. I think there is certainly a way to craft a tale of research/scientific inquiry threaded through with the author's personal biography, but this was not achieved in this specific book.
February 7, 2026
I think I found this book at the right time. Had I found it years ago, I don’t think it would have made sense yet. I’m going to explain some personal history.
When I was in my twenties, I had a non cancerous bone tumor. I had another a few years later. I’ve dealt with a lot of chronic pain for over twenty years now. If someone had tried to explain the concept of this book to me then, I think I’d have thought they believed my pain could be wished a way with a positive attitude and I wouldn’t have been receptive to figuring out what the book actually meant.
Now, I’m also dealing with fibromyalgia.
Fibromyalgia is an autoimmune disease and dealing with an autoimmune disease isn’t the same as dealing with my other chronic pain.
I’d was in a cycle of stress and flares that felt impossible to break out of.
I had to add an anxiety medication to my other list of medications and also started seeing a pain counselor. This type of counselor advises on ways to better handle your illness and pain because the stress from the illness and pain actually makes it worse.
One of the first things we talked about was a stressful situation I’d been dealing with lately…guess what, it had to deal with standing up for myself when doing that wasn’t viewed as being “good”. I told her about how hard it was but that I felt like I had to stand up for myself if I wanted to protect my health.
And she said one of the first things she’d been planning to discuss with me was something she referred to as “Aggressive communication”. Sounds scary, right? It’s actually about saying “no” when it’s the right decision for our health. I told her that I’d spent half my life aware of my physical limitations but had only recently become aware of my emotional limitations. I’d never stuck up for what was right for myself emotionally because I’d been expected to be a peacemaker and to be good and to defer to what made someone else happy.
But when it came down to my health being a motivator? Then I had to stand up for my emotional health. It was more important to be healthy than to be thought of as being good.
This book acknowledged that and how we get in that position and how hard it can be to break a cycle like that.
This book isn’t saying there’s a problem with being an empath or a caregiver (thank Goodness or I’d need to become a new person lol). It’s saying that we can be only a care giver to others, we have to care for our own health and emotions too.
The book also discussed several other things my pain counselor has recommended too.
I got to read an early ebook edition from NetGalley and also recommended this book to a few friends who have pre-ordered the physical copy.
When I was in my twenties, I had a non cancerous bone tumor. I had another a few years later. I’ve dealt with a lot of chronic pain for over twenty years now. If someone had tried to explain the concept of this book to me then, I think I’d have thought they believed my pain could be wished a way with a positive attitude and I wouldn’t have been receptive to figuring out what the book actually meant.
Now, I’m also dealing with fibromyalgia.
Fibromyalgia is an autoimmune disease and dealing with an autoimmune disease isn’t the same as dealing with my other chronic pain.
I’d was in a cycle of stress and flares that felt impossible to break out of.
I had to add an anxiety medication to my other list of medications and also started seeing a pain counselor. This type of counselor advises on ways to better handle your illness and pain because the stress from the illness and pain actually makes it worse.
One of the first things we talked about was a stressful situation I’d been dealing with lately…guess what, it had to deal with standing up for myself when doing that wasn’t viewed as being “good”. I told her about how hard it was but that I felt like I had to stand up for myself if I wanted to protect my health.
And she said one of the first things she’d been planning to discuss with me was something she referred to as “Aggressive communication”. Sounds scary, right? It’s actually about saying “no” when it’s the right decision for our health. I told her that I’d spent half my life aware of my physical limitations but had only recently become aware of my emotional limitations. I’d never stuck up for what was right for myself emotionally because I’d been expected to be a peacemaker and to be good and to defer to what made someone else happy.
But when it came down to my health being a motivator? Then I had to stand up for my emotional health. It was more important to be healthy than to be thought of as being good.
This book acknowledged that and how we get in that position and how hard it can be to break a cycle like that.
This book isn’t saying there’s a problem with being an empath or a caregiver (thank Goodness or I’d need to become a new person lol). It’s saying that we can be only a care giver to others, we have to care for our own health and emotions too.
The book also discussed several other things my pain counselor has recommended too.
I got to read an early ebook edition from NetGalley and also recommended this book to a few friends who have pre-ordered the physical copy.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
This is one of those books that feels painfully relevant and deeply validating all at once. It doesn’t just ask what is happening to women’s bodies, but it asks why, and it dares to trace that answer all the way back to girlhood.
There has been a growing conversation about the link between autoimmunity and suppressed emotions, especially anger, and how autoimmune diseases disproportionately affect women. But Sara goes further. She connects the dots between adverse childhood experiences, emotional self-erasure, and the physical cost of being raised to be “good.” Good daughters. Good helpers. Good girls who never take up space, and never, ever ask for what they truly want.
What struck me most was her exploration of the eldest daughter role. As an eldest daughter myself with autoimmune disease, this section felt like she was holding up a mirror. The expectation to caretake, to manage everyone else’s emotions, to never need help ourselves and it’s not just exhausting, it’s embodied. Sara’s research backs this up in a way that feels both sobering and validating, highlighting how women raised in caretaker roles are disproportionately affected by autoimmune illnesses.
She also beautifully unpacks people-pleasing, chronic self-sacrifice, never saying no, and never asking for help and how these patterns quietly accumulate in our bodies over time. This book makes it impossible to ignore the truth so many women already feel in their bones: years of minimizing ourselves and our emotions come at a cost.
What I truly appreciated is that this book isn’t just diagnostic, but that it does feel hopeful even when we ourselves do not. She offers practical tools, reflections, and guidance for how to move forward. She talks about remothering ourselves, reclaiming our voices, honoring our needs, and learning that it is never too late to heal. The message is clear: sovereignty over your life, your body, and your boundaries matters.
Blending memoir, research, expert interviews, and women’s lived experiences, this book really feels like both a reckoning and a permission slip. Permission to say no. Permission to rest. Permission to be real instead of good. Permission to heal and be who we are meant to be.
This is a powerful, compassionate book that so many women will see themselves in and one that may just change how you understand your body, your past, and your path forward.
Thank you to NetGalley, Sara Hirsh Bordo, and HarperOne for the eARC of this book.
There has been a growing conversation about the link between autoimmunity and suppressed emotions, especially anger, and how autoimmune diseases disproportionately affect women. But Sara goes further. She connects the dots between adverse childhood experiences, emotional self-erasure, and the physical cost of being raised to be “good.” Good daughters. Good helpers. Good girls who never take up space, and never, ever ask for what they truly want.
What struck me most was her exploration of the eldest daughter role. As an eldest daughter myself with autoimmune disease, this section felt like she was holding up a mirror. The expectation to caretake, to manage everyone else’s emotions, to never need help ourselves and it’s not just exhausting, it’s embodied. Sara’s research backs this up in a way that feels both sobering and validating, highlighting how women raised in caretaker roles are disproportionately affected by autoimmune illnesses.
She also beautifully unpacks people-pleasing, chronic self-sacrifice, never saying no, and never asking for help and how these patterns quietly accumulate in our bodies over time. This book makes it impossible to ignore the truth so many women already feel in their bones: years of minimizing ourselves and our emotions come at a cost.
What I truly appreciated is that this book isn’t just diagnostic, but that it does feel hopeful even when we ourselves do not. She offers practical tools, reflections, and guidance for how to move forward. She talks about remothering ourselves, reclaiming our voices, honoring our needs, and learning that it is never too late to heal. The message is clear: sovereignty over your life, your body, and your boundaries matters.
Blending memoir, research, expert interviews, and women’s lived experiences, this book really feels like both a reckoning and a permission slip. Permission to say no. Permission to rest. Permission to be real instead of good. Permission to heal and be who we are meant to be.
This is a powerful, compassionate book that so many women will see themselves in and one that may just change how you understand your body, your past, and your path forward.
Thank you to NetGalley, Sara Hirsh Bordo, and HarperOne for the eARC of this book.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews