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Dear Future Boyfriend
"Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz is a dizzying dervish of a poet, an astounding talent, a deft lyricist whose patented take on this dopey world is dazzling in its originality..." Patricia Smith, Author of Teahouse of the Almighty In her celebrated debut volume, Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz tackles love ("Science"), heartbreak ("Lit") and thieving suburban punks ("Ode to the Person Who Stole My Family's Lawn Gnome"), among other topics. Quirky and humorous, with a subtext of social commentary, Aptowicz's writing is for people who think they hate poetry -- and for those who love it. This expanded version includes over two dozen previously unpublished works along side her old standards, including "Mother" and the Pushcart Prize-nominated "Hard Bargain."
- GenresPoetry
Paperback
First published July 1, 2011
11 people are currently reading
375 people want to read
About the author
Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz
20 books118 followersCristin O’Keefe Aptowicz is an American poet who was recently awarded a 2011 National Endowment for the Arts Fellowship in Poetry.
She is the author of five books of poetry, including the recently released Everything is Everthing (Write Bloody Publishing), as well as the canonical slam history, Words in Your Face (Soft Skull Press), which U.S. Poet Laureate Billy Collins wrote “leaves no doubt that the slam poetry scene has achieved legitimacy and taken its rightful place on the map of contemporary literature.”
Founder of the three-time National Poetry Slam Championship venue, NYC-Urbana, Cristin has toured widely with her poetry, at venues as diverse as NYC’s Joe’s Pub, LA’s Largo Theatre and Australia’s Sydney Opera House. Cristin’s poetry books are published on Write Bloody Press, and available at all online & brick-and-order bookstores.
Her poetry has appeared (or is forthcoming) in McSweeney’s Internet Tendencies, Rattle, Pank, Barrelhouse, MonkeyBicycle, decomP, Conduit and La Petite Zine (among others), as well as in anthologies such as Poetry Slam: The Competitive Art of Spoken Word, Learn Then Burn: Modern Poetry For the Classroom, Bowery Women and Word Warriors: 35 Women Leaders in the Spoken Word Revolution (among others).
She is the author of five books of poetry, including the recently released Everything is Everthing (Write Bloody Publishing), as well as the canonical slam history, Words in Your Face (Soft Skull Press), which U.S. Poet Laureate Billy Collins wrote “leaves no doubt that the slam poetry scene has achieved legitimacy and taken its rightful place on the map of contemporary literature.”
Founder of the three-time National Poetry Slam Championship venue, NYC-Urbana, Cristin has toured widely with her poetry, at venues as diverse as NYC’s Joe’s Pub, LA’s Largo Theatre and Australia’s Sydney Opera House. Cristin’s poetry books are published on Write Bloody Press, and available at all online & brick-and-order bookstores.
Her poetry has appeared (or is forthcoming) in McSweeney’s Internet Tendencies, Rattle, Pank, Barrelhouse, MonkeyBicycle, decomP, Conduit and La Petite Zine (among others), as well as in anthologies such as Poetry Slam: The Competitive Art of Spoken Word, Learn Then Burn: Modern Poetry For the Classroom, Bowery Women and Word Warriors: 35 Women Leaders in the Spoken Word Revolution (among others).
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
February 20, 2012
One day I will find myself talking in quotes from Dear Future Boyfriend, and only quotes. Crisitin found infinitely acute ways to describe exes, presents and futures of love. Her humor and intelligence bubble up throughout the entire book.
April 21, 2021
This collection didn’t really speak to me. It reminded me of some of the sorts of things I’d find in a college writing workshop, which weren’t ever my favorite style. I’m picky with poetry though, so take my review with a grain of salt.
December 15, 2019
First read for me by this poet & wont be my last. Happy I discovered her on a morning where I woke up at 5 am & couldn’t go back to sleep. Isn’t this the best time to find a poetry collection to get lost into..
Here’s a piece of one of my faves*
America is the most beautiful
when seen from the highway at 3am.
There is a gentleness shared among
the drivers at night.
There is no ego on a highway at 3am.
Only concepts of destination
Excerpt from: "Dear Future Boyfriend" by Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz. Scribd.
This material may be protected by copyright.
Read this book on Scribd: https://www.scribd.com/book/257695077
Here’s a piece of one of my faves*
America is the most beautiful
when seen from the highway at 3am.
There is a gentleness shared among
the drivers at night.
There is no ego on a highway at 3am.
Only concepts of destination
Excerpt from: "Dear Future Boyfriend" by Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz. Scribd.
This material may be protected by copyright.
Read this book on Scribd: https://www.scribd.com/book/257695077
June 12, 2013
I picked this book up while substitute teaching in an inner-city high school. I was looking for poetry that kids who knew maybe nothing about poetry (especially contemporary poetry) could relate to and appreciate. Flipping through “Dear Future Boyfriend” in a Barnes and Noble, I thought it might just work. But I had no idea the first 15 year old girl I showed it to would read it cover to cover, entranced, and ask for more.
This is by no means just a book for young adults, but I think that story speaks to how accessible Aptowicz makes poetry. Her intelligence and honesty, combined with the brevity of many of her poems in this collection, turn her from author into confidante. You feel while reading that she is the best friend you always so needed in high school or college, the one who really understood what you were feeling and could articulate it in a way that made you feel less alone.
This is by no means just a book for young adults, but I think that story speaks to how accessible Aptowicz makes poetry. Her intelligence and honesty, combined with the brevity of many of her poems in this collection, turn her from author into confidante. You feel while reading that she is the best friend you always so needed in high school or college, the one who really understood what you were feeling and could articulate it in a way that made you feel less alone.
January 24, 2019
I’ve never read a book that was a compilation of poems before. This was my first, and I have to say I wasn’t disappointed. Recently I’ve been going through heartbreak and while searching for some kind of inspirational source to help pull me through it, I stumbled upon a blog that recommended this book among several others. Though it’s written in poems, it reads like thoughts you’d have in your own head... her words are written echoes of emotions, feelings, desires, and pain that are incredibly relatable; which is what makes this book so good and worth buying.
Definitely recommend it if you’re in need of a short book that isn’t gonna tell you “it’s all gonna be okay,” but instead demonstrates that you’re not alone in feeling worthless and unlovable. Aptowicz poetically lays out her heart and bares her soul to show you that you can get through your heartbreak with time, and that those memories you wish you could forget, eventually won’t make you feel so bad anymore.
Definitely recommend it if you’re in need of a short book that isn’t gonna tell you “it’s all gonna be okay,” but instead demonstrates that you’re not alone in feeling worthless and unlovable. Aptowicz poetically lays out her heart and bares her soul to show you that you can get through your heartbreak with time, and that those memories you wish you could forget, eventually won’t make you feel so bad anymore.
March 13, 2019
Learning to appreciate and really love poetry more and more.
“You don’t remember that conversation,
but I do. I carry it around with me 24/7.
It jangles like piles of sea glass.
It’s stupid how much I can remember,
and even dumber that if I didn’t hate the ocean
then, I certainly do now, along with every other
thing that reminds me of you...
I hate all these things, and I shouldn’t.
I should hate you, but I don’t.
I just need to move on, but I am stuck.
But I think I’m beginning to understand.
This morning, the clouds outside my window
burst into tears the moment I woke up,
and I finally heard what they were saying:
You can only hold in to things for so long.
Sometimes you’ve just got to let go.”
“You don’t remember that conversation,
but I do. I carry it around with me 24/7.
It jangles like piles of sea glass.
It’s stupid how much I can remember,
and even dumber that if I didn’t hate the ocean
then, I certainly do now, along with every other
thing that reminds me of you...
I hate all these things, and I shouldn’t.
I should hate you, but I don’t.
I just need to move on, but I am stuck.
But I think I’m beginning to understand.
This morning, the clouds outside my window
burst into tears the moment I woke up,
and I finally heard what they were saying:
You can only hold in to things for so long.
Sometimes you’ve just got to let go.”
April 29, 2020
You can definitely tell that this is Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz's first book. She still has the wit and sense of humor but her later stuff has more maturity and bite.
A solid book but nowhere near as awesome as "Hot Teen Slut." It's great to track how a poet grows. Good but would read her other work first.
Finished again today, June 20, 2016. There is a lot of fun stuff in the collection.
A solid book but nowhere near as awesome as "Hot Teen Slut." It's great to track how a poet grows. Good but would read her other work first.
Finished again today, June 20, 2016. There is a lot of fun stuff in the collection.
Read
May 12, 2025The Poems Mother and Father are some of the best Poems I've ever read!
The collection as a whole is very solid and I highly enjoyed it, even though some weren't the strongest.
This Poet is definitely one I will be following more!
Other favorites:
-Too Many: Twice
-Lit (Or To The Scientist Whom I'm Not Speaking To Anymore)
The collection as a whole is very solid and I highly enjoyed it, even though some weren't the strongest.
This Poet is definitely one I will be following more!
Other favorites:
-Too Many: Twice
-Lit (Or To The Scientist Whom I'm Not Speaking To Anymore)
March 31, 2018
Where were you, Cristin O'Keefe, bright-voiced, precocious profet, the semester I taught in high school? Where were you the summer I was heartbroken and underage and unfit to deal with loss? 17 or 27, thank you for writing a poem I can read about the scientist I am not speaking to anymore.
December 12, 2019
I am not into poetry but in some link on Facebook I saw that this book is supposed to be emotional and this is poetry so I thought to give it a try and my first time into the poetry, quite a bad experience must say.
January 6, 2025
I bought this at a library book sale in high school. this collection continues to be one I revisit throughout life. the meanings & stories transform through the lens of my own experiences each time I come back, unlocking new depths to what is just a really well done collection
June 21, 2019
This collection of poems took me back to the age the author was when she wrote this collection - an angry, sad, desperate state. Too young to know what's worth pouring words over. Stupid boys.
April 22, 2021
The title I felt like was misleading, and overall was pretty cringe? I liked the poems at the beginning about her parents though.
January 23, 2025
Short and bittersweet. Some good lines worth highlighting. Nothing life changing.
Want to read
May 30, 2025Cutting is for Lit (or: To the scientist I am
not speaking to any more)
By Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz
not speaking to any more)
By Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz
June 27, 2025
June 2025 reread:
This is my third time reading this book. The first was about thirteen years ago. I had just started college and related to so many of the poems. Over a decade later, I find myself connecting to it on a different level.
My life is very different. I've dealt with heartbreak in ways I could have never imagined at eighteen. It's always interesting to pick up a book you loved years before and see how you feel about it now. See how the experiences you have had affect your enjoyment of it.
Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz has many poems in this collection which made me laugh and one that made me tear up. I love the stories she is able to tell in her lines of verse. The emotions she is able to express in such a small amount of space.
It is not my favorite poetry collection anymore as it was when I was eighteen, but it brings me back to that moment in time. There are so many poems which stand out in this collection, which all show a range of emotions and topics. Ones about her parents, love, friendship, and even someone stealing the family lawn gnome (a personal favorite of mine).
It was a great experience coming back to this collection again.
September 2017 reread:
This was a re-read for me of this poetry collection. When I read it again, it made me remember how much I enjoyed reading it over five years ago. It was in my first year of college and the topics she wrote about were very relatable for me. I connected with Cristin then and I continue to connect with her now. There are many poems in this collection that I have read multiple times over the years since I had first read it: "Mother," "Father," "Lit; Or to the Scientist Whom I’m Not Speaking to Anymore", "Science," and especially "Ode to the Person Who Stole My Family's Lawn Gnome".
I have read plenty of poetry collections, whether that be through a college class or in my own free time but I have not connected to a poet like I have this. I adore poetry, writing and reading it and this is a collection that I know I will get something out of everytime I read it.
Cristin writes about love, heartbreak, family, and even about someone who stole something very important to her. The poems are funny and also heartbreakingly sad.
As a poet myself, I enjoy analyzing poems for their content and as a reader, I love the stories that she can create.
I will be picking up more of Cristin's poetry collections, hopefully soon.
This is my third time reading this book. The first was about thirteen years ago. I had just started college and related to so many of the poems. Over a decade later, I find myself connecting to it on a different level.
My life is very different. I've dealt with heartbreak in ways I could have never imagined at eighteen. It's always interesting to pick up a book you loved years before and see how you feel about it now. See how the experiences you have had affect your enjoyment of it.
Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz has many poems in this collection which made me laugh and one that made me tear up. I love the stories she is able to tell in her lines of verse. The emotions she is able to express in such a small amount of space.
It is not my favorite poetry collection anymore as it was when I was eighteen, but it brings me back to that moment in time. There are so many poems which stand out in this collection, which all show a range of emotions and topics. Ones about her parents, love, friendship, and even someone stealing the family lawn gnome (a personal favorite of mine).
It was a great experience coming back to this collection again.
September 2017 reread:
This was a re-read for me of this poetry collection. When I read it again, it made me remember how much I enjoyed reading it over five years ago. It was in my first year of college and the topics she wrote about were very relatable for me. I connected with Cristin then and I continue to connect with her now. There are many poems in this collection that I have read multiple times over the years since I had first read it: "Mother," "Father," "Lit; Or to the Scientist Whom I’m Not Speaking to Anymore", "Science," and especially "Ode to the Person Who Stole My Family's Lawn Gnome".
I have read plenty of poetry collections, whether that be through a college class or in my own free time but I have not connected to a poet like I have this. I adore poetry, writing and reading it and this is a collection that I know I will get something out of everytime I read it.
Cristin writes about love, heartbreak, family, and even about someone who stole something very important to her. The poems are funny and also heartbreakingly sad.
As a poet myself, I enjoy analyzing poems for their content and as a reader, I love the stories that she can create.
I will be picking up more of Cristin's poetry collections, hopefully soon.
October 28, 2013
Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz has an accessible voice and an attitude that is unapologetic but saying all the things we wish we were brave enough to say and write poems about. Because we've all written the bitter breakup poem, but who's written a "Lit" but Cristin?
Favorites:
"Lit (or to the scientist whom I'm not speaking to anymore)"
"Why I Avoid Eye Contact"
"Warranty"
"Ex-Boyfriend"
"On Why I Hate the Ocean"
Favorites:
"Lit (or to the scientist whom I'm not speaking to anymore)"
"Why I Avoid Eye Contact"
"Warranty"
"Ex-Boyfriend"
"On Why I Hate the Ocean"
October 27, 2021
“DOWN THERE - This is how you refer to your genitalia. This is also where your mother told me, while standing at the basement door, I could find some ice cream.”
Slow starting but ended up liking the poems toward the end. I like the way the poet wrote anger. Not recommended if your name is Jason.
Slow starting but ended up liking the poems toward the end. I like the way the poet wrote anger. Not recommended if your name is Jason.
January 15, 2013
This is another book of poetry I found on accident after reading Mindy Nettifee. These poems rang bells in my heart and I greatly enjoyed the conceit of letters to a future lover. Many of the poems are about love and relationships, heartbreak and friendship and these themes resonated with me.
July 6, 2014
Fresh and original, I loved the way Aptowicz's voice comes through in this collection. "Lit..." is a personal favorite and I'll be thinking about it in the future when I feel like name dropping literary references. I was impressed by how thoroughly she explored the theme of the collection.
July 11, 2011
Nice, clear poetry that's not at all unpretentious. What a relief!
January 8, 2012
Pretty good collection of poetry. Her overall wit and attitude won me over; honest and critical. 3.5/5
November 20, 2012
Kind of in your face, very funny.
May 27, 2013
I loved it.
June 6, 2013
What I liked best about this collection of poetry was its relatability and it's subtle wit. It speaks from the heart. I could definitely see myself buying another book by the author.
Read
July 24, 2017I needed this. I loved this.
September 17, 2017
This was a re-read for me of this poetry collection. When I read it again, it made me remember how much I enjoyed reading it over five years ago. It was in my first year of college and the topics she wrote about were very relatable for me. I connected with Cristin then and I continue to connect with her now. There are many poems in this collection that I have read multiple times over the years since I had first read it: "Mother," "Father," "Lit", "Science," and especially "Ode to the Person Who Stole My Family's Lawn Gnome".
I have read plenty of poetry collections, whether that be through a college class or in my own free time but I have not connected to a poet like I have this. I adore poetry, writing and reading it and this is a collection that I know I will get something out of everytime I read it.
Cristin writes about love, heartbreak, family, and even about someone who stole something very important to her. The poems are funny and also heartbreakingly sad.
As a poet myself, I enjoy analyzing poems for their content and as a reader, I love the stories that she can create.
I will be picking up more of Cristin's poetry collections, hopefully soon.
I have read plenty of poetry collections, whether that be through a college class or in my own free time but I have not connected to a poet like I have this. I adore poetry, writing and reading it and this is a collection that I know I will get something out of everytime I read it.
Cristin writes about love, heartbreak, family, and even about someone who stole something very important to her. The poems are funny and also heartbreakingly sad.
As a poet myself, I enjoy analyzing poems for their content and as a reader, I love the stories that she can create.
I will be picking up more of Cristin's poetry collections, hopefully soon.
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews