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Table Scraps
You know those days when your girlfriend breaks up with you, and you’re brutally murdered by a werewolf only to be resurrected as a flesh-eating monster, doomed to walk the earth until the werewolf dies?
Cole is having one of those days.
After waking on a slab with a lumberjack-looking mortician stapling his chest back together, Cole is given a xeroxed pamphlet full of Ghoul Rules and welcomed into the world of the undead. Now he has one way Track down and kill the beast that made him this way.
As Cole stumbles through a shadowy world of monsters, vampire brothels, and secret werewolf societies, he must try to find a sense of closure with his past relationship while coming to terms with his death and new life as a flesh-eating creature of the night.
Between hallucinations of talking cookies, run-ins with gremlins, and a wolf girl who might be the only one worth saving, survival means rewriting the rules of what it means to be a monster.
Darkly funny, grotesque, and bizarrely heartfelt, Table Scraps is a horror-comedy about identity, appetite, and finding scraps of humanity when the world wants you to feast.
Cole is having one of those days.
After waking on a slab with a lumberjack-looking mortician stapling his chest back together, Cole is given a xeroxed pamphlet full of Ghoul Rules and welcomed into the world of the undead. Now he has one way Track down and kill the beast that made him this way.
As Cole stumbles through a shadowy world of monsters, vampire brothels, and secret werewolf societies, he must try to find a sense of closure with his past relationship while coming to terms with his death and new life as a flesh-eating creature of the night.
Between hallucinations of talking cookies, run-ins with gremlins, and a wolf girl who might be the only one worth saving, survival means rewriting the rules of what it means to be a monster.
Darkly funny, grotesque, and bizarrely heartfelt, Table Scraps is a horror-comedy about identity, appetite, and finding scraps of humanity when the world wants you to feast.
423 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 1, 2025
5 people are currently reading
13 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
October 1, 2025
Hilarious, heart-wrenching, and packed with all the classic horror cryptids we know and love (but with a fun twist), TABLE SCRAPS has easily become one of my favorite reads of all time.
Getting dumped in the woods by his girlfriend of ten years would have been bad enough, but when a werewolf crashes the party, Cole's breakup gets more complicated than he ever could have expected. After the beast attacks, Cole wakes up in a morgue, where his Friendly Neighborhood Mortician informs him that he is now a ghoul (and, yes, his ghoul status comes with a fun pamphlet, complete with survival instructions). As Cole learns how to navigate his undead status, he slowly uncovers a seedy underbelly of monstrous proportions. It turns out all the monsters he once believed were works of fiction are actually real—including the werewolf that transformed him into the ghoul he is now. What's more: Cole learns that if he kills the werewolf responsible for making him a ghoul, he might be able to return to the land of the living. But, just like everything else in this horrifying new reality, not everything is exactly as it seems, and if Cole really wants a chance at becoming human again, he must first learn to embrace the monster he's become.
A gripping, ghoulish tale that seamlessly blends classic horror with laugh-out-loud comedy, TABLE SCRAPS breathes new life into the monsters we thought we knew so well. Funny, frightening, and at times heartbreaking, this book shines a light on what it means to feel like a monster and how we can learn to love ourselves despite it. Perfect for fans of Jason Pargin and Chris Roberson.
Getting dumped in the woods by his girlfriend of ten years would have been bad enough, but when a werewolf crashes the party, Cole's breakup gets more complicated than he ever could have expected. After the beast attacks, Cole wakes up in a morgue, where his Friendly Neighborhood Mortician informs him that he is now a ghoul (and, yes, his ghoul status comes with a fun pamphlet, complete with survival instructions). As Cole learns how to navigate his undead status, he slowly uncovers a seedy underbelly of monstrous proportions. It turns out all the monsters he once believed were works of fiction are actually real—including the werewolf that transformed him into the ghoul he is now. What's more: Cole learns that if he kills the werewolf responsible for making him a ghoul, he might be able to return to the land of the living. But, just like everything else in this horrifying new reality, not everything is exactly as it seems, and if Cole really wants a chance at becoming human again, he must first learn to embrace the monster he's become.
A gripping, ghoulish tale that seamlessly blends classic horror with laugh-out-loud comedy, TABLE SCRAPS breathes new life into the monsters we thought we knew so well. Funny, frightening, and at times heartbreaking, this book shines a light on what it means to feel like a monster and how we can learn to love ourselves despite it. Perfect for fans of Jason Pargin and Chris Roberson.
November 10, 2025
A fantastic debut in the genre from a new author.
I enjoyed the setup of the world, with the rules of various beasts played with a bit in a fresh way. My only complaint was that I actually wanted the main character, Cole, to have more time to explore everything. There was so much constant action that a lot of the lore got skirted over, and I think it would've been fun to have a deeper read of the pamphlets Terry had prepared on the different creatures. I also would've liked more history on Terry—his backstory, how he got messed up with Roman, etc. And more back story on how the system came into being.
There was a moment of inconsistency at the end, where it seems like Cole has removed one of his hands to escape handcuffs, but then later he has both of them again. I'm not sure if I was misunderstanding that, or not, but it did stand out.
Overall, a fun debut, and I'd look forward to more from this author, especially digging more into the systems and rules of the fantasy beasts. Maybe as a sequel.
I enjoyed the setup of the world, with the rules of various beasts played with a bit in a fresh way. My only complaint was that I actually wanted the main character, Cole, to have more time to explore everything. There was so much constant action that a lot of the lore got skirted over, and I think it would've been fun to have a deeper read of the pamphlets Terry had prepared on the different creatures. I also would've liked more history on Terry—his backstory, how he got messed up with Roman, etc. And more back story on how the system came into being.
There was a moment of inconsistency at the end, where it seems like Cole has removed one of his hands to escape handcuffs, but then later he has both of them again. I'm not sure if I was misunderstanding that, or not, but it did stand out.
Overall, a fun debut, and I'd look forward to more from this author, especially digging more into the systems and rules of the fantasy beasts. Maybe as a sequel.
December 19, 2025
Sometimes you just want a hilariously gross break-up comedy where the hero’s body parts keep falling off. This is that book.
All the major characters are some kind of undead and/or immortal monsters: werewolves, vampires, ghouls, zombies, and more. There’s a system that keeps them fed but under the public’s radar, except that system seems to be rigged in one werewolf’s favor. When main character Cole, a hapless neophyte ghoul held together with staples and duct tape, decides to seek justice for himself and his fellow monsters, it’s a comical and messy ride.
I love a story where the monsters are still the people they were, only different. The banter between Cole and his mentor(?) Terry is laugh-out-loud funny (if incredibly frustrating for Cole), while Cole’s interactions with his ex-girlfriend Erin are touching and believable. The monster-on-monster violence is wildly splattery. Recommended for readers who like that sort of thing.
All the major characters are some kind of undead and/or immortal monsters: werewolves, vampires, ghouls, zombies, and more. There’s a system that keeps them fed but under the public’s radar, except that system seems to be rigged in one werewolf’s favor. When main character Cole, a hapless neophyte ghoul held together with staples and duct tape, decides to seek justice for himself and his fellow monsters, it’s a comical and messy ride.
I love a story where the monsters are still the people they were, only different. The banter between Cole and his mentor(?) Terry is laugh-out-loud funny (if incredibly frustrating for Cole), while Cole’s interactions with his ex-girlfriend Erin are touching and believable. The monster-on-monster violence is wildly splattery. Recommended for readers who like that sort of thing.
October 4, 2025
Yaaaaaaaasssssssss!!!!
I'd heard whispers of this book from Anthony's podcast, so getting to read this early was a TREAT!!
This book is funny, the characters are relatable AF, cracking jokes while taping themselves back together with duct tape and eating brain yogurt.
It had several moments where I had to look away to gag, but far more moments where I laughed out loud.
For real, you'll laugh so much. But also, this book is GROSS. absolutely gross. (But in a really fun way)
I'd heard whispers of this book from Anthony's podcast, so getting to read this early was a TREAT!!
This book is funny, the characters are relatable AF, cracking jokes while taping themselves back together with duct tape and eating brain yogurt.
It had several moments where I had to look away to gag, but far more moments where I laughed out loud.
For real, you'll laugh so much. But also, this book is GROSS. absolutely gross. (But in a really fun way)
November 15, 2025
This book was one of my favorites of the year! If you are ever in a reading slump or a life slump this book will surely get you out of it. It's ridiculous fun, heartwarming and refreshing. The story isn't afraid to poke fun at itself, and as a reader I felt like part of the inside jokes. I laughed, I cried, I scream "No Why?!" It was such a great addition to my collection, and I think this is one I will probably reread when I need a reminder of the ironies of life.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews