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Life After Darkness: A Doctor's Journey Through Severe Depression
Life After Darkness is the remarkable and moving story of a doctor and mother of four who endured seven years of severe depression. Self-harm, attempted suicides and admissions to psychiatric units culminated in her resorting to brain surgery as a final attempt to escape her illness. The story of Cathy Wield covers the horrors of time spent in archaic institutions and the loss of any hope, to a full recovery following surgery. Today she has returned to her career and rediscovered the joys of life and her family. This story is one of hope from an often hidden and stigmatized disease.
240 pages, Paperback
First published January 31, 2006
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
September 21, 2018
“Life After Darkness” is an important book. It is raw and honest, and is told to us directly, without window dressing. It’s the story of Dr. Cathy Wield’s seven-year battle against major depression. It details her descent from a young, intelligent and energetic doctor, to a frustrated, desperate patient whose only antidote for emotional pain was self-inflicted physical pain.
Dr. Wield’s own memory of events is fogged by the depression, medications and electro-shock therapy, but with the help and cooperation of her doctors, family and friends, and using the raw text of her diary, she reconstructs her early symptoms, her descent into long-term serious illness, her multiple Sections (a term used in the UK to describe enforced admittance to a high-security mental hospital), her desperation, and finally her acceptance of (and 18-month wait for) a neurosurgical procedure which only offered a 30% chance of real relief.
This is a story which should be read by anyone trying to help and support a patient suffering from depression. Dr. Wield helps us understand how she viewed the many attempts of people to help her, what worked and what was simply frustrating. She helps us relate to the impact on her family, and how they coped. She expresses a huge appreciation for the many people who provided her care, from the psychologists and psychiatrists, to the personal care assistants, to the church members who never abandoned her cause. She describes the incredible faith and commitment of her husband, who almost single-handedly held the family’s world together even as Cathy’s was falling apart.
But more than anything, Cathy gives us the raw voice of a patient speaking from the depths of despair and the driving desire to get well. We must all be more vigilant in hearing that desperate voice hidden, as Cathy tried so hard to do, behind the “Number 3 ‘Fine, fine’ with smile” (to borrow a description from Hannah Green’s “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden”), and to fully and generously listen, as Cathy suggests, to the real pain of depressed patients.
The ending of the book was truly astonishing, and I had tears on my cheeks as I read of Cathy’s recovery, a miracle in so many ways. The addition of the two illuminating Afterwards, one by her husband and the other by her primary psychiatrist, were valuable, as was the full text of the patient’s advisory document for the neurosurgical procedure.
This book suffers a bit from a bumpy start, with two Forwards by unidentified people, and an Introduction which fails to set the stage with dates, timelines, or geographic location. The narrative could have been helped by some rigorous editing, to help us follow Cathy’s story more fully. The typesetting (of the ebook edition) was a bit clumsy, with chapter headings changing style, and poorly framed diary entries.
But those small weaknesses aside, this book and Dr. Wield’s message of support and hope deserves to be read by a very broad audience.
Dr. Wield’s own memory of events is fogged by the depression, medications and electro-shock therapy, but with the help and cooperation of her doctors, family and friends, and using the raw text of her diary, she reconstructs her early symptoms, her descent into long-term serious illness, her multiple Sections (a term used in the UK to describe enforced admittance to a high-security mental hospital), her desperation, and finally her acceptance of (and 18-month wait for) a neurosurgical procedure which only offered a 30% chance of real relief.
This is a story which should be read by anyone trying to help and support a patient suffering from depression. Dr. Wield helps us understand how she viewed the many attempts of people to help her, what worked and what was simply frustrating. She helps us relate to the impact on her family, and how they coped. She expresses a huge appreciation for the many people who provided her care, from the psychologists and psychiatrists, to the personal care assistants, to the church members who never abandoned her cause. She describes the incredible faith and commitment of her husband, who almost single-handedly held the family’s world together even as Cathy’s was falling apart.
But more than anything, Cathy gives us the raw voice of a patient speaking from the depths of despair and the driving desire to get well. We must all be more vigilant in hearing that desperate voice hidden, as Cathy tried so hard to do, behind the “Number 3 ‘Fine, fine’ with smile” (to borrow a description from Hannah Green’s “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden”), and to fully and generously listen, as Cathy suggests, to the real pain of depressed patients.
The ending of the book was truly astonishing, and I had tears on my cheeks as I read of Cathy’s recovery, a miracle in so many ways. The addition of the two illuminating Afterwards, one by her husband and the other by her primary psychiatrist, were valuable, as was the full text of the patient’s advisory document for the neurosurgical procedure.
This book suffers a bit from a bumpy start, with two Forwards by unidentified people, and an Introduction which fails to set the stage with dates, timelines, or geographic location. The narrative could have been helped by some rigorous editing, to help us follow Cathy’s story more fully. The typesetting (of the ebook edition) was a bit clumsy, with chapter headings changing style, and poorly framed diary entries.
But those small weaknesses aside, this book and Dr. Wield’s message of support and hope deserves to be read by a very broad audience.
August 9, 2016
A fabulously written autobiography of a doctor who suffered from severe seemingly untreatable depression for seven years. I chose to read this having found 'Sunbathing in the Rain', another book about depression, eye opening. This was even more so. I was quickly drawn in to Cathy's life and felt as involved with her as I do with the patients I am currently seeing in reality on my Psychiatry placement as a medical student, perhaps even more involved. Her story starts before depression, takes the reader right through her sectioning in hospital, antidepressant medication, 100+ attempts of ECT and finally recovery after neurosurgery. It has been a great learning tool as well as a gripping read and I'd recommend it to anyone who is sceptical about those diagnosed with Depression.
July 22, 2016
Ruthless depicting of severe and life threatening self harm and remarkable recovery. Good for insight into severe depression and also felt strong feeling for Cathy and people trying to help her. Appalling attitudes from some others in 'caring' profession and it is important to highlight this so that awareness is raised of how damaging this is.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews