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Mayflower Madam: The Secret Life of Sydney Biddle Barrows
With flair, humor, and style, Sydney Biddle Barrows tells the whole intriguing story of how she merged business and sex to create Cachet—the escort service of choice among rich, powerful, and prominent men. Adapting business management methods of the 1980s to the world's oldest profession, in this frank, surprising, and insightful book, Ms. Barrows emerges as a woman who seized a chance and made the most of it.
291 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1987
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
April 20, 2019
It was actually interesting and my friend, whom I gave this to when I was done thought the same.
She is a good writer and fills the pages with interesting stories. I was way more engrossed then I had thought I'd be.
Whether you approve or disapprove of her life style one thing is for sure. You will not be bored.
She is a good writer and fills the pages with interesting stories. I was way more engrossed then I had thought I'd be.
Whether you approve or disapprove of her life style one thing is for sure. You will not be bored.
March 18, 2016
For the past few years, most of my reading material has been chosen by whatever I can find on the shelves at second-hand stores. Imagine my surprise and delight when I found this title from the 1980s in almost pristine condition on the shelf at Value Village.
Back in the day, this was a big story: a woman of high-class ancestry busted for running a high-class prostitution service. I remember seeing the headlines and all the news stories on TV.
The book was really good. She starts out telling a bit about her background and childhood, then goes on to show how she got the idea to start the business and how she ran it. The details are pretty fascinating, and she realized something early on that I think all top-notch entrepreneurs realize: The better you treat your employees, the more loyal they are to you and the better your business runs. Happy employees = happy clients = booming business.
Any business owner could learn a thing or two from Sydney Biddle Barrows.
Back in the day, this was a big story: a woman of high-class ancestry busted for running a high-class prostitution service. I remember seeing the headlines and all the news stories on TV.
The book was really good. She starts out telling a bit about her background and childhood, then goes on to show how she got the idea to start the business and how she ran it. The details are pretty fascinating, and she realized something early on that I think all top-notch entrepreneurs realize: The better you treat your employees, the more loyal they are to you and the better your business runs. Happy employees = happy clients = booming business.
Any business owner could learn a thing or two from Sydney Biddle Barrows.
March 5, 2010
A fascinating book about the woman with a high society background who ended up becoming a madam to high-priced call girls. She makes some great points about the idiocy behind enforcement of anti-prostitution laws, plus, how often do you get a view of this strange world?
June 11, 2018
You can't help but be in awe. Of the story, the business, the girls, the clients. It's a fascinating industry and she developed a well-run business simply based on how she wanted to be treated herself.
June 30, 2021
When this book came out in the late 1980s, I made a mental note to read it someday, and I finally did. Certainly it would have been more interesting then, but it still has what I hoped to read: a “nice” girl, in fact from a family “on the social register” becomes a maverick, a rebel, and lives a secret life wherein she makes a lot of money in a shocking way. She creates an Escort Service called “Cachet” which was tip-top in Manhattan, with clients who are lawyers, CEO’s, Saudi princes, and other famous or famously rich men.
The secret to her success was being classy, ironic as it seems. She employed only intelligent, educated, attractive girls who had day jobs and future plans, and taught them good manners if they didn’t fully have them. She treated them very well and made sure they were safe. They would not go on a “call,” whether to an elaborate dinner at the Waldorf, or a late meeting at an upscale hotel, without being well dressed and knowing in advance that the client had passed muster with the office. The clients, who were well pleased, passed Cachet’s great reputation to their international friends, became repeat clients, and some became staunch defenders when needed.
Her business plan and practices were fun to read, what with “code words” and the occasional skirmish. The practices at other call girl operations were shocking in comparison. Although later, after her arrest, she would be called a “madam” and her operation called “a brothel,” those words were incorrect. Although sex was implied, it was never guaranteed. Her office was just that, as all “dates” were away from the office.
There were no titillating sex scenes or descriptions, just a few situational anecdotes, and lots of humor. The girls (about 30) often became good friends and sometimes made long-lasting relationships with co-workers and clients.
Unfortunately there was a lot of repeating in the book, mainly of how special the clients were and how high their standards were, and how polite and careful she was about her hiring practices, methods of vetting clients, handling payments, etc. It was all interesting at least once.
Her arrest (aiding prostitution) and the outcomes are also interesting.. Although she has a point that there is no “crime” in assisting two people who want the same thing (no-strings sex with a safe, vetted partner), the case for married clients may be different. The big money spent on a call girl might have been spent in marriage counseling or a vacation, and thus the wife might not have been the loser in the transaction. It’s complicated.
I like stories about people with secret lives, and the daring to pull off unusual events.
The secret to her success was being classy, ironic as it seems. She employed only intelligent, educated, attractive girls who had day jobs and future plans, and taught them good manners if they didn’t fully have them. She treated them very well and made sure they were safe. They would not go on a “call,” whether to an elaborate dinner at the Waldorf, or a late meeting at an upscale hotel, without being well dressed and knowing in advance that the client had passed muster with the office. The clients, who were well pleased, passed Cachet’s great reputation to their international friends, became repeat clients, and some became staunch defenders when needed.
Her business plan and practices were fun to read, what with “code words” and the occasional skirmish. The practices at other call girl operations were shocking in comparison. Although later, after her arrest, she would be called a “madam” and her operation called “a brothel,” those words were incorrect. Although sex was implied, it was never guaranteed. Her office was just that, as all “dates” were away from the office.
There were no titillating sex scenes or descriptions, just a few situational anecdotes, and lots of humor. The girls (about 30) often became good friends and sometimes made long-lasting relationships with co-workers and clients.
Unfortunately there was a lot of repeating in the book, mainly of how special the clients were and how high their standards were, and how polite and careful she was about her hiring practices, methods of vetting clients, handling payments, etc. It was all interesting at least once.
Her arrest (aiding prostitution) and the outcomes are also interesting.. Although she has a point that there is no “crime” in assisting two people who want the same thing (no-strings sex with a safe, vetted partner), the case for married clients may be different. The big money spent on a call girl might have been spent in marriage counseling or a vacation, and thus the wife might not have been the loser in the transaction. It’s complicated.
I like stories about people with secret lives, and the daring to pull off unusual events.
July 20, 2007
I read this book when I was in college. Did my mom have a copy or did I pick it up used somewhere? I duuno, but reading about high class prostitution was really titilating. I remember the prostitutes were required to wear business/professional clothes so they did not stand out as whores, with really tasteful yet sexy underwear.
June 4, 2019
A fascinating book that could almost double as a how-to guide on how to replicate cache’s business model. I wish Mr. Novak, the ghostwriter, could have kept to himself the three mentions to his book ”Iacocca,” that I’m sure is even more forgotten than Ms. Barrow’s books. Ms. Barrow’s books should be republished and made available online.
February 16, 2026
Bought at The Book Trader because I recognized the name Biddle as Philadelphia royalty.
This feels like that time that Martha Stewart got thrown in jail for an extremely mild version of what a bunch of men have been getting away with for decades. To Sydney's credit, she doesn't harp on that, and this is mostly the story of how she built up her business. It's surprisingly well written, perhaps because she had the guiding hand of ghost author William Novak. She goes into a lot of detail about the instructions she gave her girls, which is fascinating, and the types of men who used her service. It operated in this interesting grey area where technically they were legal as long as they did not verbally agree to have sex in exchange for money. After all, hiring a woman to spend time with you is not illegal, and the men paid the same whether they had sex or not (and occasionally they did just want to talk). They were careful to never mention sex over the phone, or write anything in their books. And yet the DA still attempted to prosecute (though only Sydney and her workers, not the men soliciting the sex, god forbid!). The whole thing became the talk of the town, and she became quite a celebrity, with tabloids fabricating an elaborate on-site bordello that never existed (the girls went to the men's hotels or homes), and editorials about wasting taxpayer money when there were murderers and robbers to catch.
This feels like that time that Martha Stewart got thrown in jail for an extremely mild version of what a bunch of men have been getting away with for decades. To Sydney's credit, she doesn't harp on that, and this is mostly the story of how she built up her business. It's surprisingly well written, perhaps because she had the guiding hand of ghost author William Novak. She goes into a lot of detail about the instructions she gave her girls, which is fascinating, and the types of men who used her service. It operated in this interesting grey area where technically they were legal as long as they did not verbally agree to have sex in exchange for money. After all, hiring a woman to spend time with you is not illegal, and the men paid the same whether they had sex or not (and occasionally they did just want to talk). They were careful to never mention sex over the phone, or write anything in their books. And yet the DA still attempted to prosecute (though only Sydney and her workers, not the men soliciting the sex, god forbid!). The whole thing became the talk of the town, and she became quite a celebrity, with tabloids fabricating an elaborate on-site bordello that never existed (the girls went to the men's hotels or homes), and editorials about wasting taxpayer money when there were murderers and robbers to catch.
October 29, 2008
Reading Sydney's memoir has further convinced me that prostitution needs to be legalized. No matter how many laws you make, this business is obviously not deterred and in the end it bogs down the court system. I think Sydney said it best in the book when she said "A call girl is simply a woman who hates poverty more than she hates sin." Legalizing prostitution would allow the industry to set standards and make it safter for all those who participate. I really respected that Sydney saw how appalling other agencies treated their employees and that she was determined to be fair and treat her employees well. As a result her employees didn't feel broken, trapped or degraded in any way. She had a policy that if a girl didn't feel comfortable for any reason they could leave a call, even if that reason was they just weren't attracted to the man. She set up health benefits for her employees and paid them fairly. This is sorely lacking in the current industry and I believe legalizing prostitution so these women aren't demonized is the only way to improve the working conditions. For better or worse call girls, escorts, prostitutes are business women. Legalizing it would allow them to negotiate their own terms, ensure that they could run background checks on potential clients, arrange safe meeting places, etc. Sydney also required the men that came to her escort service were respectful to her girls. She insisted that the men treat them with respect and consideration and if she found out a client had not acted with her employees best interest in mind she had no problem confronting them and making sure they knew that they would have to change. I was amazed that she would do this for her girls regarding some very mundane details. One girl told her that the client had no food or beverage in his house and when she asked for a drink he gave her warm tap water in a paper cup. Sydney called the client and requested that at the very least he stock some diet soda and proper glasses for the girls he hired. I was amazed at how important these woman's feelings were to her. I would love to hear this story from the escorts side. I'd be curious to see if she was as fair and judicial as she says, however I don't get the feeling this is the author's way of grandstanding about what a savior she was.
This book had some amazing facts a figures. One of the figures Sydney references is that each time a prostitute is arrested it costs the taxpayers $3000.00. And that was back in 1984! I can't imagine what that figure is now. The government appears to have it priorities screwed up, the mere fact that they would rather spend $3000 to bust a prostitute thereby giving her a criminal record which makes it even harder for these women to find what the government deems "legitimate" work rather then take that money and devout it to say job training, or job resources or even public aid infuriates me. $3000.00 on a victimless crime. I realize often times prostitution is linked with other crimes such as drug use, drug dealing, domestic violence, and robbery, I also believe this is the very reason the government needs to legalize this industry so it can be regulated and improved. It is more often than not that it is these women who suffer the consequences of their business as opposed to their clients. It is one of the worst double standards out there. These women deserve to be protected.
There were two things that did irk me. First was her apologist attitude regarding married men using her service to cheat on their wives. While I realize if men are willing to cheat on their spouses they will do so regardless, however I have trouble reconciling the fact that this business does enable these types of men to do so almost guilt free and without major risk of being caught. Second, I was equally shocked when she wrote that she discouraged the use of prophylactics. Granted this was the early eighties and the public wasn't as well educated to the risks associated with unprotected copulation, but I still feel this fact was overly irresponsible even in such a day and age. I truly hope none of her girls ever contracted AIDS or any other disease for that matter.
All in all it was a well written and engaging book that really opened my eyes further.
This book had some amazing facts a figures. One of the figures Sydney references is that each time a prostitute is arrested it costs the taxpayers $3000.00. And that was back in 1984! I can't imagine what that figure is now. The government appears to have it priorities screwed up, the mere fact that they would rather spend $3000 to bust a prostitute thereby giving her a criminal record which makes it even harder for these women to find what the government deems "legitimate" work rather then take that money and devout it to say job training, or job resources or even public aid infuriates me. $3000.00 on a victimless crime. I realize often times prostitution is linked with other crimes such as drug use, drug dealing, domestic violence, and robbery, I also believe this is the very reason the government needs to legalize this industry so it can be regulated and improved. It is more often than not that it is these women who suffer the consequences of their business as opposed to their clients. It is one of the worst double standards out there. These women deserve to be protected.
There were two things that did irk me. First was her apologist attitude regarding married men using her service to cheat on their wives. While I realize if men are willing to cheat on their spouses they will do so regardless, however I have trouble reconciling the fact that this business does enable these types of men to do so almost guilt free and without major risk of being caught. Second, I was equally shocked when she wrote that she discouraged the use of prophylactics. Granted this was the early eighties and the public wasn't as well educated to the risks associated with unprotected copulation, but I still feel this fact was overly irresponsible even in such a day and age. I truly hope none of her girls ever contracted AIDS or any other disease for that matter.
All in all it was a well written and engaging book that really opened my eyes further.
December 9, 2014
Read it back in the 1980's. Believe it or not,I found the underground business aspect of it more interesting than anything else. I remember reading one of their innovations was to give their ladies a credit card charge plate that could fit in a purse. When the charges were run by the card, they were for something innocuous, like "Joe's Deli". It's remarkable the operation ran unexposed for as long as it did, given some of their clientele. One wonders if it would even survive today with all of the exposure the internet provides.
September 13, 2017
If you are looking for a raunchy read, this is not it. Published in 1986, the book tells the story of the management of New York City's most elegant escort service, run by Sydney Biddle Barrows ( the Mayflower Madam). A fascinating, sometimes funny view of the world's oldest profession adapted to the management methods of the 1980's.
November 1, 2018
Interesting. It seems she ran a good business, and what initially was a landlord/tenant squabble became a big case. I don't understand why people spent time on murders and robbers instead of prostitution.
June 3, 2011
This was a really good, well written book. It was funny. Barrows tells how she ran her own escort serive for five years. Actually, I loved the book.
December 7, 2018
Is my favorite strory of love.
May 4, 2019
Very well written and very interesting. I lived in NYC during this era so I enjoyed some of the night life history. and Pre-AIDs era sex. Fun read and probably the liveliest written business saga.
January 14, 2021
Interesting book.
May 7, 2021
The book starts out strong and I admire Barrows' business acumen. Let's leave it at, an article in Vanity Fair probably suffices to tell the story.
January 26, 2023
I sailed right thru this bit of high class sleaze, skimming large portions. It didn't really require a close read. I was interested in learning the nitty gritty details of how a high class call girl operation is run, and in reading some exciting tales of life between the satin sheets of expensive commercial sex. The book was fairly long on the former and disappointingly short on the latter. Barrows expresses herself, over and over again, as an honest, tasteful businesswoman who was interested in treating her girls well and giving her clients their money's worth, merely a talented businesswoman who had no prudish qualms about prostitution. One has to wonder if there weren't a few details and unpleasant stories that were left out. Overall it is really not that interesting or titillating. The madam comes across as a sensible and discreet lady, who has a good head for marketing. There are the occasional engaging details: the young, lonely Arab prince who hired call girls and had pillow fights with them, the guy who's dick turned purple because of an anti yeast medication his "date" had been taking, and the stories of the legal battle following her arrest are good reading. But overall it is quite mundane, and could have been the story of any small, successful service business, except that this one peddled sweet young flesh.
A few important points remained untouched. I would be curious to know what kind of security arrangements Madam Barrows had in the event of a violent or creepy john getting a hold of one of Cachet's young lovelies - no mention is made of this in the text. And very little mention is made of sex or the sexual preferences of the clients, altho Barrows is naturally aware that the business was selling sex; the subject is discussed of course, but not to the extent one might expect. Barrows also does not divulge the amount of money she made from the business, other than to say that the "girls" were paid approximately half of the fees ($125 an hour for most, and twice that for a "C" girl, a first rate piece of prime pussy). Nor does she express any regret, or even acknowledge really, that she encouraged girls as young as 19 to rent out their bodies in this manner.
A few important points remained untouched. I would be curious to know what kind of security arrangements Madam Barrows had in the event of a violent or creepy john getting a hold of one of Cachet's young lovelies - no mention is made of this in the text. And very little mention is made of sex or the sexual preferences of the clients, altho Barrows is naturally aware that the business was selling sex; the subject is discussed of course, but not to the extent one might expect. Barrows also does not divulge the amount of money she made from the business, other than to say that the "girls" were paid approximately half of the fees ($125 an hour for most, and twice that for a "C" girl, a first rate piece of prime pussy). Nor does she express any regret, or even acknowledge really, that she encouraged girls as young as 19 to rent out their bodies in this manner.
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September 4, 2019The first time I read this, it was a first edition. Years passed and I went to the public library to check it out again. By now, it had moved into a second edition. If you can, get the FIRST one. There were some details on freaky stuff her girls did that were left out later. At first, I thought, "oh I won't know anything about the woman/her life/location." Then I read that she attended the private girls' school, Stoneleigh-Burnham in Massachusetts! I not only knew a girl who went there, but went to visit her while on leave from the Navy in '73. So that was sort of fun to think old Sydney went there. I had been married over a decade when I first read it. As I read along, I would find myself saying, "yeeech, people pay MONEY to hookers to do THIS to them!?!" What a fun read. and eye-opening. Don't read it if you're a prude. on second thought, maybe prudes should read it. Sydney had no moral compass, that's for sure! the money she made sure was more than she made selling purses!
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April 9, 2022i would've preferred the salacious version of this tale tbh but i guess u get bits of it like when she goes to jail for a night and learns about the plight of streetwalkers or says the names monique noelle nicole and tiffany are HOOKER NAMES!!! for me as one of those it's like when u go to a souvenir shop and find a keychain with your name on it, an important and frankly rather rare experience! there are tertiary "characters" who use astral projection as birth control & alot of butterfaces with "enormous breasts" i would love to know more about but unfortunately it's just this lady running a pretty tight business. i also believe briefly madame olga of the dominatrix sexhaus would be a better book so if anyone could lend me a time machine to go back to 1987 to demand that instead of this i would be much obliged!
March 26, 2024
Reading an account of building an escort business from 40 years ago is illuminating in ways I didn't expect. The business, as described, was built on seemingly conservative values like respect and discretion. That stands in sharp contrast to the era of big data and the attention economy, which seems more closely related to fracking than to matchmaking.
Search out those antique store titles for more surprising comparisons.
Search out those antique store titles for more surprising comparisons.
June 10, 2024
I thought I’d be reading a very salacious book seeing the title, but just like the Mayflower Madam herself said, her business was run just like a boring traditional business.
Except the gonorrhoea epidemic that happened, coupled with the fact that Cachet didn’t encourage use of condoms, which had me clutching my pearls because what in the disease did they love to catch?
All in all, this was a nice read and many can learn one or two business lessons from Sydney Biddle Barrows.
Except the gonorrhoea epidemic that happened, coupled with the fact that Cachet didn’t encourage use of condoms, which had me clutching my pearls because what in the disease did they love to catch?
All in all, this was a nice read and many can learn one or two business lessons from Sydney Biddle Barrows.
March 22, 2023
Unexpectedly, a story of a remarkable “conservative” businesswoman with a strong sense of morality operating in an overtly misogynistic field. Barrows is undeniably intelligent, personable, and downright funny.
February 6, 2019
Read it as a book club choice. Really, would not recommend it.
December 4, 2022
I read this a long time ago in the 80's and I was fascinated by her story.
August 10, 2023
A high rating because of the business story - pretty ingenious
May 9, 2024
One of my favourite "business" books, that isn't often labelled as such, about how to really understand your clients needs and creating an experience to match
July 19, 2011
Besides being poorly written, this book is just a sugar coated look at the world of prostitution. Kind of the "Pretty Woman" of literature, but not nearly as entertaining.
This book is repetitive to say the least. It seems to me that most of the descriptions of what the girls did (and to whom) was discussed over and over and over again. It got boring.
My other issue with the book is it's constant protestations that prostitution is just a business and a victimless crime. If the man is single, why should he not spend his money on a sure thing? It's his money after all. If the man is married or in a relationship his excuse is that he is too stressed at home, he cannot tell his wife the things he can tell the prostitute, and that he is searching for something that his wife (obviously too frigid) won't do. These men are faultless for anything, they're just very busy business men who want the company of a woman who asks nothing of him. I just think that's a cop out.
But so goes the book - it is what it is, a book about a woman who was busted for illegally running an escort service. The interesting parts, if they can believed, are the business strategies she used to make sure the women in her employ were safe and got paid well for their services. But again, there was this glossy fakeness to how happy and wonderful the business was. The descriptions of the escorts hanging out in the main office were described to be like slumber parties except with champagne flowing. Shopping trips to make sure all the women were dressed conservatively. Long lists of training on how to be the perfect escort. The training "transcripts" even read as being too good to be true.
Maybe that's what it really comes down to - the book's description of the business and Sidney is just too good to be true.
She's now a consultant with her very own scam-looking website where you can buy her books on how to be a better business person. http://sydneybarrows.com/
This book is repetitive to say the least. It seems to me that most of the descriptions of what the girls did (and to whom) was discussed over and over and over again. It got boring.
My other issue with the book is it's constant protestations that prostitution is just a business and a victimless crime. If the man is single, why should he not spend his money on a sure thing? It's his money after all. If the man is married or in a relationship his excuse is that he is too stressed at home, he cannot tell his wife the things he can tell the prostitute, and that he is searching for something that his wife (obviously too frigid) won't do. These men are faultless for anything, they're just very busy business men who want the company of a woman who asks nothing of him. I just think that's a cop out.
But so goes the book - it is what it is, a book about a woman who was busted for illegally running an escort service. The interesting parts, if they can believed, are the business strategies she used to make sure the women in her employ were safe and got paid well for their services. But again, there was this glossy fakeness to how happy and wonderful the business was. The descriptions of the escorts hanging out in the main office were described to be like slumber parties except with champagne flowing. Shopping trips to make sure all the women were dressed conservatively. Long lists of training on how to be the perfect escort. The training "transcripts" even read as being too good to be true.
Maybe that's what it really comes down to - the book's description of the business and Sidney is just too good to be true.
She's now a consultant with her very own scam-looking website where you can buy her books on how to be a better business person. http://sydneybarrows.com/
February 18, 2017
A fantastic book on a topic that I've never read about before. Absolutely adorable.. perhaps partly because William Novak (writer of Iacocca) helped write this book.
June 7, 2013
Read this when it first came out back in the 80's and AT THAT TIME it was near scandalous!! Now today it's an every other week occurrence of madams popping up everywhere. She was just first in publishing. Thinking of reading it again since it came up in recent conversation at a lingerie shop and, let's face it, the oldest profession never really changes does it?? Just the technology by which it is conducted. Wonder what she's doing today at around 70??
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