The Secrets Men Keep: How Men Make Life and Love Tougher Than It Has to Be

by Stephen F. Arterburn

Every man has secrets. Whether they are sinful or simply not in your best interest. . . whether you wall them off or stuff them down deep, you are not alone. But as author Stephen Arterburn warns, secrets are also the most dangerous force within a man, so finding a way to deal with the unspoken fears and questions that threaten to undo you is among your most important tasks. In this book, the author of the million-selling Every Man's Battle series courageously exposes what nearly 4,000 men like you said they think, feel and question – about themselves, their work, their marriage and family, their finances, and their faith – but don't dare to talk about. He also affirms again and again that the strength it takes to keep your secrets safe can be redirected to make a better life and a stronger you. Throughout these pages, Arterburn not only fleshes out each of twenty-five secrets but gives perspective on where those secrets come from, why they feel so important, and how to respond to them . . . to make life, love, work, and leadership easier for you and for everyone who loves you.

Genres: Christian, Christian Living, Self Help, Nonfiction

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2006

About the author

Stephen Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries—the nation's largest faith-based broadcast, counseling, and treatment ministry—and is the host of the nationally syndicated New Life Live! daily radio program aired on over 180 radio stations nationwide, Sirius XM radio, and on television. Steve is also the founder of the Women of Faith conferences, attended by over 4 million women, and of HisMatchforMe.com.
Steve is a nationally known public speaker and has been featured in national media venues such as Oprah, Inside Edition, Good Morning America, CNN Live, the New York Times, USA Today, and US News & World Report.
In August 2000, Steve was inducted into the National Speakers Association's Hall of Fame. A bestselling author, Steve has written more than one hundred books, including the popular Every Man's series and his most recent book, Healing Is a Choice. He is a Gold Medallion–winning author and has been nominated for numerous other writing awards.
Steve has degrees from Baylor University and the University of North Texas as well as two honorary doctorate degrees. Steve is a teaching pastor at Northview Church in suburban Indianapolis and resides with his family in Indiana.

Reviews

[Katherine S · Rating 2 out of 5]

skimmed a lot b/c there were so many dated statistics. it was ok nothing super interesting.

[Mark · Rating 3 out of 5]

In The Secrets that Men Keep, Stephen Arterburn asks a group of men a series of questions in the form of a survey which he then editorializes on from chapter to chapter. Topics include finances, fame, family, feelings, spirituality, relationships, and sexuality.

One problem with the book is that many of the questions seem to be relatively arbitrary or no-brainers at best. Although I am not an expert, I wonder about the accuracy of the survey and the manner in which it was conducted (sampling size, biased wording of the questions, etc.). Treatment of any given subject is somewhat superficial. Some of the topics seem to be common knowledge rather than “secrets”. And research into various topics in several instances apparently went no farther than a quick Google of a few key words.

If you can take these possible weaknesses into account and not expect deep, overly profound answers to the issues discussed in each chapter, then you may find this book to be an enjoyable read covering a wide range of topics. Chapters are short and concise. Each chapter will allow you to briefly reflect on a different area of your life. I was glad I read this book alongside some of the heavier material I was reading at the same time.

[Andrés Vera · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book briefly outlines 25 areas of life that have shown to be significant, perhaps misunderstood and for the most part secretive in men in general. Arterburn does not go into any significant detail on any of them, but he states that early on and explains his goal of broad rather than deep discussion. He talks about issues dealing with finances, relationships, emotions, sexuality, and fear in a short and concise manner. I did find some of the chapters interesting, hilarious, and helpful but others not as much and left me wondering whether or not it was less helpful for the author to hold back some important clarifications and comments. There was not a lot of research or background on some of the subjects, for a few chapters it seemed like most of what he was saying was based on a quick Google search. Overall, nothing was really surprising but it was helpful to read a lot of what he said and to read about some of the issues I have that I hadn't fully figured out yet.

[Alexis Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book, misleading title in my opinion. I was afraid the whole thing would be about porn or something (there is a chapter on that), but it was so so much more. And while the focus is primarily on men, I got a lot out of it for myself. If you are woman who is married, or would like to be married, I highly recommend. If you are a man, especially a Christian man, I think it is probably a must (or at least something your wife or girlfriend would appreciate you cracking open!).

[Todd · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book about how men make life more difficult than it has to be and why we do it. I gained some insights into my own character and it has sparked some good conversations with my wife. Arterburn has a light hearted writing style filled with entertaining stories and good points. Highly recommended!

[Paige Gordon · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a really good book about some of the insecurities that men deal with. It is more of an overview of each of the things than a really in-depth study of them, but he does give some really good suggestions for men and their wives. Definitely a worthwhile read.

[Bgordondavis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read on how men think, act, approach life and how we can change that in ways we need to.
It is one of those "a look in the mirror" books.

[Lisa Blair · Rating 5 out of 5]

The top book on understanding men!