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Pretend You're Dead and I Carry You
From the award-winning author of Fiebre Tropical, an electric, highly anticipated novel set in Colombia’s underground queer scene.
Isolated in a dreary Bogotá apartment, Ignacio’s light has dimmed, leaving his teenage daughter Valentina to raise herself in the wake of her mother’s death. Valentina longs to discover the details of her mother’s drowning and for Ignacio to snap out of his depression—his listless afternoons spent smoking cigarettes in long blonde wigs, telenovelas humming in the background, haunted by memories of the young man he loved and betrayed.
From Ignacio’s dark past emerges the luminous Mamadora Eléctrica, the wise travesti who introduced Ignacio to the city’s queer scene years prior. Stepping into a maternal role for Valentina, Mamadora fears the that Ignacio’s self-loathing may have unleashed a curse on them all. A profound and irreverent story about coming undone, Pretend You’re Dead and I Carry You affirms Julián Delgado Lopera as a brilliant and singular voice—“a writer who is grinding their own colors” (Dwight Garner, The New York Times).
Isolated in a dreary Bogotá apartment, Ignacio’s light has dimmed, leaving his teenage daughter Valentina to raise herself in the wake of her mother’s death. Valentina longs to discover the details of her mother’s drowning and for Ignacio to snap out of his depression—his listless afternoons spent smoking cigarettes in long blonde wigs, telenovelas humming in the background, haunted by memories of the young man he loved and betrayed.
From Ignacio’s dark past emerges the luminous Mamadora Eléctrica, the wise travesti who introduced Ignacio to the city’s queer scene years prior. Stepping into a maternal role for Valentina, Mamadora fears the that Ignacio’s self-loathing may have unleashed a curse on them all. A profound and irreverent story about coming undone, Pretend You’re Dead and I Carry You affirms Julián Delgado Lopera as a brilliant and singular voice—“a writer who is grinding their own colors” (Dwight Garner, The New York Times).
336 pages, Hardcover
First published May 26, 2026
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Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
the type of thing kids say while playing and you have to act like it's not terrifying.
to be fair, that title means more than it seems — this is a book about people who are pretending to be someone they're not, people who are haunted by the specter of death whether through grief or through misery.
i am no fan of multiple perspectives or multiple timelines — i feel it sets the reader up to prefer one over the other — and i was not immune to that when split between ignacio's adolescence and his daughter's.
i loved the vibrancy of this book — the scenes by the river, or in bogota's queer scene — but the darkness felt a bit less immersive. this is not a particularly light or funny read but the times when it was felt the most natural and the most compelling.
bottom line: uneven, but more good than bad.
(3.5 / thanks to the publisher for the e-arc)
to be fair, that title means more than it seems — this is a book about people who are pretending to be someone they're not, people who are haunted by the specter of death whether through grief or through misery.
i am no fan of multiple perspectives or multiple timelines — i feel it sets the reader up to prefer one over the other — and i was not immune to that when split between ignacio's adolescence and his daughter's.
i loved the vibrancy of this book — the scenes by the river, or in bogota's queer scene — but the darkness felt a bit less immersive. this is not a particularly light or funny read but the times when it was felt the most natural and the most compelling.
bottom line: uneven, but more good than bad.
(3.5 / thanks to the publisher for the e-arc)
Did Not Finish
May 25, 2026Received an advanced audiobook from netgalley
I listened to about 20% of this book before deciding that it wasn’t really for me. I think it has an interesting concept but it just wasn’t gripping me. This could easily be because of the narrators and not the book itself. I sadly don’t have access to the physical copy to try and finish so this book will the remain as a DNF for now.
If this book’s summery intrigues you, I’d say give it a shot.
I listened to about 20% of this book before deciding that it wasn’t really for me. I think it has an interesting concept but it just wasn’t gripping me. This could easily be because of the narrators and not the book itself. I sadly don’t have access to the physical copy to try and finish so this book will the remain as a DNF for now.
If this book’s summery intrigues you, I’d say give it a shot.
May 28, 2026
Thank you to NetGalley for the copy of this audiobook.
Story follows a daughter and her father in present time and flashbacks where father was around her age as they navigate their family and sexuality.
This was beautifully written albeit a bit hard to follow at least in the beginning, but that might have been just a me problem.
This has honestly exceeded my expectations
Audiobook: distinctions between two POVs/timelines is made clear and the narrators do a brilliant job making you care for the characters
Story follows a daughter and her father in present time and flashbacks where father was around her age as they navigate their family and sexuality.
This was beautifully written albeit a bit hard to follow at least in the beginning, but that might have been just a me problem.
This has honestly exceeded my expectations
Audiobook: distinctions between two POVs/timelines is made clear and the narrators do a brilliant job making you care for the characters
Did Not Finish
May 21, 2026dnfing at 32% because the audiobook is not working for me. I find it a bit too overstimulating I'm afraid. I do like the story so far though so there's a strong chance I'll pick up the digital copy when it's out officially.
Thank you Netgalley and Dreamscape Media for the alc in exchange for an honest review, I'm sorry I couldn't get to the end of it🙂
Thank you Netgalley and Dreamscape Media for the alc in exchange for an honest review, I'm sorry I couldn't get to the end of it🙂
June 3, 2026
Devastating. Thrilling.
4.5 stars.
4.5 stars.
March 5, 2026
"Set in Colombia's underground queer scene, this novel follows Valentina as she copes with her depressed father following her mother's unexpected and tragic death."
Delgado uses beautiful and hilarious prose to slowly piece together the Rodriguez family's complicated bonds and story, alternating between chapters in Valentina's present and Ignacio's past. As Ignacio's story unfolds, we get a glimpse into Latin America's expectations of masculinity and machismo, the underground drag queen scene back in the day, and the country's still deeply misogynistic mentality.
When I first started reading this book, I was unsure if I would enjoy the Spanglish writing. As the book progressed and the characters grew, I began to enjoy and love the writing. The writing makes it feel so personal, almost as if the book and I shared a secret language. Some people may find it difficult to read due to the transition from Spanish to English, but I was delighted. It felt like a friend was sending me letters, and I was immersed in their thoughts.
I believe this story has it all: there is grief, comedy, drama, and a lot of heart.
Ignacio was an unlikable character in the beginning, but the way he was portrayed and dissected made me relate to him a lot. There are many things written in the novel that I could easily say could have happened to me or someone I know, demonstrating how relatable the book is to the Latino experience. Tia Mama (not including her full government name) is one of the best characters ever written, demonstrating how Delgado took the time to give each character a point of view and voice. I adored her, and I believe she will be the character I will miss the most. I don't think this book will leave my mind for several days.
Thank you, Liveright, for the ARC. Life-changing book!!
All opinions are my own, and this is my honest review of the novel.
Delgado uses beautiful and hilarious prose to slowly piece together the Rodriguez family's complicated bonds and story, alternating between chapters in Valentina's present and Ignacio's past. As Ignacio's story unfolds, we get a glimpse into Latin America's expectations of masculinity and machismo, the underground drag queen scene back in the day, and the country's still deeply misogynistic mentality.
When I first started reading this book, I was unsure if I would enjoy the Spanglish writing. As the book progressed and the characters grew, I began to enjoy and love the writing. The writing makes it feel so personal, almost as if the book and I shared a secret language. Some people may find it difficult to read due to the transition from Spanish to English, but I was delighted. It felt like a friend was sending me letters, and I was immersed in their thoughts.
I believe this story has it all: there is grief, comedy, drama, and a lot of heart.
Ignacio was an unlikable character in the beginning, but the way he was portrayed and dissected made me relate to him a lot. There are many things written in the novel that I could easily say could have happened to me or someone I know, demonstrating how relatable the book is to the Latino experience. Tia Mama (not including her full government name) is one of the best characters ever written, demonstrating how Delgado took the time to give each character a point of view and voice. I adored her, and I believe she will be the character I will miss the most. I don't think this book will leave my mind for several days.
Thank you, Liveright, for the ARC. Life-changing book!!
All opinions are my own, and this is my honest review of the novel.
Want to Read
May 22, 2026Thank you to Liveright for the ARC! Heard nothing but good things about this one
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Substack | Bookstagram | BookTok | BookTube | Bookshop.org Store | Libro.fm Bonus Offer
June 21, 2026
It took me a long time to get into this book. I started really enjoying it at about 40%, it tought about DNF, but I'm glad I didn't because by the end, I did not want it to be done. The atmosphere and ambiance are so well described that it feels like this book really brings you somewhere else in the world. It was particularly interesting as a part of the Canadian queer community to read a story that felt so close but also so different. I'll probably buy a physical copy of this one.
One thing to note: if you speak 0 spanish, this book isn't for you. It is written in a mix of Spanish and English, and I feel it should be mentioned somewhere on the book. Of course, when reading a book set in Bogota, you expect some words or expressions, but it's a lot more than that. More like a 25/75 if not more. As someone who has an academic Spanish, it was so fun to discover adult slang, insults and queer words ( I did my own research for those, as it's assumed you understand them).
I listened to the audiobook and the narrators did an amazing job bringing this story to life!
Thank you, Netgalley and Dreamscape Media for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
One thing to note: if you speak 0 spanish, this book isn't for you. It is written in a mix of Spanish and English, and I feel it should be mentioned somewhere on the book. Of course, when reading a book set in Bogota, you expect some words or expressions, but it's a lot more than that. More like a 25/75 if not more. As someone who has an academic Spanish, it was so fun to discover adult slang, insults and queer words ( I did my own research for those, as it's assumed you understand them).
I listened to the audiobook and the narrators did an amazing job bringing this story to life!
Thank you, Netgalley and Dreamscape Media for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
April 13, 2026
Valentina feels like she is drowning in the dingy Bogota apartment she shares with her father, who has drifted deeper and deeper into depression since the passing of his wife and Valentina’s mother. Her father is cloaked in a sadness she cannot understand, one that only he himself and the group of travestis who have known him for years know. With the days slipping into an alcoholic haze of television and piling bills, Valentina feels her devastation grow as her father sinks deeper into memory.
This novel really stunned me. The writing is beautiful and fluid, deftly walking the line between the poetic and the casual. I loved the descriptions in this book: the way the apartment was portrayed as drowsy yet suffocating, the sense of liberation at the river, the dull monotony of Ignacio’s home town. I also adored the characters in this story, the way they all have their nuances and complexities that make you care about them even when they’re not entirely likable. I loved the alternating POV’s and the richness they gave to the story.
The whole novel is suffused with such a deep sense of pain, of self-loathing, loneliness and regret. It is both suffocating and captivating at the same time. This was honestly a phenomenal read, and one of my favorites of the year — I highly recommend it!
Thank you to W. W. Norton & Company and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for my fair and honest review!
This novel really stunned me. The writing is beautiful and fluid, deftly walking the line between the poetic and the casual. I loved the descriptions in this book: the way the apartment was portrayed as drowsy yet suffocating, the sense of liberation at the river, the dull monotony of Ignacio’s home town. I also adored the characters in this story, the way they all have their nuances and complexities that make you care about them even when they’re not entirely likable. I loved the alternating POV’s and the richness they gave to the story.
The whole novel is suffused with such a deep sense of pain, of self-loathing, loneliness and regret. It is both suffocating and captivating at the same time. This was honestly a phenomenal read, and one of my favorites of the year — I highly recommend it!
Thank you to W. W. Norton & Company and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for my fair and honest review!
May 31, 2026
This story was both heartbreaking and beautiful. This story was filled with beautiful prose, out loud laughs, and devastating moments. At times it felt like a warm hug and being embraced by others and then there were moments where you just want to cry.
This is a must read and experience type of novel. The audio was done so beautifully and there was something so comforting about the seamless switching between Spanish and English. I loved that this book showed up authentically as what it was, with no translations needed. It conveyed depth and felt alive in a way I can't describe. I highly recommend the audio as the voice acting was superb and just added so much texture and depth. With the voices shinning through. It felt like I was sitting around the fire listening to someone share history.
If you love diving into deep family lore and trying to understand how people's lives are impacted this is a story to do that with. I don't want to give anything away, its worth the experience, the depth, and the nod to culture and what has been lost and what can be found. Thank you to the publisher for providing an ALC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
This is a must read and experience type of novel. The audio was done so beautifully and there was something so comforting about the seamless switching between Spanish and English. I loved that this book showed up authentically as what it was, with no translations needed. It conveyed depth and felt alive in a way I can't describe. I highly recommend the audio as the voice acting was superb and just added so much texture and depth. With the voices shinning through. It felt like I was sitting around the fire listening to someone share history.
If you love diving into deep family lore and trying to understand how people's lives are impacted this is a story to do that with. I don't want to give anything away, its worth the experience, the depth, and the nod to culture and what has been lost and what can be found. Thank you to the publisher for providing an ALC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
June 3, 2026
Whoa this was a wild ride! The story followed a young girl and her dad after her mom died. The dad is depresso but also gay& flamboyant. He has a whole gay family complete with drag queens that help him raise his daughter. It was crazy to think how many men have a whole secret (or not so secret) life while having a whole ass family. The book was part of a reading challenge which is how i came across it. I wouldnt have picked it on my own but it wasn’t a bad read! I loved the culture and the characters were fabulous and fun 🤩
June 27, 2026
I was looking for a good book and I found a GREAT ONE! loved the LGBTQ+ in this book, I resonated with characters and saw my family in other characters.
June 27, 2026
I genuinely, warmly loved this book. It's so layered and I deeply enjoyed the characters, especially Valentina.
May 26, 2026
The book was beautifully written and very descriptive. I was lost at points throughout, however. The plot and narration between characters didn’t seem to connect and left me confused.
July 9, 2026
It is such a privilege to be gay and supported and to have a community that loves you.
May 31, 2026
‼️ Pretend You’re Dead and I Carry You” IS A DEVASTATINGLY UNDERRATED MASTERPIECE‼️
Jane the Virgin style narration of a Colombian boy circa 1990’s whose love of “feminine” things was squashed until he learned to wear an “imposing macho carcus” to keep himself safe. “Hiding is a means of survival, nena.”
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
5 stars
The glamorous way the author describes the book’s Queens 👑 is JOYFUL 💃🏻🪩🧑🏽🩰🪅🎤🌈👒👗 💄💋 🎊🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Bogota - 1990s - @ secret night club 🇨🇴 🌃:
“For a few hours, the working muchacho lived the girl dream—feeling the fantasy”
👠 They STRUT
🪮 They SWAY their synthetic hair like ANGELS 🪽
🧨 Exploding💥 with sass & confidence
💅🏾 Dainty nails & limp wrists sipping tea 🫖— 😮💨 finally getting THE RELIEF of putting down the weight of the society’s judgement 😮💨
📺 Acting like they were starring in their own telenovelas [sitcoms] 🎬
🌫️🌩️ B U T : ⛈️
🕯️“The Queens who refuse their destiny are haunted 👻”
🌊 by the curse of the river 🌊
🕯️They risk “CALCIFIED GRIEF”
The grief of denying an essential part of themselves 👑 never goes away. It hardens.
🕯️ “Accept & mary shame” 🕯️
This story is woven with religious metaphors, which reflects the deeply tangled roots of Catholicism in post-Colonialism Colombia.
This is a cautionary tale of the corrosive nature of shame. Shame corrodes on an individual, familial and societal level. And why shame what we should be celebrating? 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
~
Audio feedback: The narrator adds so much sparkle to the story!! 🥹. Am I listening to a devastating cautionary tale.. or locked in while my 👑 Tia tells me delicious chisme ☕️ ? Both! 💋 Bilingual Spanish-English reader’s dream - lots of fun “Spanglish” terms.
Thank you to NetGalley & Dreamscape Media for a free Advanced Listener Copy (ALC) of this title in exchange for my honest review.
Jane the Virgin style narration of a Colombian boy circa 1990’s whose love of “feminine” things was squashed until he learned to wear an “imposing macho carcus” to keep himself safe. “Hiding is a means of survival, nena.”
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
5 stars
The glamorous way the author describes the book’s Queens 👑 is JOYFUL 💃🏻🪩🧑🏽🩰🪅🎤🌈👒👗 💄💋 🎊🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Bogota - 1990s - @ secret night club 🇨🇴 🌃:
“For a few hours, the working muchacho lived the girl dream—feeling the fantasy”
👠 They STRUT
🪮 They SWAY their synthetic hair like ANGELS 🪽
🧨 Exploding💥 with sass & confidence
💅🏾 Dainty nails & limp wrists sipping tea 🫖— 😮💨 finally getting THE RELIEF of putting down the weight of the society’s judgement 😮💨
📺 Acting like they were starring in their own telenovelas [sitcoms] 🎬
🌫️🌩️ B U T : ⛈️
🕯️“The Queens who refuse their destiny are haunted 👻”
🌊 by the curse of the river 🌊
🕯️They risk “CALCIFIED GRIEF”
The grief of denying an essential part of themselves 👑 never goes away. It hardens.
🕯️ “Accept & mary shame” 🕯️
This story is woven with religious metaphors, which reflects the deeply tangled roots of Catholicism in post-Colonialism Colombia.
This is a cautionary tale of the corrosive nature of shame. Shame corrodes on an individual, familial and societal level. And why shame what we should be celebrating? 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
~
Audio feedback: The narrator adds so much sparkle to the story!! 🥹. Am I listening to a devastating cautionary tale.. or locked in while my 👑 Tia tells me delicious chisme ☕️ ? Both! 💋 Bilingual Spanish-English reader’s dream - lots of fun “Spanglish” terms.
Thank you to NetGalley & Dreamscape Media for a free Advanced Listener Copy (ALC) of this title in exchange for my honest review.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I enjoyed inhabiting Pretend You're Dead and I Carry You by Julián Delgado Lopera, set somewhere between Bogotá 1990 and wherever grief goes when it has nowhere left to travel.
Narrators Lee Osorio and Maria McCann embodied it with gusto and great vocal energy. They master the characters in their complexity, colouring each one with real detail and distinction.
We follow father and daughter Ignacio and Valentina as they navigate loss, depression, and the weight of a queerness neither of them fully understands as inheritance. The book opens in the present, where Valentina is largely fending for herself, dealing with grief and depression. Her mother has drowned in circumstances that don't quite add up, and her father Ignacio has all but disappeared into himself, surrounded by rotting houseplants, lost in what Lopera calls the olvido, oblivion. The television flickers constantly, a strange and hypnotic presence in the household. It's through telenovelas, specifically the melodramatic Rios de Vida Rios de Muerte, that Valentina begins to piece together what actually happened to her mother. Happiness is a choice, the TV instructs cheerfully. Choose to be happy, set your mind free. The gap between that and Valentina's actual life is where much of the novel's dark humour lives.
The mix of English and Spanish is so refreshing and both narrators handle it with total confidence. I could close my eyes and I was there in Bogotá 1990, eating arroz con pollo, drinking aguardiente, watching telenovelas with Valentina and Jesse. It was never a distraction. It actually augmented the experience.
Ignacio's chapters move between his present stupor and his past at Club Aquario, Bogotá's underground gathering place for queer and trans people to live out their truths. He lives in stories the way some people live in drink, seeking escape and salvation in equal measure. One story in particular keeps returning: a man who dressed as a woman, was beaten by men for it, refused to die, and came back as a bird. It sounds like myth, and it is, but it also functions as prophecy. Ignacio would never let anyone see his tears. But the cows the prose offers at one point, and somehow that incomplete, elliptical tenderness tells you everything about him. His self-loathing runs deep, rooted in the boy he loved and abandoned at Club Aquario, and the novel suggests that this rejection of his own queer self has consequences that don't end with him.
When Valentina is drunk on aguardiente with her friend Jesse, she says: Papi would chain me to this bed and have us watch telenovelas for the rest of our lives. It's funny and devastating simultaneously. Jesse knows when Valentina isn't fully present; on those days she announces herself with a phrase that functions almost as weather: hoy soy puro Rio Magdalena, today I am pure Magdalena river. The twilight hour, the in-between time for the living and the dead, hangs over everything.
Anchoring it all is Tía Mama, a travesti matriarch (travesti being a Latin American term that imperfectly translates to "transfeminine people") who steps in to care for Valentina when Ignacio cannot. She is based on Lopera's own trans mother, Adela Vasquez, a Cuban immigrant who died two years ago and who was in his life for almost fifteen years. Her presence in the novel is enormous: practical, warm, and fiercely protective. The Rodriguez family's complicated bonds are held together as much by her as by blood.
“Mi Cielo, we all carry the weight of our doings and the weight of our doings is nothing but layered pain. But can you blame anyone for trying to run away from pain. Can you blame anyone for wanting to be loved? "
What Lopera does brilliantly is refuse to frame queerness as tragedy or deviation. Instead it's lineage, intergenerational destiny rather than family curse. The novel reaches back 500 years to the first trans people recorded in the Americas, thrown into the Magdalena River by Spanish colonisers, and insists those people are ancestors. That the current living and the historical dead are connected by something more than metaphor. "How do we call that an ancestral lineage?" Lopera has asked in interviews, speaking about transness and bloodlines. His answer is that we have one. A very strong connection to it. The book is built around that conviction.
It's also, and this matters, very funny. "Life is not a Kiki" is the kind of line (and chapter title) that lodges in your brain and stays there. "Category is: testosterone gone bad" is another. Indicating the drag queen language influence in Lopera's prose, which is both striking and indelible, full of turns of phrase that arrive like small shocks.
Now, back to the Spanglish, because it deserves its own moment. Some readers may find the transition between English and Spanish disorienting, but I was completely elated by it. The Spanish words are peppered throughout, never explained, never used as a device to signal difference. Lopera treats Spanglish the way you would treat French or Italian, as simply the language these characters speak, carrying its own textures and registers. It is amazingly lyrical. The Spanish words created atmosphere and made me feel immersed in a way that straight English prose simply couldn't have achieved.
It's not a happy book, and it doesn't pretend to be. The grief is genuine, the cultural homophobia is violent, the self-loathing that passes from generation to generation is heavy and specific. But it arrives somewhere. Not resolution exactly, more like the particular peace of understanding where the weight came from.
Highly recommended, especially on audio, If you dare.
Huge thanks to Dreamscape media for the alc
#pudseyrecommends
Narrators Lee Osorio and Maria McCann embodied it with gusto and great vocal energy. They master the characters in their complexity, colouring each one with real detail and distinction.
We follow father and daughter Ignacio and Valentina as they navigate loss, depression, and the weight of a queerness neither of them fully understands as inheritance. The book opens in the present, where Valentina is largely fending for herself, dealing with grief and depression. Her mother has drowned in circumstances that don't quite add up, and her father Ignacio has all but disappeared into himself, surrounded by rotting houseplants, lost in what Lopera calls the olvido, oblivion. The television flickers constantly, a strange and hypnotic presence in the household. It's through telenovelas, specifically the melodramatic Rios de Vida Rios de Muerte, that Valentina begins to piece together what actually happened to her mother. Happiness is a choice, the TV instructs cheerfully. Choose to be happy, set your mind free. The gap between that and Valentina's actual life is where much of the novel's dark humour lives.
The mix of English and Spanish is so refreshing and both narrators handle it with total confidence. I could close my eyes and I was there in Bogotá 1990, eating arroz con pollo, drinking aguardiente, watching telenovelas with Valentina and Jesse. It was never a distraction. It actually augmented the experience.
Ignacio's chapters move between his present stupor and his past at Club Aquario, Bogotá's underground gathering place for queer and trans people to live out their truths. He lives in stories the way some people live in drink, seeking escape and salvation in equal measure. One story in particular keeps returning: a man who dressed as a woman, was beaten by men for it, refused to die, and came back as a bird. It sounds like myth, and it is, but it also functions as prophecy. Ignacio would never let anyone see his tears. But the cows the prose offers at one point, and somehow that incomplete, elliptical tenderness tells you everything about him. His self-loathing runs deep, rooted in the boy he loved and abandoned at Club Aquario, and the novel suggests that this rejection of his own queer self has consequences that don't end with him.
When Valentina is drunk on aguardiente with her friend Jesse, she says: Papi would chain me to this bed and have us watch telenovelas for the rest of our lives. It's funny and devastating simultaneously. Jesse knows when Valentina isn't fully present; on those days she announces herself with a phrase that functions almost as weather: hoy soy puro Rio Magdalena, today I am pure Magdalena river. The twilight hour, the in-between time for the living and the dead, hangs over everything.
Anchoring it all is Tía Mama, a travesti matriarch (travesti being a Latin American term that imperfectly translates to "transfeminine people") who steps in to care for Valentina when Ignacio cannot. She is based on Lopera's own trans mother, Adela Vasquez, a Cuban immigrant who died two years ago and who was in his life for almost fifteen years. Her presence in the novel is enormous: practical, warm, and fiercely protective. The Rodriguez family's complicated bonds are held together as much by her as by blood.
“Mi Cielo, we all carry the weight of our doings and the weight of our doings is nothing but layered pain. But can you blame anyone for trying to run away from pain. Can you blame anyone for wanting to be loved? "
What Lopera does brilliantly is refuse to frame queerness as tragedy or deviation. Instead it's lineage, intergenerational destiny rather than family curse. The novel reaches back 500 years to the first trans people recorded in the Americas, thrown into the Magdalena River by Spanish colonisers, and insists those people are ancestors. That the current living and the historical dead are connected by something more than metaphor. "How do we call that an ancestral lineage?" Lopera has asked in interviews, speaking about transness and bloodlines. His answer is that we have one. A very strong connection to it. The book is built around that conviction.
It's also, and this matters, very funny. "Life is not a Kiki" is the kind of line (and chapter title) that lodges in your brain and stays there. "Category is: testosterone gone bad" is another. Indicating the drag queen language influence in Lopera's prose, which is both striking and indelible, full of turns of phrase that arrive like small shocks.
Now, back to the Spanglish, because it deserves its own moment. Some readers may find the transition between English and Spanish disorienting, but I was completely elated by it. The Spanish words are peppered throughout, never explained, never used as a device to signal difference. Lopera treats Spanglish the way you would treat French or Italian, as simply the language these characters speak, carrying its own textures and registers. It is amazingly lyrical. The Spanish words created atmosphere and made me feel immersed in a way that straight English prose simply couldn't have achieved.
It's not a happy book, and it doesn't pretend to be. The grief is genuine, the cultural homophobia is violent, the self-loathing that passes from generation to generation is heavy and specific. But it arrives somewhere. Not resolution exactly, more like the particular peace of understanding where the weight came from.
Highly recommended, especially on audio, If you dare.
Huge thanks to Dreamscape media for the alc
#pudseyrecommends
June 8, 2026
This beguiling book blew me away. We (the readers) are transported back and forth between two main characters (Ignacio the father and Valentina the daughter) and their place in time, past or present. The book is set in Colombia. Ignacio loves to cross dress. This is suspect in machismo culture. It broke my heart that he was hiding out and only being his real self with certain people. Felipe was his friend and lover when he was a young teen. What happened to Felipe (and Ignacio’s role in it) was an absolute heartbreaker. Valentina is growing into her sexuality and falls hard for Jesi. Jesi rejects her and that is also an absolute heartbreaker. The end of the book is freeing and made me cry. I cried a few times while reading this novel. It was cathartic!
I just think of how many people, in all cultures, don’t feel able to be their true selves and I find that very, very, very sad.
There is Spanish in this book. I found it easy to catch on to the meanings and occasionally would grab the dictionary. The style of writing was very inventive. At times, there were run-on sentences without punctuation in both English and Spanish. I found this word play poetic.
There is sexual experimentation in this book. And it was not gratuitous. I felt that it really emphasized the ongoing confusion of both characters—wondering who they were, wondering who they could emulate around them. There is a fantastic subplot whereby both Ignacio and Valentina both adore a gorgeous model and TV broadcaster named Natalia. They find her to be very strong. When she reveals her humanity (under duress) it is a shock but also a lesson.
I love magical realism in a story. In this case, Ignacio starts to grow feathers and begins transformation into a bird.
The title refers to when Ignacio was teaching Valentina how to float in water. But the title works on many more levels throughout the book.
There is a QR code for a Spotify playlist at the end of the book. I listened to the songs, and they were terrific (some in Spanish and some in English).
p.232/33 (About Tia Mama, my favorite character) Smoker of Marlboro Reds, cook of the best arroz con pollo, lover of old Hollywood movies, and hoarder of love. Octopus mother that won’t let go. With each tentacle Tia Mama wraps herself around each of her children, including her only grandchild, Valentina. With each tentacle she forces her love, including this slap on the face. See Tia Mama here: picking up Valentina from school when Papi had gone missing. Watching telenovas for months nestled with Valentina right after Alma died and Valentina was too afraid to sleep. Tia Mama on New Year’s Eve at her farm in Girardot twirling to the beats of Radio Candela in a floral dress, index fingers reaching toward the sky like two exclamation points. Tia Mama amid the chaos of a busy street blocking a truck after the driver yelled some nasty shit to her, fearless Tia Mama facing down the truck, her small Renault a fortress of determination. Wielding a club, Tia Mama defending herself in five-inch pumps and two-inch nails. In Valentina’s heart, Tia Mama is fearlessness, she is deep asphyxiating amor.
p.319 (Love this because Valentina is understanding how she is like her father.)
A sleep with no dreams no calls a sleep that’s more of a death. Giving up everything to meet God, the God of the river, the boy-looking girl with a piece of the river in her. Surrendering to the current of the Magalena. Valentina wonders if this surrendering is what Papi does each day, submitting to this other side, a dream place where life is rearranged, where the past hurts differently.
I just think of how many people, in all cultures, don’t feel able to be their true selves and I find that very, very, very sad.
There is Spanish in this book. I found it easy to catch on to the meanings and occasionally would grab the dictionary. The style of writing was very inventive. At times, there were run-on sentences without punctuation in both English and Spanish. I found this word play poetic.
There is sexual experimentation in this book. And it was not gratuitous. I felt that it really emphasized the ongoing confusion of both characters—wondering who they were, wondering who they could emulate around them. There is a fantastic subplot whereby both Ignacio and Valentina both adore a gorgeous model and TV broadcaster named Natalia. They find her to be very strong. When she reveals her humanity (under duress) it is a shock but also a lesson.
I love magical realism in a story. In this case, Ignacio starts to grow feathers and begins transformation into a bird.
The title refers to when Ignacio was teaching Valentina how to float in water. But the title works on many more levels throughout the book.
There is a QR code for a Spotify playlist at the end of the book. I listened to the songs, and they were terrific (some in Spanish and some in English).
p.232/33 (About Tia Mama, my favorite character) Smoker of Marlboro Reds, cook of the best arroz con pollo, lover of old Hollywood movies, and hoarder of love. Octopus mother that won’t let go. With each tentacle Tia Mama wraps herself around each of her children, including her only grandchild, Valentina. With each tentacle she forces her love, including this slap on the face. See Tia Mama here: picking up Valentina from school when Papi had gone missing. Watching telenovas for months nestled with Valentina right after Alma died and Valentina was too afraid to sleep. Tia Mama on New Year’s Eve at her farm in Girardot twirling to the beats of Radio Candela in a floral dress, index fingers reaching toward the sky like two exclamation points. Tia Mama amid the chaos of a busy street blocking a truck after the driver yelled some nasty shit to her, fearless Tia Mama facing down the truck, her small Renault a fortress of determination. Wielding a club, Tia Mama defending herself in five-inch pumps and two-inch nails. In Valentina’s heart, Tia Mama is fearlessness, she is deep asphyxiating amor.
p.319 (Love this because Valentina is understanding how she is like her father.)
A sleep with no dreams no calls a sleep that’s more of a death. Giving up everything to meet God, the God of the river, the boy-looking girl with a piece of the river in her. Surrendering to the current of the Magalena. Valentina wonders if this surrendering is what Papi does each day, submitting to this other side, a dream place where life is rearranged, where the past hurts differently.
June 21, 2026
Thank you to NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for this ALC!
“Pretend You’re Dead and I Carry You” tells the story of two people: Teenaged Valentina and her Travesti father Ignacio, as they deal with their grief in the aftermath of the death of Valentina’s mother.
Valentina has to deal not only with the usual teenage growing pains and her own grief over her mother’s sudden passing, but also handle everything in their home as her father has grown near catatonic in his grief.
Ignacio’s POV tells us of his past, growing up a repressed country boy, finding himself, finding love, and how it all comes crashing down.
I’m a big fan of stories dealing with repressed queer youth having to come to terms with who they are, so I really enjoyed the chapters telling us the story of Ignacio’s past. A little bit silly, a little bit nasty, a lot of angst.
Valentina isn't exactly the kind of character I can relate to, but she is just so intensely likable that you can’t help but want to reach inside the book and hug her, fix things for her.
I also thought the depiction of Colombia’s underground queer scene and of the community of Travesti that surrounds Valentina and Ignacio was both new to me and therefore very interesting, but also just generally lovely to read about.
I must admit I did not see the ending coming at all, but this possibly controversial choice fit wonderfully into the vibe of the book, and I really enjoyed both the idea and execution of it.
Honestly, I find this book hard to describe. While I did enjoy the book and I did glimpse that there was more to uncover, I also felt that the story was told in a way that was a bit too disjointed for me to really grasp fully, partially also because of listening to this book rather than reading it, so the reading experience was somewhat chaotic.
I thought the audiobook itself was wonderfully done, with the two different characters performed by Lee Osorio and Maria McCann respectively, who did an amazing job bringing these characters to life. I just felt that this book is maybe better experienced visually, which I feel might help the reader feel a bit less disoriented. Still, if you prefer audiobooks, I think you can absolutely have a good time with this one anyway.
If you like stories that let you look deeply into someone else’s life, experiencing queer culture which possibly differs from yours, and familial relationships both born into and chosen, I think you could really enjoy this book.
“Pretend You’re Dead and I Carry You” tells the story of two people: Teenaged Valentina and her Travesti father Ignacio, as they deal with their grief in the aftermath of the death of Valentina’s mother.
Valentina has to deal not only with the usual teenage growing pains and her own grief over her mother’s sudden passing, but also handle everything in their home as her father has grown near catatonic in his grief.
Ignacio’s POV tells us of his past, growing up a repressed country boy, finding himself, finding love, and how it all comes crashing down.
I’m a big fan of stories dealing with repressed queer youth having to come to terms with who they are, so I really enjoyed the chapters telling us the story of Ignacio’s past. A little bit silly, a little bit nasty, a lot of angst.
Valentina isn't exactly the kind of character I can relate to, but she is just so intensely likable that you can’t help but want to reach inside the book and hug her, fix things for her.
I also thought the depiction of Colombia’s underground queer scene and of the community of Travesti that surrounds Valentina and Ignacio was both new to me and therefore very interesting, but also just generally lovely to read about.
I must admit I did not see the ending coming at all, but this possibly controversial choice fit wonderfully into the vibe of the book, and I really enjoyed both the idea and execution of it.
Honestly, I find this book hard to describe. While I did enjoy the book and I did glimpse that there was more to uncover, I also felt that the story was told in a way that was a bit too disjointed for me to really grasp fully, partially also because of listening to this book rather than reading it, so the reading experience was somewhat chaotic.
I thought the audiobook itself was wonderfully done, with the two different characters performed by Lee Osorio and Maria McCann respectively, who did an amazing job bringing these characters to life. I just felt that this book is maybe better experienced visually, which I feel might help the reader feel a bit less disoriented. Still, if you prefer audiobooks, I think you can absolutely have a good time with this one anyway.
If you like stories that let you look deeply into someone else’s life, experiencing queer culture which possibly differs from yours, and familial relationships both born into and chosen, I think you could really enjoy this book.
May 28, 2026
Thank you Liveright & Deamscape for the #gifted copy in exchange for an honest review! #TheNortonFlock
Valentina is raising herself in a dreary Bogotá apartment. Her mother died, and since then her father, Ignacio, has become even more withdrawn. Valentina is hoping that he snaps out of his depression, but he instead spends his afternoons smoking cigarettes, watching telenovelas, wearing a long blonde wig, and reliving haunting memories of a young man he both loved and betrayed. Enter Mamadora Eléctrica, a wise travesti from Ignacio’s past to step into the maternal role for Valentina. Mamadora fears that Ignacio’s past may have unleashed a curse on them all.
Y’all I went into this book openminded, and left absolutely blown away. It’s an emotionally gripping, beautifully written story of queerness in the underbelly of Bogotá. Richly layered with dual POVs and dual timelines, and glimpses into travesti culture. This is already one of my favorite books of 2026, with unforgettable characters leading unforgettable yet melancholic lives. Lee Osorio & Maria McCann provide narration that is so transportive, I felt like I was next to Valentina in the river or stuck in a deep depression next to Ignacio. Julián Delgado Lopera’s writing is so poignant, expertly blending the tragic and the triumph for an authentically queer and authentically Latine experience. I could not put this book down and I’m already looking forward to reading it again - I can’t recommend it enough!
Reviewed as part of an #ARC from the publisher and #NetGalley.
Read this book if you:
💊 swear by the healing power of Vick’s VapoRub
💪🏻 were ever told “toughen up” or “just be a man”
🎥 want the queer coming-of-age vibes of Y tu mamá también or El Secreto del Río
Follow me on Instagram for more book reviews!
Valentina is raising herself in a dreary Bogotá apartment. Her mother died, and since then her father, Ignacio, has become even more withdrawn. Valentina is hoping that he snaps out of his depression, but he instead spends his afternoons smoking cigarettes, watching telenovelas, wearing a long blonde wig, and reliving haunting memories of a young man he both loved and betrayed. Enter Mamadora Eléctrica, a wise travesti from Ignacio’s past to step into the maternal role for Valentina. Mamadora fears that Ignacio’s past may have unleashed a curse on them all.
Y’all I went into this book openminded, and left absolutely blown away. It’s an emotionally gripping, beautifully written story of queerness in the underbelly of Bogotá. Richly layered with dual POVs and dual timelines, and glimpses into travesti culture. This is already one of my favorite books of 2026, with unforgettable characters leading unforgettable yet melancholic lives. Lee Osorio & Maria McCann provide narration that is so transportive, I felt like I was next to Valentina in the river or stuck in a deep depression next to Ignacio. Julián Delgado Lopera’s writing is so poignant, expertly blending the tragic and the triumph for an authentically queer and authentically Latine experience. I could not put this book down and I’m already looking forward to reading it again - I can’t recommend it enough!
Reviewed as part of an #ARC from the publisher and #NetGalley.
Read this book if you:
💊 swear by the healing power of Vick’s VapoRub
💪🏻 were ever told “toughen up” or “just be a man”
🎥 want the queer coming-of-age vibes of Y tu mamá también or El Secreto del Río
Follow me on Instagram for more book reviews!
July 21, 2026
I was drawn to this book because of its evocative title, intriguing cover, and relevance to the most intellectually stimulating Spanish literature course I ever took years ago as an undergrad. It was because of that course, taught by a Colombian man, that I was able to somewhat keep my feet amidst this maelstrom of a novel. I read the phrase “tacón y cuchillo” (heels and knife), and was immediately put back into my hard-earned mental framework of analysis from that course, and I initially had some very high hopes for this. However, I don’t think this quite landed for me. We never really got to see the character of Ignacio at any sort of high point, so it was hard to get a grasp on him and understand exactly why Mamadora Eléctrica had become so devoted to him. I feel bad about saying this about la pobre Valentina, but I think the story would have been served a little better by a linear storyline following Ignacio as he ages and finds his family and then falls, rather than having Valentina be a focus. I will also warn incoming readers that I do not think this book can be fully enjoyed or appreciated unless you speak Spanish. You won’t necessarily be lost if you don’t understand the Spanish, but you will be missing a lot, and some of the most beautiful writing. For example, fairly early on is the passage: “Los días pasan entre el murmullo de la televisión y el sonido del teléfono que nunca contestan. The days pass like this smelling of ketchup, saliva, olvido.” This is evocative, descriptive, somewhat unsettling writing, and it is unabashedly bilingual. I’m glad I read this, even if I have my nitpicks about structure, pacing, and the fact that I had to read the phrase “succulent man juice” 🤢. I wish I could recommend it to that old professor of mine, but I would hesitate to recommend it much more widely than that.
June 9, 2026
The audio book was phenomenal. The narrators had me in the story from the beginning. The integration of Spanish into this story was highlighted by the narrators. And it really rooted the story in its setting of Columbia. The audio book felt queer and Columbian.
This book is so many things that a review is insufficient.
There is a a dual narrative, with two stories told of our main characters, Ignacio, in his youth in his little town. Valentina, Ignacio’s daughter, at 12, the same age we start following Ignacio. These tales are queer and loaded with grief, depression and very little hope.
With Ignacio’s tale, we touch up on the treatment of queer people in a smaller town Columbia in the past. The machoism of men. The toxicity of proving to be straight manly man. Wanting approval from his own father, and the men surrounding him, but never fitting in. Never being what they want him to be, but trying his hardest non the less.
We also meet Filipe, a boy his own age, with purple short shorts and painted nails. The boys exploring their friendships, their queerness. Playing pretend and making Ignacio live as his true self just for a few hours at time with Filipe.
Valentina is queer in her own way, but that is not the main point of her tale, It is dealing with Ignacio, her only parent, her very depressed father. Her mother died a couple of years ago. Her tale is coated in grief, her apartment is layered in dust. Ignacio is failing her as a father. Failing to notice and care for his daughter. Valentina’s own depression rising, and swimming and taking over her as she contains to struggle to wake Ignacio from his slumber.
I cannot wait to read more works by the author in the future!
Review of advance copy received from Edelweiss+
What are the horrors of machismo, the tragedy of patriarchism, the violence of misogyny and homophobia and religion? This book dives into questions like these and more, talks about them with the needed nuance. At the heart of the book, this is a story about grief and loss and how that can not only shape a person but also the bonds with other people. Ignacio falls into a state of depression after Alma dies and then we follow him and his daughter Valentina and see how the loss of their wife and mother respectively affects them. It's such an intricate exploration of generational trauma, the effects of depression, how trauma affects the bonds between a parent and their child, the brutality of internalised homophobia and heteronormativity and so much more.
Structurally, this book is beyond well crafted. We shift between the point of view of Ignacio and Valentina, but as the story progresses, we shift between timelines and points of view and as everything intermingles, the story takes on a more hazy and disorienting feeling. There's a lot of Spanglish, which initially slowed me down, but after a while made everything feel even more immersive.
The author really managed to create such a strong atmosphere, I felt like I was walking on the streets of Bogota myself, watching the characters and experiencing everything alongside them. The stifling heat of colombian summers, the dingy and suffocating apartment, the oppressive feeling of this small colombian town, it all felt too real. But under this layer you quickly find the warmth of the colombian culture, of travesti community and families, of motherly love and friendship which is all described with so much love.
Structurally, this book is beyond well crafted. We shift between the point of view of Ignacio and Valentina, but as the story progresses, we shift between timelines and points of view and as everything intermingles, the story takes on a more hazy and disorienting feeling. There's a lot of Spanglish, which initially slowed me down, but after a while made everything feel even more immersive.
The author really managed to create such a strong atmosphere, I felt like I was walking on the streets of Bogota myself, watching the characters and experiencing everything alongside them. The stifling heat of colombian summers, the dingy and suffocating apartment, the oppressive feeling of this small colombian town, it all felt too real. But under this layer you quickly find the warmth of the colombian culture, of travesti community and families, of motherly love and friendship which is all described with so much love.
July 17, 2026
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
Pretend You’re Dead and I Carry You is a poignant, vibrant literary fiction novel.
Oh, how I loved this one. From the first page, Julián Delgado Lopera swept me away with his vivid, cinematic, emotional, and welcoming prose. Filled with Spanglish and a thoughtful exploration of Latine culture and family, Lopera made me feel at home. The story also beautifully explored Colombia’s underground queer scene, presenting it with emotion, joy, pride, and vibrancy. The settings were incredibly immersive; I felt as though I were right there with the characters. The cast was excellent, comprising well-developed and compelling characters whom I loved from the start. The various character relationships were fantastic, and I especially enjoyed the focus on Valentina and Ignacio’s father-daughter dynamic. The story is told through multiple perspectives and timelines, both of which were wonderfully developed and added lovely depth to the story. The story was light at times and heavy at others, powerfully handling grief, depression, hope, change, joy, belonging, and home. The plot was propulsive, and the pacing was engaging. Honest and earnest, Pretend You’re Dead and I Carry You blends history and culture with a pinch of magical realism to craft a raw, bold, and ultimately hopeful novel. I highly recommend this incredible read!
Lee Osorio and Maria McCann were phenomenal narrators. Their voices captured the characters, emotion, energy, and atmosphere beautifully. I highly recommend the audiobook!
Thank you to the publisher for the free ALC and review copy!
Pretend You’re Dead and I Carry You is a poignant, vibrant literary fiction novel.
Oh, how I loved this one. From the first page, Julián Delgado Lopera swept me away with his vivid, cinematic, emotional, and welcoming prose. Filled with Spanglish and a thoughtful exploration of Latine culture and family, Lopera made me feel at home. The story also beautifully explored Colombia’s underground queer scene, presenting it with emotion, joy, pride, and vibrancy. The settings were incredibly immersive; I felt as though I were right there with the characters. The cast was excellent, comprising well-developed and compelling characters whom I loved from the start. The various character relationships were fantastic, and I especially enjoyed the focus on Valentina and Ignacio’s father-daughter dynamic. The story is told through multiple perspectives and timelines, both of which were wonderfully developed and added lovely depth to the story. The story was light at times and heavy at others, powerfully handling grief, depression, hope, change, joy, belonging, and home. The plot was propulsive, and the pacing was engaging. Honest and earnest, Pretend You’re Dead and I Carry You blends history and culture with a pinch of magical realism to craft a raw, bold, and ultimately hopeful novel. I highly recommend this incredible read!
Lee Osorio and Maria McCann were phenomenal narrators. Their voices captured the characters, emotion, energy, and atmosphere beautifully. I highly recommend the audiobook!
Thank you to the publisher for the free ALC and review copy!
Review of advance copy received from Edelweiss+
“The past is a heartbreaker. A very experienced fuckboy. Always around the corner, waiting.”
Ain’t it the truth, though?
The novel is beautiful, and there is so much movement in the writing. It is written in a fun, flowy, sometimes jittery way littered with Spanglish that almost sings its way off the page. The writing reads as a bouncy-like comedy despite the heavy subjects of grief, shame, self-hatred, homophobia, and violence. It was like a ball bouncing on my chest while someone heavy sat on me.
I have never read anything quite like this, in a good way. I can already hear a lot of English speakers complaining about the lack of internal translation for the not-small amount of Spanish but you know what? Get a translating dictionary or Google it. Do a little work, if you must know exactly what each word says. Otherwise, take the book how it was intended — a rapid fire brain throwing out all the thoughts that you could totally understand using contextual clues if you wanted to. I loved it. 4.25 stars
Thank you to Liveright, Dreamscape Media, Julián Delgado Lopera (author), Edelweiss, and Libro.fm for the digital review copy and advance audiobook copy of Pretend You’re Dead and I Carry You (narrated by Lee Osario and Maria McCann). Their generosity did not influence my review in any way.
Ain’t it the truth, though?
The novel is beautiful, and there is so much movement in the writing. It is written in a fun, flowy, sometimes jittery way littered with Spanglish that almost sings its way off the page. The writing reads as a bouncy-like comedy despite the heavy subjects of grief, shame, self-hatred, homophobia, and violence. It was like a ball bouncing on my chest while someone heavy sat on me.
I have never read anything quite like this, in a good way. I can already hear a lot of English speakers complaining about the lack of internal translation for the not-small amount of Spanish but you know what? Get a translating dictionary or Google it. Do a little work, if you must know exactly what each word says. Otherwise, take the book how it was intended — a rapid fire brain throwing out all the thoughts that you could totally understand using contextual clues if you wanted to. I loved it. 4.25 stars
Thank you to Liveright, Dreamscape Media, Julián Delgado Lopera (author), Edelweiss, and Libro.fm for the digital review copy and advance audiobook copy of Pretend You’re Dead and I Carry You (narrated by Lee Osario and Maria McCann). Their generosity did not influence my review in any way.
July 11, 2026
What a magical, but realistic, hilarious, but heartbreaking, tragic, but uplifting and unique book. I haven't read anything like this before. I knew when I became a bit emotional *in the prologue* that this was something special. Our main character, Ignacio, in dual timelines (and from his own perspective as well as that of his daughter Valentina) is a very layered, imperfect character. His struggles with masculinity and the machismo Colombian culture butting up against his sexuality and gender expression were really difficult to read, but made it all the more powerful. In the later timeline from his daughter's perspective, we see a completely hollowed-out, broken, despondent man and witness the damage of somebody not allowed to live his truth. I do wish I had felt a bit more connected to Valentina, but she was still very well-written as well. Awesome to see queerness so in your face and unabashed even in very dangerous circumstances. There was a lot of Spanish sprinkled throughout the writing, which occasionally made it challenging, but to be fair I could have looked things up, and I understood most of it contextually. I didn't care that much either, because it felt more authentic. Really great read and the ending?? Unexpected, but really beautiful.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Heartbreaking yet beautiful, this novel shows the complexities of family, biological and chosen, and how we identify ourselves. Teenage Valentina's mother died, sending her father, Ignacio, into a downward spiral. He rarely leaves the house and spends his days in bed watching telenovelas in a wig. He reflects on his youth, and his first love, while denying his identity, clinging to the idea of being a macho family man, rather than face the reality of queerness. Valentina, left to her own devices, tries to find out more about her mother, and her death, holding tightly the connections to the Magdalena river, be in a superstar TV personality, or the harrowing stories of death her and her best friend Jesi obsess over. As the father and daughter navigate the realities surrounding their situation, and the possibility of Valentina being removed from Ignacio's care, they rely on the help of Mamadora Eléctrica, a travesti who has been Ignacio's queer mother since his younger days. Testing the Eléctrica family bonds, cursed Ignacio tries to hold up Valentina, but can he even hold himself above the waters of the river?
Thank you to NetGalley and W. W. Norton & Company for this Advanced Reader Copy
Thank you to NetGalley and W. W. Norton & Company for this Advanced Reader Copy
May 28, 2026
3.25: Pretend You’re Dead and I Carry You was an interesting read. Maybe a few too many bodily fluids for me personally, but overall it’s a compelling story about hurt people hurting people and the slow death that comes from pretending to be what society wants instead of who you truly are. It’s a story about intergenerational trauma, internalized homophobia, generational curses, and the violence people inflict on themselves and others when they’re forced to suppress their true identities.
I wanted to hug the child version of Ignacio and beat the shit out of the adult him. My heart broke for who he was as a child, but I struggled to find much mercy for the person he became. I understand that systems of oppression shaped him and contributed to the cycle of harm, but at a certain point he also becomes complicit in his own cruelty.
The shifting timelines and povs felt disjointed at times, though I also suspect most of that came from my limited understanding of Spanish. There were so many things going on that it felt very overwhelming.
That being said, the writing was beautiful, lyrical, and dark.
The audio narrators did an incredible job, thank you Netgalley for the arc.
I wanted to hug the child version of Ignacio and beat the shit out of the adult him. My heart broke for who he was as a child, but I struggled to find much mercy for the person he became. I understand that systems of oppression shaped him and contributed to the cycle of harm, but at a certain point he also becomes complicit in his own cruelty.
The shifting timelines and povs felt disjointed at times, though I also suspect most of that came from my limited understanding of Spanish. There were so many things going on that it felt very overwhelming.
That being said, the writing was beautiful, lyrical, and dark.
The audio narrators did an incredible job, thank you Netgalley for the arc.
May 31, 2026
Thank you to the publisher, author and NetGalley for allowing me to listen to this as an ALC for my honest review.
The narration for this book was well done and moved seamlessly between English, Spanish, and Spanglish that only native speakers can do well. For that alone, this makes the story a must listen for other readers.
The story itself is convoluted, funny, and tragic in equal turns. It follows Valentina and her father, Ignacio, as they navigate her mother’s death. There are flashbacks to Ignacio when he was a young teenager as well and exploring his sexuality and discovering queer interests, that serve as the foundation for his present day self-loathing. Colombia’s strict stance against homosexuality forced Ignacio to closet himself and marry a woman, and Valentina is often confused and concerned by his many moods.
This is not an easy story to read as Ignacio is fiercely unlikable and you’re constantly worried for Valentina, but it’s very eye opening and well written. I would rewind certain bits of the story to re-listen to very distinct and hilarious bits of dialogue here and there. The author, Julian Delgado Lopera, is someone to watch!
The narration for this book was well done and moved seamlessly between English, Spanish, and Spanglish that only native speakers can do well. For that alone, this makes the story a must listen for other readers.
The story itself is convoluted, funny, and tragic in equal turns. It follows Valentina and her father, Ignacio, as they navigate her mother’s death. There are flashbacks to Ignacio when he was a young teenager as well and exploring his sexuality and discovering queer interests, that serve as the foundation for his present day self-loathing. Colombia’s strict stance against homosexuality forced Ignacio to closet himself and marry a woman, and Valentina is often confused and concerned by his many moods.
This is not an easy story to read as Ignacio is fiercely unlikable and you’re constantly worried for Valentina, but it’s very eye opening and well written. I would rewind certain bits of the story to re-listen to very distinct and hilarious bits of dialogue here and there. The author, Julian Delgado Lopera, is someone to watch!
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Actual Rating 2.5
This one is a little tough to rate. I really loved the concept, was interested in learning more about this time and topic, and I do tend to like weird literary fiction.
The book starts off quite disjointed. There are multiple narrators and timelines, and there isn't much time getting situated at the beginning before immediately jumping to the next timeline or POV. I also think some more grounding details, especially relating to the characters and setting, would have helped making this work more approachable.
I did quite like Valentina's POV and her storyline, and I got more invested in Igancio's as the book went on, as well as the interludes .
This is one of those books that might have worked much better reading rather than listening to, though the narrators did do a great job. This one didn't quite work for me as well as I wanted it to, but it's still recommendable. My thanks to NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for allowing me to read this work. All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own.
This one is a little tough to rate. I really loved the concept, was interested in learning more about this time and topic, and I do tend to like weird literary fiction.
The book starts off quite disjointed. There are multiple narrators and timelines, and there isn't much time getting situated at the beginning before immediately jumping to the next timeline or POV. I also think some more grounding details, especially relating to the characters and setting, would have helped making this work more approachable.
I did quite like Valentina's POV and her storyline, and I got more invested in Igancio's as the book went on, as well as the interludes .
This is one of those books that might have worked much better reading rather than listening to, though the narrators did do a great job. This one didn't quite work for me as well as I wanted it to, but it's still recommendable. My thanks to NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for allowing me to read this work. All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own.
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