Big Reactors: Practical Strategies for Parenting Highly Sensitive Children

by Claire Lerner

An invaluable, practical guide that shows parents how to help their highly sensitive child learn to manage their big emotions and thrive.

Highly sensitive children (HSCs) process and react to experiences more deeply than other children. They are sometimes called “spirited,” “deeply feeling,” or “big reactors.” These children are amazing--fierce and feisty, persistent and passionate, insightful and empathetic--but are also prone to more intense and frequent meltdowns. Parenting a big reactor can be challenging and exhausting, but it doesn't have to be.

In Big Practical Strategies for Parenting Highly Sensitive Children, child development specialist Claire Lerner helps parents develop the tools to support their HSC's strengths while also showing them how to cope with everyday challenges. She details the key traits of HSCs, describes the science behind the traits, and shows how parents and other caregivers can help them thrive. Through detailed case descriptions from her decades of work in the trenches, Lerner reveals the process she guides parents through to understand the root cause of their child's challenges and come up with sensitive, effective strategies that work in real life, not just in theory.

Importantly, Big Reactors shows parents how they can be supportive and loving while also setting the limits their fierce and feisty kids need to develop self-regulation and build resilience. This approach helps parents bring out the best in their passionate, creative, wonderful, sensitive child and creates more peace and joy for the entire family.

Genres: Parenting

289 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 2, 2025

Reviews

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I love about this book is that the author provides solutions that are practical and adaptable, rather than one-size-fits-all (that doesn't actually fit most!). Instead of making parents feel ashamed for not succeeding with certain approaches, she offers strategies that you can adapt to your unique child and situation. I loved the anecdotes about all kinds of "big reactors", too!

[Lesli Rotenberg]

This is a phenomenal book and will be incredibly helpful to parents who are challenged by children who are highly sensitive. I walked away with a much deeper understanding of what is behind some of the behaviors that I found most bewildering and frustrating as a parent.
What sets this book apart from so many others is the author's depth of knowledge on the topic along with her experience working in the trenches with families. The case studies are especially illuminating and offer practical examples of how to apply the strategies, so you get to see what happened when real parents attempted to implement the ideas, and how they were able to adapt them to fit their child and their circumstances.
This is NOT an academic treatment. It is a real world guide. It doesn't offer a one-size-fits-all approach to parenting highly sensitive children. Instead, it is a road map and a practical guide that parents can use to identify the root causes of their child's behaviors. When you understand that your child is not trying to manipulate you or trick you, your approach becomes more empathetic and measured. You walk away with a treasure trove of great ideas for how you can respond in a more loving, calm, and productive way.

[Renee Lerner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading Claire Lerner’s book, Big Reactors was an eye-opener. In her book,
one is made aware that how a parent views what makes a child happy
could actually produce the opposite - an unhappy, uncooperative, fearful,
out-of-control young person. The concern of being a tyrannical, demanding parent
often prevents successful parenting, such as setting much needed limits.
Using Lerner’s theory of mind shifts profoundly changes the perspective on child-rearing.
It frees the parent to help the child through difficult moments in ways that end
the dreaded power struggle. It offers a peaceful, mutually respectful parent-child relationship.
Renée

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is pure gold. I feel like it was written specifically for my family and the challenges we have with our daughter. Claire Lerner clearly specializes in these unique children and offers practical solutions and realistic changes to your parenting style that are effective and not available anywhere else. I have read about so many parenting philosophies and strategies and none resonate with me as well as those in this book. If you’re thinking about getting it, don’t wait! It’s worth so much more than what you will pay.

[Rich Bar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't think there could be a more insightful and useful book than Claire Lerner's first book, "Why is My Child In Charge". But this might be it. "Big Reactors" is practical and real. Claire Lerner has a wealth of experience and clearly knows about what she writes. Any parent facing challenges with a highly sensitive child should have this book available. If you could go higher than five stars, I would!