The Military Stories You've Been Told and the Ones You Need to Hear

by Jennifer Barnhill

Military Stories You’ve Been Told, and the Ones You Need to Hear pulls back the curtain on the Department of Defense’s polished narratives to reveal the lived experiences of military families too often left out of the conversation. Through deeply reported stories and unflinching analysis, this book challenges what Americans think they know about military life—and reveals why understanding the truth is essential if we’re serious about supporting those who serve.

With a powerful blend of research, personal stories, and historical context, Jennifer Barnhill challenges assumptions about service, sacrifice, and support–inviting readers to question the systems in place and advocate for lasting change.

From the untold labor of military spouses to the overlooked grief of Gold Star families, this book gives voice to those who support the mission behind the scenes and suffer its deepest consequences. Barnhill’s work is not only a tribute–it’s a blueprint for reform.

With insight from political leaders and real military families, this is a call to acknowledge, record, and honor the full story of American military life.

272 pages, Paperback

Published October 21, 2025

About the author

Jennifer Barnhill, MPA, is a columnist for Military.com, a freelance journalist, and the host of Military Dinner Table Conversations, a monthly reverse town hall elevating the stories of military families. She was named the 2025 Armed Forces Insurance Navy Spouse of the Year and is a 2023 Bush Institute Stand-To Veteran Leadership Scholar. Her reporting on military family policy has appeared on CNN and informed discussions on Capitol Hill, and her research has been cited by the White House, featured by NPR, and presented before Congress. Drawing on her lived experience navigating the military ecosystem, Jennifer uncovers how policies affect families in practice. Her debut book, The Military Stories You’ve Been Told and the Ones You Need to Hear, challenges readers to reconsider what they know about military life by listening to the often-hidden voices of military families.

Reviews

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I reviewed this book for Military Families Magazine -

This book is so smart and fascinating. It’s a read you’ll want to savor, packed with facts and footnotes, and it will make you rethink the military stories you think you know, no matter how well-acquainted with this life of service you may be.

[Kelsey Scheffert · Rating 4 out of 5]

An important albeit frustrating read. Well-made points with examples. Recommend!

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

So smartly written and poignant. Hits on many of the complex facets military life presents and puts them into understandable and digestible stories.