Ben Crowe is one of the world's most in-demand mindset coaches. In this book, he reveals nine simple-yet-profound perspective shifts that will change the way you see the world and yourself.
Showing how these nine perspective shifts are relevant to every human being, Ben demonstrates how self-compassion, imagination and appreciation can turn adversity into possibility, remove pressure and help us find that elusive balance between confidence and happiness, achievement and fulfillment.
Move from fearful to playful, from human doing to human being, and from fitting in to truly belonging. Even small perspective shifts can lead to massive breakthroughs, creating the freedom to redefine what it means to live a life true to yourself. Because that's where the light gets in.
I’ve followed Ben and his mindset coaching since 2020, when COVID had us locked down and podcasts were a daily occurrence. He provided snippets of his expertise through others podcasts and now, fast forward 6 years the time has come. He has parted all his wisdom in one spot. Finally!
Ben helped us thru some dark times and even provided some greater insight into being better humans and having purpose.
His book is a timely reminder that we get to choose how we behave and respond.
There is so much content, I feel it needs to be read a few times to fully appreciate the learnings.
Ben and his approach to tackling life changed us. I hope it does the same for so many others. An incredible read.
Ben could publish his grocery list and I would read it!! This man is the king of ah-ha moments and this book is full of them. This is one of those books, that as soon as you finish it, you want to immediately start it over again with a pen in hand! Could not recommend this book more highly if you are on any sort of personal journey for self improvement.
Disclaimer- this review contains references to suicide. If this is triggering for you, please do not read on.
This book had a negative impact on my mental health. After every session of reading, I felt progressively worse, worse about myself, worse about my life, worse in my mood and outlook. I dithered about posting this review, but I think my story needs telling, as the author would say, and this is a starting point.
I had been struggling for a while before beginning this book and have tried to utilise the services of a couple of therapists, with little success, in fact one had a similar effect as this book. I have heard Ben speak on a few podcasts and know he has been game changing for many, I remember not listening to follow up episodes of the podcasts, but couldn't remember why. Just that I didn't feel the same as what others felt. I know this is against the norm - 'Google Ben Crowe, it will change your life' read the sign at the front of my local osteo a while ago.
I told a friend I was struggling, largely with connection, and they recommended this book. 'My friend swears by it, changed her outlook'. So I thought I would give it a go.
It has changed my life. Unfortunately, it has confirmed all of the things I've been struggling with, reaffirmed them, and led me closer to the suicidal path I seem to be travelling towards.
I think the biggest issue for me is that I know my worth. Know I am loved. Know who I am and what value I hold. Know I am an amazing dad, know I am extremely competent at my job. But I genuinely struggle with connection. They feel connected to me, I don't to them. I struggle to like people beyond surface level and find I am different to everyone, think differently and it is extremely challenging therefore to connect.
I'm not sure why this book reaffirmed my struggles so much. Not sure why I finished almost every section I took in, in tears. Low. Sad. But I know that it was unmistakable. Yet I pushed on, hoping for that golden nugget or perspective shifter, or Ah-ha moment. Instead, I felt increasingly isolated, and at one stage in correspondence with Lifeline, thoughts of suicide and depression growing - another negative experience, a story for another day, but I would be willing to bet that many of the 7 Australians a day that die by suicide have tried contacting lifeline and left feeling bereft. Feeling bereft, defeated and deflated is how this book made me feel.
The section on the death of Crowe's dad was hard. I have young kids and am torn apart by what suicide would do to them. But I'm also aware of the cruel irony - I'm living for them, here because of them, but the fact I can't live my own life and do things my way, constantly putting others first, is a prime reason I feel the way I do. Rather than shift these perspectives, this book reinforced them.
Another juxtaposition, is my steadfast, headstrong nature and ability to be myself and not worry if people don't like that version of me. Yet this is one of the prime reasons I don't feel connection to people. I will not sacrifice who I am to fit in.
The part about the actor from The Phantom of the Opera said that after personal growth he felt he was, 'loving, kind, caring, grounded, peaceful, joyous, cheeky. And happy.' I believe I am those things, yet that happiness escapes me.
I found the Introducing yourself without mentioning job et el, part tough. It wasn't fun or playful, as suggested. It fuelled my deep seeded desire to feel connected, to the right people. To my people. And the reality that I'm more than 40 years in, and I haven't found them. Family, relationships, colleagues, team mates, parents of children's school friends and team mates.
I don't write this review to criticise Crowe in any way. I admire his achievements and it is undeniably accurate to say he has helped many and indeed many more have been helped than hindered. I can only speak to how his book and stories made me feel. If you feel the same, I guess the adage is accurate, you're not alone.
To finish with a sporting analogy, since the book was filled with them. I think there are people who achieve their dreams and happiness and are see ball, get ball. Then there are those that can't see the ball, but people like Crowe, and books like this help them do that, and then they get ball. This book is for you. Then there are people like me. They see the ball. They see it so clearly it hurts. But they have absolutely no idea how to get it, and if they did, no idea what to do with it. This book won't give you those skills.
And because I sound like a super negative person Who am I... I Love exercising. Running and walking and I run 25-30 kms a week and equal that in daily walks. I love playing games with my kids. All games and any games. Board, card, word, outdoor, games made up on the spot with whatever we have around us. I hate social media. I have none and think the world would be better without it. I love footy and sport in general but hate that we sap the joy out of if for kids. Let them play. Let them have fun. Winning and losing is minor detail. I love the bush, trees, animals, hikes, rivers. I love cutting wood and then sitting by the warmth of it as it burns. I don't love night life. I prefer board and card games with friends, a few quiet drinks in. I LOVE learning. Love. Taking in new information, making mistakes and discovering, is my favourite thing to do. I love it. That love feeds my love of podcasts and books. Music is my constant. Constantly on. Constantly in the background. Singing in the car, shower, but never aloud in public. Nor do I dance. I don't enjoy it, don't feel good listening to the music that people tend to dance to. I Love puns and being light and silly. Childish. I love the person I am, but I still feel the way I do.
I hope your experience with this book is a more positive one.
This is a great book for my sporty kids, especially my teen who massively gets in his head during games. I found some helpful tips but do feel this book is aimed at athletes which I am not 😅
This book challenges some of our most entrenched assumptions, particularly the pressure we place on ourselves and others through expectation. Ben Crowe’s reframing around goals, self-compassion and play is especially relevant for educators, parents and leaders. Thoughtful, accessible and quietly confronting in the best way.
Very good, but it feels rather targeted towards elite athletes and not teachers...can you tell me more about how to do all of this when dealing with stinky 14 year olds?
Wish I had’ve had this in my 20s!!! Such great simple advice…like turn it into play, breathe deep, tell your story…things that I know now really make all the difference. It was also just a great reminder of a book; such a good read a couple of pages in the morning and put them into play through the day because you know how detrimental negative self talk is but humming do you can focus…so clever Loved it
If you've read your Brené Brown and watched even a couple of episodes of Ted Lasso then I doubt that anything you see in here will blow your socks off, but Ben Crowe has worked with some amazing people and has some wonderful stories to tell (with a beautiful Australian flavour). Why not create a little more inspiration in the world?
3/5. Had me in the first half but wasn’t a strong finish. Some great life stories told and valuable lessons to take away. Ben has done some wonderful work in his life so far, I have a feeling his next book will be a 5⭐️
Bronnie was in fact on to something with this one!
She wasn't the only one who recommended it to me though, and in fact prior to her becoming Ben Crowe's #1 unofficial fangirl, a dear mentor to me had already gifted me a hard copy of the book to read. I ended up listening to the audiobook (Sorry Danny hahaha) over the course of a few weeks, and what a book it was. 100% worth the read for anyone, with universally applicable principles and strategies that we can all make use of in our lives, regardless of where you're at.
Yikes. The word that kept coming up over and over in my mind as I read this was shallow.
While I did find a few useful nuggets (in the last 43 pages mostly), I felt the majority of this book was poorly written and came off more as a sales pitch for his company (is there a record for number of name drops is a 350 page book? If not, we have a winner!)
I found the author unlikable often- when he spoke about “bikinis” and when we proudly compared the time honored tradition of tribal storytelling to Nike’s marketing campaigns (which seem to be his largest catalyst). I thought that was in poor taste at best and appropriating at worst.
I felt like he told us so much storyline of the TV show Ted Lasso, that it would be a better move to just watch that than read this. Ted Lasso *is* good- inspiring, uplifting- this book just told us how TL was good not a unique perspective.
There was advice in here that exactly opposes advice I’ve received from licensed therapists: living for other people and making you life in their service is one main one. That is something “Crowey” would commend you on and something my therapist warns of. But as my therapist would say, it’s probably a man thing because IN GENERAL men to be reminded to think of others, to be kind, to think of the tribe, and women IN GENERAL are trained from birth to be human givers, we already do that to our detriment. So, nah, I’ll be focusing on how to live my live for me, not for others.
I thought of the movie, A Bug’s Life often while reading this. It is in the best interest of the chosen few to remind the masses that a lot of “this” is out of your control so just accept it and make the best of what you’ve got. When a lot of “this” isn’t acceptable for anyone but the few calling the shots. When I remember that, it makes sense that a man collecting paychecks from big names like Nike wants to tell you, dear reader, to just *accept it* instead of doing anything about it.
Please think critically and remember that the small outnumber the mighty and we don’t have to accept how bullshit things are.
TL:DR I thought this take had privilege written all over it: whiteness, maleness, financial privilege, you name it. There were a few helpful nuggets in the last ~40 pages.
I love Ben and in many ways enjoyed this book but I wonder if there was another draft to go a bit deeper in one of two directions. In some ways I enjoyed that the book was more anecdotal and less self-help but I wonder if breaking down the exercises and clarifying them might serve the reader more in illiciting change. Or if it is more of an anecdotal book I wonder if there is another layer deeper in Ben himself that I wanted to know, certainly there are some personal and difficult stories, maybe I wanted to know a bit more where Ben learnt these techniques or what some of his hero journey moments were that lead to these epiphanies. I enjoy sport and the many people Ben works with but I found I wanted to know more about him than all those he's inspired. But it's still a very entertaining solid read and there are some excellent reminders in there.
Perspective Shift #1: From Pressure to Freedom - The Dreaded 'E' Word Perspective Shift #2: From Fitting in to Belonging - The Power of Connection Perspective Shift #3: From Not Enough to I Am Enough - Own Your Story Perspective Shift #4: From Human Doing to Human Being - Person Versus Persona Perspective Shift #5: From '' to 'We' - The Adventure of a lifetime Perspective Shift #6: From Fear to Play - Play Needs a Rebrand Perspective Shift #7: From Powerless to Powerful - Agency, Acceptance, Appreciation Perspective Shift #8: From Money to Meaning - Redefining Success Perspective Shift #9: From Performance Anxiety to Performance Confidence - Flow Hacks
Once I got past the "sports team this, sports team that...I work with important rich people" and found the nitty gritty underneath I really loved this book. It offers really great advice without being condescending, without nullifying people's experiences. I definitely made some notes that I will be using to shift my perspective.
Well written, and easy to read - after the first chapter or two. I think it could have had a better introduction to the ideas, but that's probably just because I'm not a sports person.
“While our identity is as a human being, in reality we are still human doings. Were not just blobs floating in passive existence, and this isnt an argument to sit in stillness forever. Were on this planet to create, build, play, love and serve. The point isn't to reject doing, but to uncouple doing from proving. Then the fun bit is figuring out what our gifts are, so we can spend the limited time we have here giving them away.”
The longest humblebrag I've read in quite a while. All the stories, riddled with quotes from thinkers he does not seem to have read, are basically stories of him in front of an impressed crowd. I am happy that he is making a living; good on him. If I understand the Acknowledgments section correctly, he had a collaborative writer. She must have had an impossible journey with this self-absorbed guy who quotes Ted Lasso as if he were Seneca, and Seneca as if he were Ted Lasso.
I was given this book at a work training day and it is not something I would normally read. It was a bit self indulgent, maybe better enjoyed by elite athletes and could be summarised as 'watch Ted Lasso'. As Ben says himself "I don't have a client who's not obsessed with winning"; and it comes across in the stories he tells in this book. I did like the quotes of some great thinkers and orators he references.
This is a great book for someone who wants to gain an understanding of everyday psychology/philosophy. As someone who is neurodivergent and non-sporty, I couldn’t strongly resonate with parts of the book. I enjoyed the audiobook over the paperback, Ben has a great voice to narrate everything from his perspective. It also felt a bit too long. It is the type of book you can pick up at any chapter though for the key messages.
What a beautifully written book. Anyone that is a fellow human, should spend time to delve deep into its pages. It’s so easy to get caught up in our own little bubbles, and after reading this, it has opened up my mind to what it truly means to be alive. That life ever so short, can be prolonged with play, purpose and potential. That self-love and courage can bring our insecurities to its knees. We are in control of who we are and who we want to be. It’s up to you, to take the wheel!
Loved the story telling element of this book and the range of high profile stars Ben has helped along the way. It definitely had some key takeaways to store for self use - wasn't the most ground breaking book I've read but there were a few gems in the midst of the pages. Very geared towards professional athlete performance models and thought patterns.
Five stars - not so much for the writing, but the power of the messages within. I know there are many books and people providing professional insights into one’s mindset and changing one’s perspective in a positive direction. But this book must surely be a GREAT PLACE TO START! Clearly described, simple principles blended with real, high performing peoples’ experiences
Good content, nothing really new but certainly powerful ideas on how to shift one’s perspective. Little slow at time But I really enjoyed all the sporting and australian references. I am sure I will revisit this book.
I could not relate to all the sports references, and didn’t understand what half of it meant. All of the name drops (half of whom I have no idea who they are) were unnecessary and this whole book seemed like a glorified resume, I did not learn a thing.
I prob could have dnf but I did leave with some highlights- all from other people and not the author himself. Maybe im the problem or ill never take advice from someone who worked with the broncos lol
⭐️⭐️ 1/2 So so so many sports anecdotes. They really did not engage me, even being a sports coach on and off. The audiobook didn’t have chapters, and I couldn’t easily skip the first chapter. There were some interesting parts, but they were not in depth enough for me to actually take on.
Ben Crowe drops lots of big names but also a heap of tips to keep you on track and growing into your best you. I was especially impressed with his embracing play, laughter and fun into his formulas for living a fulfilled life.