Not Exactly Ghosts

by Andrew Caldecott

''Not Exactly Ghosts'' by Andrew Caldecott is a collection of downright terrifying tales of blood, anger, and jealousy...

Genres: Short Stories, Horror, Fiction

223 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1947

Reviews

[Jeff · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, not exactly my favorite collection. A number of Sir Andrew's stories take place in the Orient, where he was in the British Colonial Service. They are well written but not my cup of tea - I prefer good old British locations - country houses, village churches, anything Jamesian. And there are a lot of these in the book as well. If it had been split into 2 volumes, Occidental and Oriental, I would have enjoyed it far more. As it was, I would just settle into an MR James groove only to be thrust into a steaming Pacific jungle with the next tale, which constantly spoiled the mood for me.

[Gina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sir Andrew Caldecott (1884~1951) was educated at Uppingham School and at Exeter College, Oxford, where he became an Honorary Fellow in 1948. He held various posts within the Malayan Civil Service, which he joined in 1907, and developed a genuine interest in the country's language and folklore. He was Governor of Hong Kong from 1935 to 1937, and then Governor of Ceylon from 1937 to 1944. He had a lifelong interest in the supernatural and, as is evident from his two volumes of supernatural tales, he was an accomplished writer, but it wasn't until after his retirement in 1944 that he published his first volume of ghost stories.

Not Exactly Ghosts was published in 1947 by Edward Arnold & Co. It contains twelve tales, all of which are excellent and very entertaining. It's a collection that I highly recommend. I particularly like Caldecott's dark sense of humour. And there's even a quote from M. R. James in the final tale.

In 'A Room in a Rectory', Reverend Nigel Tylethorpe, the newly arrived Rector of St. Botolph's in Tilchington, decides to reopen a room in the Rectory that his predecessor kept locked for years, having instructed his staff to 'leave it alone'. The room becomes Rev. Tylethorpe's study, but the sermons he composes within it become more and more concerned with the sinister and occult. And as the Rector's interest in the occult turns to obsession, he begins to believe that he is not the only occupant of the room.

In 'Branch Line to Benceston', Adrian Frent, a railway enthusiast and herbalist, is the first tenant of 'Brentside', the newly-built house next to the narrator's own abode in Brensham. Frent is a partner in a firm of music publishers, but he hates the other patner with a vengeance, feeling that the man has blighted his existence since they were boys. And when the partner dies from influenza, things take an unusual turn.

In 'Sonata in D. Minor', Peter Tullivant asks his friend Roger Morcambe to take part in a little experiment. He asks him to listen to a specific piece of music - Siedel's Sonata in D Minor - then leaves him in a locked room to do so alone, for the recording has a dramatic psychological effect an all who listen to it.

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[Riju Ganguly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This collection contains the following stories~
1. A Room in a Rectory
2. Branch Line to Benceston
3. Sonata in D Minor
4. Autoepitaphy
5. The Pump in Thorp's Spinney
6. Whiffs of the Sea
7. In Due Course
8. Light in the Darkness
9. Decastroland
10. A Victim of Medusa
11. Fits of the Blues
12. Christmas Re-union
The prose is clear. Narrative is witty and somewhat erudite. Endings are low-key. But the atmosphere evoked by them, although not exactly Jamesian, is shiver-inducing.
Recommended.

[Clay C. · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of fun, short, and unique ghost stories in the vein of M. R. James and L. P. Hartley. As the title suggests, many of the supernatural elements of these stories could be dismissed as something strange but still explicable and mundane. That being said, there are always a bit too many clues, bizarre details, and coincidences in the narrative for most readers to be satisfied with an earthly explanation. The stories either take place in mansions and church buildings in rural England, or in the fictional South-East Asian country of Kongea, based on colonial Malaysia where Caldecott was a civil servant.

Many of these stories aren't "scary" in the traditional sense (I don't think that's what Caldecott was going for) but most are vaguely creepy and all are quite creative in how the supernatural manifests itself. In fact, if I had to single out one quality of Caldecott's to praise it would be his creativity. Despite the writer being clearly inspired by an often trite Victorian ghost story tradition, the hauntings Caldecott's characters face never take a cliche form. A sense of threat for the protagonist is rarely strong, as usually the haunting effects someone they either know or have found record of in the past. One of the fews exceptions is "In Due Course," a creepy, shadowy story involving preying mantises, shadow puppets, and a surprisingly nasty main character. When the protagonists lives are threatened it is not overtly caused by the "ghost" but by a side effect of their supernatural experience such as in "Fits of the Blues" or "A Victim of Medusa." There is also a lot of humor in these stories, often refreshing and genuinely funny. Great examples of this are in "Autoepitaphy,"a story featuring a haunted desk that writes flowery eulogies, and "Fits of the Blues," in which a jewel-thief loses his ability to see all colors save one. Many of the stories are pretty light in tone, which lends them their distinct sense of fun but should be known by the reader going in. Still there are some moment of genuine spine-tingling horridness, though its alway alluded to rather than thrown into the reader's face. The best examples of these are in "Sonata in D Minor," "The Pump in Thorp's Spinney," "In Due Course," and (my personal favorite) "Whiffs of the Sea" which features the spirit of a former smuggler who was chained up and left for dead inside a metal buoy after turning informer

There are no real duds in this collection in my opinion, but my personal favorites are: "Whiffs of the Sea," "In Due Course," and "Decastroland." I'd strongly recommend it for readers who are ok with horror being playful and not too self-serious while remaining creepy and mysterious. I'm sure finding a physical copy of this book can be difficult, but according to Project Guttenberg Australia the book is now in the public domain. All it takes is a google search to find a free, in-browser ebook copy of Not Exactly Ghosts, so what are you waiting for?

[Jay Rothermel · Rating 4 out of 5]

In his guide to supernatural fiction, Bleiler refers to Andrew Caldecott's collection as "ghost stories and whimsies." Droll or whimsical some may be, but they all advance by the negative side: the cold black humor of reversed fortunes and biters bit. The stories are free of pathos and lugubrious sentiment. If the reader is looking for tales almost as good as Saki's, Not Exactly Ghosts will serve.

Full review: http://jayrothermel.blogspot.com/2022...

[Carole Tyrrell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sir Andrew Caldicott worked in the Civil Service all of his life and only turned to writing ghost stories after his retirement. Unfortunately, he didn’t live long enough to enjoy his retirement as he died aged 65. There has been a recent article about him and his supernatural tales in the magazine Wormwood.
He published two collections of ghost stories: Not Exactly Ghosts and Fire Burn Blue and was writing in the 1940’s. He has been compared to M R James which I think can be a double edged sword in that a comparison between such and accomplished writer or ghost stories and another can leave the latter wanting. Although Sir Andrew was writing in the 1940’s the stories have the feel of a much earlier era – perhaps Edwardian with its world of hopeful spinsters, gossipy clergymen, vicarage tea parties, domestic servants downstairs and parochial events. Sir Andrew worked for most of his life in what were British Colonies; Ceylon now Sri Lanka, Hong Kong and Malaya. He set some of his supernatural tales in an imaginary country called Kongea. One reviewer has commented that it feels much like the Home Counties with better weather. Kongea had the feel, to me, of a country not unlike Malaya with dense rain forests and tropical weather. But it also had the atmosphere of Ceylon particularly in Fit sof the Blues which features a magnificent sapphire for Ceylon has been famed. But there is a division between the natives of Kongea and their colonial managers which might echo the mood of the times.
I found some of the stories a little wordy to my taste but the stand-out ones were:
A room in rectory
The Pump in Thorp’s Spinney
Fits of the Blues
Christmas Reunion
An exchange of rules
A Book Entry

MRJ is name checked in A Christmas Reunion and there is direct quote from Stories I have tried to write in which he says:
‘There may be possibilities too in the Christmas cracker if the right people pull it and if the motto which they find inside has the right message on it. They will probably leave the party early, pleasing indisposition; but very likely a previous engagement of long standing would be the more truthful excuse.’
This is a tale in which the Father Christmas that arrives at a suburban home as ordered is not the one that they expected and he has a sinister motive for visiting.
A Room in a rectory concerns a newly appointed Rector who insists on opening a locked room at his vicarage despite warnings. He decides to make it into his new study soon discovers that there is a ne vail presence haunting the rectory as a result.
The Pump in Thorp’s Spinney is about a young Boy, Phillip who hears strange unearthly sounds when visiting the pump. Is it an animal or human in pain?
Fits of the Blues is about a man called Lenbury who acquires a magnificent sapphire, not by honest means, while out in Kongea. The sapphire is reputed to be able to affect the eyesight as Lenbury soon discovers with terrifying results.
An exchange of riles in which a mainstay of the local church orchestra appears to come back from the dead to give the performance of their lives.
A book Entry was one that I really enjoyed as it was so well written. Again set in Kongea it concerns the signature of a U Nomi Esq which appears in the Governors calling-book but only during ‘the night-times.’ The Governor Sir Oscar Sallerton is enraged but the signature keeps appearing. Lady Sallerton goes back home to England after falling ill and so eventually does Sir Oscar. Not a popular man, he dies on the way back to England on board ship from a sudden heart attack. Someone has waited a long time to get their revenge…
This was first reading of the collection and I may like others better on a second reading.

[A gin and orange, a lemon squash, and a scotch and water, please! · Rating 5 out of 5]

An under-rated writer - but not surprising since he didn't start writing until he'd retired, and then he died soon after, so he hasn't really left us a lot. Like many writers of that era (roughly 1880-1920) he can be a little bit on the verbose side, but he's amongst the best creepy writers of that time. You (or you as protagonist) are left never knowing whether or not the experience you've had has been easily explainable or is paranormal/supernatural.
A tremendous read for those who (like me) are bored with blood and slashers but want something really unsettling.

[Shelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this to read with my husband over Christmas. Caldecott combines the best of Victorian ghost stories - the creepy factor that doesn't necessitate any gore - with the worst - he uses 12 words where 3 would do. Still, the stories are very enjoyable and made for good reading over the holiday.