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Poison is Always in the Prettiest Bottle - A Dark Romcom, filled with laughter and witchy vibes.: The Butcher and the Witch
FROM AUSTRALIAN AUTHOR CASSANDRA DOON, COMES A FUNNY, WITTY, AND DIABOLICAL ROMCOM. ONE THAT WILL LEAVE YOU WONDERING "WHAT IN THE WORLD DID THE TOWN FOLK OF LANCASTER EAT FOR DINNER."
Genie Alden runs the quaintest little skincare shop in Lancashire—if you ignore the tarot cards, the Death card's morning greetings, and her product line featuring Belladonna.
Business is booming, especially her special consultations for women who need more than just a good moisturizer. Let's just say some problems require... creative solutions.
Then Ciarán walks into her Irish butcher, walking temptation, and a man who knows exactly where to cut for maximum impact. He's got secrets darker than her eyeliner and hands that tell stories she's dying to hear.
But when mysterious strangers start asking questions and bodies start causing complications, Genie realizes her perfectly organized chaos might be spiraling out of control.
Good thing she's got magic, sarcasm, and a few tricks up her sleeve that would make her witch ancestors cackle with pride.
Some bottles are prettier than others. Some secrets are deadlier than most.
Poison is always in the Prettiest Bottle is a Romcom based in Lancashire England. This book does touch on some themes like murder, and cannibalism. If these subjects bother you please refrain from reading.
Genie Alden runs the quaintest little skincare shop in Lancashire—if you ignore the tarot cards, the Death card's morning greetings, and her product line featuring Belladonna.
Business is booming, especially her special consultations for women who need more than just a good moisturizer. Let's just say some problems require... creative solutions.
Then Ciarán walks into her Irish butcher, walking temptation, and a man who knows exactly where to cut for maximum impact. He's got secrets darker than her eyeliner and hands that tell stories she's dying to hear.
But when mysterious strangers start asking questions and bodies start causing complications, Genie realizes her perfectly organized chaos might be spiraling out of control.
Good thing she's got magic, sarcasm, and a few tricks up her sleeve that would make her witch ancestors cackle with pride.
Some bottles are prettier than others. Some secrets are deadlier than most.
Poison is always in the Prettiest Bottle is a Romcom based in Lancashire England. This book does touch on some themes like murder, and cannibalism. If these subjects bother you please refrain from reading.
302 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 13, 2025
About the author
Cassandra Doon
81 books92 followersCassandra hates writing about herself in the third person, but here we are. With over 33 novels penned and no signs of stopping, she writes across multiple genres. Unable to be pinned down by just one, you'll find Fantasy, Dark Romance, Young Adult, and even a Detective series in the mix.
Having grown up in a small country town and later lived in the city, Cassandra found a perfect spot she likes to call an 'in-between place'—complete with rolling hills and just a stone's throw from the Gold Coast in Queensland Australia.
While she may have had social media in the past, Cassandra has since declared it's not for her. Her website is now the best place to find out what's happening in her world and to see what upcoming books are on the horizon.
Having grown up in a small country town and later lived in the city, Cassandra found a perfect spot she likes to call an 'in-between place'—complete with rolling hills and just a stone's throw from the Gold Coast in Queensland Australia.
While she may have had social media in the past, Cassandra has since declared it's not for her. Her website is now the best place to find out what's happening in her world and to see what upcoming books are on the horizon.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
January 27, 2026
4.5 ⭐️
2.5 🌶️ (multiple scenes, little descriptions)
YES. I am a sucker for any book where the FMC gives out vigilante justice to women in abusive situations. Check your triggers. This was the perfect blend of murder, justice and romance. Genie is also giving great witch vibes and we get a good amount of her background and family traditions and celebrations.
I also loved the bit of plot twist/cliffhanger at the end to grab our attention and intrigue for book 2
2.5 🌶️ (multiple scenes, little descriptions)
YES. I am a sucker for any book where the FMC gives out vigilante justice to women in abusive situations. Check your triggers. This was the perfect blend of murder, justice and romance. Genie is also giving great witch vibes and we get a good amount of her background and family traditions and celebrations.
I also loved the bit of plot twist/cliffhanger at the end to grab our attention and intrigue for book 2
January 11, 2026
Poison is Always in the Prettiest Bottle is pure dark genius.
I knew going in that this was a dark romcom, it’s right there in the title, but it still completely subverted my expectations. I was braced for something closer to fairytale witches, yet what unfolded was far sharper, more grounded, and far more deliciously chaotic than I anticipated.
Genie, a local organic skincare shop owner, immediately stood out to me. She feels familiar in that small-town way, the kind of person you could absolutely imagine knowing, while quietly holding layers the rest of the world never sees. When Ciarán arrives in town as one of the new butchers, clearly looking for a way out of a former life, the tension between them sparks instantly. Their connection is electric, messy, and full of collisions, both emotional and literal.
What really worked for me was how real the setting felt. This genuinely reads like it could be happening just down the street, between two local business owners whose lives overlap in unexpected ways. As Genie and Ciarán get closer, the weight of what they are each holding back adds a steady undercurrent of unease that kept me turning pages.
While the story leans into darker and more serious territory, it never loses its balance. The pacing is adrenaline-fuelled, the humour lands perfectly, and the spice is woven in without overwhelming the plot. Then there is the ending, which completely blindsided me in the best possible way.
This was bold, sharp, and wildly entertaining. I finished it buzzing and immediately wanting more. I cannot wait to get my hands on book two.
I knew going in that this was a dark romcom, it’s right there in the title, but it still completely subverted my expectations. I was braced for something closer to fairytale witches, yet what unfolded was far sharper, more grounded, and far more deliciously chaotic than I anticipated.
Genie, a local organic skincare shop owner, immediately stood out to me. She feels familiar in that small-town way, the kind of person you could absolutely imagine knowing, while quietly holding layers the rest of the world never sees. When Ciarán arrives in town as one of the new butchers, clearly looking for a way out of a former life, the tension between them sparks instantly. Their connection is electric, messy, and full of collisions, both emotional and literal.
What really worked for me was how real the setting felt. This genuinely reads like it could be happening just down the street, between two local business owners whose lives overlap in unexpected ways. As Genie and Ciarán get closer, the weight of what they are each holding back adds a steady undercurrent of unease that kept me turning pages.
While the story leans into darker and more serious territory, it never loses its balance. The pacing is adrenaline-fuelled, the humour lands perfectly, and the spice is woven in without overwhelming the plot. Then there is the ending, which completely blindsided me in the best possible way.
This was bold, sharp, and wildly entertaining. I finished it buzzing and immediately wanting more. I cannot wait to get my hands on book two.
May 29, 2026
Audiobook Review
If you are looking for your next obsession, look no further than this dark, small-town audiobook that masterfully balances a witch’s silent, powerful revenge with a high-stakes romance.
If you love an FMC who doles out vigilante justice to protect those in abusive situations, this is the perfect listen. Genie, the local organic skincare shop owner, instantly stands out as a character who feels remarkably grounded and familiar, yet she quietly holds complex layers that kept me completely enthralled throughout the entire journey.
When Ciarán, a new butcher in town trying to outrun his own past, crosses her path, their chemistry is electric, messy, and full of both emotional and literal collisions.
The narration by Danni Deguire is nothing short of captivating; she brings such depth to these characters that she completely traps you inside the story, making it impossible to press pause.
While I braced myself for something closer to whimsical fairytale witches, what unfolded was far sharper, more grounded, and refreshingly chaotic. As a witch myself, I was incredibly impressed by how the production balances the magical elements without ever feeling overly supernatural, keeping the setting firmly rooted in a believable, gritty reality.
The pacing is adrenaline-fueled, the humor lands perfectly, and the spice is woven in naturally, enhancing the plot rather than overwhelming it.
The ending caught me entirely off guard, providing a conclusion that left me reeling in the best possible way.
The production value of this audiobook is truly top-tier and made for a seamless listening experience. Since there is only one narrator, it is all the more impressive how Danni Deguire navigates the brilliantly quirky cast of characters and plot twists that will keep you on the edge of your seat, making this a must-listen.
Just be sure to check your trigger warnings before diving into this funny, dark, and deeply satisfying story.
If you are looking for your next obsession, look no further than this dark, small-town audiobook that masterfully balances a witch’s silent, powerful revenge with a high-stakes romance.
If you love an FMC who doles out vigilante justice to protect those in abusive situations, this is the perfect listen. Genie, the local organic skincare shop owner, instantly stands out as a character who feels remarkably grounded and familiar, yet she quietly holds complex layers that kept me completely enthralled throughout the entire journey.
When Ciarán, a new butcher in town trying to outrun his own past, crosses her path, their chemistry is electric, messy, and full of both emotional and literal collisions.
The narration by Danni Deguire is nothing short of captivating; she brings such depth to these characters that she completely traps you inside the story, making it impossible to press pause.
While I braced myself for something closer to whimsical fairytale witches, what unfolded was far sharper, more grounded, and refreshingly chaotic. As a witch myself, I was incredibly impressed by how the production balances the magical elements without ever feeling overly supernatural, keeping the setting firmly rooted in a believable, gritty reality.
The pacing is adrenaline-fueled, the humor lands perfectly, and the spice is woven in naturally, enhancing the plot rather than overwhelming it.
The ending caught me entirely off guard, providing a conclusion that left me reeling in the best possible way.
The production value of this audiobook is truly top-tier and made for a seamless listening experience. Since there is only one narrator, it is all the more impressive how Danni Deguire navigates the brilliantly quirky cast of characters and plot twists that will keep you on the edge of your seat, making this a must-listen.
Just be sure to check your trigger warnings before diving into this funny, dark, and deeply satisfying story.
June 1, 2026
Ooooh she’s an actual witch … and maybe just the person he’s in town to investigate and expose … yet, there’s undeniable, sizzling chemistry.
Written in first-person POV, alternating.
Past tense.
What’s not to love about an actual witch who cleverly brews potions that give d0m3tic v|0lence v|ct|ms an out?! Oh this was so good. It’s like a ‘small town vibes’, ‘cozy mystery’, slow-burn romance all wrapped up in one, with danger sprinkled in.
Before I realized it, I was hooked & couldn’t put this book down!
Both leads are entrepreneurs.
Forbidden vibes / conflict of interest.
FMC is a witch.
Vigilante-style justice.
Mysteries.
Vengeance.
Found family.
Sweeney Todd vibes.
Slow-burn romance.
Circle of friends.
Cozy, small town vibes.
Overall:
So sweet, and so very fun! Absolutely need to explore more from this author, how fun!
4 stars.
🎙️ Audiobook:
What an absolutely stunning audio production, managing to sound full-cast, flawless overall sound quality and perfect voice-acting. 5 stars.
Written in first-person POV, alternating.
Past tense.
What’s not to love about an actual witch who cleverly brews potions that give d0m3tic v|0lence v|ct|ms an out?! Oh this was so good. It’s like a ‘small town vibes’, ‘cozy mystery’, slow-burn romance all wrapped up in one, with danger sprinkled in.
Before I realized it, I was hooked & couldn’t put this book down!
Both leads are entrepreneurs.
Forbidden vibes / conflict of interest.
FMC is a witch.
Vigilante-style justice.
Mysteries.
Vengeance.
Found family.
Sweeney Todd vibes.
Slow-burn romance.
Circle of friends.
Cozy, small town vibes.
Overall:
So sweet, and so very fun! Absolutely need to explore more from this author, how fun!
4 stars.
🎙️ Audiobook:
What an absolutely stunning audio production, managing to sound full-cast, flawless overall sound quality and perfect voice-acting. 5 stars.
May 29, 2026
Poison is Always in the Prettiest Bottle is such a fun listen! A serial unaliver witch who comes from an abusive past helping others escape their own bad situations, crossed with an assassin sent to find and end said perpetrator but instead he falls hard for her. These two have great chemistry and wonderful friends surrounding them. Filled with horror and humor, the writing is well done and engaging. The fast-paced performance of the various roles with enthusiasm and power—and yes, those accents!!!!—makes for a highly engaging and entertaining listen. Loved this one!.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
January 4, 2026
Romcom Witchy Goodness
This was such a good read to start off 2026! Loved all the characters! They each have a quirky personality to them, some darker than others. The story was well written and easy to follow along. The plot twists were great and kept you to the edge of your seat not wanting to put it down! There is spice that will make you melt and swoon and I recommend reading the TW before heading into this funny dark story about a town with a witch that dishes out a powerful but silent revenge! Can't wait for book 2!
This was such a good read to start off 2026! Loved all the characters! They each have a quirky personality to them, some darker than others. The story was well written and easy to follow along. The plot twists were great and kept you to the edge of your seat not wanting to put it down! There is spice that will make you melt and swoon and I recommend reading the TW before heading into this funny dark story about a town with a witch that dishes out a powerful but silent revenge! Can't wait for book 2!
March 23, 2026
Loved this book
As a Pagan Witch I HIGHLY approve of this book, lol.
Thank you for also including the meanings of the Irish slang. It was so convenient. I hate having to Google every time a writer says a cute nickname in another language.
Also big thanks for explaining Samhain and the pronunciation. When movies and TV shows butcher the word I just scream... dude... Google is your friend. SMH.
I loved how you created this magical world without it being overly supernatural. I am gifted myself, and I felt very familiar to Genie... minus the poison and hot Irish Butcher ;)
As a Pagan Witch I HIGHLY approve of this book, lol.
Thank you for also including the meanings of the Irish slang. It was so convenient. I hate having to Google every time a writer says a cute nickname in another language.
Also big thanks for explaining Samhain and the pronunciation. When movies and TV shows butcher the word I just scream... dude... Google is your friend. SMH.
I loved how you created this magical world without it being overly supernatural. I am gifted myself, and I felt very familiar to Genie... minus the poison and hot Irish Butcher ;)
May 3, 2026
Love the concept of this book. The execution was so good and the ribbing and banter along the way. Genie the resident witch meets Cia’ran the butcher. Sparks fly but a misunderstanding has some hilarious antics happening. Don’t annoy a witch. The plot to this book was so good and all the building tension and mystery surrounding the boys. Bernie intrigued me along with Theo so I can’t wait to start Bernie’s book. If you like good banter and ribbing, witches, mystery and sexy alpha males and a bit of revenge and more you’ll like this one.
January 26, 2026
I have never really read a book that dealt with witches. Was never my thing. But u decided to give this a try. And I was not disappointed. Genie had me cackling right along with her. And Ciaran was great. The two of them together was just the absolute best. Being a dark romcom, I can honestly say I fell in love with this. The banter between them was great. And the depth of this book kept me turning the pages waiting for what came next. It was an absolute blast to read this book.
May 28, 2026
Town witch and the Irish butcher! There is some dark themes, but there is also a good amount of romcom for balance. They both have secrets that slowly come to light. I cant wait to find the next book in the series!
🖤Dark Humor
🩷Butcher
🖤Witch
🎧 Narrated by Danni Deguire- she did a wonderful job with the accents!
🌶️🌶️
📍 England.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
🖤Dark Humor
🩷Butcher
🖤Witch
🎧 Narrated by Danni Deguire- she did a wonderful job with the accents!
🌶️🌶️
📍 England.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
October 31, 2025
I ate this book up!!!! Ugh it was so good!! The plot held me captive and the witchy vibes were SO GOOD! Love when an author can incorporate witchcraft in a non “Hollywood” way! I loved everything about Genie! She’s an absolute bad a$$ of a witch, and hers and Ciaráns banter is everything! I can’t wait to get to the next book!!
May 11, 2026
Dark, Witchy and HILARIOUS
This is my vibe a thousand times over! This had me cackling, smiling and stressing. Such a fun read!
We love a firey FMC on the path to rid the world of horrible men.
If you love your reads dark, funny and witchy, with a touch of a delicious Irish man then buckle up because this is exactly what you need!
This is my vibe a thousand times over! This had me cackling, smiling and stressing. Such a fun read!
We love a firey FMC on the path to rid the world of horrible men.
If you love your reads dark, funny and witchy, with a touch of a delicious Irish man then buckle up because this is exactly what you need!
October 27, 2025
I really enjoyed this story. The characters are all so intriguing. Ciarán and Genie make a great pair. There’s just enough mystery to add a little something extra to the overall romance. I can’t wait to see what comes next for all of these characters!
April 19, 2026
Fantastic story and it had me laughing so much
May 28, 2026
Loved this book so much, absolutely devoured it!
A Dark Rom Com with small town witchy vibes and a sexy Irish MMC
A Dark Rom Com with small town witchy vibes and a sexy Irish MMC
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews