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The Myth of Good Christian Parenting: How False Promises Betrayed a Generation of Evangelical Families
Christian parents want to raise their kids in a godly way. But what if we've been sold a promise that "biblical parenting" can never deliver?
In The Myth of Good Christian Parenting, Marissa Franks Burt and Kelsey Kramer McGinnis explore how the Christian parenting book industry has shaped, and often strained, families over the past five decades, continuing into the present day. Drawing on history, sociology, theology, and survey responses from adult children and parents, they trace the rise of Christian parenting empires that idealize obedient kids and perfect households—but often leave parents and children feeling like they'll never measure up.
The authors also analyze popular Christian parenting teachings. They argue that these teachings on authority, compliance, corporal punishment, and control have had lasting effects on family dynamics and spiritual identity—including loss of faith, estrangement, religious trauma, and deep regret for many older parents. This book equips Christian parents, adults thinking critically about their upbringing, and church leaders to pursue a new path of freedom and mutual respect within their families.
In The Myth of Good Christian Parenting, Marissa Franks Burt and Kelsey Kramer McGinnis explore how the Christian parenting book industry has shaped, and often strained, families over the past five decades, continuing into the present day. Drawing on history, sociology, theology, and survey responses from adult children and parents, they trace the rise of Christian parenting empires that idealize obedient kids and perfect households—but often leave parents and children feeling like they'll never measure up.
The authors also analyze popular Christian parenting teachings. They argue that these teachings on authority, compliance, corporal punishment, and control have had lasting effects on family dynamics and spiritual identity—including loss of faith, estrangement, religious trauma, and deep regret for many older parents. This book equips Christian parents, adults thinking critically about their upbringing, and church leaders to pursue a new path of freedom and mutual respect within their families.
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Published October 14, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
November 16, 2025
I will come back and further comment on this book once I’ve had some time to let its ideas marinate, but this is a book that everyone who’s grown up in a Christian home or raised/is raising children should read, no matter where you fall on the parenting spectrum of theological beliefs.
This book is healing. Not because my parents were bad, abusive parents. They were truly doing the best they knew how with the resources available to them in the 80s and 90s. This book is healing as I make sense of my childhood and why I turned out the way I have. This book is healing because of all the reservations I’ve had about popular evangelical parenting advice that I’ve read, practiced, and failed. It also perhaps shed light on why my struggle as a teacher to “control my class” carried over into my parenting, and why I gravitated to Christian parenting books based on authoritative beliefs. There is a better way to parent as we look to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.
This book is healing. Not because my parents were bad, abusive parents. They were truly doing the best they knew how with the resources available to them in the 80s and 90s. This book is healing as I make sense of my childhood and why I turned out the way I have. This book is healing because of all the reservations I’ve had about popular evangelical parenting advice that I’ve read, practiced, and failed. It also perhaps shed light on why my struggle as a teacher to “control my class” carried over into my parenting, and why I gravitated to Christian parenting books based on authoritative beliefs. There is a better way to parent as we look to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.
October 11, 2025
The Proof is in the Fruit
I recently read an advanced copy of "The Myth of Good Christian Parenting" by Marissa Franks Burt and Kelsey Kramer McGinnis. I wish I'd had this resource when my sons were little. Instead, I became caught up in the "prosperity gospel" of Christian parenting, believing that if I followed the advice of self-proclaimed "experts," my family would be blessed. As it turns out, many of those experts weren't preaching the Bible (in context) at all. Instead, they were selling a formula that made them look good, helped them establish publishing empires, and convinced parents that if the practices didn't work for them, Satan and "the world" were to blame. Now, generations after the first Christian Parenting books hit the shelves, we cannot deny that the primary fruits of these teachings are abuse, frustrated children, and broken families.
More and more adults are going no-contact with parents, many of whom still don’t understand where they went wrong. After all, they followed the protocol set down by their pastors, teachers, and other “experts.” They kept their kids separated from the world, educated them at home, wouldn’t let them develop their own identities, and taught them to be immediately and unquestioningly obedient.
But children grow up, and those previously silenced generations are leaving the churches that promoted abusive materials in record numbers. Survivors are exposing the pain they’ve endured in the name of “good Christian parenting.”
On the bright side, repentant parents are listening and accepting responsibility for the emotional and physical trauma they brought into their home by following church-recommended curricula over their God-given instincts—and actual Scripture (like Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21). They’re apologizing to their children and making amends.
For both parents and children, reading "The Myth of Good Christian Parenting" is a significant step in the healing process.
I recently read an advanced copy of "The Myth of Good Christian Parenting" by Marissa Franks Burt and Kelsey Kramer McGinnis. I wish I'd had this resource when my sons were little. Instead, I became caught up in the "prosperity gospel" of Christian parenting, believing that if I followed the advice of self-proclaimed "experts," my family would be blessed. As it turns out, many of those experts weren't preaching the Bible (in context) at all. Instead, they were selling a formula that made them look good, helped them establish publishing empires, and convinced parents that if the practices didn't work for them, Satan and "the world" were to blame. Now, generations after the first Christian Parenting books hit the shelves, we cannot deny that the primary fruits of these teachings are abuse, frustrated children, and broken families.
More and more adults are going no-contact with parents, many of whom still don’t understand where they went wrong. After all, they followed the protocol set down by their pastors, teachers, and other “experts.” They kept their kids separated from the world, educated them at home, wouldn’t let them develop their own identities, and taught them to be immediately and unquestioningly obedient.
But children grow up, and those previously silenced generations are leaving the churches that promoted abusive materials in record numbers. Survivors are exposing the pain they’ve endured in the name of “good Christian parenting.”
On the bright side, repentant parents are listening and accepting responsibility for the emotional and physical trauma they brought into their home by following church-recommended curricula over their God-given instincts—and actual Scripture (like Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21). They’re apologizing to their children and making amends.
For both parents and children, reading "The Myth of Good Christian Parenting" is a significant step in the healing process.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews