Inspiration Porn: Essays

by Ryan O'Connell

Hilarious and bawdy musings on disability, sex, family, and Hollywood, from Emmy-winning writer and creator of the Netflix series Special. This program is read by the author.

"[Ryan] O’Connell’s high-spirited reading makes this one of the most entertaining audiobooks of the year." —Library Journal on Just by Looking at Him (Starred Review)

For years, Ryan O'Connell wished he was different. Raised in a small Southern California beach town described as "Laguna Beach with meth," his dad had taken off for greener pastures, and his alcoholic mom packed him lunches that wouldn't win any Top Quickfire challenges. On top of that, he had to be disabled and gay?! Luckily, Ryan always had a love for writing. There, he could “construct the narrative of my life before anyone can construct it for me.” In essays that range from the poignant to the side-splitting, Ryan takes us along as he grapples with addiction, navigates the early days of writing for online media in NYC, and uses his voice to gain entrance into the cutthroat world of Hollywood, where he becomes a sought-after writer and creator. In other essays he asks the very important "Are Straight People Okay?" (short answer is no), explores the battle between your IRL vs URL identity, and ruminates on the healing power of being gay and on vacation. Finally, Ryan opens up his committed relationship and becomes a slut for the first time, keeping a diary of his sexual misadventures, and bravely healing his soul through his hole.

In the tradition of writers like Samantha Irby and David Sedaris, INSPIRATION PORN is a candid and often raunchy look at a life lived without apologies.

A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press

Genres: Memoir, LGBT, Queer, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Essays, Biography Memoir

Audible Audio

Published May 26, 2026

About the author

Ryan O’Connell is a writer and professional feeler of emotions living in Los Angeles. He’s written for Thought Catalog, Vice, The New York Times, Medium, and other publications, as well as for MTV’s Awkward. I’m Special is his first book.

Reviews

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC for review. To be published May 26, 2026.

4 stars

Millennial, writer of books and for TV, actor, gay man, person living with CP…I have not much in common with this man and I had never heard of him or his TV show or books, but I enjoyed this. He comes from a fairly dysfunctional home with a raging alcoholic for a mom and growing up both gay and with CP were two big hurdles for him. He eventually made his way as a blogger, then in Hollywood where he still works today. We read stories about that and about his open relationship with his boyfriend which sounds….complicated. I don’t know that I could do it, but glad it works for them. He mostly seems like a pretty good guy with a nice life.

[Richard Propes · Rating 4 out of 5]

The minute you hear the name Ryan O'Connell, you're likely to think to yourself "Where do I know that name from?"

Likely most known as the Emmy-winning writer/creator of the Netflix series "Special," O'Connell's "Inspiration Porn" likely isn't what you're expecting it to be. As someone who is currently the subject of a documentary where my only request to the filmmaker was to not turn it into "inspiration porn," I'll admit I approached "Inspiration Porn" with slightly different expectations. Once I let go of those expectations, I had quite a bit of fun with this frequently hilarious, even more frequently bawdy, and also incredibly revealing through the life of O'Connell. Disability, sex, family, and Hollywood aren't taboo here. In fact, they're the point.

Raised in a small Southern California beach town, O'Connell's childhood was chaotic even without the basic truths that he was both disabled, with cerebral palsy, and gay. However, O'Connell figured out pretty early on that he had a love for writing and a gift for it.

If you're timid, "Inspiration Porn" isn't likely for you. If you're uncomfortable with fairly open depictions of addiction, being gay, sex, being slutty, and/or just plain real life then "Inspiration Porn" isn't likely for you.

Think Samantha Irby. Think a bawdier Sedaris.

Think O'Connell. I was only modestly familiar with O'Connell's work prior to diving into "Inspiration Porn," a collection of essays surprisingly poignant alongside naughtiness galore.

"Inspiration Porn" is unapologetically free and open, a laugh-out-loud collection that also taps into the emotions and frequently becomes relatable even if you're not gay, disabled, or even remotely talented.

O'Connell is talented. If we didn't know that before, we'll know that after reading "Inspiration Porn."

[Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

i rate all works of this nature 5 ⭐️ because it isn’t my place to judge their words, experiences and feelings.

I really liked the vibe of this book. As a millennial, it just gave unapologetic millennial in the best way. The author is so unapologetically himself in every way, and so many of us could take a couple notes of
following on that path.

I enjoyed the audiobook. I feel like I could just chat with him for hours. It was good, pretty light and almost sexually surface level?

My only wishes was more depth. At times I felt like he stayed really surface level to protect himself, which i get.. but as he continued to be unapologetically himself through his entries, i wished i got more of the depth behind the stories. It felt like a diary, which I did enjoy, so that the only piece that was missing for me.

[Matt Chisling (MattyandtheBooks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Buckle up for a memoir that has a deep beating heart... buried underneath other animal instincts that make this one helluva wild, hilarious ride.

Ryan O'Connell's unique celebrity status as a face (the face?) of being queer and disabled in mainstream pop culture gives him a unique perspective on celebrity, identity, and sexuality. In his second collection of essays about his life, the TV writer, author, actor, and gay person spends some time digging into his own past - addiction, estrangement, blogging - as well as his newfound romantic boundaries with his partner (Spoiler alert, the boundaries have widened!)

O'Connell is unafraid of poking fun at himself, or perhaps stabbing himself with sharp shards of broken glass. The writing is self-deprecating and raw, but it is always full of laughs. He lets you in on the joke so that your guard is down, and then lands the gut punch: the fear of loneliness, the fear of being left behind. The fear of never finding love. The fear of having that love and giving it up for other pleasures.

You don't need to have watched and loved Special or Queer as Folk to savor this work. This exploration of millennial identity - particularly in a disabled, queer body - is worthwhile for an entire generation to discover.

Thanks to St. Martin's Press for my gifted copy!

[Philip · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first few essays are a bit rough, but provide a necessary foundation for the excellent two essays that conclude the book. Note, the second last essay takes up almost a third of the entire book - this was my favourite, entitled The Slut Diaries.

McConnell has a finger on the pulse of what it means to be a gay man in this current climate - he’s funny, vulnerable, insightful - I felt seen and understood -

“I think Eli gave me chlamydia.”

“When you are one of the only gays at the wedding it can feel a little bit like social work.”

[Luzie]

as someone who's also queer and has cerebral palsy, this book just really struck a chord with me. I had multiple moments of "so it's not just me then"

[Cara Kupferman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ryan O’Connell is voicey, candid, vulnerable, and seriously funny in this memoir/essay collection. Inspiration Porn is ostensibly about what it looks like when life exceeds your wildest dreams, in Ryan’s case as a disabled gay man who has built a shining career as a writer in Hollywood and beyond. But under the surface, there is long-held insecurity, an unstable childhood with an alcoholic mother and checked out father, struggles with intimacy, and his own drug and alcohol problems. Especially on audio, this book reads like a juicy gossip sesh with a friend who has been through it all and is willing to divulge the good, bad, and ugly. Fans of O’Connell’s previous work—from Netflix’s Special to his previous books—will appreciate this deeper look under the hood. And anyone who sees themselves in a millennial, gay, disabled man or who has struggled with self-esteem and intimacy—myself included!—will get something from this great collection. Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for a free ALC in exchange for an honest review.

[Steven Nolan · Rating 5 out of 5]

i have never read something more honest and direct. i always wonder how far a writer will go in exposing himself even when it’s uncomfortable/how far anyone is really willing to go. ryan o’connell goes there.

it’s fascinating to read this back to back with his novel: highly recommend reading the novel then this.

can’t stop thinking about the time i noticed him in ptown and told him i admired his tv show and first set of essays. he was so generous and kind in his response, and i never considered that he was getting bombarded with praise.

anyways, i’m a huge fan. 5’s are rare for me. ryan o’connell is one of my favorite writers.

[Phillipsbooknook · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this story. Ryan writes this story with honesty being candid about his life both positive, negative and everything in between. Dealing with cerebral palsy, substance use disorder, and sexuality. He also explores the struggle of navigating Hollywood both in front and behind the camera. He offers advice that is so hilarious that you forget he is trauma dumping due to his comedic approach which he mentions is due to his processing of his trauma. It was a great read to kick off pride!

[Bin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Vulnerable, hilarious, witty, and unabashed. As a self determined Gen Z I was a little concerned reading this and understanding basically every reference

[Ryan Podlashes · Rating 5 out of 5]

a quick read to-and-from work. was cracking UP, very vulnerable and raw. the audiobook was perfect, was like i was listening to a friend talk for hours :)

[Thadeus · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love reading anything that Ryan writes! He is an amazing writer! This collection of essays were funny, heart breaking and amazing. Thanks NetGalley!

[Mandi Kurth · Rating 1 out of 5]

I absolutely loved "You're Special... and Other Lies They Tell You" so I thought this one would also be incredibly enjoyable. I don't think essay style is something Ryan should keep pursuing. This book was INSANELY repetitive. The amount of times that it is mentioned he has/had a drug addiction, alcohol addition, hit by a car, and other things is too much. There's even a line in this book that says "these long blog posts should've stayed short blog posts" and that's exactly how I felt about this book. Every time I picked it up to continue, my first thought was "why am I still continuing this". Finishing it felt like a chore. I stayed up late just so I wouldn't have to give it another day. I know this sounds rough but I normally really enjoy Ryan's writing and storytelling but there was something annoying and obnoxious about this book.

Thank you NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for an early copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[B K178 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fans of Ryan O’Connell’s Netflix show *Special* will definitely appreciate this deep dive into his life before and after the show. *Inspiration Porn* is Ryan’s autobiography, where he openly discusses growing up as a millennial with cerebral palsy and dealing with addictions. He covers his childhood, family, relationships, sex, drugs, body image, writing, and Hollywood.

Like *Special*, O’Connell uses humor to tackle topics that are not often discussed in mainstream media. He also narrates this audiobook, and I appreciated his honesty and openness. His humor can be quite raunchy, and at times, I found myself really wanting to hear his story without that facade. However, since this is his personal story, it’s somewhat unfair to criticize how he chooses to tell it.

As a queer, disabled person, much of his story is relatable. I believe it resonates beyond disability, addiction, and sexuality — it’s really more of a coming-of-age story for Mmllennials. It’s about learning to accept who you are, persevere, and find your chosen family. Thanks to Macmillan Audio for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This is a review of the audiobook.

[Ethan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ryan O'Connell is probably best known for his TV work on shows like Queer as Folk and Special. I've never seen his shows, so my first introduction to O'Connell came when I read his debut novel, Just by Looking at Him, a couple of years ago. Only after reading and learning a bit more about the author did I realize that much of that story mirrored aspects of his own life.

Like the protagonist of that novel, O’Connell is a gay man living with Cerebral Palsy. He's been candid about his struggles with addiction, self-worth, and navigating the world with a disability. His writing blends sharp humor, vulnerability, and a willingness to engage with darker subjects without ever losing sight of just how absurd life can be. It made Just by Looking at Him a standout read and left me eager to explore more of his work. That opportunity has finally arrived with Inspiration Porn, a collection of autobiographical essays that promises the same honesty, wit, and unflinching self-examination that made his fiction so compelling.

Much of the first half of the book centers on O’Connell’s past. He writes about parents who fell out of love, a mother struggling with addiction, and a father who was off chasing the life he had always wanted—a life that, at least initially, didn’t seem to include his family. Amid all of this, O’Connell was grappling with being both disabled and gay. Through his trademark humor, he often frames it as if the universe had singled him out for an especially cruel joke. Couldn’t he have been just one of those things?

It should come as little surprise, then, that he eventually found himself struggling with addiction as well. Throughout those difficult years, writing became a refuge. On the page, writing for blogs and then TV, he found a place where he could be honest about who he was. It became a source of freedom, connection, and self-acceptance.

While much of this first section was compelling, it also felt like stories I'd heard before. It was in the second half of the collection that O’Connell truly took us into something different. There’s a universal experience many queer people can relate to. So much of our formative years are spent coming to terms with our sexuality that we don’t always get the chance to fully embrace it. I think about the occasional pang of jealousy I feel when I see queer teenagers going to prom together. I'm thankful that the world has evolved enough for them to feel safe doing this, but it's an opportunity that simply wasn’t available to me.

O’Connell explores a similar feeling after meeting his longtime partner, Jonathan. Just as he begins settling into a committed relationship, he’s struck by the fear that he may have missed out on an entire chapter of his life. It’s a kind of FOMO of sexual exploration. In true Ryan O’Connell fashion, he tackles that anxiety with equal parts humor and honesty, chronicling the decision to open his relationship and the resulting adventures in what he calls his "Slut Diaries."

As many laughs as there are in this portion of the book, it would be easy to overlook its deeper exploration of boundaries—of desire, emotional well-being, physical limitations, and, most importantly, the strength of a long-term partnership. Throughout it all, O’Connell maintains the balance of humor, chaos, vulnerability, and authenticity that makes his voice so distinctive. His life may look very different from that of many readers, but the emotions driving these essays are universal. The longing for connection, the fear of missing out, the struggle to accept ourselves, and the desire to be truly seen transcend the specifics of O'Connell's story. Inspiration Porn is the work of a writer willing to venture into uncomfortable territory—for himself and for his readers—and the result is a book that will have you buckled with laughter in one moment and deep in contemplation the next.

[Cole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Macmillan Audio for the #gifted copy in exchange for an honest review! #MacAudio2006
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨

In this memoir, Ryan O'Connell (from Netflix’s Special and Peacock’s Queer as Folk reboot) muses about his life as a millennial in the social media era. This memoir is set after he has completed both shows, and illustrates how cutthroat Hollywood can be. He talks about his personal safe haven of Provincetown, spending time there with both his blood family and chosen family. He discusses his writing career as an opportunity to construct his own narrative, and represent himself when no one else would. Lastly, he discusses his open relationship, and how that has shaped his understanding of himself.

There’s no way to sugarcoat it: this memoir is equal parts raunchy and awkward; and that’s exactly what made it so much fun to listen to. There’s no stone left unturned in this memoir: family and personal substance use and addiction, coming to terms with queer identity, identifying as a sexual being and not limited to his cerebral palsy, and everything in-between. I was a big fan of Special, so listening to this audiobook being narrated by the author himself only added to the quirky and queer humor. There were laugh-out-loud anecdotes and hijinks moments, but there were also periods of deep reflection on addiction, sexual orientation, and relationship fulfillment. O’Connell doesn’t want to be your inspiration p0rn, he’s doing just fine tysm. He’s known for his authenticity and passionate storytelling, including humor that gay millennials will absolutely love, making him one of the most compelling queer voices of a generation. I strongly recommend giving this one a read, listen if you can!

Reviewed as part of an #ARC from #NetGalley.

Read this book if you:
🖤 loved the dark humor in Jennette McCurdy’s I’m Glad My Mom Died
🙄 hate hearing any marginalized group being asked, “where do you get all your confidence from?”
💻 had a LiveJournal, whether you want to admit it or not!

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[Matt · Rating 3 out of 5]

I requested this ARC because couple of years ago I read Ryan O’Connell’s novel Just By Looking At Him and really enjoyed it.
I appreciated the MMC’s snarky sense of humor and now after reading this memoir, I realize that although it was fiction, the MMC was Ryan.

This book started out showing a huge amount of vulnerability discussing a difficult childhood and having a mother who turned into a complete alcoholic after his parent’s divorced.
I enjoyed it and related a lot.
I respected him being able to write out personal things for strangers to read.
It kind of read like something from Augusten Burroughs or David Sedaris, but in the voice of a Millennial.

I started to lose interest in the middle of the book.
It talked a lot about the cutthroat entertainment industry; I used to live in LA and know enough about “the industry” to know that I’d never want to work in it.
LA and NYC are both places where you can be very well paid, yet judged and treated like crap everyday.

The rest of the book was mostly about his sexcapades.
Hear me out, I am FAR from a prude!
I used to have a job that put me in hotel rooms in random cities and countries and sure, I had certain apps on my phone.
And now part of my job is encouraging gay men to get on PrEP if they aren’t already.
I’d never judge anyone for hooking up, drinking too much, or having an eating disorder because I’ve filled all of those shoes at certain junctures in my life.
I kind of just wish he’d focused more on the solution versus “war stories”, but at the same time, I know what sells the best at the end of the day in Hollywood.

Thanks to NetGalley, St. Martin’s Press, and especially Ryan O’Connell for providing me with an ARC to review!

[Lindsay McLaughlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars rounded up to 4!

I decided to pick up Inspiration Porn since I had read Ryan O'Connell's novel a few years back and loved it (5 stars!). In retrospect I'm not sure if a memoir/essay collection was quite the right pick for me since I'm not a huge nonfiction person, but overall I had a good time with this one. O'Connell brings a unique perspective to working in Hollywood and media - I really enjoyed hearing about what it was like working in "listicle" media since that time period of the internet feels somehow both like it was forever ago but also how was that already 12+ years ago??

I read this via audio, which is narrated by O'Connell himself which I really appreciate as it adds so much to the experience. This collection of essays had a constant mix of serious topics along with lots of jokes and more light-hearted moments mixed it. This mix didn't always land for me unfortunately, but I will say that this combination did make the heavy topics that were being discussed (alcohol and drug abuse, ableism, difficult family relationships, among some others) feel less intense.

I haven't picked up O'Connell's previous nonfiction nor have I watched his show Special or some of the other projects he's worked on, but I get the feeling if you are a fan of these and want a further look behind the curtain you'd really enjoy this as well. That being said, considering I'm not one of those people I don't think you have to be a previous fan to get something out of this one either.

[Jessica Johnson (jess_l_lovessmut) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you so much to St. Martin's Press & Macmillan Audio. These honest opinions are my own

I would give more stars if I could just for the mere bravery of how he put himself out there. I think I found a new bestie. This was such a wild ride and if I learned anything from this, don't drink alcohol. I witnessed it almost destroy this brilliant human being. We are so lucky that he pulled through all his obstacles because now we get to experience his incredible wit, humor, and love that flows through each page.

I felt the honesty as if I was talking to one of my closest friends. I also witnessed his mistakes and he owned them, while it can be so easy to sweep them under the rug. This brings me to Jonathan. OH he has to be some kind of special. There was a part I wanted to throw my book, but even as Ryan explained the situation, I felt how strongly Jonathan felt for Ryan. Everyone needs a Jonathan.

I laughed so hard, I cried just as hard, but more than anything, I felted honored to be able to read this and be a part of so much he experienced. The good the bad and literally everything in between and beyond.

Highly recommend the audio, it is read but the one and only Ryan. This was the first time I did not have to speed it up at all!

꧁𝓠𝓾𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼꧂

𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙧𝙚𝙟𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙛𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙪𝙧𝙚. 𝙉𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 “𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙛” 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙛𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙪𝙧𝙚.

𝙄 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙖 𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙚 𝙛𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛. 𝙄 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣’𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬���𝙧𝙡𝙙.

[Jacob Blank · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspiration Porn marks a maturation of Ryan O'Connell's voice as well as a willingness to push deeper and introspect without the limitation of keeping things light and bloggy. It's still silly, of course, but lacks the Millennial shield reflex to laugh everything off (we've truly suffered). This book is about the time in your life where you become more comfortable with not laughing it off and still choosing to do so because processing and happiness can coexist. I think this is a real boon for contemporary Gay Guy Lit which is a noble cause to root for in this day and age (where did all the gay guy writers go?).

The section on coming-of-age through a LiveJournal account had me vibrating. That era was captured perfectly, soundtrack and all. Much of this book is grappling with reality vs construction/wanting to be vs being- a central tension of a generation that grew up broadcasting their own reality tv shows through microblogs.

Refreshingly backing off from making grand conclusions, this book is more about sharing the experience and leaving room for humanity. Discussions of eating disorders, addiction, sexcapades, and family are never scolding or apologetic.

This is an easy recommend to gay readers and anyone who is interested in the essay/memoir space.

Advance reader copy provided by NetGalley and St Martin's Press/Macmillan which does not influence my opinions or review.

[Nev · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Ryan O’Connell’s novel Just by Looking at Him when I read it a few years ago. So I was excited to pick up this collection of essays and experience Ryan’s voice in a nonfiction setting. Overall I just had a blast reading this. While some of the subject matter can be heavy, like discussing drug and alcohol addiction, difficult family members, and more, it’s all delivered in a humorous and accessible way.

Queerness, body image, disability, sex, open relationships, Hollywood, and so much more are covered throughout the book. I definitely appreciate how frank and honest Ryan is when giving a peak behind the curtain at different media outlets or TV shows or relaying stories that sometimes aren’t the most flattering.

I listened to this on audio, and I’d highly recommend consuming the book that way. Ryan narrates it himself and his energy, inflections, and overall performance really heightened the experience of reading the book.

Thank you to the publisher for providing an advance copy via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

[Mackenzie W · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having had Special on my watchlist for ages, I was eager to dive into Ryan O’Connell’s latest collection, Inspiration Porn (a title pulled directly from the trailer of the show). Reading these essays feels less like a formal memoir and more like a chaotic FaceTime call with a best friend. O’Connell’s voice is unmistakably loud and peppered with stream-of-consciousness interjections, all of which makes his writing so fun.

While the non-linear structure of the essays occasionally feels frantic, the (sometimes) chaotic timeline ultimately serves his brand. The first half is a vulnerable telling of familial tension, his evolving sobriety, and a fascinating look at his career trajectory from LiveJournal to Emmy-winning scripts. However, the latter half pivots sharply into his romantic and sexual escapades. While his raunchy honesty is hilarious, I found myself wishing we’d lingered a bit longer on the deeper, more introspective roots planted in the book's beginning.

I’m so glad the audiobook was narrated by the author – it made for a great listening experience! Thank you to Macmillan for providing both a physical galley and an ALC for review! All opinions are my own.

[Kirk · Rating 3 out of 5]

Am I a prude, is what I ask myself after finishing Inspiration Porn by Ryan O’Connell. I loved his Netflix series, Special, and read his fiction book, Just by Looking at Him. I’m going to have to reference “Horny” by Mousse T. about 80% of the subject matter of this book. “I'm horny. Horny, horny, horny. So horny. I'm horny, horny, horny. I'm horny. Horny, horny, horny.. So horny. I'm horny, horny, horny tonight.” Ryan delivers with the sexual escapades. He writes about his history of pill addiction and his open relationship with his long term boyfriend, Jonathan. Also, did you know he was hit by a car? Like it said in the synopsis, it is a “candid and often raunchy look at a life lived without apologies.” Ryan O’Connell narrates his own audiobook with the exact right inflection and emotion. I guess I am a prude because I didn’t enjoy hearing about his many sexual encounters. Glad you’re having more sex Ryan, I guess. ALC was provided by Macmillan Audio via NetGalley. I received an audiobook listening copy for free and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Ivi · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took me a while to warm up to Ryan O'Connell's writing style. I'd never heard of him or seen his show before picking this up, and the constant swearing was initially off-putting. I also found myself questioning whether the vulnerability on display was genuine or just another "act" he puts on, something he himself admits to doing in his younger years.

But I persevered, and I'm glad I did. There are genuinely good insights here. O'Connell has grit, determination, and clearly knows how show business works. His descriptions of navigating an ableist and beauty-focused world as a disabled gay man felt real and authentic. I wish there had been more of this and more depth overall.

Instead, there's an entire long essay about his "slut phase". The title says it all. It's sexual detail after sexual detail that I didn't need to know. What's the point of listing off sexcapades?

That said, the author is funny. And when he gets real about his experiences, it's worth reading.

Thanks to St. Martin's Press for the eARC.

[Kuu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ALC.

This was a fun memoir. I really like O'Connell's voice, which comes across really well through his writing. His narration, too, really allowed me to get a feel for his personality and what kind of person he is.

The way he talks about his experiences, the good, the bad, and the ugly, is really fun, and I appreciate how honest he can be with himself and his readers. You can tell a lot of healing has been done, and you can tell at times that he's just really tired of everyone's shit (I feel you) but still keeps his humour to deal with those experiences, which made for a really pleasant reading experience as someone who, to some degree, experiences similar attitudes as a queer, disabled person just out and about.

I really enjoyed listening to this audiobook, and its relatability especially was nice, but I would recommend this also to people who are not disabled and/or queer just because the author is a fun guy who is able to write about his experiences in a funny, accessible way.

[Chris Quinn · Rating 5 out of 5]

S/O and TY to NetGalley and the publishers St Martin’s Press and Macmillan Audio for allowing me to immersive read this title by providing the eArc and the audiobook.

A soul-baring memoir as a collection of essays. Narrated by the author in a casual and abridged format as some of the text is hyperlinks to Youtube videos and quotes that he mentions but doesn’t fully read out. The style if very casual and his personality really shines through with his unique voice and impressions. The content is really relatable in its poignant honesty; nostalgia for early aughts social media, body dysmorphia and eating disorders, gay sex and relationships. Having read this, seen the author’s tv show that’s semi-autobiographical but still totally fiction and read the author’s novel that's also semi-autobiographical but still totally fiction, I can say I’m a big fan of his writing.

I’d recommend this to readers who like heartfelt memoirs, intersectionality, and gay guys.

5/5 stars.

[Ariel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A raw and intimate look at Ryan's life, from vulnerable childhood moments to seemingly endless sexcapades. I didn't know who Ryan was before reading this book, so I had no expectations. I really enjoyed his stories about childhood, his dysfunctional family, thoughts on straight people, and living with cerebral palsy. I am happy he had found fulfillment in an open relationship, but personally I found the parts about his relationship with Jonathan, their growth together, much more interesting than the more superficial sexual interactions.

It's funny how different lives Ryan and I live, despite being both disabled queer(ish, for me) people. My disability usually involves trying to make people believe my disability is serious and real, rather than people automatically and awkwardly seeing me as disabled. Dismissal is much more common than inappropriate comments about inspiration. And I never have sex, lol, I do not have the energy.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

An incredibly honest, unapologetic and laugh out loud funny memoir from Queer as Folk celeb Ryan O'Connell and his slutty life with cerebral palsy, disordered eating, addiction/alcohol abuse. O'Connell shares about his up and down relationship with his alcoholic mother, the car accident that took a long time to recover from, his love of sex and his open relationship with his partner and fellow Queer as Folk star.

The tv personality slash writer talks about his flaws openly and does not apologize or pretend that he's perfect but that it's okay and this is his disabled, joyful life. Great on audio narrated by the author himself and highly recommended for fans of disability or celeb memoirs like Deaf utopia or Famesick. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital and audio copy in exchange for my honest review.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had a lot of fun reading this! It’s a book of essays that dive into Ryan’s experience as a millennial coming up in the internet age as a blogger (remember LiveJournal? ThoughtCatalog?) before leveraging his trademark wit and honest style to writing a book and later, TV (specials and other series you’ve definitely heard of 👀).

Throw in the intersections of being disabled and gay: there’s a wealth of content to draw from. Three cheers for #OwnVoices!

It’s raw, funny, insightful, and completely honest. “Millennilol” was my favourite, because yeah, elder millennial here 🙋 but there was so much to love in this, it’s difficult to choose.

Thanks so much to St. Martins Press for the free book!

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[Guillermo Perez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alright so I’ve been reading @ryanoconn latest collection of essays and of course, have been having a gay ‘ol time with it. This work feels all encompassing of his universe that includes his last novel JUST BY LOOKING AT HIM and his two season show, SPECIAL (on Netflix), and really gives us a behind the scenes look at his rise from blogger to writer room for popular shows and ultimately having his own show greenlit and airing post pandemic. Much like his previous work it is introspective, raw (figuratively and in some of his essays literally) but always with wit and sense of humor. If you like David Sedaris, Lena Dunham etc you’ll enjoy this. Thanks @netgalley and @stmartinspress for this one! OUT NOW