Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl: Essays

by Amena Brown

An irresistible delight, this hilarious and heartwarming essay collection gathers essential tales about growing up in the South, the pitfalls of date night, and why no one should ever tell a Black girl how to Black Girl.

Black women always find a place to in the natural hair aisle, at Beyoncé concerts, even online in memes and catchphrases. This book is one of those a living room where readers can contemplate how a well-picked afro can defy the laws of physics and why boob sweat has to exist in the first place. Here, Black Girl is a verb. Here, Black women can Black Girl in every way we want to.

Amena Brown’s book Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl blends storytelling, humor, and pop culture commentary to traverse the magic and wisdom she's gleaned from being raised by Southern Black women, and supported by the community of Black women who hold her down today. After graduating from the International Black Girl Headquarters (the renowned HBCU Spelman College), Amena has built a career telling stories and celebrating Black womanhood. In her book, she shares stories of dancing in Janelle Monae's "Tightrope" music video and partnering with Tracee Ellis Ross to compose odes to natural hair. She imparts essential life lessons from the Real Housewives of Atlanta, and tells hair tales, including wisdom on the ideal style for her first speaking gig at Essence Fest (box braids, 100 percent).

In the end, Brown shares that Black women are a whole world. A galaxy of customs, language, code, and unspoken understandings, all explored with humor and heart in this unforgettable book.

Genres: Nonfiction, Race, Essays, Audiobook, Memoir, African American, Adult

320 pages, Hardcover

First published June 16, 2026

About the author

Amena Brown is a spoken word poet, performing artist, and event host whose work interweaves keep-it-real storytelling, rhyme, and humor. The author of five spoken word albums and two non-fiction books, Amena has garnered national attention in media outlets such as Ebony Magazine, Huffington Post, and Belong Magazine. Amena recently wrote and collaborated with award-winning actress, producer, and activist Tracee Ellis Ross on the Manifesta for Ross’ natural hair product line, PATTERN.

A proud graduate of Spelman College, some of Amena’s most popular spoken word videos are “Letter to My Hair,” where she writes about her natural hair journey, “Dear TV Sitcoms,” a nostalgic piece about the lessons we can learn from sitcoms, “Girlfriends Poem,” where she writes about the importance of friendship among women, and “For the Women” a poem she wrote to honor women of color for International Women’s Day. Collectively these poems have reached over 200,000 views on Facebook Video.

Reviews

[Stanjay Daniels]

This collection of essays resonated deeply with me—it was completely and unapologetically Black. It made me proud to be a Black woman, and it reaffirmed that I would choose Blackness in every lifetime. Moving through personal reflections, pop culture, and more, the author shows us what it looks like to live fully and authentically in our Black girl selves.

Books like this are timely, but they also feel timeless because history continues to show the immeasurable impact of Black women. We are everywhere, woven into the fabric of this country, even when we aren’t acknowledged or respected. Our tapestry is so rich, so layered, so undeniable that our belonging is never in question.

The author’s strong, thought-provoking, whimsical, and humorous writing held my attention the entire time.

[Jen J.]

Loved this book! I listened on audio but immediately ordered a hardcover book for annotations! It’s a Black Girl staple. Wonderful job Amena Brown!! 💜🎉🙌🏽

[Bookish Baddie ♡]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5/5

“Black Girl is a noun and a verb. I am a Black girl and I Black girl.”

That quote alone captures so much of what I loved about this book.

I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this collection. The audiobook was a 10/10 and, in my opinion, is the perfect way to experience it. Hearing Brown’s words performed aloud added another layer to the poetry—the emotion, rhythm, humor, confidence, vulnerability, and joy all came through so beautifully. And the spoken word performances? Such a nice treat! They made the experience feel less like I was simply listening to a book and more like I had a front-row seat to something personal and powerful.

There were moments that made me smile, moments that made me reflect, and plenty of moments that made me think, Whewwww… she said that! I especially loved the celebration of the many different ways Black girls and women get to exist. There is no single way to “Black girl,” and that message came through loud and clear.

Beautifully written, beautifully performed, and absolutely worth listening to rather than just reading on the page.

Black Girl is a noun AND a verb. 🖤

[Andre(Read-A-Lot)]

“Black Girl is a noun and a verb. I am a Black girl and I Black girl.” Amena Brown comes hard in this one! In this joyful collection of essays, ruminations, meditations, and handy advice, Ms. Brown runs the gamut from hair to relationships to church-going to food and drinks and on. All delivered in an elegant digestible mixture of humor and love.

I’m certain Black girls everywhere will love the content of these pages and will undoubtedly feel seen in the most beautiful ways. This was a joyful and affirming read and a loving salute to Black girls who continue to Black girl daily even in the face of bitterness and micro aggressions that are often faced daily. If one could choose their life course, and Black girls are ever asked the question, if you could start over again and go back, would you do it Black?

The definitive answer would be HELL YEAH! Despite all the obstacles and heartache and BS that comes with being a Black girl, as Amena Brown makes so evidently clear in this book, Black girls wouldn’t choose to be anything other than the Queens they are! Salute to you Ms. Brown for putting the shine on Black Girls! Thanks to NetGalley and Tiny Reparations books for an advanced DRC. Book is out now.

[Angie]

I recently read Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl by @amenabee. I'm geneally not a huge fan of books written as a collection of essays, but this one generally worked. The stories were interconnected enough that it was easy to follow along and the author's background as a comedic storyteller definitely comes through making this book one I would definitely recommend!

Amena describes growing up as a black girl in the US from her childhood experiences being raised by Southern Black women to attending Spelman, a college known for its premier black women's liberal arts education, where she truly found her community. Exploring topics such as hair care, pop culture, and unspoken understandings, this book is one that Black women will relate to, and everyone else can enjoy as an opportunity to learn about a fierce community of women while also leaving you at times smiling, surprised and evening reflecting.

Thanks to @netgalley and the publisher @tinyrepbooks for giving me the chance to read and review this book! It comes out this June, so don't forget to grab a copy!

[Jason Lavoie]

Thank you NetGalley, Dutton, and Tiny Reparations Books for the Advanced Reader’s Copy of Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl by Amena Brown. This collection of essays is to be published on June 16, 2026.

Every now and then, you read a book that just soothes the heart and soul. This book was that personified. The book exudes an unbelievable warmth and positive energy.

From the opening pages, the author is someone that you just can’t help but love. You feel the emotion in her writing and her stories and know she’s sincere and genuine.

Those who are young Gen-X or older Millennials can relate to the pop culture references regardless their race or gender. There is humour sprinkled throughout that is never forced and can be appreciated in the at times seriousness of the essay.

You can’t help but smile from chapter to chapter. Easily a five star read!

[Whitney]

This book is an authentic love letter to black womanhood.
The topics touched were all relevant to my childhood and just felt like the author was talking directly to me. I loved every moment. I listened and immediately purchased the hardcover to have in my library. This will be my new gift to the black women in my life. These essays are iconic and should be treated as such.

[Renita Cohill]

I really enjoyed this book. I love reading the perspective of the author. I am biracial and identify myself as black. The experiences are a bit different, but I can totally relate to this book. I highly recommend this read!

[Renee Dagenhart]

This book is why representation matters. I felt seen and heard. Both as a Black girl and as a Black girl in an interracial marriage.

[LiteraryMarie]

I am seen. I am really her. I Black Girl. (Yes, Black Girl is a verb here.)

Amena Brown's new nonfiction book, Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl, flawlessly blends true storytelling, humor and culture. She shares the wisdom gained from being raised by Southern Black women and supported by a community of Black women that hold her down to this day. There are stories about natural hair, attending an HBCU, meeting iconic celebrities, boob sweat, life lessons learned from RHOA and more.

Trust when I say you will relate! Just look at the cover and you can tell from the recognizable box braids that this book is for you. I am an annotation girlie and my advance readers' copy is full of highlighted passages, funny quotes and scenarios that I added my own commentary to in the margins. For example, I noted that I make the mac and cheese in my family too. This is an honor, y'all! I still use Queen Helene facial scrubs and masks. No other product leaves my skin glowing and pores unblocked. I could practically smell the Pink Oil Moisturizer through the page as I read along.

Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl: Essays are joyful, reaffirming and so Black-ass. *in my Jill Scott voice* Amena Brown did an excellent job writing about Black girls in a celebratory fashion. We are a whole world with unspoken understandings.

Happy Pub Day to Amena Brown! Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl: Essays is officially on shelves.

Disclaimer: An advance copy was received directly from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions are my own and would be the same if I spent my hard-earned coins. ~LiteraryMarie

[Alice]

this book was wunnaful- as grandma would say- funny, insightful, a great read - Amena is great at telling her stories whether about life, love, food or the realhoisewives-

thank you netgalley for the arc in exchange for an honest review

[Jami K]

Smart. Witty. Unapologetic. Refreshingly Honest. After reading this, I feel like Amena Brown is my new bestie. I feel like she might be slightly younger than me, but I was right there with her in all her 1980s, 90s and 00s references!! I learned so much and had so much fun - a lot of LOLing out loud. This is a must read for all women, but especially Black women. I like to think of myself as culturally aware, but I came away from this book with a deeper awareness of the never-ending challenges Black women have endured and an even greater appreciation for the importance of hearing their stories in their own voices. Amena's stories will live rent free in my head from here on out and I will always recommend this book. Only regret is reading the print copy vs audio since she narrates so I think I will have to listen down the road!

[Lalaa #ThisBlackGirlReads]

This book was like chicken soup for the Black girl soul. 🖤

I started with the audiobook, but about 20 pages in, I ordered the hardcover because I already knew I needed to underline, annotate, and read some of these beautiful poems out loud, and then read them again.

This is a love letter to Black women. To all our facets, all our shades, all our contradictions, our joy, our becoming. Brown reminds us that there is no single way to be a Black girl or a Black woman.

“Black Girl is a noun and a verb.”

Whew.

This book spoke to a part of my soul that needed to be seen. It celebrates the many ways we are beautiful, excellent, complicated, hilarious, resilient, and still works in progress.

I’d never read Amena Brown before, but she has officially been added to my list.
Some books you read. Some books feel like somebody sat beside you and said, Sis, I see you.
This was one of those books.

Beautiful, affirming, funny, vulnerable, and full of heart. A book I already know I’ll be gifting to the Black women in my life.

[This Kooky Wildflower Loves a Little Tea and Books]

It's a good read about not boxing oneself in with others' expectations, while enjoying the camaraderie and sisterhood of being a Black girl and a Black woman.

Most chapters made me smile, laugh, and want to cry; the chapters discussing her husband/marriage slowed the pacing. But overall, it's a worthwhile read.

4.5/5

[JAŸ - G]

Without a doubt I LOVE being a black girl and I ABSOLUTELY LOVED everything about this book.. Each chapter not only makes me feel seen but it let's me know that we ALL share a common black girl experience.. GREAT WORK!!

[Honey Papaya]

"Never tell a Black girl how to Black girl
We Black Girl in every way we want to...
We take up space and will not apologize for it"

A great and fun read with alot of heart

I'll have to get the audiobook at some point to listen to the poetry and some of my favorite essays

[Charise Jewell]

Lots of insight and funny stories. I especially loved the Super Moist cake chapter.

[Nikki Sims]

I agree with the concept. It was written from a witty,, yet interesting perspective.

[Hayley]

Laugh out loud funny. Full of love and insight.

[Brandi Dye]

The best part of being a Black Girl is sharing the experience with every other Black Girl. This book exemplifies this fact. Love it love it love it.

[Charlie]

Amena Brown's book is not just a book. It encapsulates everything I love about reading: pop culture references galore, great writing, and an author with hot takes that are as insightful as they are pointed. Brown's got stories and wit to spare and to be honest I kind of hope that there is Grandma Bertha Lee merch one day because 10/10 would purchase. I can think of few things that would be as thrilling as a tote bag for groceries that says "Here for the Super Moist" or a t-shirt that reads "Employee of the Month: Grandma Bertha Lee Telecommunications". The book would then turn into a kind of homing beacon for people who might be your people.

It's difficult to find great writing that flows as effortlessly as it does in Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl. It is apropos that Phoebe Robinson's genius is infused in founding Tiny Reparations, the publishing imprint of Penguin Random House under which this book was released. There are certain signatures that Black Excellence, and fantastic authors in general, leave behind in the work. Robinson has passed the torch with Tiny Reparations so that authors like Brown can grace our collective consciousness in a hilarious and meaningful way. I'm so glad and grateful for that!

After reading Brown's book I realized so much about Black girling that I didn't consider before. I was in a word, completely clueless. I read it as a white trans man who has been in interracial relationships before for example, and I see now how there's a certain kind of Black intimacy that you don't see the beauty of until you read books like this one. For example, an ex asked if I would oil her locs and it was something I did for her on occasion. Oiling and tending to hair means something fundamentally different in the context of Black womanhood, going beyond the "don't touch my hair" moniker (that epitomized the title of Phoebe Robinson's hilarious first book You Can't Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain). Had I known then, what this book helped me understand, I would've better appreciated what that might have meant. The book helped to attune me to the language of intimacy that is spoken in the dialect of Black Girl in Black women. I work at a library running programs for a variety of ages. Brown's book gave me a different way of looking at and appreciating the programs I develop, through a perspective of: Does this make enough space for Black Girl Magic? Would a Black Girl feel seen or need to take up less space?. It's less of an inclusivity paradigm and more just being a decent person, because who doesn't want to be seen for their whole selves? Even the reading circles I lead where there are grown adults, I wonder now if there are ways I can make space for someone's inner Black Girl to feel safe and seen. Brown's book is a terrific and powerful read.

The best books are the ones that leave you thinking, considering, and appreciating nuances in the world more than when you first read them. Brown's book? Nailed it and then some. I felt pretty seen in the parts about churching for example, because I grew up in the church (I stuck with Pentecostal churches because they had way better music than the Catholicism I was born into, even though 2SLGBTQ+ anything was pretty unwelcome). Though I find Truth, comfort, and life in Hindusim now, I found Brown's book healing for the former church kid in me who needed cis-het allies like her. Knowing that they exist is a salve and soothing balm. I also thought about how Black Trans Women deserve all of the beauty, comfort, and nourishment of Black Girl rituals in adulthood that they may not have been able to experience in their formative years while embodying cisgender standards, more than their authentic transness. I can also better see Black Trans women as they want to be seen for their own Black Girling. Even if it means just being able to silently behold that magic, and cherish how important it is to them, appreciating the glow of a person empowered by and in love with their Blackness, that's enough. The book is quick-witted, and covers a lot of ground, but make no mistake it will help you human better.

Comedy writing that is good tends to be great because of how easily authors can miss the mark. Brown's writing is melodically great and then some. Her humour doesn't try hard to win the reader over, and there were hilarious references that validated my Elder Millennialhood. I could easily see this book getting the Netflix treatment and becoming a sitcom series of some kind. Easily. There was also a heap of funny wisdom in her perspective on long-term relationships, finding couples to befriend as a couple, cooking, self-care, and more. I appreciated the humor and ire Brown held for people asking about her having kids, as the trans community also often gets over-the-top-invasive questions about medical everything. I'm a white dude but there was so much in this book that was relatable. Don't let the title leave you thinking it's for Black Girls only; It is, but by Amena Brown's graces, we get to bask in that brilliance too. There are so many more reasons to read this book.

I highly recommend this book and want to thank the publisher, Tiny Reparations (and Penguin Randomhouse), for the NetGalley eARC. I know I had a reading life before the book came along, but I can't imagine a world where this book doesn't exist now. I will certainly be recommending it through Readers' Advisory at the public library where I work and tidying up this review to post on the book review blog there too! It is Brown's first book of this kind and I hope it is joined by further releases. Thanks for writing such a great read!

[The Bourbon-Sipping Bibliophile]

🥃 ARC Review: Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl The literary equivalent of your auntie's living room — shoes off, opinions loud, bourbon optional but encouraged.

Author: Amena Brown
Genre: Nonfiction — Essays / Memoir / Pop Culture Commentary
Tropes: Black womanhood, natural hair journey, HBCU life, Southern upbringing, pop culture deep dives, sisterhood, found family, identity
Format: ARC via NetGalley
Series: Standalone
Drink Pairing: The Spelman Sidecar
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4/5) — Highly Enjoyed & Engaging

THE POUR
Listen. Some books walk into your life like a friend you've known forever but somehow just met. Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl is that friend — the one who shows up with snacks, a full bottle, and stories that make you laugh so hard you forget you were stressed.

Amena Brown is a Spelman-educated spoken word poet, storyteller, and certified Black Girl Expert (her resume includes dancing in Janelle Monae's "Tightrope" video and writing odes to natural hair with Tracee Ellis Ross, so yes, her credentials are impeccable). In this essay collection, she takes us through the full spectrum of Black girlhood — from Southern kitchens to HBCU campuses to the natural hair aisle at Target — and does it with the kind of humor and heart that makes you want to text every Black woman in your phone and say "you NEED this book."

This is not a lecture. This is a living room. Pull up a chair.

THE TASTING NOTES
Amena Brown is not a character in this book — she IS the book. Her voice is so distinct, so fully her own, that you can hear the cadence in every sentence. This is a woman who was raised by Southern Black women, sharpened at Spelman, and polished by a career in spoken word, and all of that shows up on every page. She writes the way your favorite auntie talks: funny first, wise underneath, and always — ALWAYS — keeping it real.

What makes this collection work is that Brown isn't trying to define Black womanhood for anyone. She's showing you hers — the hair stories, the boob sweat confessions, the Real Housewives of Atlanta life lessons, the box braids she chose for Essence Fest — and trusting that you'll see yourself somewhere in the telling. That's a bold move, and she pulls it off because the specificity IS the universality. The more particular she gets, the more you nod along.

The supporting cast here is every Black woman who ever held Amena down, and they earn their page time. The Southern women who raised her. The Spelman sisters. The community that shows up in hair aisles and Beyonce concerts and group chats. Brown names them, honors them, and in doing so, honors all of us.

WHAT I SAVORED 🥃
THE VOICE — Full-bodied and unmistakable. Brown's background in spoken word gives her prose a rhythm and punch that most essay collections can only dream of. You don't just read these essays. You HEAR them.

THE HUMOR — This woman is genuinely funny. Not "trying to be relatable" funny. Not "insert joke here" funny. The kind of funny where you're laughing out loud on a plane and the person next to you is concerned. The humor never feels forced, and it carries even the heavier moments with grace.

THE CELEBRATION — This book doesn't ask permission to love Black womanhood. It doesn't qualify it, explain it for outsiders, or soften it for comfort. It just celebrates — loudly, specifically, joyfully. "Black Girl is a noun and a verb" is the thesis, and Brown proves it on every page.

WHAT I SIDE-EYED 🥃
PACING IN THE MIDDLE — A few of the mid-collection essays cover similar emotional territory, and while each one has its own charm, there's a slight sense of treading familiar ground. A tighter edit in that stretch would have kept the momentum at full pour.

WANTED MORE DEPTH IN PLACES — Some essays felt like they were just getting to the really good stuff and then wrapped up. Brown's voice is so compelling that when she pulls back, you feel it. A few of these deserved another page or two to breathe.

THE FINISH
Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl is a warm, funny, full-bodied collection that celebrates Black womanhood without apology and without permission. Amena Brown writes like a woman who knows exactly who she is and wants you to feel that free too. It's not quite the kind of book I'll be thinking about in five years — but it IS the kind of book I'll be buying for every Black woman I love this Christmas.

Worth the pour. Every drop.

🍸 Drink Pairing: The Spelman Sidecar Because this book is classic with a twist — rooted in tradition but entirely her own.

Recipe:

2 oz Buffalo Trace bourbon — for the Southern roots that run deep through every essay
1 oz Cointreau — for the bright, citrusy pop culture commentary that lights up each chapter
3/4 oz fresh lemon juice — for the sharp, honest moments that cut through the sweetness
Lazzaroni Amaretto cherry garnish — because a BSB signature belongs on a drink this good
Sugar rim — for the sweetness Brown brings to even the toughest truths

Shake with ice, strain into a coupe glass. Sip slow. Text your girls.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Recommended For: If you enjoy: ✨ Issa Rae's humor ✨ Tracee Ellis Ross energy ✨ essays that feel like group chat ✨ books that make Black girlhood feel like the verb it is...this will absolutely scratch that itch.

#NeverTellaBlackGirlHowtoBlackGirl #NetGalley #BourbonSippingBibliophile #ARCReview #BlackGirlBooks #AmenaReads

[Cindi]

While I typically don't gravitate toward books that are collections of essays, this one managed to surprise me. The stories are woven together in such a way that it's easy to stay engaged, and the author’s comedic storytelling background shines through, making this a book I wholeheartedly recommend.
Amena Brown shares her experiences growing up as a Black girl in the United States, from her childhood shaped by Southern Black women to her time at Spelman College. Spelman, known for its premier Black women's liberal arts education, is where Amena found a sense of belonging. Through discussions of hair care, pop culture, and unspoken cultural understandings, Brown’s collection resonates deeply with Black women and provides others a window into a vibrant and fierce community. Readers are left smiling, surprised, and often reflecting on the stories shared.
I confess I hadn’t heard of Amena Brown before being approached by the publisher to read an advance copy of "Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl: Essays." This request was based on my review of a similarly themed book not long ago.
To be honest, I was a bit surprised. Although I read works by many Black authors, I wouldn’t necessarily consider myself the target audience for this collection. Yet, these essays blend humor, insight, and heartfelt moments, balancing memoir with cultural storytelling.
I didn’t connect with every topic Brown discussed, but as I continued, I found myself enjoying her humor, warmth, and the way she welcomed readers into her world—even someone like me, who might not share her experiences. That’s pretty darn cool.
As a generally positive book reviewer, I’ve met many authors through my reviews. With "Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl," Amena Brown creates a world that will attract those who see themselves reflected in its pages. Even though I wasn’t the intended audience, I was swept up in her spirit and the relatable stories of Southern upbringing and self-acceptance. Brown’s message is clear: never let anyone define how to "Black girl."

[Richard Propes]

I will admit that I'd never heard of Amena Brown when the publisher reached out to see if I'd be interested in checking out an ARC of "Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl: Essays" based upon my review of a similarly themed book in the recent past.

Truthfully, I was a little surprised. While I certainly read a number of Black authors, I'm not sure you could call me the target reader for this often funny, more often insightful, and frequently heartwarming collection of essays balancing memoir and cultural storytelling.

I enjoyed Amena Brown's writing enough that as I wound down my time with the book's closing pages, I found myself scooting over to my browser to learn more about her. A graduate of the renowned Spelman College, Brown shares stories about everything from dancing in Janelle Monae's "Tightrope" video to partnering with Tracee Ellis Ross's PATTERN Beauty to multiple stories about hair, glorious hair.

Did I connect with everything Brown wrote about here? Most definitely not. I'm a getting older white guy, a paraplegic/double amputee whose fashion bones must've been in my now amputated feet. Yet, along the way with this literary journey I really began to enjoy my time with Brown and her abundance of humor, plentiful heart, and ability to invite us into her world in a way that makes even someone like me want to be there.

That's pretty darn cool.

As a sort of casual book reviewer who leans toward positivity, I've encountered more than a few of the authors I've reviewed along the way. With "Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl," Brown serves up a world that will no doubt attract those who relate to it. While that person was not me, I still got caught up in her spirit and in her relatable stories of growing up in the South and never letting anyone tell her how to Black girl.

[Frau Jones]

WHEW! This book is more than just a good read—it’s a conversation. It challenges the idea that there is only ONE way to be a Black woman and reminds us that our identities, experiences, personalities, choices, and journeys are uniquely our own.

What I loved most is how unapologetic the message is. Being a Black woman doesn’t come with a rulebook, and nobody gets to decide whether you’re “Black enough” based on how you speak, dress, love, think, live, or choose to navigate the world.

This book made me laugh, think, reflect, and question some of the expectations that society and sometimes even our own communities—place on Black women.

The biggest takeaway for me? Black women don’t need permission to define themselves.

We can be soft AND strong. Educated AND street-smart. Independent AND love being taken care of. Traditional AND unconventional. Loud, quiet, ambitious, nurturing, outspoken, complicated, imperfect, evolving—and still completely Black.

There is no single blueprint for being a Black girl.

Read the book. Sit with the message. Have the uncomfortable conversations. And most importantly, stop trying to put Black women in a box.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Definitely a book that will make you think!

[Ciana]

Thought 1: Of course we starting with hair, as a former “tender-headed” child there are several war stories and war wounds from Easter Sundays, Christmas Dinner, Picture Day, or any other special day you knew you were a representation of your mother or Granny.
Thought 2: Next teen travel, in the late 90s I surprisingly had a lot of freedom to hop on a bus and meet my friends at Water Tower with enough money to buy a single CD and a snack. As a parent I’m chauffeuring my daughter and friends around, because it’s just too many factors to consider out here.
Thought 3: Why do we get radicalized in college?
Thought 4: It is a Black right of passage to move from assistant to apprentice to chef to host for a family holiday. And all when your sensei are gone, you pray you remember all that they taught you!
Thought 5: This a Cute compilation of essays, stories and poems. Written in the same vein as Issa Rae’s Awkward Black Girl. The point is black girls are varied and relatable. I give it three stars.

[E Williams]

The cultural references are foreal GenX!! Yasssss hunty! The LOVE letters/poems to self were extremely uplifting and affirming. It was nice to get the authors perspective on growing up in the south, being shy, attending a HBCU, becoming a writer, and working through her life journey. It replenished the soul to read cultural authors, songs, artists, community references throughout the book. I enjoyed this book as it definitely reminds me of how I grew up. Although I grew up in the North, I found myself smiling (and laughing) in every chapter and could relate to almost everything she wrote.

If you’re looking for something that you can relate to, fills you with love, makes you feel like you BELONG anywhere…this is the book for you. I don’t want to give too much away – you gotta read the book!

Thank you, Dutton/ Tiny Reparations Books, and Netgalley for providing the ARC for review. All opinions are my own. I reviewed an uncorrected copy.
Get. This. Book!

[Scott Ward]

Amena Brown allows us to join her journey from a young black girl to a successful adult, while navigating the customs, norms, expectations, pitfalls and camaraderie of many cultures and subcultures. We first learn about hair and all the trials, anguish and pleasure of discovering how to groom them. We learn about relationships—first in the salon, as in what to say and what not to say to the community there—with family, elders, peers, and people who grew up in different backgrounds, like her friends at an HBCU and her husband.

Witty, funny and vulnerable, Brown shows us how “Black Girl” can look like many different things. Her eponymous poem is a good reason to get the book. Her poetry is poignant and powerful. Her prose keeps you on the edge, wondering if ‘it’ will work or not, will this be success or failure. We readers always find ourselves rooting for Amena to persevere, grow and win.

I appreciate the publisher providing an advanced copy.

[Jeni Enjaian]

(I do not rate memoirs.)
Before I started reading this book, I was a little bit apprehensive since this book does not have a straightforward narrative and is rather a collection of essays and a few poems. In the past, I have read a handful of other collections like this and have simply not been able to get into them because of the not straightforward chronological telling which I tend to prefer. Thankfully, I am happy to say that this book broke that mold in terms of my enjoyment. Brown has a strong narrative voice that engages the readers quickly and keep them engaged throughout the entire collection. She also shows incredible skill in how she chose to arrange all of these different pieces to tell the story. I am very thankful that I requested this ARC and had the opportunity to read it.

[Tami]

To be a Black girl is to always be on tiptoes. It’s often having someone else name your reality for you. Black girls whether in youthful or seasoned bodies (because Black girlhood is not dependent on age) deserve to name themselves for themselves and Amena Brown does just that. She shows us what it’s like to show up unpolished and refusing to be held to judgements of respectability. It’s an insistence on the personhood of Black girls and women who are being themselves while living their freest lives.

I loved each essay in the collection and how it created a spaciousness in my understanding and appreciation of Black and girl and Blackgirl.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the advance e-arc.