Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl: Essays

by Amena Brown

An irresistible delight, this hilarious and heartwarming essay collection gathers essential tales about growing up in the South, the pitfalls of date night, and why no one should ever tell a Black girl how to Black Girl.

Black women always find a place to in the natural hair aisle, at Beyoncé concerts, even online in memes and catchphrases. This book is one of those a living room where readers can contemplate how a well-picked afro can defy the laws of physics and why boob sweat has to exist in the first place. Here, Black Girl is a verb. Here, Black women can Black Girl in every way we want to.

Amena Brown’s book Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl blends storytelling, humor, and pop culture commentary to traverse the magic and wisdom she's gleaned from being raised by Southern Black women, and supported by the community of Black women who hold her down today. After graduating from the International Black Girl Headquarters (the renowned HBCU Spelman College), Amena has built a career telling stories and celebrating Black womanhood. In her book, she shares stories of dancing in Janelle Monae's "Tightrope" music video and partnering with Tracee Ellis Ross to compose odes to natural hair. She imparts essential life lessons from the Real Housewives of Atlanta, and tells hair tales, including wisdom on the ideal style for her first speaking gig at Essence Fest (box braids, 100 percent).

In the end, Brown shares that Black women are a whole world. A galaxy of customs, language, code, and unspoken understandings, all explored with humor and heart in this unforgettable book.

Genres: Nonfiction, Short Stories, Essays

320 pages, Hardcover

Expected publication June 16, 2026

About the author

Amena Brown is a spoken word poet, performing artist, and event host whose work interweaves keep-it-real storytelling, rhyme, and humor. The author of five spoken word albums and two non-fiction books, Amena has garnered national attention in media outlets such as Ebony Magazine, Huffington Post, and Belong Magazine. Amena recently wrote and collaborated with award-winning actress, producer, and activist Tracee Ellis Ross on the Manifesta for Ross’ natural hair product line, PATTERN.

A proud graduate of Spelman College, some of Amena’s most popular spoken word videos are “Letter to My Hair,” where she writes about her natural hair journey, “Dear TV Sitcoms,” a nostalgic piece about the lessons we can learn from sitcoms, “Girlfriends Poem,” where she writes about the importance of friendship among women, and “For the Women” a poem she wrote to honor women of color for International Women’s Day. Collectively these poems have reached over 200,000 views on Facebook Video.

Reviews

[Angie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recently read Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl by @amenabee. I'm geneally not a huge fan of books written as a collection of essays, but this one generally worked. The stories were interconnected enough that it was easy to follow along and the author's background as a comedic storyteller definitely comes through making this book one I would definitely recommend!

Amena describes growing up as a black girl in the US from her childhood experiences being raised by Southern Black women to attending Spelman, a college known for its premier black women's liberal arts education, where she truly found her community. Exploring topics such as hair care, pop culture, and unspoken understandings, this book is one that Black women will relate to, and everyone else can enjoy as an opportunity to learn about a fierce community of women while also leaving you at times smiling, surprised and evening reflecting.

Thanks to @netgalley and the publisher @tinyrepbooks for giving me the chance to read and review this book! It comes out this June, so don't forget to grab a copy!

[Jason Lavoie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley, Dutton, and Tiny Reparations Books for the Advanced Reader’s Copy of Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl by Amena Brown. This collection of essays is to be published on June 16, 2026.

Every now and then, you read a book that just soothes the heart and soul. This book was that personified. The book exudes an unbelievable warmth and positive energy.

From the opening pages, the author is someone that you just can’t help but love. You feel the emotion in her writing and her stories and know she’s sincere and genuine.

Those who are young Gen-X or older Millennials can relate to the pop culture references regardless their race or gender. There is humour sprinkled throughout that is never forced and can be appreciated in the at times seriousness of the essay.

You can’t help but smile from chapter to chapter. Easily a five star read!

[Charlie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amena Brown's book is not just a book. It encapsulates everything I love about reading: pop culture references galore, great writing, and an author with hot takes that are as insightful as they are pointed. Brown's got stories and wit to spare and to be honest I kind of hope that there is Grandma Bertha Lee merch one day because 10/10 would purchase. I can think of few things that would be as thrilling as a tote bag for groceries that says "Here for the Super Moist" or a t-shirt that reads "Employee of the Month: Grandma Bertha Lee Telecommunications". The book would then turn into a kind of homing beacon for people who might be your people.

It's difficult to find great writing that flows as effortlessly as it does in Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl. It is apropos that Phoebe Robinson's genius is infused in founding Tiny Reparations, the publishing imprint of Penguin Random House under which this book was released. There are certain signatures that Black Excellence, and fantastic authors in general, leave behind in the work. Robinson has passed the torch with Tiny Reparations so that authors like Brown can grace our collective consciousness in a hilarious and meaningful way. I'm so glad and grateful for that!

After reading Brown's book I realized so much about Black girling that I didn't consider before. I was in a word, completely clueless. I read it as a white trans man who has been in interracial relationships before for example, and I see now how there's a certain kind of Black intimacy that you don't see the beauty of until you read books like this one. For example, an ex asked if I would oil her locs and it was something I did for her on occasion. Oiling and tending to hair means something fundamentally different in the context of Black womanhood, going beyond the "don't touch my hair" moniker (that epitomized the title of Phoebe Robinson's hilarious first book You Can't Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain). Had I known then, what this book helped me understand, I would've better appreciated what that might have meant. The book helped to attune me to the language of intimacy that is spoken in the dialect of Black Girl in Black women. I work at a library running programs for a variety of ages. Brown's book gave me a different way of looking at and appreciating the programs I develop, through a perspective of: Does this make enough space for Black Girl Magic? Would a Black Girl feel seen or need to take up less space?. It's less of an inclusivity paradigm and more just being a decent person, because who doesn't want to be seen for their whole selves? Even the reading circles I lead where there are grown adults, I wonder now if there are ways I can make space for someone's inner Black Girl to feel safe and seen. Brown's book is a terrific and powerful read.

The best books are the ones that leave you thinking, considering, and appreciating nuances in the world more than when you first read them. Brown's book? Nailed it and then some. I felt pretty seen in the parts about churching for example, because I grew up in the church (I stuck with Pentecostal churches because they had way better music than the Catholicism I was born into, even though 2SLGBTQ+ anything was pretty unwelcome). Though I find Truth, comfort, and life in Hindusim now, I found Brown's book healing for the former church kid in me who needed cis-het allies like her. Knowing that they exist is a salve and soothing balm. I also thought about how Black Trans Women deserve all of the beauty, comfort, and nourishment of Black Girl rituals in adulthood that they may not have been able to experience in their formative years while embodying cisgender standards, more than their authentic transness. I can also better see Black Trans women as they want to be seen for their own Black Girling. Even if it means just being able to silently behold that magic, and cherish how important it is to them, appreciating the glow of a person empowered by and in love with their Blackness, that's enough. The book is quick-witted, and covers a lot of ground, but make no mistake it will help you human better.

Comedy writing that is good tends to be great because of how easily authors can miss the mark. Brown's writing is melodically great and then some. Her humour doesn't try hard to win the reader over, and there were hilarious references that validated my Elder Millennialhood. I could easily see this book getting the Netflix treatment and becoming a sitcom series of some kind. Easily. There was also a heap of funny wisdom in her perspective on long-term relationships, finding couples to befriend as a couple, cooking, self-care, and more. I appreciated the humor and ire Brown held for people asking about her having kids, as the trans community also often gets over-the-top-invasive questions about medical everything. I'm a white dude but there was so much in this book that was relatable. Don't let the title leave you thinking it's for Black Girls only; It is, but by Amena Brown's graces, we get to bask in that brilliance too. There are so many more reasons to read this book.

I highly recommend this book and want to thank the publisher, Tiny Reparations (and Penguin Randomhouse), for the NetGalley eARC. I know I had a reading life before the book came along, but I can't imagine a world where this book doesn't exist now. I will certainly be recommending it through Readers' Advisory at the public library where I work and tidying up this review to post on the book review blog there too! It is Brown's first book of this kind and I hope it is joined by further releases. Thanks for writing such a great read!

[Renita Cohill · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. I love reading the perspective of the author. I am biracial and identify myself as black. The experiences are a bit different, but I can totally relate to this book. I highly recommend this read!

[Alice · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book was wunnaful- as grandma would say- funny, insightful, a great read - Amena is great at telling her stories whether about life, love, food or the realhoisewives-

thank you netgalley for the arc in exchange for an honest review

[Cindi · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I typically don't gravitate toward books that are collections of essays, this one managed to surprise me. The stories are woven together in such a way that it's easy to stay engaged, and the author’s comedic storytelling background shines through, making this a book I wholeheartedly recommend.
Amena Brown shares her experiences growing up as a Black girl in the United States, from her childhood shaped by Southern Black women to her time at Spelman College. Spelman, known for its premier Black women's liberal arts education, is where Amena found a sense of belonging. Through discussions of hair care, pop culture, and unspoken cultural understandings, Brown’s collection resonates deeply with Black women and provides others a window into a vibrant and fierce community. Readers are left smiling, surprised, and often reflecting on the stories shared.
I confess I hadn’t heard of Amena Brown before being approached by the publisher to read an advance copy of "Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl: Essays." This request was based on my review of a similarly themed book not long ago.
To be honest, I was a bit surprised. Although I read works by many Black authors, I wouldn’t necessarily consider myself the target audience for this collection. Yet, these essays blend humor, insight, and heartfelt moments, balancing memoir with cultural storytelling.
I didn’t connect with every topic Brown discussed, but as I continued, I found myself enjoying her humor, warmth, and the way she welcomed readers into her world—even someone like me, who might not share her experiences. That’s pretty darn cool.
As a generally positive book reviewer, I’ve met many authors through my reviews. With "Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl," Amena Brown creates a world that will attract those who see themselves reflected in its pages. Even though I wasn’t the intended audience, I was swept up in her spirit and the relatable stories of Southern upbringing and self-acceptance. Brown’s message is clear: never let anyone define how to "Black girl."

[Richard Propes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I will admit that I'd never heard of Amena Brown when the publisher reached out to see if I'd be interested in checking out an ARC of "Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl: Essays" based upon my review of a similarly themed book in the recent past.

Truthfully, I was a little surprised. While I certainly read a number of Black authors, I'm not sure you could call me the target reader for this often funny, more often insightful, and frequently heartwarming collection of essays balancing memoir and cultural storytelling.

I enjoyed Amena Brown's writing enough that as I wound down my time with the book's closing pages, I found myself scooting over to my browser to learn more about her. A graduate of the renowned Spelman College, Brown shares stories about everything from dancing in Janelle Monae's "Tightrope" video to partnering with Tracee Ellis Ross's PATTERN Beauty to multiple stories about hair, glorious hair.

Did I connect with everything Brown wrote about here? Most definitely not. I'm a getting older white guy, a paraplegic/double amputee whose fashion bones must've been in my now amputated feet. Yet, along the way with this literary journey I really began to enjoy my time with Brown and her abundance of humor, plentiful heart, and ability to invite us into her world in a way that makes even someone like me want to be there.

That's pretty darn cool.

As a sort of casual book reviewer who leans toward positivity, I've encountered more than a few of the authors I've reviewed along the way. With "Never Tell a Black Girl How to Black Girl," Brown serves up a world that will no doubt attract those who relate to it. While that person was not me, I still got caught up in her spirit and in her relatable stories of growing up in the South and never letting anyone tell her how to Black girl.

[E Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

The cultural references are foreal GenX!! Yasssss hunty! The LOVE letters/poems to self were extremely uplifting and affirming. It was nice to get the authors perspective on growing up in the south, being shy, attending a HBCU, becoming a writer, and working through her life journey. It replenished the soul to read cultural authors, songs, artists, community references throughout the book. I enjoyed this book as it definitely reminds me of how I grew up. Although I grew up in the North, I found myself smiling (and laughing) in every chapter and could relate to almost everything she wrote.

If you’re looking for something that you can relate to, fills you with love, makes you feel like you BELONG anywhere…this is the book for you. I don’t want to give too much away – you gotta read the book!

Thank you, Dutton/ Tiny Reparations Books, and Netgalley for providing the ARC for review. All opinions are my own. I reviewed an uncorrected copy.
Get. This. Book!

[Scott Ward · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amena Brown allows us to join her journey from a young black girl to a successful adult, while navigating the customs, norms, expectations, pitfalls and camaraderie of many cultures and subcultures. We first learn about hair and all the trials, anguish and pleasure of discovering how to groom them. We learn about relationships—first in the salon, as in what to say and what not to say to the community there—with family, elders, peers, and people who grew up in different backgrounds, like her friends at an HBCU and her husband.

Witty, funny and vulnerable, Brown shows us how “Black Girl” can look like many different things. Her eponymous poem is a good reason to get the book. Her poetry is poignant and powerful. Her prose keeps you on the edge, wondering if ‘it’ will work or not, will this be success or failure. We readers always find ourselves rooting for Amena to persevere, grow and win.

I appreciate the publisher providing an advanced copy.

[Rachel (storybookcorner) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book in hopes of learning about a world in which I will never know as I'm a white woman. The book started strong and the essays were woven together nicely. I want to educate myself when and where I can for my children and all future generations. I read the letter about hair to my daughter who is biracial and a pre-teen. Kids are cruel and she's dealt with some ugly comments about her hair when it's not braided. I tell her all the time to be proud of her hair regardless of how she chooses to style it, braid it, etc.
Black women voices need and deserve to be heard.

Thank you to Netgalley for this ARC. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[Cari Zuckerman · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this collection of essays and poems, Brown discusses topics like hair, dating, food, and pop culture. Not being a Black girl myself, I didn’t relate to most of Amena’s experiences but this is not a criticism. For me this was a window book, not a mirror book. However, that makes it hard to write a review. The essays and poems are well-written and I think they will really resonate with some readers. I may not be the target audience but I’m glad for having read this book and feeling the love Brown has for Black women.

[Hannah Ruegsegger · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read until 7%. The writing had character and a voice. I just did not care about the subject being talked about. I already had some knowledge of the products, and because my attention wasn't grabbed, I lost interest.

That being said, as a white woman with minimal experience on Black culture, I think this is an important and hopefully eye opening read. Their voices need to be heard.

[Dysha Cole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with a copy of this book. I have not heard of this author but I am into essays about the Black experience/coming of age and this one definitely delivered.