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Not A Crime
‘COULD! NOT! PUT! IT! DOWN!’ – Sally Parkhurst, author
One minute, you throw out an empty threat. The next, you’ve accidentally become Sheffield’s most reluctant serial killer.
Marion Sullivan, a teacher and single mother, knows everything about marking essays and managing pre-teenage drama. But fighting off hitmen or disposing of bodies? Not so much.
Murder was never part of the plan, but when a disastrous encounter leaves someone dead on Marion's carpet, she does the only thing her horrified brain can think of—call her best friend, Detective Carol Shaw. Carol’s job is upholding the law, not breaking it. But a stupid pact made years ago leaves her no choice.
Now Carol’s juggling two uncovering why someone wants Marion dead and dodging the murder investigation, led by the captivating Detective Tara O’Connor, who is as relentless as she is irresistible.
Friendship clashes with duty. Love tangles with lies. And one question Is murder always a crime?
Darkly funny, suspenseful, and full of wicked twists, Not a Crime is a sharp, surprising thriller about guilt, survival, and the absurd lengths people go to to protect the ones they love.
Perfect for readers who like their thrillers with a side of dark humour and moral messiness.
One minute, you throw out an empty threat. The next, you’ve accidentally become Sheffield’s most reluctant serial killer.
Marion Sullivan, a teacher and single mother, knows everything about marking essays and managing pre-teenage drama. But fighting off hitmen or disposing of bodies? Not so much.
Murder was never part of the plan, but when a disastrous encounter leaves someone dead on Marion's carpet, she does the only thing her horrified brain can think of—call her best friend, Detective Carol Shaw. Carol’s job is upholding the law, not breaking it. But a stupid pact made years ago leaves her no choice.
Now Carol’s juggling two uncovering why someone wants Marion dead and dodging the murder investigation, led by the captivating Detective Tara O’Connor, who is as relentless as she is irresistible.
Friendship clashes with duty. Love tangles with lies. And one question Is murder always a crime?
Darkly funny, suspenseful, and full of wicked twists, Not a Crime is a sharp, surprising thriller about guilt, survival, and the absurd lengths people go to to protect the ones they love.
Perfect for readers who like their thrillers with a side of dark humour and moral messiness.
- GenresLesbian
326 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 17, 2025
8 people are currently reading
201 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
September 23, 2025
This book was so entertaining I couldn't put it down! The characters were so well thought out. I loved the relationships between all three women, and how well crafted their stories were. This book was fast paced and hilarious! Highly recommend!
September 22, 2025
High recommendation for Merit and her recently released book „Not a Crime“!
It’s one of those reads that grabs you by the collar and doesn’t let go—full of heart, sharp wit, and just the right dose of everything.
Huch… the plot twists really got me, and the TOV is spot on with just the right touch of sarcasm and humor.
The first murder weapon?
Absolutely hilarious. The kind of detail that makes you snort-laugh while still being wrapped up in the suspense.
I adored the characters—their layered quirks, flaws, and the way they bounced off each other. The whole story flows with such energy and charm that you don’t even notice time passing. It’s fresh, smart, addictive, and honestly one of those books you secretly hope gets adapted for screen.
Truly a gem worth picking up!
It’s one of those reads that grabs you by the collar and doesn’t let go—full of heart, sharp wit, and just the right dose of everything.
Huch… the plot twists really got me, and the TOV is spot on with just the right touch of sarcasm and humor.
The first murder weapon?
Absolutely hilarious. The kind of detail that makes you snort-laugh while still being wrapped up in the suspense.
I adored the characters—their layered quirks, flaws, and the way they bounced off each other. The whole story flows with such energy and charm that you don’t even notice time passing. It’s fresh, smart, addictive, and honestly one of those books you secretly hope gets adapted for screen.
Truly a gem worth picking up!
September 23, 2025
Merit L has a knack for words! I thoroughly enjoyed this book the moment I started reading. The humour and wit that shines through in the story is captivating-almost every page made me laugh. The way she writes her descriptions will make you feel like you are there with the characters when things take place. Each chapter ends with a hook and will make you want to read the next right away. If you want a good plot, some mystery, romance, and humour, give this book a try. Highly recommend!
September 30, 2025
This book is a gem - well written, with smooth flow of proper English that made it a joy to read. It had everything: crime, or not a crime, funny moments, love, lies, friendship and even some spicy scenes that added extra spark. Could not put it down until finished :)
September 20, 2025
Smart, funny, and fast-paced—this book had me grinning while the plot unfolded and the bodies pilled up. The banter is sharp, the humour lands, and the mix of murder, friendship, and romance makes it ridiculously fun to read. An addictive page-turner I’d happily recommend.
September 28, 2025
Captivating plot, witty humour! Marion was my favourite character😉.
September 22, 2025
Loved the pace and the wit of this book. The dialogue got particularly sharp in the second half of the book. In the beginning it felt like it was going to deal with serious matters and it did but in a surprisingly light and entertaining manner.
Having just watched the movie Honey, Don’t, this would be the next movie I want to watch.
Having just watched the movie Honey, Don’t, this would be the next movie I want to watch.
September 25, 2025
Funny Cop Drama
From unnecessarily messy trash days to questionable purse contents, this dramatic sapphic story has funny twists and turns.
Carol and Marion are BFFS who would totally hide a body for each other… They just never expected they would have to take each other up on the offer!
When self defense goes wrong, Marion is left with a hit man bleeding out in her living room and only one person to call. Things get complicated when a cop named Tara starts investigating Marion and dating Carol.
How far would you go to protect your mvrderous best friend from your detective girlfriend?
From unnecessarily messy trash days to questionable purse contents, this dramatic sapphic story has funny twists and turns.
Carol and Marion are BFFS who would totally hide a body for each other… They just never expected they would have to take each other up on the offer!
When self defense goes wrong, Marion is left with a hit man bleeding out in her living room and only one person to call. Things get complicated when a cop named Tara starts investigating Marion and dating Carol.
How far would you go to protect your mvrderous best friend from your detective girlfriend?
Want to read
November 18, 2025I loved this book. The banter was witty. The characters were three-dimensional. And though some bad things happen, which end up in some acts that lean to the morally gray- yeah- it's not a crime, really. I can't say much more without giving spoilers. Just read it for yourself. You will laugh. You will get angry. You will find yourself justifying things you never imagined needing to justify.
Grab a glass of wine or a Gin and Tonic- tuck in and read.
Some trigger warnings are involved. The center of this story is a foundation that is a cover for trafficking, but as a survivor of SA, I enjoyed that the whole goal of these characters was to expose it and take it down. It's vigilanteism at its best.
I would recommend this book highly.
Grab a glass of wine or a Gin and Tonic- tuck in and read.
Some trigger warnings are involved. The center of this story is a foundation that is a cover for trafficking, but as a survivor of SA, I enjoyed that the whole goal of these characters was to expose it and take it down. It's vigilanteism at its best.
I would recommend this book highly.
October 30, 2025
Not A Crime is a sharp, compelling mix of moral tension, forbidden love, and dark wit. What sets this book apart is its smart use of humor. Merit L. weaves in moments of levity that never undercut the gravity of the story but instead deepen its humanity, giving readers room to breathe amid the tension. The characters are well developed, and deeply relatable! Both the plot and the sapphic romance unfold with intensity and realism. A fantastic read for lovers of sapphic romance, crime/thriller novels, and morally gray characters.
September 24, 2025
Wow, this was such a refreshing and fun read! It had some deliciously absurd moments that reminded me of one of my favorite shows, Fargo. (I'll never look at a garbage truck the same way again...)
If you're looking for a well-written, funny standalone with strong female relationships, sapphic romance, great chemistry and crime with a twist, read this!
If you're looking for a well-written, funny standalone with strong female relationships, sapphic romance, great chemistry and crime with a twist, read this!
October 30, 2025
This Book had me laughing out loud and it kept me guessing with all the plot twists. If this were a series I would binge watch but I much prefer good books! Highly Recommend others consider reading and share with others! Looking forward to finding more to read from this Author 😀
October 30, 2025
truly deeply enjoyed the first half. second half was good too, but i literally stopped at the 46% mark to call my girlfriend so i could explain the hijinks in this book
December 4, 2025
Brilliant, Darkly Funny and Surprisingly Thought Provoking
Not a Crime by Merit L. isn’t the sort of book I usually reach for… and yet I struggled to put it down.
The story unfolds in a wonderfully absurd chain of events that manages to be both laugh-out-loud funny and, somehow, accidentally tragic. Three times. And honestly, calling the demise of such thoroughly awful human beings a “tragedy” is where the moral gymnastics begin. Merit L. serves up satire with a sharp edge, nudging you to question whether certain people meeting unfortunate ends really qualifies as unfortunate at all.
At the heart of the chaos is the brilliantly portrayed friendship between Marion and Carol. Their bond is the real emotional engine of the story, equal parts wholesome, unhinged and heartwarming. Carol doesn’t just show up for her best friend; she practically writes a masterclass in how far loyalty can stretch before it snaps. Or, in her case, before it drags you head-first into covering up a murder.
Adding a delicious layer of tension is Tara, Carol’s girlfriend and the investigator assigned to the very deaths Marion caused and Carol helped conceal. Watching Tara wrestle with her conscience - torn between the law, love, and the increasingly blurred definition of “crime” is gripping and wickedly ironic. Her dilemma elevates the story from dark comedy to something genuinely thought-provoking.
This book is clever, chaotic, heartfelt, and absolutely hilarious in all the best, darkest ways. I didn’t expect to love it, but Merit L. won me over completely.
Not a Crime by Merit L. isn’t the sort of book I usually reach for… and yet I struggled to put it down.
The story unfolds in a wonderfully absurd chain of events that manages to be both laugh-out-loud funny and, somehow, accidentally tragic. Three times. And honestly, calling the demise of such thoroughly awful human beings a “tragedy” is where the moral gymnastics begin. Merit L. serves up satire with a sharp edge, nudging you to question whether certain people meeting unfortunate ends really qualifies as unfortunate at all.
At the heart of the chaos is the brilliantly portrayed friendship between Marion and Carol. Their bond is the real emotional engine of the story, equal parts wholesome, unhinged and heartwarming. Carol doesn’t just show up for her best friend; she practically writes a masterclass in how far loyalty can stretch before it snaps. Or, in her case, before it drags you head-first into covering up a murder.
Adding a delicious layer of tension is Tara, Carol’s girlfriend and the investigator assigned to the very deaths Marion caused and Carol helped conceal. Watching Tara wrestle with her conscience - torn between the law, love, and the increasingly blurred definition of “crime” is gripping and wickedly ironic. Her dilemma elevates the story from dark comedy to something genuinely thought-provoking.
This book is clever, chaotic, heartfelt, and absolutely hilarious in all the best, darkest ways. I didn’t expect to love it, but Merit L. won me over completely.
October 8, 2025
Could ! Not ! Put ! It ! Down !!!
Loved this page-turning crime, best friends, Thelma and Louise-ISH novel! What a delight! What had been a black-and-white world for Carol, a police officer, becomes gray and murky when it involves the actions of her best friend, Marion. (AND YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT SHE DID.) With sarcasm, wit, and HUMOR, Marion and Carol then stretch the limits of their friendship (Would you do absolutely anything for your best friend??) as they navigate a very serious and sticky situation. THEN, in comes Tara, another beautiful cop, but hard-nosed, and what do we get? Oh my, that's what we get.
The characters come alive in this funny, thought-provoking story. (They could have easily been my best friends! I miss them already!) Merit L.'s prose is impeccable and flows like a river. I don't read many crime novels, but if Merit L. writes more, I will certainly read them. Actually, she is so entertaining, I would read any genre from her! Highly recommend! Oh, and did I mention there is a big splash of ROMANCE?
Loved this page-turning crime, best friends, Thelma and Louise-ISH novel! What a delight! What had been a black-and-white world for Carol, a police officer, becomes gray and murky when it involves the actions of her best friend, Marion. (AND YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT SHE DID.) With sarcasm, wit, and HUMOR, Marion and Carol then stretch the limits of their friendship (Would you do absolutely anything for your best friend??) as they navigate a very serious and sticky situation. THEN, in comes Tara, another beautiful cop, but hard-nosed, and what do we get? Oh my, that's what we get.
The characters come alive in this funny, thought-provoking story. (They could have easily been my best friends! I miss them already!) Merit L.'s prose is impeccable and flows like a river. I don't read many crime novels, but if Merit L. writes more, I will certainly read them. Actually, she is so entertaining, I would read any genre from her! Highly recommend! Oh, and did I mention there is a big splash of ROMANCE?
October 16, 2025
A dark, layered, and thought-provoking thriller.
This book hooked me from the first chapter and never let go. What begins as a story about three women tangled in secrets and lies quickly turns into a powerful exploration of guilt, morality, and the lengths people will go to in order to protect. The characters feel deeply human, flawed, raw, and unforgettable. The writing is sharp, emotional, and laced with dark humor.
I especially loved how the story blurs the line between justice and revenge, forcing you to question who’s truly innocent when everyone’s hiding something. The pacing builds beautifully, with every twist revealing not just a deeper mystery, but a deeper truth about the characters themselves.
The moral ambiguity kept me thinking long after the last page. If you enjoy darkly comic, intelligent, psychological crime thrillers with complex women at the center and no easy answers, this one’s a must-read.
This book hooked me from the first chapter and never let go. What begins as a story about three women tangled in secrets and lies quickly turns into a powerful exploration of guilt, morality, and the lengths people will go to in order to protect. The characters feel deeply human, flawed, raw, and unforgettable. The writing is sharp, emotional, and laced with dark humor.
I especially loved how the story blurs the line between justice and revenge, forcing you to question who’s truly innocent when everyone’s hiding something. The pacing builds beautifully, with every twist revealing not just a deeper mystery, but a deeper truth about the characters themselves.
The moral ambiguity kept me thinking long after the last page. If you enjoy darkly comic, intelligent, psychological crime thrillers with complex women at the center and no easy answers, this one’s a must-read.
September 30, 2025
Holy garbage chute!
This book is pure, unadulterated, hilarious, and captivating chaos in the best possible way - sharp, funny, and completely addictive. From the first murder weapon (still cackling) to the constant twists and banter, it’s the kind of story that makes you snort with laughter, even as the stakes get higher and the twists get twistier. I honestly can’t remember the last time a book had me laughing out loud from the very first page.
The characters are distinctive and memorable, making it easy to keep track of the multiple POVs, and each character adds a thrilling layer to this fast-paced ride. Fast-paced, witty, and impossible to put down, Not a Crime proves Merit L knows exactly how to hook you, and keep you hooked.
Highly recommend!
This book is pure, unadulterated, hilarious, and captivating chaos in the best possible way - sharp, funny, and completely addictive. From the first murder weapon (still cackling) to the constant twists and banter, it’s the kind of story that makes you snort with laughter, even as the stakes get higher and the twists get twistier. I honestly can’t remember the last time a book had me laughing out loud from the very first page.
The characters are distinctive and memorable, making it easy to keep track of the multiple POVs, and each character adds a thrilling layer to this fast-paced ride. Fast-paced, witty, and impossible to put down, Not a Crime proves Merit L knows exactly how to hook you, and keep you hooked.
Highly recommend!
November 13, 2025
I really enjoyed Merit L's telling of this edgy and touchy subject matter. While the story is about child abuse in a sense, it is more about bringing the "bad guys" to justice, just in an unusual and quirky way. I really enjoyed the storyline and the interpersonal relationships between the main characters. For the actual drama and thriller portion, I was on the edge of my seat at times, stressed and nervous for Marion or Carol, cheering them at at times, freaking out for them at times! And there's a good twist in the end that was wonderful! If you like a good story wrapped in great characters, wrapped in a good murder mystery, this is one for you!
December 29, 2025
Loved every bit of this read!! Combining two distinctive genres—dark humor and romance, without overwhelming the reader, is a real skill, and the author executes it perfectly. From the accidental murd3r committed by Marion to Carol, her friend, and an honest police officer, stepping in to protect her, and the subtle romance brewing between the stoic Carol and Tara, who is in charge of the murder case, the narrative remains a truly gripping read.
My favorite part of the story was Cameron’s murd3r. I was wishing for his death from the moment he was introduced, and seeing every single villain get what they deserved made it even more satisfying. I absolutely loved it.
My favorite part of the story was Cameron’s murd3r. I was wishing for his death from the moment he was introduced, and seeing every single villain get what they deserved made it even more satisfying. I absolutely loved it.
December 13, 2025
Dark, funny, morally messy! What kept me hooked was the Sapphic heartbeat running through it. Marion and Carol are each other's ride or die. The kind that brings the shovel. Their bond is full of secrets and bad ideas. It's tender and complicated like most of my relationships. Marion's humor lands! She's so human, so frazzled. Watching her spiral from 'I'm just a teacher trying to get my grades in' to 'ugh, I might accidentally be a serial killer' is equally hilarious and unsettling in the best way.
October 19, 2025
This book! What an awesome surprise! I would say it's a perfect palate cleanser: clever, funny, and impossible to put down. It’s got a little bit of everything: crime, humour, a touch of romance, and just the right amount of chaos. The writing flows so effortlessly that you find yourself flying through the pages without even realising it.
It’s one of those stories that reminds you how much fun reading can be. Definitely a new favourite and one I’ll be recommending to friends!
It’s one of those stories that reminds you how much fun reading can be. Definitely a new favourite and one I’ll be recommending to friends!
October 19, 2025
Okay. I admit it. Not A Crime is well written. Some people even call it funny; I’ve seen plenty of reviews praising the humour.
But I don’t get it. Because the book deals with grim, painful subjects that are not a laughing matter. There’s nothing amusing about what happens in this story.
Sure, it’s clever. But clever doesn’t excuse making light of suffering. Some things just shouldn’t be laughed at.
But I don’t get it. Because the book deals with grim, painful subjects that are not a laughing matter. There’s nothing amusing about what happens in this story.
Sure, it’s clever. But clever doesn’t excuse making light of suffering. Some things just shouldn’t be laughed at.
October 26, 2025
Just finished this book and loved it! Crime(s)--yes, really crimes! Best friends. Romance. Mystery. You get it all here. The book is full of heart, sharp wit, and just the right mix of chaos and charm. The tone throughout hits just the right notes with a perfect balance of some serious stuff along with humor.
The characters felt so alive. They are quirky, flawed and relatable. Total gem! Grab it and read it now!
The characters felt so alive. They are quirky, flawed and relatable. Total gem! Grab it and read it now!
December 10, 2025
"Nice bit of work for this sucktastic day." Not a Crime by Merit L had me laughing out loud while still keeping me on edge. It was impossible to put down, I tore through it! The dynamic between the three women felt incredibly real. And even though the book tackles a heavy topic (child molestation), Merit approaches it with care and centers the story on delivering justice to the perps. Highly recommend!
December 16, 2025
I don’t want to say much about this as I don’t want to ruin it…all I’ll say is that it’s British, quirky and original with some excellent black humour as murder, misadventure and accident befall one of our heroines (and embroils another) whilst the clues are being pursued by an astute female detective. There are characters to root for and others to loathe (most of the men!) and it’s not like anything I’ve ever read before. A total breath of fresh air and reason alone to give this 5 stars!
November 28, 2025
This book wasn’t my preferred genre so I had a hard time getting into it. That is why I gave it four stars with that said if you like dark humor and crime fiction then you will love this book. It is very well written, and the characters are great.
September 22, 2025
This had me hooked from the moment I read "death by dido."
The many characters dont get confusing, and all stand out in their own right. The writing is sharp, humorous and the story itself has great pace.
Not my usual genre, but a very pleasant surprise.
The many characters dont get confusing, and all stand out in their own right. The writing is sharp, humorous and the story itself has great pace.
Not my usual genre, but a very pleasant surprise.
December 23, 2025
What surprised me most was how funny this book is. The back-and-forth between Marion and Carol had serious Odd Couple energy, with shades of Thelma & Louise, Laverne & Shirley, and even Three’s Company once Tara enters the mix. The dialogue is sharp, the situations are absurd in the best way, and the friendships carry the story as much as the suspense. It’s a story that moves like a crime thriller and knows exactly when to lean into humor without undercutting the stakes.
November 1, 2025
I really enjoyed this romp of a novel! From page one, you know you’re in for a ride - and Merit L. sure makes it a good one!
I enjoyed the narrative, which is genuine, witty and flows easily. I laughed out loud more than once!
The characters are well done and believable. Marion and Carol truly are the sort of friends who would hide a body for each other - for better or worse! I wanted to see a little more of Tara and Carol falling in love, but their relationship took a backseat to the drama and I’m not mad at it. The bad guys were a fully developed menace worthy of the attention.
Overall this was a very fun read and I’d recommend it to anyone looking for a dark comedy with a cast of badass female leads.
I enjoyed the narrative, which is genuine, witty and flows easily. I laughed out loud more than once!
The characters are well done and believable. Marion and Carol truly are the sort of friends who would hide a body for each other - for better or worse! I wanted to see a little more of Tara and Carol falling in love, but their relationship took a backseat to the drama and I’m not mad at it. The bad guys were a fully developed menace worthy of the attention.
Overall this was a very fun read and I’d recommend it to anyone looking for a dark comedy with a cast of badass female leads.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews