Things We Wish Our Parents Knew: Anonymous Letters from Teenagers That Inspire Courageous Conversations

by Michael Chiasson

“Don’t leave us alone. Keep it up until we let you in.”



Parents today, on a never-ending search for ways to empathize with, connect with, and guide our teenage children, often forget to start at the by asking what our children need us to know. Author Michael Chiasson has hit upon a brilliant cross-generational concept—teens writing anonymous short letters to parents about their fears and desires—that can be immensely helpful to both the kids and their caregivers, who often approach issues from very different perspectives.



In Things We Wish Our Parents Knew, Michael draws from his decades of experience speaking with students across North America, as well as his own childhood experiences, to help parents, teachers, and others who interact with teens break down barriers between them and the kids in their care. In his talks, by giving students the prompt “Things I wish my parents knew,” he unleashes a world of honest and unspoken wishes, needs, concerns, and emotions that most parents have no idea their children are feeling. The result is parents who gain clarity and teens who feel seen, valued, heard, and loved.



In this book, Michael distills the gold mine of information from these letters into universal lessons, as well as exercises for reflection and connection, that all caregivers can learn from. His heartfelt, accessible guidance, along with excerpts from the letters themselves, provides an indispensable bridge for the gap between adults and teens and an answer to the all-important How can we better understand our children and build a stronger connection with them?

Genres: Nonfiction

174 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 23, 2025

Reviews

[Katelyn Dodge · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't have teenagers, but as a new mom I think this is a great book for all parents to read. It's really important to have the tough conversations with our kids and be open and honest so they don't keep secrets. Some of the letters in this book are heartbreaking thinking they can't say these things out loud to their own parents.

[Angelica · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a single mother of three, I often wonder if I'm doing enough, if I'm being a good parent to my children. Reading this book helped me understand that often, my kids want the simple things - not the money, the gifts, the material things. They want ME, my time, my focus and effort. There were so many "aha" moments in the book for me - the idea that we are all a work in progress, we can still improve. That our upbringing doesn't define us and how we are going to parent. That our kids are kids - yes, they'll make mistakes, but that's how they are going to learn. As parents, we need to allow them to fly, explore life, get hurt -- which is SO HARD as a parent -- I just want to wrap them up in bubble wrap, but have to fight against that to allow them to have fulfilling lives of their own. As parents, we can help establish some guardrails, of course, and set the model (of our own actions and behaviors) to mold them into being upright, ethical, and moral humans.

A favorite passage in the book was about the grass being greener, you know, the famous adage. Instead of yearning for what's on the other side, "the truth is that the grass is greener were we choose to water and maintain the grass." Mic drop.

I enjoyed how each chapter had "Acccept", "Reflect", and "Connect" with a summarization of what was just learned and how we can take it forward. I also enjoyed the quotes from the kids at the end - the answers to the question "what do you wish your parents know?" The answers were so simple -- just be there for your kids, let them know you are a safe space in the world.

*I received an ARC copy of this book through NetGalley and am leaving a voluntary review.*

[stephanie ness · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not a self help book type girly but I saw this ARC on netgalley and thought it sounded interesting.

As a parent of four kids at various stages of life and development this was a fun read. It helped me see things I forgot about when I was a kid. I highlighted this book I think like I did my nursing text books. Highly recommend a pre order or buying when it’s released September 23rd!

[Gina · Rating 4 out of 5]

With anonymous letters from teens, this book felt like the author was advocating for parents to see and understand the kids’ point of view.

The author shares his personal life experiences and what it was like overcoming adversities and navigating these malleable years.

I felt much more engaged around the 60% mark when the author clearly reminds parents to be more reflective, “when we try to run away from problems or pretend that whatever needs to be dealt with, isn’t a big deal the problem will follow us around until we finally confronted it.”

“Our kids actions are not always a reflection of our parenting, but they can be clues to what our children feel they are missing. When there is something lacking in the relationship between parent and child, the child often seeks to fill that void in ways they know how which can be hard for parents to accept…That unsettled feeling we experience may reveal our lack of attention or provision, which led our child to seek something outside of the family bond.”

[QueenoftheBookDragons · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want to start by saying THANK YOU to Goodreads for this giveaway!! I entered the giveaway at random, never expecting to actually win it, and got a special surprise email saying I’d won a Goodreads giveaway 🙌🏽 I had just finished a book last night and hadn’t moved on to my next read yet so I thought “let me just read this one and see what I think.” And I cannot tell you how divine the timing of reading this book was. At the time of reading it, I was at my wits end with my girls. Feeling burnt out and starting to exist on a hair trigger of frustration and irritation. Starting to be critical of everything, only reacting when something negative was happening, etc etc. The guilt was weighing on me and I was just feeling done. Then I started reading this book and I felt SEEN and Validated and Heard and Convicted. It was what I needed to read at the most perfect time. So thank you, again 🫶🏼

If someone were to ask “What’s the last book that made you cry?” I honestly wouldn’t be able to come up with an answer…
But if someone asked me that today, I’d tell them it was “Things We Wish Our Parents Knew.”

My daughters are 4 and 6 and I am SO glad I read this book now, rather than putting it aside because I don’t have teenagers yet. It’s never too early to prep for a stage you KNOW is coming. It’s never too early to start that foundation for a healthy and lasting relationship with your kids.

This book was a powerful read and spoke to so many aspects of myself and validated so many areas of my parenting journey while also convicting me in other areas. Using the gut wrenching medium of teens’ own letters to their parents about things they wish they could share or would want their parent to know just got me right in the feels.
It reminded me that time is the most precious commodity we have and we have a responsibility to ourselves and our families to use it wisely.
It also made me reflect on what teenage Me would have wanted to write my parents and say “I wish you knew… about me.”
Oof, talk about opening up old wounds and bruises…shining a light on the darkness that I hid as a kid.

The Author, Michael Chiasson, ends the book with this seemingly simple task:

“IT’S YOUR TURN—

Don’t hold back here—you have permission to be as raw and honest as you are willing to be. What do you wish your parents knew?”

I’ll have to reflect on this…it won’t be easy and probably won’t be pretty, but I think teenage Me deserves to be heard and have her say too 🫶🏼

[Faithe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Things we wish our parents knew: anonymous letters from teenagers that inspire courageous conversations by Michael Chiasson is a good read for anyone that has or deals with teens or pre-teens.

Michael blends his own story with advice and thoughts from teens who wrote anonymously about their thoughts, feelings and point of views. For one reason or another they felt they couldn't just come out and say these things but with the promise of anonymity they bared their souls in hopes of someone seeing the real them and changing how things are done so they feel more seen and heard.

This book reminds me of the postsecret website but for teens. This for anyone looking to understand and relate more effectively to the young people in their lives. I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion and review.

[Michele · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a grandmother, having raised three children, and now helping my divorced daughter raise my grandson. I was expecting to get useful insights to help support my daughter and grandson. I found the book to be very helpful in refocusing on the child’s needs and perspectives. But more than that, I found myself identifying with my own childhood struggles and unresolved conflicts from many years ago. The author’s message that a child is not his mistakes resonated with me and helped me to finally find my own self forgiveness. I am grateful for the wisdom shared and feel wiser and more prepared to be the best grandmother that my grandchildren need. Thank you.

[Reanne - (Faith, Fiction, Fact and Fluff) · Rating 5 out of 5]

So glad I picked this one up.

In short, easy to digest chapters, Michael weaves together personal stories from his childhood and short excerpts written by thousands of teenagers from his speaking engagements over the years.

Would definitely recommend this book if you're a parent of pre-teens and teenagers. My kids are still young, but there was a lot of wisdom I was able to take from it.

4.5 stars

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every parent, grandparent, aunt and uncle should read this book! This is an insightful blend of narrative, advice and the real words and inner thoughts of our youth. It helps you understand and relate in a more effective way with the young people of today.

[Debbie Trenker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I’d had this book sooner

What an eye-opening book. Such simple concepts but things we are often too busy to think of. I am using it now for my Godson and Grandson but I wish I’d had it earlier so I could have done a better job with my own children

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful. It’s good to see where other teens are as a stepping stone for what to talk about with your own.

[Jessica Space · Rating 4 out of 5]

as a parent tk a tween girl, I feel I am in uncharted territory. I loved this book, it have some guidance when I often feel like I need some help.

[Calleigh Swift · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full of beautiful, honest snippets from teenagers, accompanied by poignant commentary. Chiasson's book is good for parents, teachers, and therapists alike.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC!

[AMAO · Rating 5 out of 5]

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