How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside: An Alternative Guide to Writing and Enjoying Poetry

by Brian Bilston

Why do we write poetry? Who should write it? And where do you even start?

Well, Brian Bilston, one of the UK’s most hilarious and best-loved poets, is here to take us through the hows, whys and whats of reading, writing and enjoying poetry every day.

With his characteristic wit and charm, Bilston accompanies us through the jungle of imagination to the source of inspiration, takes us under the bonnet of a sonnet and over the fear of literary devices. He gives us a whirlwind tour through the history of verse, and shows us why human poetry will always triumph over any attempts by AI.

Showcasing over a hundred brand new poems, and including practical critiques of some of his greatest hits, every page is an immensely pleasurable deep-dive into the life-affirming craft of poetry and a passionate argument for why we should all pick up a pen.

How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside is for anyone who loves words and all the things they can do.

Genres: Poetry, Nonfiction, Audiobook

232 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 16, 2026

About the author

Brian Bilston is a poet whose work has been shared widely on social media over the last few years. He has been described as the 'unofficial Poet Laureate of Twitter'.

Reviews

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliant poetry, Brian Bilston makes me laugh out loud. I’m not going to start writing poetry so I wasn’t interested in the guide to writing part.

[Mindaugas Mozūras · Rating 3 out of 5]

I came to it as one who rarely stays
With poems long, and holds them at a distance,
And thought perhaps this book might shift my gaze,
Or make some case for verse despite resistance.

It offers poetry sideways, not as law,
But as a thing misheard, half-made, askew;
Its humor kept me smiling more than awed,
Yet still it made the whole idea feel new.

Some air came through the subject, and it seemed
Less sealed by reverence, less a scholar’s rite;
It brought verse down from pedestals I’d dreamed,
To something human-sized, and oddly light.

Not one I loved, but one I’m glad I knew -
Competent, odd, and sometimes almost new.

[Ali Newboult · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brian Bilston is so good at making poetry fun. Like, actually fun - not the kind you feel like you should appreciate, but the kind you genuinely enjoy reading. This whole collection is full of clever, playful, slightly bonkers poems that made me smile more times than I can count.

The poems themselves are what make it special. Every page feels like the author was having a great time writing it, and that joy is contagious. Some are hilarious, some are surprisingly sweet, and they all feel refreshingly unpretentious.

[Ella · Rating 4 out of 5]

A pleasurable read about the beauty of poetry. I had started and stopped this book, before properly taking the time to sit down with it, and had such a fun time! I love Bilston’s poetry and enjoy when his work pops up on my instagram page. I have really gotten into poetry lately as I am teaching a lot of it, and it was really helpful having someone’s passion and “tips” articulated in a fun and accessible way. Hopefully, I can inspire the same enthusiasm in students! I did also write one poem whilst reading this book and would like to write more - consider me inspired!

[Theo Smaller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brian Bilston's self-deprecating yet wise voice makes reading this guide to poetry as entertaining as it is genuinely insightful. Bilston understands poetry in all its forms and nuances, and explains it in a way that is understandable to a beginner, and yet still enjoyable for someone already versed in the subject.

The inclusion of poems throughout was a smart choice to illustrate his points, and allow for a lot of fun meta-textual moments. On top of this, they're just really good. This might be the most I've ever laughed at a book, as I found myself genuinely giggling time and time again which is not particularly common for me whilst reading. I am really fond of his narrative voice, which seeps with self-awareness and irony, but is so confident and assuring at the same time.

This is a great book that you should read at your earliest convenience.

[Harry Weir · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to Pan Macmillan for a proof of this book. Even for someone who is quite fussy and generally not too bothered about poetry this was a fantastic and much needed joyful read. This really shines a light on what is so great about poetry specifically and writing generally. This will give you a new and refreshed appreciation for all things poetic and literary, with the added bonus of many many many amusing lines, stanzas, verse, and some of the right words in the best order.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wobbled a bit with Brian Bilston's novel... it was required back at the library before I'd finished but I didn't take steps to finish it then or later. So I did wonder how this book, which is both poetry and prose would go down. Phenomenally well! I do not think you need to have the faintest aspirations to write or study poetry to appreciate this as a guide. A sage (and lightly sobering) guide despite all the joy and all the laughs.

[Simon R · Rating 3 out of 5]

My S.O. took me to Salts Mill just outside of Leeds to see the Hockney collection (RIP) and generally improve me culturally. Turns out Hockney's work is amazing and the guy was a genius. Not only is there also a fantastic little peace museum there, but they also have a great bookshop - and not only art books. That's where I bought this- I opened it randomly and it made me laugh.

For any aspiring poet - or writer , who wants some tools to help think about words, structure, do's and don'ts - this is a helpful book - and some of the poetry is brilliant. But it's a book to dip in and pit of, while you are reading another book.

As a book, this would make a great gift to someone who loves reading but you're not sure what to get them.

I got a bit bored at times - but I'm not a writer or an aspiring poet.

[GP Hyde · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you read Brian Bilston’s work on social media, you’ll love this. If you listen to Frank Skinner’s Poetry Podcast, you’ll love this. If you listen to Ian MacMillan’s The Verb, you’ll love this
If you fancy having a go at writing a bit of poetry, buy this book. You’ll never look back. You’ll have a laugh and you’ll get plenty of great tips on how to get started.

This is a deceptively simple book that interweaves pieces from BB with discursive accounts of how and why he’s written them. It’s deeply authoritative as you might expect from the Poet Laureate of Twitter/X/that social media stuff. it’s worth a ton of all those ‘How to Write…’ books and far, far more affordable from the hundreds of online courses.

[Heather H · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’d love to say that reading this had made my poems better
After all I read each page - yes every single letter
It had some good ideas and contained some witty lines
I couldn’t help but think they’re better than everything of mine
In the end, when I had finished, as I usually do
I had to find some words to write my book review:
The poems here collected are exactly what you’ll know
If you follow Brian Bilston to avoid the social media shitshow
It is rightly entertaining, a witty look at how to write
But if you think it’ll make you a poet, then I don’t know quite
How to tell you that the best advice that Mr Bilston gives
Is to find another profession that is not the rhyming biz

[Leona · Rating 4 out of 5]

Learn all about poetry the Brian Bilston way in this amusing guide to a more entertaining understanding of the ins & outs of the written word. Bilston’s affable style will bring an extra zing to your day with his tips and recommendations on how to successfully navigate the various forms of poems. Sprinkled throughout is a selection of tremendous poems that perfectly match his words of light-hearted wisdom.

I received an early copy from the publishers via NetGalley in exchange for a review.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book and I love the author’s back catalogue too. The title makes no sense until you get the explanation in the book but do not be put off. Read, smile, laugh, enjoy the cleverness. Realise that despite the advice in this book, becoming a poet of Brian’s calibre will require more than a horse and an egg. Favourite poem? Too many to choose!

[Bethany · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this as an experience, although I think the tone lost me sometimes. The sarcasm often went completely over my head and I do not know if anything I read was actually truthful (my best guess, 50/50).

However I did laugh, and then cry, and i did get most of it... so idk

Also, I too strongly dislike Jacob Rees-Mog.

[Stephen Dunstan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this for Father's Day, and wasn't sure how much fun it would be compared with BB's straight poetry collections. I needn't have worried, the narrative is often as funny as the poems themselves. Occasional lulls, generally very amusing.

[Liz Mistry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having recently turned my hand at the odd poem (I even took a class) I think this was an easy to understand, encouraging take on who should write poetry (anybody with an idea) and why (because it's good for the soul)
I found it informative and I appreciated the chatty side of it.

[Joanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love the author's humorous take on creating poetry. It is more inspirational than informative though. The poems inside however make the book absolutely brilliant.

[Theodora · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 ⭐️

[Aidan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very enjoyable.

[Carleycatandbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was really interesting.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. Audiobook. Pretty funny, and a bit educational.

[Maureen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audiobook, narrated by the author.

I've spent a lifetime Dealing With Poetry, and enjoyed this very much. Clever stuff. He's right about Simon Armitage, too.

[Emily]

Lived listening to this. Brian Bilston is a poetry genius for the modern age.

[Theediscerning · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful extended essay about poetry, how she floats and how it works for those who sail in her, by one of the social media world's favourite providers of world class doggerel, wit and versified entertainment. It's not really an instructional manual, for it's far too chatty than the volume that just tells us to try this, do that, avoid the other. But with its specially-provided examples you certainly get the gist of how it works at its best, and there's more than enough about what it's like to write the stuff to not feel short-changed. And it's a darned sight more amusing than the general tutorial, proving to be great company for the reading time. I frankly didn't expect much less, mind.

[Katy Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Entertaining as all h£ll, love Bilston's poems, his wit and his inspirational approach.

I am now actually inspired to try writing something poetic. This book was full of Bilston's own published work, some I knew from his other books, but most of this is a 'how to' guide, irreverent and spit-out-your-drink funny at times.

This was warm and witty, never less than entertaining, and also showed someone in love with language enjoying sharing this, sharing his sense of humour and just occasionally, a helpful tip.

Great range of poems to illustrate his points (mostly), loved the definitions of technical terms and their demonstration, some new ones that I loved learning about, so this was really helpful.

While I got this from the library, it's actually a book I'd consider buying as reference material, which was not what I expected. I expected a funny little tome with some ideas on writing, but I'm kinda now wanting to use Bilston's "Index of Poems I Shall Never Write" as a personal challenge.

Your Spatula first or On Waking in a Dudley Travelodge? (I'm from Wolverhampton, so this was doubly riotous).

Love the book, Brian. Keep 'em coming, please. You're a genius.

[John Appleton · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd initially thought this merely a book of poems when I ordered it months ago, but pleasingly, it seems to be something of a guide to poetry as well. I say pleasingly, as I write a lot of poetry, and am always open to a few new ideas and ways of thinking about things - and there are plenty of enjoyable poems in here too, to illustrate his points.

My earliest impressions were that the book seems a bit more like a parody of poetry guides, but then as he gets into the nitty gritty of things it does become more instructive, and in a light, readable manner without too much worrying about the difference between dactyls and amphibrachs or what differentiates a Petrarchan sonnet from its Shakespearean relative. The technical stuff you can easily look up in your own time, of course.

There are sections on various forms of poetry, with examples, advice on how to get your poetry out there, how to go about writing it and getting ideas - all good stuff if you want to have a stab at poetry. For me the most useful was the section on free verse; it's a form I rarely write in as I've never felt I can do it right (in as much as there can be a right way), maybe with the advice herein I'll try it a bit more.

The poems included are pithy and witty and typical of Bilston's sense of humour, and even if you do just want this book for the joy of the poems in their own right, there's enough of them there to perhaps justify the price.

[Dawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Brian's poems and was able to see him perform in 2025, one of the best, funniest nights out.
I'm never going to write poetry but it was good to have a few insights into how/why others do.
Brian's poems make you realise that poetry isn't just for old, stuffy people, and can reach out to a wider audience. If you don't already, you should follow him on social media for a daily smile of modern poetry.

[Carrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a witty and satirical guide to reading, writing and enjoying poetry, with 130 of Brian’s new poems used to illustrate the different themes and sources of inspiration he discusses.

I love following Brian on here and Facebook, and seeing his poems pop into my feed to break up the doom scrolling and make me smile! So it’s lovely to have a proper collection of his work on my shelf finally!

If you’ve not read any of Brian’s poetry before, I highly recommend checking him out on here (or buying this book!) He often writes about topical news subjects with his trademark wit, intelligence and embracing of the absurdity of life. His poems also include a lot of play on words and language which I love.

The commentary in the book, around the world of poetry and how to write poems, is hilarious. Brian shares his sharp and intelligent humour whilst very much not taking himself seriously! I really enjoyed that juxtaposition of his very intelligent and erudite poetry musings and his making fun of how pretentious and inaccessible the idea of poetry is often viewed.

The format, with the mix of fun musings and poems works really well and means you could read it front to back, like I did, or dip into it as your own leisure!

[Shari · Rating 5 out of 5]

My introduction to the poetry of Brian Bilston was through BorrowBox, when I borrowed and listened to his collection of Christmas poetry. What a delightful experience! I laughed all the way through it. So when I saw this title on NetGalley, I jumped at it. I was not disappointed and once again, I laughed my way through the book. It's a great read and a perfect way to consider how poetry can be a part of your life in a playful and creative way, whether as a reader or a writer. Bilston's approach is refreshing. He's not pretentious or trying to impress with obscure references and forms. It's not like he's dismissing form altogether--he uses form as appropriate. Sometimes his subject matter is serious and about important issues, but he doesn't hit readers over the head with it. In addition to making me laugh, many of his poems made me stop and think. I've known many people who have told me that they'd like to read poetry but they just don't understand it. Now I direct these people to the work of Brian Bilston and tell them that he's quite accessible, very entertaining, and very much worth reading.

Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for a digital review copy.

[Nicola Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brian Bilston is not only an amazing writer but his poetry is fantastic. I’m not a complete poetry aficionado but this book made me feel like I could write poetry!

Not only is there a wealth of knowledge in here but it’s filled with humour and written in such a way that you laugh and learn. It’s even a great book for those who don’t care about poetry, there’s hundreds of poems in here written by the author and they’re honestly worth a read alone!

It’s a great book to keep coming back to and super enjoyable.

Thank you to the author and publisher for this book in NetGalley in return for my honest thoughts and review.

[Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a guide to reading and writing poetry. It's very useful and written in an easy accessable way.
It's also very funny. I haven't read much of Bilston's poetry so this was a new experience for me. I love how this is a serious guide to poetry but also full of witty poems of his own.
I really enjoyed reading this as it put a smile on my face.