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205 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 20, 2025
Old people forgot quickly. He thought they minded about things less. Like Aunt Lily. She adored her husband but when he died she cried for a day or two, then tidied up the house, ate more heartily and drank more stout than ever before. She talked about ‘poor old Fred’ as if he had never really lived in the place. Dick knew that in a few days Gran would refer to Grand-dad as ‘poor’. The dead were always ‘poor’.
‘Do you want to go back?’
‘No,’ Reggie answered quickly. He paused. ‘I want to stay ’ere.’
‘I love you,’ Dick said. He couldn’t believe he had said it and when Reggie didn’t answer he wondered if in fact he had. He didn’t know how to go on.
‘When you kiss me and that,’ he said at last, nervously, ‘you don’t pretend I’m a girl or anything?’
‘Don’t be daft,’ Reggie said. ‘ ’Ow could I pretend you was a girl? You’re the wrong shape.’
That’s not what I meant, thought Dick.
‘I don’t want to pretend you’re a girl neither,’ Reggie said suddenly, his voice far louder than before.
‘I don’t think you are either,’ Dick said. ‘I mean I know you aren’t but I wouldn’t want you to be. I love you as you are.’ After a while he added, ‘It’s funny, isn’t it. I mean we don’t want to put on lipstick or anything like that, do we?’
He only wanted Reggie, whatever keeping him entailed. He would steal, lie or kill to keep Reggie. He was burdened by his love for Reggie, full of jealousy and anxiety. All he wanted was for this episode to be over, and to be with Reggie, far away, at sea.