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Slay Bells
Enjoying the holiday shopping season at the new local mall, Diana Connelly is horrified when she and her friends are trapped there during a snow storm and a twisted killer begins checking off a list of his own.
204 pages, Paperback
First published December 1, 1994
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews
June 3, 2018
“You’d better watch out / You’d better not cry / You’d better not pout / I’m telling you why / Santa Claus is stabbing you in the face over and over and over again until you’re dead!” That’s the beautiful traditional Christmas carol my family sang when I was a child, and that I sing it to my children today. And it’s also the wonderful song that runs through Jo Gibson’s Slay Bells, a 1994 Yuletide YA slasher written by Jo Gibson, a pen name for Joanne Fluke, author of the Hannah Swensen baking mystery books. Read my full review over at Tor.
February 2, 2022
Slay Bells has one of the eeriest covers I've seen a 90s YA scare-back get away with, particularly for one of the most sacred, conservative seasons. Just look at that dripping blood font! The malevolent reflection in the silver bells! The insinuation that Santa is at your door and this time it's PERSONAL!
It ambitiously mixes "Chopping Mall" with "Silent Night, Deadly Night" if those movies could be combined with as little violence or suggestive content as possible, and fronted by a group of college-aged characters that have the psychological complexity of tweens. Fortunately, it's quickly paced, the nostalgic 80s mall culture setting is used to the fullest potential, and the unintentional camp in the dialogue had me laughing out loud more than once.
Some observations that I must remark on and might be considered a little spoilery:
-The killer has a very sympathetic motive in the beginning but it devolves into petty, nit-picking toward the end. It was as if Gibson wanted to safeguard against them being empathized with by the reader. It was also a bit of a cop out having them killed off-page and not following up on what surely had to be some PR fallout for Crossroads Mall, especially taking Paul's documentary into consideration. The theme of corporate greed ruining the livelihood and traditions of rural landowners should have carried over to the end and been explored more than it was. Then again, this was aimed at middle schooler to early highschool age so what do I know.
-Paul's choice to title his documentary of their traumatic experience "Slay Bells" was hilariously insensitive. I get that he's an aspiring director trying to make his mark past PA but come on, people died! Also there's no way in hell the Crossroads Mall would have let that air and he would have been threatened with legal action to even try. Heather's dad had a part in building the mall after all and Larry and Dave were Christmas volunteers. Profiting off the local tragedy would not have flown well for the grieving families or the mall management.
-Apparently there are singers so good looking that they don't have to have any talent. Lip syncing and piano syncing... Why not just model then?
-Cindy and Diana are supposed to be college aged but they honestly only seem to live for the dream of having a boyfriend and putting down other women. Despite being stuck at a mall near Christmas during one of the worst snow storms in their town's history and having to witness several of their friends get picked off, they both can be easily reassured by a kiss or approval of their love interest. Cindy was supposed to be an outspoken bitch but she's immediately neutered from her sassy side by the power of love I guess. Heather is treated with contempt from the girls from the beginning for being a notorious boyfriend thief, but they're honestly just as low for talking trash about her nonstop. They even stoop to gloating over her looking fat on camera. I guess Heather gets what could be considered a redemption streak, but only before she is horribly murdered so....meh
It ambitiously mixes "Chopping Mall" with "Silent Night, Deadly Night" if those movies could be combined with as little violence or suggestive content as possible, and fronted by a group of college-aged characters that have the psychological complexity of tweens. Fortunately, it's quickly paced, the nostalgic 80s mall culture setting is used to the fullest potential, and the unintentional camp in the dialogue had me laughing out loud more than once.
Some observations that I must remark on and might be considered a little spoilery:
-The killer has a very sympathetic motive in the beginning but it devolves into petty, nit-picking toward the end. It was as if Gibson wanted to safeguard against them being empathized with by the reader. It was also a bit of a cop out having them killed off-page and not following up on what surely had to be some PR fallout for Crossroads Mall, especially taking Paul's documentary into consideration. The theme of corporate greed ruining the livelihood and traditions of rural landowners should have carried over to the end and been explored more than it was. Then again, this was aimed at middle schooler to early highschool age so what do I know.
-Paul's choice to title his documentary of their traumatic experience "Slay Bells" was hilariously insensitive. I get that he's an aspiring director trying to make his mark past PA but come on, people died! Also there's no way in hell the Crossroads Mall would have let that air and he would have been threatened with legal action to even try. Heather's dad had a part in building the mall after all and Larry and Dave were Christmas volunteers. Profiting off the local tragedy would not have flown well for the grieving families or the mall management.
-Apparently there are singers so good looking that they don't have to have any talent. Lip syncing and piano syncing... Why not just model then?
-Cindy and Diana are supposed to be college aged but they honestly only seem to live for the dream of having a boyfriend and putting down other women. Despite being stuck at a mall near Christmas during one of the worst snow storms in their town's history and having to witness several of their friends get picked off, they both can be easily reassured by a kiss or approval of their love interest. Cindy was supposed to be an outspoken bitch but she's immediately neutered from her sassy side by the power of love I guess. Heather is treated with contempt from the girls from the beginning for being a notorious boyfriend thief, but they're honestly just as low for talking trash about her nonstop. They even stoop to gloating over her looking fat on camera. I guess Heather gets what could be considered a redemption streak, but only before she is horribly murdered so....meh
December 19, 2016
No. Just no.
Maybe yes if you're nine years old.
Wait.
I take that back.
Just no.
Maybe yes if you're nine years old.
Wait.
I take that back.
Just no.
June 15, 2022
Imagine taking the concept of being trapped in a mall ala Chopping Mall, minus the robots, but with an added dash of a super vindictive friend who insists on dressing up as Santa to murder, and you have Slay Bells. Sounds pretty great right?
Prepping for the grand opening of a mall during Christmas time, a group of college kids get snowed in, and are forced to basically live out my childhood dream of having the mall to themselves: they get drunk at the pub, watch whatever movies they want in the theater, partake in some bowling, try on the fanciest dresses at the nicest stores, and camp out in the furniture department.
Unfortunately, they start dying in some epic and legit ways. Popcorn machine electrocution! Planter to the head! Elevator of doom! Santa is pissed (honestly, don't throw away grandma's jam) and he's gonna take his revenge! Ho, Ho, Ho, hell yes.
Prepping for the grand opening of a mall during Christmas time, a group of college kids get snowed in, and are forced to basically live out my childhood dream of having the mall to themselves: they get drunk at the pub, watch whatever movies they want in the theater, partake in some bowling, try on the fanciest dresses at the nicest stores, and camp out in the furniture department.
Unfortunately, they start dying in some epic and legit ways. Popcorn machine electrocution! Planter to the head! Elevator of doom! Santa is pissed (honestly, don't throw away grandma's jam) and he's gonna take his revenge! Ho, Ho, Ho, hell yes.
December 29, 2022
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A 5 STAR BOOK!! Killer Santa on the loose. Horny drunk teens snowed in at the mall. A high kill count. SO WTH HAPPENED.
Honestly I would've given this book 2 stars, if not for the wild kills that happen. But it's a SLOGGG to get there. Why is this book so boring with so much filler?? Do we really need multiple pages of "I didn't do it, YOU did it" "No, YOU did it"?? Do we really need multiple pages of a bowling contest with the teens yukking it up,
The stakes never feel high in this book, because no-one seems to give a shit that PEOPLE ARE DYING. Meanwhile there's a raging snow storm outside and they can't escape and they're all getting killed off one by one but NO MATTER! Let's all have a fashion show and go bowling!
I do love that the author used Milli Vanilli as an action verb in a sentence and also seemed to be inspired by the 1984 Xmas slasher "Silent Night Deadly Night" (A young Santa who seeks out naughty boys and girls to "PUNISH") And YES the kills are awesome and brutal (for a 90's YA)...but just be warned...it was naughty of Jo Gibson to write so many snoozy passages when this book could've been so much more thrilling. You better watch out. 🎅💀
Honestly I would've given this book 2 stars, if not for the wild kills that happen. But it's a SLOGGG to get there. Why is this book so boring with so much filler?? Do we really need multiple pages of "I didn't do it, YOU did it" "No, YOU did it"?? Do we really need multiple pages of a bowling contest with the teens yukking it up,
The stakes never feel high in this book, because no-one seems to give a shit that PEOPLE ARE DYING. Meanwhile there's a raging snow storm outside and they can't escape and they're all getting killed off one by one but NO MATTER! Let's all have a fashion show and go bowling!
I do love that the author used Milli Vanilli as an action verb in a sentence and also seemed to be inspired by the 1984 Xmas slasher "Silent Night Deadly Night" (A young Santa who seeks out naughty boys and girls to "PUNISH") And YES the kills are awesome and brutal (for a 90's YA)...but just be warned...it was naughty of Jo Gibson to write so many snoozy passages when this book could've been so much more thrilling. You better watch out. 🎅💀
December 6, 2020
This book actually turned out better than I expected.
It had great mystery, a great plot and great atmosphere.
If you can see past the plot holes, you can enjoy the read.
While it was cheesy....very, to some degree; it was a lot of fun and really put me in the Christmas spirit.
Ho, Ho, Ho!!!
I had a lot of fun trying to guess the slasher.
Overall, I give it a solid 4 stars.
I didn't really get the ending though....?
December 20, 2023
The festive story of a group of terrifyingly unlikeable and shallow Stepford teens who get locked in a mall together in the company of a murderer with a Santa fetish who coincidentally happens to have an incredibly petty and pretty tenuous personal grudge against each of them individually. They take a long while to notice this, as they are busy being dull beyond measure and grinning at each other incessantly. The majority of the time is spent watching them explain the basic facts of the situation to each other over and over again, and immediately pair up into horrible smug heterosexual couples. The romantic scenes, of which there are far too many, are the worst part of the book; the boys are pushy, entitled bullies, and the girls swoon over them and stab each other in the back whilst entirely subsuming their own personalities (such as they are) to the requirements of their chosen mate. Our main protagonist actually wastes our time on an extended fantasy about the twin boys she plans to have with the guy who she has fancied for about 2 hours, since he kissed her forehead and told her that she should go out with him. And that’s before we have to suffer an extended “hilarious” Hershey’s kiss/real kiss misunderstanding :-(
Meanwhile some deaths happen when a pre-selected character for some reason separates themselves from the crowd and is instantly slaughtered. These deaths are swiftly brushed under the carpet; at one point the group is casually joking about the number of people involved in the mall lock-in, and forgets to count the girl who was crushed to death about an hour previously. Easy come, easy go. Out of sight (in the meat locker), out of mind. Pretty cold. Especially for the girl in the freezer.
Anyway, once all the other suspects are dead they finally identify the killer. Then there’s a shootout or something, and everything wraps itself up neatly.
Also there is some totally unnecessary racism as a bonding joke among the friends. Which really did not help endear me to the characters.
Meanwhile some deaths happen when a pre-selected character for some reason separates themselves from the crowd and is instantly slaughtered. These deaths are swiftly brushed under the carpet; at one point the group is casually joking about the number of people involved in the mall lock-in, and forgets to count the girl who was crushed to death about an hour previously. Easy come, easy go. Out of sight (in the meat locker), out of mind. Pretty cold. Especially for the girl in the freezer.
Anyway, once all the other suspects are dead they finally identify the killer. Then there’s a shootout or something, and everything wraps itself up neatly.
Also there is some totally unnecessary racism as a bonding joke among the friends. Which really did not help endear me to the characters.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 27, 2022
Gave this YA Santa slasher a try to get in the holiday spirit. I was so excited because I love me a mall setting (and trapped-in-a-mall adds some fun tension) but this is actually quite slow and doesn’t pick up until about halfway through—just a warning.
Also—these characters are psychopaths?
They’re snowed in at the mall and their friends DIE in obviously sus freak accidents and instead of grieving like normal humans, they think it’s a good idea to stuff their friends in a freezer, split up, play dress-up, and go bowling?? Who does that
Low key understand why they all ended up on Santa’s Naughty List.
They’re not scared enough so it doesn’t feel like the stakes are all that high. Not enough tension.
Also—these characters are psychopaths?
They’re snowed in at the mall and their friends DIE in obviously sus freak accidents and instead of grieving like normal humans, they think it’s a good idea to stuff their friends in a freezer, split up, play dress-up, and go bowling?? Who does that
Low key understand why they all ended up on Santa’s Naughty List.
They’re not scared enough so it doesn’t feel like the stakes are all that high. Not enough tension.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 5, 2019
It wasn't terrible! It isn't literature, it isn't a classic but if you wanted something fluff yet seasonal you could do worse. I would have watched this movie in the 80s.
December 10, 2022
Christmas horror...I love it.
Jo Gibson made Valentine's Day creepy and now she does the same to Christmas in this tale. It is like a mix of Chopping Mall meets Silent Night, Deadly Night but with a little more class despite its feel from those movies.
Our prologue is only a little bit of a spoiler but not enough to ruin the whole of the book.
It's clearly a revenge story and our antagonist future psycho Santa is out to punish those who have hurt his family but mostly the beloved grandparents swindled out of their land by the corporate greed machine to put a mall up.
The grandmother is now deceased thanks to cancer and the grandfather has Alzheimer's and is forced to be in a home. Loving grandson will get his inheritance of the land back if the mall goes under.
The grand opening of the new Crossroads Mall is tomorrow and Diana Connelly is working as one of Santa's elves since it is close to the Christmas holiday with her college roomate Cindy Swanson. The local college students have found good jobs thanks to the new shopping center. Head cheerleader Sue Langer is their boss, "head elf".
Heather Perkins is the ex-girlfriend of Cindy's older brother Jay. She dumped him when he got injured playing football at college even though she was still a high school junior. Now that Jay is back and recovered enough to play on New Years Day, Heather wants him back. A "Daddy's Girl" spoiled brat who has never worked a day in her life she gets to be the mall's Christmas Angel.
Jay is in charge of the mall Santas so that only one guy doesn't have to deal with all of the kids expected at the grand opening tree lighting ceremony the next day. Weird how the girls are always elves...I'm sure there are male elves right?
We get introduced to a few more characters but most of them won't even feature much longer (not really a spoiler though and I'll tell you why soon...) but the other guys who play Santas are Dave Atkin, Hal Bremmer and Larry Fischer.
Jay has a thing for Diana but she's reluctant to date anyone due to her having a huge crush on Shane Winter. Local boy who went off to Hollywood to be an actor and singer as well as living next door to Diana when she was a kid. A news crew is coming in to do a story on the mall opening and they are also going to film a bit of Shane performing.
He comes in that night and it's a bad omen if there ever was one I believe. The weather outside is frightful but not as bad as Diana finding out that Shane lip-syncs, can't play the piano and he makes a move on the news reporter even though he is there with another girl.
Never meet your heroes folks isn't that what they say?
However it makes Diana think twice about Jay since it's clear he has a crush on her and he is nice and handsome and makes a great Santa behind the costume (he got some tinsel wrapped around his finger earlier and still has it on while in character...cute). Also Cindy and the handsome young cameraman (college aged so it's cool) named Paul Murphy seem to be hitting it off...love at first sight.
The winter wonderland of romance is stopped to a halt when the cops show up to inform everyone present that a blizzard is coming and the employees need to stop prepping and head home. They are only allowing vehicles with 4 wheel drive, snow tires and chains to leave while offering to take as many people as they can in their vehicles...not regulation but in an emergency they have no choice.
Soon only eight people are left behind. Jay, Sue, Hal, Dave and Heather (mostly to stay behind with Jay) offer keys to their vehicles which meet the criteria and Heather's investor dad is allowing the delivery vans to take others home. Diana and Cindy and Larry, Jay's roommate, are also snowbound at the mall until snowplows can get to them.
It seems as if the college kids left behind have a pretty good set-up with food and anything else at their hands. Soon however an unexpected guest arrives and what could have been a mantle of white...will soon be dotted with red blood. Red as Santa's suit and his revenge served cold.
Even when the storm is over, Crossroads Mall may never open before Christmas or at all...
We get some good kills and we don't get a mind-blowing reveal. As the body count grows and the pool of victims dwindle it is easy to figure out who the bad guy is. The reason behind each character death is explained and you can kind of feel for the killer even if not all the bulbs on his Christmas tree seem to be lit for the smallest slight to his grandparents.
That's kind of nice...isn't it? No one respects their elders anymore so...
Once we get that done the action draws out a little more and the ending is just...ho ho hum.
The epilogue is sort of sweet though with a zinger closing line that I couldn't help myself from chuckling at.
If you haven't read Slay Bells, I'd recommend it. Not amazing but a fun read if you are into horror films like the ones I stated before or even something more atmospheric than gory
Jo Gibson made Valentine's Day creepy and now she does the same to Christmas in this tale. It is like a mix of Chopping Mall meets Silent Night, Deadly Night but with a little more class despite its feel from those movies.
Our prologue is only a little bit of a spoiler but not enough to ruin the whole of the book.
It's clearly a revenge story and our antagonist future psycho Santa is out to punish those who have hurt his family but mostly the beloved grandparents swindled out of their land by the corporate greed machine to put a mall up.
The grandmother is now deceased thanks to cancer and the grandfather has Alzheimer's and is forced to be in a home. Loving grandson will get his inheritance of the land back if the mall goes under.
The grand opening of the new Crossroads Mall is tomorrow and Diana Connelly is working as one of Santa's elves since it is close to the Christmas holiday with her college roomate Cindy Swanson. The local college students have found good jobs thanks to the new shopping center. Head cheerleader Sue Langer is their boss, "head elf".
Heather Perkins is the ex-girlfriend of Cindy's older brother Jay. She dumped him when he got injured playing football at college even though she was still a high school junior. Now that Jay is back and recovered enough to play on New Years Day, Heather wants him back. A "Daddy's Girl" spoiled brat who has never worked a day in her life she gets to be the mall's Christmas Angel.
Jay is in charge of the mall Santas so that only one guy doesn't have to deal with all of the kids expected at the grand opening tree lighting ceremony the next day. Weird how the girls are always elves...I'm sure there are male elves right?
We get introduced to a few more characters but most of them won't even feature much longer (not really a spoiler though and I'll tell you why soon...) but the other guys who play Santas are Dave Atkin, Hal Bremmer and Larry Fischer.
Jay has a thing for Diana but she's reluctant to date anyone due to her having a huge crush on Shane Winter. Local boy who went off to Hollywood to be an actor and singer as well as living next door to Diana when she was a kid. A news crew is coming in to do a story on the mall opening and they are also going to film a bit of Shane performing.
He comes in that night and it's a bad omen if there ever was one I believe. The weather outside is frightful but not as bad as Diana finding out that Shane lip-syncs, can't play the piano and he makes a move on the news reporter even though he is there with another girl.
Never meet your heroes folks isn't that what they say?
However it makes Diana think twice about Jay since it's clear he has a crush on her and he is nice and handsome and makes a great Santa behind the costume (he got some tinsel wrapped around his finger earlier and still has it on while in character...cute). Also Cindy and the handsome young cameraman (college aged so it's cool) named Paul Murphy seem to be hitting it off...love at first sight.
The winter wonderland of romance is stopped to a halt when the cops show up to inform everyone present that a blizzard is coming and the employees need to stop prepping and head home. They are only allowing vehicles with 4 wheel drive, snow tires and chains to leave while offering to take as many people as they can in their vehicles...not regulation but in an emergency they have no choice.
Soon only eight people are left behind. Jay, Sue, Hal, Dave and Heather (mostly to stay behind with Jay) offer keys to their vehicles which meet the criteria and Heather's investor dad is allowing the delivery vans to take others home. Diana and Cindy and Larry, Jay's roommate, are also snowbound at the mall until snowplows can get to them.
It seems as if the college kids left behind have a pretty good set-up with food and anything else at their hands. Soon however an unexpected guest arrives and what could have been a mantle of white...will soon be dotted with red blood. Red as Santa's suit and his revenge served cold.
Even when the storm is over, Crossroads Mall may never open before Christmas or at all...
We get some good kills and we don't get a mind-blowing reveal. As the body count grows and the pool of victims dwindle it is easy to figure out who the bad guy is. The reason behind each character death is explained and you can kind of feel for the killer even if not all the bulbs on his Christmas tree seem to be lit for the smallest slight to his grandparents.
That's kind of nice...isn't it? No one respects their elders anymore so...
Once we get that done the action draws out a little more and the ending is just...ho ho hum.
The epilogue is sort of sweet though with a zinger closing line that I couldn't help myself from chuckling at.
If you haven't read Slay Bells, I'd recommend it. Not amazing but a fun read if you are into horror films like the ones I stated before or even something more atmospheric than gory
Read
January 1, 2020DNF. From the shifting POVs to the illogical actions of, well, every character, this is one turkey I don’t need to finish this holiday season. Or any holiday season.
January 4, 2024
2.5
fun premise but got dull & repetitive.
fun premise but got dull & repetitive.
November 10, 2020
What a wild ride. I loved the idea of being trapped in a mall and being able to use all the stuff in the stores if a bit unrealistic. Also where did they shower? It’s never mentioned. Worth rereading. Would make a great nostalgic movie.
October 21, 2015
Actual rating - 2.5
This was again another dull read, but I wasn't expecting much else from it to be honest.
Glad I've finished the bind up now.
This was again another dull read, but I wasn't expecting much else from it to be honest.
Glad I've finished the bind up now.
December 13, 2023
Jesus where to begin
I didn't have super high hopes going into this one, but I didn't expect this garbage. A group of college kids are trapped in a mall during a snow storm and there's someone dressed as Santa slowly picking them off one by one. His motive for this start out a little questionable, but then get downright petty:
-Overall, the idea is to make all the deaths seem like accidents so the town will shut down the mall because it's... Accident prone? Unsafe? I dunno
-One victim swindled his grandparents out of land so they could build a mall (okay, fine, I guess)
-One was mean to the killer's grandma once when he was on a date
-One cheated a fly fishing tournament?
-One didn't like his Grandma's jam?
-One undersold his grandma's pies at a charity bake sale?
After one of the groups' friends die, they grieve for about oh *checks watch* 5 minutes? Then they chuck the body in a meat locker and go see a movie. Or go bowling. Or have a fashion show.
The killer ends up being a character that is essentially introduced like a chapter before the reveal. That's another issue in this book. There are about 5 central characters that get development, with the rest just being fodder for the body count. Even the killer is brought up abruptly as a character, the only thing we know is he makes a good beef Wellington.
This book 100% did not slay 💅
I didn't have super high hopes going into this one, but I didn't expect this garbage. A group of college kids are trapped in a mall during a snow storm and there's someone dressed as Santa slowly picking them off one by one. His motive for this start out a little questionable, but then get downright petty:
-Overall, the idea is to make all the deaths seem like accidents so the town will shut down the mall because it's... Accident prone? Unsafe? I dunno
-One victim swindled his grandparents out of land so they could build a mall (okay, fine, I guess)
-One was mean to the killer's grandma once when he was on a date
-One cheated a fly fishing tournament?
-One didn't like his Grandma's jam?
-One undersold his grandma's pies at a charity bake sale?
After one of the groups' friends die, they grieve for about oh *checks watch* 5 minutes? Then they chuck the body in a meat locker and go see a movie. Or go bowling. Or have a fashion show.
The killer ends up being a character that is essentially introduced like a chapter before the reveal. That's another issue in this book. There are about 5 central characters that get development, with the rest just being fodder for the body count. Even the killer is brought up abruptly as a character, the only thing we know is he makes a good beef Wellington.
This book 100% did not slay 💅
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 13, 2022
2.5 ⭐️
I liked the mystery aspect of the plot but the dialogue and characters were really difficult to get through. It is an older book but didn’t think things would be so dated; not to mention how sexist everything was. The characters are one dimensional at best and the drama the author tried to make between them was very cliché high school vibes—if they were written by an adult who forgot their own high school experience. This book just wasn’t for me. The setting was nicely done though, so there’s that at least.
I liked the mystery aspect of the plot but the dialogue and characters were really difficult to get through. It is an older book but didn’t think things would be so dated; not to mention how sexist everything was. The characters are one dimensional at best and the drama the author tried to make between them was very cliché high school vibes—if they were written by an adult who forgot their own high school experience. This book just wasn’t for me. The setting was nicely done though, so there’s that at least.
January 6, 2023
I usually don't mind vintage/cheesy YA, but this one was not well written or exciting or fun! It could have been so much more!
February 26, 2015
I have a lot to say about this book, and most of it is unkind.
My number one issue with this tale is that the baddie is super whiny and petty. I mean come on!
The baddie is really upset that the new mall was built on his grandparent's farm, after the grandfather who had Alzhiemers was duped into selling the property for a low price.
The baddie wants the mall to fail because that's the only way he can get the property back. Excuse me? How does the mall failing mean that he would get the property back? If it did fail they wouldn't just say gee sonny, here you go, you can have all this land for nothing!
Eventually the baddie starts trying to pay people back that slighted his grandparents in any way. What the frick does that have to do with anything? One person is on his hit list because when she was a kid she talked his grandmother into baking some pies for charity, and then sold them too low. OOOOOOOOK.
Let me start at the beginning. A bunch of the employees are at the mall before the grand opening. They are dressed in costumes and wrapping free gifts to be handed out at the opening. There is a camera crew from the news that comes in later to record the festivities.
The main players are Diana, Jay, Cindy and Heather. Hal, Larry, Dave and Paul and Sue.
There is some nonsense where Cindy and Diana are upset that Heather wants Cindy's brother back, whom she dumped for another guy when he was injured in a football game. He's all healed up now, and Heather wants Jay back. Diana acts like she doesn't like Jay, but you know she does, and Jay likes her back, which drives Heather crazy.
A big snowstorm blows into town, and police officers arrive saying that non of the roughly 50 workers can leave the mall unless they have chains or 4-wheel drive on their car.
There are only a few cars that meet the requirement, so Jay and Hal and Sue donate their cars to take people home who have kids or feel they must get home right away. That takes care of about 16 people, but there are still like 33 left.
Heather steps up and donates 6 of the mall's delivery vans, her father owns some of the mall or something. Eventually, all that is left behind are the main players. They will be rescued when possible.
All those left behind decide to make a good time of it. They have food and drink, heat, good company, and beds in the furniture store.
The first idiot gets it after everyone is asleep. The idiot gets up to go get a drink of beer. The idiot then goes outside for an idiotic reason, and ends up getting killed.
Jay discovers the body when he is with Diana, but refuses to let Diana see it. He tells her not to look and go get the guys. It was all very sexist.
Diana immediately thinks the idiot was murdered, when by all accounts, all she should have thought was that it was an accident.
Everybody goes on like nothing happened. One of their friends is dead in the mall with them, and they are laughing and fooling around and having a dandy time.
They all decide to head to the movie theater to watch movies. They get everything going, popcorn and all. At some point they split up because they can't agree which movie to watch.
Jay and Diana are together and so are Cindy and her boyfriend Paul. I really had to laugh my butt off at that, Cindy only met Paul less than 24 hours ago, and already they call him her boyfriend.
Anyway, idiot #2 gets killed. Everyone is convinced it was an accident other than Diana. Idiot #3 who was the biggest idiot of them all bites it, and everybody still wants to think it was an accident, but others are starting to be suspicious.
By the time idiot #4 gets it, you still have some in the group refusing to believe there is a killer.
The story really just continues on like this until somebody has a bright idea that they should have had 4 victims ago.
My number one issue with this tale is that the baddie is super whiny and petty. I mean come on!
The baddie is really upset that the new mall was built on his grandparent's farm, after the grandfather who had Alzhiemers was duped into selling the property for a low price.
The baddie wants the mall to fail because that's the only way he can get the property back. Excuse me? How does the mall failing mean that he would get the property back? If it did fail they wouldn't just say gee sonny, here you go, you can have all this land for nothing!
Eventually the baddie starts trying to pay people back that slighted his grandparents in any way. What the frick does that have to do with anything? One person is on his hit list because when she was a kid she talked his grandmother into baking some pies for charity, and then sold them too low. OOOOOOOOK.
Let me start at the beginning. A bunch of the employees are at the mall before the grand opening. They are dressed in costumes and wrapping free gifts to be handed out at the opening. There is a camera crew from the news that comes in later to record the festivities.
The main players are Diana, Jay, Cindy and Heather. Hal, Larry, Dave and Paul and Sue.
There is some nonsense where Cindy and Diana are upset that Heather wants Cindy's brother back, whom she dumped for another guy when he was injured in a football game. He's all healed up now, and Heather wants Jay back. Diana acts like she doesn't like Jay, but you know she does, and Jay likes her back, which drives Heather crazy.
A big snowstorm blows into town, and police officers arrive saying that non of the roughly 50 workers can leave the mall unless they have chains or 4-wheel drive on their car.
There are only a few cars that meet the requirement, so Jay and Hal and Sue donate their cars to take people home who have kids or feel they must get home right away. That takes care of about 16 people, but there are still like 33 left.
Heather steps up and donates 6 of the mall's delivery vans, her father owns some of the mall or something. Eventually, all that is left behind are the main players. They will be rescued when possible.
All those left behind decide to make a good time of it. They have food and drink, heat, good company, and beds in the furniture store.
The first idiot gets it after everyone is asleep. The idiot gets up to go get a drink of beer. The idiot then goes outside for an idiotic reason, and ends up getting killed.
Jay discovers the body when he is with Diana, but refuses to let Diana see it. He tells her not to look and go get the guys. It was all very sexist.
Diana immediately thinks the idiot was murdered, when by all accounts, all she should have thought was that it was an accident.
Everybody goes on like nothing happened. One of their friends is dead in the mall with them, and they are laughing and fooling around and having a dandy time.
They all decide to head to the movie theater to watch movies. They get everything going, popcorn and all. At some point they split up because they can't agree which movie to watch.
Jay and Diana are together and so are Cindy and her boyfriend Paul. I really had to laugh my butt off at that, Cindy only met Paul less than 24 hours ago, and already they call him her boyfriend.
Anyway, idiot #2 gets killed. Everyone is convinced it was an accident other than Diana. Idiot #3 who was the biggest idiot of them all bites it, and everybody still wants to think it was an accident, but others are starting to be suspicious.
By the time idiot #4 gets it, you still have some in the group refusing to believe there is a killer.
The story really just continues on like this until somebody has a bright idea that they should have had 4 victims ago.
February 24, 2021
There isn’t much to say about Slay Bells.
As a YA novel (something I should have known beforehand, but somehow missed), it’s a perfectly fine book. It hits every single cliche that this genre is known for, complete with horny twenty-something year olds, malls, killer Santas, and lots of dumb choices. You know, prime reading material for 13-18 year olds.
So for that, yeah, it’s perfectly fine. I didn’t hate this book by any means and I am glad I finally got my hands on it, but overall, it’s a pretty tame and mildly fulfilling novel for an age group I haven’t been part of for 15 years.
As a YA novel (something I should have known beforehand, but somehow missed), it’s a perfectly fine book. It hits every single cliche that this genre is known for, complete with horny twenty-something year olds, malls, killer Santas, and lots of dumb choices. You know, prime reading material for 13-18 year olds.
So for that, yeah, it’s perfectly fine. I didn’t hate this book by any means and I am glad I finally got my hands on it, but overall, it’s a pretty tame and mildly fulfilling novel for an age group I haven’t been part of for 15 years.
August 29, 2022
I really enjoyed this book, kids get left a note in a Christmas gift, the lyrics to Santa Claus is coming to town, meanwhile they are all snowed in, there's a killer on the loose and he's dressed as Santa! Perfect teen festive horror read. Some of the murders made me laugh out loud. The Christmas setting, deserted mall and hilarious deaths made this a win for me. Loved it.
March 9, 2018
A great little slasher novel, although like with others it suffers from being a teenage fiction book so is very light on graphic kills but the setting is fantastic and I could easily see this being made into a flick.
July 26, 2020
Ahhh...there's nothing like a few murders to relieve stress around the holidays! A bunch of mall employees get snowed in and start dying in peculiar accidents. Reads like a cheesy 80s horror movie, and I was okay with that.
not-interested
July 4, 2021This is available in the omnibus Twisted.
December 19, 2023
This is exactly what you think it is. A '90s whodunnit slasher novel set inside of a mall during Christmas. This book delivers all the goods- there's crushes, vengeful exes, drama, snow storms and isolation and of course a demented killer running around in a Santa outfit seeking revenge on those whom they believed wronged them.
I had a ton of fun with Slay Bells- in the end the killer was a bit predictable but overall I thought the main motive was solid! The perfect slasher read for this time of the year! The kills were fun for what they were, nothing outstanding- but satisfying enough.
I also think Jo Gibson did a wonderful job at making the setting- The new mega Mall that's on the outskirts of three major Minosota cities- both a fun and creepy place for our characters to be snowed in at. Most of the time setting is an afterthought, but Jo does a great job of making it vital to our characters, killer, and the overall narrative.
It's a fun read that gave me what I wanted.
I had a ton of fun with Slay Bells- in the end the killer was a bit predictable but overall I thought the main motive was solid! The perfect slasher read for this time of the year! The kills were fun for what they were, nothing outstanding- but satisfying enough.
I also think Jo Gibson did a wonderful job at making the setting- The new mega Mall that's on the outskirts of three major Minosota cities- both a fun and creepy place for our characters to be snowed in at. Most of the time setting is an afterthought, but Jo does a great job of making it vital to our characters, killer, and the overall narrative.
It's a fun read that gave me what I wanted.
December 13, 2024
I have the flu :( Like the actual flu, with fevers and everything. Which made reading this feel a bit like a weird, drawn-out dream.
Loved the concept of some college students getting trapped during a snowstorm at a mall, but one question - why would the police just be happy to strand them all there????? And why didn’t they use the snowmobiles from the start???
The writing was a bit cringe and felt like it was from the 70s but this was written in 1994 (!!). Cindy started off a strong character and then seemed totally content to change herself for a man as soon as one was interested in her.
And what was with the random neighbour guy turned pop star??? He was totally thrown in there.
Fun, though, and I liked some of the characters.
Loved the concept of some college students getting trapped during a snowstorm at a mall, but one question - why would the police just be happy to strand them all there????? And why didn’t they use the snowmobiles from the start???
The writing was a bit cringe and felt like it was from the 70s but this was written in 1994 (!!). Cindy started off a strong character and then seemed totally content to change herself for a man as soon as one was interested in her.
And what was with the random neighbour guy turned pop star??? He was totally thrown in there.
Fun, though, and I liked some of the characters.
December 29, 2023
3.5 stars - I happened to see that they were reviewing this 90s teen horror novel on the "Teen Creeps" podcast and decided to read it, subsequently half-jokingly remarking to my husband that my favorite book genre is 90s teen horror lol. Snowed in at the mall (such an iconic 90s setting), a group of teens realizes that someone in a Santa costume is sending them ominous Christmas song lyrics and picking them off one by one. The motive is pretty weak overall, but the setting is fun.
December 31, 2022
90s mall nostalgia ✔️ college kids going to bed early ✔️ a fun, weird ass motivation for revenge ✔️
A Christmas time blizzard time read that feels like you could swear was turned into a movie and when you can't find evidence that it was you'll be left knowing there is something missing in your life and that hole will never be filled. 10/10 would enjoy this annually
A Christmas time blizzard time read that feels like you could swear was turned into a movie and when you can't find evidence that it was you'll be left knowing there is something missing in your life and that hole will never be filled. 10/10 would enjoy this annually
December 26, 2021
An okay YA slasher novel about psycho Santa stalking college kids snowed in at a mall. Fun fact: the Crossroads Mall is named after a real mall in Minnesota where I used to go with my mom to get school clothes and shoes when I was in elementary school.
December 3, 2022
Very dated and quite bad but in a sort of charming way. There were a few really cringey scenes but for the rest of it, I mostly had a good time. Credulity and believability are out the window but it had enough Christmas in it to make me content.
March 18, 2017
2 stars for the entertainment value but there were tons of plot holes and illogical situations that made the story ridiculous.
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