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How to Break a Girl: Whatever doesn't break you makes you write a novel about it
Taiwanese-Canadian writer Amanda Sung's debut novel, How to Break a Girl, originated from her master's thesis, initially written as a memoir and now reimagined as fiction that follows three Asian Canadian immigrant Elizabeth, Aurora, and Lily.
Born in Korea, Hong Kong, and Taiwan, the trio's lives embody the multicultural fabric of Vancouver, where the author grew up as a 'satellite child' without parents. Each character carries part of her own life, weaving a collective narrative that's both intimate and relatable.
Think Sex and the City—if Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha were Asian Canadian immigrants navigating not just love and career, but the complexities of intergenerational baggage, cultural curveballs, and all the gendered nonsense the world throws at them. This isn't a sob story—it's the sisterhood and sass you love, with a sharper edge and a deeper heart.
At its core, this is a story of unbreakable female friendship. All aspects of each protagonist's life—family, love, and career—get shattered, rebuilt, and rebuilt again. As each heroine confronts her darkest fear, from one city to another, their transformation demonstrates a broader that even in the midst of everything, there is always room for redefinition and resilience.
Get ready for a wild ride where identity and dignity don't just survive—they steal the show!
Born in Korea, Hong Kong, and Taiwan, the trio's lives embody the multicultural fabric of Vancouver, where the author grew up as a 'satellite child' without parents. Each character carries part of her own life, weaving a collective narrative that's both intimate and relatable.
Think Sex and the City—if Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha were Asian Canadian immigrants navigating not just love and career, but the complexities of intergenerational baggage, cultural curveballs, and all the gendered nonsense the world throws at them. This isn't a sob story—it's the sisterhood and sass you love, with a sharper edge and a deeper heart.
At its core, this is a story of unbreakable female friendship. All aspects of each protagonist's life—family, love, and career—get shattered, rebuilt, and rebuilt again. As each heroine confronts her darkest fear, from one city to another, their transformation demonstrates a broader that even in the midst of everything, there is always room for redefinition and resilience.
Get ready for a wild ride where identity and dignity don't just survive—they steal the show!
241 pages, Paperback
Published September 19, 2025
11 people are currently reading
1336 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
January 20, 2026
I received a copy of this book for free from the author for promotional purposes.
What a read!
This book packs quite the punch. It tackles so many important issues (be sure to check the trigger warnings before reading) like abuse, harassment, and assault, but it was all done with care. I also liked that it centered around Asian Canadians because they are not often depicted in media.
The star of the story is the friendship between the three main characters, Lily, Elizabeth and Aurora. They were so supportive of each other and created a beautiful found family.
Lily and Michael’s situationship really hit home for me. I’ve been in a situationship before, so I could relate a lot to what Lily was feeling.
Parts of the story took place in the Bay Area and it was very evident the author lived there. I lived in the Bay Area for the majority of my life so I’m always picky with how it is portrayed. The author referenced real places like the Cinemark at Santana Row (pg. 41) which is a theater I’ve been to many times. I was also very impressed with how freeways were referenced. One character states, “Take 92 and then 280” (pg. 236). That’s exactly how you state freeway numbers in Northern California. Southern Californians will add “the” in front of the number, but in NorCal you just state the number.
The story is also very meta, with one of the characters writing the book, How to Break a Girl. It brought the story full circle.
The storyline does jump around quite a bit which is intentional (it’s used to showcase trauma recall and the back and forth nature of the East and West experience). Using headers specifying the time and character would have been helpful in making it easier to follow.
Overall, I really enjoyed this one! If you love literary fiction, then you’ll love this one.
What a read!
This book packs quite the punch. It tackles so many important issues (be sure to check the trigger warnings before reading) like abuse, harassment, and assault, but it was all done with care. I also liked that it centered around Asian Canadians because they are not often depicted in media.
The star of the story is the friendship between the three main characters, Lily, Elizabeth and Aurora. They were so supportive of each other and created a beautiful found family.
Lily and Michael’s situationship really hit home for me. I’ve been in a situationship before, so I could relate a lot to what Lily was feeling.
Parts of the story took place in the Bay Area and it was very evident the author lived there. I lived in the Bay Area for the majority of my life so I’m always picky with how it is portrayed. The author referenced real places like the Cinemark at Santana Row (pg. 41) which is a theater I’ve been to many times. I was also very impressed with how freeways were referenced. One character states, “Take 92 and then 280” (pg. 236). That’s exactly how you state freeway numbers in Northern California. Southern Californians will add “the” in front of the number, but in NorCal you just state the number.
The story is also very meta, with one of the characters writing the book, How to Break a Girl. It brought the story full circle.
The storyline does jump around quite a bit which is intentional (it’s used to showcase trauma recall and the back and forth nature of the East and West experience). Using headers specifying the time and character would have been helpful in making it easier to follow.
Overall, I really enjoyed this one! If you love literary fiction, then you’ll love this one.
January 28, 2026
Women have a tougher road to walk than men but women of color walk an even harder one. But like all women regardless of race, color or creed, we seek meaningful friendship, connection and love. This book explores these themes in such a poignant and powerful way. I enjoyed reading every page.
Elizabeth, Aurora, and Lily, three Asian women from Korea, Hong Kong, and Taiwan, living in Canada, have forged an unbreakable friendship. They are young women setting out to find their place in the world (so there is a coming-of-age element to the story) and striving to find love - a messy business it would seem in this book. All three are strong resilient women who learn (sometimes) from their mistakes but who value their independence but their sisterhood too. When push comes to shove, they are there for each other. I really loved their friendship.
The book explores cultural differences between the East and West. The settings in Hong Kong, Taiwan, the US and Canada are juxtaposed to pull out these contrasts. So you see these women acting at times differently in one versus the other and come to realize that women of different cultures are walking an even harder road. I think this is one of the best strengths of the book.
The men in the book are pretty shameful - so self absorbed and willing to pluck food off the tree and never thank or if they do thank they are lying when they do. Thankfully a few have staying power and by the end of the book all three women have found what love should look like to them. The betrayals Elizabeth, Aurora and Lily experience from the men in this book made me so sad.
This is a beautifully written book. I was blown away by the descriptive elements - when I read I’m not very visual but Sung’s descriptions popped for me (like snow making her head a cemetery). There are heavy elements in the book but these are handled with finesse and honesty. This book has a universality in its themes - it’s been described as akin to Sex and the City and I would agree to that. But I think this book is much better.
I want to thank the author, Amanda Sung, for sharing a copy of her book with me.
I highly recommend this book.
Elizabeth, Aurora, and Lily, three Asian women from Korea, Hong Kong, and Taiwan, living in Canada, have forged an unbreakable friendship. They are young women setting out to find their place in the world (so there is a coming-of-age element to the story) and striving to find love - a messy business it would seem in this book. All three are strong resilient women who learn (sometimes) from their mistakes but who value their independence but their sisterhood too. When push comes to shove, they are there for each other. I really loved their friendship.
The book explores cultural differences between the East and West. The settings in Hong Kong, Taiwan, the US and Canada are juxtaposed to pull out these contrasts. So you see these women acting at times differently in one versus the other and come to realize that women of different cultures are walking an even harder road. I think this is one of the best strengths of the book.
The men in the book are pretty shameful - so self absorbed and willing to pluck food off the tree and never thank or if they do thank they are lying when they do. Thankfully a few have staying power and by the end of the book all three women have found what love should look like to them. The betrayals Elizabeth, Aurora and Lily experience from the men in this book made me so sad.
This is a beautifully written book. I was blown away by the descriptive elements - when I read I’m not very visual but Sung’s descriptions popped for me (like snow making her head a cemetery). There are heavy elements in the book but these are handled with finesse and honesty. This book has a universality in its themes - it’s been described as akin to Sex and the City and I would agree to that. But I think this book is much better.
I want to thank the author, Amanda Sung, for sharing a copy of her book with me.
I highly recommend this book.
February 3, 2026
This one is an emotional journey about womanhood, female friendships, migration, relationships, family, culture, and abuse. You may find yourself disliking most of the male characters. Hunter was probably the only male character I could stand. But also a shout out to David’s no-nonsense mother, Mrs. Chou, who had a beautiful scene with Lily I really loved that made her a minor stand out character for me ✨
In the book you follow Elizabeth, Lily, and Aurora through their many life obstacles as they navigate adulthood. The timeline is disjointed and you find yourself weaving between the past, present, and future in a way that may seem jarring when the transitions happen between one timeline to the next, but I think it intentionally evokes a sense of not belonging to any specific moment in time— since all the memories/moments carry equal importance in shaping all the women into who they are.
I think I found myself drawn to Elizabeth’s story the most as she went through a very messy divorce, but I also loved Lily’s passion and self awareness. Aurora also had her moments where I felt deeply empathetic towards her past traumas. There’s beautiful passages about cultural belonging and immigration, as the characters navigate life between Canada, Asia, and the U.S. The topics of belonging and feeling like both a native and an outsider in your own homeland, are very relevant to today’s political climate.
Overall, I thought this was very thought-provoking & well-written book, and I especially loved how the ending mirrors the beginning.
In the book you follow Elizabeth, Lily, and Aurora through their many life obstacles as they navigate adulthood. The timeline is disjointed and you find yourself weaving between the past, present, and future in a way that may seem jarring when the transitions happen between one timeline to the next, but I think it intentionally evokes a sense of not belonging to any specific moment in time— since all the memories/moments carry equal importance in shaping all the women into who they are.
I think I found myself drawn to Elizabeth’s story the most as she went through a very messy divorce, but I also loved Lily’s passion and self awareness. Aurora also had her moments where I felt deeply empathetic towards her past traumas. There’s beautiful passages about cultural belonging and immigration, as the characters navigate life between Canada, Asia, and the U.S. The topics of belonging and feeling like both a native and an outsider in your own homeland, are very relevant to today’s political climate.
Overall, I thought this was very thought-provoking & well-written book, and I especially loved how the ending mirrors the beginning.
February 11, 2026
How to Break a Girl is a beautifully written work of literary, memoir-inspired fiction. The story follows three friends and their individual journeys, highlighting the ripple effects of trauma, life’s choices, and the complexities of womanhood. The author explores heavy themes with care and nuance, and I found the writing both tasteful and emotionally impactful.
I especially commend the author for her bravery in weaving in elements of lived experience. There is a raw honesty to this story that feels intimate, powerful, and deeply human.
At times, the writing style made it a bit challenging for me to follow the timeline of events, but I also appreciated how the structure reflected the messy, nonlinear nature of the characters’ lives and healing.
Overall, I really appreciated the themes of womanhood, friendship, and the importance of supporting one another, all while thoughtfully exploring deeper topics like trauma, race, immigration, and life’s complicated choices. This story was emotional, and it genuinely helped deepen my empathy for others’ lived experiences.
Thank you to the author for sending me a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
I especially commend the author for her bravery in weaving in elements of lived experience. There is a raw honesty to this story that feels intimate, powerful, and deeply human.
At times, the writing style made it a bit challenging for me to follow the timeline of events, but I also appreciated how the structure reflected the messy, nonlinear nature of the characters’ lives and healing.
Overall, I really appreciated the themes of womanhood, friendship, and the importance of supporting one another, all while thoughtfully exploring deeper topics like trauma, race, immigration, and life’s complicated choices. This story was emotional, and it genuinely helped deepen my empathy for others’ lived experiences.
Thank you to the author for sending me a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
January 29, 2026
First book I dnf in a very long time. Couldn’t get through it no matter how many times I tried. Not because of subject matter, purely writing style.
January 15, 2026
How To Break A Girl
Author : Amanda Sung
Goodness gracious, I don't know if I can refer to these three women as damsels in distress or that they have just bad taste in men, but the whole vibe is giving me Sex and the City series.
Holy cow! Never have I felt so miserably destroyed by a book. I was aware of the trigger warnings, yet, the fact that the situations & experiences Elizabeth, Aurora & Lily had undergone were all comparable to hell, I could completely relate & empathize that I somehow just wanted to dive into the book itself & hug all three of them.
The intergenerational toxic culture & traditions, the challenging beaurocracy of being an immigrant, the racism, the academic expectations to be always the top in class at all subjects, the family chaos, as well as the sexism & expected role of a woman in a relationship, or at home as a wife, or at work in society.
Everything was like a reflection of my life literally screaming to the world, this is the raw, unfiltered, toxic life of being an Asian daughter.
I sobbed, I was pissed off, I laughed till my sides hurt - it was a chaotic rollercoaster ride. I could feel the strong emotions pouring out from every character in the story. Their love relationships, career, ultimately their whole lives were in complete disarray - and yet, their strong sisterhood bond was intensely unbreakable & it helped them stay grounded & sane to survive a cruel world.
Lastly tbh, I am goddamn thankful my husband is not like the red-flagged "boys" (cause they don't deserve to be called men) mentioned in the story. It just made me realize more how strong in reality empowered women are.
Thank you again Miss Sung for the complimentary copy! 🥹🫶
5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
P.S. Follow me for more book reviews on:
❥ Instagram @bookwormdenz
❥ Threads @denz.kaye
❥ Meta @bookworm.denz
❥ Goodreads @bookwormdenz
Author : Amanda Sung
Goodness gracious, I don't know if I can refer to these three women as damsels in distress or that they have just bad taste in men, but the whole vibe is giving me Sex and the City series.
Holy cow! Never have I felt so miserably destroyed by a book. I was aware of the trigger warnings, yet, the fact that the situations & experiences Elizabeth, Aurora & Lily had undergone were all comparable to hell, I could completely relate & empathize that I somehow just wanted to dive into the book itself & hug all three of them.
The intergenerational toxic culture & traditions, the challenging beaurocracy of being an immigrant, the racism, the academic expectations to be always the top in class at all subjects, the family chaos, as well as the sexism & expected role of a woman in a relationship, or at home as a wife, or at work in society.
Everything was like a reflection of my life literally screaming to the world, this is the raw, unfiltered, toxic life of being an Asian daughter.
I sobbed, I was pissed off, I laughed till my sides hurt - it was a chaotic rollercoaster ride. I could feel the strong emotions pouring out from every character in the story. Their love relationships, career, ultimately their whole lives were in complete disarray - and yet, their strong sisterhood bond was intensely unbreakable & it helped them stay grounded & sane to survive a cruel world.
Lastly tbh, I am goddamn thankful my husband is not like the red-flagged "boys" (cause they don't deserve to be called men) mentioned in the story. It just made me realize more how strong in reality empowered women are.
Thank you again Miss Sung for the complimentary copy! 🥹🫶
5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
P.S. Follow me for more book reviews on:
❥ Instagram @bookwormdenz
❥ Threads @denz.kaye
❥ Meta @bookworm.denz
❥ Goodreads @bookwormdenz
February 14, 2026
A 4.25 for me!
Being a British born Chinese girl to immigrant parents, there were so many familiar themes in this book that felt more than relatable.
I could see some of myself in Elizabeth. Similar experiences, similar life complexities, and seeing her resilience makes me feel like I did just the same but I can absolutely do better.
It was more immersive than I expected. The references to typical Asian and Chinese households, and all the mentions of Hong Kong especially, places I’ve been to before, made it even more personal. I haven’t visited Canada just yet, although it definitely makes me want to.
I could smell the food, I could almost taste it. Peking duck, Wonton noodles, Xiao Long Bao (the soup 😍), oyster omelette, pineapple bun. To be able to smell and taste a book made the experience even better for me. What an experience.
There’s trauma, relationship troubles, divorce, discrimination, being boxed into stereotypes, everything you could imagine these girls may have had to go through. And that hits the nail on the head. It really can feel like that. I don’t know how Amanda Sung does this, but I felt it. It makes you wonder how much of this was her life, given it started off as her thesis/memoir, then developed into this novel.
We absolutely need more books like this. Being able to support a South East Asian female author, I’m SO for it. Thank you to Amanda for a beautiful book. Your hard work has definitely paid off. Waiting for your next one 😍
Being a British born Chinese girl to immigrant parents, there were so many familiar themes in this book that felt more than relatable.
I could see some of myself in Elizabeth. Similar experiences, similar life complexities, and seeing her resilience makes me feel like I did just the same but I can absolutely do better.
It was more immersive than I expected. The references to typical Asian and Chinese households, and all the mentions of Hong Kong especially, places I’ve been to before, made it even more personal. I haven’t visited Canada just yet, although it definitely makes me want to.
I could smell the food, I could almost taste it. Peking duck, Wonton noodles, Xiao Long Bao (the soup 😍), oyster omelette, pineapple bun. To be able to smell and taste a book made the experience even better for me. What an experience.
There’s trauma, relationship troubles, divorce, discrimination, being boxed into stereotypes, everything you could imagine these girls may have had to go through. And that hits the nail on the head. It really can feel like that. I don’t know how Amanda Sung does this, but I felt it. It makes you wonder how much of this was her life, given it started off as her thesis/memoir, then developed into this novel.
We absolutely need more books like this. Being able to support a South East Asian female author, I’m SO for it. Thank you to Amanda for a beautiful book. Your hard work has definitely paid off. Waiting for your next one 😍
September 30, 2025
Three words that describe How to Break a Girl and its author: Bold. Vulnerable. Promising.
The story follows three women—Elizabeth, Lily, and Aurora—navigating adulthood while carrying the weight of family trauma, cultural expectations, and their own private heartbreaks. What really stood out was how real and complex these characters felt. Each woman had her own distinct voice and backstory, and yet their friendship was the glue that held everything together. Their conversations—sometimes sharp, sometimes tender—were some of the most authentic dialogue within a fictional story.
Sung’s writing style is poetic in nature but grounded, rich in emotion without ever feeling overdone. One example that stood out was a scene where Lily described her reaction to her father's betrayal:
“The mismatched laces (one navy, one black) mirrored her tangled emotions – anger at her father’s betrayal, pity for her floor-bound mother, and a bitter new resentment taking root like invasive blackberry vines through cracked concrete.”
That kind of writing is just... stunning!
This book is more than just a story about female friendship—it’s about surviving trauma, reclaiming your voice, and learning how to love (yourself and others) despite everything. The dialogue is sharp and witty, the cultural references are spot-on, and the emotions feel deeply lived in.
If you’re someone who values character-driven stories with emotional depth and a strong sense of place (from Vancouver to Taipei to California), you’ll find a lot to love here. This debut novel is raw, emotional, and very well-written—one of those rare reads that stays with you long after you’ve turned the final page. I look forward to the author’s next book.
The story follows three women—Elizabeth, Lily, and Aurora—navigating adulthood while carrying the weight of family trauma, cultural expectations, and their own private heartbreaks. What really stood out was how real and complex these characters felt. Each woman had her own distinct voice and backstory, and yet their friendship was the glue that held everything together. Their conversations—sometimes sharp, sometimes tender—were some of the most authentic dialogue within a fictional story.
Sung’s writing style is poetic in nature but grounded, rich in emotion without ever feeling overdone. One example that stood out was a scene where Lily described her reaction to her father's betrayal:
“The mismatched laces (one navy, one black) mirrored her tangled emotions – anger at her father’s betrayal, pity for her floor-bound mother, and a bitter new resentment taking root like invasive blackberry vines through cracked concrete.”
That kind of writing is just... stunning!
This book is more than just a story about female friendship—it’s about surviving trauma, reclaiming your voice, and learning how to love (yourself and others) despite everything. The dialogue is sharp and witty, the cultural references are spot-on, and the emotions feel deeply lived in.
If you’re someone who values character-driven stories with emotional depth and a strong sense of place (from Vancouver to Taipei to California), you’ll find a lot to love here. This debut novel is raw, emotional, and very well-written—one of those rare reads that stays with you long after you’ve turned the final page. I look forward to the author’s next book.
January 15, 2026
I really loved How to Break a Girl by Amanda Sung. It’s written very beautifully - in an almost poetic way.
What stood out to me most was the complexity of the issues the three Asian women navigate. The story spans trauma, culture, gender, identity, and love. Nothing is simplified or neatly resolved, and each protagonist has so much depth. They feel fully human.
I also deeply appreciated that this book is set in Canada, specifically Vancouver, and centres Asian women who live here. There are so many Asians in this city, yet I’ve rarely come across fiction that reflects this population and these lived experiences. Seeing Vancouver as the backdrop — familiar streets, familiar tensions — made the story feel even more intimate and meaningful.
What stood out to me most was the complexity of the issues the three Asian women navigate. The story spans trauma, culture, gender, identity, and love. Nothing is simplified or neatly resolved, and each protagonist has so much depth. They feel fully human.
I also deeply appreciated that this book is set in Canada, specifically Vancouver, and centres Asian women who live here. There are so many Asians in this city, yet I’ve rarely come across fiction that reflects this population and these lived experiences. Seeing Vancouver as the backdrop — familiar streets, familiar tensions — made the story feel even more intimate and meaningful.
February 8, 2026
Coming from a visual arts background, I felt deeply connected to the way the women’s journeys unfolded in How to Break a Girl. Each chapter pulled me in emotionally, leaving me eager to follow the characters wherever they went next. I constantly found myself visualizing the scenes as if they were already playing out on screen—imagining the visuals, the pacing, the atmosphere. The story feels incredibly cinematic, and I genuinely believe it would translate beautifully into a television series or film.
Leo
Leo
February 4, 2026
amazing friendship story
What a fresh take on friendship, immigration, racism and complicated human relationships. Beautifully written and unexpected, this is one of my favourite books so far this year.
What a fresh take on friendship, immigration, racism and complicated human relationships. Beautifully written and unexpected, this is one of my favourite books so far this year.
October 3, 2025
Great slice of life with sincere and raw story of how your chosen sisterhood can get you through all kinds of challenges.
Depiction of cities and places are also a great bonus because it will most likely to take you on a pleasant walk down the memory lane.
Depiction of cities and places are also a great bonus because it will most likely to take you on a pleasant walk down the memory lane.
January 8, 2026
This book drew me in from the very first lines with its sharp, intimate, and emotional writing, offering an unfiltered look into the lives of three Asian Canadian immigrant women as they navigate girlhood, family wounds, identity, and friendship. Originally a memoir turned into fiction, it carries a natural authenticity as it shows how their upbringing shapes their self‑worth, boundaries, relationships, and coping habits. Through messy choices, complicated love, and the added weight of being immigrant daughters, the story highlights how pressure can break you open but also how friendship can ground you. It’s a quick read that leaves an impact, with an ending that stays with you. Highly recommend if you enjoy honest, slightly chaotic, raw stories about girlhood and friendship.
Full review here: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/15Te...
Full review here: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/15Te...
January 19, 2026
*How to Break a Girl* by Amanda Sung is a moving and beautifully written novel about identity, pressure, and growing into yourself. Sung captures the emotional realities of adolescence with clarity and care, especially the push and pull between family expectations, cultural identity, and personal well-being.
The story shines in its quiet moments, where small experiences carry real emotional weight. Sung’s writing is thoughtful and compassionate, making the protagonist’s journey feel relatable and heartfelt. While the book doesn’t shy away from difficult themes, it ultimately feels hopeful and affirming.
This is a meaningful, engaging read that leaves a lasting impression and will resonate with anyone navigating self-discovery and resilience.
Waiting for the movie adaptation of this book. Great job Amanda Sung
The story shines in its quiet moments, where small experiences carry real emotional weight. Sung’s writing is thoughtful and compassionate, making the protagonist’s journey feel relatable and heartfelt. While the book doesn’t shy away from difficult themes, it ultimately feels hopeful and affirming.
This is a meaningful, engaging read that leaves a lasting impression and will resonate with anyone navigating self-discovery and resilience.
Waiting for the movie adaptation of this book. Great job Amanda Sung
October 22, 2025
5⭐️
An emotionally poignant story that follows three Asian Canadian friends Aurora, Elizabeth, and Lily as they face the challenges of adulthood while navigating things such as cultural expectations, trauma, love and heartbreak, and their bonds with each other . It’s messy and it’s heartbreaking but it’s also a beautiful story of resilience and the power of friendship.
The characters and the locations/scenery just draw you in and are so well written I could imagine being there with them.
An emotionally poignant story that follows three Asian Canadian friends Aurora, Elizabeth, and Lily as they face the challenges of adulthood while navigating things such as cultural expectations, trauma, love and heartbreak, and their bonds with each other . It’s messy and it’s heartbreaking but it’s also a beautiful story of resilience and the power of friendship.
The characters and the locations/scenery just draw you in and are so well written I could imagine being there with them.
February 1, 2026
This is an amazing story of vulnerability and friendship. The authors conveys multiple emotions at once and I can’t wait for this to be converted into a series. Growing up as an Asian immigrant (or first generation) not an easy task
January 20, 2026
How to break a girl is a brilliant, poignant telling of the lives of 3 best friends as they experience love, heartbreak and life. This book is a beautifully written homage to the bonds of friendship that ground us as we experience the difficulties of love and heartbreak. Navigating love and heartbreak along with the complexities of handling parental "love" and cultural expectation and breaking free of childhood pain, is beautifully, almost tenderly, captured by the author.
I really enjoyed the way the book was laid out; tying together the various experiences of each of the characters' lives across time. Even as the three women battle with the expectations of the world around them, they are also battling their own inner demons and traumas. This isn't just a story about the love and lives of three friends, it is a telling of the resilience and lived experience of many women.
I really enjoyed the way the book was laid out; tying together the various experiences of each of the characters' lives across time. Even as the three women battle with the expectations of the world around them, they are also battling their own inner demons and traumas. This isn't just a story about the love and lives of three friends, it is a telling of the resilience and lived experience of many women.
November 4, 2025
Amanda Sung and her unbeatable, kaleidoscopic trio direct their readers into a visual and intimate journey—a book deserving of being taken out of the paper and into a screen.
A breath of fresh air from austere writing—How to Break a Girl offers the sometimes-forgotten masterful detailing that amplifies a poignant story.
In this relatable tale, Sung speaks to us about her profound comprehension of women’s empathetic perspectives in their relationships, letting us all know how understood we are across borders, languages, and ethnicities.
Through Sung’s vivid, unmatched and poignant analogies—and her ingeniously concrete imagery— she proposes her work as a conversation with the readers on how women around the globe, regardless of culture or social status, endure the exact same traumatizing cycles of losing confidence in oneself, lacking trust, and believing that we are uncapable of moving on without a steady relationship awaiting.
How to Break a Girl brings a light to how women regardless of the stage of their life allow themselves to justify their partners and bend over backwards to have a deeper understanding of what sometimes is blatantly superficial—an unreserved observation of behaviors that silently shrink us until we are bare.
The women in this book endure abandonment, abuse, misogyny, and racism and they leave us with lessons about being able to stand on our own two feet first before depositing all our hopes and aspirations on someone else’s bank accounts or selfish decisions.
Sung explicitly and even humorously warns about seeking stability in relationships before knowing our own worth, further elaborating on how doing that distorts the perspective we have of ourselves—the result of which may be turning our purpose to be solely to serve someone. This author reminds us to give value to loving someone simply, unreservedly without forgetting we deserve it, too.
Breaking a girl, according to Sung, is not only about love: she also offers a view of the struggles women go through in male-dominated fields and how this makes it a challenge for a woman to separate her private life from her professional one in the sake of peace of mind.
As a novel starring Asian American women, this work does not fail to critique modern representation and inclusion of people of color and immigration while it explores the damaging views of minorities in history and how we carry so many of them today.
Whereas, historically, women have been victims of so many different kinds of abuse and of being diminished to objects and accessories, Sung does not let us forget that we must be held accountable for our own choices and we, too, are authors of our stories, and more importantly, of our own endings.
A breath of fresh air from austere writing—How to Break a Girl offers the sometimes-forgotten masterful detailing that amplifies a poignant story.
In this relatable tale, Sung speaks to us about her profound comprehension of women’s empathetic perspectives in their relationships, letting us all know how understood we are across borders, languages, and ethnicities.
Through Sung’s vivid, unmatched and poignant analogies—and her ingeniously concrete imagery— she proposes her work as a conversation with the readers on how women around the globe, regardless of culture or social status, endure the exact same traumatizing cycles of losing confidence in oneself, lacking trust, and believing that we are uncapable of moving on without a steady relationship awaiting.
How to Break a Girl brings a light to how women regardless of the stage of their life allow themselves to justify their partners and bend over backwards to have a deeper understanding of what sometimes is blatantly superficial—an unreserved observation of behaviors that silently shrink us until we are bare.
The women in this book endure abandonment, abuse, misogyny, and racism and they leave us with lessons about being able to stand on our own two feet first before depositing all our hopes and aspirations on someone else’s bank accounts or selfish decisions.
Sung explicitly and even humorously warns about seeking stability in relationships before knowing our own worth, further elaborating on how doing that distorts the perspective we have of ourselves—the result of which may be turning our purpose to be solely to serve someone. This author reminds us to give value to loving someone simply, unreservedly without forgetting we deserve it, too.
Breaking a girl, according to Sung, is not only about love: she also offers a view of the struggles women go through in male-dominated fields and how this makes it a challenge for a woman to separate her private life from her professional one in the sake of peace of mind.
As a novel starring Asian American women, this work does not fail to critique modern representation and inclusion of people of color and immigration while it explores the damaging views of minorities in history and how we carry so many of them today.
Whereas, historically, women have been victims of so many different kinds of abuse and of being diminished to objects and accessories, Sung does not let us forget that we must be held accountable for our own choices and we, too, are authors of our stories, and more importantly, of our own endings.
October 16, 2025
How to Break a Girl is a story of three Asian Canadian women whose lives are deeply intertwined by friendship, heartbreak, and resilience.
It begins with Lily, graduating from UBC in Vancouver. Thoughtful and academic, her voice frames the story at the beginning and the end, giving it a somewhat meta quality. Aurora (my favorite character) is the career-focused one, facing workplace challenges that many women know but rarely speak of. Elizabeth is the most bold and controversial, enduring a painful divorce and making choices that force you to question what survival really looks like, including her turn to seeking arrangements. Their journeys move across familiar migration routes—Vancouver, Banff, San Francisco, and Las Vegas—mirroring the paths of so many young women searching for freedom and belonging in their twenties and thirties.
What makes this book unlike any other is how it captures what I can only describe as a quiet struggle. For Asian girls who grew up in traditional families, whether as satellite children or first or second generation in North America, that silence around trauma is all too familiar. This novel doesn’t just show what happens, it pulls you into the inner world of these women and how they process love, loss, patriarchy, and cultural expectations.
It is not a fairytale story with a traditional story arc. While there is some closure, there is only some. Instead, it reflects the reality of life’s highs and lows, the importance of friendships, and the men and families that shape the way these women see the world. Even the intimacy is written with care. The sex scenes are delicate and tastefully crafted, letting readers feel the vulnerability and emotion of those moments rather than turning them into spectacle.
Amanda Sung’s writing is textured and alive. Her words are not just read, they are experienced. Thoughtful and creative, her style captures both the pain and resilience of her characters. This book is powerful, heartfelt, and at times difficult to continue, but it also shines with inspiration and perseverance.
For me, as a Chinese Canadian woman in my thirties, I could connect with the characters, and their quiet emotions. It brought to life experiences and emotions that often stay unspoken. It gave language to the quiet struggle that so many of us women experience. This story is one of a kind.
Highly recommend giving this story a read.
A tip: give it a few chapters. You'll get into the flow of the book and it the stories become more powerful as you go on
It begins with Lily, graduating from UBC in Vancouver. Thoughtful and academic, her voice frames the story at the beginning and the end, giving it a somewhat meta quality. Aurora (my favorite character) is the career-focused one, facing workplace challenges that many women know but rarely speak of. Elizabeth is the most bold and controversial, enduring a painful divorce and making choices that force you to question what survival really looks like, including her turn to seeking arrangements. Their journeys move across familiar migration routes—Vancouver, Banff, San Francisco, and Las Vegas—mirroring the paths of so many young women searching for freedom and belonging in their twenties and thirties.
What makes this book unlike any other is how it captures what I can only describe as a quiet struggle. For Asian girls who grew up in traditional families, whether as satellite children or first or second generation in North America, that silence around trauma is all too familiar. This novel doesn’t just show what happens, it pulls you into the inner world of these women and how they process love, loss, patriarchy, and cultural expectations.
It is not a fairytale story with a traditional story arc. While there is some closure, there is only some. Instead, it reflects the reality of life’s highs and lows, the importance of friendships, and the men and families that shape the way these women see the world. Even the intimacy is written with care. The sex scenes are delicate and tastefully crafted, letting readers feel the vulnerability and emotion of those moments rather than turning them into spectacle.
Amanda Sung’s writing is textured and alive. Her words are not just read, they are experienced. Thoughtful and creative, her style captures both the pain and resilience of her characters. This book is powerful, heartfelt, and at times difficult to continue, but it also shines with inspiration and perseverance.
For me, as a Chinese Canadian woman in my thirties, I could connect with the characters, and their quiet emotions. It brought to life experiences and emotions that often stay unspoken. It gave language to the quiet struggle that so many of us women experience. This story is one of a kind.
Highly recommend giving this story a read.
A tip: give it a few chapters. You'll get into the flow of the book and it the stories become more powerful as you go on
January 9, 2026
I recently finished reading “How to Break a Girl”. To start, I have to admit I’m not a frequent reader; I tend to lose interest quickly, but this novel completely hooked me from the very first chapter. For a bit of context, I picked it up because the author herself mentioned that it has “Sex and the City” vibes. By the time I finished the book, though, I realized this story isn’t fiction at all. These are real problems, deeply human experiences, and very delicate traumas that we don’t often see or read about so honestly. The book centers on three main characters:
Elizabeth Park, the impulsive romantic.
Lily Kuo, the independent woman who wanted to be chosen.
Aurora Zhang, the masked survivor.
The novel follows them from their graduation in Vancouver into adulthood, a stage of life filled with difficult choices. Elizabeth marries quickly, swept into what seems like a fairy tale with a widower, until it isn’t. Lily carries the weight of being abandoned by her parents and repeats patterns with men who don’t value her. Aurora, who appears to be the strongest of them all, is the one hiding the deepest trauma.
What impacted me most is how fearless the author is with uncomfortable truths. She writes about marriages that turn into prisons, lovers who lie, abusive bosses, and parents who fail. This is not a picture-perfect, Instagram-style friendship. It’s the real thing, with arguments, awkward silences, but also secret money transfers, borrowed couches to cry on, and phone calls that feel like a hug to the heart.
The ending is not a typical fairy tale. In fact, it ends in the most realistic way possible, because as I mentioned earlier, this story isn’t fiction. These are real people with real problems. At some point, they stop pouring their energy into waiting for a man to save them. Instead, they realize they must save themselves: one starts over from scratch in a new city, another freezes her eggs and accepts that her family may not look traditional, and the other finally learns how to set boundaries.
If you’re looking for a light, easy read, this is not the book for you. But if you’ve ever felt broken, if you’re going through your twenties crisis, if you’ve loved someone you shouldn’t have, or if you’ve had to pretend to be strong while falling apart inside, this book is for you. It left me thinking about the people in my life who have failed me, and also those who have held me up. And it made me reflect on the times I’ve managed to hold myself together and start over, just like one of the characters.
Elizabeth Park, the impulsive romantic.
Lily Kuo, the independent woman who wanted to be chosen.
Aurora Zhang, the masked survivor.
The novel follows them from their graduation in Vancouver into adulthood, a stage of life filled with difficult choices. Elizabeth marries quickly, swept into what seems like a fairy tale with a widower, until it isn’t. Lily carries the weight of being abandoned by her parents and repeats patterns with men who don’t value her. Aurora, who appears to be the strongest of them all, is the one hiding the deepest trauma.
What impacted me most is how fearless the author is with uncomfortable truths. She writes about marriages that turn into prisons, lovers who lie, abusive bosses, and parents who fail. This is not a picture-perfect, Instagram-style friendship. It’s the real thing, with arguments, awkward silences, but also secret money transfers, borrowed couches to cry on, and phone calls that feel like a hug to the heart.
The ending is not a typical fairy tale. In fact, it ends in the most realistic way possible, because as I mentioned earlier, this story isn’t fiction. These are real people with real problems. At some point, they stop pouring their energy into waiting for a man to save them. Instead, they realize they must save themselves: one starts over from scratch in a new city, another freezes her eggs and accepts that her family may not look traditional, and the other finally learns how to set boundaries.
If you’re looking for a light, easy read, this is not the book for you. But if you’ve ever felt broken, if you’re going through your twenties crisis, if you’ve loved someone you shouldn’t have, or if you’ve had to pretend to be strong while falling apart inside, this book is for you. It left me thinking about the people in my life who have failed me, and also those who have held me up. And it made me reflect on the times I’ve managed to hold myself together and start over, just like one of the characters.
October 24, 2025
A unique, insightful book that doesn't hold any punches on the difficulties that Asian-Canadian women face. From toxic family dynamics to workplace harassment to dating difficulties, the three main characters in this book can't seem to avoid trouble with men. The three protagonists are not paragons of femininity; they have their virtues and their vices, and as the book progresses I realized that all the relationships and events and troubles that the girls go through in the novel are more a reflection on them and their character, than any of the men that come and go in their lives.
Amanda, the author, is extremely economical with her descriptions, and in the first half it is difficult to follow the narrative as all three protagonists are constantly moving around the world and meeting (and breaking up with) new people. The book hits its stride in the second half of the novel as the various threads start coming together, the themes of the novel solidify, and the depth and complexity of the protagonists comes to the forefront.
These three women feel like real people, rather than characters designed to fit a narrative or teach a moral to the reader. The story showcases the difficulties and experiences that asian immigrant women uniquely go through, in a raw and unfiltered light. It's not a cozy read, but it's insightful, meaningful, and honest, and by the end I was rooting for one character in particular to overcome her troubles. No spoilers, but I enjoyed how the story tied together at the end.
Amanda, the author, is extremely economical with her descriptions, and in the first half it is difficult to follow the narrative as all three protagonists are constantly moving around the world and meeting (and breaking up with) new people. The book hits its stride in the second half of the novel as the various threads start coming together, the themes of the novel solidify, and the depth and complexity of the protagonists comes to the forefront.
These three women feel like real people, rather than characters designed to fit a narrative or teach a moral to the reader. The story showcases the difficulties and experiences that asian immigrant women uniquely go through, in a raw and unfiltered light. It's not a cozy read, but it's insightful, meaningful, and honest, and by the end I was rooting for one character in particular to overcome her troubles. No spoilers, but I enjoyed how the story tied together at the end.
November 5, 2025
Highly, highly recommend.
I went into How to Break a Girl expecting a compelling immigrant story. After all, it’s among the top in the Immigration Literature category on Amazon. And while it did deliver on that front, what I didn't expect was how profoundly it would change the way I see people, including myself. The characters in this novel are messy, flawed, sometimes infuriating, and yet so incredibly strong. They make choices that might seem baffling or even wrong from the outside, but as their stories unfold, you begin to understand the weight of what they've carried, often alone.
Reading this felt like being given permission to extend grace, not just to these characters, but to the real people in our lives whose behaviors we're so quick to judge. How often do we encounter someone difficult, someone prickly or seemingly irrational, and immediately write them off? This book asks us to pause. To be curious first. To ask ourselves: What might this person have survived that I know nothing about? And maybe, just maybe, if we approached each other with a little more curiosity and a little less judgment, we'd realize we're all just trying to survive our own stories.
If you're looking for a book that will not only tell you a powerful story but also shift the way you move through the world, this is it. Even days after I finished the book, I still think about it. Still carrying these characters with me. Still trying to be more curious, more compassionate.
I went into How to Break a Girl expecting a compelling immigrant story. After all, it’s among the top in the Immigration Literature category on Amazon. And while it did deliver on that front, what I didn't expect was how profoundly it would change the way I see people, including myself. The characters in this novel are messy, flawed, sometimes infuriating, and yet so incredibly strong. They make choices that might seem baffling or even wrong from the outside, but as their stories unfold, you begin to understand the weight of what they've carried, often alone.
Reading this felt like being given permission to extend grace, not just to these characters, but to the real people in our lives whose behaviors we're so quick to judge. How often do we encounter someone difficult, someone prickly or seemingly irrational, and immediately write them off? This book asks us to pause. To be curious first. To ask ourselves: What might this person have survived that I know nothing about? And maybe, just maybe, if we approached each other with a little more curiosity and a little less judgment, we'd realize we're all just trying to survive our own stories.
If you're looking for a book that will not only tell you a powerful story but also shift the way you move through the world, this is it. Even days after I finished the book, I still think about it. Still carrying these characters with me. Still trying to be more curious, more compassionate.
February 11, 2026
[ 3.5/5 stars ]
From Vancouver to America to Taiwan, HOW TO BREAK A GIRL is a singular portrayal of three Asian Canadian immigrant best friends (Elizabeth, Aurora and Lily) as they embrace new beginnings while haunted by inner wounds.
As the characters struggle with belonging, displacement, generational gap and migration, there's plenty of room for messiness in the broken families and estranged relationships. Through often resentful characters, Sung shows that pain has its own language and the way past trauma can shape one. The slice-of-life narrative reads easily while Sung also examines marriage, workplace and culture with an approachable touch that resonates. I enjoyed visiting a familiar ground (Taiwan) and it is always comforting.
With sophisticated prose, while the structure allows an engaging immersion, it can also feel disjointed for those seeking for a deeper connection. On the other hand, one thing that I liked is that it is also meta, which adds uniqueness to the story.
Inspired by the author's own experiences, HOW TO BREAK A GIRL can feel too real. I though it is a relatable ride about womanhood.
[ I received a complimentary copy from the author. All opinions are my own ]
From Vancouver to America to Taiwan, HOW TO BREAK A GIRL is a singular portrayal of three Asian Canadian immigrant best friends (Elizabeth, Aurora and Lily) as they embrace new beginnings while haunted by inner wounds.
As the characters struggle with belonging, displacement, generational gap and migration, there's plenty of room for messiness in the broken families and estranged relationships. Through often resentful characters, Sung shows that pain has its own language and the way past trauma can shape one. The slice-of-life narrative reads easily while Sung also examines marriage, workplace and culture with an approachable touch that resonates. I enjoyed visiting a familiar ground (Taiwan) and it is always comforting.
With sophisticated prose, while the structure allows an engaging immersion, it can also feel disjointed for those seeking for a deeper connection. On the other hand, one thing that I liked is that it is also meta, which adds uniqueness to the story.
Inspired by the author's own experiences, HOW TO BREAK A GIRL can feel too real. I though it is a relatable ride about womanhood.
[ I received a complimentary copy from the author. All opinions are my own ]
October 16, 2025
This book feels like Asian Sex and the City meets The Joy Luck Club, in a modern day setting.
Sex scenes are so beautifully done. Tasteful. And you could experiment how the girls felt in the moment. I could relate to some scenes and yet those moments are moments I've never expressed out loud to anyone. I felt the power of the moment and connected to them deeply..
Something that is special about this book is how beautifully written the settings are and the environments, and how the descriptions are layered to subtlely match the tone of the emotion or moment for the girls. Love that I could also relate to lots of settings like UBC in Vancouver, a work trip in Banff, the wild energy of Vegas and that SF life.
Amanda Sung’s writing is just gorgeous, delicate and so perfectly descriptive. It's so textured and emotional, with this ability to pull you right into the feelings of each character.
Sex scenes are so beautifully done. Tasteful. And you could experiment how the girls felt in the moment. I could relate to some scenes and yet those moments are moments I've never expressed out loud to anyone. I felt the power of the moment and connected to them deeply..
Something that is special about this book is how beautifully written the settings are and the environments, and how the descriptions are layered to subtlely match the tone of the emotion or moment for the girls. Love that I could also relate to lots of settings like UBC in Vancouver, a work trip in Banff, the wild energy of Vegas and that SF life.
Amanda Sung’s writing is just gorgeous, delicate and so perfectly descriptive. It's so textured and emotional, with this ability to pull you right into the feelings of each character.
October 27, 2025
How to Break a Girl is a beautiful story about friendship, love, healing from past traumas, and learning to love yourself. I absolutely loved watching Lily, Aurora, and Elizabeth’s stories unfold as they grew together—even when they were thousands of miles apart. As someone with a long-distance best friend, I really connected with their longing to be together while still balancing the rest of life.
This book also offers an honest and eye-opening look at what it’s like growing up as a satellite child in a foreign country. I loved learning more about Asian cultures and appreciated the raw depiction of the expectations and pressures placed on Asian youth as they navigate life away from their parents—and the complicated emotions that come with reconnecting later.
Amanda Sung has taken the real, vulnerable pieces of her life and turned them into a touching tale of resilience, friendship, and hope for the future. Truly a heartfelt and inspiring read.
This book also offers an honest and eye-opening look at what it’s like growing up as a satellite child in a foreign country. I loved learning more about Asian cultures and appreciated the raw depiction of the expectations and pressures placed on Asian youth as they navigate life away from their parents—and the complicated emotions that come with reconnecting later.
Amanda Sung has taken the real, vulnerable pieces of her life and turned them into a touching tale of resilience, friendship, and hope for the future. Truly a heartfelt and inspiring read.
January 16, 2026
As a non-Asian who has called four continents home, I know the ache of belonging everywhere and nowhere simultaneously. Amanda Sung’s novel depicted that exact liminal space so well. It’s a moment when you're "too foreign" for your passport country and "too Western" for your ancestral one. The way the characters navigate cultural expectations while building their own identities mirrors my own heritage, upbringing, and new roots. What makes this extraordinary is how she transforms that specific diaspora pain into something beautiful and universal without reducing its complexity. Your prose has found me highlighting passages that articulated feelings I've never been able to name. I’d love every first-gen and second-gen kid to consider this book. How to Break a Girl is the diaspora handbook so many of us didn't know we were waiting for!
November 10, 2025
An absolute must read if you're looking for a powerful immigrant story with a Sex & a City type setting, This is THE book. This book is such a great read about 3 Asian-Canadian good friends who are trying to figure out on navigating life though love, healing, Staying storng & difficult past trauma's & experiences while delivering an eye-opening story on what it's like to be & live as a satellite Child.
It provides a mixed feeling reaction as you read from happiness, sad, mad, You name it. I'd highly recommend this book if you're looking for a powerful, heartfelt story.
It provides a mixed feeling reaction as you read from happiness, sad, mad, You name it. I'd highly recommend this book if you're looking for a powerful, heartfelt story.
January 5, 2026
The story chronicles the often overlooked impact of cultural happenstance for modern generations of Asian immigrants.
Each protagonist’s story arc interweaves and connects their individual experiences together through travel, love and emotional growth.
All in all, How To Break a Girl delivers a fantastic glimpse into the dynamic experiences of Asian women navigating the international sociocultural landscape.
Each protagonist’s story arc interweaves and connects their individual experiences together through travel, love and emotional growth.
All in all, How To Break a Girl delivers a fantastic glimpse into the dynamic experiences of Asian women navigating the international sociocultural landscape.
November 10, 2025
This novel intertwines the journeys of three women, each navigating their own path of growth and self-discovery. While it can take a little time to navigate the storylines at the beginning, the author’s skillful storytelling rewards your patience. A powerful exploration of identity and resilience that lingers long after the final page.
November 30, 2025
I finished this during a flight across the Pacific. Could not put it down because I was on the edge of my seat hoping for things to turn around for the three ladies. It’s one heck of a story and I was rooting for Aurora, Elizabeth and Lily all the way through all the tough times.hope for a follow up book to see that they all got the peace that they were searching for.
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