How to Talk to Yourself: From Self-Doubt to Self-Confidence

by Ro Mitchell

Unlock the power of self-talk to build confidence, believe in yourself and transform your life.

Have you ever felt not quite good enough? Or confident enough? Ever felt like you need to do more, be more, to fit in?

You’re not alone.

In this comforting and empowering book, Ro Mitchell teaches you that your thoughts are not always worth believing. Instead, through observing your inner voice and practising self talk, you can unlock happiness.

Ro explores the way in which we talk to ourselves and the power of changing your internal voice. After sharing her recovery story online, Ro discovered that her vulnerability and advice resonated with a huge number of people battling self-esteem issues with nobody to listen, to understand, or to help them in proactively making changes.

Ro provides a guiding hand to offer transformative advice, guidance and exercises to inspire you to find self-acceptance, be kinder to yourself and to approach discipline and success from a new, healthier angle.

From stopping social media comparison to unfriending your inner-critic, finding forgiveness to maintaining healthy habits, How to Talk to Yourself is a nurturing and interactive guide to taking control of your own self-belief.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Mental Health, Psychology, Audiobook

217 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 19, 2025

Reviews

[cate · Rating 5 out of 5]

i've been following ro for a while now and have witnessed her recovery journey. it's not my place to speak on it and discuss how other people should feel about it, but i do think she comes from a good place. what started off as an online diary to help keep herself accountable has morphed and grown into a way of helping and inspiring other people.

she's not putting herself on a pedestal and saying every recovery journey has to be identical to hers. hers is shaped by her circumstances, while other people's will inevitably be different. but i do think it's admirable she's aware of this and has used her platform to uplift others and bring some light into something so bleak.

you can tell how hard she worked on this book. she spoke from the heart. she was vulnerable and candid. and sometimes that's exactly what you need.

thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the arc in exchange for an honest review

[Jona · Rating 4 out of 5]

i don’t usually read self-help books (actually… this might be my first lol) but i’ve been following ro’s youtube and podcast for years and she’s helped me through some really bad times with my eating disorder. this book feels like an extension of that. it’s so honest and kind and full of little moments that hit way harder than i expected. you can tell she put her whole heart into it. felt like a friend giving me a pep talk when i needed it most. so yeah… thank you ro 💜💜

[Emily Katy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read a lot of self-help books but few have connected with me as deeply as this book. Ro’s writing is beautiful, and she shares aspects of her journey so honestly and vulnerably. This book is a beacon of hope for anybody who is battling their brain or struggling with life. I loved everything about it and I will be recommending it to others.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher and the author for an early copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I have been following Ro for many years through her TikToks and YouTube channel so when I heard she was coming out with a book I was SO intrigued. The way that she spoke about mental health in her videos always made me feel so at ease, so I was desperate to read this book. This book couldn’t have come at a better time for me. In other self-help books I have read, I never really felt as though they had much of a lasting impression on me and I tend to forget about them quickly after finishing them. How To Talk to Yourself had me engaged right from the introduction. I felt so incredibly seen throughout this book and related to so many things Ro speaks about (I have a crazy amount of annotations lol). I loved the personal anecdotes included throughout, it felt like she and I were having a DMC.
The main thing I look for in self-help books is things to change my perspective and this book truly delivered. This really opened my eyes to the fact that I can be incredibly harsh with myself and that it’s ok to feel certain emotions that I shy away from. While my mental health struggles are not the exact same as some discussed in the book, I still was able to relate to a lot what was said, and I believe so will everyone else who picks up this book. This book is genuinely such a comfort read for me, and I know I will go back to it time and time again.
I am so excited for release day so that I can get my hands on a physical copy! I highly recommend if you are looking for a self-help book that will genuinely stick with you as I know for a fact this book will have a lasting effect on me!

[Anya Quinn 🐞📖 · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Worrying that you are not ‘bad’ enough to start to be kinder to yourself is evidence itself of what’s wrong - the belief that any level of self-hatred is okay.” p.110

“That energy you gave to perfectionism without realising can be redirected for good, to learn about yourself and what you really care about.” p.231

I loved this, and not the type of book that I would usually try. But I have watched many of Ro Mitchell’s videos and found her outlook really beautiful, especially after everything she has been through. I really liked the questionnaires included to make me apply the new perspectives to my own thinking, a helpful format with not too much pressure. It was relatable and tough at times, but I really enjoyed it.

[Aisha Chabdu · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m not usually a nonfiction reader, but Ro’s story was really inspiring. She’s come such a long way, and the activities and prompts in the book were surprisingly helpful in shifting my own mindset too.

[Leah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I usually avoid self-help books like the plague but listening to this was a surprisingly lovely experience! While it didn't really tell me anything groundbreaking it was still a nice (and probably needed) reminder regardless. And it certainly wasn't as condescending as a lot of self-help books tend to be but rather very empathetic and genuine!

[mads · Rating 5 out of 5]

this is the book i needed to read while im sat in hospital feeling hopeless. i've been following ro online for a while so i knew this book would be good but i didn't think it would resonate and be so genuinely eye-opening. all i can say is thank you to ro for writing this, and i urge everyone ever to read it

[El Maslin]

Reading this book felt like a warm hug from Ro & her compassion oozes out of the pages. I underlined so many quotes as I relate so much & experience similar mental struggles.
• “The hardest moments often result in the greatest growth”
• “You have an instinctive, deep knowing of what is right for you”
• “I am a friend I will never lose”

[Fleur Mazrei-Farahani · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's such an incredible book. I love self development books that feel like a warm hug, and this book was exactly that for me. I felt that with each page I was reading, I was coming back home to myself <3

[Madison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ro helped me during my recovery journey almost two years ago now, and so did her podcast with Jaycie. When I found out she was writing a book I knew I had to pre-order it. She did not disappoint. This book has taught me not to listen to my inner critic, and to not be hyperaware of what everyone is thinking of me 24/7. To live like this is to live in anxiety and that’s not a life worth living. I am so happy Ro created this and I hope it helps many more sensitive souls just like me.

[Eline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where has this book been my entire life

[Lily · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a good audio book of good reminders when I’m hard on myself and my body heading into the holiday season. Definitely recommend.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was everything I wanted it to be. Vulnerable, compassionate, helpful and soothing. It brought issues to the service in such a special and respectful manner! Loved the guidance and help that was given in this book, definitely one of my favourite self help books! :)

[Wren · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book feels like a hug <3 thank you Ro! I can feel kindness glowing from every page xx

[Apollos Michio · Rating 4 out of 5]

Was browsing at Kinokuniya when I came across this book, How to Talk to Yourself by Ro Mitchell (@romitchell), and it immediately brought to my mind a friend of whom I think would benefit from it! 🗣️

In the book, Mitchell candidly shares about her experience with self-hatred, appearance anxiety, body dysmorphia, and anorexia, fuelled by unpleasant past experiences, impossible beauty standards, and social media. 🤳

She then proffers practical tips to overcome negative self-talk and shame, to aid those who are embarking on a journey of self-acceptance, positive self-talk, and ultimately, self-confidence. 🧘

Throughout the book, Mitchell retains a reassuring and conversational tone that makes it feel like you are listening to a patient friend comforting you. Though not every chapter of the book might be relevant to all readers, Mitchell recognises this and urges readers to heal at their own pace, and read the chapters according to what they need. ⏳

As someone who was once very critical of myself, reading this book makes me glad that I have made strides in how I speak to myself. Instead of berating myself in how I act socially, or over-questioning myself about my choices, the current me is more self-assured and compassionate to myself, which I believe have made me more confident as a person. If you’re struggling with self-doubt or a lack of confidence, I think this would a useful read! 🙂

[Helene:) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ro is someone who’s journey I have been following almost since the start, since mid 2021, and she is someone I looked up to and related to during my own eating disorder recovery.

Reading her book, many of the things she wrote about were something I had also experienced. I think especially in the first third of the book, the self-talk is kind of limited to your appearance, but if you are a person who struggles a lot with that specifically it could also be perfect.

Ro writes in a compassionate way, as if she were a friend, and what I really liked is that

1. she never belittled any feelings
2. she never presented herself as some kind of therapist - she said „hello, those are things that have helped me and maybe they can help you too - if you want to, try that!“
3. she put in practical steps to implement her tips
and, probably most importantly:
4. she always made sure that the reader knew the change had to come from within them - nothing is going to change if you don’t want it to.

Even if I personally for the most part couldn’t really implement things, since the issues addressed were things I have already worked through in therapy (shoutout to my amazing therapist), I still think this book is an amazing step-by-step guide for people that feel at rock bottom or at the start of their journey towards a more fulfilling and kind life.

And even though I mainly bought the book to support Ro, it was still a super enjoyable read!! It made me think about my own progress and question some thought patterns that might have slipped again, and overall felt like a hug.

Ro, you can be so proud of how far you’ve come❤️

[Johan Ulfsparre · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read my first book in 2025 yeeeeeey. With that said, if it was me before reading this book I probably would have said something along the lines of ”wow that’s not something to be proud about”. However, after reading this book I can now actually be proud of myself for buying a book that talks about something I struggle with for a daily basis and hey! I did actually finish a book this year compared to last year where I didn’t.

After a few months of a lot of self doubt, imposter syndrome and overall a very negative mindset it was truly refreshing to read a book that broke down everything. I have marked out a few chapters that I will probably return to in the future and remind myself of how to speak more nicely to myself. I would definitely recommend this book if you feel like you have been stuck in your head and wants to break free. It was quite focused on body image, which in my case was not very helpful for me, but I can definitely see why it would be helpful for someone who struggles with that.

I do feel like the book has changed my mindset and that I have reminded myself to treat myself with grace and to take a step back and breath when it gets a bit overwhelming.

[adela · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book honestly felt like therapy. Like the author had crawled into my head, taken every confusing, painful thought I had as a teenager, and just… got it.

While reading, I kept thinking, “Wait… so it wasn’t just me?” It made me realize I was never the problem. Society is. The way it teaches us to hate our bodies, shrink our personalities, and follow impossible rules about how we should look or act,it’s exhausting. And this book called all of that out so beautifully.

It touched me in a way I wasn’t expecting. My younger self,the version of me who never had the words to explain why she felt so broken, finally felt heard. This book really made me emotional because it felt like someone had finally said what I couldn’t say back then and like someone finally understood me.

I really do recommend everyone to read this book. Especially young teenagers who struggle with self worth or not feeling enough.

[Mireia Batalla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aquest llibre ha estat molt més que una lectura: ha estat un retrobament amb mi mateixa. How to Talk to Yourself m’ha acompanyat en un viatge suau però profund cap al cor de la meva veu interior —aquella que sovint m’he oblidat d’escoltar o que massa cops ha parlat des de la duresa i el judici. Com l'autora, jo també he passat per anorèxia nerviosa i realment penso que aquesta lectura pot ser de molta ajuda per a les persones que estiguin atravessant una situació similar amb un trastorn alimentari. L’autora ens ofereix una mirada compassiva, íntima i poderosa sobre com el nostre diàleg intern modela no només la nostra autoestima, sinó també les decisions que prenem, les relacions que escollim i el lloc des d’on ens mirem a la vida. M’ha fet reflexionar sobre com parlar-me des de l’amor pot ser un acte de valentia, de sanació i d’empoderament profund.
Hi ha frases que encara em ressonen com una mà estesa en moments difícils. Aquest llibre no et promet solucions màgiques, però sí et regala eines sinceres per construir una relació més amable amb tu mateixa. I això, per mi, ja és un canvi revolucionari. Recomanaria aquest llibre a tothom que vulgui aprendre a ser el seu propi refugi. Sobretot per aquelles persones que pateixen o han patit anorèxia nerviosa.


This book has been so much more than just a read—it’s been a reunion with myself. How to Talk to Yourself has accompanied me on a gentle yet deep journey into the heart of my inner voice—the one I’ve so often forgotten to listen to, or that has too frequently spoken to me from harshness and judgment.
Like the author, I’ve also gone through anorexia nervosa, and I truly believe this book can be of great help to anyone going through a similar experience with an eating disorder.
The author offers us a compassionate, intimate, and powerful perspective on how our inner dialogue shapes not just our self-esteem, but also the decisions we make, the relationships we choose, and the lens through which we view life. It made me reflect on how speaking to myself with love can be an act of courage, healing, and deep empowerment.
There are phrases that still echo in me like a helping hand in difficult moments. This book doesn’t promise magical solutions, but it offers genuine tools to build a kinder relationship with yourself. And that, for me, is already a revolutionary change.
I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn how to become their own refuge—especially to those who suffer from or have suffered from anorexia nervosa.

[Helen Haythornthwaite · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very interesting read, and I took quite a lot away from it. I’m a lot older than Ro is and although my negative ‘self-talk’ is at its lowest point now, it was helpful to read Ro’s guidance for turning this around and treating yourself more kindly.

Ro is in her early twenties and writes about what it was like growing up in a society where there seemed to be a certain way to ‘look’ which changed with the times. Social media, TV ads, magazines, beauty products all promoted a ‘perfect’ appearance, which caused her to ‘hate’ herself as she didn’t feel she achieved it.

I think this obsession with the way we want to look, and the way we can feel about other people having better lives than ours, will be relevant to a lot of people. Even though I didn’t have social media etc..to bombard me as a youngster, I still developed those feelings and it’s taken decades of questioning myself and positive affirmation to be happier with myself and not constantly compare myself to others.

Ro appears mature beyond her years and I did, at times, feel like I was having a therapy session (I’ve never had one but this is what I think it would be like). She looks at the need to create a nurturing relationship with ourselves through self-acceptance, unlearning shame and being kind to ourselves.

She really opens her soul and talks about the feelings which were bringing her down; her struggle with anorexia; and how she managed to turn this around. She gives practical advice to anyone in the same position and there’s a section in the middle of each chapter where you are asked to write something down, or think about questions, with a view to understanding yourself more or helping you on the road to recovery.

I’d highly recommend this book to people in the 18 - 30 age group, who have an inner voice which is constantly telling them they’re not good enough, pretty enough, interesting enough, clever enough… I think it would help to read how you’re not on your own, and Ro’s advice might be able to help you turn things around. It’s not a miracle cure, there will still be good and bad days, but hopefully the good will begin to outweigh the bad.


(I was sent a copy by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.)

[charlotte · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve read (or tried to read) a couple of self-help books in the past. But this is the first that has actually been ENGAGING. I mean I chose to bring it with me on holiday to Tenerife, and I finished it in two days… I think that speaks louder than words.

I mean call me biased but I’m a 14 year old girl who has struggled with an ed and has been following Ro for over two years. So reading this and hearing her voice in my head as I read it made me feel my invisible string of connection to Ro strengthen as she truly feels like a big sister to me. But the way this self-help book was written not in just facts and a monotone tone, but with an undertone of a prose and very directive (always speaking to YOU as the reader, not just a vague entity) — made the book so much more impactful and engaging (unlike most self-help books which I don’t finish). The advice given was so adaptable to anyone and I truly think that someone of any age would benefit from reading this book. That also reveals how this book made me feel a collective sense of understanding, and that I am not the only one who struggles in these ways and that I am not alone or crazy for having a negative inner voice that I actively ‘talk to’.

My copy of this book is thoroughly underlined and dog-eared for later use and reference, because I know for a fact that I will open this book many more times to find a sense of reassurance and comfort — just as I do with Ro’s videos.

[Abbie · Rating 2 out of 5]

ok i want to be very clear that i absolutely ADORE Ro Mitchell she has been such a role model for me in my life and recovery journey and i truly owe so much to her. my low rating is not based on her, her platform, or the content in the book. the low rating comes purely from a writer's perspective. i think if Ro had a bit more editing or a skilled writer alongside her in the process, she could have formulated her ideas in a much more enjoyable and productive structure.
nonetheless, this book has so many good reminders for all of us in recovery journeys and i recommend it just for its positive voice in a world drowned in toxicity and destructive lies. Ro is one of the best defenders of true, flourishing self-love out there that i know and i am immensely grateful to her :)

[alice. · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 || short and sweet :,)
___
it is a testament to ro’s authenticity that every single line here read with such a genuine warmth. like a lot of the reviews for this book say, there really is not a hint of condescension.

it feels like if an anna laura comic was a book…how lovely! super quick 2-3h read, I’ll definitely revisit this in the future, so many parts were incredibly relevant to the point it read diaristic…what witchcraft, ro!

of course much of the information here is nothing new, but it doesn’t claim to be. this is a humble, kind book that understands exactly what it is. it feels like honey drizzled tea, quilt blankets, and a friend giving you a hug; it was exactly what I needed to hear today.

[thandi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not a bad word to say. As someone who has followed Ro’s journey from the beginning of her journey, this book was something I was looking forward to for ages and it exceeded my expectations. Not only has she taught me so much but this book has genuinely changed my perspective on life, self love and acceptance. Her words are some that will stick with me forever, she dives deep into things you may not want to think about but it’s for the best as you will learn more about yourself. This book isn’t just for those who have struggled their mental health; it’s for everyone. We all deserve to be kind to ourselves above all, that is what Ro has taught me and i’ll always be grateful.

[nedime · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has come my way at such a perfect moment. I absolutely love how Ro opens up about her own struggles and how techniques and can be applied to your own battles was so insightful. I made so many notes along the way and felt that the key messages and ways of challenging my negative and difficult thoughts linked so well with the guidance I have received from mental health practitioners recently, it really helped me to firm up my own understanding of what is going on ‘upstairs’ and take practical steps to improving myself. Thank you so much Ro, Bluebird Books and Pan MacMillan for sending me the eARC and physical copy, this is already a book I’ve recommended to family and friends and feel I’ll revisit again when I need it.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have followed this creator for a while online, and although I do not have an eating disorder, I have moral OCD, and many of the ways she would describe talking to herself and moving through the world are very similar to the ways I've talked to myself and moved through the world. In reading this book, I often found myself thinking, "Has she been inside my brain?" I found it a really great help and reminder of some of the things I've been working on in therapy, and I found it a helpful addition to my own processes of unlearning and reframing my thought patterns. I am not a self-help genre aficionado in general (rather, quite the opposite) but I vibed with this book!

[Ami · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Your perspective of yourself is the lens through which you see the world.”

I usually cringe at a self-help book, but Ro’s writing combined with her personal experiences mean that How to Talk to Yourself really doesn’t read like one. As well as encouraging you to explore your relationship with yourself, your past, your actions, and your mental health, there are also parts that can be used as journal prompts scattered throughout. If you have anxiety or any other mental illness, or are close to someone who does, I’d highly recommend this book as a way to understand your/their feelings, have more compassion for yourself/them, and to help you/them cope better.

[hayley · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 stars- i have always struggled with negative self talk and have been trying to work on being nicer to myself this year so this book came out at the right time! one of the best things i have done this year is discovering ro’s youtube videos- which provided much needed comfort for me especially when i was in the depths of my depression earlier this year so when i found out that she was coming out with a book, i knew i had to read it asap and it did not disappoint:,) thank you for making this ro and your story inspires me to continue on my healing journey!

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ro Mitchell is just so inspiring. I have been following her from the start of her YouTube watching her over come her fears as I overcame mine. I am a regular listener to her podcast The Comfort Zone and this book is like having her podcast in my hands. In this book I have learned so much and I have taken so much from it. Ro has helped me with my struggles and I will pick this book up again when I feel i need to just to reread her affirmations and to feel comforted when I’m struggling. This is a 10/10 recommendation to everyone, everyone could benefit from hearing Ro’s words.