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We Are Gathered Here Today
The Wedding People meets The Celebrants in this hilarious and profound novel about a recently engaged gay man second guessing marriage, and his cousin’s chaotic Texas wedding weekend with old friends and unexpected strangers that will help guide him to the truth, from the beloved author of The Old Place.
At 36, Finlay Hightower has attended countless incredible, cringe-worthy, and disastrous wedding celebrations with his best friends. Their secret to surviving wedding chaos? The Hour of Disrespect—a pact to reserve judgement to one hour after the couple’s Big Day, protecting the wedding glow and leaving only with the good memories.
But this next wedding will test their decade-old tradition in more ways than one. Now, one of their own is getting married—Fin’s beloved cousin, Elaine—at a Wild West-themed venue in the sweltering Texas summer heat that is as meticulously itineraried as it is kitchy. Reserving opinions won’t be easy, and on top of that Fin has a secret that threatens his officiant he’s just gotten engaged to the man of his dreams, and a sense of unease has him questioning if he believes in the institution of marriage at all.
As Fin joins the rambunctious and increasingly unhinged “queer table”, old friendships are tested and new relationships are formed. Will each guest hold back their particular views on love, commitment, and the wedding before Elaine can say “I do”? And if not, could those confessions ultimately give Fin the courage to uncover his truth?
Like any good wedding, We Are Gathered Here Today is funny, heartfelt, and full of surprises. Like any terrible wedding, it’s something you’ll never forget.
At 36, Finlay Hightower has attended countless incredible, cringe-worthy, and disastrous wedding celebrations with his best friends. Their secret to surviving wedding chaos? The Hour of Disrespect—a pact to reserve judgement to one hour after the couple’s Big Day, protecting the wedding glow and leaving only with the good memories.
But this next wedding will test their decade-old tradition in more ways than one. Now, one of their own is getting married—Fin’s beloved cousin, Elaine—at a Wild West-themed venue in the sweltering Texas summer heat that is as meticulously itineraried as it is kitchy. Reserving opinions won’t be easy, and on top of that Fin has a secret that threatens his officiant he’s just gotten engaged to the man of his dreams, and a sense of unease has him questioning if he believes in the institution of marriage at all.
As Fin joins the rambunctious and increasingly unhinged “queer table”, old friendships are tested and new relationships are formed. Will each guest hold back their particular views on love, commitment, and the wedding before Elaine can say “I do”? And if not, could those confessions ultimately give Fin the courage to uncover his truth?
Like any good wedding, We Are Gathered Here Today is funny, heartfelt, and full of surprises. Like any terrible wedding, it’s something you’ll never forget.
313 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 16, 2026
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July 8, 2026
Book Riot’s Best Books of 2026 (So Far)
While a destination wedding at a Wild West-themed venue may sound like a version of hell, Fin is determined to make the best of it and write a perfect officiant speech. Along with his friend Jacque, he quickly allies with the other queer people at the wedding. The group identifies wedding enemies, assesses each other’s relationships, and discusses the value of marriage in general. The elongated weekend of celebration makes space for everything a wedding has to offer: awkward mic moments, passive aggressive comments, and true transcendent joy. This book unravels the differences between love, weddings, and marriage with tenderness and wit.
- Julia Rittenberg
While a destination wedding at a Wild West-themed venue may sound like a version of hell, Fin is determined to make the best of it and write a perfect officiant speech. Along with his friend Jacque, he quickly allies with the other queer people at the wedding. The group identifies wedding enemies, assesses each other’s relationships, and discusses the value of marriage in general. The elongated weekend of celebration makes space for everything a wedding has to offer: awkward mic moments, passive aggressive comments, and true transcendent joy. This book unravels the differences between love, weddings, and marriage with tenderness and wit.
- Julia Rittenberg
March 31, 2026
I really wanted to like this, especially because I loved the author's previous book, Four Squares. Unfortunately, the writing and characterization were so weak that I lost interest about 2/3 of the way through, and I only finished the book out of a sense of duty. I can't recommend this! You should go read Four Squares instead.
This is supposed to be a character-driven drama about a queer group of friends reuniting for a wedding in the Hill Country. The issue is the writing perspective. Most of the book is third-person omniscient and focused on the protagonist, Fin, but the author frequently jumps over to other characters' perspectives, sometimes in the same paragraph. That means you're constantly told exactly how the characters are thinking or feeling, so there's no room for nuance or true conflict. Even worse, there are a few crucial scenes where only Fin's perspective is provided. Removing the other perspectives at these stages is obviously only done to drive drama, which I think is a cheat if you constantly switch perspectives otherwise. The writing overall feels choppy, and sometimes characters assert feelings that don't seem to match up to the actual events. The most egregious example is .
The author clearly has something to say about the nature of marriage and how it works (or doesn't) for queer relationships, but that doesn't really come through in the characterizations. The asides get shoehorned in. Basically, none of this worked for me, though I did like that this was set in the Hill Country and that there were many references to Austin landmarks and geography.
There are several references to Covid and its impact on the characters, which makes me think this book may have been written a few years ago and only recently edited for publication.
Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for sending me a copy!
This is supposed to be a character-driven drama about a queer group of friends reuniting for a wedding in the Hill Country. The issue is the writing perspective. Most of the book is third-person omniscient and focused on the protagonist, Fin, but the author frequently jumps over to other characters' perspectives, sometimes in the same paragraph. That means you're constantly told exactly how the characters are thinking or feeling, so there's no room for nuance or true conflict. Even worse, there are a few crucial scenes where only Fin's perspective is provided. Removing the other perspectives at these stages is obviously only done to drive drama, which I think is a cheat if you constantly switch perspectives otherwise. The writing overall feels choppy, and sometimes characters assert feelings that don't seem to match up to the actual events. The most egregious example is .
The author clearly has something to say about the nature of marriage and how it works (or doesn't) for queer relationships, but that doesn't really come through in the characterizations. The asides get shoehorned in. Basically, none of this worked for me, though I did like that this was set in the Hill Country and that there were many references to Austin landmarks and geography.
There are several references to Covid and its impact on the characters, which makes me think this book may have been written a few years ago and only recently edited for publication.
Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for sending me a copy!
July 3, 2026
This book felt like standing in a circle of people at a wedding who all went to college together and they’re talking about someone they all know and you have no clue what’s going on. A little funny but ultimately not that interesting
May 16, 2026
3.5 rounding up
We Are Gathered Here is a particularly melancholy book from an author I’ve come to associate with introspective, slow burn melancholy. Finlay Hightower (great name) is approaching the climax of a crisis of uncertainty - he doesn’t know what he’s doing with his career, his relationship, his friendships or his future - when he’s thrust into the peculiar suffocation of the forced fun of a wedding weekend spent with friends of friends that you don’t actually know and may not even like. This setting is a little uncomfortable, not just for the characters, but for the reader too. It’s also a slow burn of a story, which means you sit in this discomfort and suffocation for a while and it really does feel like you’re out on a lawn chair for endless hours trying to fight off the Texas sun. I’m a freak, so I really appreciate that sort of atmosphere building, but it doesn’t make for the most *fun* reading experience. While Bobby’s dry, quiet humor is here, it’s very understated, and I think it’s more likely to resonate with fans of his who can pick up on his particular setups and cues than newcomers.
I ended up enjoying the book, but I wonder how much of that can be attributed to my own willingness to sit in this discomfort because I’m a fan of Bobby Finger’s - not just his previous books, but his podcast as well. Recommend for fellow fans of his, but caution new readers that they are signing up for a slow exploration of intimacy, which is a delicate topic that doesn’t lend itself to big flashy emotions.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!
We Are Gathered Here is a particularly melancholy book from an author I’ve come to associate with introspective, slow burn melancholy. Finlay Hightower (great name) is approaching the climax of a crisis of uncertainty - he doesn’t know what he’s doing with his career, his relationship, his friendships or his future - when he’s thrust into the peculiar suffocation of the forced fun of a wedding weekend spent with friends of friends that you don’t actually know and may not even like. This setting is a little uncomfortable, not just for the characters, but for the reader too. It’s also a slow burn of a story, which means you sit in this discomfort and suffocation for a while and it really does feel like you’re out on a lawn chair for endless hours trying to fight off the Texas sun. I’m a freak, so I really appreciate that sort of atmosphere building, but it doesn’t make for the most *fun* reading experience. While Bobby’s dry, quiet humor is here, it’s very understated, and I think it’s more likely to resonate with fans of his who can pick up on his particular setups and cues than newcomers.
I ended up enjoying the book, but I wonder how much of that can be attributed to my own willingness to sit in this discomfort because I’m a fan of Bobby Finger’s - not just his previous books, but his podcast as well. Recommend for fellow fans of his, but caution new readers that they are signing up for a slow exploration of intimacy, which is a delicate topic that doesn’t lend itself to big flashy emotions.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!
June 28, 2026
WHOLIGANS RISE
June 26, 2026
A fun one to read having just gone through the experience of planning a wedding and getting married. I really like how Finger told an honest story about the realities of making a life-altering decision and commitment to another person. I think I liked Four Squares better and am now eager to read The Old Place. This was a little predictable but still an enjoyable part of my summer reading season.
July 2, 2026
Literally the perfect summer read.
July 21, 2026
Really wanted to like this, but the points of view switched so often I kept getting confused. The story is mostly told from Fin’s perspective, but it will sporadically jump to a different character mid-chapter (sometimes mid-paragraph). It made the writing feel rushed and sloppy. There were several unnecessary plot points; the couple of flashbacks to other weddings were pointless and Fin’s dead parents didn’t add much either.
June 13, 2026
This is a somewhat entertaining story about guests at a Texas wedding. I found most of the main characters (the group of gay guests) to be a bit insufferable. They’re in their mid-30s and all seem to have difficulty making important decisions or dealing with real life. It’s been a while for me, but I don’t remember being that immature at that stage of life.
There’s nothing wrong with unlikable characters in a book as long as they’re complex or do something interesting. The events in this book over a long weekend sound like fun, but the characters manage to bring everything down.
Where the book works best is in the one-on-one scenes between some of the protagonists. There are some heartfelt conversations that unveil deep-seated anxieties about life.
Thank you to Putnam and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
There’s nothing wrong with unlikable characters in a book as long as they’re complex or do something interesting. The events in this book over a long weekend sound like fun, but the characters manage to bring everything down.
Where the book works best is in the one-on-one scenes between some of the protagonists. There are some heartfelt conversations that unveil deep-seated anxieties about life.
Thank you to Putnam and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
September 25, 2026
imagine someone you don't really know telling you in excruciating detail about the wedding they attended last weekend. that is exactly what we are gathered here today does, except, for whatever reason, bobby finger decided to bless us with an omniscient narrator who likes to tap into different characters, sometimes for just one sentence, and rarely for a whole chapter, none of which ever goes anywhere because a big issue with this book is that nothing that happens and none of the characters are actually interesting. i am also quite sure that this book is autofiction and that every event, meal, conversation in it actually happened to bobby finger, who took write what you know too serious and graced us with hundreds of pages of the most mundane boring retellings of whatever.
my favourite part was when they spend a whole day playing lawn games(?) like corn hole or oversized connect four or whatever, and it's literally 50 pages because everything is described in excruciating detail. as the characters approach the scene, every single lawn game available is described in a few sentences, and then, as they play, one game after the other is again described, this time in great detail and then we get to hear all the characters' moves???? like literally, "she threw a red into the opening next to the one where he put his last yellow. it fell down the grid and landed on top of another red, making it a vertical line of two reds", etc. This book stole all my joy. i am very obviously not its target audience because i don't care about weddings, or millennials, or texas, but i cannot imagine that there is a single person in the world that likes to read an in-detail retelling of a game of oversized connect for played by some randos. similarly, no one needs to know about every item at the lunch buffet on thursday just as it also really does not matter at what time exactly each character shows up at said lunch.
you must also be aware that this book is proudly millennial, which i mean derogatory. i don't want to hear about anyone's chino pants or fresh fade haircut. i can come to terms with all the characters being incredibly boring and uninteresting, but i think bobby finger did not set out to write boring people? because it is often repeated that everyone else aside from our core characters are the boring ones?
also. if i would be from a country or live in a country where people carried around little beer condoms to wrap around their beverages, i would try to omit that fact. i don't think it adds to any story that all the characters brought their own personal several koozies and i do not know why anyone would want to repeat this fact whenever drinking comes up.
i think there were three different great aunt johannas in the making of this book. a neutral one, a severly ill one, and one that dies. throughout the book, we see all three of them, and it does not really make sense. in the beginning, we encounter fit aunt johanna who uses a cane and participates in the activities. towards the middle, we encounter the one who was supposed to die, who is suddenly bed-bound, but its all quite mysterious and people seem to worry about her. and then in the end, we have declining aunt johanna, who has apparently always used a wheelchair, which is repeated several times. i believe it would have been less than a day of work to decide on either neutral or declining aunt johanna, scrap the dying one, and go through this inflated nothing of a novel to adjust her parts. why did no one bother?
my favourite part was when they spend a whole day playing lawn games(?) like corn hole or oversized connect four or whatever, and it's literally 50 pages because everything is described in excruciating detail. as the characters approach the scene, every single lawn game available is described in a few sentences, and then, as they play, one game after the other is again described, this time in great detail and then we get to hear all the characters' moves???? like literally, "she threw a red into the opening next to the one where he put his last yellow. it fell down the grid and landed on top of another red, making it a vertical line of two reds", etc. This book stole all my joy. i am very obviously not its target audience because i don't care about weddings, or millennials, or texas, but i cannot imagine that there is a single person in the world that likes to read an in-detail retelling of a game of oversized connect for played by some randos. similarly, no one needs to know about every item at the lunch buffet on thursday just as it also really does not matter at what time exactly each character shows up at said lunch.
you must also be aware that this book is proudly millennial, which i mean derogatory. i don't want to hear about anyone's chino pants or fresh fade haircut. i can come to terms with all the characters being incredibly boring and uninteresting, but i think bobby finger did not set out to write boring people? because it is often repeated that everyone else aside from our core characters are the boring ones?
also. if i would be from a country or live in a country where people carried around little beer condoms to wrap around their beverages, i would try to omit that fact. i don't think it adds to any story that all the characters brought their own personal several koozies and i do not know why anyone would want to repeat this fact whenever drinking comes up.
i think there were three different great aunt johannas in the making of this book. a neutral one, a severly ill one, and one that dies. throughout the book, we see all three of them, and it does not really make sense. in the beginning, we encounter fit aunt johanna who uses a cane and participates in the activities. towards the middle, we encounter the one who was supposed to die, who is suddenly bed-bound, but its all quite mysterious and people seem to worry about her. and then in the end, we have declining aunt johanna, who has apparently always used a wheelchair, which is repeated several times. i believe it would have been less than a day of work to decide on either neutral or declining aunt johanna, scrap the dying one, and go through this inflated nothing of a novel to adjust her parts. why did no one bother?
July 4, 2026
Bobby is an instant buy author for me since I’m a wholigan but also because he’s a great author!!! I love the worlds he creates with great descriptive writing and interesting and real characters. This was a slower build for me but I loved the climax of the building tension and drama of this forced wedding fun friend group. Everyone has been to a wedding where they’ve been forced to make friends with complete strangers for a few hours and everyone has absolutely complained after the wedding about the annoying parts of the wedding on the way home! Crunch crunch!
September 14, 2026
3.5 rounded up
Bobby’s books have a way of growing on me. The beginning was a bit boring, but it actually served me well because having so much normal time on page with the characters made me really attached to them when conflict finally started happening.
I loved how the plot was centered around Elaine and Rupert’s wedding but Rupert was barely a character at all! Plus I was puzzled by Haley being included in the plot.
The writing was kinda trite, especially at the end, but all the build up and wedding drama was fun.
Not his best work but I ended up enjoying the experience.
Bobby’s books have a way of growing on me. The beginning was a bit boring, but it actually served me well because having so much normal time on page with the characters made me really attached to them when conflict finally started happening.
I loved how the plot was centered around Elaine and Rupert’s wedding but Rupert was barely a character at all! Plus I was puzzled by Haley being included in the plot.
The writing was kinda trite, especially at the end, but all the build up and wedding drama was fun.
Not his best work but I ended up enjoying the experience.
July 2, 2026
WHOLIGAN FOR LIFE!!!! I love how Bobby has such a distinct writing style, so descriptive and character driven, that you know from page 1 that you are getting a Bobby Finger novel. I think maybe Four Squares is my favorite of his, but I really like this one too. I love when books are set over one clear period of time, in this case a wedding weekend in Texas and I like how the plot builds slowly until things boil over during a float down the river. Crunch crunch!
August 15, 2026
3.25⭐️ i'll be honest when i looked up the reviews on goodreads i was quite terrified but i was pleasantly surprised ! Was it the best book ever written? No. Do i even like weddings? No. But was it a quite funny character driven book? Yes. Not the best but not the worst either. A decent beach read🤷🏻♀️
August 9, 2026
I’ve never seen more insufferable characters
August 18, 2026
Right off the bat let me say that this is actually a three and a half star book but Goodreads. It is slightly above average but not much.
Fin Hightower is attending the wedding of his closest cousin which is taking place at a western-themed venue in Texas. He's been placed at the "queer"table along with his best friend, a bickering married couple, and their best friend. The five wind up spending the weekend together, participating in all the games and activities, and getting to know each other. Fin has not revealed to his cousin Elaine or his friend Jacque that he has become engaged to his boyfriend, he is unsure if marriage is what he really wants, and on top of that, he finds himself mildly attracted to a member of the couple.
This is not by any means a bad book. Weddings always make for a fun read, especially outlandish ones, Fin is a nice character, and the writing is fine. The "Hour of Disrespect" which Fin, Jacque, and Elaine have always allotted themselves after a wedding is discussed constantly but turns out not to be as much fun as one would expect. I just found that I really didn't care about the outcome of the story.
This was a Goodreads win so my thanks to them and to the publisher, G.P. Putnam's & Sons.
Fin Hightower is attending the wedding of his closest cousin which is taking place at a western-themed venue in Texas. He's been placed at the "queer"table along with his best friend, a bickering married couple, and their best friend. The five wind up spending the weekend together, participating in all the games and activities, and getting to know each other. Fin has not revealed to his cousin Elaine or his friend Jacque that he has become engaged to his boyfriend, he is unsure if marriage is what he really wants, and on top of that, he finds himself mildly attracted to a member of the couple.
This is not by any means a bad book. Weddings always make for a fun read, especially outlandish ones, Fin is a nice character, and the writing is fine. The "Hour of Disrespect" which Fin, Jacque, and Elaine have always allotted themselves after a wedding is discussed constantly but turns out not to be as much fun as one would expect. I just found that I really didn't care about the outcome of the story.
This was a Goodreads win so my thanks to them and to the publisher, G.P. Putnam's & Sons.
Did Not Finish
July 28, 2026Read about half of this (to page 133) before it was due back at the library. I kept prioritizing other books ahead of it so I doubt I'll follow-up and finish it. I went into it hopeful – I'd seen people describe it as an LGBTQ+ twist on The Wedding People, which I really enjoyed. Unfortunately, there wasn't much depth to the characters, instead just catty quips.
August 9, 2026
Audiobook: almost dnf. It was slow towards the beginning and the narrator of the story sounded melancholic due to the inflection. It has it sound like it was a sadder story than what it was. And maybe that works as the main character did have a little of that vibe -stuck in their own, dealing with problems that may not fully exist in real life due to over thinking- but made this wedding story seem sad for no reason.
August 17, 2026
No depth to the characters- I made it 60% of the way through the book without having any sense of who these people were or true history of their relationships. Making it 60% in was a STRUGGLE. It’s rare that I cannot finish a book- but I couldn’t force it any longer and honestly wasn’t even interested enough to look up how it ends since it wasn’t actually going anywhere.
June 24, 2026
Wow, I LOVED this book! A perfect summer read about a millennial-ish gay guy newly engaged and feeling all sorts of ways about it while at a wedding weekend for his straight beloved cousin, Elaine.
I found this book so relatable- what DOES commitment mean? and HOW CAN YOU EVER BE SURE YOU ARE MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICE? in addition to laughing out loud at the dynamics of the friend group.
Warm hearted, realistic, and just damn delightful!
I found this book so relatable- what DOES commitment mean? and HOW CAN YOU EVER BE SURE YOU ARE MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICE? in addition to laughing out loud at the dynamics of the friend group.
Warm hearted, realistic, and just damn delightful!
July 18, 2026
A meditation on millennial marriage, with a strong dose of queer marriage thrown in as well. Loved all the Texas references from someone who knows what he’s talking about. I thought it started a bit slow, but I was very invested by the end.
August 17, 2026
“To be best friends with someone is to exist under a permanent cease-fire, both parties with ample means to destroy the other but choosing not to engage out of the fear of mutually assured destruction. That, and loving each other.”
Read
August 23, 2026Wanted to like this more than I did. Liked the musings on relationships and marriage and had some funny moments like the scavenger hunt scene and the hour of disrespect, but found it a bit clunky at times. Ending was lovely but kinda rushed.
September 1, 2026
⭐️⭐️⭐️.5!!
such an interesting take on weddings in general! loved the different perspectives we saw as the story progressed but feel like the message was sorta lost somewhere in the middle. very unique book & was a cutesy mindless read!
such an interesting take on weddings in general! loved the different perspectives we saw as the story progressed but feel like the message was sorta lost somewhere in the middle. very unique book & was a cutesy mindless read!
September 13, 2026
How millennial! This book was a drag, and I do not think it knew what it wanted to be. All the characters were uninteresting and even when there was objective drama going down, it was still boring. I only finished it because the audiobook is narrated by Michael Crouch and he's my favorite narrator.
October 8, 2026
Ugh, I had high hopes for this book but unfortunately it fell flat and felt very arbitrary, from the characters to plot points to the overall reflections/themes. There was also a weird sense of constant impending doom that never led anywhere… unsure if that was just me?
August 5, 2026
DNF: Not my cup of tea.
August 5, 2026
Oof. Not good.
September 1, 2026
3.5 stars, rounded up. I enjoyed the cast of characters and found the ending very satisfying!
September 15, 2026
I want to go to a wedding with this much intrigue :/
Displaying 1 - 30 of 244 reviews