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The Life Model: Living from the heart Jesus gave you
2004 SHEPHERD'S HOUSE SOFTCOVER
186 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 1999
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488 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
October 17, 2024
A counselor recommended this book awhile ago, but I just recently picked it up off our bookshelf. It's great for putting a model to pastoral care and Christian counseling that incorporates psychology and prayer for healing, with the goal of fully and appropriately maturing as a person and flourishing in Christ. I actually found it most helpful now that I'm a parent, to know how to help my kids through the maturity stages (has very helpful & practical charts), but also fruitful for my own personal reflection.
February 11, 2012
I highly recommend this book. It is short, yet full of valuable information on maturity and the various stages of one's maturity. It would be a great resource for parents, pastors, or anyone who deals in counseling, formal or informal. The last two chapters failed to impress me. I'm still confused as to what "false knowledge" is? Regardless, I still highly recommend reading this book.
July 14, 2017
This book is short but it's packed full of heavy stuff. It goes through the process of growing into full maturity so that you can live from the heart that Jesus gave you, and help others grow to this same maturity and live full lives. It's written by a team of Christian psychologists who have spent years developing this material and the books give many examples of patients they have helped over the years by following these principles. Reading this book I could actually see areas where I have grown in the past decade of my life and it was really encouraging. Even though it's heavy stuff, the material is very accessible and relatable to everyday life. I would encourage everyone to read this.
February 22, 2022
I would rate this book five out of five just for the part where they talked about how your most basic psychological need is to be the sparkle in someone's eye. Trauma recovery happens through experiencing joy, and the joy center in your brain never stops growing, so trauma recovery is always possible.
But the rest of it is really good too.
Five out of five stars for the leaves on the cover, the multitude of charts in this book, and for the personal stories from each of the professionals who worked on the book.
But the rest of it is really good too.
Five out of five stars for the leaves on the cover, the multitude of charts in this book, and for the personal stories from each of the professionals who worked on the book.
March 25, 2021
A truly wonderful and life-giving book little book. I wish I could give this 5 stars because the message and information is so very good. However, it’s written somewhat poorly, there are typos, and it could probably use an update.
But the message in this book should be shouted from the rooftops—when you become a Christian, you receive a new heart, and that Jesus-given heart is ❤️GOOD❤️!
Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You offers practical insight into this perspective that is quite frankly life-changing once you really see it and grasp it.
But the message in this book should be shouted from the rooftops—when you become a Christian, you receive a new heart, and that Jesus-given heart is ❤️GOOD❤️!
Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You offers practical insight into this perspective that is quite frankly life-changing once you really see it and grasp it.
March 28, 2011
Good concepts on the maturing process, the impact of emotional wounds, and the role of individuals and the community of believers. I firmly believe that this is a needed model in the Church.
Not as tightly written as I would want and the last chapter on living from your heart vs 'sark' (flesh)
Not as tightly written as I would want and the last chapter on living from your heart vs 'sark' (flesh)
February 19, 2024
Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You is a book / workbook (it has a hard time deciding which, more on this anon) focused on Christian spiritual maturity, especially for those who have suffered from trauma in their lives. In it, the authors describe wholeness, then the path to wholeness (maturity, recovery and belonging) followed by a return to their view of the heart and how to live from the heart. They close with a summary of their system: Life Model Living.
It is a decent read, as far as it goes, particularly in understanding life's traumas (which they separate into Type A: an absence of necessary good things, and Type B: bad things that happen.
It suffers, however, from at least four significant weaknesses: First, is their overuse of "trauma". Childhood and other life traumas are indeed important and need to be dealt with to create a whole and healthy person. But the authors make no attempt at defining "trauma" (other than categorizing its two types) or distinguishing it from the normal difficulties of life. Is every bad thing that happens in life "trauma"? If a parent is unable to give sufficient attention to a growing and vulnerable child "trauma"? The book would have been strengthened by a more careful definition of and focus on real trauma as distinguished from life's knocks in a fallen world.
Second, and related, is the book's description of how to help people with trauma, which is heavily focused on diagnosing the type of trauma, then the types of "dividedness" trauma has produced. These seem far more appropriate for people trained in therapy than someone simply trying to live out of the heart Jesus gave.
A third is their model's frustrating disconnection from Scripture. Their descriptions of the five stages of maturity (child, adolescent, adult, parent, elder) all describe social, personal and interpersonal attributes without any spiritual content at all; there is nothing uniquely Christian to that part of the model. Their description of "maturity" is just life maturity, not spiritual maturity. While the authors appeal to Scripture occasionally, the rest of the model suffers from the same disconnect: it seems to be built on a human development and therapeutic treatment foundation rather than on any distinct Christian or Biblical worldview.
Similarly, there is no useful guidance in their model for how to deal with sin, even if that sin is the result of childhood trauma. All who have suffered some kind of life trauma--and all of us who have not--fall into patterns of sin. Whether or not some kind of life difficulty underlies that sin, the sin must be dealt with as part of "wholeness, maturity, recovery and belonging." A reader looking for help dealing with the rebellion and sin of someone who has been affected by a life trauma will find nothing useful in the book to help. One could walk away from the book concluding that every one of his own problems are the fault of someone else and not his own rebellion.
Finally a note on the book's organization which I found to be very confusing. It has six chapters and fourteen lessons; the lessons are interspersed throughout the chapters. But it's not clear where a "lesson" starts or the "chapter" ends, or even what a "lesson" is. The lessons are set off with the exact same design as chapter headings (this is a problem) and include a series of questions that a reader would assume come from the previous reading. Most do. But following a "lesson" the book just launches into more prose without any other set off from what preceded it. Is this a part of the "lesson" we just started? If so, why are the questions in the front? Or is it a continuation of the chapter? I rather think the latter is the answer, but it clearly is not the answer in the last chapter. The designers of the books layout could have helped readers much more than they did.
All in all, not very helpful.
It is a decent read, as far as it goes, particularly in understanding life's traumas (which they separate into Type A: an absence of necessary good things, and Type B: bad things that happen.
It suffers, however, from at least four significant weaknesses: First, is their overuse of "trauma". Childhood and other life traumas are indeed important and need to be dealt with to create a whole and healthy person. But the authors make no attempt at defining "trauma" (other than categorizing its two types) or distinguishing it from the normal difficulties of life. Is every bad thing that happens in life "trauma"? If a parent is unable to give sufficient attention to a growing and vulnerable child "trauma"? The book would have been strengthened by a more careful definition of and focus on real trauma as distinguished from life's knocks in a fallen world.
Second, and related, is the book's description of how to help people with trauma, which is heavily focused on diagnosing the type of trauma, then the types of "dividedness" trauma has produced. These seem far more appropriate for people trained in therapy than someone simply trying to live out of the heart Jesus gave.
A third is their model's frustrating disconnection from Scripture. Their descriptions of the five stages of maturity (child, adolescent, adult, parent, elder) all describe social, personal and interpersonal attributes without any spiritual content at all; there is nothing uniquely Christian to that part of the model. Their description of "maturity" is just life maturity, not spiritual maturity. While the authors appeal to Scripture occasionally, the rest of the model suffers from the same disconnect: it seems to be built on a human development and therapeutic treatment foundation rather than on any distinct Christian or Biblical worldview.
Similarly, there is no useful guidance in their model for how to deal with sin, even if that sin is the result of childhood trauma. All who have suffered some kind of life trauma--and all of us who have not--fall into patterns of sin. Whether or not some kind of life difficulty underlies that sin, the sin must be dealt with as part of "wholeness, maturity, recovery and belonging." A reader looking for help dealing with the rebellion and sin of someone who has been affected by a life trauma will find nothing useful in the book to help. One could walk away from the book concluding that every one of his own problems are the fault of someone else and not his own rebellion.
Finally a note on the book's organization which I found to be very confusing. It has six chapters and fourteen lessons; the lessons are interspersed throughout the chapters. But it's not clear where a "lesson" starts or the "chapter" ends, or even what a "lesson" is. The lessons are set off with the exact same design as chapter headings (this is a problem) and include a series of questions that a reader would assume come from the previous reading. Most do. But following a "lesson" the book just launches into more prose without any other set off from what preceded it. Is this a part of the "lesson" we just started? If so, why are the questions in the front? Or is it a continuation of the chapter? I rather think the latter is the answer, but it clearly is not the answer in the last chapter. The designers of the books layout could have helped readers much more than they did.
All in all, not very helpful.
August 4, 2025
I’ve been slowly reading through this book. Definitely some good points. The reason I only gave three stars is because I feel they have some errors in the way they view the human soul. Firstly they talk quite a bit about finding your true self. From a biblical viewpoint, we are supposed to deny ourselves. We’re supposed to find ourselves in God. Secondly, their view on maturity I feel is not super helpful. They stated that maturity is often a function of finding your true self. And learning to live from yourself. I would argue that maturity is gained through your walk with God and what he teaches you through life and other people. Additionally, when I read this book, it feels a little bit like their style of writing indicates that are modern terms and ways of seeing are more superior than that of the Bibles. All that being said, it does seem like in the writing of this book they were trying to address some issues we have in the soul. I will say that their focus on church and family as being vital for personal flourishing and growth is very good.
July 8, 2020
Maturity is a word we often hear bandied about. Many people think they are mature but aren't. Others are downright immature. This book offers a clear and succinct definition of maturity looking at emotional and spiritual health and how trauma and adverse childhood experiences can negatively impact us. It was an overall helpful guide which will definitely inform my ministry, my only criticism is that it spent too much time implicitly suggesting that one cannot reach full maturity unless they are a parent. In a later chapter this was extended to include spiritual parenting which could be possible without biological children, but I believe the initial reading with parenting language plays once again into the church's misconception that one isn't a full person without marriage and children. It's totally possible a single person can still be mature. Other than that point, loves the wisdom from this book and will definitely be passing it on and encouraging others to read it.
January 5, 2025
One of the absolute best non-fiction Christian books I have ever read. This book details a model for maturity from infant level maturity all the way to an elder level maturity. It helps you understand that age has nothing to do with maturity -- and maturity is something we all need to strive to gain. Maturity means we understand our own needs, and we can meet our own needs. Adult and elder level maturity means we understand the needs of others and can meet their needs. It means we know how to help heal others, help mature others, nurture them and develop other people. FANTASTIC book I highly recommend for all Christians, especially anyone with a leadership role or leadership personality that wants to see growth in themselves and others.
March 1, 2022
Very insightful and helpful. A thin book packed full of guidance on the pathway to maturity that encompasses and intersects with all aspects of our lives.
"When we look into God's face with the eyes of the heart Jesus gave us, He makes His face shine upon us with joy. God is "glad to be with us" no matter what state we are in--whether in shame, anger, fear, disgust, humiliation or even hopeless despair. We love Him for it, and He teaches us how to act like ourselves so we, in turn, can be with each other and bring each other back to joy, build love bonds, and comfort one another with the comfort we have received."
"When we look into God's face with the eyes of the heart Jesus gave us, He makes His face shine upon us with joy. God is "glad to be with us" no matter what state we are in--whether in shame, anger, fear, disgust, humiliation or even hopeless despair. We love Him for it, and He teaches us how to act like ourselves so we, in turn, can be with each other and bring each other back to joy, build love bonds, and comfort one another with the comfort we have received."
August 23, 2025
A great tool on how to combine the help of therapy and healthy, loving relationships, and in fact they must be combined in most instances. Very helpful to know areas you need to work on and why.
Some of the terms and explanations were difficult to understand. Our group had a very tough time with the chapter on the heart and the sark. Also the meaning of "living from the heart Jesus gave you" and "acting like yourself" are often unclear. You need to work through the book and figure it out. I often felt like I was reading from one of the authors' notepads that they happened to publish. Additional definitions and examples would be nice.
Some of the terms and explanations were difficult to understand. Our group had a very tough time with the chapter on the heart and the sark. Also the meaning of "living from the heart Jesus gave you" and "acting like yourself" are often unclear. You need to work through the book and figure it out. I often felt like I was reading from one of the authors' notepads that they happened to publish. Additional definitions and examples would be nice.
June 23, 2020
I would probably give this 5 stars because there is so much good information in it. There are a couple of things toward the end that I am yet unsure of and need to do more searching. Overall, the book is revolutionary for the church as a whole. If we could get a hold of these truths and be the communities we need to be fore each other, a lot of people will be healed. Please read this book!
June 15, 2017
I love the concepts in the Life Model book, especially the different goals in life stages, and discussions on traumas, but it was a really tough read. Very clinical. it took me forever to get through.
April 24, 2020
Excellent Christian Counselling and Discipleship book which is a seminal resource for my counselling practice.
Excellent charts to determine one's level of Emotional Maturity developmentally.
Excellent charts to determine one's level of Emotional Maturity developmentally.
May 27, 2021
I cried.
April 7, 2022
This book is $1,000 of counseling sessions packed into 179 pages. I frequently reread my highlights!
September 4, 2022
Ch. 1 felt a bit . . . unprofessional? And Ch. 5 seemed odd and the idea of "false knowledge" wasn't explained very well. Otherwise, great book :)
Want to read
November 8, 2023Ee
November 28, 2023
The sections on maturity stages I found unique and insightful. There were a few other helpful sections but that was really the only meat there.
June 4, 2024
Many good insights on wounds and traumas that can be helpful in a pastoral role. However the solutions offered suffer from a bias of distrusting the intellect and separating faith from reason.
September 5, 2025
This is the place to start if you want to learn about the life Model.
From there, check out www.lifemodelworks.org
From there, check out www.lifemodelworks.org
November 21, 2021
This book is a must read for any Christian serving in a helping vocation. A great introductory book (written from the compiled wisdom of pastors, counselors, neuroscientists, spiritual directors and people who specialize in deliverance ministry) on how our wounds (Type A or B traumas) make our hearts vulnerable to live out of our hurt instead of a place of being healed, and how our hearts and brains can return to joy and wholeness.
A main theme discussed is our brain's natural ability to return us to joy when we experience a disruption to that from pain. When a person grows up in a healthy family unit, his/her brain experiences the necessary relational nurturing that allows for right neurological patterns to be established that return our brains to joy. This ultimately leads to a person's emotional maturity matching one's physical maturity as he/she develops. However, when a person's relational needs are not met in a family unit (Type A trauma) or he/she experiences bad things within the family unit (Type B trauma), the brain learns different neurological patterns to deal with the pain of these traumas in its attempt to return to joy (ex: dissociation), causing one's emotional maturity to be stunted as he/she physically grows.
The good news is that both our hearts and brains have an amazing capacity to heal and return to joy when God is central to the healing process and people experience safe and nurturing relationships within new family units through "spiritual adoption".
A worthwhile read for anyone who's experienced hurt and is looking for healing, and for anyone who desires to walk in love, compassion, and practical wisdom alongside those who are hurting. I'd love to see every Church be the kind of healing community this book describes.
A main theme discussed is our brain's natural ability to return us to joy when we experience a disruption to that from pain. When a person grows up in a healthy family unit, his/her brain experiences the necessary relational nurturing that allows for right neurological patterns to be established that return our brains to joy. This ultimately leads to a person's emotional maturity matching one's physical maturity as he/she develops. However, when a person's relational needs are not met in a family unit (Type A trauma) or he/she experiences bad things within the family unit (Type B trauma), the brain learns different neurological patterns to deal with the pain of these traumas in its attempt to return to joy (ex: dissociation), causing one's emotional maturity to be stunted as he/she physically grows.
The good news is that both our hearts and brains have an amazing capacity to heal and return to joy when God is central to the healing process and people experience safe and nurturing relationships within new family units through "spiritual adoption".
A worthwhile read for anyone who's experienced hurt and is looking for healing, and for anyone who desires to walk in love, compassion, and practical wisdom alongside those who are hurting. I'd love to see every Church be the kind of healing community this book describes.
June 7, 2013
The Life Model is full of healthy insight as we face suffering. It contains a practical guide to maximize each stage of your life. It identifies ways to heal traumas. It is about seeking redemption and striving for maturity.
I found this book to be very helpful in understanding the impact of losing my father when I was seven years old. It also helped me process the trauma of giving birth to a son born with severe congenital birth defects. I identified with the type A and type B traumas explained throughout the book.
There are practical steps leading to healing and wholeness written by licensed therapists who have dealt with various forms wounded hearts. It is a great help for communities who want to cultivate an atmosphere of valuing individuals and embracing the wounded as part of the family. It is all about receiving and giving life as we walk toward greater maturity.
The Life Model is about seeking wholeness, maturity, recovery, belonging, and a healthy heart.
I have underlined nearly every page and often find myself referring back to the book to glean a nugget of truth. I use it as a guide for myself, while helping a friend or reminding those I love of the need for community.
I found this book to be very helpful in understanding the impact of losing my father when I was seven years old. It also helped me process the trauma of giving birth to a son born with severe congenital birth defects. I identified with the type A and type B traumas explained throughout the book.
There are practical steps leading to healing and wholeness written by licensed therapists who have dealt with various forms wounded hearts. It is a great help for communities who want to cultivate an atmosphere of valuing individuals and embracing the wounded as part of the family. It is all about receiving and giving life as we walk toward greater maturity.
The Life Model is about seeking wholeness, maturity, recovery, belonging, and a healthy heart.
I have underlined nearly every page and often find myself referring back to the book to glean a nugget of truth. I use it as a guide for myself, while helping a friend or reminding those I love of the need for community.
March 23, 2013
Wow.....
This book really is amazing although quite difficult at the same time. Not difficult to read but, difficult to realize & accept where you are & where/what you came from. I worked on this book with a Christian mentor. I think if I were to have just "read it" alone, I would have missed much of the growth opportunity that opened up. I will periodically pick up this book to review something for myself, my husband or to understand what I am doing or could be doing to my son. Very good book. While a short paper back - a life long book of understanding.
My husband & I refer to it as the "green book". That's all we need to say for both of us to understand. He obviously read it & worked with the same Christian mentor.
June 30, 2008
I haven't gotten very far yet, but one of my favorite quotes from the book so far is
"Our work will not save us but it will express that we are new
creations. It is our work to grow and reach maturity together
with all the saints. To acheive this we must live from our new
hearts, being sanctified, healed, delivered from evil and
guided by God alone."
I also like how the book talks about the church needing wounded people, wounded hearts need the church. Can't wait to read more!!
"Our work will not save us but it will express that we are new
creations. It is our work to grow and reach maturity together
with all the saints. To acheive this we must live from our new
hearts, being sanctified, healed, delivered from evil and
guided by God alone."
I also like how the book talks about the church needing wounded people, wounded hearts need the church. Can't wait to read more!!
September 9, 2013
In the pursuit of helping wounded people, it was good to find a book with simple yet profound approach. Five authors with different education and experience answer the question of how to help wounded people. They treat the issues like why counseling fails and where maturity stalls. Additionally to the two recommended target groups, church leaders and wounded people, I recommend that missionaries become acquainted with this work as they meet many wounded people who do not know Christ as personal savior or have not experienced Christ in healing their wounds.
February 13, 2011
I HIGHLY recommend this book. A biblical Erickson-based psychospiritual stages of development that is right on and helpful to all leaders. Dr. Jim Wilder, a professional psychologist and pastoral counselor, lays out a very simple and yet extremely effective view of the lifespan and how to develop a healthy church that encourages true maturity and discipleship, addressing every generation.
September 17, 2012
This is the 3rd time reading this book. I highly recommend this for young adults desiring to marry, married couples, parents, pastors, and counselors. Each time I read it I learn something about myself and I have more compassion for those that are hurting. We need caring people to mature, it's a process we all need to walk through with people.
April 30, 2008
This book is an excellent look at how to mature in ways that most of us were never taught. Read it with a highlighter handy!
"The goal of maturity, however, is to act like oneself in all emotions and circumstances" (p. 63)
Anyone who has ever faced trauma will want to read this book!
"The goal of maturity, however, is to act like oneself in all emotions and circumstances" (p. 63)
Anyone who has ever faced trauma will want to read this book!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews