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The Past We Carry
"A tense, juicy and dark journey that will have you turning the pages to keep up with all the drama. An author to watch." - Rebecca Heath, author of The Dinner Party.
What if you had the power to rewrite your family’s history, but in doing so would change everything you’ve ever known? This is what Bianca must answer as she finds herself sent back in time to confront the tragedy that forever altered her lineage.
Bianca is in the middle of her second breakdown. She blames her mother, Frances, for the last one, sending her to stay at Northpark Mental Hospital. Although this time it’s a little different, she’s in 1979. And now she has a chance to break the chain of events that started it all.
Walking the Heysen Trail, in South Australia, Bianca finds herself making the journey with her grandparents and her grandmother’s sister. She knows how their trip ends; two of them perish falling from a cliff. The effects of this tragic event rippled through her grandmother and then onto Frances and Bianca. It’s up to Bianca to delve further into her mind to try and remember enough to stop it.
What if you had the power to rewrite your family’s history, but in doing so would change everything you’ve ever known? This is what Bianca must answer as she finds herself sent back in time to confront the tragedy that forever altered her lineage.
Bianca is in the middle of her second breakdown. She blames her mother, Frances, for the last one, sending her to stay at Northpark Mental Hospital. Although this time it’s a little different, she’s in 1979. And now she has a chance to break the chain of events that started it all.
Walking the Heysen Trail, in South Australia, Bianca finds herself making the journey with her grandparents and her grandmother’s sister. She knows how their trip ends; two of them perish falling from a cliff. The effects of this tragic event rippled through her grandmother and then onto Frances and Bianca. It’s up to Bianca to delve further into her mind to try and remember enough to stop it.
- GenresAmazon
248 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 24, 2026
About the author
Vanessa Benford
2 books10 followersVanessa Benford has spent three decades building a career in finance across the US, UK and Australia. Originally from California, she has lived and worked around the world, bringing a global lens to her storytelling. Now based in Melbourne with her husband and three children, Vanessa draws on her love of travel, culture and music to craft stories that explore connection, identity and the paths we take in search of meaning.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
May 15, 2026
I honestly have mixed feelings about The Past We Carry, but overall it was a good story and definitely an enjoyable read.
The premise grabbed me right away- a woman goes back in time to 1979 to stop a family tragedy on the Heysen Trail and break a cycle of generational trauma. It’s a really cool blend of psychological drama and time-travel suspense.
My biggest issue was that it felt a bit like two completely different books mashed together. The very beginning focuses heavily on her messy present-day life, including a sudden affair with her best friend's fiancé that happens with almost zero buildup. I kind of wish the author had just picked a lane. Either give us a deep dive into her present-day drama and the emotional fallout of that affair, or focus entirely on the historical time-slip mystery.
Bianca is also a really complicated main character. Her emotional fragility adds some good depth, but she can be so unpredictable that I sometimes didn't know how I was supposed to feel about her. I also found myself wishing the writing was just a little more descriptive in certain parts to really pull me into the scenes and the setting.
Don't get me wrong, despite the slightly uneven pacing and feeling like two different stories at times, it really is a good book that kept me fully entertained and at times feeling a relatable touch to how we all as humans would love to change the past. There is an emotional aspect to this book towards the end that gets you in the heart and I think that’s why I chose to give it a 5 star. If you're into family dramas mixed with time-bending elements, you'll probably have a lot of fun reading this one!
The premise grabbed me right away- a woman goes back in time to 1979 to stop a family tragedy on the Heysen Trail and break a cycle of generational trauma. It’s a really cool blend of psychological drama and time-travel suspense.
My biggest issue was that it felt a bit like two completely different books mashed together. The very beginning focuses heavily on her messy present-day life, including a sudden affair with her best friend's fiancé that happens with almost zero buildup. I kind of wish the author had just picked a lane. Either give us a deep dive into her present-day drama and the emotional fallout of that affair, or focus entirely on the historical time-slip mystery.
Bianca is also a really complicated main character. Her emotional fragility adds some good depth, but she can be so unpredictable that I sometimes didn't know how I was supposed to feel about her. I also found myself wishing the writing was just a little more descriptive in certain parts to really pull me into the scenes and the setting.
Don't get me wrong, despite the slightly uneven pacing and feeling like two different stories at times, it really is a good book that kept me fully entertained and at times feeling a relatable touch to how we all as humans would love to change the past. There is an emotional aspect to this book towards the end that gets you in the heart and I think that’s why I chose to give it a 5 star. If you're into family dramas mixed with time-bending elements, you'll probably have a lot of fun reading this one!
Review of advance copy received from Author
The Past We Carry is a reflective contemporary novel about how our histories shape us — and how facing them can change everything. It’s a story that asks: how much of who we are is rooted in the memories we hold close, and what happens when those memories resurface in unexpected ways?
What stands out is the author’s ability to balance emotion with clarity — exploring deep feelings without slipping into melodrama. There’s a quiet wisdom here, a sense that the past isn’t something to escape but something to understand. For readers who enjoy books that leave you thinking about your own experiences long after the last page, this one resonates.
What stands out is the author’s ability to balance emotion with clarity — exploring deep feelings without slipping into melodrama. There’s a quiet wisdom here, a sense that the past isn’t something to escape but something to understand. For readers who enjoy books that leave you thinking about your own experiences long after the last page, this one resonates.
May 12, 2026
Vanessa Benford does a great job of exploring how the things we try to leave behind always seem to find a way back to the surface. The story has a really rich, emotional atmosphere that makes the weight of the characters' history feel tangible. It’s a thoughtful, slower-paced mystery that focuses more on the psychological impact of the past than just the mechanics of the plot. If you're into grounded, character-heavy stories that take their time to build a mood, this one is definitely worth a look.
March 16, 2026
As both an author and a mental health professional, I’m always a little cautious when I start a book that weaves psychological themes with trauma and family history. Too often the emotional layers feel shallow or sensationalized. BUT... this book surprised me in the best way!
Vanessa Benford delivers a story that is both emotionally rich and genuinely gripping. Bianca’s journey through time isn’t just a clever plot device, it becomes a powerful exploration of generational trauma, memory, and the way unresolved pain can echo through families for decades. As someone who works in mental health, I appreciated the way Bianca’s breakdowns and inner struggles were portrayed with compassion rather than judgment.
The concept itself is fascinating: being sent back to the moment where your family’s tragedy began and having the chance to change it. But what makes the story compelling is the emotional tension behind that choice. If you rewrite the past, what happens to the people and relationships that shaped who you are?
Benford builds this tension beautifully as Bianca walks the Heysen Trail with the very people she knows are destined for tragedy. The sense of inevitability creates a quiet, haunting suspense that kept me turning the pages.
What stood out most to me was the book’s reflection on healing. It reminds us that understanding the past can be transformative, but it can also be messy, complicated, and deeply emotional. That truth felt authentic.
If you enjoy emotionally layered thrillers with strong psychological depth, this book is well worth reading. It’s a thoughtful, suspenseful story about family, memory, and the difficult question of whether changing the past would truly set us free.
Vanessa Benford delivers a story that is both emotionally rich and genuinely gripping. Bianca’s journey through time isn’t just a clever plot device, it becomes a powerful exploration of generational trauma, memory, and the way unresolved pain can echo through families for decades. As someone who works in mental health, I appreciated the way Bianca’s breakdowns and inner struggles were portrayed with compassion rather than judgment.
The concept itself is fascinating: being sent back to the moment where your family’s tragedy began and having the chance to change it. But what makes the story compelling is the emotional tension behind that choice. If you rewrite the past, what happens to the people and relationships that shaped who you are?
Benford builds this tension beautifully as Bianca walks the Heysen Trail with the very people she knows are destined for tragedy. The sense of inevitability creates a quiet, haunting suspense that kept me turning the pages.
What stood out most to me was the book’s reflection on healing. It reminds us that understanding the past can be transformative, but it can also be messy, complicated, and deeply emotional. That truth felt authentic.
If you enjoy emotionally layered thrillers with strong psychological depth, this book is well worth reading. It’s a thoughtful, suspenseful story about family, memory, and the difficult question of whether changing the past would truly set us free.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Vanessa Benford's “The Past We Carry” opens with a premise thick with possibility: a young woman from 2025, adrift after sabotaging her closest friendship, walks into Australia's remote Parachilna Gorge and emerges in 1979. Bianca is fleeing the wreckage of an affair with her best friend's fiancé when she inexplicably slips backward in time, encountering her own grandparents on the Heysen Trail.
The novel’s central conceit is compelling and ambitious: Bianca must prevent a family tragedy while confronting the generational toxicity that shaped her. But the narrative sidesteps its most difficult questions. Rather than interrogating why Bianca repeats patterns of betrayal and self-destruction, Benford opts for melodrama. Affairs, deaths, improbable coincidences – these feel more like soap opera fodder than events that organically evolve from the plot.
More troubling is the novel's general treatment of mental illness and morality. Bianca is a difficult character to root for, or sympathize with. She refers to both her mother and grandmother as “psychopaths” and toxic narcissists, yet her own actions are incomparably worse. She commits murder (twice) without meaningful consequence or introspection. The story rewards her violence as heroism, a troubling elision in a book that’s supposed to be about breaking cycles of harm.
I would have liked to see the metaphysical architecture explored more, and for Bianca to achieve that hinted-at generational reckoning. Still, “The Past We Carry” will satisfy readers seeking an easy, high-concept escape.
The novel’s central conceit is compelling and ambitious: Bianca must prevent a family tragedy while confronting the generational toxicity that shaped her. But the narrative sidesteps its most difficult questions. Rather than interrogating why Bianca repeats patterns of betrayal and self-destruction, Benford opts for melodrama. Affairs, deaths, improbable coincidences – these feel more like soap opera fodder than events that organically evolve from the plot.
More troubling is the novel's general treatment of mental illness and morality. Bianca is a difficult character to root for, or sympathize with. She refers to both her mother and grandmother as “psychopaths” and toxic narcissists, yet her own actions are incomparably worse. She commits murder (twice) without meaningful consequence or introspection. The story rewards her violence as heroism, a troubling elision in a book that’s supposed to be about breaking cycles of harm.
I would have liked to see the metaphysical architecture explored more, and for Bianca to achieve that hinted-at generational reckoning. Still, “The Past We Carry” will satisfy readers seeking an easy, high-concept escape.
March 17, 2026
In this story, Bianca finds herself somehow sent into the past, offering her an opportunity - possibly - to fix things that went horribly wrong for her family.
The story explores paths taken and connections between the past and present. While touted as a time-travel tale, that aspect takes more of a back seat to all the story's drama between family and friends, their relationships, and the main character's often questionable actions as part of that drama.
Still, the drama is compelling, pulling the reader in to see what happens and how things work out for Bianca and those around her. There are interesting twists as the tale develops, with much of the story happening on something like a walkabout. Book Club Questions at the end allow for some thoughtful consideration of aspects of the story.
At times, the story unfortunately lost track of its characters. For one particularly key event, some characters were there, then no mention of them until after the event was resolved and they were encountered in another location. In addition, several abrupt time/location jumps happened just from one paragraph to the next. These issues interrupted the story's flow, requiring looking back and rereading to see if something was missed, which made for a bit of a rocky reading experience.
But overall, despite issues in parts of the book, I really liked this engrossing, entertaining read - wonderful especially for readers who enjoy stories of messy, family and friends’ drama.
(I read this book through Kindle Unlimited.)
The story explores paths taken and connections between the past and present. While touted as a time-travel tale, that aspect takes more of a back seat to all the story's drama between family and friends, their relationships, and the main character's often questionable actions as part of that drama.
Still, the drama is compelling, pulling the reader in to see what happens and how things work out for Bianca and those around her. There are interesting twists as the tale develops, with much of the story happening on something like a walkabout. Book Club Questions at the end allow for some thoughtful consideration of aspects of the story.
At times, the story unfortunately lost track of its characters. For one particularly key event, some characters were there, then no mention of them until after the event was resolved and they were encountered in another location. In addition, several abrupt time/location jumps happened just from one paragraph to the next. These issues interrupted the story's flow, requiring looking back and rereading to see if something was missed, which made for a bit of a rocky reading experience.
But overall, despite issues in parts of the book, I really liked this engrossing, entertaining read - wonderful especially for readers who enjoy stories of messy, family and friends’ drama.
(I read this book through Kindle Unlimited.)
April 14, 2026
Vanessa Benford's *The Past We Carry* presents a deceptively simple premise: Bianca is sent into the past, given what appears to be an opportunity to repair the fractures that have defined her family. But Benford is less interested in the mechanics of time travel than in what happens when a flawed person is handed the power to rewrite her own history — and discovers that her instincts may be part of the problem.
The novel's real territory is relational drama: tangled loyalties, unspoken resentments, and the often questionable decisions people make when they believe they are fixing things. Benford writes with a subtle, perceptive hand, building suspense through character rather than spectacle and refusing the comfort of easy moral resolution. The consequences feel earned, the relationships messy in the way authentic relationships are, and the narrative pulls the reader forward with genuine compulsion — the kind that keeps you reading past two in the morning.
Where the book occasionally stumbles is in continuity. Characters disappear during pivotal scenes without explanation, and abrupt shifts in time and location sometimes fracture the reading experience, requiring backtracking to reorient. These structural rough spots interrupt an otherwise engrossing flow. But Benford's core achievement remains intact: a story that understands time travel as metaphor — not for changing the past, but for confronting how stubbornly we carry it.
A woman travels backward to fix her family. What she discovers is that some fractures run deeper than any timeline can reach.
The novel's real territory is relational drama: tangled loyalties, unspoken resentments, and the often questionable decisions people make when they believe they are fixing things. Benford writes with a subtle, perceptive hand, building suspense through character rather than spectacle and refusing the comfort of easy moral resolution. The consequences feel earned, the relationships messy in the way authentic relationships are, and the narrative pulls the reader forward with genuine compulsion — the kind that keeps you reading past two in the morning.
Where the book occasionally stumbles is in continuity. Characters disappear during pivotal scenes without explanation, and abrupt shifts in time and location sometimes fracture the reading experience, requiring backtracking to reorient. These structural rough spots interrupt an otherwise engrossing flow. But Benford's core achievement remains intact: a story that understands time travel as metaphor — not for changing the past, but for confronting how stubbornly we carry it.
A woman travels backward to fix her family. What she discovers is that some fractures run deeper than any timeline can reach.
Review of advance copy
I have received a advanced copy of this book.
The Past We Carry is one of those books that pulls you in with its vibe before it hits you with its complications. I really enjoyed the lighter, lovely tone at the start — the Melbourne settings, the wedding build-up, the sharp social observations. It feels glossy and familiar before the story shifts into something far more ambitious.
Bianca is messy in a very human way (in many ways I could relate). She makes questionable decisions, particularly in the lead-up to the wedding, and the story doesn’t try to soften that. I appreciated that she isn’t written as perfect or even particularly admirable at times. The dynamic between her and Nikos is uncomfortable by design, and it works — you feel the selfishness, the thrill, and the fallout.
That said, I did feel the novel would have benefited from deeper development. The emotional stakes are strong in concept, but in some areas I wanted more. I felt the secondary characters, too, had potential for more nuance. Emma in particular is interesting — beautiful, controlled, oblivious or perhaps not?
Overall, this is an engaging, character-driven drama with a sleek, light touch that makes it a good read.
The Past We Carry is one of those books that pulls you in with its vibe before it hits you with its complications. I really enjoyed the lighter, lovely tone at the start — the Melbourne settings, the wedding build-up, the sharp social observations. It feels glossy and familiar before the story shifts into something far more ambitious.
Bianca is messy in a very human way (in many ways I could relate). She makes questionable decisions, particularly in the lead-up to the wedding, and the story doesn’t try to soften that. I appreciated that she isn’t written as perfect or even particularly admirable at times. The dynamic between her and Nikos is uncomfortable by design, and it works — you feel the selfishness, the thrill, and the fallout.
That said, I did feel the novel would have benefited from deeper development. The emotional stakes are strong in concept, but in some areas I wanted more. I felt the secondary characters, too, had potential for more nuance. Emma in particular is interesting — beautiful, controlled, oblivious or perhaps not?
Overall, this is an engaging, character-driven drama with a sleek, light touch that makes it a good read.
Review of advance copy received from Author
I was beyond delighted when Vanessa reached out with an advanced copy of her new novel.
“The Past We Carry” follows Bianca, in hospital grappling with a decline in her mental health and unresolved trauma. When Bianca unexpectedly finds herself with the opportunity to rewrite a pivotal moment in her family’s history, she must decide whether changing the past is worth the consequences it may bring.
Bianca isn’t particularly a likeable FMC, and while I didn’t always agree with her decisions, I found myself drawn to her vulnerability and rawness.
As she tries to navigate the past, Bianca’s relationships deteriorate. She hurts the people she loves and finds herself repeating the same mistakes she once judged in others.
At its heart, the story is about the messy, painful, and ultimately redemptive journey of healing - finding peace with the past, with herself, and with the people she cares about, however she gets there. It’s the kind of story that pulls you in even if the characters don’t always make the easiest choices.
“The Past We Carry” follows Bianca, in hospital grappling with a decline in her mental health and unresolved trauma. When Bianca unexpectedly finds herself with the opportunity to rewrite a pivotal moment in her family’s history, she must decide whether changing the past is worth the consequences it may bring.
Bianca isn’t particularly a likeable FMC, and while I didn’t always agree with her decisions, I found myself drawn to her vulnerability and rawness.
As she tries to navigate the past, Bianca’s relationships deteriorate. She hurts the people she loves and finds herself repeating the same mistakes she once judged in others.
At its heart, the story is about the messy, painful, and ultimately redemptive journey of healing - finding peace with the past, with herself, and with the people she cares about, however she gets there. It’s the kind of story that pulls you in even if the characters don’t always make the easiest choices.
Review of advance copy
Bianca is despicable! Why did I decide to read this book?
I returned to the blurb, which reminded me that “The Past We Carry” is a time-travel book. After Bianca does the unthinkable with her best friend’s fiancé, she agrees with her parents that it’s time for some personal improvement.
Bianca decides that a long hike in Southern Australia might provide the opportunity for some self-improvement. All it takes is one night’s sleep in Southern Australia’s mystical Parachilna Gorge, and Bianca meets some fellow hikers with the same names as some of her family members. But they’re around Bianca’s age rather than being much older. Weird. Be warned: it gets stranger.
I enjoyed the book, although I’ll leave it to you to judge the success of Bianca’s self-improvement efforts. She certainly faces some significant challenges.
Thank you to Hidden Gems for the advance reader copy. This is my honest review.
I returned to the blurb, which reminded me that “The Past We Carry” is a time-travel book. After Bianca does the unthinkable with her best friend’s fiancé, she agrees with her parents that it’s time for some personal improvement.
Bianca decides that a long hike in Southern Australia might provide the opportunity for some self-improvement. All it takes is one night’s sleep in Southern Australia’s mystical Parachilna Gorge, and Bianca meets some fellow hikers with the same names as some of her family members. But they’re around Bianca’s age rather than being much older. Weird. Be warned: it gets stranger.
I enjoyed the book, although I’ll leave it to you to judge the success of Bianca’s self-improvement efforts. She certainly faces some significant challenges.
Thank you to Hidden Gems for the advance reader copy. This is my honest review.
April 5, 2026
The idea of going back to change a family tragedy pulled me in right away, and I liked how the story connects past and present in a very personal way.
Bianca’s situation feels heavy from the start, and you can really feel how much the past has affected her. The time travel element isn’t just there for suspense, it ties directly into her emotional struggle, which made it more meaningful.
The setting and the buildup to what you know is coming adds a lot of tension. Even knowing what’s supposed to happen, there’s still that feeling of wondering if things can actually be changed.
At times it leans more into the emotional side than the thriller side, but that worked for me because it keeps the focus on the characters and their relationships.
Overall, it’s a thoughtful story about family, trauma, and the idea of whether changing the past would really fix anything.
Bianca’s situation feels heavy from the start, and you can really feel how much the past has affected her. The time travel element isn’t just there for suspense, it ties directly into her emotional struggle, which made it more meaningful.
The setting and the buildup to what you know is coming adds a lot of tension. Even knowing what’s supposed to happen, there’s still that feeling of wondering if things can actually be changed.
At times it leans more into the emotional side than the thriller side, but that worked for me because it keeps the focus on the characters and their relationships.
Overall, it’s a thoughtful story about family, trauma, and the idea of whether changing the past would really fix anything.
Review of advance copy
The Past We Carry is a thoughtful, emotionally resonant novel about memory, healing, and the lasting impact of unresolved wounds. Vanessa Benford delivers a character‑driven story that feels intimate and sincere, exploring how personal and generational histories shape present lives.
With restrained, reflective prose, the novel highlights the courage it takes to confront the past in order to move forward. Quiet yet powerful, The Past We Carry will resonate with readers who appreciate introspective stories centered on growth, resilience, and emotional truth.
With restrained, reflective prose, the novel highlights the courage it takes to confront the past in order to move forward. Quiet yet powerful, The Past We Carry will resonate with readers who appreciate introspective stories centered on growth, resilience, and emotional truth.
January 26, 2026
Was a fantastic quick read for over a long weekend.
Was great reading about places and streets I know of.
I really enjoyed the twists in this book - I kept swapping from thinking the FMC deserves everything she gets to rooting for her to change her families history.
I finished the book wanting more with so many ideas in my head for what could be next for her family… will history repeat itself?
I found it very interesting and well written.
Was great reading about places and streets I know of.
I really enjoyed the twists in this book - I kept swapping from thinking the FMC deserves everything she gets to rooting for her to change her families history.
I finished the book wanting more with so many ideas in my head for what could be next for her family… will history repeat itself?
I found it very interesting and well written.
March 5, 2026
This is a good story about how past events can shape generations and how one person tries to break that cycle. The time-travel element adds suspense, while the emotional side of family relationships gives the story depth. Bianca’s journey to understand and possibly change a tragic moment keeps the reader interested. It is an engaging and thoughtful read about family, memory, and the difficult question of whether changing the past would truly fix the present.
March 5, 2026
The Past We Carry is a gripping story that combines emotional family drama with a time travel element. Bianca’s attempt to change the past while confronting her family’s history creates a strong sense of tension throughout the book. The writing feels reflective and atmospheric, especially with the setting along the trail. If you enjoy stories that explore relationships, memory, and difficult choices, this is a very engaging read
February 28, 2026
Poignant Past
This moving story follows Bianca, a woman having a breakdown, and explores how the mind can journey into family history to make sense of the present. Her encounters with the ghosts of the past are beautifully drawn, and the healing path she wanders through in her imagination becomes the reader’s route into the heart of her family saga.
This moving story follows Bianca, a woman having a breakdown, and explores how the mind can journey into family history to make sense of the present. Her encounters with the ghosts of the past are beautifully drawn, and the healing path she wanders through in her imagination becomes the reader’s route into the heart of her family saga.
March 1, 2026
Her life all change when she lost some of her family in the past. She is now in the middle of her second breakdown. She finds herself in the past with a chance to save them but in doing so how will it change her future? See what she will do
I received an advance copy from hidden gems and a powerful message
I received an advance copy from hidden gems and a powerful message
March 17, 2026
If only we could know the Past We Carry! This book delves into a family's history with fascinating detail. If you like time-traveling novels, you'll surely like this one. Mental illness is one of the themes, and it makes this a serious study.
March 31, 2026
WOW WOW WOW
I stayed up until 245am to finish this book. I HAD to see how the author brought it all together.
It started off a bit slow and I almost stopped reading it but then I got hooked.
It is so worth reading to get to that surprise ending
I stayed up until 245am to finish this book. I HAD to see how the author brought it all together.
It started off a bit slow and I almost stopped reading it but then I got hooked.
It is so worth reading to get to that surprise ending
April 15, 2026
A beautiful and tragic story that follows how Bianca, when she has a Breakdown explores the ghost of her past and how this can help her work through her traumas. Lots of emotion and very emotionally rich. I would recommend.
Review of advance copy received from Author
The Past We Carry is a heartfelt and reflective story that thoughtfully explores how memories and past experiences shape who we become. The writing is engaging and emotional, making it easy to connect with the characters and their journeys. While the pacing slows slightly at times, the overall message and depth make it a rewarding and meaningful read.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews