Your boss asked you for a chat, and you just knew you were going to be fired You didn't sleep all weekend, and you weren't fired
Someone answered your message with a thumbs-up emoji and you just knew they hated you. So you stopped talking to them, they eventually stopped texting, and now you miss them like crazy
Someone went for a bathroom break mid-film, and you just knew it's because they think your taste in films is terrible You were so upset you missed the rest of the film, and they left early
Rejection is physically painful for you. Even the most minor criticism stings. And why wouldn't it? By the time you were 12, you'd received 20,000 negative messages about yourself, your brain and your unique ADHD way of living life.
20,000.
Alex Partridge knows how it feels to live with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), the state of emotional dysregulation experienced by almost everyone with ADHD. Throughout his journey from successful entrepreneur to neurodiversity campaigner and host of the hugely successful ADHD Chatter, Alex has been haunted by the fear of rejection, labelled 'over-sensitive', and fought constantly against the desire to people-please and protect himself from emotional harm.
In Why Does Everybody Hate Me? Alex draws on his own experience of RSD, and shares how it's coloured every aspect of his life, from his days as founder of the global social media content brands UniLad and LadBible, to his adult relationships, his mental health struggles and his terrible imposter syndrome. He'll use the insights he's gained from the world's top experts on ADHD to share with you some simple steps to regaining your boundaries, your confidence and your self-belief.
You are not 'too sensitive' - nor are you broken. You were always enough.
I follow Alex on social media so his views and knowledge on ADHD aren't quite new. And this is the exact reason I wanted to read his book because his social media posts have always been spot on descriptions of my own life. He actually contributed quite a bit of me filling in an ADHD questionnaire at work, and low and behold...my score went through the roof.
This book is a next level personal attack 😁 I started wondering if he has been living with me, observing me, I just haven't noticed it yet. I love his analytical mind, breaking down everyday situations and explaining them from the ADHD/RSD perspective. It certainly explained a lot of things from my 40 something years, when I just couldn't understand why I didn't fit in and thought that there was something wrong with me. Well, it turns out, there is, but it's normal 😊
I highly recommend this book, it's entertaining, it' funny, it's educational, it's reflective. It reminds me of Dean Burnette's The Idiot Brain.
Thank you NetGalley and Alex for the ARC, great book!
Thanks to Netgalley and Sheldon Press for the advanced copy
Full disclaimer, I am not diagnosed with ADHD or autism, I do have a "developmental disorder not otherwise specified" one, which is what you will get if you are a woman over 35 in France (it should be on the ASD spectrum, but not in France, I could talk about my country and neurodiversity and women for hours, but now is not the time). I do tick all the boxes of RSD though, which is why I picked up this book.
I agree with the author so much : we don't talk enough about RSD when we talk about ADHD (or neurodiversity in general). Forget executive dysfunction, RSD is probably the hardest part of it all because it makes relationships (all kind of relationships) so much more complicated ; it's also probably a big contributor of burnout because it is exhausting to overthink social interactions like that.
This book explains what RSD is really well (I truly believe that the best way to beat something is to actually understand it) and why it's so prevalent in people with ADHD and will often be diagnosed as an anxiety disorder. The advice given is really good and can actually also be useful to people with anxiety disorders, when a situation becomes too much the best thing to do is to take a step back and reframe. I do love that the author doesn't promise a cure (there isn't one) or miracles, he just gives tools that worked for him or other people with RSD. You can't get rid of RSD, but you can learn how to live with it and how to make your life better. The part about the workplace was the best one imo, workplace relationships are the trickiest for me
This book was very relatable! I struggle with RSD as part of my ADHD and found myself nodding along and saying "yep, yep!" at multiple parts. Also, "ten highly caffeinated squirrels running around my brain" is exactly how I would describe my brain too!
RSD is not new to me; it's something I learnt about a long time ago when I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. Over the years my RSD has greatly improved due to management strategies, however I do still struggle with it and I did appreciate the strategies laid out in the book. I think they will be beneficial to many ADHDers. Personally I would have preferred if they were in a separate section rather than interspersed throughout the book, just for ease of finding them.
I especially liked that the author include a small section and some strategies for ADHD parents with RSD, of ADHD children with RSD. The challenges of being a neurodivergent (ND) parent of an ND child are not discussed enough and many self-help books leave this out.
The book does have a lot of personal anecdotes in, which I liked as I found many of them relatable. However, those who don't like personal anecdotes in their self-help books may not appreciate this.
Overall, I thought this was a great exploration of RSD that really explains how debilitating it can be. It also does a good job of providing clear and useful strategies in an accessible way. I think this book will resonate with a great deal of ADHDers!
Thank you to Netgalley, the publisher and the author for the ARC in exchange for an honest review
Why Does Everybody Hate Me? puts language to a feeling many people recognize but rarely articulate: the intense emotional reaction to perceived rejection. Alex Partridge’s voice is candid, funny, and disarming, and his personal stories make the concept of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria feel accessible rather than clinical. I appreciated how often the book made me stop and think, oh wow, that’s me.
That said, the book is light on structure and depth, sometimes reading more like a collection of relatable anecdotes than a fully developed guide. While comforting and validating — especially for readers new to RSD or ADHD — it may feel a bit surface-level for those already familiar with the topic. Still, it’s an engaging, affirming read that succeeds at making people feel less alone, which goes a long way.
Thanks Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!
I appreciated the passion and vulnerability that went into writing this book. It was definitely a great introductory read on RSD. I gave it 3.5 stars because the book was very repetitive, and I found myself skimming to get to new information and/or strategies. The book could have been quite a bit shorter. It also would have been helpful to include graphs and some pictures or illustrations to break things up throughout.
Overall, it was an interesting read, and I learned a bit about myself and others in my life.
This book is a must-read for anyone who has ADHD, loves someone with ADHD, parents someone with ADHD, or simply knows someone with ADHD. Actually, this book is just a must-read for anyone. RSD is a very real but very misunderstood aspect of ADHD and other neurotypical disorders, and learning how to manage it (or support those who struggle with it) can be life-changing or even life-saving.
Alex's book provides a great explainer for those not familiar with RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) as well as for those who've never realized there's a name and explanation for the feelings many ADHD'ers struggle with (myself included).
Thanks to NetGalley and John Murray Press US/Sheldon Press for the ARC edition of this book.
It's funny that this book is targeted at ADHD, because this book basically does not get to the damn point. It sketches out loads and loads of hypothetical situations and barely gives any advice on how to actually cope. Some might find it nice to have that material, but it's just not for me.