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Why Does Everybody Hate Me?: Living and Loving with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria
Your boss asked you for a chat, and you just knew you were going to be fired
You didn't sleep all weekend, and you weren't fired
Someone answered your message with a thumbs-up emoji and you just knew they hated you.
So you stopped talking to them, they eventually stopped texting, and now you miss them like crazy
Someone went for a bathroom break mid-film, and you just knew it's because they think your taste in films is terrible
You were so upset you missed the rest of the film, and they left early
Rejection is physically painful for you. Even the most minor criticism stings. And why wouldn't it? By the time you were 12, you'd received 20,000 negative messages about yourself, your brain and your unique ADHD way of living life.
20,000.
Alex Partridge knows how it feels to live with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), the state of emotional dysregulation experienced by almost everyone with ADHD. Throughout his journey from successful entrepreneur to neurodiversity campaigner and host of the hugely successful ADHD Chatter, Alex has been haunted by the fear of rejection, labelled 'over-sensitive', and fought constantly against the desire to people-please and protect himself from emotional harm.
In Why Does Everybody Hate Me? Alex draws on his own experience of RSD, and shares how it's coloured every aspect of his life, from his days as founder of the global social media content brands UniLad and LadBible, to his adult relationships, his mental health struggles and his terrible imposter syndrome. He'll use the insights he's gained from the world's top experts on ADHD to share with you some simple steps to regaining your boundaries, your confidence and your self-belief.
You are not 'too sensitive' - nor are you broken. You were always enough.
You didn't sleep all weekend, and you weren't fired
Someone answered your message with a thumbs-up emoji and you just knew they hated you.
So you stopped talking to them, they eventually stopped texting, and now you miss them like crazy
Someone went for a bathroom break mid-film, and you just knew it's because they think your taste in films is terrible
You were so upset you missed the rest of the film, and they left early
Rejection is physically painful for you. Even the most minor criticism stings. And why wouldn't it? By the time you were 12, you'd received 20,000 negative messages about yourself, your brain and your unique ADHD way of living life.
20,000.
Alex Partridge knows how it feels to live with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), the state of emotional dysregulation experienced by almost everyone with ADHD. Throughout his journey from successful entrepreneur to neurodiversity campaigner and host of the hugely successful ADHD Chatter, Alex has been haunted by the fear of rejection, labelled 'over-sensitive', and fought constantly against the desire to people-please and protect himself from emotional harm.
In Why Does Everybody Hate Me? Alex draws on his own experience of RSD, and shares how it's coloured every aspect of his life, from his days as founder of the global social media content brands UniLad and LadBible, to his adult relationships, his mental health struggles and his terrible imposter syndrome. He'll use the insights he's gained from the world's top experts on ADHD to share with you some simple steps to regaining your boundaries, your confidence and your self-belief.
You are not 'too sensitive' - nor are you broken. You were always enough.
256 pages, Paperback
Published March 24, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 116 reviews
April 2, 2026
I wanted to like this, but alas...
To reject a book written by someone who has rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) seems cruel, but I had so many bones to pick while reading this.
For me, a large part of the issue with this book was its genre classification and framing. I fully respect Alex Partridge telling his story of ADHD and RSD, but I genuinely wish it was framed as such; his story. Instead, this seems to have been written more as a book defining RSD as an informative guide to what RSD is and how to manage it, which felt overstated. I think if it were written as a memoir, this would have earned a 3 or 4-star rating from my perspective.
For one, there are sweeping generalizations stated as fact, and entirely without citations. Oof, this was a big issue for me. There are some general little factoids about the ADHD brain, but without citations, it's really difficult to contextualize them.
There are countless "you" statements that really should have been "I" statements. For example, "you prioritize the approval of others. In your desperation to avoid uncomfortable conversations, you end up damaging the relationships that matter to you. You put distance between you--" and so on and so forth. This is just one snippet, but defining someone else's experience, even if they have the same clinical diagnosis as the author, like this, should be avoided.
The author also states that people with RSD know they have it because "they identify with and accept it. [...] They know that the RSD concept is valid because it matches their lived experience exactly." This is a troublesome perspective to take in psychiatry, and providing an overview of diagnostic criteria would have been more useful here. OCD, for example, is another psychiatric disorder that has been damaged by people simply claiming that they have it because they were related to a snippet they heard about it.
Of note, the author was diagnosed with ADHD at 34 years old. I wish there were some acknowledgment made to the possibility that there are systematic differences in how ADHD manifests in those who are diagnosed as children versus adults. The “STOP” strategy was also brought up, but only the “S” and “T” steps were actually defined, which limits the usefulness. Maybe this was just an oversight?
Another big thing is the repetition throughout the book. I am not joking when I say the statement that children with ADHD hear 20,000 more negative comments in childhood was repeated 19 times in this short book. And by the way, that statement is not even from a paper or study, but rather just an observation from Dodson's clinical practice. "Burting into tears" was also stated 14 different times throughout. That's a lot of tears. There are many other repetitive statements and sentiments throughout, but these were the two that really ground my gears.
Part of my low rating was also the aversiveness I felt toward the arrogance in many sections. For example, “Even when I only gave 50% effort towards a task, it was better than most people’s 100%.” And “people with RSD are the world’s best problem-solvers” as well as being “the most empathetic.” I also wish that some of the advice was more focused on inwards work, such as improving one’s own emotion regulation, rather than the heavy reliance on expecting friends, family, and coworkers to create a list of compliments to have on hand to help soothe someone with RSD (this was a real a tip repeated through the book).
Does it get better? Yes. I am happy that I fought through the urge to DNF at 25% because it did slowly get better, and I enjoyed reading the examples from others with the disorder. A few of the author's analogies were really well stated, such as describing rejection as a slap on the back for a neurotypical individual, while for someone struggling with RSD, it's more like a slap on the back with a bad sunburn. There is also some good advice in here for just about any reader, such as learning to say "Can I let you know tomorrow?" instead of a knee-jerk "Yes" that ends up getting many of us into cycles of being over-committed to tasks that we don't actually want to be roped into. There was also the very helpful advice to know when to leave a situation before it escalates, and to understand that people are allowed to reject a part of you without rejecting you as a whole. I also appreciated that the book was organized into short, digestible sections.
I would like to state that, while I was initially very excited about this book, I quickly realized I was far from the target audience. I work in the field of clinical neuroscience and received my PhD studying neuromarkers of ADHD, so I'm coming at this from a scientific perspective rather than from lived experience with RSD. That said, I do think more caution should have been exercised in writing this book to avoid presenting lived experience as a fact about a clinical population.
Thank you, NetGalley and John Murray Press, for the opportunity to read an advanced reader's copy in exchange for my honest opinions.
To reject a book written by someone who has rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) seems cruel, but I had so many bones to pick while reading this.
For me, a large part of the issue with this book was its genre classification and framing. I fully respect Alex Partridge telling his story of ADHD and RSD, but I genuinely wish it was framed as such; his story. Instead, this seems to have been written more as a book defining RSD as an informative guide to what RSD is and how to manage it, which felt overstated. I think if it were written as a memoir, this would have earned a 3 or 4-star rating from my perspective.
For one, there are sweeping generalizations stated as fact, and entirely without citations. Oof, this was a big issue for me. There are some general little factoids about the ADHD brain, but without citations, it's really difficult to contextualize them.
There are countless "you" statements that really should have been "I" statements. For example, "you prioritize the approval of others. In your desperation to avoid uncomfortable conversations, you end up damaging the relationships that matter to you. You put distance between you--" and so on and so forth. This is just one snippet, but defining someone else's experience, even if they have the same clinical diagnosis as the author, like this, should be avoided.
The author also states that people with RSD know they have it because "they identify with and accept it. [...] They know that the RSD concept is valid because it matches their lived experience exactly." This is a troublesome perspective to take in psychiatry, and providing an overview of diagnostic criteria would have been more useful here. OCD, for example, is another psychiatric disorder that has been damaged by people simply claiming that they have it because they were related to a snippet they heard about it.
Of note, the author was diagnosed with ADHD at 34 years old. I wish there were some acknowledgment made to the possibility that there are systematic differences in how ADHD manifests in those who are diagnosed as children versus adults. The “STOP” strategy was also brought up, but only the “S” and “T” steps were actually defined, which limits the usefulness. Maybe this was just an oversight?
Another big thing is the repetition throughout the book. I am not joking when I say the statement that children with ADHD hear 20,000 more negative comments in childhood was repeated 19 times in this short book. And by the way, that statement is not even from a paper or study, but rather just an observation from Dodson's clinical practice. "Burting into tears" was also stated 14 different times throughout. That's a lot of tears. There are many other repetitive statements and sentiments throughout, but these were the two that really ground my gears.
Part of my low rating was also the aversiveness I felt toward the arrogance in many sections. For example, “Even when I only gave 50% effort towards a task, it was better than most people’s 100%.” And “people with RSD are the world’s best problem-solvers” as well as being “the most empathetic.” I also wish that some of the advice was more focused on inwards work, such as improving one’s own emotion regulation, rather than the heavy reliance on expecting friends, family, and coworkers to create a list of compliments to have on hand to help soothe someone with RSD (this was a real a tip repeated through the book).
Does it get better? Yes. I am happy that I fought through the urge to DNF at 25% because it did slowly get better, and I enjoyed reading the examples from others with the disorder. A few of the author's analogies were really well stated, such as describing rejection as a slap on the back for a neurotypical individual, while for someone struggling with RSD, it's more like a slap on the back with a bad sunburn. There is also some good advice in here for just about any reader, such as learning to say "Can I let you know tomorrow?" instead of a knee-jerk "Yes" that ends up getting many of us into cycles of being over-committed to tasks that we don't actually want to be roped into. There was also the very helpful advice to know when to leave a situation before it escalates, and to understand that people are allowed to reject a part of you without rejecting you as a whole. I also appreciated that the book was organized into short, digestible sections.
I would like to state that, while I was initially very excited about this book, I quickly realized I was far from the target audience. I work in the field of clinical neuroscience and received my PhD studying neuromarkers of ADHD, so I'm coming at this from a scientific perspective rather than from lived experience with RSD. That said, I do think more caution should have been exercised in writing this book to avoid presenting lived experience as a fact about a clinical population.
Thank you, NetGalley and John Murray Press, for the opportunity to read an advanced reader's copy in exchange for my honest opinions.
January 19, 2026
I found this nonfiction book to be incredibly eye opening! It really did capture my attention right at the very beginning. Before reading this book, I had not heard of RSD and what it was. I can relate to a lot of the symptoms it has. I always seem to think the worst of everything. RSD stands for the term Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. It’s for people who are always called sensitive, which is me! Furthermore, RSD is an intense emotional pain tied to actual or perceived rejection/criticism, which is discussed in ADHD patients.
This book made me have a broader understanding of RSD and its symptoms. I felt hopeful, not alone and optimistic while reading this book. It was very well written, easy to read and came with tools for people that do have RSD. I highly recommend reading this book! I will be purchasing the physical copy of this book when it is released. Overall, I give this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars!
Thank you to NetGalley, author Alex Partridge, John Murray Press US and Sheldon Press for this eARC in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.
This book is expected to be released on March 24, 2026!
This book made me have a broader understanding of RSD and its symptoms. I felt hopeful, not alone and optimistic while reading this book. It was very well written, easy to read and came with tools for people that do have RSD. I highly recommend reading this book! I will be purchasing the physical copy of this book when it is released. Overall, I give this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars!
Thank you to NetGalley, author Alex Partridge, John Murray Press US and Sheldon Press for this eARC in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.
This book is expected to be released on March 24, 2026!
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is not easy to discuss. Research into the subject is still quite new and it's difficult to describe to someone who has never experienced it.
I was diagnosed AuDHD in my late 30s. From childhood I was told I had low self esteem, low self confidence and anxiety. I overreacted to things, I was too sensitive, I blew things out of proportion. I would take 30 minutes to write an email beside I was worried about getting the tone right. I thought a friend hated me because they didn't hug me goodbye once.
I saw multiple counselors, tried different types of therapy, and ultimately felt broken because nothing worked. Turns out it was RSD. Learning that helped so much because I could learn to reframe it.
I can't emphasise how different reject sensitivity is to reject sensitivity dysphoria.
My problem with this book is that it can't articulate that difference either. There's a lot of repetition and story telling because it's trying really hard to show how different it is. I understand this especially since RSD is frequently invalidated but it makes the book bloated and often difficult to read.
I do think it could have been shorter and more balanced between explanation and practical advice but I'm glad that it exists. I'm hopeful that it will spark further discussion and research into RSD.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC
I was diagnosed AuDHD in my late 30s. From childhood I was told I had low self esteem, low self confidence and anxiety. I overreacted to things, I was too sensitive, I blew things out of proportion. I would take 30 minutes to write an email beside I was worried about getting the tone right. I thought a friend hated me because they didn't hug me goodbye once.
I saw multiple counselors, tried different types of therapy, and ultimately felt broken because nothing worked. Turns out it was RSD. Learning that helped so much because I could learn to reframe it.
I can't emphasise how different reject sensitivity is to reject sensitivity dysphoria.
My problem with this book is that it can't articulate that difference either. There's a lot of repetition and story telling because it's trying really hard to show how different it is. I understand this especially since RSD is frequently invalidated but it makes the book bloated and often difficult to read.
I do think it could have been shorter and more balanced between explanation and practical advice but I'm glad that it exists. I'm hopeful that it will spark further discussion and research into RSD.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC
April 22, 2026
One of those self-help books that could've been a pamphlet. The author oscilates between characterizing people with RSD as incompetent babies and as perfect prodigies who can't do anything wrong and are just victims of the big bad world. It's pseudo-scientific, anecdotal, and the actual advice doesn't go beyond "be kind to yourself" and "realize most things aren't personal", which, yeah duh. If this had been advertised as a memoir or a series of (mediocre) essays I might be more generous, but I was extremely annoyed throughout.
April 30, 2026
I’m probably unusual in not receiving this book for free from Netgalley. I pre-ordered it in January while I was reading the excellent Now It All Makes Sense: How an ADHD Diagnosis Brought Clarity to My Life because what the author said about RSD at the time felt rather like somebody handing me the cheat code to my life’s story. I won’t bore you with that story now, except to suggest you’ve not really experienced the full joy of RSD until you’ve tried it in the armed forces of the 1990s for half your life.
As a result, although I’m probably defined by a history of RSD, I’ve also (through necessity) learned to keep my own behaviour very much under control. The outbursts, tantrums and explosions described in this book aren’t necessarily common to all ADHD or RSD brains - they’re just the unrestrained reactions of people who haven’t fully grasped that all behaviour is a choice.
This is a good book, let down by massive one-size-fits-all assertions. For example, despite being an inveterate people pleaser, I never once worked late on my homework, because, despite my dread of being in trouble at school, I simply lacked the executive function to ever do any.
I absolutely agree that RSD is best categorised as the kind of persistent certainty that everyone you interact with dislikes you, wishes you weren’t there, and quietly rolls their eyes whenever you enter their sight line. That even your closest friends only tolerate you because they’re too nice to be honest, and that you’re only ever one phone call away from being fired. But I can’t subscribe to the author’s claim that RSD is the “worst” aspect of everybody’s ADHD symptoms. RSD cost me 2 good jobs and probably a marriage but I’d take the pain of RSD ten times over, when compared to the constant, crushing drag of unanswerable limerence.
Oh, and I think there’s also probably a missed opportunity in not discussing the detrimental effects of RSD on a healthy sex life. I can’t believe none of the thousands of correspondents ever went there.
As a result, although I’m probably defined by a history of RSD, I’ve also (through necessity) learned to keep my own behaviour very much under control. The outbursts, tantrums and explosions described in this book aren’t necessarily common to all ADHD or RSD brains - they’re just the unrestrained reactions of people who haven’t fully grasped that all behaviour is a choice.
This is a good book, let down by massive one-size-fits-all assertions. For example, despite being an inveterate people pleaser, I never once worked late on my homework, because, despite my dread of being in trouble at school, I simply lacked the executive function to ever do any.
I absolutely agree that RSD is best categorised as the kind of persistent certainty that everyone you interact with dislikes you, wishes you weren’t there, and quietly rolls their eyes whenever you enter their sight line. That even your closest friends only tolerate you because they’re too nice to be honest, and that you’re only ever one phone call away from being fired. But I can’t subscribe to the author’s claim that RSD is the “worst” aspect of everybody’s ADHD symptoms. RSD cost me 2 good jobs and probably a marriage but I’d take the pain of RSD ten times over, when compared to the constant, crushing drag of unanswerable limerence.
Oh, and I think there’s also probably a missed opportunity in not discussing the detrimental effects of RSD on a healthy sex life. I can’t believe none of the thousands of correspondents ever went there.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you Netgalley for this earc. All opinions are my own.
What a wonderful book. Alex had one of my favourite Instagram accounts on Instagram and he has helped me understand a lot about myself already. This book added so much to all of his videos.
It is nicely structured, kept my attention easily (no small feat, seeing I am the target audience), and felt really personal.
I admire Alex' vulnerability, and how every story will help his audience feel better about themselves. Gifting this book to someone else will definitely tell them you value them!
What a wonderful book. Alex had one of my favourite Instagram accounts on Instagram and he has helped me understand a lot about myself already. This book added so much to all of his videos.
It is nicely structured, kept my attention easily (no small feat, seeing I am the target audience), and felt really personal.
I admire Alex' vulnerability, and how every story will help his audience feel better about themselves. Gifting this book to someone else will definitely tell them you value them!
Did Not Finish
April 11, 2026Many parts of this really hit home (low self-esteem, hypersensitive to criticism, always assuming others only tolerate me, etc) but the author associates it with ADHD which I don’t think I have. So, in a bit of delicious irony, I gave up on the book because I felt rejected for not being crazy enough. I hope you’re satisfied, Partridge!
March 20, 2026
I absolutely loved this book — a complete 5-star read for me.
Thank you so much to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me to read this, because honestly, it has been incredibly validating. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been told I’m “too sensitive,” “too lazy,” or just “too much,” and I’ve carried that with me my entire life. Reading this book felt like someone had finally put my exact thoughts and feelings into words.
Every single page resonated deeply. The way it explains interactions with others, the constant overthinking, and that persistent feeling of “have I done something wrong?” hit so close to home. I’ve always found myself replaying conversations in my head or worrying that people secretly dislike me — even those closest to me. This book made me realise that these feelings aren’t just me being overly sensitive; they’re part of something real and valid.
The sections on rejection and people-pleasing especially stood out. Feeling left out, not knowing what to say in group situations, or taking things to heart when plans don’t include you — these are experiences I’ve always struggled with and blamed myself for. It was honestly such a relief to see them acknowledged and explained in a way that made sense.
More than anything, this book made me feel seen. It reassured me that I’m not “too much” — I’m just someone who experiences things deeply, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I would highly recommend this to anyone who has ever felt misunderstood, overly sensitive, or like they’re constantly second-guessing themselves. It’s comforting, eye-opening, and incredibly validating.
Thank you so much to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me to read this, because honestly, it has been incredibly validating. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been told I’m “too sensitive,” “too lazy,” or just “too much,” and I’ve carried that with me my entire life. Reading this book felt like someone had finally put my exact thoughts and feelings into words.
Every single page resonated deeply. The way it explains interactions with others, the constant overthinking, and that persistent feeling of “have I done something wrong?” hit so close to home. I’ve always found myself replaying conversations in my head or worrying that people secretly dislike me — even those closest to me. This book made me realise that these feelings aren’t just me being overly sensitive; they’re part of something real and valid.
The sections on rejection and people-pleasing especially stood out. Feeling left out, not knowing what to say in group situations, or taking things to heart when plans don’t include you — these are experiences I’ve always struggled with and blamed myself for. It was honestly such a relief to see them acknowledged and explained in a way that made sense.
More than anything, this book made me feel seen. It reassured me that I’m not “too much” — I’m just someone who experiences things deeply, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I would highly recommend this to anyone who has ever felt misunderstood, overly sensitive, or like they’re constantly second-guessing themselves. It’s comforting, eye-opening, and incredibly validating.
Read
April 5, 2026Whew! Ok so much to say here. This book was completely frustrating for me until the last chapter. As an RSD-haver, and a therapist who specializes in ADHD, this information was not completely new to me. This book would be a good jumping off point for anyone just learning about RSD and how it shows up for them. I love Alex’s podcast and was looking forward to reading this as RSD is such a new concept.
What frustrated me was how much sounded like severe anxiety, trauma, severe anxious attachment and people who have learned no coping skills. That’s not to say that RSD isn’t real, it very much is, but many of the personal examples of the author or other people, were deeply rooted in the trauma that understandably comes with growing up as a neurodivergent child and all the criticism you receive. It reaffirmed the importance of people getting professional support to learn how to cope and how to build their self worth to not let RSD control your every move.
I finally exhaled when I reached the last chapter when Alex acknowledges that RSD dies when self respect grows. Yes!!! Yes. That’s what I was screaming to myself throughout the rest of the book. “A person who truly respects themselves is resilient to criticism because they know their worth; they don’t hold the opinions of others over that sense of belief” YES. We need to learn how to cope, take agency of our behaviors and evolve beyond acting as the traumatized or rejected child we used to be.
I noted down a few helpful strategies which I will use for myself and my clients. And now I can’t wait to unpack my feelings about this book with my therapist haha
What frustrated me was how much sounded like severe anxiety, trauma, severe anxious attachment and people who have learned no coping skills. That’s not to say that RSD isn’t real, it very much is, but many of the personal examples of the author or other people, were deeply rooted in the trauma that understandably comes with growing up as a neurodivergent child and all the criticism you receive. It reaffirmed the importance of people getting professional support to learn how to cope and how to build their self worth to not let RSD control your every move.
I finally exhaled when I reached the last chapter when Alex acknowledges that RSD dies when self respect grows. Yes!!! Yes. That’s what I was screaming to myself throughout the rest of the book. “A person who truly respects themselves is resilient to criticism because they know their worth; they don’t hold the opinions of others over that sense of belief” YES. We need to learn how to cope, take agency of our behaviors and evolve beyond acting as the traumatized or rejected child we used to be.
I noted down a few helpful strategies which I will use for myself and my clients. And now I can’t wait to unpack my feelings about this book with my therapist haha
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I follow Alex on social media so his views and knowledge on ADHD aren't quite new. And this is the exact reason I wanted to read his book because his social media posts have always been spot on descriptions of my own life. He actually contributed quite a bit of me filling in an ADHD questionnaire at work, and low and behold...my score went through the roof.
This book is a next level personal attack 😁 I started wondering if he has been living with me, observing me, I just haven't noticed it yet. I love his analytical mind, breaking down everyday situations and explaining them from the ADHD/RSD perspective. It certainly explained a lot of things from my 40 something years, when I just couldn't understand why I didn't fit in and thought that there was something wrong with me. Well, it turns out, there is, but it's normal 😊
I highly recommend this book, it's entertaining, it' funny, it's educational, it's reflective. It reminds me of Dean Burnette's The Idiot Brain.
Thank you NetGalley and Alex for the ARC, great book!
This book is a next level personal attack 😁 I started wondering if he has been living with me, observing me, I just haven't noticed it yet. I love his analytical mind, breaking down everyday situations and explaining them from the ADHD/RSD perspective. It certainly explained a lot of things from my 40 something years, when I just couldn't understand why I didn't fit in and thought that there was something wrong with me. Well, it turns out, there is, but it's normal 😊
I highly recommend this book, it's entertaining, it' funny, it's educational, it's reflective. It reminds me of Dean Burnette's The Idiot Brain.
Thank you NetGalley and Alex for the ARC, great book!
Read
March 25, 2026I picked this up because the title alone felt a little too relatable, and honestly, parts of it really hit. There were moments where it put words to feelings I’ve struggled to explain - especially around rejection sensitivity - and that kind of validation is powerful. It made me feel a little less alone and a little more understood, which is always a win.
That said, I had kind of a mixed experience overall. A lot of the insights were helpful, but not necessarily new if you’ve already spent time reading about ADHD or RSD. I kept waiting for something that would feel like a real “aha” or give me a concrete way to handle things differently, and I’m not sure I fully got there.
Some of the advice also felt easier said than done. I understand there’s no magic fix (and the book doesn’t pretend there is), but I did wish for more practical, in-the-moment tools, especially for the spiral-y thoughts this kind of sensitivity can trigger.
Still, I’d absolutely recommend it to someone who’s just starting to understand their brain in this way, or even to partners/friends who want a better window into it. It’s a quick, validating read—even if it didn’t completely change the game for me.
Thanks John Murray Press and Netgalley for the ARC!
That said, I had kind of a mixed experience overall. A lot of the insights were helpful, but not necessarily new if you’ve already spent time reading about ADHD or RSD. I kept waiting for something that would feel like a real “aha” or give me a concrete way to handle things differently, and I’m not sure I fully got there.
Some of the advice also felt easier said than done. I understand there’s no magic fix (and the book doesn’t pretend there is), but I did wish for more practical, in-the-moment tools, especially for the spiral-y thoughts this kind of sensitivity can trigger.
Still, I’d absolutely recommend it to someone who’s just starting to understand their brain in this way, or even to partners/friends who want a better window into it. It’s a quick, validating read—even if it didn’t completely change the game for me.
Thanks John Murray Press and Netgalley for the ARC!
June 10, 2026
Oh my I really needed this! Thoroughly enjoyed listening to this in Audible and really felt like he was describing me perfectly. Only thing that let it down was how many times Alex repeatedly referred to the early 20'000 criticisms! 5 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
April 14, 2026
Was a good way to understand myself and others. Will definitely take on some ways of coping with RSD
January 25, 2026
3.5 stars rounded up.
This book offers a much-needed and insightful look into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and the impact it can have, particularly for people with ADHD. It does an excellent job of helping readers understand why we react the way we do, identify our triggers, and feel less alone in those experiences. I found the content extremely validating, and I appreciated the practical strategies provided that readers can begin to apply in their own lives.
The personal anecdotes were a standout and felt very relatable, adding warmth and authenticity to the material.
That said, the book was extremely repetitive at times, which made it difficult to maintain focus—somewhat ironic given that it’s written for an ADHD audience. While the repetition may be helpful for some readers, it occasionally detracted from the overall reading experience for me.
Overall, this is a helpful and affirming resource for anyone seeking to better understand RSD, even if it could benefit from tighter editing.
Thanks to NetGalley for the e-Arc.
This book offers a much-needed and insightful look into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and the impact it can have, particularly for people with ADHD. It does an excellent job of helping readers understand why we react the way we do, identify our triggers, and feel less alone in those experiences. I found the content extremely validating, and I appreciated the practical strategies provided that readers can begin to apply in their own lives.
The personal anecdotes were a standout and felt very relatable, adding warmth and authenticity to the material.
That said, the book was extremely repetitive at times, which made it difficult to maintain focus—somewhat ironic given that it’s written for an ADHD audience. While the repetition may be helpful for some readers, it occasionally detracted from the overall reading experience for me.
Overall, this is a helpful and affirming resource for anyone seeking to better understand RSD, even if it could benefit from tighter editing.
Thanks to NetGalley for the e-Arc.
February 5, 2026
I struggled with this one ONLY because I related to it SO MUCH….only issue is I don’t have ADHD. I do have an anxiety disorder and saw myself in the majority of these scenarios. I don’t want to invalidate individuals that do have RSD and ADHD, however, I wish the author would go more in depth into how “normal” rejection sensitivity feels and how RSD feels. I did Google RSD because I am a mental health therapist and never heard of it before (it’s good to know these terms) and Google informed me that RSD can be felt with many other disorders other than ADHD.
Overall, I felt the book was relatable and informative in how debilitating the desperate need to be liked and accepted can really be.
Thank you NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review
Overall, I felt the book was relatable and informative in how debilitating the desperate need to be liked and accepted can really be.
Thank you NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review
May 10, 2026
I’m glad to have read this book, as it allowed me to realize that I’m not alone in my struggles. I felt seen and validated, although Partridge clearly has much greater struggles than I do.
Partridge often gives dubious advice, suggesting that a person ask for accommodations from everyone. Too often it seemed like he was making his burdens into the responsibility of others and I find that impractical/distasteful at best and a method for stirring up RSD incidents at worst. It also comes dangerously close to that obnoxious position that “ADHD is a superpower”. It’s not. We are all broken, just in different ways. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Trying to make yourself feel better while not taking accountability for yourself is not good.
It’s also fairly repetitive and, like most self help books, could be a great deal shorter.
Nevertheless, there were some good insights for those struggling with ADHD/RSD.
Partridge often gives dubious advice, suggesting that a person ask for accommodations from everyone. Too often it seemed like he was making his burdens into the responsibility of others and I find that impractical/distasteful at best and a method for stirring up RSD incidents at worst. It also comes dangerously close to that obnoxious position that “ADHD is a superpower”. It’s not. We are all broken, just in different ways. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Trying to make yourself feel better while not taking accountability for yourself is not good.
It’s also fairly repetitive and, like most self help books, could be a great deal shorter.
Nevertheless, there were some good insights for those struggling with ADHD/RSD.
June 7, 2026
After an especially tricky week facing a rollercoaster of emotions, I had a full on RSD breakdown this morning. Of course, the tears and the anger came, the heartbreak shot me straight back to past experiences where I’ve felt misunderstood and reacted with hatred towards myself.
So, grabbing this from the TBR pile beside my bed was the only way to make it through. Devouring this book at an incredible speed, it’s really helped me navigate my feelings today and has some brilliant takeaways which I will undoubtedly refer to as a strategy from here on out.
Worth a read if you or anyone you know experiences RSD or is neurodivergent.
So, grabbing this from the TBR pile beside my bed was the only way to make it through. Devouring this book at an incredible speed, it’s really helped me navigate my feelings today and has some brilliant takeaways which I will undoubtedly refer to as a strategy from here on out.
Worth a read if you or anyone you know experiences RSD or is neurodivergent.
March 25, 2026
Thank you to NetGalley and John Murray Press for the eARC.
I started reading Why Does Everybody Hate Me? early in the year because I wanted to set the tone for 2026. I’ve known I have ADHD for a while, but it always felt a little different for me. Something about the way I react to things never quite lined up with the typical explanations.
This book helped connect those dots.
Learning about rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) resonated with me more than I expected. It explained a lot about why certain situations feel so intense and why the fear of rejection can show up even when nothing has actually happened.
Since reading it, I’ve noticed a real shift in how I approach things. I’m an educator, and while I still sometimes worry about how I’ll be received, I’m better at pushing through that feeling instead of shutting down. Recently I took a big leap toward a goal I’d been nervous about, convinced the answer would be no—but instead my bosses loved that I initiated the conversation and gave me a big yes.
This book gave me clarity around ADHD and RSD in a way that felt validating and practical. I can absolutely see myself returning to it whenever I need a reminder not to let the fear of rejection hold me back.
I started reading Why Does Everybody Hate Me? early in the year because I wanted to set the tone for 2026. I’ve known I have ADHD for a while, but it always felt a little different for me. Something about the way I react to things never quite lined up with the typical explanations.
This book helped connect those dots.
Learning about rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) resonated with me more than I expected. It explained a lot about why certain situations feel so intense and why the fear of rejection can show up even when nothing has actually happened.
Since reading it, I’ve noticed a real shift in how I approach things. I’m an educator, and while I still sometimes worry about how I’ll be received, I’m better at pushing through that feeling instead of shutting down. Recently I took a big leap toward a goal I’d been nervous about, convinced the answer would be no—but instead my bosses loved that I initiated the conversation and gave me a big yes.
This book gave me clarity around ADHD and RSD in a way that felt validating and practical. I can absolutely see myself returning to it whenever I need a reminder not to let the fear of rejection hold me back.
June 14, 2026
Picked up this book after attending a talk by Alex Partridge (author) & Dr Alex George about ADHD a few months ago - it was really interesting to learn more about RSD!
The irony isn’t lost on me that the first few pages describe emotional regulation difficulties with ADHD… which I read mere hours after I’d been sobbing at the ending of iron flame LOL
The irony isn’t lost on me that the first few pages describe emotional regulation difficulties with ADHD… which I read mere hours after I’d been sobbing at the ending of iron flame LOL
March 29, 2026
This is a must read for anyone with ADHD or someone who simply wants to understand people with ADHD more.
I was aware of RSD knowing it to be an issue of mine, now I have the tools to help me going forward, to recognise what is real and what is RSD.
So much of this book resonated with me, to know there are many people feeling the same, takes a little bit of shame away.
I was aware of RSD knowing it to be an issue of mine, now I have the tools to help me going forward, to recognise what is real and what is RSD.
So much of this book resonated with me, to know there are many people feeling the same, takes a little bit of shame away.
April 18, 2026
If you’ve ever thought the phrase that makes up the title of this book, please, give it a read. It has opened my eyes to so many patterns that have affected my life in negative ways. It will be one I return to again and again.
April 5, 2026
If you or your loved one has ADHD, most likely she or he is suffering from RSD. RSD is the most difficult part of ADHD and the least recognized and researched. This book is a good starter to understand it better, be aware of it, and put concrete strategies in place to overcome the impact of RSD.
May 24, 2026
I was hoping this would help me better understand my child’s RSD, but there was a very short section on parent/child interaction. The book didn’t keep my attention and I really thought about not finishing it so many times.
April 2, 2026
Some good bits of info. Way too repetitive and prescriptive for me though. But in general it's informative.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
A real eye opener
May 28, 2026
This book pointed a mirror at me and articulated thoughts and feelings I’ve always had but never been able to make sense of or put into words. I need to re-listen at some point without the feelings of ‘is he talking directly to me? Is he in my brain?’
March 30, 2026
so thankful my mum bought me this. truly the therapy I needed to better understand the worst side effect of adhd. excited to check out Alex’s podcast
May 7, 2026
I was excited to read this book because I read the title and thought, yep that's me. But this book is not what it seems.
RSD is rejection sensitivity dysphoria, meaning you interpret some social interactions as rejection when they're not necessarily rejection. RSD is not a clinical diagnosis in the DSM at this time, so your provider is not going to diagnose you with it like depression or OCD. But it's a phenomena they might note that you experience.
Example: the teacher or boss who says, "can we talk?" Rejection isn't random, it's based on experience but it can turn something that's not a big deal into a big deal for you. I recently got a letter from my insurer and immediately went to "they're canceling my coverage" when it was actually approval for something. With RSD you panic over the small things because they might end up being big things.
The author is a social media influencer with an ADHD podcast, not a clinician, researcher, or credentialed expert in the field, and the book is full of unsubstantiated claims and personal stories. This is basically a memoir dressed up as self help.
This book may offer you some validation that your RSD experiences are real and not invisible,. But it's not a guide to managing or interpreting RSD.
Many of readers have had ADHD diagnoses for years or decades, while the author keeps reminding you that his own diagnosis is only three years old. A lot of what he presents as insight or “fact” is still new and novel to him and not necessarily accurate. What makes his ADHD so special? Nothing, he's rich (founder of unilad and ladbible networks) and has a platform to run his mouth about something he hyperfocused on. What makes him qualified to write a book about it? It doesn't. Apparently, "social media influencer" is the only qualification you need to write a book anymore. Not actual expertise as a field professional or academic credentials.
This book would have been more authentic with a premise like, “What I’ve Learned About RSD in Three Years of Hosting a Podcast.” He would have stayed in his lane, cited the clinicians he interviewed, and clearly separated his own experience from what experts told him. Instead, he writes like he's the authority.
There are many books on RSD by credentialed professionals who have research to support their claims. Your best bet is to start there.
I read the entire book despite the many frustrating and ridiculous claims and assertions I wanted to DNF so you don't have to.
Red flags in this book:
🚩 No citations, no bibliography, no clinical or research grounding.
This book makes a lot of broad claims about ADHD, rejection sensitivity, shame, perfectionism, burnout, and emotional dysregulation and NONE of them have ANY sourcing behind it. The “20,000 criticisms” line gets repeated over and over, but there's no citation to a study. Claims like “left unchecked, RSD can cause more damage to someone’s life than any of the executive functioning challenges that come with an ADHD brain” and “the most painful and most damaging thing about RSD is what comes immediately after the trigger, a feeling of immeasurable shame” are written without supporting evidence. No bibliography. No research trail. No reason to trust any of it as authority.
🚩 Memoir voice disguised as authority.
Because this book lacked sufficient research, it should've been written as a first person memoir because the author drags the reader through his own diagnosis, reactions, and interpretations, but frames them as "you" statements. As if these exact things happened to you, and you're expected to relate to and validate the author. Unfortunately, the author writing about RSD and ADHD to the reader as if he discovered them himself. This book would actually be more "credible" and reputable if he'd taken the time to cite sources for his claims.
🚩 Constant “we/you” generalizations from one person’s experience.
In addition to the lack of sourced claims, the author treats his personal reactions like universal truth, to which you're expected to relate. He writes things like ADHD people are “deep emotional communicators,” that “an uncomfortable conversation is always a confrontation,” that people with RSD “always defer to someone else’s opinions,” and that “their all-or-nothing dysregulated way of thinking doesn’t allow for nuance.” No, ADHD people do not all have the same RSD experiences that you do, and it gets repetitive and monotonous. He shouldn't be talking about “we” or “you,” in these cases only “I.”
🚩 RSD used as a dumping ground for anxiety, perfectionism, communication problems, burnout, people-pleasing, and emotional immaturity.
This is another problematic pattern in the book is that he attributes almost every challenging life experience into the RSD bucket. Catastrophizing after a “call me” text is treated like RSD when it can just as easily be anxiety. Researching vacation options until you burn out gets treated like RSD when it sounds more like emotional dysregulation, perfectionism, indecision, or executive dysfunction. Avoiding conversations, people-pleasing, not advocating for yourself, struggling with conflict, reading too much into tone, spiraling over a coworker saying “morning” coldly, even contract-signing disasters and alcohol abuse all get pulled into the same vague concept instead of separate issues they are. Not everything is RSD.
🚩 Generic self-help dressed up as RSD strategy.
The author tries to offer some “practical strategies,” but the advice is entry-level self-help blog articles. “Give your strong feelings a name.” “Remove yourself from the situation.” “Remind yourself how valuable you are.” “Look at a list of your achievements.” “Use affirmations.” 🤦 This isn't groundbreaking insight into RSD. This is recycled self-help filler. Same with “can I let you know tomorrow?” instead of saying yes right away. That is basic assertiveness training, not a major breakthrough.
🚩 Partner-management and reassurance-seeking framed like solutions.
This book's relationship advice boils down to teaching your partner how to manage you, reassure you, cushion things for you, and avoid triggering you. This advice is especially troubling. The book includes a script to tell your partner, “you know I have ADHD right? a big part of the ADHD experience is something called RSD…” goes on and on explaining why he may get angry or sad and why he needs extra reassurance. It's not healthy in a relationship to shift the burden of yourself regulation onto the other person. The same thing happens with the advice to say, “I’ve been triggered, I’ll be back in 30 minutes," which effectively abandons the other person mid-interaction and frames them as the cause.
🚩 Male privilege all through the dating, safety, and relationship examples.
I’m sure a lot of women with ADHD will read this book, and this is one of the most icky and offensive parts of it. The author writes from a male-privileged perspective and keeps exposing it without seeming to realize it. Example: “How many times have you wanted to say no at the end of a first date but you said yes because you didn’t want to offend the person?” For many women, the issue is not offending someone. It’s not knowing whether the person you say no to will respect that or violate your safety. 💀 Any woman, RSD or not, has fawned when the situation felt like it could become threatening. Same with his example about someone wanting to take a kiss further and RSD making you stay silent when a “normal” person would say “we should stop.” No. If only life were easy enough that “no” was respected. The author keeps framing rejection and boundaries like discomfort problems when, for women, they are often survival problems that have nothing to do with RSD.
🚩 Almost no awareness of women’s experience or gender roles.
As you might have guessed by now, the book almost completely omits how gender changes the entire picture. It tries to frame emotional labor, over-accommodating, softening yourself, staying agreeable, being the emotional outlet for others, struggling to set boundaries, navigating coercion, and appeasement for safety as RSD problems. That’s not some special RSD revelation. That’s everyday life for a lot of women.
The author keeps insisting his experience represents everyone else’s, but a privileged male perspective can’t explain women’s reality here. A more credible version of this book would have had a woman co-write it or at least challenge some of these blind spots.
Note: About a week before this book was published, he released an episode about “female ADHD” — not women’s ADHD — and it was just him and another male talking about women’s experiences. Apparently, he saw no problem repeating the same pattern of men excluding women from conversations about their own experiences.
🚩 Audience size and podcast comments treated like credibility.
The author keeps leaning on the idea that he's “spoken to 100,000 people” through the podcast. It may feel credible to him, but podcast and YouTube comments, DMs, and audience engagement don't equal research. That's not a study population, clinical work, or documented evidence.
🚩 Tone sliding into clinician / therapy voice without the qualifications to back it up.
The farther the book goes, the more the author starts sounding like a therapist guiding the reader through emotional healing. Page 44 is one of the clearest examples: “every time you listen to that voice, you’re validating its existence… you’re traveling back in time metaphorically putting your arms around yourself and whispering in your own ear, don’t listen to those 20,000 criticisms, you’re enough.” It would be more appropriate to frame it as "every time I listen to that voice, I'm validating its existence..." The spoon-feeding of his experience as gospel gets old.
RSD is rejection sensitivity dysphoria, meaning you interpret some social interactions as rejection when they're not necessarily rejection. RSD is not a clinical diagnosis in the DSM at this time, so your provider is not going to diagnose you with it like depression or OCD. But it's a phenomena they might note that you experience.
Example: the teacher or boss who says, "can we talk?" Rejection isn't random, it's based on experience but it can turn something that's not a big deal into a big deal for you. I recently got a letter from my insurer and immediately went to "they're canceling my coverage" when it was actually approval for something. With RSD you panic over the small things because they might end up being big things.
The author is a social media influencer with an ADHD podcast, not a clinician, researcher, or credentialed expert in the field, and the book is full of unsubstantiated claims and personal stories. This is basically a memoir dressed up as self help.
This book may offer you some validation that your RSD experiences are real and not invisible,. But it's not a guide to managing or interpreting RSD.
Many of readers have had ADHD diagnoses for years or decades, while the author keeps reminding you that his own diagnosis is only three years old. A lot of what he presents as insight or “fact” is still new and novel to him and not necessarily accurate. What makes his ADHD so special? Nothing, he's rich (founder of unilad and ladbible networks) and has a platform to run his mouth about something he hyperfocused on. What makes him qualified to write a book about it? It doesn't. Apparently, "social media influencer" is the only qualification you need to write a book anymore. Not actual expertise as a field professional or academic credentials.
This book would have been more authentic with a premise like, “What I’ve Learned About RSD in Three Years of Hosting a Podcast.” He would have stayed in his lane, cited the clinicians he interviewed, and clearly separated his own experience from what experts told him. Instead, he writes like he's the authority.
There are many books on RSD by credentialed professionals who have research to support their claims. Your best bet is to start there.
I read the entire book despite the many frustrating and ridiculous claims and assertions I wanted to DNF so you don't have to.
Red flags in this book:
🚩 No citations, no bibliography, no clinical or research grounding.
This book makes a lot of broad claims about ADHD, rejection sensitivity, shame, perfectionism, burnout, and emotional dysregulation and NONE of them have ANY sourcing behind it. The “20,000 criticisms” line gets repeated over and over, but there's no citation to a study. Claims like “left unchecked, RSD can cause more damage to someone’s life than any of the executive functioning challenges that come with an ADHD brain” and “the most painful and most damaging thing about RSD is what comes immediately after the trigger, a feeling of immeasurable shame” are written without supporting evidence. No bibliography. No research trail. No reason to trust any of it as authority.
🚩 Memoir voice disguised as authority.
Because this book lacked sufficient research, it should've been written as a first person memoir because the author drags the reader through his own diagnosis, reactions, and interpretations, but frames them as "you" statements. As if these exact things happened to you, and you're expected to relate to and validate the author. Unfortunately, the author writing about RSD and ADHD to the reader as if he discovered them himself. This book would actually be more "credible" and reputable if he'd taken the time to cite sources for his claims.
🚩 Constant “we/you” generalizations from one person’s experience.
In addition to the lack of sourced claims, the author treats his personal reactions like universal truth, to which you're expected to relate. He writes things like ADHD people are “deep emotional communicators,” that “an uncomfortable conversation is always a confrontation,” that people with RSD “always defer to someone else’s opinions,” and that “their all-or-nothing dysregulated way of thinking doesn’t allow for nuance.” No, ADHD people do not all have the same RSD experiences that you do, and it gets repetitive and monotonous. He shouldn't be talking about “we” or “you,” in these cases only “I.”
🚩 RSD used as a dumping ground for anxiety, perfectionism, communication problems, burnout, people-pleasing, and emotional immaturity.
This is another problematic pattern in the book is that he attributes almost every challenging life experience into the RSD bucket. Catastrophizing after a “call me” text is treated like RSD when it can just as easily be anxiety. Researching vacation options until you burn out gets treated like RSD when it sounds more like emotional dysregulation, perfectionism, indecision, or executive dysfunction. Avoiding conversations, people-pleasing, not advocating for yourself, struggling with conflict, reading too much into tone, spiraling over a coworker saying “morning” coldly, even contract-signing disasters and alcohol abuse all get pulled into the same vague concept instead of separate issues they are. Not everything is RSD.
🚩 Generic self-help dressed up as RSD strategy.
The author tries to offer some “practical strategies,” but the advice is entry-level self-help blog articles. “Give your strong feelings a name.” “Remove yourself from the situation.” “Remind yourself how valuable you are.” “Look at a list of your achievements.” “Use affirmations.” 🤦 This isn't groundbreaking insight into RSD. This is recycled self-help filler. Same with “can I let you know tomorrow?” instead of saying yes right away. That is basic assertiveness training, not a major breakthrough.
🚩 Partner-management and reassurance-seeking framed like solutions.
This book's relationship advice boils down to teaching your partner how to manage you, reassure you, cushion things for you, and avoid triggering you. This advice is especially troubling. The book includes a script to tell your partner, “you know I have ADHD right? a big part of the ADHD experience is something called RSD…” goes on and on explaining why he may get angry or sad and why he needs extra reassurance. It's not healthy in a relationship to shift the burden of yourself regulation onto the other person. The same thing happens with the advice to say, “I’ve been triggered, I’ll be back in 30 minutes," which effectively abandons the other person mid-interaction and frames them as the cause.
🚩 Male privilege all through the dating, safety, and relationship examples.
I’m sure a lot of women with ADHD will read this book, and this is one of the most icky and offensive parts of it. The author writes from a male-privileged perspective and keeps exposing it without seeming to realize it. Example: “How many times have you wanted to say no at the end of a first date but you said yes because you didn’t want to offend the person?” For many women, the issue is not offending someone. It’s not knowing whether the person you say no to will respect that or violate your safety. 💀 Any woman, RSD or not, has fawned when the situation felt like it could become threatening. Same with his example about someone wanting to take a kiss further and RSD making you stay silent when a “normal” person would say “we should stop.” No. If only life were easy enough that “no” was respected. The author keeps framing rejection and boundaries like discomfort problems when, for women, they are often survival problems that have nothing to do with RSD.
🚩 Almost no awareness of women’s experience or gender roles.
As you might have guessed by now, the book almost completely omits how gender changes the entire picture. It tries to frame emotional labor, over-accommodating, softening yourself, staying agreeable, being the emotional outlet for others, struggling to set boundaries, navigating coercion, and appeasement for safety as RSD problems. That’s not some special RSD revelation. That’s everyday life for a lot of women.
The author keeps insisting his experience represents everyone else’s, but a privileged male perspective can’t explain women’s reality here. A more credible version of this book would have had a woman co-write it or at least challenge some of these blind spots.
Note: About a week before this book was published, he released an episode about “female ADHD” — not women’s ADHD — and it was just him and another male talking about women’s experiences. Apparently, he saw no problem repeating the same pattern of men excluding women from conversations about their own experiences.
🚩 Audience size and podcast comments treated like credibility.
The author keeps leaning on the idea that he's “spoken to 100,000 people” through the podcast. It may feel credible to him, but podcast and YouTube comments, DMs, and audience engagement don't equal research. That's not a study population, clinical work, or documented evidence.
🚩 Tone sliding into clinician / therapy voice without the qualifications to back it up.
The farther the book goes, the more the author starts sounding like a therapist guiding the reader through emotional healing. Page 44 is one of the clearest examples: “every time you listen to that voice, you’re validating its existence… you’re traveling back in time metaphorically putting your arms around yourself and whispering in your own ear, don’t listen to those 20,000 criticisms, you’re enough.” It would be more appropriate to frame it as "every time I listen to that voice, I'm validating its existence..." The spoon-feeding of his experience as gospel gets old.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
DNF at 42%
It's funny that this book is targeted at ADHD, because this book basically does not get to the damn point. It sketches out loads and loads of hypothetical situations and barely gives any advice on how to actually cope. Some might find it nice to have that material, but it's just not for me.
It's funny that this book is targeted at ADHD, because this book basically does not get to the damn point. It sketches out loads and loads of hypothetical situations and barely gives any advice on how to actually cope. Some might find it nice to have that material, but it's just not for me.
May 23, 2026
I came across "Why Does Everybody Hate Me" on TikTok, and I was immediately drawn to the title. As someone who constantly felt the need to question whether I had upset someone, I was looking for answers. This book, however, seems to disappoint on that front.
First, its main focus is on RSD from an ADHD perspective, resulting in a story lacking any nuance. It's almost as if the underlying narrative reads: "We have ADHD, and we have RSD, so everything I write is true for all of us". This could be personal preference: I don't believe we should all get diagnosed as soon as we think we might be neurodivergent, and I strongly believe that neurodivergence is a natural occurrence. What I would have liked is a more nuanced view on RSD without the constant reminder that only people with ADHD suffer from this.
Next, Partridge truly understands the meaning of hyperbolic writing. From the 20,000 comments to the repetition of crying in the car, many of his anecdotes and stories are filled with hyperboles. I understand that authors do this to get their point across, but it left me disconnected from the book's message. Again, it gave me the feeling that only an extremely select group of people could recognise themselves in what he's saying, rather than a large audience who might have a very critical part in themselves that constantly judges their inner child.
My biggest complaint about the book is the childish and patronising way he talks about experiences and solutions. Sure, this might be an incorrect mindset I possess, but I feel that some of his advice tends to be on the dandelion side of life, expecting the RSD person's network to treat the person with RSD with silk gloves or like a newborn baby. This doesn't hold true for everything, though, and I underline the need for a mindful approach to what communication (both verbal and non-verbal) does to people. And yes, this approach includes communicating that a person might suffer from RSD. There's probably a middle ground somewhere.
There are, however, many parts of his narrative that I recognise, which is why I feel the book deserves at least some praise. It's nice to know that RSD exists and, based on my application of what he talks about in the book, that some people are more susceptible to criticism and non-verbal communication than others. The strongest part of the book was the final chapter, in which Partridge talks about things parents could do when they have a child who suffers from RSD. I think this is the reason why I'd recommend the book to everyone, as providing a safe space for a child to learn and grow will ultimately lead to them being able to handle their RSD properly when they grow up.
Partridge's book requires a filter. It might be my Dutch bluntness and sober-mindedness that influenced the way I read the book. Still, I do believe that there is more to learn out there about neurodivergence and that the term should be taken out of the realms of wokeness and into the real world, which is why this book should not be disregarded.
First, its main focus is on RSD from an ADHD perspective, resulting in a story lacking any nuance. It's almost as if the underlying narrative reads: "We have ADHD, and we have RSD, so everything I write is true for all of us". This could be personal preference: I don't believe we should all get diagnosed as soon as we think we might be neurodivergent, and I strongly believe that neurodivergence is a natural occurrence. What I would have liked is a more nuanced view on RSD without the constant reminder that only people with ADHD suffer from this.
Next, Partridge truly understands the meaning of hyperbolic writing. From the 20,000 comments to the repetition of crying in the car, many of his anecdotes and stories are filled with hyperboles. I understand that authors do this to get their point across, but it left me disconnected from the book's message. Again, it gave me the feeling that only an extremely select group of people could recognise themselves in what he's saying, rather than a large audience who might have a very critical part in themselves that constantly judges their inner child.
My biggest complaint about the book is the childish and patronising way he talks about experiences and solutions. Sure, this might be an incorrect mindset I possess, but I feel that some of his advice tends to be on the dandelion side of life, expecting the RSD person's network to treat the person with RSD with silk gloves or like a newborn baby. This doesn't hold true for everything, though, and I underline the need for a mindful approach to what communication (both verbal and non-verbal) does to people. And yes, this approach includes communicating that a person might suffer from RSD. There's probably a middle ground somewhere.
There are, however, many parts of his narrative that I recognise, which is why I feel the book deserves at least some praise. It's nice to know that RSD exists and, based on my application of what he talks about in the book, that some people are more susceptible to criticism and non-verbal communication than others. The strongest part of the book was the final chapter, in which Partridge talks about things parents could do when they have a child who suffers from RSD. I think this is the reason why I'd recommend the book to everyone, as providing a safe space for a child to learn and grow will ultimately lead to them being able to handle their RSD properly when they grow up.
Partridge's book requires a filter. It might be my Dutch bluntness and sober-mindedness that influenced the way I read the book. Still, I do believe that there is more to learn out there about neurodivergence and that the term should be taken out of the realms of wokeness and into the real world, which is why this book should not be disregarded.
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