'The eat-the-rich farce we need, from one of our funniest writers' Lit Hub
'Sly, propulsive and painfully hilarious family drama' Caro Claire Burke, author of YESTERYEAR
'Chicken-soup for the late capitalist soul' Steven Rowley, NYT bestselling author of LILY AND THE OCTOPUS
'Vivid, lacerating and funny' Carl Hiaasen, author of FEVER BEACH
'Witty, sharp, and tender, Alan Opts Out skewers late-stage capitalism and material ambition while keeping human hearts - a family of them - at its center' Rachel Khong, author of REAL AMERICANS
'A smart, funny, and all-too-timely tale of Americans on the edge of collapse . . . Maum delivers wry humor without sacrificing compassion' Elizabeth Gilbert
'A brilliant, hilarious referendum on the American obsession with more' Nathan Hill, author of THE NIX
After successful ad exec Alan Anderson bombs the biggest pitch of his career, he has an epiphany. His entire career has been about making people buy stuff that they don't need so they feel perpetually unsatisfied and less-than. After a lifetime of striving for capitalism, Alan is opting out.
He retires to the ridiculously extravagant playhouse in his family's suburban Connecticut garden (a classic example of something the Andersons didn't need), gives up showering, shoe-wearing, and purchases of all kinds. He might even read a book! This is all very upsetting for his wife Vivian, who is on the verge of being accepted into the insanely elite Queen's Anne Club - guaranteed to make all her insecurities disappear and her children popular.
But maybe everyone will want to buy what Alan's not selling? And, in losing his ambition, might he find what we're all looking for?
For anyone who has ever cared more about how it looked than how it felt, ALAN OPTS OUT is a hilarious take on consumerism, capitalism and wellness.
Courtney Maum is the author of the novels Costalegre (a GOOP book club pick and one of Glamour Magazine’s top books of the decade), I Am Having So Much Fun Here Without You and Touch (a New York Times Editor’s Choice and NPR Best Book of the Year selection), and the handbook Before and After the Book Deal: A writer’s guide to finishing, publishing, promoting, and surviving your first book, out now from Catapult. Her writing has been widely published in such outlets as the New York Times, O, the Oprah Magazine, and Poets & Writers. She is the founder of the collaborative retreat program, The Cabins, and she also has a writing-advice newsletter, “Get Published, Stay Published,” that you can sign up for at CourtneyMaum.com
Ad exec Alan and wife Vivian (née Valerie)—a compulsive shopper, manifester, and social climber—are movin' on up to exclusive Bellemont. Alan has known he'd be in the business of selling things his entire life—he's a natural and his ad company is a success. But what happens when his dairy pitch is commandeered by a farmer who doesn't actually want to sell more dairy? He learns that less is more!
Suddenly, he's moved into the giant playhouse in the yard, contemplating his life and wearing pirate blouses, much to the dismay of Vivian who's trying to become a Queen Anne and his daughters worried about his "menty b." But, soon the whole neighborhood is following his lead (he's THAT good!) and finding enjoyment in the simpler things.
What a funny and heartwarming story about discovering what really matters. Thanks to Little Brown and Company, via NetGalley, for this ARC!
this is one of the funniest books I have ever read 😭😭 rich people drama at its core but with a pet lobster?!
this follows alan, who just lost the biggest deal of his career, which causes him to completely SPIRAL. him and his family, live a very luxurious lifestyle so when he comes home and tells his wife that he lost a ton of money, her first thought is that she should hire men to build a pool in their backyard 😂 she's trying to get into the local country club with all the other rich ladies and thinks this will help her. however alan has quite literally decided to OPT OUT of life and is starting to make a fool of her while she's trying to impress herself to these women. he even starts living in the backyard because "less is more" and wants to live off the land now that his career is tanking.
while all of this is happening, their two kids are also disrupting everything she's trying to build at the country club. one of the daughters now thinks she can speak to animals, hence why she decided to steal a lobster and keep it as a pet 😂🦞
this whole book was so chaotic in the best way. I also loved that it takes place in a real town that's like 50 minutes from me, it made it feel so realistic
This review documents my real-time reading of Alan Opts Out by Courtney Maum. I received an advance copy through Goodreads Giveaways, so all quoted material is subject to change prior to publication. The book is slated for publication in June 2026. My goal is to read and review this book before its publication.
Real-time review will conclude with a final verdict on the book as a whole.
5/16/26—Pages 3-10 Book Blurb: An ad executive quits capitalism—and accidentally makes it fashionable.
The opening line uses deadpan satire to frame consumerism as a cultural crisis, blending comedy with social critique. It’s an effective hook that immediately establishes the novel’s absurdity.
Opening Scene: Alan is meeting Tucker, the dairy farmer selected as his campaign’s representative for US dairy.
“The penile shafts of the grain silos shining silver against the sky, the humped shapes of the milk cows in the distance, chewing, shitting, chewing; there was something primordial about the land here, something essential and pure and nearly monastic, and Alan was going to bottle it and share it with the world.”—CH.1 pg.4
The opening scene balances poetic reverence with blunt physical reality, and the contrast drives the comedy. However, the effect is short-lived due to an overwhelming amount of exposition (pg.5-9).
Here is where the narrative lost my interest due to its lack of focus.
“The whole thing left Alan fantasizing about the commercials his agency would direct when they won dairy…”—CH.1 pg.6
The scene delays Alan’s meeting with Tucker until page 6 (3 pages later!), only to reduce the encounter to a single sentence before returning to Alan’s inner dialogue, background, and other info dumps. Then the narrative abruptly shifts to Alan’s flight home without resolving the meeting.
On the flight home, more exposition is given, much of which seemed trivial beyond Alan’s fear of losing relevance and managing his energy as a man over fifty. Yet his age and insecurities clashed with his self-assured persona and youthful inner dialogue.
I was not impressed with the opening scene.
5/18/26—Pages 10-65 Dialogue Notes: Chapter 2 was basically a one-sided dialogue from Alan during his pitch meeting. The dialogue served more as exposition than real exchange. (Again, not a very grounded or balanced scene.)
On page 11, Alan’s dialogue used empathic spelling saying, “Verrrry dramatic” which I found jarring to read.
Later in Chapter 4 on page 24, ALL CAPS were used in dialogue.
And often, dialogue would end in “…” to indicate trailing thought:
“‘You asked him…Sunny, let’s be careful about the way we phrase things.’”—CH.4 pg.29
More repeated punctuation and empathic spelling created dialogue emphasis: “?!”— “!!”— “??!”— “Bigger. Picture. Thinking!”—"Yayyy”
These dialogue quirks felt like “text lingo” substituting for prose. A bit cringe, maybe fitting for the book’s unserious tone, but still a lazy way to convey attitude and emotion IMHO…
Oh. My. Word. Is it rubbing off on meeee??!
New Characters: The silliness continues while Alan’s wife, Vivian, is introduced listening to a motivational podcast.
“‘Dreaming is for losity-losers who sleep past six a.m. I want my strivers out there physically grabbing their damn goals.’ ‘I’m a grabber!’ Vivian cried, flushed with sudden triumph.”—CH.3 pg.15
It seems all the adults in this novel are cartoonishly performative.
Short chapters, long eye-rolls.
Vivian is an approval-seeking mother trying to belong in Belleport’s status-conscious world. Her teenage daughter, Bailey, pushes against her mother’s expectations and seems less interested in pleasing others. And then there’s the younger sister, Sunny.
“Sunny had always been an animal lover, but as of late, things were getting out of hand.”—CH.4 pg 27
Sunny is found talking to a raven in the middle of the school parking lot. Her strange introduction, though, is quickly overtaken by Vivian. Seemingly in denial that her daughter could be such a freak show, Vivian hurriedly shuffles the girls home, leaving little narrative spotlight to learn more about Sunny.
***Sunny has been the most interesting character to me so far. This gave me hope that perhaps the story would get more enjoyable. I was beginning to warm up to the writing style around this point (chapter 4).
Later, Alan arrives home from work after Vivian and the girls are home from school, giving us our first look at his dynamics with the family.
With his daughters, Alan feels “like strangers”—CH.5 pg.33, and with his wife, Alan lives by the motto “happy wife, happy life.”—CH.6 pg.41
In chapter 6 from page 36-39, we get Alan and Vivian’s backstory. I still don’t think all these backstories do much for the actual story. Though, Alan and Vivian’s backstory was the best one yet.
This is what their backstory accomplishes. Alan reflects on how Vivian transformed from a supportive partner into someone increasingly driven by status and social belonging, while their marriage shifts into tension between her aspirations and his insecurity to keep up with her.
None of what their backstory accomplished added anything new to their characterization aside from one minor detail: Vivian’s name used to be Valerie. She left the name behind as a symbolic way of leaving behind her past.
Inciting Incident: The storyline remained very linear. Chapters 1-9 only covered a single day (same day I think) from two perspectives, Alan and Vivian. Vivian’s inciting incident came first while Alan’s has yet to come.
On that same night when Alan gets home from work (chapter 6), Vivian reveals to her husband her inciting incident: a Queen Annes candidacy invitation.
Queen Annes is Belleport’s elite women, driven by status, tradition, and quiet social power.
Of course, Vivian is desperate to get accepted and is giddy with excitement. By contrast, Alan’s cautious reaction highlights their disconnect, ending their conversation—and the chapter—with Vivian dousing him in a perfume Alan hates: frankincense.
First Story Arc (Part One: April): The story began with Alan, but Vivian soon took the driver’s seat for the first arc of the story. The beginning was weak, but it gained momentum and finally captured me by chapter 8.
I was pleasantly surprised to finish Part One wanting to keep reading.
Though the story feels sloppy, I can see the appeal—not in its absurdity or "satire", but in its unique cast and secrets of the Queen Anne Club. I liked the little "twist" Vivian discovered after her inciting incident. That will make things interesting, I hope.
5/21/26—Pages 65-76 AMY OPTS OUT!
“‘Well, this is a waste of a Thursday,’ said the marketing director, sheathing his laptop.”—CH.11 pg.76
That was the last line I read from this novel. I agree. This is a waste of my Thursday.
DNF.
Chapter 10 Opening Scene (Part Two: May): Pitch day begins poorly for Alan as a series of frustrations and disruptions undermine his carefully controlled routine. While preparing to present O+A’s highly engineered milk campaign, Alan learns that Tucker Brannigan—the dairy farmer central to the pitch—is drunk…or something. Then comes Daniel Ellery, an unconventional “cowboy” as Tucker’s replacement.
*I noticed at this point a repeating “twist”. Replacing characters with other unconventional characters was interesting at first, but doing it twice failed my continued intrigue.
“What in the fuckity fuck of all the fucks was going on?”—CH.10 pg.67
From the blurb, we are told that this “anarchist farmer tanks Alan’s presentation to US dairy” which is why I don’t consider it a spoiler and am mentioning it my review.
Chapter 10 was about this disruption in the short span of 3 pages.
Chapter 11 rolls straight on from this, so why the new chapter?
Chapter 11 Opening Scene (continued): Chapter 11 follows O+A’s US dairy pitch as Alan attempts to manage the last-minute spokesperson change, only for Daniel Ellery to derail the presentation by condemning advertising and consumer culture, turning the carefully crafted campaign into a public clash over authenticity and excess.
“He wished the pitch were taking place a decade earlier when admen still did coke.”—CH.11 pg.70
*It made sense that this guy did coke.
“Behind jumbo espresso machines, waifish baristas dripped pour overs from on high as if it were the Arabian Peninsula in 600 CE instead of Abbot Kinney.”—CH.11 pg.72
*But it doesn’t make sense to use obscure cultural humor and think it will land.
Final Verdict: I had planned to read this book to its entirety (no matter how bad) but it really is that bad. Reading 258 more pages of this would be like swallowing a gallon of expired milk.
Choosing milk was a bad choice for this story. It was uninteresting, slandered vegans left and right, was used to make a few racial comments (with everyone in the room being white as milk), and was, frankly, a stupid execution.
I know I probably quit “right before it got good!”. But I’ve seen enough. This isn’t funny, the writing is very immature, and even if the story got better, it wouldn’t be worth reading. Judging by the cover with Alan walking a lobster on a leash, I’m afraid this story is going to try being funny using Sunny’s weird ability and other silly things to “impress” its audience. I’m sorry, but my 5-year-old nephew can come up with better stories on the spot.
This was my first real-time review and a bit of an experiment. I definitely need a tighter format next time. Thanks for reading all this if you came this far!
Don’t buy this book unless you still think fart jokes are funny!
I had such a good time reading this! A campy, satirical, whacky adventure about an advertising CEO “opting out” of consumerism and reevaluating his entire existence as his wife is trying to buy her way into a WASP-y upper class elite friend group.
Alan is a CEO of an advertisement company. He has a huge multi-million dollar advertisement presentation comping up to essentially….well….MAKE MILK GREAT AGAIN!!!! However, after a series of unfortunate events that don’t go according to plan he loses that deal and has, what his daughter refers to as, a “menty b” and “opts out” of capitalism and becomes one with nature again.
As this is happening, his wife, Vivian, is desperately trying to “Desperate Housewives” herself into an elite group of upper class woman in her neighborhood. No matter the cost. Literally.
They are new money and absolutely ridiculous and trying desperately to fit in and figure out what will make them happy in life. Are any of the characters really that likeable? Not really and also hell yes. (There’s also a daughter who talks to animals who kinda runs circles around everyone else in this book.)
I really enjoyed the world we were in and the writing style of the author. The pacing was perfect and I never felt like the story was dragging, I was engaged the entire time in the shenanigans.
At the end of the day this is a novel that does not take itself seriously intentionally. It is supposed to be absurd and ridiculous. But it does have a lot of heart in it and I was happy with the overall message.
I really ended up enjoying this and I hope you do too.
Thanks so much to Little, Brown and Co and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.
Fast-paced, witty, yet poignant—this novel has it all.
When an ad-exec decides to “opt out” of consumerism after a bad pitch, his wife (the very definition of consumerism) must try to hold their perfect life together lest the neighbors think anything is amiss. It’s laugh-out-loud funny at times, but I also found myself caring about every character—even the ones I loathed at the beginning. Maum is a fantastic writer, and I’ll read anything she puts out there.
Thank you to Net Galley and the publisher for an early copy of this book to read and review.
DNF at 13%. I wanted to make it to the actual “opt out” part, because that’s the whole reason I picked up the book, but I just can’t. I’m so bored and have no desire to keep going.
2.5/5. I was expecting the book to be more about alan actually opting out of traditional life (hence the title), and what he did hour to hour and the consequences of said actions on the relationships with his family. The book was like 20% of that and the rest was about Vivian and her housewife shenanigans with the fellow rich women of their town. I feel a little deceived by the description. There were some really funny moments, but if I wanted what the book supplied I would just force myself to finally finish Desperate Housewives (why is season 7 impossible to get through?!?)
Courtney Maum is the best at satire in my opinion. I’ve loved everything she’s written in that department and Alan Opts Out is another winner. Alan is a pro in the advertising world but when he experiences a constructed sort of epiphany, he says 🎶 bye bye bye 🎶 to consumerism. It’s funny and over the top in a way that almost matches real life these days lol. I loved it.
It takes a long time for Alan to opt out and frankly, Alan is not even really the main character in the story. Once he actually opts out the book is great. Some silly isolated incidents but struggles to commit to comedy or consumerism critique. Light read for the beach and silly moments, a less developed version of Lost Lambs
Thank you to Courtney Maum, Alyssa Flori, and Little, Brown and Company for the ARC!
Alan, a rich ad exec living in Greenwich, CT, goes through a "menty b" after losing possibly the biggest account of his career (US Dairy). An anticapitalist dairy farmer becomes the inspiration behind his next move — which is to stop going to work, move into the backyard playhouse, and live by the motto "less is more." His wife, Vivian, who can't let go of her current life of abundance and overconsumption, thinks he's gone batshit. It doesn't help that this occurs right around the same time as she becomes recruited to possibly join the elite women's club of their affluent neighborhood, the Queen Annes. Think Real Housewives of WASP-y Connecticut. While Alan walks the neighborhood barefoot, bathes in the bird bath, and fends off mosquitoes, Vivian is going to tablesetting classes and planning her end-of-summer bash meant to impress the queen bee of the Queen Annes.
The tension between these two worlds (existing on the same property) is palpable. Vivian's situation is particularly anxiety-inducing, what with the guerilla-style activities of the Queen Annes, the things she's keeping from Alan, and the pressure she feels to fit in. She's spiraling just like Alan, it just looks a little different.
I think what Courtney Maum does the best in "Alan Opts Out" is make unlikable characters likable. I don't normally need my characters to be likable, but at first, I was worried I would never sympathize with or root for them. That changed in the last third of the book.
I did like Sunny, one of Alan and Vivan's daughters, the whole time, though. She's hands down my favorite character. I don't want to spoil why, but she brings some magical realism into this white-picket-fence world that provides some levity.
Underneath the absurdity of the plot is a message I like, which is to think about what matters most — fitting in vs. cultivating authentic relationships, money vs. people, overconsumption vs. appreciating the little things. While that sums up what Alan talks about for most of the book, in my opinion, this message was muddled by what happens at the very end.
"Alan Opts Out" is funny and totally unexpected. Give it a shot when it comes out in June!
A real stinker. I disliked every member of this obnoxious family. Vivian, aka Valerie, is a shallow striver who cares more about cocktail sauce than her own family. The kids are basic sketches of children and the traits intended to make them individuals are introduced and then never developed (one is a theater kid and one is an animal kid); the youngest daughter has full-blown magical powers for some reason. Alan was somewhat compelling when he was single-minded businessman, but he became an undefined blob of a person when he moved into the backyard and started pooping in the woods. What a mess!
wow i loved this so much. funny, wholesome but not without its edges, bizarre and alarmingly relatable especially if you’ve ever worked in advertising and marketing, i would have happily read another 100 pages of this and am so sad it’s over! If you are looking for a refreshing take on corporate burnout and the reinvention of self at the most inconvenient of times, i can’t recommend this book enough
Alan Opts Out by Courtney Maum is a humorous satire about a workaholic advertising executive and his wife who is aspiring to be a socialite. This book is a fun and quick read. Overall, I recommend it. However, none of the characters in the book were likeable which made it difficult to stay invested in the story at times.
Thank you to Netgalley and Little, Brown and Company for an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Vivian (nee Valerie) is focused on joining an elite social club in their elite neighborhood when her husband Alan has a crisis of self-- has his lifelong career in marketing actually been bad for the world? His searching and her striving made for a hilarious (seriously, I laughed out loud a lot) read on consumption, community, and family ties.
Loooooved this! I’m actually going to put this in the category of books that were written just for me. What I loved: - so funny! Almost every sentence was a banger. - summertime - rich people being stupid - pretty setting - fun characters - fun ending - it has heart! A deeper meaning in the end
I don’t know how I came across this book, but I’m so glad I did.
4.25 stars! Hands down best surprise of the year so far! I hadn’t planned to read this book. Each month I plan about 90 percent of my reading TBR and always leave a little room for the unexpected fun read to get added to the list and this one was it!! I had a ton of people tell me it was great! The premise sounded fun and I’d been reading a bunch of heavier tenser reads so I was game for a fun palette cleanse! This was so so enjoyable! Basically a rich family has a few unexpected things happen in different directions and every member of the family deals with the dilemmas in dramatically different ways! It was funny and just the right amount of crazy chaotic! I loved it! Highly recommend!
A fresh and funny satire I’d recommend to just about anyone. I truly had no idea where Maum was taking this or how she was going to land the plane, but she absolutely stuck the landing. A flawless execution that locked in a five-star read for me.
Not for me - at the nearly half way point I realized I didn’t want to spend any more time with the disillusioned ad man and his desperately status-climbing wife.
3.5. The whimsy didn’t hit for me, it seemed out of place. And it took about 75% of the book before Alan formally opted out. Things felt unresolved. It started out giving Yesteryear and left me way less thought-provoked. But is the pool a metaphor??? I did enjoy Vivianne though, I thought she was pleasantly absurd. It reminded me of Arrested Development (less funny though), and I actually think this would play out excellently as a TV show.
Really enjoyed this. Probably just under 5 stars but definitely one of my favorite fiction reads this year. Reminded me of the best of Annie Hartnett or Taffy B-A.
Alan Opts Out is sharp, satirical, and perfectly heartfelt.
When advertising executive Alan spectacularly implodes the biggest pitch of his career, he has a revelation: he's spent his entire life convincing people to buy things they don't need in order to feel better about themselves. So he does the unthinkable… he opts out. No shopping, no shoes, no showers, and a retreat to the absurdly extravagant playhouse sitting in his suburban Connecticut garden.
What follows is an entertaining, laugh-out-loud skewering of consumerism, capitalism, and our endless obsession with more. At times it's completely over the top and delightfully ridiculous, but that's part of its charm. Beneath all the farce is a surprisingly tender family story filled with flawed, recognizable characters trying to figure out what actually matters.
This one is wonderfully paced and easy to read. And that ending? I genuinely didn't see it coming. I could totally see it being adapted into a television series!
What I enjoyed most was its message. While Alan's experiment starts as a rejection of capitalism and material ambition, it gradually becomes something much more meaningful. It's a reminder that happiness is rarely found in wealth, exclusive clubs, or the next thing we're told we need to buy. Family, community, connection, and purpose definitely matter far more. If you've ever wondered whether all of our striving for more is actually making us happier, Alan Opts Out is well worth picking up.
So admittedly I am in a reading rut. Life is a little crazy right now, I started a new (and fantastic) job last week, I have a fun and crazy 1 year old on my hands, and I’m tired. Never to tired to read books (never once in my life have I been too tired to read a book) but books just aren’t hitting for me right now. All that to say - I truly don’t know if ALAN OPTS OUT is a good book or not.
My instinct is to say, it doesn’t really have a plot and a book with no plot better have great characters right? Eh, this one not so much either. It’s about really really rich people and that also bores me right now, and I find it hard to care about a multi-millionaire ad exec who decides he wants to “opt out” of the real world despite his wife’s longing to be part of the elite crowd in their rich and fancy neighborhood. The best characters are their two high school daughters, one of whom does 1 woman plays and the other seemingly talks to animals? I wanted a whole book about them instead!
So yeah, book rut or not this book did not hit for me at all and maybe sleep deprivation didn’t help so I’m curious to hear what others may think of it.
3.5. Advance copy provided by net galley. Laugh out loud funny with underlying moral about what is happiness. A little too ‘cute’ but definitely entertaining. Recommend as light read
I can't decide whether this is a cautionary tale, a man becoming an X-File, affluent suburban mass hysteria, or the funniest midlife crisis I’ve read in years. Either way, I had an AMAZING time with it.
Alan Anderson's a successful advertising executive whose Big Dairy presentation implodes “because some fucking anarchist who wasn’t even supposed to be there had just exploded Alan’s life,” which prompts him to look around at modern society and go, “Was there a purpose to Alan’s life? Had he got his purpose wrong?” before immediately detonating his own life in the most spectacularly chaotic way possible.
And when I say detonate, I mean DETONATE 🧨
Alan opts out (TITLE DROP!!!!) of capitalism, social norms, employment, footwear, personal hygiene, and eventually reality-adjacent behaviour altogether. He abandons his family to live in the back garden playhouse and starts trying to survive suburban Connecticut like he’s on a low-budget survival show nobody asked for.
This quote perfectly captures the reading experience: “What in the fuckity fuck of all the fucks was going on?”
Meanwhile, his wife Vivian's desperately trying to claw her way into an elite society club populated entirely by rich women who would have thrived during the Salem witch trials. Which means Alan choosing this exact moment to transform into a feral anti-consumerist backyard goblin is VERY VERY VERY inconvenient for everyone involved.
There isn't a single likeable person anywhere in this book.
Vivian/Valerie is social climbing so aggressively she’s basically excavating the family bank account just to cosplay wealth and fit in with this cursed Desperate Housewives-esque clique. The oldest kid's a kleptomaniac. The youngest believes she's Doctor Dolittle and can communicate with animals. Alan (pre-breakdown) is so emotionally checked out he’d rather answer spam emails on a Sunday afternoon than acknowledge his own family. His closest emotional connection is Lenny the Lobster, who's “shedding his outer shell slowly and disgustingly in Alan’s beverage tub.” And the supporting cast are every possible variation of malice, delusion, passive aggression, repression, instability, and wealthy suburban insanity.
I loved every single one of them. No notes.
I also loved all the little snippets of life in Connecticut. The neighbourhood Slack/group chats full of petty arguments. The competitive parenting. The social politics. The passive-aggressive rich people behaviour that feels more threatening than actual physical violence. The book nails that specific brand of affluent suburban dysfunction where everyone's smiling while trying to destroy each other psychologically.
This book is SATIRE satire. Like the author took one look at wellness culture, luxury branding, performative wealth, fake sustainability, LinkedIn personalities, corporate jargon, and rich people who own 17 beige candles and said “absolutely the fuck not.”
EVERYONE and EVERYTHING gets dragged.
But underneath all the chaos, secondhand embarrassment, marital warfare, and upper-middle-class psychological collapse, there’s real emotional depth. Vivian especially surprised me. I started out judging her and quickly ended up emotionally invested in her need to reinvent herself and win approval from women who seem legally prohibited from experiencing joy.
The whole thing feels like watching someone slowly remove one Jenga block after another from the structure of modern society while screaming “YOU ARE ALL SHEEP” and everyone else screams back “PLEASE GOD PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON.”
It’s bizarre, funny, uncomfortable, oddly moving, and very accurate about modern identity and consumer culture. But this is not a quiet literary meditation and you won't find a neat redemption arc here.
What you will find: rich people behaving terribly, existential crises escalating in real time, anti-capitalist meltdowns, social climbing, emotional repression, public humiliation, children becoming Snow White, and at least one man spiritually devolving into a neighbourhood cryptid while emotionally bonding with a lobster.
I married a guy who loves the outdoors. Camping? Sure. Rowing? Absolutely. Hiking? Definitely. Spending a weekend without wi-fi? Easy-peasy. But moving into the playhouse in our backyard? That would be the moment I’d wonder if he was having a midlife crisis. In Courtney Maum’s Alan Opts Out, that is exactly the kind of leap that Alan Anderson takes in this book. It’s a modern satire about ambition, consumerism, and suburban life that kept me giggling throughout the story.
Vibe Scorecard: 😂 Humor: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ The idea of a grown man choosing a backyard playhouse as his escape plan is ridiculous in the best way. The look at suburban life made me laugh the most.
🏡 Suburban Satire: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ If you enjoy reading about society’s obsession with success and appearances, this book delivers.
❤️ Emotional Depth: ⭐⭐⭐☆☆ There are thoughtful moments about marriage, family, and happiness.
🤔 Makes You Think: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ You may find yourself asking: Do I really need everything in my house? Is all this stuff actually making me happy?
📖 Book Club Potential: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ So many conversation starters: ambition, marriage, consumerism, happiness, and whether “opting out” is actually possible.
My Thoughts on Alan Opts Out:
Humor: You have to love a good satire on human life, especially in the suburbs. I kept thinking, “This is ridiculous.” Then I kept laughing and thought about how this could really happen. It makes you wonder What if I walked away from this life that I built? After thirty years of teaching middle school, I understood Alan’s desire to question whether the daily stress was worth it. I wouldn’t trade my personal life for anything, but like Alan, I occasionally wondered if there was another way. The fact that Alan’s job was to convince people to want things, and then he decides to give it all up is what made the story interesting.
Characters: The family relationships were my favorite part of the book. Maum did a wonderful job of making them so realistic. Alan’s family was messy, chaotic, and yet, Maum also created the feeling of love between them. As a teacher of teenagers, the characteristics of Alan’s two daughters were spot on.
The “Queen Anne” group that Vivian, the mom, strived to get into was both horrifying and hilarious at the same time. The suburban social competition was next level. It made me dislike the mom a lot, but I could actually see it happening in real families.
Alan, though? I would totally hang out with him. I love how he was willing to question things and make changes, even if it meant looking crazy in his neighborhood. He was an influencer without being on social media. Not an easy task! Instead of convincing people to buy things, he was unintentionally convincing them to question everything.
Pacing: The pacing of the story was mostly good, but it did slow down for me a little in the middle. The ending was satisfying and wrapped up the story nicely.
My Rating: I gave this book four out of five stars. Overall, Alan Opts Out was a well-written book that had humor and an interesting storyline. It had a funny outlook on suburban life and consumerism. It made me laugh quite a few times, it’s weird, and it made me think. You might even start looking at that playhouse or shed in your backyard a little differently from now on.
Let’s Chat! What’s your idea of the perfect escape? A cabin in the woods? A beach house? A quiet weekend away? Or are you ready to move into the backyard playhouse? 😉 Let me know in the comments below!