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336 pages, Hardcover
First published October 21, 2024
“Want some advice?” the guy says. But he doesn’t wait for a response. “How about actually replying when a man tries to make small talk?”
“Yeah,” the blond one fills in. “And you should smile more.”
At that, Isera finally looks up. Her face is an expressionless mask and her tone is flat as she replies with one single word. “Why?”
“Because it makes you look pretty.”
“And why would that be my goal?”
Stunned silence falls over the table as the two guys stare at her, uncomprehending, while their mouths work up and down a few times.
Isera lets out a scoff and goes back to eating.
“No wonder you’re still single,” the silver-haired one huffs. “Fucking ice lady.”
When I entered this competition, I thought… I don’t know. That I would breeze through the trials? Or something like that.
It sounds ridiculous now. But I just thought that because I wanted to win so badly, it would give me an edge against everyone else. But the more time I spend here, the more I realize that everyone desperately wants to win. And I don’t know if I’m skilled enough, and ruthless enough, to beat them.
_____
It’s insane that the fae resistance hasn’t utilized me more. I would make the perfect spy. I can deescalate conflicts before they happen. And I can create them too, as distractions or as a part of a longer manipulation mission. I could do so much for them. And yet, all these years, they’ve kept me stuck on lookout duty.
Pain stabs into my chest and squeezes my heart. I’ve tried so hard to prove myself. To the resistance. To my parents. To the friends I should have had. But no matter what I do, everyone always keeps me at arm’s length. As if they think I’m going to… what? Take advantage of them? Force them to like me against their wishes?
It’s ridiculous. Just because I can manipulate people’s emotions doesn’t mean that I go around doing it at random. Just like Isera doesn’t throw blocks of ice at everyone she meets just because she can. But it’s as if there’s suddenly this huge difference just because my powers are of the mental kind rather than something physical that people can touch, or at least see.
My heart clenches again, and hopelessness washes over me. How am I ever going to make them accept me?