Taken by the Tetris Blocks: An Erotic Short Story

Digital Desires #1

by Leonard Delaney

When blocks started falling from the sky, Christie Aackerlund welcomed the excitement. Now she’s having a bad day at work, and looking for some fun and games. Luckily, she runs into some large Russian blocks that are more than happy to score. Soon, she’ll be the one falling … in lust.

Taken by the Tetris Blocks is a 4000 word short story featuring sexual situations involving blocks. It’s for super mature audiences only.

Genres: Erotica, Science Fiction, Fiction, Smut, Comedy, Short Stories, Romance

17 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 13, 2014

About the author

Fully ignoring the lame advice to "write what you know," Leonard Delaney uses a vivid imagination to overcome limited life experience. His unique blend of erotica, fantasy, and science fiction explores the lighter side of massacring good taste. His debut novella, Sex Boat, is two parts parody, one part satire, with a sprinkle of sea monsters.

See http://www.forestcitypulp.com for more information about Leonard, or email him at ldelaney@forestcitypulp.com

Reviews

[Peter Topside · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is another one of those books that I don’t read, but the title alone caught my attention. Of all things to be chosen for erotica, how in God’s name did we find Tetris blocks? Needless to say, I was surprised how much of an actual story it attempted to have, before quickly devolving into some solid block on skin action. Christie goes from an established journalist, fresh off of quitting her demeaning job and feeling totally empowered, to jumping right into being double teamed by Tetris blocks in an elevator. Not sure if that was a step up or down for her character. But, then again, what the hell do I know about sexual relations with alien technology. The sex itself felt very rushed, but was sort of creative with how it all went happened. Just a very short, silly romp in the garden of strange desires. Thank you for ruining a classic video game forever. Sincerely, Peter Topside.

[Dan Schwent · Rating 3 out of 5]

In a world where sentient Tetris blocks are commonplace, Christie Aackerlund works for a clickbait website until the day she storms out. Fortunately, there were a few Russian Tetris blocks waiting to give her solace...

I was reading the reviews for Motherfucking Wizards: An Erotic Novella About Sexual Wizards on Amazon and this popped up. It was free, so what the hell.

First off, I must confess that I've never been attracted to Tetris blocks, although the L-shaped piece is definitely the most bangable.

This was a quick read with very little in the way of plot. The writing isn't great but still a notch above most monster porn. The world is interesting, although I'm curious about how the sentient Tetris blocks fit into society in situations other than interspecies intercourse. Maybe that will be covered in a sequel at some point. Anyway, the sex was as hot as sex between a woman and three talking Tetris blocks could be.

By monster porn standards, this was pretty good. Three out of five stars.

[Danger · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve never been sexually attracted to Tetris blocks before. The Dr. Mario germs? Sure, I’d fuck one. But they have faces, hands, PERSONALITIES. Even the Snood dudes I could masturbate to, should the mood strike me just right- but again, they are anthropomorphic blobs. They have human features. They aren’t just….colorful Russian blocks that descended from outer space. Of course, after reading Taken by the Tetris Blocks, I’m going to have to rethink my position here. Tetris blocks are sexy as FUCK. They really know how to pleasure a woman. I may have a lot to learn about the female perspective - being that I'm the most macho and manly man to ever live - but this short book is certainly my first step in understanding what it is that women want: THEY WANT GROUP SEX WITH TETRIS BLOCKS! AND NOW SO DO I!

[Kelly (and the Book Boar) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/



In case there was any question, obviously this confirms that I have zero shame and even less willpower. The only thing that may surprise any of you is the person who requested this buddy read. In order to protect his good name, he shall remain nameless (*cough Dan cough*). Yes, it seems even the brightest of bulbs on the Goodreads’ tree cannot resist the siren song of monster erotica.

So what was this little gem about? Wellllllll, pretty much something kinda like this . . .



Some time ago blocks started falling from the sky. Christie was excited to welcome this new species to Earth, but Donald Trump her boss at Squawker Media was not so open-minded and decided Christie should write some controversial pieces about how the Blocks are ruining ‘Murica. Christie decides to pull a Johnny Paycheck and tells that bastard to take this job and shove it, but before packing her desk she makes a pit stop to freshen up and confirms the Right Wingers are sooooooo correct that you never know what will happen if you allow shared bathrooms - especially with these fellas . . . .



After that it pretty much boils down to a lot of . . .

“Yeah, fill my gap.”

And confirmation that . . .



Are you a disgusting pervert with no self-control just like me? If so, get it for free right HERE.

[Brianna Noelle · Rating 1 out of 5]

If you see this.... no you didn't.
In my defense this all started with a TikTok and some peer pressure. I-..... I am speechless.

[Emma Sea · Rating 2 out of 5]

To be continued in: Impregnated by the Tetris Blocks. Of course.



2.5 stars. I've read worse.

[⊹ ࣪ ˖ tanya]

i need to stop being curious

[Oliver Clarke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honestly, this was as good as you could reasonably expect a book about a woman having sex with Tetris blocks to be.
The edition I read also included the story 'Pounded by Pluto' which was way better then we have any right to expect a book about an eminent scientist banging a planet to be.

[Grapie Deltaco · Rating 2 out of 5]

I- 😀

Nothing prepared me for any sentence that occurred in this novella.

There are definitely some lines and moments that read very strongly as a woman written by a man, like the surface level and also very confused understanding/depiction of sexual harassment (??), but I’m fascinated by this world.

For reasons beyond anyone’s understanding, sentient Tetris blocks float down from the great beyond and integrate themselves into everyday life and infrastructure.

I’m left with so many questions. Why do the Tetris blocks Christine has sex with all hace Russian accents? Where do the blocks come from? Where did they poof to when they made a “TETRIS” ? What are the “Block rights” Christine is writing about? So that one block got assigned to be a Starbucks counter before being assigned to Christine’s house?

I think what threw me off most of all was the fact that Taken by the Tetris Blocks actually ends around 30% before entering a bonus story, Pounded by Pluto, which has been banned from Amazon due to the ginormous rocky penis that is attached to the front of the dwarf planet.

No, I’m not joking.

CW: explicit sexual content, brief moment of catcalling/sexual harassment, implications of past workplace sexual harassment (??)

[hea booktubes · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read it out loud with friends. Gasping with laughter.

[Velia · Rating 4 out of 5]

That was truly an odd one.

[Bree Lauren · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dramatic reading performed live by: Megan, Heather, Izzy, Mae, and myself.

[Cat · Rating 1 out of 5]

I lost it at the folk music linked in the story.

[Chloe Louise · Rating 1 out of 5]

took one for the team and read this for my freinds, i wish i didnt

[Alana Melos · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a short which doesn't quite defy description, as I'm going to describe it. It's... very... unusual. There are quite a few erotica books out there which have "living object" sex in them, many of my favorites by the master Chuck Tingle. Hence, I decided to check out some of Mr. Tingle's competition. This is a f/block story about a woman who wanted a promotion at work. When the offer came with a string which she wasn't willing to tug, she runs into a Russian block in the bathroom, which she then proceeds to have sex with.



It seems that some time ago, Tetris blocks just started falling from the sky. They were friendly, and became part of our structures, being... helpful like blocks are and building stuff for us. Including buildings which we work and live in, furniture we sit in, counters we use, and all sorts of things. Which means they're always watching us.



Our heroine screws the tetris block, and then others wander in! So, of course she must have sex with them too. And I have to say this is the best part of the book... spoilers for those who don't want to ruin it.

As the other two blocks surged and filled her with thick fluid, the I Block floated parallel to the floor. A blue rod popped out of his end.

"TETRIS!!!" yelled the I Block as he rocketed between the other Blocks and into her pussy.

She came as soon as his rod entered her. All three Blocks cried out. Their voices became higher in pitch as their cries sustained, transforming into an electronic BLOOP! There was a flash of light. Christie suddenly found herself sprawled on the floor. Oily fluid of various colors dripped from various holes.

All of the Blocks were gone.

Yeah, so now stare at this gif and try NOT to imagine Tetris blocks coming.



Overall, it was cute, but not truly satisfying, nor really funny. 5 out of 10 smooth extending rods.

[Katie Harder-schauer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those books that leaves most people, myself included, astounded that anyone would even think to write that story. I went into it expecting to encounter utter ridiculousness, and I was let down.

The book starts out with the idea that there are Tetris block shaped alien life forms somewhere in the galaxy (or in some galaxy) and they come to Earth, which is a bit absurd, but no more absurd than the idea that there is an alien species made out of metal, rubber, etc and brought to life by a cube called the All Spark, that can transform from a human-ish shape into cars or electronics, and Transformers have been quite popular during two separate times in my lifetime alone. And really, that is the most ridiculous part of this story. Once you accept that premise, it becomes pretty standard sci-fi erotica.

I don't really want to go into too many more details though because that would basically involve rehashing the entire story (it is a short story after all), but I will say that I thought the sex scene was hot. I was surprisingly and oddly aroused by it. It wasn't ridiculous or awkward.

Overall I give this story 5 out of 5 stars because it was well written and surprised me. My only complaint is that I would have liked it to have been longer, but I have to rate the story for what it is, not for what I want it to be. If you like erotica that is a little bit out there, this story is definitely for you.

Reviewed on Just Another Girl and Her Books blog
http://www.justanothergirlandherbooks...

[Breana 🍄 · Rating 3 out of 5]

this was short but amazing. I am more interested in the fact that the blocks work at starbucks. did they strike? do they have healthcare??? do they have to pay bills??? why are they too victims of capitalism ??

[Jon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pregnant by Tetris blocks lol no. Bonus points for them being Russian and working the theme music in.

[Gemma · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nuestra teoría era cierta!
Los tetris la embarazan😂😂😂

[Keri | Books_and_Hookers · Rating 1 out of 5]

No.

[lucy ᵔᴗᵔ · Rating 1 out of 5]

ah yes of course this will continue in the next part, impregnated by the tetris block

seriously what the fuck is going on

[Izzy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dramatic Reading on Meowth Vader channel for her birthday.

It's uh as bad ad the other one

[Kat · Rating 2 out of 5]

You didn’t see this

[Madison Roszell-Johnston · Rating 2 out of 5]

Didn’t hate it, but also didn’t see the point. Writing is not great, but for a quick-crazy-read it’s not the worst

[Biblio]

This is a silly dumb little story about Russian (yeah idk but it’s funny ok) Tetris blocks and a human in a futuristic (ish) world. Dumb little plot but made me LOL way too many times. Did I have screwing Tetris blocks on my reading bingo card this year? Surprisingly yes. I’m going to be the only person who actually enjoyed this but if you look at my reading history it makes sense. (That’s a backhanded compliment to myself. I know.)

[Hydra Star · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story was surprisingly engaging and entertaining (I'd read several negative reviews prior to reading it). It touches on some social issues many female writers (as well as just females and just writers in general) can probably relate to, while at the same time being straight up strange and pornographic.

[She Reads So Much · Rating 1 out of 5]

It’s just… bad? Idk I’m sorry💀

[Janelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Peak art!!!! I’m so glad I get to live in the same timeline as Leonard Delaney lmaoooo

[Niamh · Rating 3 out of 5]

……I’m not proud to admit I kinda wanna be her. But the whole Russian thing was weird. Like why wouldn’t they have alien accents but even if they DID have Russian accents the sentence about her recognising the blasting Russian folk music made me laugh. Not sure why. Maybe just seems so niche, like I wouldn’t recognise it if it slapped me in the face. Or gang banged me in the basement toilet…

Anyway. It’s late and I’m rambling.

End of the book promised a sequel. Now I’m disappointed coz it was 10 years ago. Cheers mate, now I’m crying.

[K.]

I read this for a laugh, but I could be convinced to read a more serious version of the Block concept. However, this was an erotica with a silly premise, so the Tetris blocks have dicks. In my opinion, the author really should have leaned into the Block thing and made it about grinding onto corner surfaces, but that would have made the sequel about Tetris pregnancy less realistic. 🤷‍♀️