Lack

by Cecilia Knapp

In the quiet, lonely hours of the middle of the night, a woman scrolls social media on her phone. Babies are everywhere. All her friends seem to have one. Her sweet partner Dan is desperate to start a family. But she is full of doubt – how can she consider the enormity of new life when the world outside is burning?

Besides, there’s something wrong in her body. She can feel it. A pain. A constant dull ache she is too frightened to investigate.

And then there is something darker, pulsing beneath the surface, threatening to catch up with her. Hers is a life deeply affected by grief and chaos; the death of her mother, a sexual assault, and a drawn-out affair full of glamour, hedonism, obsession and control.

Is it possible to rebuild when all you feel is lack?

This stunning literary novel explores and confronts the immense pressure and uncertainty of contemporary, consumable womanhood.

Genres: Literary Fiction

265 pages, Kindle Edition

Expected publication May 21, 2026

About the author

Cecilia Knapp is a poet, playwright and novelist and the Young People’s Laureate for London 2020/2021.

Abridged from author's website.

Reviews

[bee · Rating 5 out of 5]

6 stars

I’ve never read a book that made me feel so seen and understood. There are stories we move through, and then there are books that seem to understand us. Lack is a lyrical and insightful novel that explores grief, trauma, and the complexities of growing up, weaving in themes of friendship, love, motherhood, and mental health through the subtle details of everyday life.

The plot is quiet, thoughtful, and intentional. It doesn’t rely on dramatic twists or big moments, but instead builds its emotional impact through everyday experiences.

I found the main character extremely relatable, though I can see some readers finding her frustrating at times. She doesn’t always make the right decisions, but she feels real — her choices reflect the confusion and pain she’s navigating.

“These days, the pain I feel comes less from missing her and so much more from forgetting her.”

“Some days she won’t be able to explain why she feels so lonely and so irritable. She will have to tell people at parties that she lost her mother, too young, and she will have to receive their sad sympathetic faces, their downturned mouths. Her new life will grow around her grief, even when she doesn’t want it to, like a tree around a metal fence. She’ll forget parts of her mother. She’ll want to talk about her but won’t know how to bring it up without it seeming forced, or self-centred. Then a year will have passed. Then years.”

→ I found myself highlighting so many passages.
The way the author writes emotions is raw and poetic.

The novel handles sensitive subjects with care and nuance, including sexual assault, grooming, manipulative relationships, and depression.

There are so many parts of this book I could talk about — the way social media impacts metal health. The complexity of relationships. It’s all written in such a smart and engaging way.

Overall, this novel is a work of art. Lack is a deeply moving story exploring life, coming of age, grief, and the messy reality of healing.

[Lois · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lack is an absolutely gorgeous book. The protagonist was very relatable despite her past not necessarily being relatable to everyone her age and potentially not the entire readership (I.e., losing her mother early).

I adored her difficult relationship with her father - her clear love for him and worry, the vulnerability of him as a widower struggling between passion and making a living, and his clear love for her but also the boundary between them. Lots of things left unsaid. Cecelia Knapp shows us in such beautiful ways. There is always a need from both sides for closeness and love but neither of them are able to give it to each other.

I adored her exploration of life differences and ones perception of the self and others - the interpretation of thoughts and actions. The idea that the protagonist feels she is integrally lacking in some way from her entire childhood to adulting when comparing herself to Mary. And how Mary feels exactly the same. I love that this is essentially a thought tank of female paranoia.

The social media obsession and health anxiety was accurate to a tee. This book was so honest.

And finally, I especially loved her conflicting with Dan about having a child and how patient Dan was. I wasn’t sure his patience was entirely realistic and felt he might have been a little more frustrated! But nice guys like Dan DO exist and I did really enjoy the polar opposite representations of nice guy and troubled narcissist (Kit). I abhorred him and felt the balance of his character traits in scenes - dependency and abusiveness - were spot on.

This is such a wonderful story about acceptance, grief, life and choices. Ultimately, she finds her family and doesn’t feel that she’s lacking at the end. Everything feels fine.

Thank you so much to HarperCollins for letting me read this on NetGalley 🙂

[Big Bertha · Rating 5 out of 5]

"No one else would want me, no-one else would measure up"

A childhood that could have been mine, a non-descript cul-de-sac in the midlands, neighbours that scurried in and out to their cars nodding as they went and a daily life that was similar to many others.

But it wasn't the same as mine, the protagonist lost her mother at eleven and from there our lives went in very different directions.

This novel crept into my soul, it rooted around and came out clutching my deepest fears and insecurities with a familiarity that was both relatable and disturbing.

The writing is sublime. A life laid bare, its challenges unbearable, its friendship, love and kindness heartwarming. A thought provoking read that struck a cord and will stay with me for a long time.

[Nichola Gorji · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley for allowing me to read this book in return for an honest review. I found this story to be gripping and beautifully written. The book has many elements including friendship, grief, trauma and love to name a few. Mental health and the effects of social media also play a huge role in this story. A very cleverly written and thought provoking story that I would definitely recommend.

[inapileofyarnandbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really engagingly written book about grief and trauma and the ways our environments can hinder growth. The main character is a very different person to me so there was every reason for this book not to resonate, but I still found myself relating to her on her journey. I think I was expecting more of a messy book, but it was really thoughtful and intentional.

Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for the ARC