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Why Does Everybody Hate Me?: Living and Loving with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria
Your boss asked you for a chat, and you just knew you were going to be fired
You didn't sleep all weekend, and you weren't fired
Someone answered your message with a thumbs-up emoji and you just knew they hated you.
So you stopped talking to them, they eventually stopped texting, and now you miss them like crazy
Someone went for a bathroom break mid-film, and you just knew it's because they think your taste in films is terrible
You were so upset you missed the rest of the film, and they left early
Rejection is physically painful for you. Even the most minor criticism stings. And why wouldn't it? By the time you were 12, you'd received 20,000 negative messages about yourself, your brain and your unique ADHD way of living life.
20,000.
Alex Partridge knows how it feels to live with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), the state of emotional dysregulation experienced by almost everyone with ADHD. Throughout his journey from successful entrepreneur to neurodiversity campaigner and host of the hugely successful ADHD Chatter, Alex has been haunted by the fear of rejection, labelled 'over-sensitive', and fought constantly against the desire to people-please and protect himself from emotional harm.
In Why Does Everybody Hate Me? Alex draws on his own experience of RSD, and shares how it's coloured every aspect of his life, from his days as founder of the global social media content brands UniLad and LadBible, to his adult relationships, his mental health struggles and his terrible imposter syndrome. He'll use the insights he's gained from the world's top experts on ADHD to share with you some simple steps to regaining your boundaries, your confidence and your self-belief.
You are not 'too sensitive' - nor are you broken. You were always enough.
You didn't sleep all weekend, and you weren't fired
Someone answered your message with a thumbs-up emoji and you just knew they hated you.
So you stopped talking to them, they eventually stopped texting, and now you miss them like crazy
Someone went for a bathroom break mid-film, and you just knew it's because they think your taste in films is terrible
You were so upset you missed the rest of the film, and they left early
Rejection is physically painful for you. Even the most minor criticism stings. And why wouldn't it? By the time you were 12, you'd received 20,000 negative messages about yourself, your brain and your unique ADHD way of living life.
20,000.
Alex Partridge knows how it feels to live with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), the state of emotional dysregulation experienced by almost everyone with ADHD. Throughout his journey from successful entrepreneur to neurodiversity campaigner and host of the hugely successful ADHD Chatter, Alex has been haunted by the fear of rejection, labelled 'over-sensitive', and fought constantly against the desire to people-please and protect himself from emotional harm.
In Why Does Everybody Hate Me? Alex draws on his own experience of RSD, and shares how it's coloured every aspect of his life, from his days as founder of the global social media content brands UniLad and LadBible, to his adult relationships, his mental health struggles and his terrible imposter syndrome. He'll use the insights he's gained from the world's top experts on ADHD to share with you some simple steps to regaining your boundaries, your confidence and your self-belief.
You are not 'too sensitive' - nor are you broken. You were always enough.
223 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 24, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 68 reviews
January 19, 2026
I found this nonfiction book to be incredibly eye opening! It really did capture my attention right at the very beginning. Before reading this book, I had not heard of RSD and what it was. I can relate to a lot of the symptoms it has. I always seem to think the worst of everything. RSD stands for the term Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. It’s for people who are always called sensitive, which is me! Furthermore, RSD is an intense emotional pain tied to actual or perceived rejection/criticism, which is discussed in ADHD patients.
This book made me have a broader understanding of RSD and its symptoms. I felt hopeful, not alone and optimistic while reading this book. It was very well written, easy to read and came with tools for people that do have RSD. I highly recommend reading this book! I will be purchasing the physical copy of this book when it is released. Overall, I give this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars!
Thank you to NetGalley, author Alex Partridge, John Murray Press US and Sheldon Press for this eARC in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.
This book is expected to be released on March 24, 2026!
This book made me have a broader understanding of RSD and its symptoms. I felt hopeful, not alone and optimistic while reading this book. It was very well written, easy to read and came with tools for people that do have RSD. I highly recommend reading this book! I will be purchasing the physical copy of this book when it is released. Overall, I give this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars!
Thank you to NetGalley, author Alex Partridge, John Murray Press US and Sheldon Press for this eARC in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.
This book is expected to be released on March 24, 2026!
April 2, 2026
I wanted to like this, but alas...
To reject a book written by someone who has rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) seems cruel, but I had so many bones to pick while reading this.
For me, a large part of the issue with this book was its genre classification and framing. I fully respect Alex Partridge telling his story of ADHD and RSD, but I genuinely wish it was framed as such; his story. Instead, this seems to have been written more as a book defining RSD as an informative guide to what RSD is and how to manage it, which felt overstated. I think if it were written as a memoir, this would have earned a 3 or 4-star rating from my perspective.
For one, there are sweeping generalizations stated as fact, and entirely without citations. Oof, this was a big issue for me. There are some general little factoids about the ADHD brain, but without citations, it's really difficult to contextualize them.
There are countless "you" statements that really should have been "I" statements. For example, "you prioritize the approval of others. In your desperation to avoid uncomfortable conversations, you end up damaging the relationships that matter to you. You put distance between you--" and so on and so forth. This is just one snippet, but defining someone else's experience, even if they have the same clinical diagnosis as the author, like this, should be avoided.
The author also states that people with RSD know they have it because "they identify with and accept it. [...] They know that the RSD concept is valid because it matches their lived experience exactly." This is a troublesome perspective to take in psychiatry, and providing an overview of diagnostic criteria would have been more useful here. OCD, for example, is another psychiatric disorder that has been damaged by people simply claiming that they have it because they were related to a snippet they heard about it.
Of note, the author was diagnosed with ADHD at 34 years old. I wish there were some acknowledgment made to the possibility that there are systematic differences in how ADHD manifests in those who are diagnosed as children versus adults. The “STOP” strategy was also brought up, but only the “S” and “T” steps were actually defined, which limits the usefulness. Maybe this was just an oversight?
Another big thing is the repetition throughout the book. I am not joking when I say the statement that children with ADHD hear 20,000 more negative comments in childhood was repeated 19 times in this short book. And by the way, that statement is not even from a paper or study, but rather just an observation from Dodson's clinical practice. "Burting into tears" was also stated 14 different times throughout. That's a lot of tears. There are many other repetitive statements and sentiments throughout, but these were the two that really ground my gears.
Part of my low rating was also the aversiveness I felt toward the arrogance in many sections. For example, “Even when I only gave 50% effort towards a task, it was better than most people’s 100%.” And “people with RSD are the world’s best problem-solvers” as well as being “the most empathetic.” I also wish that some of the advice was more focused on inwards work, such as improving one’s own emotion regulation, rather than the heavy reliance on expecting friends, family, and coworkers to create a list of compliments to have on hand to help soothe someone with RSD (this was a real a tip repeated through the book).
Does it get better? Yes. I am happy that I fought through the urge to DNF at 25% because it did slowly get better, and I enjoyed reading the examples from others with the disorder. A few of the author's analogies were really well stated, such as describing rejection as a slap on the back for a neurotypical individual, while for someone struggling with RSD, it's more like a slap on the back with a bad sunburn. There is also some good advice in here for just about any reader, such as learning to say "Can I let you know tomorrow?" instead of a knee-jerk "Yes" that ends up getting many of us into cycles of being over-committed to tasks that we don't actually want to be roped into. There was also the very helpful advice to know when to leave a situation before it escalates, and to understand that people are allowed to reject a part of you without rejecting you as a whole. I also appreciated that the book was organized into short, digestible sections.
I would like to state that, while I was initially very excited about this book, I quickly realized I was far from the target audience. I work in the field of clinical neuroscience and received my PhD studying neuromarkers of ADHD, so I'm coming at this from a scientific perspective rather than from lived experience with RSD. That said, I do think more caution should have been exercised in writing this book to avoid presenting lived experience as a fact about a clinical population.
Thank you, NetGalley and John Murray Press, for the opportunity to read an advanced reader's copy in exchange for my honest opinions.
To reject a book written by someone who has rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) seems cruel, but I had so many bones to pick while reading this.
For me, a large part of the issue with this book was its genre classification and framing. I fully respect Alex Partridge telling his story of ADHD and RSD, but I genuinely wish it was framed as such; his story. Instead, this seems to have been written more as a book defining RSD as an informative guide to what RSD is and how to manage it, which felt overstated. I think if it were written as a memoir, this would have earned a 3 or 4-star rating from my perspective.
For one, there are sweeping generalizations stated as fact, and entirely without citations. Oof, this was a big issue for me. There are some general little factoids about the ADHD brain, but without citations, it's really difficult to contextualize them.
There are countless "you" statements that really should have been "I" statements. For example, "you prioritize the approval of others. In your desperation to avoid uncomfortable conversations, you end up damaging the relationships that matter to you. You put distance between you--" and so on and so forth. This is just one snippet, but defining someone else's experience, even if they have the same clinical diagnosis as the author, like this, should be avoided.
The author also states that people with RSD know they have it because "they identify with and accept it. [...] They know that the RSD concept is valid because it matches their lived experience exactly." This is a troublesome perspective to take in psychiatry, and providing an overview of diagnostic criteria would have been more useful here. OCD, for example, is another psychiatric disorder that has been damaged by people simply claiming that they have it because they were related to a snippet they heard about it.
Of note, the author was diagnosed with ADHD at 34 years old. I wish there were some acknowledgment made to the possibility that there are systematic differences in how ADHD manifests in those who are diagnosed as children versus adults. The “STOP” strategy was also brought up, but only the “S” and “T” steps were actually defined, which limits the usefulness. Maybe this was just an oversight?
Another big thing is the repetition throughout the book. I am not joking when I say the statement that children with ADHD hear 20,000 more negative comments in childhood was repeated 19 times in this short book. And by the way, that statement is not even from a paper or study, but rather just an observation from Dodson's clinical practice. "Burting into tears" was also stated 14 different times throughout. That's a lot of tears. There are many other repetitive statements and sentiments throughout, but these were the two that really ground my gears.
Part of my low rating was also the aversiveness I felt toward the arrogance in many sections. For example, “Even when I only gave 50% effort towards a task, it was better than most people’s 100%.” And “people with RSD are the world’s best problem-solvers” as well as being “the most empathetic.” I also wish that some of the advice was more focused on inwards work, such as improving one’s own emotion regulation, rather than the heavy reliance on expecting friends, family, and coworkers to create a list of compliments to have on hand to help soothe someone with RSD (this was a real a tip repeated through the book).
Does it get better? Yes. I am happy that I fought through the urge to DNF at 25% because it did slowly get better, and I enjoyed reading the examples from others with the disorder. A few of the author's analogies were really well stated, such as describing rejection as a slap on the back for a neurotypical individual, while for someone struggling with RSD, it's more like a slap on the back with a bad sunburn. There is also some good advice in here for just about any reader, such as learning to say "Can I let you know tomorrow?" instead of a knee-jerk "Yes" that ends up getting many of us into cycles of being over-committed to tasks that we don't actually want to be roped into. There was also the very helpful advice to know when to leave a situation before it escalates, and to understand that people are allowed to reject a part of you without rejecting you as a whole. I also appreciated that the book was organized into short, digestible sections.
I would like to state that, while I was initially very excited about this book, I quickly realized I was far from the target audience. I work in the field of clinical neuroscience and received my PhD studying neuromarkers of ADHD, so I'm coming at this from a scientific perspective rather than from lived experience with RSD. That said, I do think more caution should have been exercised in writing this book to avoid presenting lived experience as a fact about a clinical population.
Thank you, NetGalley and John Murray Press, for the opportunity to read an advanced reader's copy in exchange for my honest opinions.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is not easy to discuss. Research into the subject is still quite new and it's difficult to describe to someone who has never experienced it.
I was diagnosed AuDHD in my late 30s. From childhood I was told I had low self esteem, low self confidence and anxiety. I overreacted to things, I was too sensitive, I blew things out of proportion. I would take 30 minutes to write an email beside I was worried about getting the tone right. I thought a friend hated me because they didn't hug me goodbye once.
I saw multiple counselors, tried different types of therapy, and ultimately felt broken because nothing worked. Turns out it was RSD. Learning that helped so much because I could learn to reframe it.
I can't emphasise how different reject sensitivity is to reject sensitivity dysphoria.
My problem with this book is that it can't articulate that difference either. There's a lot of repetition and story telling because it's trying really hard to show how different it is. I understand this especially since RSD is frequently invalidated but it makes the book bloated and often difficult to read.
I do think it could have been shorter and more balanced between explanation and practical advice but I'm glad that it exists. I'm hopeful that it will spark further discussion and research into RSD.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC
I was diagnosed AuDHD in my late 30s. From childhood I was told I had low self esteem, low self confidence and anxiety. I overreacted to things, I was too sensitive, I blew things out of proportion. I would take 30 minutes to write an email beside I was worried about getting the tone right. I thought a friend hated me because they didn't hug me goodbye once.
I saw multiple counselors, tried different types of therapy, and ultimately felt broken because nothing worked. Turns out it was RSD. Learning that helped so much because I could learn to reframe it.
I can't emphasise how different reject sensitivity is to reject sensitivity dysphoria.
My problem with this book is that it can't articulate that difference either. There's a lot of repetition and story telling because it's trying really hard to show how different it is. I understand this especially since RSD is frequently invalidated but it makes the book bloated and often difficult to read.
I do think it could have been shorter and more balanced between explanation and practical advice but I'm glad that it exists. I'm hopeful that it will spark further discussion and research into RSD.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you Netgalley for this earc. All opinions are my own.
What a wonderful book. Alex had one of my favourite Instagram accounts on Instagram and he has helped me understand a lot about myself already. This book added so much to all of his videos.
It is nicely structured, kept my attention easily (no small feat, seeing I am the target audience), and felt really personal.
I admire Alex' vulnerability, and how every story will help his audience feel better about themselves. Gifting this book to someone else will definitely tell them you value them!
What a wonderful book. Alex had one of my favourite Instagram accounts on Instagram and he has helped me understand a lot about myself already. This book added so much to all of his videos.
It is nicely structured, kept my attention easily (no small feat, seeing I am the target audience), and felt really personal.
I admire Alex' vulnerability, and how every story will help his audience feel better about themselves. Gifting this book to someone else will definitely tell them you value them!
Did Not Finish
April 11, 2026Many parts of this really hit home (low self-esteem, hypersensitive to criticism, always assuming others only tolerate me, etc) but the author associates it with ADHD which I don’t think I have. So, in a bit of delicious irony, I gave up on the book because I felt rejected for not being crazy enough. I hope you’re satisfied, Partridge!
April 13, 2026
I’m probably unusual in not receiving this book for free from Netgalley. I pre-ordered it in January while I was reading the excellent Now It All Makes Sense: How an ADHD Diagnosis Brought Clarity to My Life because what the author said about RSD at the time felt rather like somebody handing me the cheat code to my life’s story. I won’t bore you with that story now, except to suggest you’ve not really experienced the full joy of RSD until you’ve tried it in the armed forces of the 1990s for half your life.
As a result, although I’m probably defined by a history of RSD, I’ve also (through necessity) learned to keep my own behaviour very much under control. The outbursts, tantrums and explosions described in this book aren’t necessarily common to all ADHD or RSD brains - they’re just the unrestrained reactions of people who haven’t fully grasped that all behaviour is a choice.
This is a good book, let down by massive one-size-fits-all assertions. For example, despite being an inveterate people pleaser, I never once worked late on my homework, because, despite my dread of being in trouble at school, I simply lacked the executive function to ever do any.
I absolutely agree that RSD is best categorised as the kind of persistent certainty that everyone you interact with dislikes you, wishes you weren’t there, and quietly rolls their eyes whenever you enter their sight line. That even your closest friends only tolerate you because they’re too nice to be honest, and that you’re only ever one phone call away from being fired. But I can’t subscribe to the author’s claim that RSD is the “worst” aspect of everybody’s ADHD symptoms. RSD cost me 2 good jobs and probably a marriage, but I’d take the pain of RSD ten times over, when compared to the constant, crushing drag of unanswerable limerence.
Oh, and I think there’s also probably a missed opportunity in not discussing the detrimental effects of RSD on a healthy sex life. I can’t believe none of the thousands of correspondents ever went there.
As a result, although I’m probably defined by a history of RSD, I’ve also (through necessity) learned to keep my own behaviour very much under control. The outbursts, tantrums and explosions described in this book aren’t necessarily common to all ADHD or RSD brains - they’re just the unrestrained reactions of people who haven’t fully grasped that all behaviour is a choice.
This is a good book, let down by massive one-size-fits-all assertions. For example, despite being an inveterate people pleaser, I never once worked late on my homework, because, despite my dread of being in trouble at school, I simply lacked the executive function to ever do any.
I absolutely agree that RSD is best categorised as the kind of persistent certainty that everyone you interact with dislikes you, wishes you weren’t there, and quietly rolls their eyes whenever you enter their sight line. That even your closest friends only tolerate you because they’re too nice to be honest, and that you’re only ever one phone call away from being fired. But I can’t subscribe to the author’s claim that RSD is the “worst” aspect of everybody’s ADHD symptoms. RSD cost me 2 good jobs and probably a marriage, but I’d take the pain of RSD ten times over, when compared to the constant, crushing drag of unanswerable limerence.
Oh, and I think there’s also probably a missed opportunity in not discussing the detrimental effects of RSD on a healthy sex life. I can’t believe none of the thousands of correspondents ever went there.
March 20, 2026
I absolutely loved this book — a complete 5-star read for me.
Thank you so much to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me to read this, because honestly, it has been incredibly validating. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been told I’m “too sensitive,” “too lazy,” or just “too much,” and I’ve carried that with me my entire life. Reading this book felt like someone had finally put my exact thoughts and feelings into words.
Every single page resonated deeply. The way it explains interactions with others, the constant overthinking, and that persistent feeling of “have I done something wrong?” hit so close to home. I’ve always found myself replaying conversations in my head or worrying that people secretly dislike me — even those closest to me. This book made me realise that these feelings aren’t just me being overly sensitive; they’re part of something real and valid.
The sections on rejection and people-pleasing especially stood out. Feeling left out, not knowing what to say in group situations, or taking things to heart when plans don’t include you — these are experiences I’ve always struggled with and blamed myself for. It was honestly such a relief to see them acknowledged and explained in a way that made sense.
More than anything, this book made me feel seen. It reassured me that I’m not “too much” — I’m just someone who experiences things deeply, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I would highly recommend this to anyone who has ever felt misunderstood, overly sensitive, or like they’re constantly second-guessing themselves. It’s comforting, eye-opening, and incredibly validating.
Thank you so much to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me to read this, because honestly, it has been incredibly validating. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been told I’m “too sensitive,” “too lazy,” or just “too much,” and I’ve carried that with me my entire life. Reading this book felt like someone had finally put my exact thoughts and feelings into words.
Every single page resonated deeply. The way it explains interactions with others, the constant overthinking, and that persistent feeling of “have I done something wrong?” hit so close to home. I’ve always found myself replaying conversations in my head or worrying that people secretly dislike me — even those closest to me. This book made me realise that these feelings aren’t just me being overly sensitive; they’re part of something real and valid.
The sections on rejection and people-pleasing especially stood out. Feeling left out, not knowing what to say in group situations, or taking things to heart when plans don’t include you — these are experiences I’ve always struggled with and blamed myself for. It was honestly such a relief to see them acknowledged and explained in a way that made sense.
More than anything, this book made me feel seen. It reassured me that I’m not “too much” — I’m just someone who experiences things deeply, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I would highly recommend this to anyone who has ever felt misunderstood, overly sensitive, or like they’re constantly second-guessing themselves. It’s comforting, eye-opening, and incredibly validating.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I follow Alex on social media so his views and knowledge on ADHD aren't quite new. And this is the exact reason I wanted to read his book because his social media posts have always been spot on descriptions of my own life. He actually contributed quite a bit of me filling in an ADHD questionnaire at work, and low and behold...my score went through the roof.
This book is a next level personal attack 😁 I started wondering if he has been living with me, observing me, I just haven't noticed it yet. I love his analytical mind, breaking down everyday situations and explaining them from the ADHD/RSD perspective. It certainly explained a lot of things from my 40 something years, when I just couldn't understand why I didn't fit in and thought that there was something wrong with me. Well, it turns out, there is, but it's normal 😊
I highly recommend this book, it's entertaining, it' funny, it's educational, it's reflective. It reminds me of Dean Burnette's The Idiot Brain.
Thank you NetGalley and Alex for the ARC, great book!
This book is a next level personal attack 😁 I started wondering if he has been living with me, observing me, I just haven't noticed it yet. I love his analytical mind, breaking down everyday situations and explaining them from the ADHD/RSD perspective. It certainly explained a lot of things from my 40 something years, when I just couldn't understand why I didn't fit in and thought that there was something wrong with me. Well, it turns out, there is, but it's normal 😊
I highly recommend this book, it's entertaining, it' funny, it's educational, it's reflective. It reminds me of Dean Burnette's The Idiot Brain.
Thank you NetGalley and Alex for the ARC, great book!
Read
April 5, 2026Whew! Ok so much to say here. This book was completely frustrating for me until the last chapter. As an RSD-haver, and a therapist who specializes in ADHD, this information was not completely new to me. This book would be a good jumping off point for anyone just learning about RSD and how it shows up for them. I love Alex’s podcast and was looking forward to reading this as RSD is such a new concept.
What frustrated me was how much sounded like severe anxiety, trauma, severe anxious attachment and people who have learned no coping skills. That’s not to say that RSD isn’t real, it very much is, but many of the personal examples of the author or other people, were deeply rooted in the trauma that understandably comes with growing up as a neurodivergent child and all the criticism you receive. It reaffirmed the importance of people getting professional support to learn how to cope and how to build their self worth to not let RSD control your every move.
I finally exhaled when I reached the last chapter when Alex acknowledges that RSD dies when self respect grows. Yes!!! Yes. That’s what I was screaming to myself throughout the rest of the book. “A person who truly respects themselves is resilient to criticism because they know their worth; they don’t hold the opinions of others over that sense of belief” YES. We need to learn how to cope, take agency of our behaviors and evolve beyond acting as the traumatized or rejected child we used to be.
I noted down a few helpful strategies which I will use for myself and my clients. And now I can’t wait to unpack my feelings about this book with my therapist haha
What frustrated me was how much sounded like severe anxiety, trauma, severe anxious attachment and people who have learned no coping skills. That’s not to say that RSD isn’t real, it very much is, but many of the personal examples of the author or other people, were deeply rooted in the trauma that understandably comes with growing up as a neurodivergent child and all the criticism you receive. It reaffirmed the importance of people getting professional support to learn how to cope and how to build their self worth to not let RSD control your every move.
I finally exhaled when I reached the last chapter when Alex acknowledges that RSD dies when self respect grows. Yes!!! Yes. That’s what I was screaming to myself throughout the rest of the book. “A person who truly respects themselves is resilient to criticism because they know their worth; they don’t hold the opinions of others over that sense of belief” YES. We need to learn how to cope, take agency of our behaviors and evolve beyond acting as the traumatized or rejected child we used to be.
I noted down a few helpful strategies which I will use for myself and my clients. And now I can’t wait to unpack my feelings about this book with my therapist haha
Read
March 25, 2026I picked this up because the title alone felt a little too relatable, and honestly, parts of it really hit. There were moments where it put words to feelings I’ve struggled to explain - especially around rejection sensitivity - and that kind of validation is powerful. It made me feel a little less alone and a little more understood, which is always a win.
That said, I had kind of a mixed experience overall. A lot of the insights were helpful, but not necessarily new if you’ve already spent time reading about ADHD or RSD. I kept waiting for something that would feel like a real “aha” or give me a concrete way to handle things differently, and I’m not sure I fully got there.
Some of the advice also felt easier said than done. I understand there’s no magic fix (and the book doesn’t pretend there is), but I did wish for more practical, in-the-moment tools, especially for the spiral-y thoughts this kind of sensitivity can trigger.
Still, I’d absolutely recommend it to someone who’s just starting to understand their brain in this way, or even to partners/friends who want a better window into it. It’s a quick, validating read—even if it didn’t completely change the game for me.
Thanks John Murray Press and Netgalley for the ARC!
That said, I had kind of a mixed experience overall. A lot of the insights were helpful, but not necessarily new if you’ve already spent time reading about ADHD or RSD. I kept waiting for something that would feel like a real “aha” or give me a concrete way to handle things differently, and I’m not sure I fully got there.
Some of the advice also felt easier said than done. I understand there’s no magic fix (and the book doesn’t pretend there is), but I did wish for more practical, in-the-moment tools, especially for the spiral-y thoughts this kind of sensitivity can trigger.
Still, I’d absolutely recommend it to someone who’s just starting to understand their brain in this way, or even to partners/friends who want a better window into it. It’s a quick, validating read—even if it didn’t completely change the game for me.
Thanks John Murray Press and Netgalley for the ARC!
April 14, 2026
Was a good way to understand myself and others. Will definitely take on some ways of coping with RSD
January 25, 2026
3.5 stars rounded up.
This book offers a much-needed and insightful look into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and the impact it can have, particularly for people with ADHD. It does an excellent job of helping readers understand why we react the way we do, identify our triggers, and feel less alone in those experiences. I found the content extremely validating, and I appreciated the practical strategies provided that readers can begin to apply in their own lives.
The personal anecdotes were a standout and felt very relatable, adding warmth and authenticity to the material.
That said, the book was extremely repetitive at times, which made it difficult to maintain focus—somewhat ironic given that it’s written for an ADHD audience. While the repetition may be helpful for some readers, it occasionally detracted from the overall reading experience for me.
Overall, this is a helpful and affirming resource for anyone seeking to better understand RSD, even if it could benefit from tighter editing.
Thanks to NetGalley for the e-Arc.
This book offers a much-needed and insightful look into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and the impact it can have, particularly for people with ADHD. It does an excellent job of helping readers understand why we react the way we do, identify our triggers, and feel less alone in those experiences. I found the content extremely validating, and I appreciated the practical strategies provided that readers can begin to apply in their own lives.
The personal anecdotes were a standout and felt very relatable, adding warmth and authenticity to the material.
That said, the book was extremely repetitive at times, which made it difficult to maintain focus—somewhat ironic given that it’s written for an ADHD audience. While the repetition may be helpful for some readers, it occasionally detracted from the overall reading experience for me.
Overall, this is a helpful and affirming resource for anyone seeking to better understand RSD, even if it could benefit from tighter editing.
Thanks to NetGalley for the e-Arc.
February 5, 2026
I struggled with this one ONLY because I related to it SO MUCH….only issue is I don’t have ADHD. I do have an anxiety disorder and saw myself in the majority of these scenarios. I don’t want to invalidate individuals that do have RSD and ADHD, however, I wish the author would go more in depth into how “normal” rejection sensitivity feels and how RSD feels. I did Google RSD because I am a mental health therapist and never heard of it before (it’s good to know these terms) and Google informed me that RSD can be felt with many other disorders other than ADHD.
Overall, I felt the book was relatable and informative in how debilitating the desperate need to be liked and accepted can really be.
Thank you NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review
Overall, I felt the book was relatable and informative in how debilitating the desperate need to be liked and accepted can really be.
Thank you NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review
March 25, 2026
Thank you to NetGalley and John Murray Press for the eARC.
I started reading Why Does Everybody Hate Me? early in the year because I wanted to set the tone for 2026. I’ve known I have ADHD for a while, but it always felt a little different for me. Something about the way I react to things never quite lined up with the typical explanations.
This book helped connect those dots.
Learning about rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) resonated with me more than I expected. It explained a lot about why certain situations feel so intense and why the fear of rejection can show up even when nothing has actually happened.
Since reading it, I’ve noticed a real shift in how I approach things. I’m an educator, and while I still sometimes worry about how I’ll be received, I’m better at pushing through that feeling instead of shutting down. Recently I took a big leap toward a goal I’d been nervous about, convinced the answer would be no—but instead my bosses loved that I initiated the conversation and gave me a big yes.
This book gave me clarity around ADHD and RSD in a way that felt validating and practical. I can absolutely see myself returning to it whenever I need a reminder not to let the fear of rejection hold me back.
I started reading Why Does Everybody Hate Me? early in the year because I wanted to set the tone for 2026. I’ve known I have ADHD for a while, but it always felt a little different for me. Something about the way I react to things never quite lined up with the typical explanations.
This book helped connect those dots.
Learning about rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) resonated with me more than I expected. It explained a lot about why certain situations feel so intense and why the fear of rejection can show up even when nothing has actually happened.
Since reading it, I’ve noticed a real shift in how I approach things. I’m an educator, and while I still sometimes worry about how I’ll be received, I’m better at pushing through that feeling instead of shutting down. Recently I took a big leap toward a goal I’d been nervous about, convinced the answer would be no—but instead my bosses loved that I initiated the conversation and gave me a big yes.
This book gave me clarity around ADHD and RSD in a way that felt validating and practical. I can absolutely see myself returning to it whenever I need a reminder not to let the fear of rejection hold me back.
March 29, 2026
This is a must read for anyone with ADHD or someone who simply wants to understand people with ADHD more.
I was aware of RSD knowing it to be an issue of mine, now I have the tools to help me going forward, to recognise what is real and what is RSD.
So much of this book resonated with me, to know there are many people feeling the same, takes a little bit of shame away.
I was aware of RSD knowing it to be an issue of mine, now I have the tools to help me going forward, to recognise what is real and what is RSD.
So much of this book resonated with me, to know there are many people feeling the same, takes a little bit of shame away.
April 18, 2026
If you’ve ever thought the phrase that makes up the title of this book, please, give it a read. It has opened my eyes to so many patterns that have affected my life in negative ways. It will be one I return to again and again.
April 5, 2026
If you or your loved one has ADHD, most likely she or he is suffering from RSD. RSD is the most difficult part of ADHD and the least recognized and researched. This book is a good starter to understand it better, be aware of it, and put concrete strategies in place to overcome the impact of RSD.
April 2, 2026
Some good bits of info. Way too repetitive and prescriptive for me though. But in general it's informative.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
A real eye opener
March 30, 2026
so thankful my mum bought me this. truly the therapy I needed to better understand the worst side effect of adhd. excited to check out Alex’s podcast
April 8, 2026
A few things to keep in mind about this book.
The author is a social media influencer with an ADHD podcast. He is not a clinician, researcher, or credentialed expert in the field, and the book is full of unsubstantiated claims.
Treat this book as validation that your RSD experiences are real and not invisible, nothing more. Don’t consider it a guide to managing or interpreting RSD. Plenty of readers have had ADHD diagnoses for years or decades, while the author keeps reminding you that his own diagnosis is only three years old. A lot of what he presents as insight or “fact” is still new and novel to him and not necessarily accurate.
This book would have been more appropriate with a premise like, “What I’ve Learned About RSD in Three Years of Hosting a Podcast.” He would have stayed in his lane, cited the clinicians he interviewed, and clearly separated his own experience from what experts told him. Instead, he writes like he's the authority.
There are many books on RSD by credentialed professionals who have research to support their claims. Your best bet is to start there.
Red flags in this book:
🚩 No citations, no bibliography, no clinical or research grounding.
This book makes a lot of broad claims about ADHD, rejection sensitivity, shame, perfectionism, burnout, and emotional dysregulation and NONE of them have ANY sourcing behind it. The “20,000 criticisms” line gets repeated over and over, but there's no citation to a study. Claims like “left unchecked, RSD can cause more damage to someone’s life than any of the executive functioning challenges that come with an ADHD brain” and “the most painful and most damaging thing about RSD is what comes immediately after the trigger, a feeling of immeasurable shame” are written without supporting evidence. No bibliography. No research trail. No reason to trust any of it as authority.
🚩 Memoir voice disguised as authority.
Because this book lacked sufficient research, it should've been written as a first person memoir because the author drags the reader through his own diagnosis, reactions, and interpretations, but frames them as "you" statements. As if these exact things happened to you, and you're expected to relate to and validate the author. Unfortunately, the author writing about RSD and ADHD to the reader as if he discovered them himself. This book would actually be more "credible" and reputable if he'd taken the time to cite sources for his claims.
🚩 Constant “we/you” generalizations from one person’s experience.
In addition to the lack of sourced claims, the author treats his personal reactions like universal truth, to which you're expected to relate. He writes things like ADHD people are “deep emotional communicators,” that “an uncomfortable conversation is always a confrontation,” that people with RSD “always defer to someone else’s opinions,” and that “their all-or-nothing dysregulated way of thinking doesn’t allow for nuance.” No, ADHD people do not all have the same RSD experiences that you do, and it gets repetitive and monotonous. He shouldn't be talking about “we” or “you,” in these cases only “I.”
🚩 RSD used as a dumping ground for anxiety, perfectionism, communication problems, burnout, people-pleasing, and emotional immaturity.
This is another problematic pattern in the book. Almost every challenging life experience gets shoved into the RSD bucket. Catastrophizing after a “call me” text is treated like RSD when it can just as easily be anxiety. Researching holidays until you burn out gets treated like RSD when it sounds more like emotional dysregulation, perfectionism, indecision, or executive dysfunction. Avoiding conversations, people-pleasing, not advocating for yourself, struggling with conflict, reading too much into tone, spiraling over a coworker saying “morning” coldly, even contract-signing disasters and alcohol abuse all get pulled into the same vague concept instead of separate issues they are. Not everything is RSD.
🚩 Generic self-help dressed up as RSD strategy.
The author tries to offer some “practical strategies,” but the advice is entry-level self-help blog articles. “Give your strong feelings a name.” “Remove yourself from the situation.” “Remind yourself how valuable you are.” “Look at a list of your achievements.” “Use affirmations.” 🤦 This isn't groundbreaking insight into RSD. This is recycled self-help filler. Same with “can I let you know tomorrow?” instead of saying yes right away. That is basic assertiveness training, not a major breakthrough.
🚩 Partner-management and reassurance-seeking framed like solutions.
This book's relationship advice boils down to teaching your partner how to manage you, reassure you, cushion things for you, and avoid triggering you. This advice is especially troubling. The book includes a script to tell your partner, “you know I have ADHD right? a big part of the ADHD experience is something called RSD…” goes on and on explaining why he may get angry or sad and why he needs extra reassurance. It's not healthy in a relationship to shift the burden of yourself regulation onto the other person. The same thing happens with the advice to say, “I’ve been triggered, I’ll be back in 30 minutes," which effectively abandons the other person mid-interaction and frames them as the cause.
🚩 Male privilege all through the dating, safety, and relationship examples.
I’m sure a lot of women with ADHD will read this book, and this is one of the most icky and offensive parts of it. The author writes from a male-privileged perspective and keeps exposing it without seeming to realize it. Example: “How many times have you wanted to say no at the end of a first date but you said yes because you didn’t want to offend the person?” For many women, the issue is not offending someone. It’s not knowing whether the person you say no to will respect that or violate your safety. 💀 Any woman, RSD or not, has fawned when the situation felt like it could become threatening. Same with his example about someone wanting to take a kiss further and RSD making you stay silent when a “normal” person would say “we should stop.” No. If only life were easy enough that “no” was respected. The author keeps framing rejection and boundaries like discomfort problems when, for women, they are often survival problems that have nothing to do with RSD.
🚩 Almost no awareness of women’s experience or gender roles.
As you might have guessed by now, the book almost completely omits how gender changes the entire picture. It tries to frame emotional labor, over-accommodating, softening yourself, staying agreeable, being the emotional outlet for others, struggling to set boundaries, navigating coercion, and appeasement for safety as RSD problems. That’s not some special RSD revelation. That’s everyday life for a lot of women.
The author keeps insisting his experience represents everyone else’s, but a privileged male perspective can’t explain women’s reality here. A more credible version of this book would have had a woman co-write it or at least challenge some of these blind spots.
Note: About a week before this book was published, he released an episode about “female ADHD” — not women’s ADHD — and it was just him and another male talking about women’s experiences. Apparently, he saw no problem repeating the same pattern of men excluding women from conversations about their own experiences.
🚩 Audience size and podcast comments treated like credibility.
The author keeps leaning on the idea that he's “spoken to 100,000 people” through the podcast. It may feel credible to him, but podcast and YouTube comments, DMs, and audience engagement don't equal research. That's not a study population, clinical work, or documented evidence.
🚩 Tone sliding into clinician / therapy voice without the qualifications to back it up.
The farther the book goes, the more the author starts sounding like a therapist guiding the reader through emotional healing. Page 44 is one of the clearest examples: “every time you listen to that voice, you’re validating its existence… you’re traveling back in time metaphorically putting your arms around yourself and whispering in your own ear, don’t listen to those 20,000 criticisms, you’re enough.” It would be more appropriate to frame it as "every time I listen to that voice, I'm validating its existence..." The spoon-feeding of his experience as gospel gets old.
I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
The author is a social media influencer with an ADHD podcast. He is not a clinician, researcher, or credentialed expert in the field, and the book is full of unsubstantiated claims.
Treat this book as validation that your RSD experiences are real and not invisible, nothing more. Don’t consider it a guide to managing or interpreting RSD. Plenty of readers have had ADHD diagnoses for years or decades, while the author keeps reminding you that his own diagnosis is only three years old. A lot of what he presents as insight or “fact” is still new and novel to him and not necessarily accurate.
This book would have been more appropriate with a premise like, “What I’ve Learned About RSD in Three Years of Hosting a Podcast.” He would have stayed in his lane, cited the clinicians he interviewed, and clearly separated his own experience from what experts told him. Instead, he writes like he's the authority.
There are many books on RSD by credentialed professionals who have research to support their claims. Your best bet is to start there.
Red flags in this book:
🚩 No citations, no bibliography, no clinical or research grounding.
This book makes a lot of broad claims about ADHD, rejection sensitivity, shame, perfectionism, burnout, and emotional dysregulation and NONE of them have ANY sourcing behind it. The “20,000 criticisms” line gets repeated over and over, but there's no citation to a study. Claims like “left unchecked, RSD can cause more damage to someone’s life than any of the executive functioning challenges that come with an ADHD brain” and “the most painful and most damaging thing about RSD is what comes immediately after the trigger, a feeling of immeasurable shame” are written without supporting evidence. No bibliography. No research trail. No reason to trust any of it as authority.
🚩 Memoir voice disguised as authority.
Because this book lacked sufficient research, it should've been written as a first person memoir because the author drags the reader through his own diagnosis, reactions, and interpretations, but frames them as "you" statements. As if these exact things happened to you, and you're expected to relate to and validate the author. Unfortunately, the author writing about RSD and ADHD to the reader as if he discovered them himself. This book would actually be more "credible" and reputable if he'd taken the time to cite sources for his claims.
🚩 Constant “we/you” generalizations from one person’s experience.
In addition to the lack of sourced claims, the author treats his personal reactions like universal truth, to which you're expected to relate. He writes things like ADHD people are “deep emotional communicators,” that “an uncomfortable conversation is always a confrontation,” that people with RSD “always defer to someone else’s opinions,” and that “their all-or-nothing dysregulated way of thinking doesn’t allow for nuance.” No, ADHD people do not all have the same RSD experiences that you do, and it gets repetitive and monotonous. He shouldn't be talking about “we” or “you,” in these cases only “I.”
🚩 RSD used as a dumping ground for anxiety, perfectionism, communication problems, burnout, people-pleasing, and emotional immaturity.
This is another problematic pattern in the book. Almost every challenging life experience gets shoved into the RSD bucket. Catastrophizing after a “call me” text is treated like RSD when it can just as easily be anxiety. Researching holidays until you burn out gets treated like RSD when it sounds more like emotional dysregulation, perfectionism, indecision, or executive dysfunction. Avoiding conversations, people-pleasing, not advocating for yourself, struggling with conflict, reading too much into tone, spiraling over a coworker saying “morning” coldly, even contract-signing disasters and alcohol abuse all get pulled into the same vague concept instead of separate issues they are. Not everything is RSD.
🚩 Generic self-help dressed up as RSD strategy.
The author tries to offer some “practical strategies,” but the advice is entry-level self-help blog articles. “Give your strong feelings a name.” “Remove yourself from the situation.” “Remind yourself how valuable you are.” “Look at a list of your achievements.” “Use affirmations.” 🤦 This isn't groundbreaking insight into RSD. This is recycled self-help filler. Same with “can I let you know tomorrow?” instead of saying yes right away. That is basic assertiveness training, not a major breakthrough.
🚩 Partner-management and reassurance-seeking framed like solutions.
This book's relationship advice boils down to teaching your partner how to manage you, reassure you, cushion things for you, and avoid triggering you. This advice is especially troubling. The book includes a script to tell your partner, “you know I have ADHD right? a big part of the ADHD experience is something called RSD…” goes on and on explaining why he may get angry or sad and why he needs extra reassurance. It's not healthy in a relationship to shift the burden of yourself regulation onto the other person. The same thing happens with the advice to say, “I’ve been triggered, I’ll be back in 30 minutes," which effectively abandons the other person mid-interaction and frames them as the cause.
🚩 Male privilege all through the dating, safety, and relationship examples.
I’m sure a lot of women with ADHD will read this book, and this is one of the most icky and offensive parts of it. The author writes from a male-privileged perspective and keeps exposing it without seeming to realize it. Example: “How many times have you wanted to say no at the end of a first date but you said yes because you didn’t want to offend the person?” For many women, the issue is not offending someone. It’s not knowing whether the person you say no to will respect that or violate your safety. 💀 Any woman, RSD or not, has fawned when the situation felt like it could become threatening. Same with his example about someone wanting to take a kiss further and RSD making you stay silent when a “normal” person would say “we should stop.” No. If only life were easy enough that “no” was respected. The author keeps framing rejection and boundaries like discomfort problems when, for women, they are often survival problems that have nothing to do with RSD.
🚩 Almost no awareness of women’s experience or gender roles.
As you might have guessed by now, the book almost completely omits how gender changes the entire picture. It tries to frame emotional labor, over-accommodating, softening yourself, staying agreeable, being the emotional outlet for others, struggling to set boundaries, navigating coercion, and appeasement for safety as RSD problems. That’s not some special RSD revelation. That’s everyday life for a lot of women.
The author keeps insisting his experience represents everyone else’s, but a privileged male perspective can’t explain women’s reality here. A more credible version of this book would have had a woman co-write it or at least challenge some of these blind spots.
Note: About a week before this book was published, he released an episode about “female ADHD” — not women’s ADHD — and it was just him and another male talking about women’s experiences. Apparently, he saw no problem repeating the same pattern of men excluding women from conversations about their own experiences.
🚩 Audience size and podcast comments treated like credibility.
The author keeps leaning on the idea that he's “spoken to 100,000 people” through the podcast. It may feel credible to him, but podcast and YouTube comments, DMs, and audience engagement don't equal research. That's not a study population, clinical work, or documented evidence.
🚩 Tone sliding into clinician / therapy voice without the qualifications to back it up.
The farther the book goes, the more the author starts sounding like a therapist guiding the reader through emotional healing. Page 44 is one of the clearest examples: “every time you listen to that voice, you’re validating its existence… you’re traveling back in time metaphorically putting your arms around yourself and whispering in your own ear, don’t listen to those 20,000 criticisms, you’re enough.” It would be more appropriate to frame it as "every time I listen to that voice, I'm validating its existence..." The spoon-feeding of his experience as gospel gets old.
I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
DNF at 42%
It's funny that this book is targeted at ADHD, because this book basically does not get to the damn point. It sketches out loads and loads of hypothetical situations and barely gives any advice on how to actually cope. Some might find it nice to have that material, but it's just not for me.
It's funny that this book is targeted at ADHD, because this book basically does not get to the damn point. It sketches out loads and loads of hypothetical situations and barely gives any advice on how to actually cope. Some might find it nice to have that material, but it's just not for me.
April 13, 2026
I have some really mixed thoughts on this book (I wish I could give 3.5 stars instead of having to choose between 3 or 4). This is seemingly a little-known topic, and so this book provides an introduction in an easy, digestible way to those who may suffer from RSD and have had little understanding of how and why they have felt how they've felt. If this is a fully new concept to someone with ADHD, I can understand how this may entirely shift their perspective and seem eye-opening.
However, like other reviews, I think I struggled with the presentation of a singular person's experience as universal to those with RSD in some form or ADHD. As someone with ADHD and also trauma, there were emotions and responses that I identify with in reading this book, and also many situations I do not personally see myself in. The statement re: attributing RSD to 20,000 negative comments in childhood as fact also didn't seem quite right to me, as I don't think this is my own experience. I am left wanting to further understand RSD outside of its ties to ADHD and in relation to other life circumstances and experiences (such as trauma).
(Maybe this will be the subject of following work, but) I'd like to hear too about how RSD is interpreted by others who don't experience this, and see narratives/advice directed to those who want to understand people whom they love who suffer from RSD - given a core experience of those with RSD seems to be both the concern (and actuality) of being misinterpreted.
All in all, a good read on a misunderstood topic, but also to be viewed critically as one person's experience. For me, this is a 'take what applies and leave the rest' situation.
** Upon reading further reviews, I did want to add I agree with comments regarding lack of clarity between rejection sensitivity and dysphoria (being disproportionate to the event). In this book, I don’t think there is separation as to why people react differently to events due to neurodiversity, trauma, or RSD and how some reactions may be dysphoric where others may be proportional to someone’s internal experiences. An interesting piece on RSD and CPTSD is here: Is It Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria or Complex Trauma? https://jessemeadows.medium.com/is-it...
However, like other reviews, I think I struggled with the presentation of a singular person's experience as universal to those with RSD in some form or ADHD. As someone with ADHD and also trauma, there were emotions and responses that I identify with in reading this book, and also many situations I do not personally see myself in. The statement re: attributing RSD to 20,000 negative comments in childhood as fact also didn't seem quite right to me, as I don't think this is my own experience. I am left wanting to further understand RSD outside of its ties to ADHD and in relation to other life circumstances and experiences (such as trauma).
(Maybe this will be the subject of following work, but) I'd like to hear too about how RSD is interpreted by others who don't experience this, and see narratives/advice directed to those who want to understand people whom they love who suffer from RSD - given a core experience of those with RSD seems to be both the concern (and actuality) of being misinterpreted.
All in all, a good read on a misunderstood topic, but also to be viewed critically as one person's experience. For me, this is a 'take what applies and leave the rest' situation.
** Upon reading further reviews, I did want to add I agree with comments regarding lack of clarity between rejection sensitivity and dysphoria (being disproportionate to the event). In this book, I don’t think there is separation as to why people react differently to events due to neurodiversity, trauma, or RSD and how some reactions may be dysphoric where others may be proportional to someone’s internal experiences. An interesting piece on RSD and CPTSD is here: Is It Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria or Complex Trauma? https://jessemeadows.medium.com/is-it...
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I found this book really insightful and, in many ways, validating. It helped me better understand myself as well as other people, and I think it offers strong representation of ADHD and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). There were moments where it genuinely put words to feelings I’ve struggled to explain for years and part of me wants to give a copy of this book to my partner, my family, and even my boss.
However, while I found the book informative, I didn’t feel like much of the advice was new. A lot of it echoes things I’ve heard before, and while I understand there’s no magic “fix everything” solution, some of the suggestions felt difficult to apply in real life. For example, the idea of simply asking people “are you mad at me?” relies heavily on others being emotionally aware and willing to communicate honestly. In my experience, that’s often not the case. I’m currently in a situation at work where I’m picking up on negative vibes after something happened. I’ve asked directly if there’s an issue and been told no, but the feeling hasn’t gone away. That leaves me stuck in a frustrating loop: either I’m imagining things and overreacting, or they’re not being truthful and there actually is a problem they won’t communicate. The advice doesn’t really account for this grey area, where other people’s communication styles don’t match the level of clarity you’re trying to achieve.
That’s where parts of the book left me feeling a bit hopeless. A lot of the strategies seem to depend on neurotypical people responding in ways that are clear, direct, and emotionally aware. But in reality, many people just aren’t like that. And for those of us with ADHD, that disconnect is often where the struggle comes from in the first place.
Overall, I think this book is powerful in terms of validation and understanding RSD, but less effective when it comes to practical advice that works in messy, real-world situations.
Thanks to netgalley for a E-ARC of this book to read and review. All opinions are my own
However, while I found the book informative, I didn’t feel like much of the advice was new. A lot of it echoes things I’ve heard before, and while I understand there’s no magic “fix everything” solution, some of the suggestions felt difficult to apply in real life. For example, the idea of simply asking people “are you mad at me?” relies heavily on others being emotionally aware and willing to communicate honestly. In my experience, that’s often not the case. I’m currently in a situation at work where I’m picking up on negative vibes after something happened. I’ve asked directly if there’s an issue and been told no, but the feeling hasn’t gone away. That leaves me stuck in a frustrating loop: either I’m imagining things and overreacting, or they’re not being truthful and there actually is a problem they won’t communicate. The advice doesn’t really account for this grey area, where other people’s communication styles don’t match the level of clarity you’re trying to achieve.
That’s where parts of the book left me feeling a bit hopeless. A lot of the strategies seem to depend on neurotypical people responding in ways that are clear, direct, and emotionally aware. But in reality, many people just aren’t like that. And for those of us with ADHD, that disconnect is often where the struggle comes from in the first place.
Overall, I think this book is powerful in terms of validation and understanding RSD, but less effective when it comes to practical advice that works in messy, real-world situations.
Thanks to netgalley for a E-ARC of this book to read and review. All opinions are my own
April 8, 2026
I appreciate receiving early access to this book from Sheldon Press, and to Alex Partridge for responding to the need for this book. I do overall recommend it for late-diagnosed adults with ADHD, but note that it is a first of its kind, and that since there is not much formal research into this, much of the content is based on personal experience.
I found this book to be a great start in the conversation about social struggles and mental health in neurodivergent people. Alex Partridge's exploration of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria in late-diagnosed ADHD adults like himself is much needed and appreciated. I related to many of the experiences he explained as a common symptom many of us share, yet is strangely not included in any form of diagnostic criteria for ADHD. It is validating to finally see it in writing, though the author seems to be primarily speaking about his personal journey
While he states that his findings are based on talking to thousands of fellow ADHDers and professionals in their related fields, very little of their contributions are cited. The few times another’s experience was included, they seemed to be chosen for being an extreme example of reactive thoughts and behavior, similar to Alex’s own experiences. I would have appreciated a more varied appraisal of potential reactions, since ADHD is a spectrum. I often felt disconnected when the author over-generalizes a situation that I don't relate to. His frequent use of phrases starting with “ because we do___” is hard for me to connect with the related point he’s trying to make.
As a late-diagnosed adult with both ADHD and Autism, it was sometimes hard to tell if I was the intended audience of this book. I think it would be worth noting that these two spectrums are often paired, and come with sometimes contradicting symptoms. Also, since neurodivergence is strongly hereditary, many of our experiences have been shaped by the often-undiagnosed adults in our childhood. For some children, this provided more harsh criticisms, and for others compassion.
I found this book to be a great start in the conversation about social struggles and mental health in neurodivergent people. Alex Partridge's exploration of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria in late-diagnosed ADHD adults like himself is much needed and appreciated. I related to many of the experiences he explained as a common symptom many of us share, yet is strangely not included in any form of diagnostic criteria for ADHD. It is validating to finally see it in writing, though the author seems to be primarily speaking about his personal journey
While he states that his findings are based on talking to thousands of fellow ADHDers and professionals in their related fields, very little of their contributions are cited. The few times another’s experience was included, they seemed to be chosen for being an extreme example of reactive thoughts and behavior, similar to Alex’s own experiences. I would have appreciated a more varied appraisal of potential reactions, since ADHD is a spectrum. I often felt disconnected when the author over-generalizes a situation that I don't relate to. His frequent use of phrases starting with “ because we do___” is hard for me to connect with the related point he’s trying to make.
As a late-diagnosed adult with both ADHD and Autism, it was sometimes hard to tell if I was the intended audience of this book. I think it would be worth noting that these two spectrums are often paired, and come with sometimes contradicting symptoms. Also, since neurodivergence is strongly hereditary, many of our experiences have been shaped by the often-undiagnosed adults in our childhood. For some children, this provided more harsh criticisms, and for others compassion.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you so much to Alex Partridge and NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read Why does everybody hate me? as an ARC, I feel changed for the better having read it. I truly believe everyone who is neurodivergent or suspects they could be would benefit from reading this book and I have already recommended it to so many friends who I know share these struggles.
This book is far from the usual fantasy, romance, horror and sci-fi I usually read, and it might be one of the most powerful books I've ever had the joy to read.
I was diagnosed with ADHD late in life after a lifetime of masking my symptoms behind anxiety and perfectionism. It was exhausting and getting a diagnosis as a high achiever who seemingly didn't exhibit the "typical" attention deficit that is applied to all cases of ADHD was far from easy.
Having read this book, if this had been a diagnostic criteria or I'd been asked even one question about RSD in my assessment I truly believe my psychiatrist would not have been so dismissive of my experience with ADHD because it wasn't the "usual" expression of it.
I was moved to tears by this book because it allowed me to finally pull apart my experiences with RSD, while providing techniques I can implement to try to help manage this part of my brain. One of the greatest things that has always helped me was finding out my experience was shared and this book has this in spades.
As a former teacher I wish this book had been around when I was training so I could explain why my classroom was a mess, why I struggled with criticism, and why so many of my students obviously felt the same. The strategies in these books should be taught in schools, offices, universities and included in management training so everyone has the support they need to succeed.
I know this is a book I will revisit and recommend. I look forward to adding it to my toolkit to support my ADHD brain and attempt to be kinder to my inner child.
This book is far from the usual fantasy, romance, horror and sci-fi I usually read, and it might be one of the most powerful books I've ever had the joy to read.
I was diagnosed with ADHD late in life after a lifetime of masking my symptoms behind anxiety and perfectionism. It was exhausting and getting a diagnosis as a high achiever who seemingly didn't exhibit the "typical" attention deficit that is applied to all cases of ADHD was far from easy.
Having read this book, if this had been a diagnostic criteria or I'd been asked even one question about RSD in my assessment I truly believe my psychiatrist would not have been so dismissive of my experience with ADHD because it wasn't the "usual" expression of it.
I was moved to tears by this book because it allowed me to finally pull apart my experiences with RSD, while providing techniques I can implement to try to help manage this part of my brain. One of the greatest things that has always helped me was finding out my experience was shared and this book has this in spades.
As a former teacher I wish this book had been around when I was training so I could explain why my classroom was a mess, why I struggled with criticism, and why so many of my students obviously felt the same. The strategies in these books should be taught in schools, offices, universities and included in management training so everyone has the support they need to succeed.
I know this is a book I will revisit and recommend. I look forward to adding it to my toolkit to support my ADHD brain and attempt to be kinder to my inner child.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thanks to Netgalley and Sheldon Press for the advanced copy
Full disclaimer, I am not diagnosed with ADHD or autism, I do have a "developmental disorder not otherwise specified" one, which is what you will get if you are a woman over 35 in France (it should be on the ASD spectrum, but not in France, I could talk about my country and neurodiversity and women for hours, but now is not the time). I do tick all the boxes of RSD though, which is why I picked up this book.
I agree with the author so much : we don't talk enough about RSD when we talk about ADHD (or neurodiversity in general). Forget executive dysfunction, RSD is probably the hardest part of it all because it makes relationships (all kind of relationships) so much more complicated ; it's also probably a big contributor of burnout because it is exhausting to overthink social interactions like that.
This book explains what RSD is really well (I truly believe that the best way to beat something is to actually understand it) and why it's so prevalent in people with ADHD and will often be diagnosed as an anxiety disorder. The advice given is really good and can actually also be useful to people with anxiety disorders, when a situation becomes too much the best thing to do is to take a step back and reframe. I do love that the author doesn't promise a cure (there isn't one) or miracles, he just gives tools that worked for him or other people with RSD. You can't get rid of RSD, but you can learn how to live with it and how to make your life better. The part about the workplace was the best one imo, workplace relationships are the trickiest for me
Full disclaimer, I am not diagnosed with ADHD or autism, I do have a "developmental disorder not otherwise specified" one, which is what you will get if you are a woman over 35 in France (it should be on the ASD spectrum, but not in France, I could talk about my country and neurodiversity and women for hours, but now is not the time). I do tick all the boxes of RSD though, which is why I picked up this book.
I agree with the author so much : we don't talk enough about RSD when we talk about ADHD (or neurodiversity in general). Forget executive dysfunction, RSD is probably the hardest part of it all because it makes relationships (all kind of relationships) so much more complicated ; it's also probably a big contributor of burnout because it is exhausting to overthink social interactions like that.
This book explains what RSD is really well (I truly believe that the best way to beat something is to actually understand it) and why it's so prevalent in people with ADHD and will often be diagnosed as an anxiety disorder. The advice given is really good and can actually also be useful to people with anxiety disorders, when a situation becomes too much the best thing to do is to take a step back and reframe. I do love that the author doesn't promise a cure (there isn't one) or miracles, he just gives tools that worked for him or other people with RSD. You can't get rid of RSD, but you can learn how to live with it and how to make your life better. The part about the workplace was the best one imo, workplace relationships are the trickiest for me
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
4.5 ⭐ rounded up
This book was very relatable! I struggle with RSD as part of my ADHD and found myself nodding along and saying "yep, yep!" at multiple parts. Also, "ten highly caffeinated squirrels running around my brain" is exactly how I would describe my brain too!
RSD is not new to me; it's something I learnt about a long time ago when I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. Over the years my RSD has greatly improved due to management strategies, however I do still struggle with it and I did appreciate the strategies laid out in the book. I think they will be beneficial to many ADHDers. Personally I would have preferred if they were in a separate section rather than interspersed throughout the book, just for ease of finding them.
I especially liked that the author include a small section and some strategies for ADHD parents with RSD, of ADHD children with RSD. The challenges of being a neurodivergent (ND) parent of an ND child are not discussed enough and many self-help books leave this out.
The book does have a lot of personal anecdotes in, which I liked as I found many of them relatable. However, those who don't like personal anecdotes in their self-help books may not appreciate this.
Overall, I thought this was a great exploration of RSD that really explains how debilitating it can be. It also does a good job of providing clear and useful strategies in an accessible way. I think this book will resonate with a great deal of ADHDers!
Thank you to Netgalley, the publisher and the author for the ARC in exchange for an honest review
This book was very relatable! I struggle with RSD as part of my ADHD and found myself nodding along and saying "yep, yep!" at multiple parts. Also, "ten highly caffeinated squirrels running around my brain" is exactly how I would describe my brain too!
RSD is not new to me; it's something I learnt about a long time ago when I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. Over the years my RSD has greatly improved due to management strategies, however I do still struggle with it and I did appreciate the strategies laid out in the book. I think they will be beneficial to many ADHDers. Personally I would have preferred if they were in a separate section rather than interspersed throughout the book, just for ease of finding them.
I especially liked that the author include a small section and some strategies for ADHD parents with RSD, of ADHD children with RSD. The challenges of being a neurodivergent (ND) parent of an ND child are not discussed enough and many self-help books leave this out.
The book does have a lot of personal anecdotes in, which I liked as I found many of them relatable. However, those who don't like personal anecdotes in their self-help books may not appreciate this.
Overall, I thought this was a great exploration of RSD that really explains how debilitating it can be. It also does a good job of providing clear and useful strategies in an accessible way. I think this book will resonate with a great deal of ADHDers!
Thank you to Netgalley, the publisher and the author for the ARC in exchange for an honest review
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
It's nice to see yourself being seen.
Did you know the average person with ADHD receives 20,000 criticisms by the time they are 12? 20,000 negative comments about who you are before you hit puberty. Can you imagine?
I can. I, like the author, was diagnosed with ADHD late in life at 26 years old. Since then I have been learning so many things about myself. Like I have RSD, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Every tone change or facial expression in a conversation can be construed as a criticism that will debilitate me, often times making me lash out.
Does this sound familiar? Then this book is for you too!
It was great to be validated in my own thoughts and feelings. It was great to hear I am not broken or alone. It was great to hear what others with RSD do to help combat it on a daily basis so I can use those tools too.
I have followed Partridge's videos for about a year now and they always hit me so hard but not as hard as this book did. I cried many times and had to put the book down because it saw me so clearly.
My favorite line of the book, and the first to make me cry, "But RSD is wrong- everyone doesn't hate you. In face, the only person who hates you is you."
I just teared up again typing that.
Thank you Alex Partridge for writing this book. I think it is going to help so many people who have or love someone who has ADHD to live less painful lives.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the eARC of Why Does Everybody Hate Me?
Did you know the average person with ADHD receives 20,000 criticisms by the time they are 12? 20,000 negative comments about who you are before you hit puberty. Can you imagine?
I can. I, like the author, was diagnosed with ADHD late in life at 26 years old. Since then I have been learning so many things about myself. Like I have RSD, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Every tone change or facial expression in a conversation can be construed as a criticism that will debilitate me, often times making me lash out.
Does this sound familiar? Then this book is for you too!
It was great to be validated in my own thoughts and feelings. It was great to hear I am not broken or alone. It was great to hear what others with RSD do to help combat it on a daily basis so I can use those tools too.
I have followed Partridge's videos for about a year now and they always hit me so hard but not as hard as this book did. I cried many times and had to put the book down because it saw me so clearly.
My favorite line of the book, and the first to make me cry, "But RSD is wrong- everyone doesn't hate you. In face, the only person who hates you is you."
I just teared up again typing that.
Thank you Alex Partridge for writing this book. I think it is going to help so many people who have or love someone who has ADHD to live less painful lives.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the eARC of Why Does Everybody Hate Me?
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
My gratitude to NetGalley and Hachette Mobius for this ARC.
In this accessible and conversational book, Alex Partridge explores Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a form of emotional dysregulation that many people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) report experiencing.
Because RSD is not currently recognized as an official diagnosis in the DSM, research on the topic remains limited, and that gap becomes noticeable throughout the book. Partridge draws heavily on personal experiences and conversations with individuals who identify with RSD, which helps illustrate how deeply these feelings can affect people’s lives. However, I did find myself wishing for more input from clinicians or researchers to provide additional context and scientific grounding.
At times the discussion felt somewhat repetitive, and the insights presented were not always as in-depth as I had hoped. Still, the book succeeds in opening the door to a topic that many readers may not yet be familiar with.
Overall, I think this serves as a solid introductory read for anyone who is new to discussions about ADHD and rejection sensitivity. Increasing awareness is an important first step toward understanding neurodivergent experiences, and this book contributes to that conversation in an approachable way.
In this accessible and conversational book, Alex Partridge explores Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a form of emotional dysregulation that many people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) report experiencing.
Because RSD is not currently recognized as an official diagnosis in the DSM, research on the topic remains limited, and that gap becomes noticeable throughout the book. Partridge draws heavily on personal experiences and conversations with individuals who identify with RSD, which helps illustrate how deeply these feelings can affect people’s lives. However, I did find myself wishing for more input from clinicians or researchers to provide additional context and scientific grounding.
At times the discussion felt somewhat repetitive, and the insights presented were not always as in-depth as I had hoped. Still, the book succeeds in opening the door to a topic that many readers may not yet be familiar with.
Overall, I think this serves as a solid introductory read for anyone who is new to discussions about ADHD and rejection sensitivity. Increasing awareness is an important first step toward understanding neurodivergent experiences, and this book contributes to that conversation in an approachable way.
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