Orgsm, A Memoir | Inside the Matriarchal Cult of OneTaste: The True Story Behind the Federal Conviction | What Netflix Didn't Show You

by Ruwan Meepagala

An insider's true story of the "Orgasm cult” - written in the shadow of the 2025 federal conviction.

At twenty-four, he was broke, anxious, and sexually dysfunctional. A postcard advertising a "Meetup on Female Orgasm" seemed absurd. He went anyway. What he found changed everything.

Within months, he transformed from socially awkward to confident "stroker" living in an orgasm commune in Manhattan. The women were radiant and sexually empowered. The men possessed an almost supernatural ability to "feel" what others wanted. Every conversation was vulnerable. Every moment alive with sensation. It felt like he'd found the cheat codes to human connection.

But there was a price he couldn't see yet.

This raw, untold memoir reveals the real story not covered in Netflix's Orgasm Inc.

The Netflix documentary told you it was a cult.

The Bloomberg investigation exposed the crimes.

The FBI built the case.

But no one has shown you how it actually worked from the inside - until now.

This is the primary source account. Two years inside at the peak.

The complete psychological architecture of how intelligent people get seduced, transformed, and nearly destroyed.

Not a victim interview looking back.

The story shows how intelligent people get trapped in high-control groups. How the same methods used to help people can be weaponized to control them. How trauma and transformation can be impossible to separate.

This is the nuanced, uncomfortable truth that most coverage misses.

Inside These Pages You'll

The insider story of OneTaste's New York expansion from someone who lived in their residence and worked on their teamSophisticated manipulation techniques used by modern high-control groups - explained from the insideThe neuroscience and psychology behind charismatic influence, trauma bonding, and groupthinkPhilosophical questions about free will when your desires have been carefully cultivatedThe full arc from FBI investigation through the 2025 criminal conviction with firsthand testimonyDifficult truths about healing and harm coexisting in the same experienceLittle-known details about power dynamics in matriarchal organizationsWhat Makes This Account

This isn't written by a journalist or distant observer. Ruwan

Lived in OneTaste's Manhattan residence for nearly two years at the peak of their expansion (2012-2014)700+ pages of documented experience written in real-timeWorked as staff, running their Men's Group and social mediaCreated his own OM houseWas threatened and pressured not to publish this bookWas subpoenaed by the defense during the 2025 trialSpent 10+ years processing and documenting this experiencePerfect For Readers Who

Educated by Tara WestoverThe Game by Neil StraussCultish by Amanda MontellWild Wild CountryGoing Clear by Lawrence Wright Publisher's

This is the limited pre-sentencing edition.

Genres: Cults, Nonfiction

291 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 31, 2025

Reviews

[Chelsey Casey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this was like being sucked into Ruwan's experience in the best possible way. Funny, fun, devastating, deep, yet easy and fast-paced, I could hardly put it down. I love the nuance and reverence of his story, how it grapples with the darkness and the gold, refusing to cast any character into black and white or reduce it into a simple morality tale. The mixture of immersive narrative is peppered with broad context for the ideas and jargon of OneTaste; it's an expert translation of mystical and expansive experiences into words for a wide audience. There are some very poignant metaphors that make it rich with meaning, but as a reader there was no spoon-feeding; it was very up to me what I made of it all. If you love to grapple with hard topics that have a lot of perspectives, geek out on personal development and sexuality, or dive into intimate portraits of complex people, it is a must read.

[Patricia Black · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who’s ever been in a cult or high pressure group will tell you that it’s very hard to convey what goes on inside such groups to those on the outside. The group creates a different model of reality, including its own jargon and rules of behavior, whether explicit or unspoken.

The author has managed to tell the story of his cult experience with a lot of nuance, giving more than a casual glimpse into the inner workings of One Taste, without sensationalism and with a lot of care.

The book was a page turner and will be fascinating both to those who have participated in cults or “culty” groups and to those who find them interesting to learn about.

[Angie F.]

Orgsm, A Memoir by Ruwan Meepagala is an inside look at the OneTaste cult that has been much discussed and covered by the media, including a Netflix documentary. This book offers a unique insider perspective and it is available today.

This memoir is written in a very interesting way. The reader is truly in the author's perspective as he becomes part of OneTaste slowly. More and more concepts get introduced without too much explanation and more and more acronyms are used as the author gets deeper into the structure of this organization/cult. It happens slowly, but at one point almost everything is reduced to acronyms and specialized insider language. It became rather confusing to read in some parts, but I ended up appreciating how the author's bewilderment mirrored my confusion.

Due to the subject matter, the memoir requires extraordinary vulnerability from the author and this one takes great pains to provide a nuanced perspective on how one man became the voice of the female orgasm cult. The chapters are grouped to represent the stages of the orgasm and the author also details the initial appeal of the courses and methods before diving a lot deeper into the very problematic elements including forced labour that were also alluded to in the documentary.

While this structure was clever and I appreciated the reason for the book being written the way that it was, I would have preferred more detail about the trial and the aftermath for the author. This book is being published before sentencing is completed, so the story is not finished.

As mentioned above, this memoir provides a truly unique perspective and I recommend it to those who are interested in the subject matter.

Thank you to the author and Subversalist Publishing for making this memoir available on NetGalley for early review. All opinions are my own.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved Orgsm: A Memoir. It is one of the most fascinating and surprisingly enjoyable books I have read in a long time. What amazed me most is that the author has written a book about being in a cult that is not heavy or depressing. It is emotionally real and intense, but also funny, light on its feet, and full of moments of genuine wonder.
Ruwan never positions himself as a victim. Instead, he invites you into the confusion and beauty of the experience: the connection, the laughter, the feeling of belonging, and then the slow, dawning awareness that something is not quite right. I often found myself thinking, “This actually sounds amazing,” before realizing, along with him, why it was not. That balance is what makes this book so special.
His writing is honest, sharp, and full of charm. He explores the shades of gray in every situation, showing how something that feels like enlightenment can quietly become manipulation. Yet even when the story gets dark, it never loses its sense of curiosity or its strange kind of joy.
I laughed out loud several times, and I finished the book feeling entertained and introspective at the same time. It captures both the magic that draws people into cults and the clarity that comes from waking up.
No matter what genre of books you usually read, I cannot recommend Orgsm: A Memoir highly enough. It is smart, funny, compassionate, and full of life.

[Alutha Jamancar · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is AWESOME!!!! 😮 😮 😮 ❤

I first learned how to OM in April 2006 … and was one of the full-time residents of the original OneTaste (OT) Warehouse during its brief 2-year lifespan. I’m a big fan of Classic OM and have spent years quietly pressing for OneTaste to initiate serious reforms.

Ruwan’s details jive closely with other behind-the-scenes reports that I’ve received over the years from staff, ex-staff, coaching students, and OMers.

Subtle, dryly witty, loaded with details I hadn't heard before, quietly balanced, I found it both honors the OM experience / community … while exposing some of [creepier] the inner workings of OneTaste. Inner workings that directly contributed to a jury finding her guilty in just 2 days of deliberations in June 2025.

Ruwan’s memoir is one of the more gentler ways to get up to speed – for OMers & laypersons alike – with just how much Daedone’s OneTaste went off the rails … while giving readers a taste of just how tragic and unnecessary her misadventures were.

This book will be a great help for people wanting to start untangling the amazing practice of OM … from the corrupt and seedy business culture that Nicole created over time at OneTaste.

Before she went to, you know, jail.

(*PS: I recommend the audiobook edition. Ruwan's voicework adds color in the later chapters … that communicates a LOT to careful listeners!)

[Sharon Day · Rating 5 out of 5]

What happens to the psyche (and a life) when love, sex, approval, and connection are given and withdrawn with calculated precision?

What makes something (or someone) good or bad?

Do ends justify means, when the ends are as profoundly life-changing as these?

With meticulous "nothing extra" prose, and a sharp, curious mind, Ruwan Meepagala walks us clear-eyed straight down the center of a both/and tightrope between cult manipulation and life-transforming expansiveness.

He vividly paints his life inside One Taste, a sexuality-based wellness company, refusing to collapse into the lazy blaming, judging, nor self-victimizing that previous "journalistic" accounts have done.

It’s touching, funny, captivating, and deeply insightful, on the orgasmic ride of clitoris stroking—”the game", and the shadowy "game behind the game”—portrayed as equal parts 100% transformational, and 100% questionable for the underlying darkness.

He maintains firm grasp on the reins, feet planted in the stirrups of this bucking bronco-ride that he willingly saddled up for, even while wrestling with the persistent conundrum (Was it good? Was it bad? Was it both? Was it neither?).

Ruwan doesn’t draw conclusions, but like the masterful coach and writer he has become, draws us into our own deeply reflective introspection.

[Art M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found the book fascinating. It reads like a novel, but it’s actually an honest auto-biographical account of Ruwan’s time deeply involved with One Taste.

One Taste taught an intimate stroking meditative practice, called “Orgasmic Meditation”. It is not designed to necessarily create female climax, but rather to improve the emotional and physical connection between two partners. Fair enough. BUT, was One Taste also a “matriarchal sex cult”? Were the sales tactics too “steamy”? Too manipulative? Here in Ruwan’s book we get a detailed account of his experiences; the story of 2 years devoting his life to the cause, and the decision to leave. Lots of physical and emotional intimacy, with many women. Stories of intricate sales tactics, shall we say.

I found myself envious of Ruwan’s experiences, and even more envious of the skills he developed, while wary of the more culty aspects. “How easy would I be to manipulate?”. “Would it all be worth it?”

Were One Taste’s behaviors illegal? Unethical? Or merely educational, accompanied by a rather enthusiastic sales process? I have to admit that I was surprised when a jury found them guilty of “forced labor”.

Highly recommended.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ruwan tells a story in such a way that the reader is actually brought into the experience that answers that question, “How does someone end up joining a cult?” You see behind the curtain into this odd world of that is a mix of college dorm fun, self-help group therapy and spiritual ashram gone wrong. And just like in real life, you don’t want it to end AND you want to get the hell out all at the same time. Some moments are warm and tender, yet others are brutally harsh where the lines of consent, love, independence, freedom, belonging, are like a mirage on the highway. That’s the piece many miss when trying to understand why someone joins a cult—people join because it’s beautiful and good—until it’s not. And what Ruwan so beautifully shared was that experience of leaving the cult and finding you have to start life over. Find new friends, work, even find what you actually enjoy, gives you meaning and purpose. Thank you for bravely sharing this true story. For others who have made it out too, it’s healing. And hopefully for those considering it, it’s a cautionary tale.

[Apryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I needed to read this book.
You would do well to do so too.
Because it’s an excellent primer on Power - and all those sneaky seductive ways your own power gets drained out of you while you were busy bending over backwards for some “expert” parental figure. Outsourcing power.

See just like the author, just like you, just like basically everyone on this planet, I needed guidance. Life is hard right? The world is big and scary and there’s hardly any road signs that make sense. Just like the author, guidance showed up for me in a tall, sexy, super confidence package that spoke with well paced words and was completely disinterested in listening to any of my basic answers. A fisherman. I was hooked.

So I bought in and bent into whatever shape that guide wanted me, just like Ruwan did with his guide and guru, namely Rachel Cherwitz and Nicole Daedone.

I discovered through this book’s chapters a map through the benefits and pitfalls that come with tying oneself to one guide’s path - the path of a guru, a charismatic person that is just as pathetically human as the rest of us, but they just put on a hellavu great shine and a show for us starving seekers.

I needed to read this book. I needed to know how I drew the map for my own escape by comparing another dude’s journey from the other side with a big sexy mama. My distinctly feminine journey out of a toxic relationship with a patriarchal alpha male shares a LOT of spiritual similarities with Ruwan’s masculine journey out of a matriarchal cult.

I’ll reread again and again cause this book…is textbook y’all. Make sure you understand the assignment cause the pop quizzes happen any day and every day.

[Brenda Fredericks · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was glued to Ruwan’s book from the first page. He tells the story of his time in OneTaste with honesty and nuance. Each part of his journey pulled me in and brought me back to my own experiences there.

Ruwan’s writing holds both the immediacy of what he lived blended with the insight of his current awareness. He reveals the shadowy social dynamics and hierarchy that shaped the community without losing compassion for himself or the reader.

What I admired most about the book was how he held the nuance. My own time in OneTaste was not black and white, and he captured that complexity beautifully. He shares the pain, the shadow, and the genuine gifts that came through the experience. His reflections mirrored many of my own.

Even the way he titled each chapter shows how deeply the experience changed so many of us. The content and teachings held (and hold) truth and richness, but the manipulation and shadow around them are difficult. Ruwan’s book gives space for the duality of both realities, which makes it a powerful and necessary read.

I highly recommend this book to anyone curious about what truly happened inside OneTaste, or to anyone who wants a page-turner about what is possible within the human experience.

[Kaan Yildiz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ruwan has led a remarkably unconventional life. He begins as a deeply relatable, socially anxious man in search of connection, and we witness him shedding layer after layer of himself with each stroke - sometimes painfully, sometimes beautifully.

What made this story so compelling to me isn’t just the cult backdrop or the shocking revelations about OneTaste, but how earnestly Ruwan is able to master himself using their esoteric ideas - which leaves you questioning alongside him where genuine transformation ends and manipulation begins. His sexual breakthroughs and self-awakening come at a heavy cost, yet they feel undeniably authentic.

This isn’t just an exposé; it’s a raw, self-aware exploration of human longing and the blurry line between awakening and delusion. A must-read for anyone fascinated by the psychology of cults.

[David Bransky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Upon reading this book, I related very well to Ruwan and his struggle to find himself. When daily living is colored with shame, negativity, inhibition to name a few, it makes sense why one would go to the extreme to break out of that reality. Not only was the rhythm of the storytelling itself engaging, but the dialogue between characters felt real and natural. It made it very to picture myself along with them for the ride. As the story progresses, the reader will witness the outer reality of One Taste permeate and consume the inner reality of Ruwan and others, most to their demise. Many times throughout the book, I felt like a guy watching a horror movie going, "Don't go in there!", knowing the axe murderer is in the other room.

Those who are into psychology and interpersonal relationships will enjoy this read.

[Marisa Marchitelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came to this book with both fascination and familiarity — I actually filmed Ruwan, the author, for the documentary he refers to in his memoir about OneTaste. Even knowing the story from that experience, I was completely absorbed by the depth and honesty of his memoir.

What I appreciate most is his vulnerability. He doesn’t hide from his insecurities or mistakes — instead, he examines them with real courage. It’s rare to see someone so open about the ways charisma and ideology can quietly erode self-trust.

The book also dives much deeper than the documentary ever could into the mechanics of control — the subtle manipulation, the shifting of boundaries, the emotional dependency. It’s both painful and illuminating to read. I highly recommend it!

[Phoebe · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who spent four years in OneTaste, Orgsm was an incredibly impactful read. Ruwan Meepagala captures the complex nuance of the organization with remarkable clarity—the genuine magic that so many of us experienced, as well as the deep harm that unfolded within it. The writing is poignant, beautifully paced, and remarkably easy to read. It’s rare to find a book that is both phenomenally well written and emotionally accurate, but this one succeeds. For anyone seeking to understand the full spectrum of what OneTaste was—both its brilliance and its shadows—this book delivers with honesty and depth.

[Ev · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lot has been said about this specific group - OneTaste. Not many accounts are this honest, nuanced, or funny. Ruwan takes us along on his journey through the why’s and wherefores of how one might find themself entirely wrapped up in a cult and altogether at a loss for how life looks without this reality. Why would you join? Why would you stay? What goes on behind closed doors? What happens if/when you get out? Ruwan digs pretty deep and those who have a history here might find this read cathartic and healing.

[Marie-Elizabeth Mali · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ruwan skillfully portrays the allure of spiritual growth, sexual actualization, and belonging that could pull someone to join a cult like OneTaste. He shows the way such groups feel great, until they don’t anymore. He also shares the challenges of rebuilding a self and a life after leaving. The book has a mix of storytelling and teachings, so the reader can develop their own relationship to the material and his experience. A thrilling read, I highly recommend.

[Noelfry · Rating 5 out of 5]

The books is extremely insightful and well polished. Every sentence has a purpose every purposes has a story. The book feels like documentary / biography of the authors experience in One Taste. I personally really enjoyed the switch between inner monologue/thoughts and external event. You get to explore the world of one taste but also the authors internal world and how all these experiences shaped and continue to shape him.

[Jim Chopin · Rating 5 out of 5]

As in all great spiritual journeys, the author lets go of his certainty, risks enthrallment to a beautiful illusion, almost gets consumed, and survives long enough to regain himself- a little wiser, a lot more experienced, and humorously more acquainted with the great catastrophe of life. A remarkably balanced walk through a very intense and titillating experience.

[JASON J · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nearly halfway through the book and loving it so far - downside is that it's so interesting that it's keeping me up at night! I was a big fan of The Game by Neil Strauss. Even dipped my toes into the pickup artist world. (I even spent some time with a polyamorous Raw Paleo family.) And this book brings back that same interest in how all things love, relationships, and emotions work in real life.

[Glawton · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very engaging first hand account of what it was like to live in an international community that transformed his relationship with women, some of the insights he experienced along the way, and some of the cautions he encountered.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so incredible. I was captivated by the story and I couldn’t put it down!

[Deanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s always interesting to hear from people that were directly involved in something that gained national attention.