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Tell Me I'm Not The Villain
Literary Fiction meets Romance in the most gut-wrenching addicting way.
Lydia isn’t looking to be saved.
Bash isn’t looking to be her savior.
After a constant string of loss and trauma in her life, Lydia has mastered the art of quiet destruction. She’s losing herself one hit at a time.
After surviving what no one should have to, she’s drowning in the only thing that makes life bearable—whatever she can take to quiet her mind and keep her heart from remembering the pain.
Then there’s Bash.
A boy with his own ghosts. Grief he can’t shake, guilt he can’t confess, and new faith that’s still learning how to stand. Yet, he still carries light like it’s something he was born with, and no matter how far Lydia goes, he keeps showing up—through the walls she built, the sharp words meant to cut deep, and the darkness she thinks will swallow her whole, he holds on to her when she can't hold on for herself.
He doesn’t try to fix her.
He doesn’t run from her darkness.
He stays. Steady. Unmoving.
And in the quiet wreckage, Lydia starts to experience what love looks like when it doesn’t hurt…
Lydia isn’t looking to be saved.
Bash isn’t looking to be her savior.
After a constant string of loss and trauma in her life, Lydia has mastered the art of quiet destruction. She’s losing herself one hit at a time.
After surviving what no one should have to, she’s drowning in the only thing that makes life bearable—whatever she can take to quiet her mind and keep her heart from remembering the pain.
Then there’s Bash.
A boy with his own ghosts. Grief he can’t shake, guilt he can’t confess, and new faith that’s still learning how to stand. Yet, he still carries light like it’s something he was born with, and no matter how far Lydia goes, he keeps showing up—through the walls she built, the sharp words meant to cut deep, and the darkness she thinks will swallow her whole, he holds on to her when she can't hold on for herself.
He doesn’t try to fix her.
He doesn’t run from her darkness.
He stays. Steady. Unmoving.
And in the quiet wreckage, Lydia starts to experience what love looks like when it doesn’t hurt…
738 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 1, 2026
26 people are currently reading
187 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
January 10, 2026
6 ⭐️
TMINTV read like a letter written from the brain to the heart, then transcribed to the soul so that it could be permanently etched and shared across all spans of places and time.
From the moment you start reading, you’re sucked into a contextual historic narrative of the FMC that is quite literally equivalent to watching a car crash— you see the danger right away and you want to do something, but not only are you frozen in time, but you also aren’t equipped to provide the support that is truly necessary.
Every time that you think you’ve gotten relief throughout the book, your heart will be cracked open like a pomegranate, each piece being carefully but impossibly messily extracted and no surface will be spared from evidence of the process that is and was taking place.
It’s a book about everything— grief, love, trauma, addiction, generational curses, healing, friendship, family dynamics, redemption, the power to write your own story, faith, and so much more. TMINTV was an experience in coming home to yourself, analyzing the bare bones of your foundation— deciding what stays, what is removed, and what is necessary to refurbish. I felt rage, immense joy, disappointment, redemption, kick-your-feet giddiness, and the mercy of true grace and love. The characters are so very real, relatable, and comparable to people you know or stories you’ve heard.
Through this book, you get a glimpse of what life can be like to live loved, and how little that has to do with what you do but rather who you are. You see the process of stripping away power from undeserving factors (including ourselves in some ways) and returning it back to where it belongs. When you get it, you’ll get it; you may have to read to understand.
Grace, and the discovery of/belief in it as a force in your life, really changes the trajectory of your path. It’s experiential guidance, warning, and circumstantial truth through lived experiences. A true transgression from darkness to light. How powerful is it to know that as long as you’re here, there’s a way to turn things around and get back on track in your life? It was pretty incredible to see how that looked in the lives of the characters.
I’m really grateful to have been a part of this journey! I’m fully on the edge of my seat just thinking about book 2 as the focus shifts to the paths of some of the other beloved characters introduced here in book 1.
TMINTV read like a letter written from the brain to the heart, then transcribed to the soul so that it could be permanently etched and shared across all spans of places and time.
From the moment you start reading, you’re sucked into a contextual historic narrative of the FMC that is quite literally equivalent to watching a car crash— you see the danger right away and you want to do something, but not only are you frozen in time, but you also aren’t equipped to provide the support that is truly necessary.
Every time that you think you’ve gotten relief throughout the book, your heart will be cracked open like a pomegranate, each piece being carefully but impossibly messily extracted and no surface will be spared from evidence of the process that is and was taking place.
It’s a book about everything— grief, love, trauma, addiction, generational curses, healing, friendship, family dynamics, redemption, the power to write your own story, faith, and so much more. TMINTV was an experience in coming home to yourself, analyzing the bare bones of your foundation— deciding what stays, what is removed, and what is necessary to refurbish. I felt rage, immense joy, disappointment, redemption, kick-your-feet giddiness, and the mercy of true grace and love. The characters are so very real, relatable, and comparable to people you know or stories you’ve heard.
Through this book, you get a glimpse of what life can be like to live loved, and how little that has to do with what you do but rather who you are. You see the process of stripping away power from undeserving factors (including ourselves in some ways) and returning it back to where it belongs. When you get it, you’ll get it; you may have to read to understand.
Grace, and the discovery of/belief in it as a force in your life, really changes the trajectory of your path. It’s experiential guidance, warning, and circumstantial truth through lived experiences. A true transgression from darkness to light. How powerful is it to know that as long as you’re here, there’s a way to turn things around and get back on track in your life? It was pretty incredible to see how that looked in the lives of the characters.
I’m really grateful to have been a part of this journey! I’m fully on the edge of my seat just thinking about book 2 as the focus shifts to the paths of some of the other beloved characters introduced here in book 1.
January 15, 2026
4.5 ⭐️
A rollercoaster of real life hard topics handled so raw yet with genuine care. I have never read anything like this before. The way the characters faith is woven felt realistic. I stayed up all night reading the first 40% and did not want to put it down at any point. I loved the relationships between the characters. Some elements gave me the suspense of Euphoria and the emotional depth of Boys of Tommen, especially with the glimpses we get into the side characters’ lives. I cannot wait for the next book and I am so glad this series is not ending here.
A rollercoaster of real life hard topics handled so raw yet with genuine care. I have never read anything like this before. The way the characters faith is woven felt realistic. I stayed up all night reading the first 40% and did not want to put it down at any point. I loved the relationships between the characters. Some elements gave me the suspense of Euphoria and the emotional depth of Boys of Tommen, especially with the glimpses we get into the side characters’ lives. I cannot wait for the next book and I am so glad this series is not ending here.
December 17, 2025
4.5/5 stars ⭐️
I loved how beautifully written this was. All the painful topics were handled with care and sensitivity. This was a heavy read incorporating topics including loss, grief, anxiety, depression, and more but it never felt careless. I also appreciated the recovery focus and the thoughtful mental health insights throughout the book. I loved how faith and belief was weaved into the story in such a meaningful way. Lydia and Bash (ugh this author writes the best couples). The characters had so much depth and I loved the found family aspect. I’m so excited this is becoming a series and I cannot wait for the next two books! I’m so grateful to have received an ARC copy of this book.
I loved how beautifully written this was. All the painful topics were handled with care and sensitivity. This was a heavy read incorporating topics including loss, grief, anxiety, depression, and more but it never felt careless. I also appreciated the recovery focus and the thoughtful mental health insights throughout the book. I loved how faith and belief was weaved into the story in such a meaningful way. Lydia and Bash (ugh this author writes the best couples). The characters had so much depth and I loved the found family aspect. I’m so excited this is becoming a series and I cannot wait for the next two books! I’m so grateful to have received an ARC copy of this book.
February 1, 2026
This book felt like faith took my hand and said “let’s go on a (700 page) journey”. TMINTV walks you through the life of Lydia as a child all the way through to adulthood. You get insight into where all of her turmoil stems from, which as a reader, is something I really appreciate in a book. There was never a moment where I wondered why or where or how, and the author didn’t answer my question. This book was hard to read and hard to put down. I looked forward to learning more about each of the characters every time I picked it up. The author did a phenomenal job with the way she described anxiety and depression… lack of desire mixed with too much desire… joy and sadness and just all of the emotions and feelings that may arise when life deals you a difficult card. I was really able to understand Lydia because of the authors writing. This is a book I would recommend but please check the trigger warnings. Topics like drug use, overdose, suicide and suicidal ideations, anxiety, depression and rape are a few of the heavier topics discussed in this book.
January 26, 2026
It’s a heavy read but one that was intentional and handled with care. I enjoyed spending time with Lydia and her girls, Simone and Lani. The found family aspect was one of my favorite parts and brought so much warmth to an intense story. Lydia felt so real in the way she carries guilt, self-doubt, and the constant fear of being the villain in her own story. Bash’s faith journey was also well done, his internal conflict felt honest and realistic especially with how close he came to losing his sobriety himself. Overall this book was emotionally heavy, character driven and impactful and I can’t wait for the next book in the series!
It explores difficult topics like substance abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, suicide, and mental health struggles like depression and anxiety.
It explores difficult topics like substance abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, suicide, and mental health struggles like depression and anxiety.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 28, 2025
• My Reading Experience: Loved It!!!!
• Book Spice: None
• Adjusted Rating: 4.5 stars!!
• POV: 1st Person / Dual
• Content Thoughts:
This book is such a beautiful exploration of redemption and self-definition. It captures the idea that you don’t have to be who people assume you are based on rumors, mistakes, or their limited understanding of your story. Watching the FMC fight to reclaim her narrative and rebuild herself was incredibly moving.
The way her journey unfolds—where it feels like she’s destined to lose the people and things she loves no matter how hard she tries—is both heartbreaking and captivating. You can’t help but root for her and feel that ache right alongside her.
I also really enjoyed how the author structured the story. Even though there aren’t explicit section markers, the book flows almost like a Part 1 and Part 2. Part 1 delves deep into the FMC’s struggles, backstory, and motivations, while Part 2 focuses on her redemption arc and the romance. The shift is seamless and emotionally satisfying.
The connection between the main characters felt genuine, and I loved watching it grow. I actually found myself wishing for even more moments of them bonding—it was that good. The side characters also deserve a shoutout; they were warm, supportive, and the kind of friends everyone should have in real life—the ones who want to see you win.
Overall, I loved it! 🥰 It’s heartfelt, hopeful, and a reminder that our past doesn’t have to define our future.
🧚Disclaimer: My reviews and ratings are always honest and based on my own reading experience. Your experience might be totally different—and that’s okay!🧚
• Book Spice: None
• Adjusted Rating: 4.5 stars!!
• POV: 1st Person / Dual
• Content Thoughts:
This book is such a beautiful exploration of redemption and self-definition. It captures the idea that you don’t have to be who people assume you are based on rumors, mistakes, or their limited understanding of your story. Watching the FMC fight to reclaim her narrative and rebuild herself was incredibly moving.
The way her journey unfolds—where it feels like she’s destined to lose the people and things she loves no matter how hard she tries—is both heartbreaking and captivating. You can’t help but root for her and feel that ache right alongside her.
I also really enjoyed how the author structured the story. Even though there aren’t explicit section markers, the book flows almost like a Part 1 and Part 2. Part 1 delves deep into the FMC’s struggles, backstory, and motivations, while Part 2 focuses on her redemption arc and the romance. The shift is seamless and emotionally satisfying.
The connection between the main characters felt genuine, and I loved watching it grow. I actually found myself wishing for even more moments of them bonding—it was that good. The side characters also deserve a shoutout; they were warm, supportive, and the kind of friends everyone should have in real life—the ones who want to see you win.
Overall, I loved it! 🥰 It’s heartfelt, hopeful, and a reminder that our past doesn’t have to define our future.
🧚Disclaimer: My reviews and ratings are always honest and based on my own reading experience. Your experience might be totally different—and that’s okay!🧚
January 4, 2026
6 ⭐️ read for me! Pincay's 2nd novel took me on a journey where I laugh, cried, and enjoyed every minute of it. After spending 700+ pages together, the characters felt incredibly real and I loved watching their growth. TMINTV is a story that I will never forget and I cannot wait for future books in the series. Many thanks to the author for this ARC!
November 10, 2025
First off this is the longest book I’ve read since getting back into reading and how fast I finished it should be studied!
This book is kinda split into three parts- not clear but you’ll know.
Lydia’s story before she went to college is a lot! Everything she went through was so hard to read. But Faith being able to write all the tough and emotional parts so delicately but raw is amazing!
College Lydia while heartbreaking some to read- it felt so real. Like I see the choices she made and why.
Her redemption arc is messy but worth it!
I loved the friendship of Lyd, Simone and Lani! Having people who you care about and care about you equally is so important when you’re going through so much!
I really enjoyed bash and how patient and kind he was- how understanding he was of lyd. While also going through his own struggles!
He’s book boyfriend!
Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this book! Thank you so much Faith for allowing me to read this early!
This book is kinda split into three parts- not clear but you’ll know.
Lydia’s story before she went to college is a lot! Everything she went through was so hard to read. But Faith being able to write all the tough and emotional parts so delicately but raw is amazing!
College Lydia while heartbreaking some to read- it felt so real. Like I see the choices she made and why.
Her redemption arc is messy but worth it!
I loved the friendship of Lyd, Simone and Lani! Having people who you care about and care about you equally is so important when you’re going through so much!
I really enjoyed bash and how patient and kind he was- how understanding he was of lyd. While also going through his own struggles!
He’s book boyfriend!
Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this book! Thank you so much Faith for allowing me to read this early!
November 27, 2025
Just wow
October 10, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Faith Pincay has done it again. This is one of those emotional roller coasters that will have you questioning your own life, your own faith, your own struggles. It truly was a work of art. She handles mental health, substance abuse, and the dynamics of trauma SO WELL. It was worth every moment and every read. Thank you to this beautiful author who sent me this ARC. January truly can’t come fast enough!
Faith Pincay has done it again. This is one of those emotional roller coasters that will have you questioning your own life, your own faith, your own struggles. It truly was a work of art. She handles mental health, substance abuse, and the dynamics of trauma SO WELL. It was worth every moment and every read. Thank you to this beautiful author who sent me this ARC. January truly can’t come fast enough!
January 18, 2026
One thing about Faith Pincay is she’s not going to sugar-coat anything! Faith held nothing back by being raw, honest, and gut-wrenchingly real in Tell Me I’m Not The Villain.
TMINTV shows us how human we all are on the inside. We each have our mistakes/success, love/pain, joy/trauma - all of it a messy, beautiful, heartbreaking wild ride of this thing called life. TMINTV points us back to the fact that nothing can deeply satisfy - not drugs, sex, people, places, the “right” words or actions…outside of Christ. It’s all an endless loop designed for more destruction than hope. BUT! With Christ, there is truly a light at the end of the tunnel no matter what you’ve done, will do or who you are. Jesus ultimately is the only Savior and His grace He extends to us is truly the lifeline! Along with that - there are practical things to help like counseling, accountability and a strong community, etc.
You could tell Faith was very intentional with how she handled each topic. I loved, loved, loved how she handled the mental health aspect of the character’s struggles. I felt like I actually learned something! The practicalities of working through anxiety or depression isn’t something I’ve seen in writing before (to this extend) and it was refreshing to read. I love that this was also coupled with real moments of faith and the sometimes messiness of being a Christian / learning to give it to God. I love Lydia’s core community. We cannot do life alone and it really goes to show - sometimes the people you think you’ve disappointed the most are the very ones to hold your hand at your darkest moments.
Overall, this story highlights the beautiful tale of redemption. It helps us recognize our own places where we believe lies over truth. It gives us space to say life is messy, healing is messy and HARD but good and worth fighting for. Sometimes people do become the villain in the story and sometimes they are just victims needing someone to give them a voice. Happily ever afters don’t mean life won’t be hard, but there is always, always, always hope.
While this is 5-star quality content, I bumped my rating down slightly for a few personal reasons. One, this book can be *very* triggering given the topics Faith explores. I would feel more comfortable recommending this book to someone who is in a healthier mindset / ready for something this raw but unfortunately that isn’t always possible when giving out reviews. Second, there was an excessive amount of language. Normally, I don’t read books with this much language, but because I knew the redemptive nature of the book, I was able to overlook that. If someone is sensitive to language, it would be hard to get through the book without feeling uncomfortable. (Side note - Faith has a content warning at the beginning of the book and explains her reasonings for some of the explicit content use in her final notes for readers, I’d take a look at that before starting if you so choose.)
Content warnings: underage drug & alcohol misuse, suicide, excessive language, self-harm, emotional & physical abuse, implied sexual assault. No spice!
TMINTV shows us how human we all are on the inside. We each have our mistakes/success, love/pain, joy/trauma - all of it a messy, beautiful, heartbreaking wild ride of this thing called life. TMINTV points us back to the fact that nothing can deeply satisfy - not drugs, sex, people, places, the “right” words or actions…outside of Christ. It’s all an endless loop designed for more destruction than hope. BUT! With Christ, there is truly a light at the end of the tunnel no matter what you’ve done, will do or who you are. Jesus ultimately is the only Savior and His grace He extends to us is truly the lifeline! Along with that - there are practical things to help like counseling, accountability and a strong community, etc.
You could tell Faith was very intentional with how she handled each topic. I loved, loved, loved how she handled the mental health aspect of the character’s struggles. I felt like I actually learned something! The practicalities of working through anxiety or depression isn’t something I’ve seen in writing before (to this extend) and it was refreshing to read. I love that this was also coupled with real moments of faith and the sometimes messiness of being a Christian / learning to give it to God. I love Lydia’s core community. We cannot do life alone and it really goes to show - sometimes the people you think you’ve disappointed the most are the very ones to hold your hand at your darkest moments.
Overall, this story highlights the beautiful tale of redemption. It helps us recognize our own places where we believe lies over truth. It gives us space to say life is messy, healing is messy and HARD but good and worth fighting for. Sometimes people do become the villain in the story and sometimes they are just victims needing someone to give them a voice. Happily ever afters don’t mean life won’t be hard, but there is always, always, always hope.
While this is 5-star quality content, I bumped my rating down slightly for a few personal reasons. One, this book can be *very* triggering given the topics Faith explores. I would feel more comfortable recommending this book to someone who is in a healthier mindset / ready for something this raw but unfortunately that isn’t always possible when giving out reviews. Second, there was an excessive amount of language. Normally, I don’t read books with this much language, but because I knew the redemptive nature of the book, I was able to overlook that. If someone is sensitive to language, it would be hard to get through the book without feeling uncomfortable. (Side note - Faith has a content warning at the beginning of the book and explains her reasonings for some of the explicit content use in her final notes for readers, I’d take a look at that before starting if you so choose.)
Content warnings: underage drug & alcohol misuse, suicide, excessive language, self-harm, emotional & physical abuse, implied sexual assault. No spice!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 23, 2025
4.25 ✨
Wow… this book is unlike anything else I’ve ever read. This book is real and raw. It shows all the ugly parts of healing that are hidden under the surface. As someone who grew up with people that were alcoholics, it was so interesting to get a different point of view, and enter the mind of an addict. I loved how religion and Christianity were talked about in this book without it being overbearing. Religion was talked about but it wasn’t an unrealistic “oh she found God and instantly everything was better”. It was still real and showed how much Lydia had to fight to just survive and how even after you find God, you still struggle and you will question your faith. I also absolutely love how Faith divided this book.
Part one goes through ALL of the trauma. It starts from the very first page and it just feels like heartbreak after heartbreak. Lydia goes through abusive parents, death of loved ones, bullying, an abusive relationship… you name it. My girl went through it, and your heart will absolutely shatter while you read part one.
Then we enter part two which follows her healing journey. Faith kept it so real and showed the ups and downs that go into healing. The amount of effort and work that Lydia had to put in just to be a functional person without substances. But don’t get me wrong, majority of part two still doesn’t feel good. We see suicide attempts, drug and alcohol abuse, relapse… and so much more. We watch how the MMC enters her life like he was literally made for her. The love that those two have, the way they can read each other, communicate without words, was incredible. This man was so patient and so unbelievably kind and understanding. If real life men need an example of how they should be, read this book and be like Bash 😭 Side note, I freaking love Atlas with my whole heart, though.
Then we absolutely need to talk about that extended epilogue. 10 out of freaking 10. That extended epilogue was one of my favorite parts of the entire book. We got to see the point of views of all the people who had passed and wow. I loved seeing other people’s side of the story. Ugh absolutely amazing.
Overall, I really enjoyed this book. Faith is such a talented writer and I can’t thank her enough for giving me the opportunity to be an ARC reader for this book. 🩷
Wow… this book is unlike anything else I’ve ever read. This book is real and raw. It shows all the ugly parts of healing that are hidden under the surface. As someone who grew up with people that were alcoholics, it was so interesting to get a different point of view, and enter the mind of an addict. I loved how religion and Christianity were talked about in this book without it being overbearing. Religion was talked about but it wasn’t an unrealistic “oh she found God and instantly everything was better”. It was still real and showed how much Lydia had to fight to just survive and how even after you find God, you still struggle and you will question your faith. I also absolutely love how Faith divided this book.
Part one goes through ALL of the trauma. It starts from the very first page and it just feels like heartbreak after heartbreak. Lydia goes through abusive parents, death of loved ones, bullying, an abusive relationship… you name it. My girl went through it, and your heart will absolutely shatter while you read part one.
Then we enter part two which follows her healing journey. Faith kept it so real and showed the ups and downs that go into healing. The amount of effort and work that Lydia had to put in just to be a functional person without substances. But don’t get me wrong, majority of part two still doesn’t feel good. We see suicide attempts, drug and alcohol abuse, relapse… and so much more. We watch how the MMC enters her life like he was literally made for her. The love that those two have, the way they can read each other, communicate without words, was incredible. This man was so patient and so unbelievably kind and understanding. If real life men need an example of how they should be, read this book and be like Bash 😭 Side note, I freaking love Atlas with my whole heart, though.
Then we absolutely need to talk about that extended epilogue. 10 out of freaking 10. That extended epilogue was one of my favorite parts of the entire book. We got to see the point of views of all the people who had passed and wow. I loved seeing other people’s side of the story. Ugh absolutely amazing.
Overall, I really enjoyed this book. Faith is such a talented writer and I can’t thank her enough for giving me the opportunity to be an ARC reader for this book. 🩷
February 23, 2026
I received an advance reader copy in exchange for a reciew. And tbh, if this hadn't been an ARC, I would have DNFed. I knew the content warnings going in, but it was just *too much.*
🚨Content warnings: self-harm, drug abuse, domestic abuse, suicide, rape, sexual coercion, loss of family members, foster care, grief, bullying, depression, cheating 🚨
**Vague spoilers ahead**
The book follows Lydia, starting at a young age when she loses her parents and enters the foster care system with her sister. Unfortunately a few year later, she also loses her sister. She is placed into a new, better foster home. She finds herself in a relationship with Eli, and it quickly turns abusive and destructive. She endures bullying from classmates throughout their relationship. She goes to college single with her best friend and ends up turning to alcohol and drugs to escape her pain, and meets Bash who helps her through recovery and ultimately entering a healthy and healing relationship with him.
As I stated earlier, it was just *too much.* Page long rambles multiple times about /why/ she's drinking, having sex, and doing drugs. It was one form of trauma after another, after another. It was just not a fun read for me. I couldn't believe that a girl who went through everything she had before the age of 12 had never gone to therapy.
We don't even meet MMC Bash until the halfway point and I was so exhausted already that I had no room for his own past traumas and I really didn't care to meet or learn about him by that point. I wasn't even rooting for Lydia to be with anyone.
The book could have been edited down and pages could have been cut. Many scenes in college /felt/ like I was sitting through a lecture and not in a good way. Overall, just not very enjoyable.
🚨Content warnings: self-harm, drug abuse, domestic abuse, suicide, rape, sexual coercion, loss of family members, foster care, grief, bullying, depression, cheating 🚨
**Vague spoilers ahead**
The book follows Lydia, starting at a young age when she loses her parents and enters the foster care system with her sister. Unfortunately a few year later, she also loses her sister. She is placed into a new, better foster home. She finds herself in a relationship with Eli, and it quickly turns abusive and destructive. She endures bullying from classmates throughout their relationship. She goes to college single with her best friend and ends up turning to alcohol and drugs to escape her pain, and meets Bash who helps her through recovery and ultimately entering a healthy and healing relationship with him.
As I stated earlier, it was just *too much.* Page long rambles multiple times about /why/ she's drinking, having sex, and doing drugs. It was one form of trauma after another, after another. It was just not a fun read for me. I couldn't believe that a girl who went through everything she had before the age of 12 had never gone to therapy.
We don't even meet MMC Bash until the halfway point and I was so exhausted already that I had no room for his own past traumas and I really didn't care to meet or learn about him by that point. I wasn't even rooting for Lydia to be with anyone.
The book could have been edited down and pages could have been cut. Many scenes in college /felt/ like I was sitting through a lecture and not in a good way. Overall, just not very enjoyable.
January 2, 2026
If you enjoy having your heart stomped on and put back together, this is the book for you. The last time I felt this kind of pain and suffering was when I read the Boys of Tommen series.
Lydia’s story is so raw and painful. She was dealt an awful hand in life, and she pushed through the best she could despite everything. Her growth and development was so wholesome and heartwarming to watch. This story was about friendship, overcoming trauma, healing, and accepting. I am so proud of Lydia and grateful she had such an amazing support system. I love Bash. I love the way he didn’t stand down from Lydia and helped her find her way. This story was so beautiful and so traumatic all in one.
Lydia’s story is so raw and painful. She was dealt an awful hand in life, and she pushed through the best she could despite everything. Her growth and development was so wholesome and heartwarming to watch. This story was about friendship, overcoming trauma, healing, and accepting. I am so proud of Lydia and grateful she had such an amazing support system. I love Bash. I love the way he didn’t stand down from Lydia and helped her find her way. This story was so beautiful and so traumatic all in one.
November 13, 2025
This is up there in one of the most emotional roller coasters I’ve ever read.
The way I connected with Lydia’s upbringing hurt. Her story, the trauma.. 😮💨 this one was deep, like soul searching deep.
Bash, you obviously are heaven sent.
Lani & Simone? Easily my favorite side characters and i can’t wait for their stories. Truly. Simone’s steady, never giving up friendship will hold a spot in my heart forever
On the bright side i also think i learned so much from their therapy & coping skills to apply to my own life 😭🤣
The way I connected with Lydia’s upbringing hurt. Her story, the trauma.. 😮💨 this one was deep, like soul searching deep.
Bash, you obviously are heaven sent.
Lani & Simone? Easily my favorite side characters and i can’t wait for their stories. Truly. Simone’s steady, never giving up friendship will hold a spot in my heart forever
On the bright side i also think i learned so much from their therapy & coping skills to apply to my own life 😭🤣
January 26, 2026
4.5/5!
January 10, 2026
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
January 12, 2026
70% in currently and already rating it 5 stars. I can't wait to recommend this book.
October 21, 2025
Finally a book with some depth! The characters of this book felt like my own friends. I loved the development of the plot! This books shows the real and raw emotions those struggling with mental health and other issues have to go through. Make sure you check any trigger warnings before reading. This book will have an everlasting imprint on my heart! Beautiful read. Thank you to the author for the opportunity to beta read and enjoy this ARC.
February 22, 2026
This book wasn’t what I was expecting in the best way possible. It touches on very sensitive topics, and it was done beautifully. I loved getting the characters backstory so you understood them, their actions, and you could see how far they’ve grown.
Part 1.
All Lydia’s POV. She witnessed her parents death, and gets thrown into foster care with her sister Camilla. She was a victim of bullying in school, and her sister was battling with addiction. Lydia met Simone ( FMC book 2 ) she’s the one Lydia can always count on to be there. She found Camilla dead after an overdose. Eli was her boyfriend who was abusive, and they were in a toxic relationship. It was rough reading about the domestic violence, but was written with intention not just a shock factor like some books. Sarah & Mark were her foster parents who turned into her adoptive ones. This part ends with Lydia going to college with Simone.
Part 2.
Bash & Lydia’s POV.
Bash is battling with his own grief after the death of his sister. He also struggles with his own addictions of drugs, and used sex as an escape in the past. He leans on his religion with God to help him find his new path.
Lydia is such a complex character, and reading about her battles with addiction, sex as an escape was so heart wrenching. It takes a bit for the main characters to meet, but they get thrown into the same orbit everytime. Bash was so patient, and kind to Lydia even when she was going through her worst times. Their friendship/relationship was healthy, and they can both lean on each other because they understand what each of them went through. I loved reading about their college classes with psychology & the support groups it went into depth on addiction, how your brain, and body responds to trauma. If you are not a religious person you may not enjoy this book as much, but it does play a big role into how these characters heal. The author portrayed their journey with God in a beautiful way that was not shoving it in your face, and i really enjoyed reading about that relationship.
Side characters. Simone & Lani (Lydia’s best friends) Mason & Erik (Bash’s best friends)
Atlas ( Lydia’s drug dealer ) I really liked him lol
Sandro ( Lani’s brother ) I would love a book for him.
I do wish we found out more about Greyson unless that storyline was left open for a reason in later books.
Part 1.
All Lydia’s POV. She witnessed her parents death, and gets thrown into foster care with her sister Camilla. She was a victim of bullying in school, and her sister was battling with addiction. Lydia met Simone ( FMC book 2 ) she’s the one Lydia can always count on to be there. She found Camilla dead after an overdose. Eli was her boyfriend who was abusive, and they were in a toxic relationship. It was rough reading about the domestic violence, but was written with intention not just a shock factor like some books. Sarah & Mark were her foster parents who turned into her adoptive ones. This part ends with Lydia going to college with Simone.
Part 2.
Bash & Lydia’s POV.
Bash is battling with his own grief after the death of his sister. He also struggles with his own addictions of drugs, and used sex as an escape in the past. He leans on his religion with God to help him find his new path.
Lydia is such a complex character, and reading about her battles with addiction, sex as an escape was so heart wrenching. It takes a bit for the main characters to meet, but they get thrown into the same orbit everytime. Bash was so patient, and kind to Lydia even when she was going through her worst times. Their friendship/relationship was healthy, and they can both lean on each other because they understand what each of them went through. I loved reading about their college classes with psychology & the support groups it went into depth on addiction, how your brain, and body responds to trauma. If you are not a religious person you may not enjoy this book as much, but it does play a big role into how these characters heal. The author portrayed their journey with God in a beautiful way that was not shoving it in your face, and i really enjoyed reading about that relationship.
Side characters. Simone & Lani (Lydia’s best friends) Mason & Erik (Bash’s best friends)
Atlas ( Lydia’s drug dealer ) I really liked him lol
Sandro ( Lani’s brother ) I would love a book for him.
I do wish we found out more about Greyson unless that storyline was left open for a reason in later books.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 17, 2026
Where do I start with this review, I don't know lol. I would start by saying not a lot of books made me have all these feelings while reading, it was truly beautifully writing, a bit hard to read at some point but it was still worth it at the end to see the story of Lydia unfold and get better.
Basically, the story follows Lydia, a girl that lost both her parents at a very young age and her life in the foster system with her older sister till another event hits her unexpectedly and puts through so much more pain than she already was dealing with. She ends up in a foster home with loving parents and a new school where she meets a guy Eli, who ends up being a big part of her story and her life from 15 to 17 yo. At her side she always had her bestfriend Lydia since she was 13 and we can see their strong bond forming over the years. After a rough high school years of abuse, bad relationship and pain, we follow Lydia to university with Simone and Lani who become a trio. University is a fresh start but the first year doesn't end up being what any of them imagined. An unexpected person meets Lydia and their story begins little by little with a beautiful slowburn and a lot of healing for Lydia and Bash together and also a lot of growing for both of them. One of the things I loved so much in this book was the fact that it followed Lydia's story and the relationship with Bash didn't come as the core event in the plot. I mean yes their story was very beautifully written but in a way that it didn't hide Lydia's healing journey on her own or the growing that she did with Bash. We never once went outside of the main plot which is to see Lydia navigate through the pain and her healing journey and that couldn't have been better.
A 4.5 read because of the length of the book honestly, it was long and it took some time to finish it but it was worth it with the way the story unfolds.
Basically, the story follows Lydia, a girl that lost both her parents at a very young age and her life in the foster system with her older sister till another event hits her unexpectedly and puts through so much more pain than she already was dealing with. She ends up in a foster home with loving parents and a new school where she meets a guy Eli, who ends up being a big part of her story and her life from 15 to 17 yo. At her side she always had her bestfriend Lydia since she was 13 and we can see their strong bond forming over the years. After a rough high school years of abuse, bad relationship and pain, we follow Lydia to university with Simone and Lani who become a trio. University is a fresh start but the first year doesn't end up being what any of them imagined. An unexpected person meets Lydia and their story begins little by little with a beautiful slowburn and a lot of healing for Lydia and Bash together and also a lot of growing for both of them. One of the things I loved so much in this book was the fact that it followed Lydia's story and the relationship with Bash didn't come as the core event in the plot. I mean yes their story was very beautifully written but in a way that it didn't hide Lydia's healing journey on her own or the growing that she did with Bash. We never once went outside of the main plot which is to see Lydia navigate through the pain and her healing journey and that couldn't have been better.
A 4.5 read because of the length of the book honestly, it was long and it took some time to finish it but it was worth it with the way the story unfolds.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 21, 2026
Genre: Romance
Pages: 730
Format: Ebook (Arc)
Spice: 🌶️.5/5
Rating: 4 ⭐
Tropes:
College romance
Coming of age
Mental health
Redemption
Emotional trauma survivor
Broken Heroine
Gritty romance
📖 My Review 📖
You should definitely check your trigger warnings before reading this book. It is not for the faint of heart and definitely not for everyone.
Don't go into this book expecting
a normal romance because this definitely is not one. This book was not what I expected at all going in but I think it's a story that needed to be told. I really enjoyed this book, not in the way it was a good time type of way but in the way it was a good book and discusses important problems and it is written really well.
I think this book is really emotional and will probably break you but will also put you back together. This book has so much depth and a lot of thought was put into the characters and the story.
I love Lydia, she went through way more than her fair share of trauma and her story is absolutely heartbreaking. I think she becomes a strong person to overcome what she went through.
I love Bash so much, he is the perfect boyfriend. he is sweet, caring, and so supportive.
Lydia has such good friends and I love that for her and I am so glad she got her happy ending.
This book took me a bit longer than it should have to read because I had to take breaks during one section of the book.
I love Lydia and Bash's romance so much. It's so sweet and wholesome and he's everything I wanted for Lydia.
I can't wait for the next book in the series. I hope I don't have to wait too long.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Pages: 730
Format: Ebook (Arc)
Spice: 🌶️.5/5
Rating: 4 ⭐
Tropes:
College romance
Coming of age
Mental health
Redemption
Emotional trauma survivor
Broken Heroine
Gritty romance
📖 My Review 📖
You should definitely check your trigger warnings before reading this book. It is not for the faint of heart and definitely not for everyone.
Don't go into this book expecting
a normal romance because this definitely is not one. This book was not what I expected at all going in but I think it's a story that needed to be told. I really enjoyed this book, not in the way it was a good time type of way but in the way it was a good book and discusses important problems and it is written really well.
I think this book is really emotional and will probably break you but will also put you back together. This book has so much depth and a lot of thought was put into the characters and the story.
I love Lydia, she went through way more than her fair share of trauma and her story is absolutely heartbreaking. I think she becomes a strong person to overcome what she went through.
I love Bash so much, he is the perfect boyfriend. he is sweet, caring, and so supportive.
Lydia has such good friends and I love that for her and I am so glad she got her happy ending.
This book took me a bit longer than it should have to read because I had to take breaks during one section of the book.
I love Lydia and Bash's romance so much. It's so sweet and wholesome and he's everything I wanted for Lydia.
I can't wait for the next book in the series. I hope I don't have to wait too long.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
November 19, 2025
First off I absolutely adored this book, the realities of life and pain and struggles, growth and love, with friendships, romance, and faith was beautifully done. I mean this as a huge compliment, the boys of tommen series is one of my favorite series ever and this story reminds me of that, getting so attached to flawed human characters and experiencing their lives with them, feeling every single emotion under the sun. I wanted to scream, throw my kindle across the room, cry, giggle, kick my feet and wanted the best for them. I am also so excited for future books with these characters, I loved the friendships, the romance and I loved the faith aspect in a realistic human way without forcing it but it comes naturally. I've never read a book that incorporates that in it and I loved it so so much. The relationship drove me insane but a realistic depiction of what it's like being in a toxic relationship and being in a continuous cycle you hope will change, feeling stuck, feeling like you need to isolate yourself from others. Those who have been there can understand her thought process even if we're wishing for it to end, and will let others who haven't experienced it understand what it can feel like and look like. It added to the attachment to the characters and growth and wanting to see them succeed and break the cycle. I also like how things weren’t resolved perfectly and immediately. The MMC I LOVED. Thank you for this amazing, gut wrenching, beautiful story and being able to read it before it comes out.
January 3, 2026
Wow. Just... WOW. Tell Me I’m Not the Villain is a heavy, visceral read that demands your full attention. It took me longer than usual to finish, but I’m actually grateful for the slow pace—I found myself needing to step away often to process everything Lydia was going through.
Watching her navigate these different levels of loss was heartbreaking but deeply authentic. What I loved most was her gradual journey toward faith; it felt organic and earned, never forced or 'preachy.' The writing is incredibly poetic, turning a story of immense pain into something beautiful and hopeful. This one will stay with me for a long time. I wouldn't have wanted to experience this story any other way 💞
Other things that really stayed with me, though, were the side characters. The best friends Simone and later Lani, were such a vital part of the story, providing a backbone for Lydia when things felt impossible. And then there was Atlas—her dealer. Their dynamic was so complex and deeply human; their goodbye absolutely broke my heart 🥹
I gave this 4 stars because I loved the journey, but I found myself wishing we had just a few more chapters of Lydia in her 'better' life. After so much beautifully written pain, I was so invested that I just wanted to dwell in her happiness a little bit longer 🙂↕️
Watching her navigate these different levels of loss was heartbreaking but deeply authentic. What I loved most was her gradual journey toward faith; it felt organic and earned, never forced or 'preachy.' The writing is incredibly poetic, turning a story of immense pain into something beautiful and hopeful. This one will stay with me for a long time. I wouldn't have wanted to experience this story any other way 💞
Other things that really stayed with me, though, were the side characters. The best friends Simone and later Lani, were such a vital part of the story, providing a backbone for Lydia when things felt impossible. And then there was Atlas—her dealer. Their dynamic was so complex and deeply human; their goodbye absolutely broke my heart 🥹
I gave this 4 stars because I loved the journey, but I found myself wishing we had just a few more chapters of Lydia in her 'better' life. After so much beautifully written pain, I was so invested that I just wanted to dwell in her happiness a little bit longer 🙂↕️
January 26, 2026
4.75 ⭐️
This is the closest thing to “Boys of Tommen” (specifically the Joey books) that I have read. And as someone who enjoys books that feel like a stab through the heart, I liked how heavy this book was. This book helped me understand how easy it is to fall into certain destructive behavior patterns, why someone would stay with an abusive partner, and how quickly addictions can form.
It is not an “easy” read, but it didn’t feel quite as heavy as Tommen. Mainly because in this book, one of the characters actually comes to know Jesus, and you see how that decision changes his life and the lives of people around him.
The author manages to show such a contrast in her writing - she doesn’t shy away from the darkness, but then towards the end of the book, there is such light and hope. I really enjoyed that!
The bonus chapters are tough - but they do spotlight what goes through the mind of someone who is in that kind of a dark place.
I also discovered that the author is going to write books for Simone and Lani, so I am very excited for those too!!
This is the closest thing to “Boys of Tommen” (specifically the Joey books) that I have read. And as someone who enjoys books that feel like a stab through the heart, I liked how heavy this book was. This book helped me understand how easy it is to fall into certain destructive behavior patterns, why someone would stay with an abusive partner, and how quickly addictions can form.
It is not an “easy” read, but it didn’t feel quite as heavy as Tommen. Mainly because in this book, one of the characters actually comes to know Jesus, and you see how that decision changes his life and the lives of people around him.
The author manages to show such a contrast in her writing - she doesn’t shy away from the darkness, but then towards the end of the book, there is such light and hope. I really enjoyed that!
The bonus chapters are tough - but they do spotlight what goes through the mind of someone who is in that kind of a dark place.
I also discovered that the author is going to write books for Simone and Lani, so I am very excited for those too!!
February 4, 2026
I knew this was going to be a roller coaster, I just didn't realize how gripping of an experience it would be. I truly felt like I was there watching every major life event play out: the good, the bad, and the heartbreaking.
This story truly captures the pain and the feeling of being a stranger always looking in, but never really connected. The pure desperation and raw feelings were so intense and powerful, it actually made it hard to read at times. I found myself wanting to reach in and shake her, yell at her, or just hold her to make it all stop. It was also devastating to watch what happened to all her relationships and how they tried to save her.
Faith Pincay truly grasped the internal struggle and chaos of this journey. I was fully immersed and invested from beginning to end. The book had me feeling a wide range of emotions, but it also helped give me a better understanding of those I've never experienced, and the strength it takes to overcome them.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
This story truly captures the pain and the feeling of being a stranger always looking in, but never really connected. The pure desperation and raw feelings were so intense and powerful, it actually made it hard to read at times. I found myself wanting to reach in and shake her, yell at her, or just hold her to make it all stop. It was also devastating to watch what happened to all her relationships and how they tried to save her.
Faith Pincay truly grasped the internal struggle and chaos of this journey. I was fully immersed and invested from beginning to end. The book had me feeling a wide range of emotions, but it also helped give me a better understanding of those I've never experienced, and the strength it takes to overcome them.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
January 10, 2026
Immediate five stars. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
This book wrecked me in the best way. I cried real tears, multiple times. I won’t even pretend I didn’t. There were moments I had to physically put the book down just to breathe because it mirrored pieces of my own life so closely. The writing was beautiful without being TOO heavy or drawn out. Nothing felt repetitive or unnecessary every page had purpose. The characters were layered and unique, and watching the two main characters grow into themselves while acknowledging their imperfections felt raw and incredibly real. And the epilogue? Chef’s kiss. Absolute perfection. I was left staring at my Kindle through tears, emotionally unwell but deeply satisfied. This story stayed with me long after the last page, and I already know it’s one I won’t forget.
Eli…count your days. Oh, wait🥱
This book wrecked me in the best way. I cried real tears, multiple times. I won’t even pretend I didn’t. There were moments I had to physically put the book down just to breathe because it mirrored pieces of my own life so closely. The writing was beautiful without being TOO heavy or drawn out. Nothing felt repetitive or unnecessary every page had purpose. The characters were layered and unique, and watching the two main characters grow into themselves while acknowledging their imperfections felt raw and incredibly real. And the epilogue? Chef’s kiss. Absolute perfection. I was left staring at my Kindle through tears, emotionally unwell but deeply satisfied. This story stayed with me long after the last page, and I already know it’s one I won’t forget.
Eli…count your days. Oh, wait🥱
November 22, 2025
i have truly never connected more with a book in my entire life. this book is both heartbreaking and heart warming all wrapped into a beautiful story.
i cried, i laughed, i was happy for the characters, i felt their anguish. i was there in their decisions, in their lives, and i feel grateful for reading this book.
i have never learned as many things from a book as i have with this one- the psychology is truly fascinating and researched to a T. the testimony and God’s word that is written so eloquently within some of the chapters flows effortlessly with the story, character plot, and the progression.
truly read this book and savor it.
i cried, i laughed, i was happy for the characters, i felt their anguish. i was there in their decisions, in their lives, and i feel grateful for reading this book.
i have never learned as many things from a book as i have with this one- the psychology is truly fascinating and researched to a T. the testimony and God’s word that is written so eloquently within some of the chapters flows effortlessly with the story, character plot, and the progression.
truly read this book and savor it.
Read
December 13, 2025This story moved me in so many ways. Part One is toxic and traumatic and makes you want to jump through the pages. Abuse (emotional and physical) is such a difficult topic and was handled with such care. The amount of things Lydia goes through before she is 18…. i want to give her a hug. Part Two was a little slower for me personally, but after finishing I can fully appreciate the journey of addiction and healing and how emotional and taxing it is. The love and care that was poured into this book will not be overlooked.
Triggers:
Physical abuse
Emotional abuse
Substance abuse
Manipulation
Suicide
Death
Triggers:
Physical abuse
Emotional abuse
Substance abuse
Manipulation
Suicide
Death
February 2, 2026
4.5*
If you've read the Boys of Tommen series you will be used to all of the trauma in this book, however unlike the BOT books there is no light hearted banter mixed in, or some positive plot points to go with all of the trauma, so this is a REALLY heavy read for 90% of the time. For that reason it almost felt a bit too much at times and it was a relief to feel a bit of hope towards the end!
I'm glad I read it and it was written beautifully by the author, but will I be recommending it or reading it again? No!
If you've read the Boys of Tommen series you will be used to all of the trauma in this book, however unlike the BOT books there is no light hearted banter mixed in, or some positive plot points to go with all of the trauma, so this is a REALLY heavy read for 90% of the time. For that reason it almost felt a bit too much at times and it was a relief to feel a bit of hope towards the end!
I'm glad I read it and it was written beautifully by the author, but will I be recommending it or reading it again? No!
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