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Tell Me I'm Not The Villain
Literary Fiction meets Romance in the most gut-wrenching, addictive way.
After a constant string of losses, she thought the boy she met at fifteen was the one for her. The first boy to show her any attention, and the first love she ever experienced from a man.
Their relationship doesn't make sense to anyone, but to Lydia, it feels like everything. It's electric, passionate, all-consuming, and because it's her first love, Lydia doesn't question it.
But the deeper she gets, even through the haze, she realizes the relationship is slowly chipping away at her sense of self. She fights to hide the ugly parts of it from the world…until she can't anymore.
After Eli breaks her in the worst way possible, Lydia is pushed into a chaos of her own making, unable to cope with the devastating aftermath.
Unfortunately, when chaos is all you've known…peace feels foreign.
Lydia learns the only way to survive is to numb.
She doesn’t think she can feel anything for anyone again…Until Bash.
A boy with his own past, his own struggles, and new faith, still learning how to stand.
Bash and Lydia both fight their constant pull to each other.
She doesn’t want to be saved, and he doesn’t want a savior complex.
But no matter how far Lydia goes, he keeps showing up for her—through the walls she built, the sharp words meant to cut deep, and the darkness she thinks will swallow her whole, he finds all the small ways to hold on to her when she can't hold on for herself.
He doesn’t try to fix her, and he doesn’t run from her darkness.
He stays steady for her, walking her through things they both don’t understand.
And in the quiet wreckage, Lydia starts to experience what love looks like when it doesn’t hurt…
Tell Me I'm Not the Villain is not your typical coming-of-age romance – it's gut-wrenchingly raw and human.
After a constant string of losses, she thought the boy she met at fifteen was the one for her. The first boy to show her any attention, and the first love she ever experienced from a man.
Their relationship doesn't make sense to anyone, but to Lydia, it feels like everything. It's electric, passionate, all-consuming, and because it's her first love, Lydia doesn't question it.
But the deeper she gets, even through the haze, she realizes the relationship is slowly chipping away at her sense of self. She fights to hide the ugly parts of it from the world…until she can't anymore.
After Eli breaks her in the worst way possible, Lydia is pushed into a chaos of her own making, unable to cope with the devastating aftermath.
Unfortunately, when chaos is all you've known…peace feels foreign.
Lydia learns the only way to survive is to numb.
She doesn’t think she can feel anything for anyone again…Until Bash.
A boy with his own past, his own struggles, and new faith, still learning how to stand.
Bash and Lydia both fight their constant pull to each other.
She doesn’t want to be saved, and he doesn’t want a savior complex.
But no matter how far Lydia goes, he keeps showing up for her—through the walls she built, the sharp words meant to cut deep, and the darkness she thinks will swallow her whole, he finds all the small ways to hold on to her when she can't hold on for herself.
He doesn’t try to fix her, and he doesn’t run from her darkness.
He stays steady for her, walking her through things they both don’t understand.
And in the quiet wreckage, Lydia starts to experience what love looks like when it doesn’t hurt…
Tell Me I'm Not the Villain is not your typical coming-of-age romance – it's gut-wrenchingly raw and human.
740 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 1, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 244 reviews
July 25, 2026
oh for fucks sake. if every time i got a penny for : “when the book i was reading started off really good and ended up being a fucking mess” - i would be a millionaire.
excuse me? no but seriously. what happened ??? 😭 why the fuck did this turn into a shoved down your throat christian romance???
essentially, this book is marketed as a litfic romance that focuses on the grief and trauma of the female main character (lydia’s) life. amazing premise. i love reading about female main characters that aren’t conventionally perfect and have layers to them instead of being surface level birds. after living through multiple traumatic events, she turns to drugs, sex and alcohol to help numb down the pain. that’s when she meets our male main character bash.
firstly, why was this book so confusing to read? for seven hundred pages i should expect more than random time jumps, a confusing part one and two & an unclear present and past. like why did it feel like we had trailers / snippets of her life instead of the full thing? it felt so underdeveloped that i couldn’t even emotionally connect to lydia due to the fast paced scenes and surface level conversations.
secondly, bash was annoying as hell and genuinely could’ve died mid way and i wouldn’t have given a single fuck 🥸 like you know the romance is boring as hell when you’re rooting for the drug dealer boyfriend??? so you’re telling me that this man was at the bottom of the barrel two years ago- drunk every weekend, at a new party fucking a new girl every time whilst also dipping his toes into drugs…and he randomly decides that he wants to revert to christianity and drop all of his bad habits? HUH? 😭 who’s going to tell the author that quitting an addiction isn’t as easy as she makes it out to be. anyways, the way the author handled his faith and how he had a superiority complex due to being “better” than everyone else pissed me the fuck off. gave me the ick. and somehow…SOMEHOW…lydia fell for his propaganda.
the saving grace of this flop ahh book was lydia. i absolutely loved her. her grief and trauma felt so extremely real even when i grew frustrated with her blunt choices. genuinely was rooting for her to end up with the drug dealer boyfriend whom i forgot the name of.
another positive was the side characters - especially the female friendship that all three girls had. each girl shined individually in a way that felt extremely realistic. honestly if per chance i continue this horrible ass series it would be for the female main characters.
hopefully the author doesn’t try to convert me (or the fmc) to her religion this time! 😍🤞
the potential was there; like genuinely i had so much hope especially since this one girl i trust on tiktok was hyping it up. if it wouldn’t have been for the annoying male character and weird ass time jumps, i would’ve enjoyed it way more than i did 🥹
overall, a flop but it still had some saving points.
excuse me? no but seriously. what happened ??? 😭 why the fuck did this turn into a shoved down your throat christian romance???
essentially, this book is marketed as a litfic romance that focuses on the grief and trauma of the female main character (lydia’s) life. amazing premise. i love reading about female main characters that aren’t conventionally perfect and have layers to them instead of being surface level birds. after living through multiple traumatic events, she turns to drugs, sex and alcohol to help numb down the pain. that’s when she meets our male main character bash.
firstly, why was this book so confusing to read? for seven hundred pages i should expect more than random time jumps, a confusing part one and two & an unclear present and past. like why did it feel like we had trailers / snippets of her life instead of the full thing? it felt so underdeveloped that i couldn’t even emotionally connect to lydia due to the fast paced scenes and surface level conversations.
secondly, bash was annoying as hell and genuinely could’ve died mid way and i wouldn’t have given a single fuck 🥸 like you know the romance is boring as hell when you’re rooting for the drug dealer boyfriend??? so you’re telling me that this man was at the bottom of the barrel two years ago- drunk every weekend, at a new party fucking a new girl every time whilst also dipping his toes into drugs…and he randomly decides that he wants to revert to christianity and drop all of his bad habits? HUH? 😭 who’s going to tell the author that quitting an addiction isn’t as easy as she makes it out to be. anyways, the way the author handled his faith and how he had a superiority complex due to being “better” than everyone else pissed me the fuck off. gave me the ick. and somehow…SOMEHOW…lydia fell for his propaganda.
the saving grace of this flop ahh book was lydia. i absolutely loved her. her grief and trauma felt so extremely real even when i grew frustrated with her blunt choices. genuinely was rooting for her to end up with the drug dealer boyfriend whom i forgot the name of.
another positive was the side characters - especially the female friendship that all three girls had. each girl shined individually in a way that felt extremely realistic. honestly if per chance i continue this horrible ass series it would be for the female main characters.
hopefully the author doesn’t try to convert me (or the fmc) to her religion this time! 😍🤞
the potential was there; like genuinely i had so much hope especially since this one girl i trust on tiktok was hyping it up. if it wouldn’t have been for the annoying male character and weird ass time jumps, i would’ve enjoyed it way more than i did 🥹
overall, a flop but it still had some saving points.
July 31, 2026
god tier. incredible.
going into this, a 700 page romance book intimidated me. eventually, i wanted it to be longer. i flew through this in almost one day and it didn’t feel like a long book at all. i was hooked from the beginning to the very last page.
what a ode to mental health, addiction, and trauma representation. the care that this author had towards these topics — they were handled with such grace and rawness. this book was heavy. there were some parts of this that hit me hard personally and i had to disconnect a bit because they were SO real. this was beautifully done, difficult to read at times but also impossible to put down, and overall, one of my new favorite books of all time.
going into this, a 700 page romance book intimidated me. eventually, i wanted it to be longer. i flew through this in almost one day and it didn’t feel like a long book at all. i was hooked from the beginning to the very last page.
what a ode to mental health, addiction, and trauma representation. the care that this author had towards these topics — they were handled with such grace and rawness. this book was heavy. there were some parts of this that hit me hard personally and i had to disconnect a bit because they were SO real. this was beautifully done, difficult to read at times but also impossible to put down, and overall, one of my new favorite books of all time.
February 23, 2026
I received an advance reader copy in exchange for a reciew. And tbh, if this hadn't been an ARC, I would have DNFed. I knew the content warnings going in, but it was just *too much.*
🚨Content warnings: self-harm, drug abuse, domestic abuse, suicide, rape, sexual coercion, loss of family members, foster care, grief, bullying, depression, cheating 🚨
**Vague spoilers ahead**
The book follows Lydia, starting at a young age when she loses her parents and enters the foster care system with her sister. Unfortunately a few year later, she also loses her sister. She is placed into a new, better foster home. She finds herself in a relationship with Eli, and it quickly turns abusive and destructive. She endures bullying from classmates throughout their relationship. She goes to college single with her best friend and ends up turning to alcohol and drugs to escape her pain, and meets Bash who helps her through recovery and ultimately entering a healthy and healing relationship with him.
As I stated earlier, it was just *too much.* Page long rambles multiple times about /why/ she's drinking, having sex, and doing drugs. It was one form of trauma after another, after another. It was just not a fun read for me. I couldn't believe that a girl who went through everything she had before the age of 12 had never gone to therapy.
We don't even meet MMC Bash until the halfway point and I was so exhausted already that I had no room for his own past traumas and I really didn't care to meet or learn about him by that point. I wasn't even rooting for Lydia to be with anyone.
The book could have been edited down and pages could have been cut. Many scenes in college /felt/ like I was sitting through a lecture and not in a good way. Overall, just not very enjoyable.
🚨Content warnings: self-harm, drug abuse, domestic abuse, suicide, rape, sexual coercion, loss of family members, foster care, grief, bullying, depression, cheating 🚨
**Vague spoilers ahead**
The book follows Lydia, starting at a young age when she loses her parents and enters the foster care system with her sister. Unfortunately a few year later, she also loses her sister. She is placed into a new, better foster home. She finds herself in a relationship with Eli, and it quickly turns abusive and destructive. She endures bullying from classmates throughout their relationship. She goes to college single with her best friend and ends up turning to alcohol and drugs to escape her pain, and meets Bash who helps her through recovery and ultimately entering a healthy and healing relationship with him.
As I stated earlier, it was just *too much.* Page long rambles multiple times about /why/ she's drinking, having sex, and doing drugs. It was one form of trauma after another, after another. It was just not a fun read for me. I couldn't believe that a girl who went through everything she had before the age of 12 had never gone to therapy.
We don't even meet MMC Bash until the halfway point and I was so exhausted already that I had no room for his own past traumas and I really didn't care to meet or learn about him by that point. I wasn't even rooting for Lydia to be with anyone.
The book could have been edited down and pages could have been cut. Many scenes in college /felt/ like I was sitting through a lecture and not in a good way. Overall, just not very enjoyable.
April 17, 2026
Tell Me I’m Not The Villain had a lot of great ideas in the works, and the emotions to potentially back up those ideas, but for me it suffered from trying to throw in “everything but the kitchen sink.” With a page count above 700 there were some redundancies, especially to our fmc’s emotions, though important to show, they just went on for pages. This can be said for a lot of monotonous day to day things, ‘she got dressed,’ ‘he brushed his teeth,’ type sentences. Authors trigger warnings note all the hard topics our mc’s face, who don’t even meet until after 38%. First half is all FMC from childhood til college, and all the trauma she’s suffered, which was a lot. I get we want our FMC damaged, I just think it would have worked better, for me, with a less is more attitude. Someone tells our FMC to stop playing the victim, and I felt it throughout.
Thanks to BookSirens for this ARC, my opinions are my own.
Thanks to BookSirens for this ARC, my opinions are my own.
July 29, 2026
3⭐️ I read this book because Tik tok said it was similar to boys of tommen but I do not agree. This should’ve been split up into two books or less added dialogue. Idk but it was so much. Also the man characters didn’t start interacting until 70% of the book was done?? The book was written really well until she left for college and then it was too much. I felt like bash used her as a project, trying to fix her. Idk if you read the reviews of people who rated it 3 stars or less I agree almost completely with all of them
January 10, 2026
6 ⭐️
TMINTV read like a letter written from the brain to the heart, then transcribed to the soul so that it could be permanently etched and shared across all spans of places and time.
From the moment you start reading, you’re sucked into a contextual historic narrative of the FMC that is quite literally equivalent to watching a car crash— you see the danger right away and you want to do something, but not only are you frozen in time, but you also aren’t equipped to provide the support that is truly necessary.
Every time that you think you’ve gotten relief throughout the book, your heart will be cracked open like a pomegranate, each piece being carefully but impossibly messily extracted and no surface will be spared from evidence of the process that is and was taking place.
It’s a book about everything— grief, love, trauma, addiction, generational curses, healing, friendship, family dynamics, redemption, the power to write your own story, faith, and so much more. TMINTV was an experience in coming home to yourself, analyzing the bare bones of your foundation— deciding what stays, what is removed, and what is necessary to refurbish. I felt rage, immense joy, disappointment, redemption, kick-your-feet giddiness, and the mercy of true grace and love. The characters are so very real, relatable, and comparable to people you know or stories you’ve heard.
Through this book, you get a glimpse of what life can be like to live loved, and how little that has to do with what you do but rather who you are. You see the process of stripping away power from undeserving factors (including ourselves in some ways) and returning it back to where it belongs. When you get it, you’ll get it; you may have to read to understand.
Grace, and the discovery of/belief in it as a force in your life, really changes the trajectory of your path. It’s experiential guidance, warning, and circumstantial truth through lived experiences. A true transgression from darkness to light. How powerful is it to know that as long as you’re here, there’s a way to turn things around and get back on track in your life? It was pretty incredible to see how that looked in the lives of the characters.
I’m really grateful to have been a part of this journey! I’m fully on the edge of my seat just thinking about book 2 as the focus shifts to the paths of some of the other beloved characters introduced here in book 1.
TMINTV read like a letter written from the brain to the heart, then transcribed to the soul so that it could be permanently etched and shared across all spans of places and time.
From the moment you start reading, you’re sucked into a contextual historic narrative of the FMC that is quite literally equivalent to watching a car crash— you see the danger right away and you want to do something, but not only are you frozen in time, but you also aren’t equipped to provide the support that is truly necessary.
Every time that you think you’ve gotten relief throughout the book, your heart will be cracked open like a pomegranate, each piece being carefully but impossibly messily extracted and no surface will be spared from evidence of the process that is and was taking place.
It’s a book about everything— grief, love, trauma, addiction, generational curses, healing, friendship, family dynamics, redemption, the power to write your own story, faith, and so much more. TMINTV was an experience in coming home to yourself, analyzing the bare bones of your foundation— deciding what stays, what is removed, and what is necessary to refurbish. I felt rage, immense joy, disappointment, redemption, kick-your-feet giddiness, and the mercy of true grace and love. The characters are so very real, relatable, and comparable to people you know or stories you’ve heard.
Through this book, you get a glimpse of what life can be like to live loved, and how little that has to do with what you do but rather who you are. You see the process of stripping away power from undeserving factors (including ourselves in some ways) and returning it back to where it belongs. When you get it, you’ll get it; you may have to read to understand.
Grace, and the discovery of/belief in it as a force in your life, really changes the trajectory of your path. It’s experiential guidance, warning, and circumstantial truth through lived experiences. A true transgression from darkness to light. How powerful is it to know that as long as you’re here, there’s a way to turn things around and get back on track in your life? It was pretty incredible to see how that looked in the lives of the characters.
I’m really grateful to have been a part of this journey! I’m fully on the edge of my seat just thinking about book 2 as the focus shifts to the paths of some of the other beloved characters introduced here in book 1.
January 15, 2026
4.5 ⭐️
A rollercoaster of real life hard topics handled so raw yet with genuine care. I have never read anything like this before. The way the characters faith is woven felt realistic. I stayed up all night reading the first 40% and did not want to put it down at any point. I loved the relationships between the characters. Some elements gave me the suspense of Euphoria and the emotional depth of Boys of Tommen, especially with the glimpses we get into the side characters’ lives. I cannot wait for the next book and I am so glad this series is not ending here.
A rollercoaster of real life hard topics handled so raw yet with genuine care. I have never read anything like this before. The way the characters faith is woven felt realistic. I stayed up all night reading the first 40% and did not want to put it down at any point. I loved the relationships between the characters. Some elements gave me the suspense of Euphoria and the emotional depth of Boys of Tommen, especially with the glimpses we get into the side characters’ lives. I cannot wait for the next book and I am so glad this series is not ending here.
Did Not Finish
July 27, 2026tro inte på någon som säger att denna bok är bra eller att den är lik BOT. i’m sorry men det var längesen jag läste något så dåligt. 25% gav jag den och då var jag ändå snäll.
Did Not Finish
July 31, 2026dnf at 46% – i just can’t force myself to read any more of this.
such a shame, but once again i fell for booktok hype and ended up with absolute garbage.
the fmc doesn’t make me sympathize with her – she makes me want to slap her. she’s the most immature, reckless, and painfully naive heroine i’ve come across in a while. the plot itself had potential, and the side characters were actually decent, but lydia single-handedly ruined the entire reading experience for me.
what a waste, because this book literally had all my favorite tropes and triggers…
such a shame, but once again i fell for booktok hype and ended up with absolute garbage.
the fmc doesn’t make me sympathize with her – she makes me want to slap her. she’s the most immature, reckless, and painfully naive heroine i’ve come across in a while. the plot itself had potential, and the side characters were actually decent, but lydia single-handedly ruined the entire reading experience for me.
what a waste, because this book literally had all my favorite tropes and triggers…
August 25, 2026
god tier. incredible.
going into this, a 700 page romance book intimidated me. eventually, i wanted it to be longer. i flew through this in almost one day and it didn’t feel like a long book at all. i was hooked from the beginning to the very last page.
what a ode to mental health, addiction, and trauma representation. the care that this author had towards these topics — they were handled with such grace and rawness. this book was heavy. there were some parts of this that hit me hard personally and i had to disconnect a bit because they were SO real. this was beautifully done, difficult to read at times but also impossible to put down, and overall, one of my new favorite books of all time.
going into this, a 700 page romance book intimidated me. eventually, i wanted it to be longer. i flew through this in almost one day and it didn’t feel like a long book at all. i was hooked from the beginning to the very last page.
what a ode to mental health, addiction, and trauma representation. the care that this author had towards these topics — they were handled with such grace and rawness. this book was heavy. there were some parts of this that hit me hard personally and i had to disconnect a bit because they were SO real. this was beautifully done, difficult to read at times but also impossible to put down, and overall, one of my new favorite books of all time.
July 22, 2026
4.5 ⭐️ i wish i could insert the photo of me sobbing to this
May 12, 2026
I’m not trying to be mean but I’m about to go on a rant.
This book could’ve had potential if it hadn’t been starving for a real editor, if it’d been cut in half and actually researched the heavy shit it tries to pull off. It’s long. It’s repetitive. It never stops repeating itself.
Reading about what Lydia had to endure actually broke my heart it was devastating. I’m not downplaying her trauma when I say that doesn’t give her a pass to be written so bitchy for the whole book.
She treated everyone who actually cared about her like trash, especially her best friend who was an absolute angel. Her apologies weren't even real she only said sorry when she realized she was about to be cut off, just so she could get back in her good graces and do it all over again. Even at the end, none of it felt genuine. She was just written so selfishly.
One of the biggest things that made zero sense and pissed me off was the foster parents. You’re telling me these "loving" parents, who have fostered kids for years, just let their minor daughter lock herself away for days? She’s underage, she isn't eating, and she has black eyes and bruises, but they just... let her? Be for real. In real life, if you actually care about someone, that door is getting kicked in. You don’t just "not notice" that stuff. It’s just lazy writing. A whole contradiction of what their characters were like.
If you’re going to write about domestic violence and childhood trauma, you have to do the work and actually research it. Real survivors deserve a story that’s respectful, not just trauma thrown in for drama. It was messy, repetitive, and just didn’t feel authentic.
This book could’ve had potential if it hadn’t been starving for a real editor, if it’d been cut in half and actually researched the heavy shit it tries to pull off. It’s long. It’s repetitive. It never stops repeating itself.
Reading about what Lydia had to endure actually broke my heart it was devastating. I’m not downplaying her trauma when I say that doesn’t give her a pass to be written so bitchy for the whole book.
She treated everyone who actually cared about her like trash, especially her best friend who was an absolute angel. Her apologies weren't even real she only said sorry when she realized she was about to be cut off, just so she could get back in her good graces and do it all over again. Even at the end, none of it felt genuine. She was just written so selfishly.
One of the biggest things that made zero sense and pissed me off was the foster parents. You’re telling me these "loving" parents, who have fostered kids for years, just let their minor daughter lock herself away for days? She’s underage, she isn't eating, and she has black eyes and bruises, but they just... let her? Be for real. In real life, if you actually care about someone, that door is getting kicked in. You don’t just "not notice" that stuff. It’s just lazy writing. A whole contradiction of what their characters were like.
If you’re going to write about domestic violence and childhood trauma, you have to do the work and actually research it. Real survivors deserve a story that’s respectful, not just trauma thrown in for drama. It was messy, repetitive, and just didn’t feel authentic.
December 17, 2025
4.5/5 stars ⭐️
I loved how beautifully written this was. All the painful topics were handled with care and sensitivity. This was a heavy read incorporating topics including loss, grief, anxiety, depression, and more but it never felt careless. I also appreciated the recovery focus and the thoughtful mental health insights throughout the book. I loved how faith and belief was weaved into the story in such a meaningful way. Lydia and Bash (ugh this author writes the best couples). The characters had so much depth and I loved the found family aspect. I’m so excited this is becoming a series and I cannot wait for the next two books! I’m so grateful to have received an ARC copy of this book.
I loved how beautifully written this was. All the painful topics were handled with care and sensitivity. This was a heavy read incorporating topics including loss, grief, anxiety, depression, and more but it never felt careless. I also appreciated the recovery focus and the thoughtful mental health insights throughout the book. I loved how faith and belief was weaved into the story in such a meaningful way. Lydia and Bash (ugh this author writes the best couples). The characters had so much depth and I loved the found family aspect. I’m so excited this is becoming a series and I cannot wait for the next two books! I’m so grateful to have received an ARC copy of this book.
July 2, 2026
have never read a book where the main character turned to religion and don’t know if that kinda plot is for me
May 10, 2026
I... I just need a minute...
I'll be back with my review in the morning
Okay but THIS BOOK??? An actual masterpiece. Like genuinely one of those books that consumes your every thought until you finish it. The kind where you’re at work, doing chores, pretending to be a functioning adult while your brain is just screaming “I need to get back to my book immediately.” ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Lydia’s story absolutely wrecked me. The amount of trauma and cruelty she endured was genuinely heartbreaking and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so fiercely protective over a character before. Every time someone treated her horribly I was ready to fight fictional people through the pages because WHY was everyone so awful to this girl?? And Eli… yeah. That’s all I’m saying before I start throwing hands.
When Lydia got to college I was SO relieved she finally had a chance at a fresh start, but knowing everything she’d been through, I already knew healing wasn’t going to be simple. And that one scene… IYKYK. Oh my god. I literally teared up and I NEVER cry while reading. Ever. But reading that moment from Lydia’s POV and then Simone’s??? Absolutely shattered me. My Shayla 😭💔
And Bash??? OBSESSED. I love that man so much. Him and Lydia felt inevitable in the best possible way, like no matter what happened they were always going to find their way back to each other. Their connection was EVERYTHING. The only tiny critique I have is that I selfishly wanted a little more romance content between them because I loved them that much, but honestly the story worked beautifully as it was.
I also loved seeing Lydia finally find her people at college because after everything she deserved love, friendship and happiness more than anyone.
I genuinely cannot wait for the rest of this series!
I'll be back with my review in the morning
Okay but THIS BOOK??? An actual masterpiece. Like genuinely one of those books that consumes your every thought until you finish it. The kind where you’re at work, doing chores, pretending to be a functioning adult while your brain is just screaming “I need to get back to my book immediately.” ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Lydia’s story absolutely wrecked me. The amount of trauma and cruelty she endured was genuinely heartbreaking and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so fiercely protective over a character before. Every time someone treated her horribly I was ready to fight fictional people through the pages because WHY was everyone so awful to this girl?? And Eli… yeah. That’s all I’m saying before I start throwing hands.
When Lydia got to college I was SO relieved she finally had a chance at a fresh start, but knowing everything she’d been through, I already knew healing wasn’t going to be simple. And that one scene… IYKYK. Oh my god. I literally teared up and I NEVER cry while reading. Ever. But reading that moment from Lydia’s POV and then Simone’s??? Absolutely shattered me. My Shayla 😭💔
And Bash??? OBSESSED. I love that man so much. Him and Lydia felt inevitable in the best possible way, like no matter what happened they were always going to find their way back to each other. Their connection was EVERYTHING. The only tiny critique I have is that I selfishly wanted a little more romance content between them because I loved them that much, but honestly the story worked beautifully as it was.
I also loved seeing Lydia finally find her people at college because after everything she deserved love, friendship and happiness more than anyone.
I genuinely cannot wait for the rest of this series!
February 1, 2026
This book felt like faith took my hand and said “let’s go on a (700 page) journey”. TMINTV walks you through the life of Lydia as a child all the way through to adulthood. You get insight into where all of her turmoil stems from, which as a reader, is something I really appreciate in a book. There was never a moment where I wondered why or where or how, and the author didn’t answer my question. This book was hard to read and hard to put down. I looked forward to learning more about each of the characters every time I picked it up. The author did a phenomenal job with the way she described anxiety and depression… lack of desire mixed with too much desire… joy and sadness and just all of the emotions and feelings that may arise when life deals you a difficult card. I was really able to understand Lydia because of the authors writing. This is a book I would recommend but please check the trigger warnings. Topics like drug use, overdose, suicide and suicidal ideations, anxiety, depression and rape are a few of the heavier topics discussed in this book.
January 26, 2026
It’s a heavy read but one that was intentional and handled with care. I enjoyed spending time with Lydia and her girls, Simone and Lani. The found family aspect was one of my favorite parts and brought so much warmth to an intense story. Lydia felt so real in the way she carries guilt, self-doubt, and the constant fear of being the villain in her own story. Bash’s faith journey was also well done, his internal conflict felt honest and realistic especially with how close he came to losing his sobriety himself. Overall this book was emotionally heavy, character driven and impactful and I can’t wait for the next book in the series!
It explores difficult topics like substance abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, suicide, and mental health struggles like depression and anxiety.
It explores difficult topics like substance abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, suicide, and mental health struggles like depression and anxiety.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 18, 2026
Wow , I’m not sure where to even start ! This book took me a while to read because it brought me through so many emotions all at once ! I don’t think I’ve ever read a book that made me brawl my eyes out and made me want to meet the characters in real life . This book was extremely deep but so real ! I enjoyed reading it so much , it taught me more about mental health and how our bodies and brains function after trauma. Lydia’s remediation was just beautiful! I was so excited to see her finally being loved the way she deserved to be loved , I also enjoyed Bash’s story line . All I can say is , the book is worth the read and worth all the emotions and slight triggers . Faith is an amazing writer !
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 29, 2026
2.5 stars
This book had loads of potential but In my opinion it was messy, this should have been split into two books rather then 700 pages,
Book 1 the trauma - ending where Eli had killed himself- getting more depth around the characters
Book 2 dealing with the grief of the trauma- rebuilding/ learning to trust again- mainly because most of the characters were new, there was only her best friend which was a constant in both parts of the story.
Her school story should have been its own book, this way we would have gotten to know the characters better, more conversations/ interactions, showing Eli’s point of view which drove him to the suicide rather than just skipping big chunks of the timeline out. So much of the story felt like it was missing. John all of a sudden liked her! He wasn’t even much of a main character usually just stood with Eli or at the parties with Eli, they could have made him more involved in their story possibly seeing how possessive his friend was or the bruises on Lydia. He could have interacted more with Lydia become a safe place for her, I just felt like they threw him in at the end before she went to college.
Then the part of the book where bash came in I felt like there wasn’t really much of a story just constantly going over the same things about their grief. This part of the book got boring and I found myself skimming over the pages. Yet again lack of place settings or good character banter/ friendship/ depth
The book mainly focuses on what’s going on in the FMC’s head, I found the most interesting character to be the drug dealer and I thought maybe they could of ended up together in a plot twist.
This is definitely not a romance book and focuses more on heavy topics
This book had loads of potential but In my opinion it was messy, this should have been split into two books rather then 700 pages,
Book 1 the trauma - ending where Eli had killed himself- getting more depth around the characters
Book 2 dealing with the grief of the trauma- rebuilding/ learning to trust again- mainly because most of the characters were new, there was only her best friend which was a constant in both parts of the story.
Her school story should have been its own book, this way we would have gotten to know the characters better, more conversations/ interactions, showing Eli’s point of view which drove him to the suicide rather than just skipping big chunks of the timeline out. So much of the story felt like it was missing. John all of a sudden liked her! He wasn’t even much of a main character usually just stood with Eli or at the parties with Eli, they could have made him more involved in their story possibly seeing how possessive his friend was or the bruises on Lydia. He could have interacted more with Lydia become a safe place for her, I just felt like they threw him in at the end before she went to college.
Then the part of the book where bash came in I felt like there wasn’t really much of a story just constantly going over the same things about their grief. This part of the book got boring and I found myself skimming over the pages. Yet again lack of place settings or good character banter/ friendship/ depth
The book mainly focuses on what’s going on in the FMC’s head, I found the most interesting character to be the drug dealer and I thought maybe they could of ended up together in a plot twist.
This is definitely not a romance book and focuses more on heavy topics
August 16, 2026
4.5 ⭐️
It didn't hit like a 5 star book but it had qualities that felt like a 5 star book but I’m picky sooo 4.5-4.75.
WOW. This is HEAVY and SO relatable for many people struggling with mental health. It was not a fun time and you should def check trigger warnings and bring tissue.
Lydia’s story was so fkn painful and heartbreaking. I teared up so many times and just couldn’t believe what I was reading.
Multiple reviews mention how religion is pushed on you but I didn’t feel that way at all. I also see ppl comparing this to BOT and that just isn’t fair. Go in with no expectations. Buckle up though cus it’s a rideeee.
OH the found family in here? OH they RIDEEE for each other. <3
It didn't hit like a 5 star book but it had qualities that felt like a 5 star book but I’m picky sooo 4.5-4.75.
WOW. This is HEAVY and SO relatable for many people struggling with mental health. It was not a fun time and you should def check trigger warnings and bring tissue.
Lydia’s story was so fkn painful and heartbreaking. I teared up so many times and just couldn’t believe what I was reading.
Multiple reviews mention how religion is pushed on you but I didn’t feel that way at all. I also see ppl comparing this to BOT and that just isn’t fair. Go in with no expectations. Buckle up though cus it’s a rideeee.
OH the found family in here? OH they RIDEEE for each other. <3
July 18, 2026
i really appreciate the authors writing style. i've read several books that begin when the main character pov beings as a child and sometimes it's underwhelming. in contrast this book was consistently engaging, heartbreaking and suspenseful. i wasn't sure how the plot would progress which kept me reading. i like how we got introduced to bash's pov - it was a lovely surprise. lydia's journey to recovery was hard to read i kept wishing for only good thing happen for her. this book got me out of a reading slump. i'm looking forward to reading the 2nd book.
July 31, 2026
wow almost 700 pages of nothing i’m irritated.
this book was sooo repetitive (there’s no point to repeat the same chapter but from mmc’s pov), & lydia was annoying. i know it’s a healing book but there’s been no healing done, she’s js irritated my whole existence.
& there was no love, no passion, no chemistry, nothing between bash & lydia. watching paint dry would’ve been more romantic genuinely.
also wow lydia was a horrible friend idc what she was struggling with it actually gets to a point, she’s just a loser.
but yeah this book could’ve been summed up to 400 pages. no reason for the earlier chapters to be 50% of the book & only like 20% of it was adding any plot.
this book was sooo repetitive (there’s no point to repeat the same chapter but from mmc’s pov), & lydia was annoying. i know it’s a healing book but there’s been no healing done, she’s js irritated my whole existence.
& there was no love, no passion, no chemistry, nothing between bash & lydia. watching paint dry would’ve been more romantic genuinely.
also wow lydia was a horrible friend idc what she was struggling with it actually gets to a point, she’s just a loser.
but yeah this book could’ve been summed up to 400 pages. no reason for the earlier chapters to be 50% of the book & only like 20% of it was adding any plot.
July 4, 2026
This was definitely an intense read. It tackles some really heavy topics, especially addiction, trauma, and the lasting effects they can have on a person's life. It's one of those books where it feels a little strange to say I enjoyed it because of everything the characters go through, but overall I did.
One of my favorite parts was the friendships that developed throughout the story. Those relationships added some really heartfelt moments and gave the characters people to lean on when they needed it most.
I went back and forth between giving this 3 or 4 stars for a while, but I ultimately landed on 3 stars. For me, it felt longer than it needed to be at times, and I think that affected my overall enjoyment.
One thing that surprised me was the amount of religious content in the second part of the book. I wasn't expecting it, and it kind of caught me off guard. It isn't that I have anything against religion at all… it just isn't something I personally gravitate toward in books, especially when it feels like such a significant shift from the first part of the story. That said, I understand why it was included and how it played an important role in the characters recovery journey. It just wasn't something I personally connected with as much.
Overall, this was an emotional, thought-provoking read that wasn't afraid to dive into difficult subjects and I’m glad I picked it up.
One of my favorite parts was the friendships that developed throughout the story. Those relationships added some really heartfelt moments and gave the characters people to lean on when they needed it most.
I went back and forth between giving this 3 or 4 stars for a while, but I ultimately landed on 3 stars. For me, it felt longer than it needed to be at times, and I think that affected my overall enjoyment.
One thing that surprised me was the amount of religious content in the second part of the book. I wasn't expecting it, and it kind of caught me off guard. It isn't that I have anything against religion at all… it just isn't something I personally gravitate toward in books, especially when it feels like such a significant shift from the first part of the story. That said, I understand why it was included and how it played an important role in the characters recovery journey. It just wasn't something I personally connected with as much.
Overall, this was an emotional, thought-provoking read that wasn't afraid to dive into difficult subjects and I’m glad I picked it up.
Did Not Finish
July 27, 2026I got the privilege of getting to read this book from the author herself, it started of really good and promising, however it got to a point where everything just felt so heavy and traumatic.
I could not enjoy the book after the 40% mark because it felt like the heavy stuff where all over the place and the author were constantly adding more trauma to the fmc, to the point i couldn’t relate anymore. I guess i didn’t feel for the couple either. I had to dnf so that I’d protect my own peace of mind.
I’m sad i didn’t enjoy this since I’d love to support every new author that reaches out to me and wants me to read their book. However I have to be honest and this did unfortunately not hit for me. Maybe for someone else <3
I could not enjoy the book after the 40% mark because it felt like the heavy stuff where all over the place and the author were constantly adding more trauma to the fmc, to the point i couldn’t relate anymore. I guess i didn’t feel for the couple either. I had to dnf so that I’d protect my own peace of mind.
I’m sad i didn’t enjoy this since I’d love to support every new author that reaches out to me and wants me to read their book. However I have to be honest and this did unfortunately not hit for me. Maybe for someone else <3
July 19, 2026
This book. Wow. I’ve never felt so connected to the FMC. I will forever cherish & be grateful for coming across this author. My heart is so broken & so mended in one go. My words can’t even express. This book made me remember why I’m here.
🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
October 28, 2025
• My Reading Experience: Loved It!!!!
• Book Spice: None
• Adjusted Rating: 4.5 stars!!
• POV: 1st Person / Dual
• Content Thoughts:
This book is such a beautiful exploration of redemption and self-definition. It captures the idea that you don’t have to be who people assume you are based on rumors, mistakes, or their limited understanding of your story. Watching the FMC fight to reclaim her narrative and rebuild herself was incredibly moving.
The way her journey unfolds—where it feels like she’s destined to lose the people and things she loves no matter how hard she tries—is both heartbreaking and captivating. You can’t help but root for her and feel that ache right alongside her.
I also really enjoyed how the author structured the story. Even though there aren’t explicit section markers, the book flows almost like a Part 1 and Part 2. Part 1 delves deep into the FMC’s struggles, backstory, and motivations, while Part 2 focuses on her redemption arc and the romance. The shift is seamless and emotionally satisfying.
The connection between the main characters felt genuine, and I loved watching it grow. I actually found myself wishing for even more moments of them bonding—it was that good. The side characters also deserve a shoutout; they were warm, supportive, and the kind of friends everyone should have in real life—the ones who want to see you win.
Overall, I loved it! 🥰 It’s heartfelt, hopeful, and a reminder that our past doesn’t have to define our future.
🧚Disclaimer: My reviews and ratings are always honest and based on my own reading experience. Your experience might be totally different—and that’s okay!🧚
• Book Spice: None
• Adjusted Rating: 4.5 stars!!
• POV: 1st Person / Dual
• Content Thoughts:
This book is such a beautiful exploration of redemption and self-definition. It captures the idea that you don’t have to be who people assume you are based on rumors, mistakes, or their limited understanding of your story. Watching the FMC fight to reclaim her narrative and rebuild herself was incredibly moving.
The way her journey unfolds—where it feels like she’s destined to lose the people and things she loves no matter how hard she tries—is both heartbreaking and captivating. You can’t help but root for her and feel that ache right alongside her.
I also really enjoyed how the author structured the story. Even though there aren’t explicit section markers, the book flows almost like a Part 1 and Part 2. Part 1 delves deep into the FMC’s struggles, backstory, and motivations, while Part 2 focuses on her redemption arc and the romance. The shift is seamless and emotionally satisfying.
The connection between the main characters felt genuine, and I loved watching it grow. I actually found myself wishing for even more moments of them bonding—it was that good. The side characters also deserve a shoutout; they were warm, supportive, and the kind of friends everyone should have in real life—the ones who want to see you win.
Overall, I loved it! 🥰 It’s heartfelt, hopeful, and a reminder that our past doesn’t have to define our future.
🧚Disclaimer: My reviews and ratings are always honest and based on my own reading experience. Your experience might be totally different—and that’s okay!🧚
November 10, 2025
First off this is the longest book I’ve read since getting back into reading and how fast I finished it should be studied!
This book is kinda split into three parts- not clear but you’ll know.
Lydia’s story before she went to college is a lot! Everything she went through was so hard to read. But Faith being able to write all the tough and emotional parts so delicately but raw is amazing!
College Lydia while heartbreaking some to read- it felt so real. Like I see the choices she made and why.
Her redemption arc is messy but worth it!
I loved the friendship of Lyd, Simone and Lani! Having people who you care about and care about you equally is so important when you’re going through so much!
I really enjoyed bash and how patient and kind he was- how understanding he was of lyd. While also going through his own struggles!
He’s book boyfriend!
Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this book! Thank you so much Faith for allowing me to read this early!
This book is kinda split into three parts- not clear but you’ll know.
Lydia’s story before she went to college is a lot! Everything she went through was so hard to read. But Faith being able to write all the tough and emotional parts so delicately but raw is amazing!
College Lydia while heartbreaking some to read- it felt so real. Like I see the choices she made and why.
Her redemption arc is messy but worth it!
I loved the friendship of Lyd, Simone and Lani! Having people who you care about and care about you equally is so important when you’re going through so much!
I really enjoyed bash and how patient and kind he was- how understanding he was of lyd. While also going through his own struggles!
He’s book boyfriend!
Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this book! Thank you so much Faith for allowing me to read this early!
November 27, 2025
Just wow
October 10, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Faith Pincay has done it again. This is one of those emotional roller coasters that will have you questioning your own life, your own faith, your own struggles. It truly was a work of art. She handles mental health, substance abuse, and the dynamics of trauma SO WELL. It was worth every moment and every read. Thank you to this beautiful author who sent me this ARC. January truly can’t come fast enough!
Faith Pincay has done it again. This is one of those emotional roller coasters that will have you questioning your own life, your own faith, your own struggles. It truly was a work of art. She handles mental health, substance abuse, and the dynamics of trauma SO WELL. It was worth every moment and every read. Thank you to this beautiful author who sent me this ARC. January truly can’t come fast enough!
January 27, 2026
i liked the themes talked about in this book however it felt very long considering since we don’t meet the mmc until 300 pages in. i understand this was to establish lydia’s background but it felt a little dragged out. i wish we saw more of her dynamic with her foster parents in part one. i’m also not a fan of the religiousness from part two onwards
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