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Take the Long Way Home
Dresden Marich has failed out of high school three months shy of graduation. He’s infatuated with his online friend, Evan, alienated from his family and former classmates, and still trying to recover from his father’s death six years ago. He’s also keeping a troubling secret about his older brother, Gunner, who is away at boot camp.
Then Dresden meets Caleb, a judgmental environmentalist who’s hardly Dresden’s fantasy come true. But Caleb seems to understand Dresden’s desire for rough sex, big feelings, and, ultimately, safety. As Dresden becomes embroiled in a farmers market drama involving Caleb, a couple of bullying tomato enthusiasts, and a gang of vigilante vegans, he discovers he might be willing to trade a fantasy relationship with Evan for a shot at something real with Caleb.
But Dresden fears telling quick-to-judge Caleb his secret, and the news that Gunner is coming home sends him fleeing to California for a chance to meet Evan in person and hopefully fall in love. When the encounter doesn’t go as expected, Dresden faces a choice: stay in California and carve out a new life, or take the long road home to his family, Caleb, and a past he must face if he has any hope for a future.
Then Dresden meets Caleb, a judgmental environmentalist who’s hardly Dresden’s fantasy come true. But Caleb seems to understand Dresden’s desire for rough sex, big feelings, and, ultimately, safety. As Dresden becomes embroiled in a farmers market drama involving Caleb, a couple of bullying tomato enthusiasts, and a gang of vigilante vegans, he discovers he might be willing to trade a fantasy relationship with Evan for a shot at something real with Caleb.
But Dresden fears telling quick-to-judge Caleb his secret, and the news that Gunner is coming home sends him fleeing to California for a chance to meet Evan in person and hopefully fall in love. When the encounter doesn’t go as expected, Dresden faces a choice: stay in California and carve out a new life, or take the long road home to his family, Caleb, and a past he must face if he has any hope for a future.
225 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 20, 2015
28 people are currently reading
544 people want to read
About the author
J.A. Rock
52 books561 followersJ.A. Rock is the author or coauthor of over twenty LGBTQ romance, suspense, and horror novels, as well as an occasional contributor to HuffPo Queer Voices. J.A. has received Lambda Literary and INDIEFAB Award nominations for MINOTAUR, and THE SUBS CLUB received the 2016 National Leather Association-International Pauline Reage Novel Award. J.A. lives in Chicago with an extremely judgmental dog, Professor Anne Studebaker.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 89 reviews
January 23, 2015
I am notoriously poor at writing reviews of books I love. How, then, do I communicate how special I think Take the Long Way Home is?
I love the M/M genre. Adore it. And in many respects it is a lot like late-Renaissance Mannerism, in that it’s notable for its artificial nature. M/M doesn’t attempt to represent reality. It doesn’t say, “This is what gay sex is like. This book shows an actual gay relationship.” On the contrary, M/M is precisely not naturalistic. Aspects of the genre are vastly removed from real life. It comprises a really interesting appropriation of gay (and bi) characters to talk about aspects of desire--female desire, queer desire, male desire, non-binary desire—and not necessarily sexual desire, but also desire (and lack of desire) for domesticity, desire for escape, desire for friendship, desire for a meaningful identity.
M/M is mannered in that it is distinguished by a certain style. Each book calls back to a common pool of source materials, synthesizing slash, fan fiction, gay fiction, and all the previous M/M books created, into these distinct kinds of stories in which men have sex with other men in a way that is almost entirely, but not completely, unlike the real thing. Stories that are, in some aspects, patently false; no longer harmonious and rational, that twist and bend “reality” to their own ends.
Looking at M/M as a mannered genre, then, Take the Long Way Home is not M/M, because it catches—it’s designed to catch--a particular messy, wet, uncomfortable sense of lived life, that is not patently false, but instead twists the story back into reality and out through the other side, where the words hook and spear the ugliness of life, and in that ugliness dwell moments of the sublime. It’s not Mannerism; it’s Art Brut. There’s cum and piss and spit and scribbly lines. Oh, but god, it’s so beautiful in that rawness.
When Dresden tells us that sex has always been, “over fast, and me on my bike peddling home, sore and defiant, grimly grown up-- but also somehow like I’ve been pranked,” well, fuck. Just. FUCK. Yes, this.
And when he's let himself be pissed on by a man he only just met online, but then he meets Caleb and he tells us, “I turn and put my head against his chest, not something I would normally do to a stranger." That’s a moment of gritty truth, right there. Sure, sloppy holes and double penetration, but emotional closeness? And not pretty emotions. Really screwed up, uncertain, half-conscious emotions.
Because let’s face it, we have nowhere to go with sex acts in M/M. We have it covered, from disembowelling to butterfly kisses.; fist a cotton shirt, or fist an anus. But for a story to explore how fucked up we all are inside, and how impossible it is to find someone who will deal with that shit with you, in a way that is raw and honest and true? Well, that’s still a rare treasure.
And to do it with humor? And this writing?
“He laughs, a funnny, hushed sound, like closing a window.”
This is JA Rock taking M/M where I’ve been yearning for it to go. Something recognisable, but more. I was gobsmacked, because nothing I’ve read from her before told me this was coming, and I want to thrust this book at you and tell you to read it. I know it will be weird, because we’ve been looking at the same paintings on the wall for the last five years, and this is like that Salon where they kicked the Impressionists out, but just . . . take a second, pause, and see it. See what Rock has done here. Because it’s wonderful.
I love the M/M genre. Adore it. And in many respects it is a lot like late-Renaissance Mannerism, in that it’s notable for its artificial nature. M/M doesn’t attempt to represent reality. It doesn’t say, “This is what gay sex is like. This book shows an actual gay relationship.” On the contrary, M/M is precisely not naturalistic. Aspects of the genre are vastly removed from real life. It comprises a really interesting appropriation of gay (and bi) characters to talk about aspects of desire--female desire, queer desire, male desire, non-binary desire—and not necessarily sexual desire, but also desire (and lack of desire) for domesticity, desire for escape, desire for friendship, desire for a meaningful identity.
M/M is mannered in that it is distinguished by a certain style. Each book calls back to a common pool of source materials, synthesizing slash, fan fiction, gay fiction, and all the previous M/M books created, into these distinct kinds of stories in which men have sex with other men in a way that is almost entirely, but not completely, unlike the real thing. Stories that are, in some aspects, patently false; no longer harmonious and rational, that twist and bend “reality” to their own ends.
Looking at M/M as a mannered genre, then, Take the Long Way Home is not M/M, because it catches—it’s designed to catch--a particular messy, wet, uncomfortable sense of lived life, that is not patently false, but instead twists the story back into reality and out through the other side, where the words hook and spear the ugliness of life, and in that ugliness dwell moments of the sublime. It’s not Mannerism; it’s Art Brut. There’s cum and piss and spit and scribbly lines. Oh, but god, it’s so beautiful in that rawness.
When Dresden tells us that sex has always been, “over fast, and me on my bike peddling home, sore and defiant, grimly grown up-- but also somehow like I’ve been pranked,” well, fuck. Just. FUCK. Yes, this.
And when he's let himself be pissed on by a man he only just met online, but then he meets Caleb and he tells us, “I turn and put my head against his chest, not something I would normally do to a stranger." That’s a moment of gritty truth, right there. Sure, sloppy holes and double penetration, but emotional closeness? And not pretty emotions. Really screwed up, uncertain, half-conscious emotions.
Because let’s face it, we have nowhere to go with sex acts in M/M. We have it covered, from disembowelling to butterfly kisses.; fist a cotton shirt, or fist an anus. But for a story to explore how fucked up we all are inside, and how impossible it is to find someone who will deal with that shit with you, in a way that is raw and honest and true? Well, that’s still a rare treasure.
And to do it with humor? And this writing?
“He laughs, a funnny, hushed sound, like closing a window.”
This is JA Rock taking M/M where I’ve been yearning for it to go. Something recognisable, but more. I was gobsmacked, because nothing I’ve read from her before told me this was coming, and I want to thrust this book at you and tell you to read it. I know it will be weird, because we’ve been looking at the same paintings on the wall for the last five years, and this is like that Salon where they kicked the Impressionists out, but just . . . take a second, pause, and see it. See what Rock has done here. Because it’s wonderful.
January 27, 2015
I was not going to rate/review this book. It left me unsettled, and I wasn't certain I could give it a fair assessment. But I've sat with it for a few days now, and I want to try.
First of all, if you haven't yet read Vivian's insightful review, which echoes many of my thoughts, DO.
Rock is a strong writer, and the prose here is flawless. The writing easily earns 4+ stars.
There is something quirky and effortless about this story. Dresden's first-person POV has a dreamy, intangible quality that's hypnotizing.
I loved Rock's
. It was charming, snarky, and romantic.
Take the Long Way Home does not appeal in the same way.
I didn't care for either Dresden or Caleb as people. The blurb talks about Caleb being judgmental, but Dresden is too. He's self-centered, delusional, and ungrateful.
This is more a coming-of-age tale than a romance. Dresden doesn't do well focusing on the small things in front of him.
And the ending was, I would argue, deeply unsatisfying. When you have to throw in so many "maybes" to quantify happiness, it trickles away, and the ending dissolves into a For Now, with no H to spare.
First of all, if you haven't yet read Vivian's insightful review, which echoes many of my thoughts, DO.
Rock is a strong writer, and the prose here is flawless. The writing easily earns 4+ stars.
There is something quirky and effortless about this story. Dresden's first-person POV has a dreamy, intangible quality that's hypnotizing.
I loved Rock's
. It was charming, snarky, and romantic. Take the Long Way Home does not appeal in the same way.
I didn't care for either Dresden or Caleb as people. The blurb talks about Caleb being judgmental, but Dresden is too. He's self-centered, delusional, and ungrateful.
This is more a coming-of-age tale than a romance. Dresden doesn't do well focusing on the small things in front of him.
And the ending was, I would argue, deeply unsatisfying. When you have to throw in so many "maybes" to quantify happiness, it trickles away, and the ending dissolves into a For Now, with no H to spare.
February 27, 2020
I bought this book way back in 2015, and decided to dredge it up from the recesses of my Kindle to read over vacation. Let me tell you, this was not a "vacation read."
I completely understand all of the 5-star reviews of this story. It was very powerful, and, at times, extremely hard for me to read. If you want to read an emotional, angsty story about a teenager with serious issues and a history of trauma and his journey to some level of stability, this might be the story for you. However, I grossly underestimated how disturbing this story would be for me.
To be frank, the book made me very uncomfortable.
I'm glad I read it (I think), and I think it was very well written, but it just truly wasn't the right kind of story for me. I read it straight through in one sitting, partly because I wanted it over with, and partly because I was fascinated by the characters. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.
Too real for me, but kudos to J.A. Rock for digging deep and making this story hurt.
goodreads|instagram|twitter|blog
I completely understand all of the 5-star reviews of this story. It was very powerful, and, at times, extremely hard for me to read. If you want to read an emotional, angsty story about a teenager with serious issues and a history of trauma and his journey to some level of stability, this might be the story for you. However, I grossly underestimated how disturbing this story would be for me.
To be frank, the book made me very uncomfortable.
I'm glad I read it (I think), and I think it was very well written, but it just truly wasn't the right kind of story for me. I read it straight through in one sitting, partly because I wanted it over with, and partly because I was fascinated by the characters. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.
Too real for me, but kudos to J.A. Rock for digging deep and making this story hurt.
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January 26, 2015
No matter what I write, I probably won't like it, so I'm just gonna babble until I feel I'm finished and then close it.
This isn't a romance. This is Dresden's coming of age and dealing with some heavy things in his past that have seriously affected him and his family. That said, you're in Dresden's head and there's no escape, which frankly is like free association theater with all the non sequiturs. The story is filled with random turns and tangential explorations of his mind as other "real" events trigger his musings.
He pings around like a pinball throughout and comes to terms with things. Yes, Caleb assists in his self acceptance, but Dresden's complete self absorption means this is not a relationship story, but it has a romantic plot line. If you go into this expecting some grand teenage/new adult romance you're gonna be stymied.
The point of view has a profound effect on the story. The first person stream of consciousness is hypnotic and lulling until there's a deliberate shock as Dresden/we emerge from his mental irreality. As Emma noted, it resembles The Catcher in the Rye with Caleb's disdain and judgment. I see that connection, but to me it felt like Waiting for Godot. Two guys doing nothing. An existential crisis for both. So for people who love those two then this postmodern inspired tale will be the bee knees/kitten's whiskers/etc.
I was not enamored with either of those stories. Thought they were snooze fests thus you'll see it reflected in my rating. The combination of narcissism and self-righteous hypocrisy in many of the secondary characters made me feel like I was reading some tragic hipster play. I connected with the pain, numbness, and Dresden's inability to communicate, but I had to pull myself back to the book time and time again. It dragged for me.
Favorite quote:
This isn't a romance. This is Dresden's coming of age and dealing with some heavy things in his past that have seriously affected him and his family. That said, you're in Dresden's head and there's no escape, which frankly is like free association theater with all the non sequiturs. The story is filled with random turns and tangential explorations of his mind as other "real" events trigger his musings.
He pings around like a pinball throughout and comes to terms with things. Yes, Caleb assists in his self acceptance, but Dresden's complete self absorption means this is not a relationship story, but it has a romantic plot line. If you go into this expecting some grand teenage/new adult romance you're gonna be stymied.
The point of view has a profound effect on the story. The first person stream of consciousness is hypnotic and lulling until there's a deliberate shock as Dresden/we emerge from his mental irreality. As Emma noted, it resembles The Catcher in the Rye with Caleb's disdain and judgment. I see that connection, but to me it felt like Waiting for Godot. Two guys doing nothing. An existential crisis for both. So for people who love those two then this postmodern inspired tale will be the bee knees/kitten's whiskers/etc.
I was not enamored with either of those stories. Thought they were snooze fests thus you'll see it reflected in my rating. The combination of narcissism and self-righteous hypocrisy in many of the secondary characters made me feel like I was reading some tragic hipster play. I connected with the pain, numbness, and Dresden's inability to communicate, but I had to pull myself back to the book time and time again. It dragged for me.
Favorite quote:
“They’re, like, the vegan Tea Party. Regular vegans don’t want to be seen with them.”
Read
January 1, 2015Beta read this.
It gave me real human feelz.
I'm still holding that against JA Rock.
But, you guys, this one is so good. Remember what it was like when you were a teenager making dumb decisions for all the wrong reasons? Or maybe all the right reasons? When you were just trying to figure some shit out?
This book. This book is all about that.
It's also a lot about family, and how family can be the best and the worst thing in your life, sometimes at the same time.
Love this book.
It gave me real human feelz.
I'm still holding that against JA Rock.
But, you guys, this one is so good. Remember what it was like when you were a teenager making dumb decisions for all the wrong reasons? Or maybe all the right reasons? When you were just trying to figure some shit out?
This book. This book is all about that.
It's also a lot about family, and how family can be the best and the worst thing in your life, sometimes at the same time.
Love this book.
February 14, 2015
4.5 Hearts rounded up
Two things you should know from the outset:
● This is not my kind of book. Generally speaking, I'm not a feelz book reader. This is a feelz book. It’s also the quintessential slice of life book whereas I tend to gravitate to books with more of an action bent.
● I got hoodwinked by J.A. Rock. J.A. dropped by the blog to promote this book not too long ago. I read the excerpt and I thought it was going to be a fun rom-com wherein some vegans get butthurt and possibly fall in love. HOODWINKED! Fun is not the first word that comes to mind when describing Take The Long Way Home, though it does have its moments.
However, Dresden despite himself and against all odds won me over. I wanted to choke him, hug him, strangle him and tuck him in at night whispering to him how everything would be ok, to not be so hard on himself. Take The Long Way Home is told in first person present tense and Dresden is the embodiment of present-wholly, completely and utterly present. He’s stunningly intelligent, heartbreakingly observant and he bears his imperfect soul to us for a few short chapters. He’s lost, lonely, fucked up in a lot of ways but he cares, probably too much for his own good. He might not know how to show it or say it, but he tries and at the end of the day that’s all any of us can do.
Dresden and Caleb’s relationship is quiet and organic but theirs is not a traditional love story. There are no big declarations of love or everlasting devotion. It's not fluffy or sweet. They're both damaged. Their relationship has an honesty that I found profound in its simplicity; it’s beauty in its simplest form. They are two flawed people who are trying to figure out if all their imperfections add up to something extraordinary or something commonplace. I feel like Caleb is the lone weakness in this altogether brilliant story. I can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to him and his own darkness than what we were given and I wish Dresden would’ve explored it more. For that I’m deducting a half star.
My barometer on familial dysfunction is skewed to hell and back, so I’ll lay out Dresden’s backstory. He was abused and terrorized by his older brother. His father died suddenly when he was a pre-teen leaving a mother ill-equipped to parent three children and who failed them all more often than not. His sister cuts the heads off her dolls and likes to pretend they’re Mafiosi who snuff each other out in her dollhouse. Whatever that equates to, is what it is. Dresden’s road isn’t the toughest nor is it the most scenic but he’s trying to make sense of this road we call life in healthy and unhealthy ways and in making sense of it maybe he can figure out how he can make his own little home a tiny bit better.
J.A. has accomplished a level of authenticity here that should be lauded. Take The Long Way Home is a spectacular achievement, one which is a departure from previous works I’ve read of hers and one that demonstrably exemplifies a new level of maturity in her writing, in my opinion.
Highly recommend to fans of slice of life stories with complicated characters and feelz. Tons of feelz.
A review copy was provided in exchange for an honest review.
Two things you should know from the outset:
● This is not my kind of book. Generally speaking, I'm not a feelz book reader. This is a feelz book. It’s also the quintessential slice of life book whereas I tend to gravitate to books with more of an action bent.
● I got hoodwinked by J.A. Rock. J.A. dropped by the blog to promote this book not too long ago. I read the excerpt and I thought it was going to be a fun rom-com wherein some vegans get butthurt and possibly fall in love. HOODWINKED! Fun is not the first word that comes to mind when describing Take The Long Way Home, though it does have its moments.
However, Dresden despite himself and against all odds won me over. I wanted to choke him, hug him, strangle him and tuck him in at night whispering to him how everything would be ok, to not be so hard on himself. Take The Long Way Home is told in first person present tense and Dresden is the embodiment of present-wholly, completely and utterly present. He’s stunningly intelligent, heartbreakingly observant and he bears his imperfect soul to us for a few short chapters. He’s lost, lonely, fucked up in a lot of ways but he cares, probably too much for his own good. He might not know how to show it or say it, but he tries and at the end of the day that’s all any of us can do.
I stop panting for a moment so I can listen to him. He stops too, and then he crushes me to him, and I feel so fucking okay it's ridiculous. I turn and put my head against his chest, which is not something I would normally do to a stranger, but his body suddenly seems like the only fucking thing I trust in the world.
Dresden and Caleb’s relationship is quiet and organic but theirs is not a traditional love story. There are no big declarations of love or everlasting devotion. It's not fluffy or sweet. They're both damaged. Their relationship has an honesty that I found profound in its simplicity; it’s beauty in its simplest form. They are two flawed people who are trying to figure out if all their imperfections add up to something extraordinary or something commonplace. I feel like Caleb is the lone weakness in this altogether brilliant story. I can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to him and his own darkness than what we were given and I wish Dresden would’ve explored it more. For that I’m deducting a half star.
My barometer on familial dysfunction is skewed to hell and back, so I’ll lay out Dresden’s backstory. He was abused and terrorized by his older brother. His father died suddenly when he was a pre-teen leaving a mother ill-equipped to parent three children and who failed them all more often than not. His sister cuts the heads off her dolls and likes to pretend they’re Mafiosi who snuff each other out in her dollhouse. Whatever that equates to, is what it is. Dresden’s road isn’t the toughest nor is it the most scenic but he’s trying to make sense of this road we call life in healthy and unhealthy ways and in making sense of it maybe he can figure out how he can make his own little home a tiny bit better.
I never, in all my dumbfuck life, would have thought some guy with watermelons and rescued wood could end the noise in my head.
J.A. has accomplished a level of authenticity here that should be lauded. Take The Long Way Home is a spectacular achievement, one which is a departure from previous works I’ve read of hers and one that demonstrably exemplifies a new level of maturity in her writing, in my opinion.
Highly recommend to fans of slice of life stories with complicated characters and feelz. Tons of feelz.
A review copy was provided in exchange for an honest review.
February 18, 2015
This book.
It's everything.
All the words.
All the everything.
Read it, okay?
Trust me.
It's everything.
All the words.
All the everything.
Read it, okay?
Trust me.
January 27, 2015
I am clearly in the minority when it comes to this book. I enjoyed it, but I didn’t LOVE it like everyone else did. It started out strong. I liked Dresden. He’s smart and insightful and I enjoyed getting to know him. But the first person POV got to be too much for me. Too much focus on Dresden’s thoughts, his issues and inner struggles. Just wasn’t for me :( Moving on...
January 26, 2015
I will be honest. I bought this because it mentions vigilante vegans. I really wanted to see how they were handled (totally narcissist and bitchy of this vegan... judge away if you must) considering being different in books usually gets you made fun of. I won't even get into The Greensleeves but to say they were great moments of comic relief, treated well and I agree with them, don't ask me where I get my protein or my B12. Mmm kay?
But this book. I'm trying to process it. I loved it. There is no doubt about that. It was quietly intense and utterly gorgeous. It was everything and kinda nothing all at once. It was acceptance and moving on, but not in the way we are used to with a standard formula. There isn't that ah ha moment, we wait for that turns the story around and leads you to the sunset but more small moments that build up to a release you have to be perfectly still to notice. Good lord.
There is so much in this book. Much more than that cover - which I am sorry I hate and just does nothing for the story - as well as the blurb. The story is SO MUCH more than both of them and yet I get why they don't do it justice. They can't. There really isn't much that can do this book justice other than reading it. Reading it and letting it all soak in until you get it, until you can do nothing but feel it.
I am numb, but in the most comfortable way imaginable. Dresden was unlike any character I have read and his first person POV, which normally I don't care for, was just scattered and off the wall enough that I adored it. Probably because that is how my brain works, always six degrees away from something that nine times out of ten, end up nowhere near where they started. It's a frightening place up there and I get that Dresden is scared of all that he thinks and feels.
Caleb. I am in lust, love and in full adoration of the flannel wearing man. He has his own demons and issues but he compliments Dresden better than anyone or anything could... ever. It's not a completion of Dresden, he compliments him like the perfect song on the perfect night at the perfect moment. They just work.
I don't know what else to say. For me, this was amazing. I have so many highlights with a note that simply says "LOVE" and I am in awe of the author. I wonder if she went deep to write this and how she came out of it. I hope she had some good Disney films to watch, like the ones I watch after scaring myself with horror movies.
That end? The last thing I will say is how perfect that end is. It couldn't have been any other way and though I could have read more and more, it ended just as it should. Well done with that, Ms. Rock. Well done.
I'll stop babbling. This story has me strung out. I need to go find something to do to process this before I dive back in and read all my highlights and notes.
But this book. I'm trying to process it. I loved it. There is no doubt about that. It was quietly intense and utterly gorgeous. It was everything and kinda nothing all at once. It was acceptance and moving on, but not in the way we are used to with a standard formula. There isn't that ah ha moment, we wait for that turns the story around and leads you to the sunset but more small moments that build up to a release you have to be perfectly still to notice. Good lord.
There is so much in this book. Much more than that cover - which I am sorry I hate and just does nothing for the story - as well as the blurb. The story is SO MUCH more than both of them and yet I get why they don't do it justice. They can't. There really isn't much that can do this book justice other than reading it. Reading it and letting it all soak in until you get it, until you can do nothing but feel it.
I am numb, but in the most comfortable way imaginable. Dresden was unlike any character I have read and his first person POV, which normally I don't care for, was just scattered and off the wall enough that I adored it. Probably because that is how my brain works, always six degrees away from something that nine times out of ten, end up nowhere near where they started. It's a frightening place up there and I get that Dresden is scared of all that he thinks and feels.
Caleb. I am in lust, love and in full adoration of the flannel wearing man. He has his own demons and issues but he compliments Dresden better than anyone or anything could... ever. It's not a completion of Dresden, he compliments him like the perfect song on the perfect night at the perfect moment. They just work.
I don't know what else to say. For me, this was amazing. I have so many highlights with a note that simply says "LOVE" and I am in awe of the author. I wonder if she went deep to write this and how she came out of it. I hope she had some good Disney films to watch, like the ones I watch after scaring myself with horror movies.
That end? The last thing I will say is how perfect that end is. It couldn't have been any other way and though I could have read more and more, it ended just as it should. Well done with that, Ms. Rock. Well done.
I'll stop babbling. This story has me strung out. I need to go find something to do to process this before I dive back in and read all my highlights and notes.
January 20, 2015
Laughter and tears are never far apart on the scale of things and that's how it was for me whilst reading this funny, unforgettable, quirky, affecting story. And it's all down to the unique, voice and thought processes of its narrator and central character: eighteen year old Dresden Marich. Named by his mum "after a firebomb" he's pretty much a time bomb himself, angry and emotional, he's one big walking insecurity, made that way by two life changing events involving the death of his father and his volatile big brother who's now at military bootcamp. Incidents that have impacted on how he views himself, his relationship with his family and future in general.
Struggling daily with all this inner turmoil, he's flunked out of school, and that has driven a wedge between him and his mum. On the cusp of adulthood, Dresden is caught between worlds. Through his inner dialogues we see flashes of wisdom and profound thoughts, but like most teens he can't always see beyond the pain, suffering and indignities of his own personal life, which puts him at odds with his mum, who of course is also trying to cope (through no fault of her own) with what life has dealt her, and is enduring the best she can. Not perfect, she has made mistakes with Dresden, especially how she's chosen to handle what helped make him the way he is, so their relationship has got lost in a mess of embarrassment, disappointment and awkwardness. But the love between them is there and every now and again there are tentative, tender moments showing that, which touched me deeply, as you see beneath the anger there's still a little boy, craving comfort from the one person who he was always able to go to before his dad died; but because of his state of mind, now pushes her away because he's scared of confronting his feelings and her true thoughts about him.
The one person who seems to make at least some of his trauma go away is Evan, a twenty six year old guy he chats to on the internet, who he's never actually seen but has decided he's probably in love with, even though it's a weird ass relationship based more on sharing porn links, silly video's and odd snippets of guarded information about themselves, than a true emotional connection. All played out behind the x-rated avatars in the chat room of a sleazy hook up site called Fagland.
Then he meets calm, patient Caleb who has family issues of his own. A guy who notices things about people and stuff going on around him. Pulled to each other, they slowly drift into an idiosyncratic, sexual relationship that works because in a sense they're both misfits; yet there are times when Caleb isn't wholly sure what Dres wants, or needs from him and being the personality he is, Dresden can't always put it in words and its this, combined with sudden, unwanted circumstances at home, that ultimately pushes their budding love to the edge, and Dresden away, causing him to run to California to see if his destiny does lie outside of Caleb and the people around him at home.
So...I suppose at this point I'm making it sound like it's just a huge melting pot of doom, gloom and angst? Omg! That is SO not the case! Yes it's poignant and sad in parts, but that's all made up for by the force that is Dresden. I loved this kid!
Link to rest of review: http://bit.ly/1xQDo2c
️SINFULLY...Addicted To All Male Romance
Formerly
July 13, 2015
I loved this. I am a bit tongue tied right now, but I hope to prepare some coherent thoughts explaining why I am so smitten by this book. For now, all I have to say is
meat kisses
!
***further thoughts after I have come down from my post read high***
I want to make an analogy that may not work, but here goes. Take the Long Way Home is the not quite so fucked up literary little brother of A Little Life. And I mean it in the best possible way. The obvious, both books feature cutters who have endured abuse and abandonment and who find solace in destructive behavior.
Dresden is damaged and he doesn't have the whole bag of emotional tools to cope. He is aware of this, but that is not enough. There are no easy fixes, and doing the right thing doesn't come naturally. As a result, we witness many situations that are at best awkward and many that are downright cringe-worthy.
In spite of all this, there are rays of sunshine that beam through. We get to see Dresden and Caleb fall in love. And when you are young and in love, things can be momentarily brilliant, even if you have squat going for you. I don't think I have read a romance (mm or otherwise) that has captured that magic quite like JA Rock has in this book.
***further thoughts after I have come down from my post read high***
I want to make an analogy that may not work, but here goes. Take the Long Way Home is the not quite so fucked up literary little brother of A Little Life. And I mean it in the best possible way. The obvious, both books feature cutters who have endured abuse and abandonment and who find solace in destructive behavior.
Dresden is damaged and he doesn't have the whole bag of emotional tools to cope. He is aware of this, but that is not enough. There are no easy fixes, and doing the right thing doesn't come naturally. As a result, we witness many situations that are at best awkward and many that are downright cringe-worthy.
In spite of all this, there are rays of sunshine that beam through. We get to see Dresden and Caleb fall in love. And when you are young and in love, things can be momentarily brilliant, even if you have squat going for you. I don't think I have read a romance (mm or otherwise) that has captured that magic quite like JA Rock has in this book.
August 29, 2015
Sometimes people talk about moments that changed them. Like, the moment they hit rock bottom or the moment they found Jesus or fell in love. But I don’t know if we can really change like that—in an instant. At least not in a big way. We’re more like those poseable mannequins artists use to practice figure drawing. Certain moments yank us into new shapes, but after a few adjustments, we’re basically back in the position we started in. But it’s never exact. We’ll always be just a little bit different.
This book is spectacular.
Review to come, I hope. I... need to finish chopping those onions. Yeah.
This book is spectacular.
Review to come, I hope. I... need to finish chopping those onions. Yeah.
February 24, 2016
Three days after finishing The Silvers I couldn’t pick up a new book.
Then I decided to read another one by the same author.
So I read this.
And, once again, I’m left speechless.
I find the things J.A. Rock writes about and the way she writes special.
That’s all I've got.
September 8, 2018
So much beautiful stuff is going on with the MC, Dresden, - family, school, love, life - and we get to live through all of it with him for a few months. (I love when an author can do first person like this.)
Dresden's the middle child with an older brother who has anger and authority issues, and a creative, sensitive sister. His sweet and quirky dad passed a few years ago and his mom is disturbed and barely holding it together. It was so sad the lack of support he had, he saved his own money for therapy where the therapist just gave him excuses not reasons and tells him he's a victim. Dresden just wants a reason why everything he does seems so messed up. His mom really made me feel like a real 'helicopter parent'. (I know the mom had issues but her lack of interest and attention to her kids really freaked me out.)
Choosing to just drop out of high school with only a few months before graduation because he's failing and can't possibly pass, Dresden's struggling because he feels he "sees the world differently". He wonders if he's crazy, and he has absolutely no support from his peers or adults. Thank f he meets Caleb. Caleb's got his own issues but brings so much acceptance and clarity to Dresden's life... I love when he says,
This book is filled with wonderful ideas of how Dresden wants to be, how he wants to live and love, if he can overcome the baggage bringing him down. The author puts it all so succinctly, this book was beautifully written and very meaningful to me. This isn't the first time I've said that reading a JA Rock book makes me want to go back to all my other book reviews and take a star away... 5 stars isn't enough for this book.
Dresden's the middle child with an older brother who has anger and authority issues, and a creative, sensitive sister. His sweet and quirky dad passed a few years ago and his mom is disturbed and barely holding it together. It was so sad the lack of support he had, he saved his own money for therapy where the therapist just gave him excuses not reasons and tells him he's a victim. Dresden just wants a reason why everything he does seems so messed up. His mom really made me feel like a real 'helicopter parent'. (I know the mom had issues but her lack of interest and attention to her kids really freaked me out.)
Choosing to just drop out of high school with only a few months before graduation because he's failing and can't possibly pass, Dresden's struggling because he feels he "sees the world differently". He wonders if he's crazy, and he has absolutely no support from his peers or adults. Thank f he meets Caleb. Caleb's got his own issues but brings so much acceptance and clarity to Dresden's life... I love when he says,
You're a human being. You have good days and bad days. All your feelings are normal. And if the people you're around now don't treat you right, you'll have opportunities to go other places and meet other people.
This book is filled with wonderful ideas of how Dresden wants to be, how he wants to live and love, if he can overcome the baggage bringing him down. The author puts it all so succinctly, this book was beautifully written and very meaningful to me. This isn't the first time I've said that reading a JA Rock book makes me want to go back to all my other book reviews and take a star away... 5 stars isn't enough for this book.
August 30, 2015
I am having some kind of epiphany about J.A. Rock.
I finished The Silvers few days ago and there was something so unique in her writing I wasn't aware of before and it literally made me buy another book by her to see if I was so completely oblivious; to see if I can find that something again.
Conveniently, she just released new one.
And my mind is blown. Hence the epiphany line.
I needed this book. And I had no idea I need it.
Here is the thing- if my decision to buy/read this wasn't intentional; with a purpose behind it,I would not spare a second look on this book. The whole package, blurb and cover, is not something that would attract me otherwise. This is something Emma Sea writes about this in her terrific review- seasoned readers don't get excited about mm romance (especially contemporary) anymore. Too much of current market offer is Wash Rinse Repeat and you forget about the story and characters the minute you close your book. Like there is some kind of manual with instructions: at 17-23% Meet Cute has to happen; first sex is always around half; Drama (Relationship In Peril!) is around 75-80%. And of course, there has to be hea.
But you know what's so clever and special about Take the Long Way Home? It seems like J.A. followed the same romance formula and managed to write something unique and fucking amazing in the process.
It says a lot when you can relate to 18y old troubled kid. His thoughts are jumbled as fuck and his view of world can make Rust Cohle seem like rather jovial guy sometimes; he can make you uncomfortable and sad and mad in one sentence; but you know...we were all a bit messed up at his age. His situation is not so common, but the effects of it- on him, his life, his family are so familiar and they read so damn real you start to make connections and have flashes of something similar anyway. There is this scene where he remembers how his mom lost her patience once and started blowing her horn in the middle of traffic jam even though it wouldn't get them out of there faster and you have such a clear picture of the scene in your head- like you were there which is ridiculous. But that's this book- bits of 'realness'.
And romance... you get the sweet and lovely, but you get the ugly, the awkward and the wtf as well:
"He tenses, and then he asks, “Do you want to come sit on the back deck with me?”
I don’t know. His bed is really warm and smells kind of like graham crackers, and I’d rather lie here with him until the end of time. But… “Sure.”
We go out to the deck. He brings a blanket, and we lie on it and stare up at the stars. We’re both just in our underwear, and it’s cold as fuck. I can feel a bruise forming on the back of my head within seconds just from lying on boards with nothing but a layer of fleece for padding. But yeah, the stars are banging."
Just go read this.
You need this book in your life.
January 24, 2015
So, no. This one was not for me. I cannot completely rule out that I may simply be too old to get what's going on in the head of messed up teenager, but still. All we get in this entire book is Dresden's thoughts. And there are a lot of those. And they are everything between weird, sometimes funny and very often just sad and depressing.
Nothing was happening in the book. Dresden is not a happy kid, but mostly he just appears numb. Like he is commenting on his life kind of passing by without him really participating. Even when he and Caleb have sex there is no heat, no 'seing stars' or anything. Not even an indication that Dresden really enjoys it. It just happens like anything else in his life.
Whis is, I suppose, somehow the core of his problems. Dresden is stuck without a plan and without goals. It takes a long time and for him to lose what he has with Caleb for him to realize that he actually has choices. That he has a say in how his life progresses. So at least I got a very nice ending with plenty of hope and a positive outlook on the future for Dresden and Caleb. But the rest of the book? Honestly? Increadibly well-written, but I was a little bored.
"I just wish I knew what the point of me is. It seems like only a very few people make the world better by being in it. And the rest of us are just wasting time."
Nothing was happening in the book. Dresden is not a happy kid, but mostly he just appears numb. Like he is commenting on his life kind of passing by without him really participating. Even when he and Caleb have sex there is no heat, no 'seing stars' or anything. Not even an indication that Dresden really enjoys it. It just happens like anything else in his life.
Whis is, I suppose, somehow the core of his problems. Dresden is stuck without a plan and without goals. It takes a long time and for him to lose what he has with Caleb for him to realize that he actually has choices. That he has a say in how his life progresses. So at least I got a very nice ending with plenty of hope and a positive outlook on the future for Dresden and Caleb. But the rest of the book? Honestly? Increadibly well-written, but I was a little bored.
June 12, 2016
You hear all the time that the people you care about make the rough times in life better or whatever. But it's not just that. They make boring movies better. They make beet paste seem cool and mellow indie ballads tolerable. They change how you see the little things, and maybe that alters how you handle the big things.
And sometimes the people you care about make the rough times in life worse. Sometimes they're total douche bonnets. So, hey.
I think I'm in love with J.A. Rock :D How can it be that she doesn't know me but I feel like she totally sees me. And officially, she isn't even writing about me. At all. I'm not an alien nor a fucked-up teenager, yet I feel such a connection to both Imms and Dresden. Mind-blowing, I tell ya.
'Take The Long Way Home' is a lot of things: a coming-of-age story and a love story, it's funny, sexy, sweet, raw, dirty, and most of all, it's real.
Dresden's thoughts, his life, everything is just so fucking real. And not only the big things like accepting your life with all it's flaws and beauty, no, it's in the little things, too, in the stupid musings I like to believe we all do every single day in our life.
I love first person narration, because, when done right, it makes me feel the character like nothing else. This book is again written in present tense, and I feel like this even enhances this. To be in Dresden's head was the most refreshing experience. He has issues and he struggles, but not once did I get annoyed with him. I could understand him, his insecurities, his fuck-ups. Moreover, I found his ideas and thoughts to be mine.
This book tells a beautiful story, yet it's real and messy, too. My favourite kind. I take this over fairytales every day.
But those little shifts—the fact that I can never go back to exactly the way I was before—that's enough. That gives me hope that I'm more than poseable. That someday I'll decide what I want to be, and be it.
Another contemporary I loved... Who would have thought? All the stars and highly recommended.
And sometimes the people you care about make the rough times in life worse. Sometimes they're total douche bonnets. So, hey.
I think I'm in love with J.A. Rock :D How can it be that she doesn't know me but I feel like she totally sees me. And officially, she isn't even writing about me. At all. I'm not an alien nor a fucked-up teenager, yet I feel such a connection to both Imms and Dresden. Mind-blowing, I tell ya.
'Take The Long Way Home' is a lot of things: a coming-of-age story and a love story, it's funny, sexy, sweet, raw, dirty, and most of all, it's real.
Dresden's thoughts, his life, everything is just so fucking real. And not only the big things like accepting your life with all it's flaws and beauty, no, it's in the little things, too, in the stupid musings I like to believe we all do every single day in our life.
I love first person narration, because, when done right, it makes me feel the character like nothing else. This book is again written in present tense, and I feel like this even enhances this. To be in Dresden's head was the most refreshing experience. He has issues and he struggles, but not once did I get annoyed with him. I could understand him, his insecurities, his fuck-ups. Moreover, I found his ideas and thoughts to be mine.
This book tells a beautiful story, yet it's real and messy, too. My favourite kind. I take this over fairytales every day.
But those little shifts—the fact that I can never go back to exactly the way I was before—that's enough. That gives me hope that I'm more than poseable. That someday I'll decide what I want to be, and be it.
Another contemporary I loved... Who would have thought? All the stars and highly recommended.
July 24, 2016
2016 reread:
It is confirmed. Still brilliant :-)
Original review:
Goddammit, what a book.
What an exhilarating, brilliant, brilliant book.
I loved the little fucker. Loved him with all my heart.
I loved being inside his head, every single second of it. In his nervy, brilliant, fizzing, melancholic, manic, resilient, perceptive little head.
And at the end I wasn’t ready to let him go. Not at all.
In fact, I read this book two weeks ago, and he is still with me.
And I’ll confess, whenever I think of him, I still have a lump in my throat. Every single time – and the impact just does not let up.
The way J.A. Rock captures the tangled, too tightly wound web of difficult emotional bonds to his family is nothing short of fucking brilliant.
The way Dresden’s, Mum’s, Gunner’s and Babykate’s peculiar mix of complicated grief, guilt, hurt, helpless attachment, deep empathy, worry, shame, compassion and rage permeates the pages – it’s brilliant in a way that transcends m/m genres, YA-categories, tropes, all the shit we all love to dissect and talk about.
It is pretty simple: It’s the effect of immeasurable loss on family and the gritty resilience of living with it - in all its naked, vulnerable, eager human glory.
And now I feel like I have to sob, AGAIN!
Leave me alone.
It is confirmed. Still brilliant :-)
Original review:
Goddammit, what a book.
What an exhilarating, brilliant, brilliant book.
I loved the little fucker. Loved him with all my heart.
I loved being inside his head, every single second of it. In his nervy, brilliant, fizzing, melancholic, manic, resilient, perceptive little head.
And at the end I wasn’t ready to let him go. Not at all.
In fact, I read this book two weeks ago, and he is still with me.
And I’ll confess, whenever I think of him, I still have a lump in my throat. Every single time – and the impact just does not let up.
The way J.A. Rock captures the tangled, too tightly wound web of difficult emotional bonds to his family is nothing short of fucking brilliant.
The way Dresden’s, Mum’s, Gunner’s and Babykate’s peculiar mix of complicated grief, guilt, hurt, helpless attachment, deep empathy, worry, shame, compassion and rage permeates the pages – it’s brilliant in a way that transcends m/m genres, YA-categories, tropes, all the shit we all love to dissect and talk about.
It is pretty simple: It’s the effect of immeasurable loss on family and the gritty resilience of living with it - in all its naked, vulnerable, eager human glory.
And now I feel like I have to sob, AGAIN!
Leave me alone.
January 24, 2015
I kinda feel I'm basically ruined, book-wise, for the next couple of months...perhaps even the year.
I consumed it in probably the best way one can read a book if one has the luxury of time....in one afternoon, with my feet up on the couch, receiving the full blast of my rotating floor fan, cold glass of something mostly ice in one hand and tissue clasped in the other. Ohhh boy, this story has all the feelz and I bloody loved every bit of it.
The writing? Poignant and sad and funny and so many words of truth and beauty I can't tell you how many times I stopped to re-read and savour the words.
As I head into one humongous book hangover let me point you in the direction of Emma's awesomely eloquent review.
'Cause I just don't have the words. :)
Highly, highly recommended.
I consumed it in probably the best way one can read a book if one has the luxury of time....in one afternoon, with my feet up on the couch, receiving the full blast of my rotating floor fan, cold glass of something mostly ice in one hand and tissue clasped in the other. Ohhh boy, this story has all the feelz and I bloody loved every bit of it.
The writing? Poignant and sad and funny and so many words of truth and beauty I can't tell you how many times I stopped to re-read and savour the words.
As I head into one humongous book hangover let me point you in the direction of Emma's awesomely eloquent review.
'Cause I just don't have the words. :)
Highly, highly recommended.
Read
August 21, 2016On hold for now.
Heavy stuff.
Rather read some of JA Rock's lighter stories.
Heavy stuff.
Rather read some of JA Rock's lighter stories.
March 13, 2023
I finished this yesterday, and I’ve been thinking about my rating ever since. I still can’t decide if Dresden’s honest, no-filter narration — almost a stream of consciousness, sometimes! — made this book beautifully poignant, or unnecessarily complicated.
It was definitely a moving and very unusual coming of age story/family drama. I would NOT call it a romance, though. There was a romantic element there, but it wasn’t the core of this book. That was all Dresden; he made it come alive. His voice was raw, we were literally inside his head, which, honestly, left me with mixed feelings… but they were BIG feelings.
I had two major problems here. One — the pacing. Some scenes felt overlong, or even redundant (the whole Evan arc??), while other more relevant subjects remained unexplored. Two —
Still… big feelings and all. 🙈 So: 4 stars.
It was definitely a moving and very unusual coming of age story/family drama. I would NOT call it a romance, though. There was a romantic element there, but it wasn’t the core of this book. That was all Dresden; he made it come alive. His voice was raw, we were literally inside his head, which, honestly, left me with mixed feelings… but they were BIG feelings.
I had two major problems here. One — the pacing. Some scenes felt overlong, or even redundant (the whole Evan arc??), while other more relevant subjects remained unexplored. Two —
Still… big feelings and all. 🙈 So: 4 stars.
January 29, 2015
Reading this brilliant book, is simply being inside the head of a troubled teenager.
It's not beautiful, it's not easy, and it's not very romantic.
IT IS very interesting, very compelling, sometimes silly, sometimes sad, and sometimes even a little creepy.
Dresden is lost, he lost his father few years back, and life has never returned back to normal for him and his family, and now he is being expelled from school, for his poor achievements.
There is no jock that comes to his rescue, there is no other outcast boy in his class that have the same problems, and together they form a friendship that saves them from themselves and others.
No, Dresden has himself and his thoughts.
He does meet Caleb, and they form a slow friendship of sorts.
"Sometimes people talk about moments that changed them. Like, the moment they hit Rock bottom... found Jesus or fell in love. But I don't know if we can really change like that... At least not in a big way... Certain moments yank us into new shapes, but after a few adjustments, we're basically back in the position we started in. But it's never exact. We'll always be a little bit different. The night I first went to Caleb's garage and he touched me, I thought I felt myself change. But no matter how many new ways my time with Caleb posed me, I always ended up the same old Dresden...
But those little shifts-the fact that I can never go back to exactly the way I was before-that's enough. That gives me hope."
Now you know how when you read a book you loved SO much, and you just can't understand how not everyone feels just like you? How can someone not see the awesomeness of it?
Well, in the case of this book, I can see how some may really love it, but others won't.
It's a "different" book, and it loved it for it!
Oh, just one more thing: I think it needs a different cover ;)
It's not beautiful, it's not easy, and it's not very romantic.
IT IS very interesting, very compelling, sometimes silly, sometimes sad, and sometimes even a little creepy.
Dresden is lost, he lost his father few years back, and life has never returned back to normal for him and his family, and now he is being expelled from school, for his poor achievements.
There is no jock that comes to his rescue, there is no other outcast boy in his class that have the same problems, and together they form a friendship that saves them from themselves and others.
No, Dresden has himself and his thoughts.
He does meet Caleb, and they form a slow friendship of sorts.
"Sometimes people talk about moments that changed them. Like, the moment they hit Rock bottom... found Jesus or fell in love. But I don't know if we can really change like that... At least not in a big way... Certain moments yank us into new shapes, but after a few adjustments, we're basically back in the position we started in. But it's never exact. We'll always be a little bit different. The night I first went to Caleb's garage and he touched me, I thought I felt myself change. But no matter how many new ways my time with Caleb posed me, I always ended up the same old Dresden...
But those little shifts-the fact that I can never go back to exactly the way I was before-that's enough. That gives me hope."
Now you know how when you read a book you loved SO much, and you just can't understand how not everyone feels just like you? How can someone not see the awesomeness of it?
Well, in the case of this book, I can see how some may really love it, but others won't.
It's a "different" book, and it loved it for it!
Oh, just one more thing: I think it needs a different cover ;)
May 25, 2016
I feel bad giving this a low rating. I understand what J.A. Rock was doing and she did an awesome job. I mean, she's a real writer and she deserves all the credit for that.
But frankly, I did not enjoy reading that book. I don't feel better or more enlightened for having done so. I feel like I wasted my time reading a book I didn't want to be reading just to say I read it because I'm behind on my yearly challenge.
But frankly, I did not enjoy reading that book. I don't feel better or more enlightened for having done so. I feel like I wasted my time reading a book I didn't want to be reading just to say I read it because I'm behind on my yearly challenge.
February 7, 2016
4.5 popsicles on Prism Book Alliance
There’s nowhere to hide from the unflinching beginning of this book. You get a chance very early on to decide whether you want to keep going where it’s going to take you. I, of course, kept going. I was already paralyzed, stillness surrounding me. I had no choice.
This story is grief, losing control, needing and yet rejecting it, anger, emptiness, family, self-preservation, escape, heart, need, and it’s all spectacular.
Word selection is sublime. Not a single misstep. This story about Dresden and Caleb was meant to be told by this author. You know that feeling? I know you do. I felt that here, all the way through.
I want to be a night noise – a mysterious and haunting sound people take for granted and tune out.
There’s no escape from the emotion, no escape from the crystal clear descriptions of the rough edges that seem to define everything in this small Oregon town and the people within it.
Real. Awkward and blunt conversations. Dirty hands. Freedom captured. Dresden’s narration sometimes reads like stream of consciousness, or maybe just the brain of an eighteen year old. The exception comes when he’s with Caleb. His mind slows, everything slows, except for maybe Dresden’s heartbeat. Caleb, on the other hand, is lost, slowly feeling his way around, except when he’s not, which is a lot. He’s disconnected, quiet, even sometimes with Dresden. This is where it starts, this thing that seems to make them “work” together.
To toss a bit of light into this darkness, this book has one of my favorite lines, something Dresden is thinking about Caleb:
He’s like a filthy Captain Planet.
Rock asks many of the questions I’ve wondered over the years, at different times in my life. I think I’d win big if I placed the bet that most of us have asked these things Dresden is trying to figure out.
I don’t know. I just want to be quiet. I want to not think.
Dresden begins to learn what he needs and wants, that maybe trust can once again be a part of his life. Maybe that trust will be repaid instead of betrayed. If I had to pick a single thread that weaves through this story, it would be the struggle to trust.
There is one part of the story that interrupted the flow and tension for me. It makes all kinds of sense for the story and it couldn’t be ignored, but it temporarily took things off track for me, even though I know Dresden had to try, had to find out. On the other hand, the tension is nearly unrelenting, so taut with discovery and doubt throughout this book, maybe it had to catch its breath, too.
The emotion is lingering and scratching and screaming all over these pages. It yanked my breath right out of my lungs at times. Rock found her decipher with this one and manipulated it beautifully. My experiences have been different than Dres and Caleb but I have felt exactly the same as they when facing challenges, grasping for satisfaction, and attempting to strangle anxiety.
There’s a rhythm to grief, strong and identifiable as any song. You sink into it, rock with it; you find it stuck in your head long after you’ve stopped listening, perched like a bird on the surface of your brain and pecking.
I cannot say yes, yes, yes too many times. Yes.
AJ Rock knows vulnerability, exposes and examines it. She treats it like a precious, vital thing, despite its ability to inflict pain, to make us aware that it can cause pain. The fear of vulnerability, of letting people see us, to touch and pity, to recognize and therefore strengthen and solidify its hold and power… this is the struggle with trust. It’s also redemption. The one who acknowledges our vulnerability is often one who helps us to see our opportunity and redemption.
He’s in my museum and he’s looked at my life, and now he sees all the shapeless things I’ve been and am and will become. He’s the only one in here, because he’s the only one I trust to make sense of it. To come up with an interpretation I can live with.
Rock can make the words do her bidding. It feels like I read this quickly, more quickly than usual, but that might just be my “excuse” for wanting to turn right around and read it again.
This is one of the best of the best. Not just this year or the next list. It resides in a spot which can never lose its home.
ETA: Recommended Read on PBA for March 2015
There’s nowhere to hide from the unflinching beginning of this book. You get a chance very early on to decide whether you want to keep going where it’s going to take you. I, of course, kept going. I was already paralyzed, stillness surrounding me. I had no choice.
This story is grief, losing control, needing and yet rejecting it, anger, emptiness, family, self-preservation, escape, heart, need, and it’s all spectacular.
Word selection is sublime. Not a single misstep. This story about Dresden and Caleb was meant to be told by this author. You know that feeling? I know you do. I felt that here, all the way through.
I want to be a night noise – a mysterious and haunting sound people take for granted and tune out.
There’s no escape from the emotion, no escape from the crystal clear descriptions of the rough edges that seem to define everything in this small Oregon town and the people within it.
Real. Awkward and blunt conversations. Dirty hands. Freedom captured. Dresden’s narration sometimes reads like stream of consciousness, or maybe just the brain of an eighteen year old. The exception comes when he’s with Caleb. His mind slows, everything slows, except for maybe Dresden’s heartbeat. Caleb, on the other hand, is lost, slowly feeling his way around, except when he’s not, which is a lot. He’s disconnected, quiet, even sometimes with Dresden. This is where it starts, this thing that seems to make them “work” together.
To toss a bit of light into this darkness, this book has one of my favorite lines, something Dresden is thinking about Caleb:
He’s like a filthy Captain Planet.
Rock asks many of the questions I’ve wondered over the years, at different times in my life. I think I’d win big if I placed the bet that most of us have asked these things Dresden is trying to figure out.
I don’t know. I just want to be quiet. I want to not think.
Dresden begins to learn what he needs and wants, that maybe trust can once again be a part of his life. Maybe that trust will be repaid instead of betrayed. If I had to pick a single thread that weaves through this story, it would be the struggle to trust.
There is one part of the story that interrupted the flow and tension for me. It makes all kinds of sense for the story and it couldn’t be ignored, but it temporarily took things off track for me, even though I know Dresden had to try, had to find out. On the other hand, the tension is nearly unrelenting, so taut with discovery and doubt throughout this book, maybe it had to catch its breath, too.
The emotion is lingering and scratching and screaming all over these pages. It yanked my breath right out of my lungs at times. Rock found her decipher with this one and manipulated it beautifully. My experiences have been different than Dres and Caleb but I have felt exactly the same as they when facing challenges, grasping for satisfaction, and attempting to strangle anxiety.
There’s a rhythm to grief, strong and identifiable as any song. You sink into it, rock with it; you find it stuck in your head long after you’ve stopped listening, perched like a bird on the surface of your brain and pecking.
I cannot say yes, yes, yes too many times. Yes.
AJ Rock knows vulnerability, exposes and examines it. She treats it like a precious, vital thing, despite its ability to inflict pain, to make us aware that it can cause pain. The fear of vulnerability, of letting people see us, to touch and pity, to recognize and therefore strengthen and solidify its hold and power… this is the struggle with trust. It’s also redemption. The one who acknowledges our vulnerability is often one who helps us to see our opportunity and redemption.
He’s in my museum and he’s looked at my life, and now he sees all the shapeless things I’ve been and am and will become. He’s the only one in here, because he’s the only one I trust to make sense of it. To come up with an interpretation I can live with.
Rock can make the words do her bidding. It feels like I read this quickly, more quickly than usual, but that might just be my “excuse” for wanting to turn right around and read it again.
This is one of the best of the best. Not just this year or the next list. It resides in a spot which can never lose its home.
ETA: Recommended Read on PBA for March 2015
September 25, 2015
Oh to be 18 again. The first thing I think you have to keep in mind when reading this is that it is not a love story. It really isn’t about Dresden and Caleb, it’s about Dresden, meeting Caleb is just something that happens to happen about the time Dresden is “not” graduating from high school and turning 18. I remember this….but this came at 17 (I graduated high school a year early) and it was time to get out and be an adult and decide what I wanted to do with my life. Now even though I had been trying to get emancipated since I was 14 (which is also how I managed to graduate by 17) actually being in a position to be in charge of my life had me mentally stutter stepping. Everything seemed important, every event from my past, my parents had failed me as parents, bad stuff had happened, was my boyfriend of the last two years “the one”, what the fuck was I going to do now that I was in charge? That’s kind of this book….it’s Dresden during “that” time.
At 18 things seem profound…decisions seem huge…but 20 years later…not so much. Dresden…well honestly the 38 year old you won’t even remember Caleb fake kidnapping you. Unless he reminds you about it on facebook…
I can understand why people didn’t feel there was a resolution and maybe felt cheated. I did not, seriously this kid is 18, any happy would have to be for now. He has got to go to summer school and graduate. And get a job…and stop making ridiculous purchases like canoes since he has no way to earn money….
So for me I would probably give this a three because honestly if Dresden was a real 18 year old I’d say get your shit together. You’re in charge, you can either wallow in your self-pity and be a victim of your childhood OR try and do it better. I’d also tell him stop fighting people in bars while underage drinking, that’s stupid, your 18 that shit stays on your permanent record….(Look at me adult-ing, such maturity).
At 18 things seem profound…decisions seem huge…but 20 years later…not so much. Dresden…well honestly the 38 year old you won’t even remember Caleb fake kidnapping you. Unless he reminds you about it on facebook…
I can understand why people didn’t feel there was a resolution and maybe felt cheated. I did not, seriously this kid is 18, any happy would have to be for now. He has got to go to summer school and graduate. And get a job…and stop making ridiculous purchases like canoes since he has no way to earn money….
So for me I would probably give this a three because honestly if Dresden was a real 18 year old I’d say get your shit together. You’re in charge, you can either wallow in your self-pity and be a victim of your childhood OR try and do it better. I’d also tell him stop fighting people in bars while underage drinking, that’s stupid, your 18 that shit stays on your permanent record….(Look at me adult-ing, such maturity).
March 10, 2015
This was very different from the other J.A. Rock books I've read, and less a romance as it was Dresden trying to get his act together in spite of the difficulties of the past few years and the inability of his family to help him. It wasn't just overblown teenage angst. Dresden has real problems and, frankly, has been failed by his mother who has her own problems coping. It was hard to be in Dresden's mind at times and hard to see him putting himself in some of the situations, but J.A. Rock did a fantastic job of making me feel for him.
Caleb has also been down on himself, mourning and withdrawing. While we don't really get into Caleb's thoughts, you know that he is also in need of some help setting himself back on track. The two stumble upon each other and just work, faults and all. It's not perfect and not easy and maybe not even permanent, but the two need each other.
It wasn't an easy read, but it was rewarding. J.A. Rock's writing is wonderful and really got me invested in Dresden. I don't even know what to make of his nine year old, break dancing sister's dollhouse plays, but I loved it nonetheless.
Caleb has also been down on himself, mourning and withdrawing. While we don't really get into Caleb's thoughts, you know that he is also in need of some help setting himself back on track. The two stumble upon each other and just work, faults and all. It's not perfect and not easy and maybe not even permanent, but the two need each other.
It wasn't an easy read, but it was rewarding. J.A. Rock's writing is wonderful and really got me invested in Dresden. I don't even know what to make of his nine year old, break dancing sister's dollhouse plays, but I loved it nonetheless.
March 8, 2017
Good read but it was a little to much like crawling into the mind of a very fucked up 18 year old. It's well written, I like the MC's but that's about it for me. I can add more as I've read other reviews now. I was happy to see in Vivian review https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... had also felt the undertone of Catcher in the Rye and both her and Dani's reviews https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... basically reflected what I just couldn't piece together and spit out into words with this book.
January 24, 2015
Jaysus. More coherent thoughts later.
April 6, 2015
2.5 star for me. The writing is good as expected from talented Ms. Rock. The character is deplorable. She really made it work. Official review to come.
UPDATE
Being a teenager with hormones coursing through the body can be tough. Adding in sexual orientation and inappropriate touching by a family member can mess a boy up. Personally, I believe these are all excuses Dresden Marich makes about his messed up life.
Dresden is a senior in high school and flunking out. He's been on a downwards spiral for four years. The reason to his drama is not simple and yet it is. When he meets Caleb, a twenty-four year old, it's the catalyst Dresden needs to move on.
When the main character is someone I loathe, this book is going to be hard to rate. From an enjoyment perspective, this book is one star because I despised Dresden. Honestly, there were times I thought he should be put down like an animal that has gone feral. I still don't see anything redeeming about Dresden and I would understand if his mother drowned him to put both of them out of their misery.
Ms. Rock pens a tale of dysfunction. She excels at getting into her character and creating a believable if despicable person. This will teach me to just pick up a book if her name is on it. Make no mistakes, Ms. Rock is a talented writer and this book is well written with every flawed part of a person intimately exposed. From a writing style and storytelling, this is a three star book which is why I'm leaving it at three stars on The Romance Reviews.
Here's why this book doesn't do it for me and may work for others. I find enjoyment in books when I can relate to the character or understand where they are coming from. Perhaps this genre is not for me because this new adult fiction with drama lama youth sexing it up does nothing for me. Especially when the main character's flaws are overwhelming with his lack of discipline, impulse control issues, self-hatred yet narcissistic tendencies. When I examine Dresden's behaviour and reasoning, it comes down to First World issues. It makes me wonder if Dresden didn't have so much time on his hands and perhaps even less money to fritter away, if he would still behave in this way. He is a perfect example of the self-fulfilling prophecy. He believes his own press about being "damaged" and he excels at proving it.
The only redeeming characters in this book are Dresden's baby sister, Kate, and his friends with benefits, Caleb. Caleb tells it as it is and maybe Dresden will finally get it.
"I think TV and movies have taught us all to make this production out of how we're damaged goods and no one will ever love us. You know what you are? You're a human being. You have good days and bad days. All your feelings are normal. And if the people you're around now don't treat you right, you'll have opportunities to go other places and meet other people." (pg. 90)
This is exactly my point. Dresden's melodrama seems to stem from what he believes society dictates. And one wonders where he gets it from; perhaps it is from TV and movies. Whilst bleeding hearts may cry out and say that Dresden is misunderstood with Mommy and Daddy issues, my thoughts are that Dresden needs a reality check and some hard labor. A good caning wouldn't be remiss either.
This new adult book is recommended for m/m lovers who like broken characters they think they can fix.
UPDATE
Being a teenager with hormones coursing through the body can be tough. Adding in sexual orientation and inappropriate touching by a family member can mess a boy up. Personally, I believe these are all excuses Dresden Marich makes about his messed up life.
Dresden is a senior in high school and flunking out. He's been on a downwards spiral for four years. The reason to his drama is not simple and yet it is. When he meets Caleb, a twenty-four year old, it's the catalyst Dresden needs to move on.
When the main character is someone I loathe, this book is going to be hard to rate. From an enjoyment perspective, this book is one star because I despised Dresden. Honestly, there were times I thought he should be put down like an animal that has gone feral. I still don't see anything redeeming about Dresden and I would understand if his mother drowned him to put both of them out of their misery.
Ms. Rock pens a tale of dysfunction. She excels at getting into her character and creating a believable if despicable person. This will teach me to just pick up a book if her name is on it. Make no mistakes, Ms. Rock is a talented writer and this book is well written with every flawed part of a person intimately exposed. From a writing style and storytelling, this is a three star book which is why I'm leaving it at three stars on The Romance Reviews.
Here's why this book doesn't do it for me and may work for others. I find enjoyment in books when I can relate to the character or understand where they are coming from. Perhaps this genre is not for me because this new adult fiction with drama lama youth sexing it up does nothing for me. Especially when the main character's flaws are overwhelming with his lack of discipline, impulse control issues, self-hatred yet narcissistic tendencies. When I examine Dresden's behaviour and reasoning, it comes down to First World issues. It makes me wonder if Dresden didn't have so much time on his hands and perhaps even less money to fritter away, if he would still behave in this way. He is a perfect example of the self-fulfilling prophecy. He believes his own press about being "damaged" and he excels at proving it.
The only redeeming characters in this book are Dresden's baby sister, Kate, and his friends with benefits, Caleb. Caleb tells it as it is and maybe Dresden will finally get it.
"I think TV and movies have taught us all to make this production out of how we're damaged goods and no one will ever love us. You know what you are? You're a human being. You have good days and bad days. All your feelings are normal. And if the people you're around now don't treat you right, you'll have opportunities to go other places and meet other people." (pg. 90)
This is exactly my point. Dresden's melodrama seems to stem from what he believes society dictates. And one wonders where he gets it from; perhaps it is from TV and movies. Whilst bleeding hearts may cry out and say that Dresden is misunderstood with Mommy and Daddy issues, my thoughts are that Dresden needs a reality check and some hard labor. A good caning wouldn't be remiss either.
This new adult book is recommended for m/m lovers who like broken characters they think they can fix.
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