Words. They can seem tiny and insignificant, but they have tremendous power. They create our atmosphere, ignite psychological connections, shape our thinking, determine our actions, and ultimately construct our reality. Our words can strengthen relationships or tear people down, lead to success or ruin a lifetime’s legacy. Words can truly change our world. It’s up to you to determine whether that change will be for better or for worse.
The words you allow to flow from your mouth will shape your circumstances. This practical guide will show you how to choose your words wisely in order to create the life you want.
Includes the “30-Day No Cursing Challenge.”
Nelson Searcy is the founding and lead pastor of The Journey Church, with locations in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, San Francisco, and Boca Raton, Florida, where Nelson and his family reside. Previously, Nelson was director of the Purpose Driven Community at Saddleback Church. He is the author of 10 bestselling books and founder of ChurchLeaderInsights.com.
For me, this book was very hard to start reading. I picked it up over and over reading and re-reading the same parts. I just couldn't seem to get past the beginning. I really hoped that I could read this book and get so much out of it due to the subject matter I knew I needed to learn. Tragically, this book became something similar to the Elf on a Shelf.
It was carried from room to room in my house and from the house to the office for days that became weeks before I realized it was just not going to be the kind of book I would read from cover to cover in one sitting. I still felt that the message of this book was one that I really needed to hear since it was right on point with the message I had heard at church just the week before the book arrived in the mail.
Instead of sharing the book chapter by chapter, I'll tell you about the things that hit me enough to cause me to remember them the next couple of days and weeks as I trudged through this book.
I'm sure we all realize that our words can have tremendous power. We can strengthen relations or tear people down depending on the words that flow from our mouths. As I'm sure you know, the most powerful three word phrase is I Love You. The most powerful two word phrase is I'm sorry, and the most powerful single word is I. Most everyone realizes how powerful those words are, but they don't think about the other words they use. Once we become aware of how powerful our words are, we then need to harness them and become intentional about what words come out of our mouths for our own benefits and the benefit of others as well as for God's glory.
The book challenges us to commit to transforming our lives by changing the words we speak - to speak life and share love remembering that words also define who we are - who people know us to be. In Matthew 15:18, Jesus said "The words you speak come from the heart". Words are a gift from God and they reflect the condition of your heart. By allowing Jesus to take up residence in the center of your heart, your words will bring abundant life as a natural by-product of your God-focused heart.
We have to remember Galatians 5:17 that says "The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other." On one side, we choose words of praise and encouragement or we hold our tongues completely. On the other side, we choose destruction by gossiping, complaining and cursing.
The author suggests that we start our days with praise. First by thanking God for who He is, for His love, His blessings, forgiveness and peace. If we let those words settle into our hearts, it can speak for the rest of the day. Next, we use encouragement. We think of every person with an invisible sign that says "encourage me" because let's face it - everyone needs a little encouragement even if they don't admit it! If we treat the people in our lives as the best possible versions of themselves, maybe they can become the best possible version of themselves.
The next suggestion is holding our tongue. Yes, this one is speaking loud and clear to me as it is something I really need to work on. It requires the humility to realize that my opinion may not be the best or the most important one in the room. In Proverbs, King Solomon wrote "Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others." (Prov. 12:15). Sometimes we are so busy explaining, proving and justifying ourselves and our opinions that we forget to listen. "The wise don't make a show of their knowledge, but fools broadcast their foolishness." (Prov. 12:23) Learning to hold your tongue when everything in you wants to speak takes practice and maturity.
The author then goes on to talk about gossip, in all forms, being inherently destructive. No wonder I couldn't sink my teeth into this book - it forces me to look at my own word choices and behaviors on each page now doesn't it! Gossip is a sin, plain and simple. We all know it and we have all done it. I know I have fallen prey to gossip too often, and I'm ashamed to admit it. I do realize that it tears people down, it also deteriorates trust and is very hurtful to others. "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts." (Prov. 18:8 NIV)
...... and then there's complaining. Wow, was I complaining earlier in this post about how hard this book was to read? yikes! Sorry about that. Complaining is a catalyst for a vicious cycle. We get attention or comfort by complaining so then we start complaining about something else and then before long, complaints become self-fulfilling prophecies. The truth is, no one likes a complainer. That's why, in his letter to the Philippian church, Paul wrote, "Do everything without complaining and arguing." (Phil. 2:14)
Next is cursing - I can share a little about cursing in my life. I'm no saint, but I will tell you that when I first began my walk with God in 1994, I couldn't say one sentence without a curse word or two or three. Little by little, slowly by even slower, my choice of words improved. I am not sure it was immediately noticeable to others or not, but flash forward to 2013 when I took a new job at a small satellite office consisting of three people. One of my co-workers began to share a story and cursed while sharing. She immediately stopped, turned my way, and apologized for swearing saying she didn't mean to offend me by cursing. You see, I had become a person who didn't curse and therefore, people that did curse felt uncomfortable cursing around me. If someone like me can change their choice of words, anyone can with a little intentional behavior.
Ahhhh, so I get it. Intentional word choices. That's what the book is talking about: give my heart to God, and speak God's love through my words. The more time I spend with God praying, communicating, connecting and listening, the more of God's influence affects my life. Therefore, I should find a way to spend even MORE time with God praying, communicating, connecting, listening so that I will have even more of His influence.
As David wrote, "You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely." (Ps. 139:1-4 NIV)
The next section of the book talks about prayer - using bold words, praying for yourself, praying for others, praying for things impacting the world, and having faith filled words. It also talks about listening to what God has to say to you. Take the time to listen and pray that God shows you the path. Sit quietly in His presence and allow Him time to draw you deeper into the abundant life Jesus promised in John 10:10.
The book goes on to talk about the impact of words on our loved ones, especially spouses and children. It discusses healthy approaches to confrontation, and the importance of making thoughtful word choices. There is also a 30 day no-cursing challenge for changing the negative effect of cursing in your life.
We are also reminded that children need to hear encouraging, empowering and uplifting words when they are young and not cursing or angry words that parents often throw their way tearing them down.
Overall, at the end of Tongue Pierced, the information and principles detail how readers can take control of the words they speak and begin using them to build lives filled with purpose, peace and love.
*I received a free ebook copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
A book that really opens your eyes to how our words can impact others as well as ourselves. The first half of the book was my favorite exploring this subject and especially in regards to how children are influenced and affected by words spoken over them. For some reason the name of the book makes me go "what?" I get this mental image of a person with a pierced tongue and I feel that the author didn't quite explain why he calls this book or his idea "tongue pierced". It just flies right over my head, maybe I am too dense!
All in all a very good start on the subject of being aware and careful of what goes out of our mouths reflect what is in our heart. I do like the fact that the author brought another book to my attention, I always appreciate when an author does this.
"One day you will be held accountable for the life you created and the influence you wielded with the words you chose to speak." Your words will show themselves in your life and the life of others. Choose wisely! Full of insight and practical steps so that our words are encouraging and full of hope, words of truth in the midst of injustice and words that express our faith in Jesus. An excellent read.
"Words aren’t neutral. Every word that goes out has a consequence attached to it. How you speak to your friends, family members, and coworkers will determine the quality of those relationships. The same is true in your spiritual life. How well you communicate with God through prayer will determine the quality of your connection with him. Your internal dialogue with yourself will determine the quality of your actions and interactions each day" Nelson Searcy
A much needed reminder to be aware of the words you use when talking and referring to others, and how to react more appropriately and purposefully when others speak to you.
The power of words. How many times do we hear that one in a year? Quite often. It's because of the power our words carry that I often try to monitor what comes out of my mouth (the little words that actually come out of my mouth that it). I often catch myself saying things that are most likely not beneficial in any way or could hurt someone. So while I'm mentally keeping myself in check why not pick up a book that is supposed to help me? It sounded like an awesome idea. I mean really. A lot of my awesome ideas do actually begin with book. *rolls eyes* And everyone knows ho w my awesome ideas usually end up. Yup. Half-finished.
I'm not going to bash Nelson Searcy. He had a great idea for a book and he does makes some very valid points. I'm all for improving on ourselves as much as possible. We can't be perfect but we can certainly try. I stopped around the halfway marker though when it got a little bit - uh - deceptive. So Chapter Four really did it in for me. Mr. Searcy spoke of how you're not lying to yourself when you replace negative thought with positive thoughts but when he started giving examples I could only face palm. He says they are not "delusional" but that we should consider the "other side of the coin" not just the negative side. But these examples were downright delusional. If I were encouraged to think alongside of those examples then I would be in more trouble then if I were being realistic. Is there anything wrong with being positive? No! I'm all for it. Just not that way. Anything can be taken to the extreme and in this case it was. If one can weed through things like that Tongue Pierced is still very much worth reading. We all could use some encouragement in dealing with less-than ideal circumstances that involve how we use our words. I just felt it was necessary to point this out.
DISCLAIMER: In accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising” we would like to note that we received an electronic copy of “Tongue Pierced” provided by the publishers, David C. Cook, through Netgalley.com in exchange for our honest review.
How the Words You Speak Transform the Life You Live
Nelson Searcy
David C Cook
David C. Cook
Pub Date Jan 1 2015
This book reminds us that Words are a gift from God and because they are we have got to mind how we use them. We are also reminded that words have the power to either build up or tare down. We are reminded too that the quality of our life is determined by the quality of our words. Tongue Pierced reminds us of the important of choosing words of praise instead of being in a constant state of complaining.
In Tongue Pierced we are reminded too that our most important words are the words of prayer we speak to the Lord...
This book reminds us to remember the Curse behind Curse Words and that we need to think before we speak because our words can indeed hurt. Equally important to how we speak is how we listen. Others need to know that we are taking time to listen and to hear what they have to say.
I think this book would make a great addition to any library.
In the book Tongue Pierced, author Nelson Searcy faces the problem of our words and thoughts straight on. He remains sensitive to the struggles people have without sounding judgmental or Pharisaical. He writes: “Choose words that pierce the heart with light.” Nelson gives personal examples as well as stories that drive home his points of watching what we say. He writes: “Pure language isn’t a requirement of a close walk with God; it’s a result.” I would highly recommend this book to anyone. Even if you don’t struggle with your language the book has helps for your thought life as well. Nelson also writes of the power of self-talk, prayer and encouraging words. Nelson writes: “Every word that has ever left your tongue, and those yet to, will be judged for its merit. Every word of encouragement, praise, and love you’ve spoken will be revisited. Every negative, hurtful thing you’ve said to the people you love will come to light. You’ll see the effects of every lie you’ve told and every judgment you’ve passed.” What do your words speak?
This would really be a 3.5-star book for me, if I had that option. It wasn't quite what I expected. Even though I had noticed before I started reading that the author was a pastor, I didn't realize the book would be as Christianity-centered as it was, which was fine for me, but might be less appealing for people who are not Christian. The writing style was clear, direct, and often amusing. I liked how the book helped me focus on the importance of thinking and speaking positively in order to live positively. The author did a good job of explaining _why_ we need to stop and think before speaking in order to speak in a life-affirming way, but what I feel I need more help with is _how_ to get into the habit of stopping and thinking more about what I'm going to say instead of just saying it. I tend to be a fast talker and I know I don't always stop to think enough about the consequences of what I'm about to say. I'm not really sure how to retrain myself on that, but I'll try!
Very insightful. Practical teaching and counsel for thinking about what we say and why we say it. For those, who like me struggle with putting my foot in my mouth many times and hurting slot of people with my inconsiderate speech, because of not thinking before I speak and allowing the bad influence of some, affect what I say and how I say it, this was encouraging truth and insight, helpful to get me back on track. May God help me and all those who need to reconsider how they talk to others please read this book and put into practice what you learn. Thank you.
Very positively surprised by this book. You'd expect the book to cover the importance of choosing words and words impact on yourself and others. What was unexpected was the comprehensive solution to the problem on controlling one's tongue that the author took. Breaks down to to improve one's relationship with God and how that will inevitably change how one selects words. Also a good primer on handling confrontations.
This book was well written, and was spiritually challenging on so many levels. I am taking a lot of wisdom with me from its pages, and have found ways to share sine of the concepts already with others in my life. The only drawback to the book is that there were long, significant quoted passages, sometimes as much as several pages at a time, and that most of the scriptures were taken from the Message, so i was unable to recognize them without looking them up for myself.
This book takes various topics of oral communication and examines how each can be used for God's glory and our spiritual edification. The wisdom is solid. The chapter on confrontation is especially well written and would be worth the entire book if individuals would follow it.
This is an easy read. Clear and concise with many examples of how we affect the world around us with our words. I found myself in many of those examples. I hope to stop and think before I speak and make that a lifetime habit!
Very thought provoking. Causes one to think about the words he or she is speaking. Great Bible references. The book can change your life if you choose to let it.