All the Feels: How to Stay Human in the Digital World

by Pamela Pavliscak

Because Internet meets Nancy Jo Sales's American Girls, All the Feels reveals the ways that our emotional range—and ability to name and communicate our feelings—has actually expanded and deepened in the internet age, and how we can spend our online lives enriching our human connections rather than destroying them.

Affective computing and emotional design expert Pamela Pavliscak is on a mission to make people feel better about the time they spend online–by understanding and embracing the ways that our digitally connected culture can actually improve our well-being, communication, and emotional intelligence. While it's great to go outside and touch grass, the reality of life today is that we spend most of it with our screens, whether for school, work, or socializing, from gaming to reading to streaming to learning new skills on YouTube.

Pavliscak knows that this reality is unlikely to shift, so she dove deep into the growing body of research–and conducted some of her own–about how being so plugged in affects our emotions. Study after study reveals that digital detoxes have little effect on happiness, yet how we engage with the internet (rather than how much) profoundly shapes our lives. Using emojis to communicate actually expands our emotional range. People who make positive digital connections with just three other humans a day experience lower rates of depression. Others who are exposed even briefly to memes related to mental health recovery report feeling more in control of their emotions. Turns out the possibilities for improving our emotional state are as wide-ranging as the internet itself. Pavliscak shows readers how we can open our phones each day (from bed), and rather than anxiety-spiral, we can foster all the good feels. 

Genres: Nonfiction, Technology

272 pages, Hardcover

Expected publication June 9, 2026

About the author

Pamela Pavliscak studies how technology makes us feel, whether that's low-key anxious, oddly soothed, or occasionally unhinged. She’s a design researcher who looks at everyday internet experiences like group chats that won’t stop buzzing, apps we open without thinking, and the strange comfort of AI companions that listen a little too well. Her work has appeared in The Los Angeles Times, NPR, Fast Company, Quartz, and Slate, and she’s spoken at SXSW, TEDx, and Web Summit.

Pamela blends psychology, design, and cultural observation to make sense of why being online can feel both intimate and exhausting, and how technology might support emotional well-being instead of constant overwhelm. She has collaborated with organizations including Adobe, Google, IKEA, NBCUniversal, and The New York Public Library, helping teams design technology that doesn’t rely on guilt, urgency, or outrage to keep our attention.

She teaches at Pratt Institute, where she asks future designers to care about emotional impact first. Pamela is also the author of Emotionally Intelligent Design (O’Reilly). Her latest book, All the Feels, explores the emotional side effects of modern technology, and how we can stay human and stay sane without going totally offline. She lives in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, three daughters, two dogs and an ambitious number of open browser tabs, many of which are “important.”

Reviews

[Michael Drew]

All the Feels: How to Stay Human in the Digital World by Pamela Pavliscak offers a refreshing and research driven perspective on the relationship between technology and human emotion. Rather than framing the digital world as something to escape, the book explores how it can be used intentionally to enhance emotional well being and connection.

What makes this work particularly compelling is its shift in perspective. Instead of focusing on digital detoxes or limitations, it emphasizes how the quality of online engagement shapes emotional outcomes. By highlighting research on communication, connection, and emotional expression, the book reframes the internet as a tool for growth rather than a source of harm.

The integration of behavioral insights and real-world examples adds depth and practicality. Concepts like expanding emotional language through digital communication and building meaningful online interactions provide readers with actionable ways to improve their daily experiences with technology.

At its core, All the Feels is about reclaiming intentionality in a connected world. It encourages readers to engage more thoughtfully with digital spaces, using them to foster connection, self-awareness, and emotional resilience. This makes it a valuable and timely resource for anyone navigating life in an increasingly digital environment.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like what All the Feels had to offer. Good insight on how we connect (or disconnect) from each other online, how we're adapting to get our emotions across better, and what the future may hold for us.

As someone who is FAR removed from the AI space, I found the chapters about teenagers using AI as a journal or people using AI as therapists to be deeply unsettling, but maybe I'm becoming too old and crotchety for my own good.

I do wonder how this book will hold up over time, as a lot of the lingo and terms are very present to the moment (although the author does provide insight into the memes, lingo, etc that she references throughout).

Overall, a good read!

[Annie · Rating 5 out of 5]

We all know the ways in which the internet is making our lives and mental health worse, and that we should be spending more time offline. In this book, Pavliscak looks at the less extolled virtues of the internet, especially how it's allowed us to find greater community, expand our emotional range, and, in some ways, actually benefits our mental health. I particularly enjoyed the "Amplify" chapter, about how online communication has allowed us to define a greater range of common and unique feelings (FOMO, TFW, etc.), the importance of meme culture, and the author's deep interest in emotional well-being. I found this to be quite accessible and fascinating and I highly recommend it to anyone who spends time on the internet.

Thank you to NetGalley and Algonquin Books for the advanced copy!

[Olya · Rating 4 out of 5]

All the Feels offers an optimistic perspective on technology and emotional connection, even if I don’t fully agree with all of it. While the book argues that online spaces can support emotional well-being, my experience with social media often feels like the opposite (a constant stream of people telling me what is supposedly wrong with me)...Still, the book raises thoughtful points about how digital life shapes the way we communicate and see ourselves.

I received this book from NetGalley. All opinions are my own.