The Long Shoe

by Bob Mortimer

THE BRAND-NEW BOOK FOR 2025 BY 2 MILLION COPY BESTSELLING AUTHOR BOB MORTIMER.
 
Bathroom salesman Matt is at a crossroads. He has lost his job, he is about to be made homeless and his girlfriend has left him. He wants his luck to change and he wants things to go back to how they were. Out of the blue he is offered a job that comes with a free luxury apartment. He hopes this might be enough to tempt her back. But, as events unfold, it starts to dawn on him that perhaps she didn't leave of her own accord after all...​
 
Praise for Bob
 
'As a comedian, Bob Mortimer spins a shaggy-dog story like nobody else' The Guardian
 
‘The much loved comic proves adept at noirish fiction in a debut whose surrealist humour sets it apart’ – Observer

‘Mortimer’s verbal specificity and off-kilter humour will keep his fans chuckling’ The Times 
 
'There is a sweetness to his worldview that makes his writing gently poignant... Like Spike Milligan, the only vintage comic whose fiction is still read, Mortimer has managed to use a novel as a vehicle for his distinctive comedic voice' The Telegraph

Genres: Audiobook, Mystery, Fiction, Humor, Comedy, Crime, Book Club

329 pages, Hardcover

First published October 9, 2025

About the author

Robert Renwick Mortimer is an English comedian, podcast presenter and actor. He is known for his work with Vic Reeves as part of their Vic and Bob comedy double act, and more recently the Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing series with comedian Paul Whitehouse. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Mor...]

Reviews

[Hollie Marshall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very pleased with what it achieved for me.

[Mathilda Murakami · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Bob, if you happen to read this, please just sit down and write more books. Many, many more.

[Nathan Lord · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s so Bob. So, so Bob. Delightfully Bob. Encouragingly Bob. Presumably Bob.

[Joy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was disappointing to me. I’m a big fan of Bob Mortimer’s last two books, but this one fell flat. The first 20% was funny and had his usual dry tone, but at some point the humor all fell away and it was a fairly boring story. The charm and silliness of the main character just stopped and it seemed like a weird story that shouldn’t be a book.
I didn’t find the GF’s perspective to add anything—she wasn’t funny.
I also didn’t find the “crazy friend’s” perspective to add anything—she seemed more heartless than funny. I mean, why is that even a subtheme, that she strategically tries to break up couples? I didn’t follow why that was funny or even interesting.
I listened to this one vs reading like I did the prior two Bob Mortimer mysteries. I don’t think that was what made the difference, though.
An extremely ho hum story.

[Tommy K · Rating 3 out of 5]

Diminishing returns. I don't often read celeb-authored books, but I make the exception for Bob. The first one, The Satsuma Complex, took me by surprise due to my own low expectations. The following two haven't quite achieved the same. It's still funny and packed to the rafters with Mortimerisms and the boiler-plate absurdity that is his style, but for me the novelty is wearing off. Glad I listened on audio as I'd have probably dnf'd if it wasn't for Bob's narration.

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh I was very entertained.
Hilarious, clever, what a bunch of characters.
Bob’s done it again!
Am I right?

[Steven McCarthy · Rating 5 out of 5]

The shoe was indeed frighteningly long

[Adam Murfet · Rating 5 out of 5]

GENUINE REVIEW- READ ON DAY OF RELEASE.


Fans of the Satsuma Complex and The Hotel Avocado will absolutely love this quirky, funny, brilliant page turner by the wonderful Bob Mortimer.

I laughed out loud and couldn’t put it down. Absolutely brilliant. Matt is a brilliant character and I hope there is a sequel.

The characters and the whole story was genius. Genuinely one of the best books I’ve read all year.

[Lucy Marley Clarke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audiobooked this one and it didn’t disappoint. Thank you Bob for the chuckles

[holli · Rating 3 out of 5]

funny and weird. there was indeed a long shoe!

[Mandy White (mandylovestoread) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always fun, a.ways a laugh from Bob Mortimer.i love that narrates his own books too.

[Melanie O'Neill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Who doesn’t love Bob Mortimer? He certainly can write!
His books are funny (no surprise there), warm, witty and very engaging. This is his third book and I enjoyed it immensely. Written with his unique humour, it was certainly a winner for me.
Read on my free Kindle BotrowBox Library App

[Emily B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another hit from Bob Mortimer. He can't go wrong it seems

[Judy Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this. A really good plot that kept you guessing, and enjoyed the narrative device of filling in with the squirrel and pigeon voices.
Highly recommend, but read the satsuma complex first. You can certainly hear Bob telling the story, love him so that was fine.

[Stewart Cotterill · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very Bob Mortimer book! The introduction of Goodmonson. Faint traces of theft and shrubbery. A long shoe. A fun read. Lovely to be inside Bob’s head for 4 days.

[Felix · Rating 3 out of 5]

the wind up bird chronicle for middle aged british men. listened to the audiobook of this whilst cleaning and packing my flat because my mum recommended it to me. it was fine! semi-interesting story leading to a rather unsatisfying conclusion. he learnt the concept of a red herring and ran with it too far. but it was fun, and sweet, and as someone in persistent unemployment i’d rather like someone to do that for me

[Gary Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bob’s back. His shoes are longer, his cats are chattier, and his cameras are sneakier. A comedic thriller that tiptoes through absurdity. All the better for him narrating it himself, with the equally dry humour of Diane Morgan. And he’s from a few miles from where I was born.

[Lisa - *OwlBeSatReading* · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have no words to express how much I enjoyed reading ‘The Long Shoe’ because Bob stole them all to write this book.

[Ryan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very meh. Some parts were funny, but the story was just weird.

Listened on audible and would rather have spent my credit on something else.

[Eleanor Masters · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5⭐️ I fear Bob has one writing style, it’s very lighthearted but not much more.

[Jeremy Williams · Rating 2 out of 5]

I like Bob Mortimer, but this didn't really work for me. He excels at improv comedy, but it doesn't translate well to this medium.

[Francis Pellow · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this more. Lots of half smile moments but missing the charm of Bob bouncing whimsically off Paul Whitehouse or someone else.

[Susie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Matt Giles is a recently redundant ex_salesman — specialising in gloriously high-end bathroom furniture aka baths. He lives in a rented two-bedroom house in Hither Green, SE London, with his girlfriend Harriet, an impressively capable CPS caseworker, and their cat, Gudmonsen.

With their lease coming to an end, Matt — now with far too many free days — is tasked with finding a new home. But he’s finding it hard to do much more than a bit of housework, or take his daily walk to the park followed by coffee with his neighbour Carol.

One day, Matt comes home from his walk to find a note from Harriet: she’s gone away for a few days and doesn’t want him to contact her. Upset and confused, Matt worries that their relationship might be over. What follows is a series of chance encounters, a suspiciously perfect high-end apartment that seems too good to be true, hapless adventures with various characters, and trying to keep the flirtatious Carol at arm’s length — though he can’t help needing her help from time to time.

Matt’s priorities become clear: win Harriet back, keep Gudmondsen safe, and find somewhere lovely for Harriet to return to.

It’s unmistakably the humour of Bob Mortimer — full of smiles, absurdity, and gentle laughs. Matt and Harriet are endearingly likeable, and the dialogue, especially from Lawrence (“I think so, don’t you agree? I know I do.”), is delightfully funny.

A light, warm-hearted read — and if you enjoy a bit of absurdity and the over-analysis of the mundane, I highly recommend it. Well, I think so, I hope you agree. I know I do.

[Julie Harrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

another brilliant read from Bob. I got the signed version so will be keeping this. I love that he's changed the characters this time and I love Matt as a character. Carol is funny, her ought to bring her back in the next one. A thriller that is funny before it is thrilling!

[Tina D · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you like Bob Mortimer you’ll enjoy this his third novel. I listened to the audio version and it’s Bob himself reading, with Diane Morgan and Arabella Weir. They’re all fantastic. The mode of the story is not dissimilar to the earlier two but the story feels a little tighter I think. Enjoyed the characters including a grumpy cat. Missing person and odd goings-on to be solved. Plenty of Bob’s humour in the shaping of characters and situations. An enjoyable listen on a Sunday afternoon.

[Judith Kathryn · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 - Audio from Bob always makes me smile but the premise and characters were very similar to his previous books. That said I'm now waiting impatiently for his next one ☺️

[Amy Stoney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bob’s mind is a strange place

[Sarah Cullen · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐️

[Charlotte Pearce · Rating 4 out of 5]

page turner, fun, good mystery enjoyed a lot will continue reading everything from Mr Mortimer

[Justin Berry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yes Siree Bob !
It took me a while to work out this book didn't follow on from the previous two, but that's what happens when you don't read things properly.🤔
During the last two books I craved Battenberg and during this one it was eggs, Mr Mortimer I think you are some kind of subversive influencer, and companies are therefore missing a trick.
This was a very satisfying, highly entertaining read with shades of Magnus Mills thrown into the equation. Can't wait for more.