Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the ARC.
DNF@60%. The concept of this was intriguing to me: nonbinary shapeshifter desperate to revive their dead girlfriend teams up with a witch for a forbidden ritual, and the opening chapter is captivating, but unfortunately, I found myself getting alternatively bored or irritated with the rest of the book. The descriptions of the setting work fine, but I think there's a lot of telling in regards to emotions. This resulted in a lot of emotional shifts seeming sudden and made me feel like I couldn't really connect with the characters' feelings overall, which is especially egregious with Lando's grief over their girlfriend Elizabeth. I know people grieve in different ways but I never really bought that Lando was, probably in part because Elizabeth never felt like a real person. Most of what the reader is really told about her is that she was "kind" and Lando loved her, and while I think there are interesting things to say about putting deceased loved ones on a pedestal to the point they become almost idols, I don't think that was done successfully here.
On the topic of characters not feeling like real people though, the witch side characters from Lando's college felt kind of ridiculous. I do appreciate what the author was trying to do with them (commenting on the discrimination within the queer community itself - specifically the hate trans/nonbinary people get from cisgender gay people - and also the ways in which some feminists will co-opt AFAB nonbinary people as Women Lite), but they acted like such caricatures of high schoolers that it was hard to take seriously. Additionally, I thought it was kind of weird that Lando had to keep referring to them by their full names every time they were brought up/enter the scene again, as if the reader has completely forgotten who they are.
Moving on to Lando, I don't really...like them. To be fair, they're supposed to be flawed and unlikeable, but while I can enjoy unlikeable protagonists, I can't really stand Lando and it baffles me why their love interest Bastian even sticks around. They're argumentative and sarcastic, which I wouldn't mind so much if they were *actually* witty or cutting but they're not, so it's not even entertaining; it's just frustrating. They're a judgmental hypocrite because they immediately make all of these assumptions about other people when they hate having assumptions made about them based on how they appear, they're too wrapped up in their woe-is-me mentality, and their social awkwardness manifests in a way that's just excruciating to witness because they end up putting their foot in their mouth several times. To be fair again, Lando gets called out on all of this by other characters so it's not as if they're getting a pass, but I really can't find it in myself to give them any sympathy. Their relationship with Bastian starts out fine, but as the book goes on and they're supposed to be getting "closer", I alternatively felt like they were either too close or not close enough. Like, there are a lot of moments where the two of them just info-dump their respective backstories to each other at the slightest bit of prompting despite not having known each other nearly long enough to be trauma-dumping. Then there are moments where it seems like they don't like each other at all; they end up snapping at each other *so* much, and as I mentioned before, these emotional shifts come out of nowhere. It's so exhausting watching them fight and make up, fight and make up over and over. Their banter also isn't anything special; it's not endearing or funny despite the author clearly wanting us to laugh, and most of their conversations that aren't info-dumping are boring.
The dialogue in this book as a whole is boring, honestly. A lot of it feels like the kind you're taught to cut because it doesn't add anything to the story or the characters. The pacing of the story is kind of weird; some things aren't given enough room to breathe (for instance, Lando vehemently refuses Bastian's initial offer to do the resurrection spell only to go home and change their mind literally 2 paragraphs later - what was the point? You could've restructured that) and some things are too slow (there's a little too much filler describing the minute details of what they're doing hanging out). A lot of paragraphs are also *way* too long; I don't know what the editor was doing but they should've marked them to be split up properly.
I think other people will enjoy this book more, especially those who read younger YA or are interested in queer issues being discussed in an urban fantasy setting. I do think the author did a great job exploring gender, body dysphoria, and how the shapeshifter community forces their members to conform to a binary shape as a form of "protection" in a largely cisgender society. Those were really interesting, but unfortunately, the rest of the book fell flat for me.